The Smoking Gun Present's - World's Dumbest Heroes 1

contains Co language viewer discretion is advised tonight men in uniform on Parade a salute to the armed the decorated God Save the Queen and the incumbent dead you'll see a soldier go shopping in his armored vehicle I have the war party in the tank First Responders on their saintly mission and other civil servants doing their best on our behalf featuring The always stirring Insight from our celebrity cat you felled out and busted your ass welcome to the show cre TV presents the world's dumbest Heroes and it begins now see you later [Music] I'll save you a major general shows Ukrainian Army recruits how a grenade launcher works first of all what San human being is going to be in a closed room with a grenade launcher I wouldn't have the balls would you [Music] then your point at target and pull trigger wow could you put that in layman's terms please whoops but that's how you shoot a grenade launcher any questions there really is no substitute for a live fire exercise imagine trying to follow that with a PowerPoint presentation of Supply Chain management okay now you'll notice in the top yellow circle it says power of sale I think the cameraman was psychic every time fortunately the the grenade is a blank and only shatters the ceiling the audience and Major General are covered in plaster but otherwise unharmed if there's anything we've learned from the internet over the past couple years it's don't do demos with firearms in an auditory with shoulder mounted rocket I think it was an SPG I think it was it says here grenade launcher it was a grenade well hey dude Rambo okay my brother had a plastic one but he did use it in the movie oh I'm sorry we corrected you Frank you're obviously the weapons expert here you okay sheriff's deputies have pulled over the driver of the blue truck for reckless driving while one Deputy stays by his unmarked County squad car the other heads back to his vehicle to radio headquarters have a cop of my warrant list on me but I'm out with somebody I recogniz name and I see if we had a war once you hold tight there for a minute I'm going to check in with my partner here pass interesting yes she is very interesting I think we might have a dangerous criminal here so there's only one thing to do let's back up give him some space and have a think white male date of birth 1110 of 76 as the deputies discuss the suspect hey man get back over here the driver makes his move get out car get don't you hate it when criminals don't follow directions what I want to know is how is this affecting business at Edgar's the regular yeah working on it for the regular damn it it's the thing making all the noise in your [Music] dashboard subject uh stole officer's own vehicle because officer was complete dumbass the chase turns out to be shortlived as The Fugitive quickly loses control of the vehicle got you're lucky this guy isn't a very good driver and crash into the first fence he saw otherwise you might not have gotten that thing back Dam you going to get it boy you going to get it get that son of a [ __ ] get that son of a [ __ ] get him down freeze freeze hold up get that son of a [ __ ] get over here take my C get on the ground shut up as soon as that camera goes off they're going to kick his ass Texas style the Brazen Thief is sentenced to a year in prison while the officers walk away with a valuable lesson take the key out of the IGN if nothing else you're saving gas get car get car officials in sou Fall South Dakota prepare to demolish a giant grain elevator okay you're going to watch them push the button now I like how then one woman just sneaks in and puts like a pinky on it no I just want to touch it I might run for office next year 2 [Applause] 1 it was supposed to go boom and it went blah all right five 4 3 2 [Applause] 1 damn it I told y'all we needed some Dynamite on the 15th floor never listen to [Applause] me this is like a a blooper rail for Al-Qaeda that's always good to spell out the sound that a building might make when it gets blowed up this should add a question mark after that boom like boom this is our chance to get back on the world stage the Leaning feed Tower of sou Fall South Dakota take a picture I'm going to stand next to it and hold it up you know if that building doesn't completely come down within the next 4 hours they need to see a physician immediately the building is finally brought down by by a wrecking ball people still use wrecking balls I feel like that's something that was invented in cartoons nothing more fun than wrecking balls that's my [Applause] wife coming up whoopsy Daisy then Mexican police please join our countdown can they not afford handcuffs in Mexico and later why is the gun the first thing you let go of when world's dumbest Heroes continues the following program contains course language viewer discretion is [Music] advised I'll save you a Fallen Tree blocks a major thoroughfare in a Russian city police have been called in to clear away the tree do officers normally even do this kind of work or are they branching out why didn't someone bring a chainsaw whoopsy Daisy I'm pretty sure this is how they invented the Catapult fed officer should quit his job as a cop and go get a job as a cartoon we're going to pull the tree this way why don't you stand in front of it hey why are the rest of you on the other side is there something I should I recorded it yes now I can die happy I got it I got it you got to see it in slow motion in [Music] funny the officer is red-faced but unheard I'm really starting to think that Russian police officers get their badges at the bottoms of cereal boxes that's why they can't beat us I keep telling you the Queen's guard elite soldiers charged with defending in the Royals palaces attention they are known for bravery courage and [Music] stoicism that is the dumbest marching cadence I ever saw looks like he has [Music] hemorrhoids not why is the gun the first thing you let go of that's doesn't make me feel safe oh there's my gun that's when it would probably be appropriate to open fire just to make sure that nobody saw that videotape left right left right hello act as if nothing happened nobody saw nobody saw stiff up a lip chap stop crying now or they'll ship your clumsy slapstick ass right to Gan I don't blame the guard I blame the crazy turn some jack hole invented back in the pre musket days and then when you turn like this like me knees up and over knees up and over this way you can slip on dry land I invented it the guard regains his composure and heroically returns to his post I would be very worried about the Queen's safety uh if I cared about an 87-year-old British woman oh shut up you fat [Music] Queen Mexican police take an alleged cocaine dealer into custody I think I know that guy Caro 05 yeah he was selling jewelry on the beach I remember him [Music] I have ridden from time to time in the backseat of a Jeep it's extremely uncomfortable that's exactly what I would have done he did the fullon like fish got to go you think that he's just going to sit back there and take it in today's society it doesn't work that way maybe you should invest in a squad car that doesn't look like you should have a couple of snowboard stra to the top of it can they not afford handcuffs in Mexico our drug bus done on the honor System you should see the jail it's just a fenceless yard with a sign that says please don't leave atast at least the town's people pitched in and tried to help the cops I mean oh God that's a different clip I'm thinking of which way did it go the little man which way we're going to go get that guy as soon as we take care of this mocking on looking crowd what you laughing at shut up by the way where's a good place to wait around here if I'm going to commit a crime REM go out of Mexico [Applause] [Music] New Zealand's finest are in Hot Pursuit of a stolen vehicle ahead of the chase officers lay out a spike strip one of your boys oh you know the car with the lights and the big Sirens he's one of you guys one of your boys although who can concentrate with that fancy paint job you know it is dumb to lay out the spikes on the ground when a cop car is coming but for the guy in the cop car hit the [Applause] brakes I'm coming for you mate I'm coming I'm going to get you wa what what the hell are youing doing you guys not listening to your coms I love for the guy with the camcorder is such a prick know- it all even I knew he'd gone across the uh har did you well then did you think to mention it the car thieves are captured by another police unit oh yeah we got them yeah it's easy take down there mate yeah still leing out there there oh they still leing yeah but them tires are uh ruin there eh oh sure they are yeah how embarrassing that cops CER I car the tires are going do look good Eh man does everybody hear that that's the sound of this cop's sense of selfworth slowly deflating let me see inside there yeah it's so work in order yeah it's just dumb just pure stupidity look at him writing a report for his own damn car guys one of your boys the investigative report should read flat tires cuz somebody was a dum dum close investigation Case Closed kiwi coming up I'm no paramedic or anything maybe you should lock the door and later hey what are you guys doing I want to see what you're doing she's asking them if it's a crime to have an ass this good uh she just wants a professional opinion plus a Russian soldier picks up some provisions I have vka who goes shopping in a tank when world's dumbest Heroes continues the following program contains course language viewer discretion is [Music] advised I'll save you paramedics in Turkey prepared to rush a car crash victim to the [Music] hospital oh yeah you dropped something well looks like he just met his [Music] deductible ladies and gentlemen I present to you the unluckiest man in Turkey oh hello 911 I need help the paramedics are trying to murder me I'm no paramedic or anything maybe you should lock the door turkey has a very very low standard of okay if this is okay the guy's half dead and they're having a fight tell issues okay you sure we got them locked down now for real okay I just wanted to get away from that back there how you doing buddy their cargo secure the EMTs proceed to the hospital no word on how long it took them to get there let's just drop him off at the Looney ban okay they'll say he's making it up try not to get blood on the seat I want to get out of here in Florida this deputy sheriff pulls up at the drive-thru while transporting a prisoner even the criminal was like officer this seems like poor judgment I got my criminal caught I'm in my cruiser yeah I deserve a break today hey man do you mind you're ordering you grabb me a gordita prison food really sucks bro yeah Sono come back here see you later sucker run Grimace run I'll take a uh burger and a fries you know oh hold on Mane you stop maybe the the criminal saw a sign that said no shoes no shirt no service and uh did the right thing two your order is at the window please pull ahead to the window to pick up your order I'm here I'm here I'm coming hang on hang on son of a [ __ ] oh what wait what oh sorry my ord's up I'll smell you later number 32 pleas pull coming move move out of the way if that's not bad enough I'm going to run over is a civilian he's trying to make a living you got my food yeah all right ketchup you got ketchup in there damn it dude how hungry are you what a day oh yeah this is good though you certainly don't want to get fired on an empty stomach maybe next time keep a little ziplock bag of carrots in your dashboard burito The Fugitive is apprehended by other officers a short time later come on I said I catch up damn it the deputy resigns and now has plenty of time for sit down lunches this is a classic case of good priorities food first preserving Public Safety later in Russia a tank driver takes a detour on his way to training exercises okay open up govern I have the work okay I got the work from this door open up Let Me In who goes shopping in a tank yeah I'm going to take this 28 ton vehicle to go grab some groceries you guys need gum you good on gum he bought two bottles of vodka and he was already drunk when he came into the shop I think a good rule is if someone Parks their tank in the parking lot of your liquor store they've already had enough vodka for the day here we go shoot those B and water party in the tank party in the tank wa right left where I forgot give me more vka how do you expect me to drive this [Music] [Applause] tank a Russian tank driver crushed a village in search of vodka I wonder how many times they've used that headline in Russian newspapers over the [Music] years turns out the homeowner is retired military when I served in the Army I was waiting for them to provide me with a house but they didn't in the end I resigned built my own house but they destroyed it now a drunk Russian tank driver destroyed my house does anyone else smell reality show government officials investigate the incident and announce their findings to the public the driver was absolutely sober because he was going to military exercises how can you possibly with a straight face mind you claim that this idiot was sober Stevie W could see he was drunk amazingly the soldier is cleared of any wrongdoing the Army does promise to rebuild the demolished house drunk tank drivers are what made Russia Great you just uh Point them in the right direction and they'll invade [Music] anything an Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a driver for speeding you sp little bit ready to stop you speed yes sir just a little bit 75 where I got you at he's going to give him a ticket for going 10 miles over the speed limit or as I like to call it driving just minute when the officer returns to his car to write up the ticket he realizes he's got a little problem oh sh [Music] shoot okay okay okay what I do me ride over my headquarters will you do that for me my keys in my car I'm crazy nice work is it your first day with the fake badge me ride over my head you do that and if you stop at the drive-thru buy me a Slurpee I'll let you use my Taser on someone what do you think yeah I'm not going to give you a ride because you were going to give me a ticket two seconds ago and that's really tainted our relationship my keys in my car I'm crazy he's the size of an oak tree armed to the teeth and his last words before he gets in the car I'm crazy I'd rather just have the ticket thank you there new car uh no officer don't make chitchat really cuz uh smells like a new car I don't know I don't know I don't know you ever rotate your tires going to uh take care of that uh narcotics charge yeah oh don't worry about I'll let you go it's good no seriously take care of that narcotics charge for me would you coming up a riot policeman drops his gun look at these idiots plus find out why this cop is dining on evidence look how he exhales his dignity right before he starts shoving dirty money in his mouth and more public [Applause] dumbness we need a new Statue when world's dumbest Heroes continues the following program contains course language viewer discretion is [Music] advised I'll save you it's the closing ceremonies of a hockey tournament between us and Canadian teams I think your first problem here uh is that you're marching on ice [Applause] oh no you did not just disgrace Canada's national sport this is what happens when you buy cheap rugs who is the event planner on that we're out there on that ice and one of us slips we all slip man we all go down Frankie Falls We All Fall [Applause] my favorite is a guy who claps afterwards he's the one who has the right attitude good one guys that was cool eh he's still a human despite his training I'm going to let Tanya handle this one anything involving people falling on Ice uh she's your expert these guys were a 6.0 it's kind of like anything involving someone stabbing a tenant over a dispute um that's where you want to talk to Todd Bridges that was funny wasn't it or anything involving a transexuals bonuchi right I didn't hit him cuz he was in a skirt I made that clear he's a i to hit him no matter what he was wearing officials in Sp prepare to chren a new piece of public art oh my God they have finally finished whatever the hell that's supposed to be where's her [Applause] skirt oops we need a new Statue okay senorina let it go okay the blame in Spain falls mainly on the D that thing was ugly anyway way to go lady way to go okay Sorina show me what you got some type of papier-mâché animal or beast really took it in the face on that one the hell could that statue been made of to fall over from such a tiny little smack okay em smash the sucker [Applause] uhoh wow that's a really powerful visual example of leaf Garrett's [Applause] career look on the bright side now the artist can drink the champagne [Applause] oh there must be a hell of a lot of alcohol in this bottle all right I want the bottle I I want it all I can say is it's a good thing we don't Christen babies with champagne bottles anymore [Applause] uhoh what else you hiding here in your buckets huh where's the money a police station in Russia where's the rest of the money huh this officer has been accused of bribery on the table the evidence a cop on the take in Russia I don't believe it you know something's about to happen cuz it's real quiet look how he exhales his dignity right before he starts shoving dirty money in his mouth this guy is a good problem solver evidence I got no evidence what you talking about he seems so comfortable and familiar with eating money did he grow up rich Rubble delicious I've eaten Russian food before I'd rather eat the money you don't put money in your mouth mom taught us at a 6 years old that's why Americans are cool man I love how they're trying to get the money out of his mouth it's like you know a little baby that ate part of a toy it it up delicious the hungry officer is dismissed from the force but charges against him are dropped due to lack of evidence it's on camera you got him on camera eating the evidence yes uh this man lost his job but he did get dinner V for dessert good times now let's get some vodka and some snacks get the tank some guy's [Music] house in Romania a riot breaks out between rival soccer fans why are the police even responding to a soccer Riot just let them thin the herd themselves okay [Music] a highly trained heavily armed police squad rushes in to restore [Music] order how is he going to shoot the soccer fans without his [Music] gun does Romania not have smoke bombs no tasers or anything hey let the guns fall where they may it's kind of one of the risks you take when you just kind of loosely put it in your pocket I dropped a gun now they all saw I dropped the gun now I got to shoot somebody damn it the Keystone Cops are watching this like look at these idiots whatever those soccer fans are up to they better stop quickly cuz there's a whirlwind of incompetence headed their way as sure as hell don't want you come and my rescue [Music] [Applause] Okay police suppressed the riot arresting over 100 Hooligans that was officially the most time I've ever spent watching soccer H been Cup coming up okay sir the reason I pulled you over is that you what the sorry excuse me they say a man in uniform is a [ __ ] magnet plus Fidel Castro's bid to make our countdown after a GFF like this his approval ratings are going to take a tumble and later boom Frank Stallone heroically oversharing the governor smokes Cuban cigars and I know that cuz he smokes them with my brother uhoh Turkish girls are pretty good not as hair as Italian pretty nice oh God when world's dumbest Heroes continues the following program contains course language viewer discretion is [Music] advised I'll save you oh sir could I have your license and registration please thank you okay sir the reason I pulled you over is is that you were what the sorry excuse me where was I well they say a man in uniform is a [ __ ] magnet he sir the reason I pulled you over is I clocked you at 76 mph come on get out of here oh my God that's so cute get on me go on get out shoot so what I'm going to do is I'm going to uh Rat you up a ticket here you wonder how the guy um getting the ticket felt do you have any idea why I stopped you today um officer you have a um what's the problem M okay Officer you should arrest me cuz I think I'm H hang on SEC get off and down sorry uh okay get out of here what was this cops uh badge made of catnip okay so yeah 30 days to uh pay this and uh let's see now is this your current address come on come on get out of here this cat did this with one goal in mind to get an awesome picture for his LOL cat's profile page hang on get up SC get out of here all right you take it easy have a good day okay I was kind of hoping this clip would end in us getting to see the first ever tasered cat the cat bounds off in search of a a new scratching post I'm going to need your license and registration please hey Kitty Kitty come on H climbing my children now cat damn it oh shoot come on cat good evening I'm Chuck Knight and welcome to no skid Zone the political panel show that takes aim at the world's dumbest elected officials joining me tonight Billy Kimble and Chelsea Peretti thank you Chuck item number one Romanian prime minister Emil Bach appears on a popular talk [Music] [Applause] show the prime minister is unheard though it raises the question can the Romanian people support a leader who literally falls down on the job Chuck after a gaff like this his approval ratings are going to take a [Music] tumble I have to disagree Chuck there's nowhere for Bach to go but up and that's mainly because the stage is 15t above his head moving on to item number two at a campaign stop Republican Presidential hopeful Gary Bower makes breakfast for Hungry [Applause] [Music] supporters look ding out free pancakes is nothing more than socialism and Republicans won't stand for it as Bower demonstrated oh come on Chelsea Americans love pancakes and that's why Gary Bower is a household name yeah pancakes finally Cuban president Fidel Castro concludes a commencement speech you know Chuck it wouldn't surprise me in the least if the CIA was attempting to assassinate Castro with a banana peel I think it's interesting to see how this story was handled in different parts of the world here's how we in the US saw [Applause] it and here's how it was shown on Cuban television any final words yes no good night America stay strong and stay vertical coming up you've seen 19 Heroes at work but the dumbest ones of all are still out there find out out who they are when world's dumbest Heroes [Music] continues I'll save you an Indiana police station a young woman waits in the lobby for a friend who spent the night in lockup hey what are you guys doing I want to see what you're doing just going to crawl up here ma'am what's on your TV she's asking them if it's a crime to have an ass this good uh she just wants a professional opinion hey boys what are you guys doing back there working hard yeah this is a total breach of protocol where are the dollar bills she's supposed to be picking up with her butt cheeks do you like what you see yeah do you like my boots they're furry you get a shot of this yeah you are naughty hey felini just take a picture of her boobs and get back to work hell yeah I'm going show you looking good girl Myspace here we come H it girl yeah why don't you step right over here and just see what we got sure you can Frisk me guys can you get a picture of this quick oh yeah hey guys uh there's there's a camera recording you uh it's your camera can't really come back here without getting a good Pat town hey watch it there officer nasty oh yeah you're not hiding anything are you this is great hello excuse me Mr sergeant cbass that guy was bird dogging her man whoa what's that that's real he was hump stump her yeah what a wild and wildly fulfilling night some great picks out of [Music] it got it and hopefully those will surface on the net footage of the foolish frisking is leaked to the press one officer resigns and six others are suspended at the end of the day boys will be boys if they can Crush ass they will do it oh I got to get a shot of this my phone yeah you are noty yeah all should be on National Geographic talking about foreigners yeah Russians there we go man no no it's in the jeans man they're mean people so I tell you that that's why they want to take over the world I did a movie in Berlin Germans aren't funny they're psychos they're Huns they're not funny I'm just so bored with this guy there's a reason they call it turkey uhoh Turkish girls are pretty good not as hairy as Italian pretty nice oh God that's why Americans are cool man we brush our teeth we floss what an idiot we wash our hands you know we use toilet paper instead of corn cobs Castro I understand he's a socialist and communist but why do he buy a suit why is he still wearing like GI Joe outfits you know you're an idiot this is Frank Stone remember it's just a riff I love everybody but you all blow thank you thanks for coming drive safely good night oh

Channel: C A S P E R

Views: 169,568

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Id: 3UdVOwK5C9o

Length: 42min 28sec (2548 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 21 2017