♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ MAN: Oh! ♪ (MID-TEMPO
PERCUSSION MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Tony's gabagool, Grandma.
It's nothing but fat
and nitrates. -Hey.
-Hey. Gabriela sends me down here
for the gabagool. -The gabagool.
-The gabagool. -Gabagool.
-The gabagool. We had sandwiches brought in
the other night. Four one halves.
Salami, gabagool. Taking the gabagool and shit
out of the fridge. Gabagool.
Over here. All this from a slice
of gabagool? Let's get back to that gabagool. Right there. The guy you're looking for is
an ex-commando. He killed 16 Chechen rebels
single-handed. Get the fuck outta here. TONY SOPRANO:
(THROUGH PHONE)<i> Yeah, nice huh?</i> He was with
the Interior Ministry. Guy in some kind
of Russian green beret. (CELL PHONE BEEPS) You're not gonna believe this.
He killed 16 Czechoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator. ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ -Ah!
-(GROANS) His house looked like shit. ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ (CAT MEOWS) He was at the safe house.
We brought him over. Get him the fuck out.
These are... ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ You can't even put 'em
around a baby. They suck the breath
right out. Well, you're the only baby here, -so we're ahead of the game.
-I said get rid of him. Leave him. He's a good guy. ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ (CAT MEOWS) Hey, Doc. It's me, Tony.
Corrado Soprano's nephew. Well if it's about your uncle,
you'll have to call my office. Well, you might need
a new secretary. I don't think you're getting
all your messages. Oh... for you. I use one.
Added 10 yards to my drive. Anyway, what am I gonna do
with it? I already got one,
and Mr. Williams here-- He don't play, right? ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ Um,
I think I'll have an espresso. Paulie, want anything? You got any, uh, just coffee? Our cafe de jour
is New Zealand peaberry. ♪ (UPBEAT BASS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Whatever. Mmm. What smells in this house? Madone.
It's like the smell of heaven. Anyway, he starts running,
the Russian. Boom! I'm telling you the top
of his head came off like a fucking bad rug. (ALL LAUGHING) What a beating
we gave this prick. Oh, madone. Lot of changes since
you went away, huh? Twenty years. Madone. Oh, madone! Oh, madone. Oh, Jesus. -Oof, madone.
-Oof, madone. Oh, madone. (GRUNTS) Oh, madone. How old is she now? She's 69. Mom really went downhill
after the World Trade Center. You know,
Quasimodo predicted all this. ♪ (UPBEAT BASS MUSIC
CONTINUES) ♪ Who did what? All these problems.
The Middle East. -The end of the world.
-Nostradamus. Quasimodo is<i>
The Hunchback of Notre Dame.</i> Oh, right. Notre Dame. Nostradamus and Notre Dame. It's two different things
completely. "This is the Copa Cabana. Inside, it's all fun and games
as mobsters wine and dine their beautiful... ♪ (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ I was at my goomah all night. Three beautiful kings. Flush. You motherfucker. Should've stayed
with my goomah tonight. I mean, these OC pricks
especially with their goomahs and their prostitutes.
Emotional cripples. His buddy on the force saw some
car out by Napoleon's diner a couple weeks ago. And I remembered
how your goomah lives up there. But you have to go.
This is the inner sanctum here. I'm not just a relative anymore. You think Paulie and his goomahs
ever get invited to dinner
with him? As for the assets, you've given me your tax returns
and investments here? The house is in my name.
Not the boat. That's the... ♪ (BASS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Yes. -Tone.
-TONY: Jesus Christ, relax. -What the fuck you doin' here?
-Taking the<i> Stugots.</i> Putting 'em
in the marina next door. IRINA PELTSIN: (THROUGH PHONE)<i>
My religious medal,</i> I look everywhere
and I think I lost it. I think it's in the<i> Stugots.</i> <i>Stugots?</i> Fucking goomba trash. This whole shoreline
is turning into
the Gulf of Sorrento. Hey, buddy! Turn it down! You want my DVD player?
You can watch<i> Grumpy Old Men.</i> You're gonna be a fucking
funny boy, too, now, huh? Hey, you're Sopranos... Yeah, but, Jackie, you go around
hoping you and your uncle could settle a thing
just the two of you. Not being invited to a fucking
sitdown. ♪ (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ Thought he was in line
to be boss. Now, he's gotta take orders
from somebody -who used to fetch him
his sambuca.
-Hey. Fuck him. Is he gonna sitdown or not? Johnny Sack wants a sitdown
tomorrow night. We're down there for 24 hours
to set up the sitdown
with my uncle. I want a sitdown then
with Ralph. Fucking thief. Get this Fernandez Paving
bullshit dealt with. Now, I won't call it a sitdown
because of the inclement
negative implications. Let's think of it as...
a meeting of minds. You're just pissed that I went
against you at the sitdown. Come on. Get the fuck
out of here and stop
wasting my time. All right,
you know why we're here. So, any doubts or reservations,
now is the time to say so. No one will think
any less of you. 'Cause once you enter
this family... ♪ (BASS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ ...there's no getting out. Family comes before everything
else. Everything. The Carnegies
and the Rockefellers. They needed worker bees
and there we were. But some of us didn't wanna
swarm around their hive and lose who we were. We wanted to stay Italian
and preserve the things that meant something to us.
Honor and family and loyalty. The old way. We keep it silent.
Putting the family first. You stay within the family. Anybody got any questions? Not personal questions
relating to yourself, but about the family. It's a thing of honor. And, God forbid, if you get sick
or something happens and you can't earn, we'll take care of you,
'cause that's a part of it. What do you think Dad does
for a living? Waste management. Do you know any other
garbage men who live in a house like this? Uncle Jackie. Why do we call him "uncle"
when he's not even related? He's in Dad's other family. TONY: It's Saint Peter,
my family saint. Now, as that card burns, so may your soul burn in Hell,
if you betray your friends
in the family. I would not deliver him
up to them. I am offering him the same
protection that I would offer
any of you. In similar circumstances,
we are a family. And even in this fucked up
day and age,
that means something. So we're gonna deal with this
as a family. Now, rub your hands together
like this. And repeat after me. -May I burn in Hell...
-May I burn in Hell... -...if I betray my friends.
-...if I betray my friends. Congratulations. (CLAPPING) (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)*** ♪ ("ODE TO JOY"
BY BEETHOVEN PLAYS) ♪ Here he is! -Oh!
-Ey! Oh. Oh, piss it away
and flack your fucking asshole. Oh! Oh! Fucking Grandpa Munster
over here. (ALL LAUGHING) -Yeah, thirty-six! Oh!
-(ALL EXCLAIMING) -You don't tell nobody.
-Oh, Bobby. The fuck you talking about? You know what I'm talking about,
you chief fuck! Oh! Oh, I suppose you let
a certain element
into your world, -you're asking for it.
-Oh! (CHUCKLES) Oh. Oh, oh! -Are you being straight with me?
-Oh! Pussy! Oh, Mr. Sensitive now. Chief. Oh! I don't know what to say. -Don't say anything, just eat.
-Oh! Fuck you, Santa! ALL: Oh! You worry he's gonna soak you
for an extra pencil? Oh! Rim shot. Do me a favor, huh? Hold this. -(GROANS)
-ALL: Oh! Oh. -Oh!
-Oh! -Oh!
-Oh. -Oh!
-Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohhh.
OH!
no mention of the most lethal term on the show?
breakin’ balls
GABAGOOL??
👇👇👇OVA' HERE👇👇👇
A. She was a Hoo-uh
Where’s the fucking baked ziti?!
Quasimodo predicted all this
OH! No Gabagool?? MADONE!! I thought we were a Family!?
I thought it was always 'marone'. Anybody want to clarify?
One of my favourite things about this series is Googling the various Italian words (and Italian-American slang) whenever you don't know what they mean. It's always hilarious.
edit: just skimmed through the video and it kinda sucks. Doesn't really showcase what I'm talking about