The Smoking Gun Present's - World's Dumbest Criminals 21

program contains coarse language viewer discretion is advised really what not it come on come on County tonight 20 criminals with appetites for destruction oh no no experienced felon Oh click this night friend I'll go get dessert like this striking beardless turn off in the hearts of their victims let me some drag not with that description how'd you like a stool playful featuring our team of some whatever the expert imparting legal analysis I would like to refer to the case of finders vs. keepers and first-person experiences with the law I know nothing your CV for the world's dumbest criminals it all starts [Music] a Kansas City woman attempts to return her fast food order allowed can I help you no I need another rap now I was cold you need to give me a new rap right now it was not hi was cold if it was cold it ain't no good okay let me go check him in six I'm sorry that was the last round excuse me what'd you say you ain't got no more rat you ain't got normal rat moments later she returns to lodge a formal complaint what are you doing you treat me like wit I'll cheat you like a witch now mal [ __ ] I'm a donation for your sorry ass they don't know who they talk to hey turn up that restaurant she did over here turn and quiet a bit computer ain't no cure no no there you go hey hey whoa whoa don't kick the computers okay all right hey it ain't cool this is like the Hulk if he had absolutely no muscle definition the picky eater storms off after causing $3,000 in damages police quickly identify the woman and go to her home where they discover her hiding in her bedroom closet dan good which is a great hiding spot if you're five years old hiding from imaginary monsters she charged with felony property damage when you're willing to inflict bodily harm and property damage for a rap there you go chances are you have a food addiction or chances are these rats are just that damn good ATM robberies tend to be crude Affairs often involving heavy chains and a pickup but these South African bandits think they have a better way I can I will get open it yeah harder harder yeah all right now we're gonna Rob this atm but how about we ain't got a truck or chains we got something man weapons-grade expensive like a big Alex Canyon Jordan I make oh ho ho I hate when people don't know how to use the machine all right remixed okay stop it in me Stephanie excuse me you need an ATM card what not it oh go blow it up I my bad come on County wait for it wait for it wait boys hmm guess it wasn't done here's why you don't explode ATM to get money because money is made out of paper and paper is flammable yosik hamburger and then escape unharmed but the blast destroys most of the money in the ATM don't you boy see you're bombing the very thing you love [Music] a man approaches the counter of a drugstore in Palm Bay Florida given mm nuts this is a robbery for you give me all your mind boom hold it you just give me a mine and make a quick move oh yeah all that money one cents one change yep thank you Dad Daisy wow that was one of the calmest robberies I think I've ever seen I always thought you needed a gun or a knife to rob a convenience store but it turns out you just need a cashier with a peanut allergy look whatever you do just get the peanut breath out of my face I can't take it anymore the masticating bandit spills a few peanuts as he runs out of the store cashier calls the police the option to check in the penis for the DNA hello [Applause] [Music] detective Loni here about net I think I see some DNA we have found that he is most likely a 26 to 27 year old male something tells me he's a real nutjob you know what the dumbest part about this is we have videotape of the guide spade detectives scour the area and find 24-year old Michael Malloy with $200 in cash and a bag of peanuts in his pocket cuz these peanuts really offered a full service to these cop they left a trail towards the guy and they caused him to reveal his face to the camera go peanut Malloy is found guilty of robbery and sentenced to three years in prison three years in prison guys going to see all the nuts we could ever want coming up a drug fiend goes to the source unfortunately the pharmacist does not have a pill that will make you a better robber plus I want you to put everything in legs what I blow myself up okay okay condom oh no I'm gonna blow himself up what will we so luckily we have many more but look around when world's dumbest criminals continues [Music] a man enters a pharmacy in Minneapolis okay I can do this okay here we go [Music] change it okay there we go in the sky you gotta wear the mask the whole time you can't just get in the middle of the store me like and I'm a criminal now hmm hello hello I know I'm back there okay wait he's wearing a clear mask it's a synchro get cheese you going boss them like this okay let's do this let's do it yo y'all lift it up lift it up y'all need some pills mask what give me all your drugs come on what kind of pill every wanted me get to skip specific Oh what do you got Franco's due respect I don't have those kind of pills what are always holding started holding I can't give you that evening sleep babe all right pretty something I got high cholesterol I feel ferocious I'm an insomniac I'm a little depressed and I can't get a boner give me the bills now sir I am happy to help you get all of the drugs but it's going to be a ten to 25-minute wait I mean for pro but you have to make an appointment with a doctor and get it I'm in our mouth I have got a dad give me some drugs not with that [ __ ] how'd you like a stool sample the pharmacist man went medieval on his ass great crazy come on old man hey come on now stop it oh man nice well done mr. pharmacist well done it looks like all those lion-taming classes were worth it after all the pharmacist suffers lacerations and a dislocated thumb the drug fiend flees empty-handed I gotta go over drugs unfortunately the pharmacist does not have a pill that will make you a better robber [Music] court officials and yes filed through a security checkpoint at a courthouse in Florida this visitor retrieves most of his belongings but forgets his $1,000 designer watch my day in court let's go feel confident feeling good and strong as though I got it all right Thank You officers please place your cellphone's personal items in the container and then step through when the officer calls you please all right thank you take all your belongings with you people come on through all right next monster sir there you go no cat down here oh Jesus Dilton kind of waiting for somebody to take that watch and just agonizing it's like a Hitchcock movie or something what's he doing over there well that's not his I have a very bad feeling about this oh okay check over here over little song for me camera to watch me from every single angle they're gonna know it's your dumb ass in there stealing till you turn down clearly yeah I might have a nice back there I want you to look huh okay good pickles okay sure yeah all set thank you all right listen you're a good day choke yeah you all good I'm good thank you all right then you have a good day okay what's up hello the owner of the watch eventually realizes it's missing and alerts deputy who studied the surveillance video and identified the suspect my name is Willie Earl Jeter I like watches they find Willie in an upstairs courtroom facing cocaine charges in his own defense what Willie said is is he didn't even need a watch buddy like the way this one look how did it look Willie Free Willy is arrested for theft now you're gonna be on brows with them and cocaine charges da man hey I got good time I got all the time in the world man time is on my side I'm saying is the police department I need a reported stolen vehicle and a lost child he should probably lead with the lost child the part of the equation kind of more important okay where's the child eat on the reticulum he was in the vehicle when it was took him it's really sad when your child is took in mostly because tooken is not a word he was in the vehicle when it was took in tooken past tense of the verb take used in the sentence I was took in the back of the negligence of his father where did you go were you in a business or something know that whatever you spoof is puppy wait this happened at the sassy cat you expect such behavior at your Puss in Boots are your cinnamon hippo but the sassy cat and you left your tournament the truck away for you he looks perfect so fancy cat showroom doesn't have a daycare ok what what color is your truck it's a purple Kenworth how in the hell do you forget where you parked your semi police arrive and quickly locate the man's vehicle parked exactly where you left it in the club's parking lot sharks are so tiny it's hard to see him once you've parked them turns out the man was too drunk to remember where he parked inside the truck police find his son watching cartoon I ain't movin good go he pitched a perfect game of terrible parenting all he was missing was making sure that gets televised he was in the vehicle when it was cooking away he didn't defend either there was four two men from pot tuck what's going on boss is driving me crazy means confess with you again yeah all the time doodle I was in traffic let's keep car your chief oh yeah be right right I'm just kidding the car my friend a hard time you know your college kid huh yeah there we go all round the bend all the way around your car I just can't feel it now big man big supermarket manager huh oh um cut me a good oh there we go most people keep your car by walking around it nonchalantly couple refabricate oh you like this it has Ducati on now huh oh yeah see you later is it just me or does anybody else think that taking the time to Kia car they could no you're going to set on fire is just overkill I kind of was a little disappointed that he didn't then drive it off a cliff and a whole debacle security alerts the man spots who jumps in the flaming car and drives it away from the store oh my god my god I'm fine I gotta get in now yeah get in the burning car stupid criminal stupid laws to the country firefighters douse the flames please review the surveillance tape with the manager who identifies the culprit son of a [ __ ] this guy was this close to making employee of the month employees are arrested and charged with arson and conspiracy she's done what I did go do the boss's wife cuz you can't get arrested for that coming up a dumb robber trains his apprentice hold on hold on like this nice burn I'll go get dessert like this see ladies you wanted equality in the workplace how much fun is it now plus a look back at one of our cast members own brush with the law movie sunglasses come I liked it the show kind of picks up on the cast members side projects when world's dumbest criminals continues [Music] Los Angeles California police stop a 48 year old man with a skateboard inside a commuter rail station hey mister Garrett how you doing good how you doing go ahead Lane you have this one yo you starring you are you still doing that joke show yeah getting paid to lots of people right laughs I'm funny right yeah there's a nice nine o'clock all right I'm gonna miss it oh thanks for plugging the show Lee all right minutes later on the platform excuse me mr. Garrett I see your ticket sleep move your sunglasses come on Kimmy when's the last time you dope you don't look suspicious please stop sweaty let me because you wrote this table poor blood are you guys come on to search your hands asleep movie shoes please yeah give me a pretty way buck like the search turns up a small amount of black tar heroin hidden in one of lace speakers black car why why oh I like the show kind of picks up on the cast members side projects Danny boxing Tonya Harding she drives cars please Gary he keeps heroin in his sneakers Metro we got a load 350 Nancy honey back please jared is arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance he looked innocent that pink [ __ ] out of me when I was growing up I had pictures of Lake all over my wall and now I have pictures of Leif's mug shots all over my wall I love you lace lace spends two days behind bars before posting bail I know nothing Leif I think that yes you should give up heroin and it would be in your best interest but even more so time to put the skateboard down [Music] take back the streets with Johnny no oh Sam John eNOS now the only thing I like better than making fun of criminals is lamping in their faces when I take them down vigilante style you too can be a crime-fighting machine like me with three simple tips turn your body into a weapon watch how this British woman uses my advice to neutralize a shoplifter even oleum dirtbag what's this what's going on I'll take care of this myself fine mrs. Doubtfire there you go clean that tub a well-placed foot and that crooks on a one-way trip to the slammer oh you tripped the robber we pulled the foot away in time to not trip and security again fight for the dog show mine's been very bad son turn your bicycle into a weapon watch how this Chinese man uses his bicycle to foil a couple of person edges from making their getaway on a moped never show part Oh Pam hug those handlebars chase skeeze ballz okay [Music] alright we got it we're home free buddy as long as no one crews something even just a little bit heavier done please showed up shortly thereafter and put the skids on the thieves getaway and finally if you got too much to live for get out of the way let somebody else be the weapon like at this convenience store in Portland Oregon in this case the tackler was a local drifter you heard a homeland security what is homeless security thank you very much for protecting me from that robber now get the [ __ ] out of my store you mind the robber got away but thanks to the bum rush the cops got a good look at his face smiled dillhole oh well there you have it three guaranteed methods to take back the street and just to be clear I don't condone vigilante justice unless it work [Music] at this jewelry store in Turkey a man enters and tells the clerk he's wearing a homemade bomb Allen do the was everything in legs but I blow myself up okay girl going on oh no I'm gonna blow himself up what will we luckily we have many more look around I blow me myself you everyone okay don't blow yours all of you but the clerk soon sees that the bomb is made of paper wires and bars of soap the thing about a bomb that's made with with bars of soap after you set it off your skin just feels oh so soft I'm not joking that idea is gonna go boom within me what is that bottle soap wasn't installed okay all that milady you son of [ __ ] time take off the wrapper then maybe a sake bomb but the owner has real good you thought it'll blow me up with that you thought about it no smash already I don't think my boys robbery plans included an old-fashioned pistol-whipping what do you think take that police and an ambulance arrived on the scene you will have a loan and the would-be robber is arrested mother hit the head comical bandage on the head ah that's the idiot to try to bribe the store with a big bar everyone laugh come on coming up was like he was trying to steal the jumbotron at the Dallas Cowboy Stadium plus break into a strip club Oh animal when world's dumbest criminals continues [Music] it's 2:30 a.m. and all is quiet at this Texas supermarket until a last-minute shopper flips in through a hole in the loop oh okay okay you see what we got here what are you doing steal something anything a q-tip a cotton ball some baby boom you've actually looking for the ketchup excuse me burglars ketchup is all aisle five it was in the store now what can I do um where would the money be I have no idea unable to find anything worth stealing the thief heads for the exit can we regroup system which one get out here Turner lost okay system he found his way in how can I find his way out please oh my god you can't find the hole you came out of oh that's right your mom's not there sorry well oh my gosh why I'm so in trouble man let's go come on keep it together here we go come on go on focus focus focus there's a reason to panic yes you are trapped but no you won't run out of food okay that's why they come oh yeah front Oh frontal oh yeah we got it we got it by the toy this one didn't get it yes this is the worst episode of supermarket sweep ever come on you're better than if you're better than this come on yeah we have a jackass on aisle four jackass on aisle four the seats eventually escaped by breaking a window this is exactly why you need to make a checklist before you go to the supermarket sugar check milk check exit strategy somewhere there's a way in there's a way out oh my gosh last call at the cordial lounge in Lakewood Colorado okay yeah yeah look at this guy's making the chick do all the work in this robbery hold on hold on click this nice ring I'll go against her like this see ladies you wanted equality in the workplace how much fun is it now I love TJ he was not giving it off baby [Music] dude foils the robbery outnumbered two to one and manages to preserve the beer supply Wow he also managed to wipe down the bar and pull with some glasses and I suppose you came toward him he talked the tips GJ holds the attackers at bay until police arrived they're arrested for aggravated robbery and assault whatever this woman received as a sentence this guy should get double for not being man enough to pull a robbery on his own after hours at a California gentlemen's club Oh break into a strip club Oh animal like that is one horny goat everybody wants the pizza ass now and then come on come our everywhere possible that the go broke in because he saw his reflection and thought it was another goat that he won the RAM but I think the goat just one - season 10 wait a bit today it is ah you know this makes it look bad for all the goats to go to strip clubs without incident come on sweetie what's the matter you never gave a go to lap dance ha ha [Music] hey why do I even here I think I'm gonna eat it is that cool with you guys the beasts cost $2,000 in damages you know how many lap dances these girls are going to have to do I don't pathar ''tis are still searching for the goat I've always thought it would be cool to have a pet goat I want to do that Mike I'm going to the city ball with my nose and my nose friends also go I'm gonna watch a piece of pain balls of strippers ass it's going to be amazing ma'am Ellie told me that beer my daring robbery is in place at the walk-in walk-out Chinese restaurant in Lakewood Washington myself TV man that's a big-ass TV why do they need a TV at the walk-in walk-out why don't the people just walk in and then walk out what are they doing sitting around watching TV come on baby that was the biggest flat-screen of other things it was like he was trying to steal the jumbotron at the Dallas Cowboys Stadium Kennedy is my house I want to watch you so bad I ever heard of a little something called bolt cutters oh my god oh it's broken oh nice going dumbass thanks to you our ratings are in the toilet we were huge oh baby I'm so sorry hello there handsome I'm matched by the very thing he tried you with the TV broken the unmasked man moves on to plan B what else can I get here yeah 24 big ones man 20 bull big ones true he went from an HDTV bandit to a soda bandit like that next time you should just steal a soda machine that way you'll get the soda and some money tell me coming up a foreign TV reporter gets preempted by jewel fees it's not reality it's robbery Plus meet one suspect who is easy to identify can we call the tattoo artist and whoop his ass when world's dumbest criminals continues [Music] in Switzerland a Russian TV crew takes the story at a jewelry store two bandits rush in and snatch the marbles as they're being filmed it's not reality it's robbery you know this is a really smart move on the Roberts part people really let their guard down when you're on TV le some people do I wish this thing happened more on TV shows it has a certain level of expected security guards catch up with the robbers in the hallway face that way face the wall put your ass up in the air stand over with two men being sodomized by Swiss Guards with an old Russian woman watching this isn't a crime scene it's a Fellini movie authorities arrest the thieves and the jewels are returned to the store have you really got to start doubting your robbery locations better for the next time may I suggest a place without television cameras [Music] nine-one-one what is your emergency dude I'm trying to get up to a Chinese oh just Hennessey's and what what is that the bar what how he's kidding me okay no you called 9-1-1 for fire police and medical emergency oh yes is Ammar spear need to write out the indices that's actually we don't give right I am bleeding on my ear love bleeding out of the ears and I called 911 I'll be the first thing I said and you need a paramedic they're pretty just need a ride do I need a paramedic um yeah if the party's good enough I'll need a paramedic yeah you know what I'm saying no okay what rotor you on you can Missy take the complete a two dresses do you say is red tattoos on its face what road are you on I'm that's right between Street Street and cozy tattoo face yes sir I need to know where you are so I can send you the cop police track down 37 year-old Gregory Ora how much you have to hate yourself to do that really yeah I want to know makes it look like I have herpes simplex 12 blisters Horace is charged with misusing the emergency call system police do finally give him a ride straight to jail going the wrong way hitter seasons of the way Hennessey's is right away at a clothing store in strawberry California a man browses the t-shirt section oh yeah that's too nice hey dude tie-dyed out that is doc sorry both cool cool awesome it's on here no reason hey you don't have to then God put it on this earth and I shall take it away nothing I mean how much did that shirt cost like two dollars clap days man you can take it for free you can make a dog shirt it's very easy ask whoever you buy your weed from go up into the mountain get some buckets throw some dye into his breath I called bucket throws and then throw some shirts into it was not tadaa he settles on a shirt he likes what's it on then puts his own shirt over it ready to wear man when you guys gonna get some cool tie doesn't mean there's a totally lame yeah no I didn't see anything I like can I just get a get a lighter Stevie Wonder could see that time a shirt of under there white shirt sir don't play dumb with me wavy gravy cuff up the tie-dye you don't put white over tie-dye hello I mean it's like you know having a sword thumb and your hiking you think anybody's going to notice you're hitchhiking they're gonna pay for that t-shirt huh the one you're wearing under your t-shirt oh well I totally did not know but that was there but definitely I don't want to pay for it you're being busted still inside Baxter has lower than glow luckily for the robber the store's owner decides not to press charges okay cool thank you but she does post the surveillance video on the Internet as a thief it's pretty embarrassing when the victim of your crime thinks how dumb you are is punishment enough oh sure don't press charges just press play no reason to pay the man mr. man's not smart enough to work ha ha ha you've identified 19 dumb lawbreakers but the dumbest criminal in the world is still out there find out who it is when world's dumbest criminals continues [Music] and arms seat stands over the register at a Chicago donut shop what am I in for their or their money that you know what my name is roll yeah let me get a glazed and uh Boston cream and put all the money in the fridge that's all you've got no healing no after you lie to me I'll come back the line the man takes off with $167 24 hours later I know I love Joey it's me from last night oh my god don't get robbed again hello okay I want to give you this back here turns out the robber came back to apologize and return the money is he really sweet or just totally stupid look I'm talking with on every last night okay no I'll see that now no no someone may have been taught by his mother how do you rob a donut shop and don't take damn donut oh man you need to go back to that store and return it I'm telling you I'm sorry and it's all good not enough do you understand a word I'm saying this ended up being kind of a force alone more than a robbery okay even gave her a hug his interest that he felt remorseful he really felt bad that he robbed that language copper King Stach quick hard feelings I got I'm sorry hon oh my god he broke the first rule of robbery never I'm telling you I'm sorry and it's all good okay you understand no no you understand a word I'm saying yeah hold it let me write this down let me write it down no it's done I'll hold up or not I got a card here we go an idiot she can't speak English makes you think that she can read it oh yeah girl do you like we check yes or no ah so sorry oh look she's crying in gratitude oh no that's terror the contrite crook leads off you later but is arrested later that day he pleads guilty to robbery and is placed on probation it's a good thing that you felt sorry you returned the money and everything else but still you went through it bad ass just like a day hey dummy so what so what's your name Cassidy men on your name is later Garrett I'm you seen you two before I do I was training years why you are sweating for those just dance why you looking suspicious Oh wrong jive socks just gonna try my drug [ __ ] dog out wait a minute what you getting to shoot fun that's not my shoe and that is your shoe the shoe yeah Lucy the ship came here wish you go oh dude that's not my shoe let me started whose is it the clowns so now this is your alright buddy that's it that's the other one okay not bad

Channel: C A S P E R

Views: 420,020

Rating: 4.8141532 out of 5

Keywords: full movie, full episode, full show, full show 2017, full movie 2017, the simpsons, arthur, full cartoons, ufo 2017, ufo sigtings 2017, gta 5 2017, gta6 2017, gtavi 2017, gta4 2017, gtaiv 2017, crime 360 full show, wicked attractions 2017, mafia 3 2017, cops full episode, operation repo 2017, scare tactics 2017, el chapo, shipping wars, worlds dumbest, storage wars, minecraft, call of duty, the smoking gun presents, unsolved mysteries UFO Files

Id: RzCJFGFxZRg

Length: 42min 51sec (2571 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 26 2017