- What do you really know about
the Founding Fathers, huh? George Washington was obsessed with dogs, I mean, so much so that he even invented his own breed.
(dog barking) He even had his own
hunting dog that he named, Sweet Lips.
(lips smooching) And Thomas Jefferson, well, he was all about freeing the enslaved. (audience applauding)
I mean, except for his own. (crowd booing)
And Benjamin Franklin, you know that guy? Well, you know that story
where he flew a kite during a lightning storm
and invented electricity? (wind howling)
Yeah, that didn't happen. Whoops. I personally realized so
much of us don't really know that much about the Founding Fathers and who they really were. So, I wanted to take us back to basics and get to the bottom of it. (thunder rumbling)
(upbeat instrumental music) (crows cawing) (crows cawing) (thunder rumbling)
Hi, friends. How are you? I missed you. Did you miss me? Great, I hope you're having
a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian
and I'd like to welcome you to my podcast, "Dark History". If you're new here, this is a chance to
learn about the history that for some reason maybe
wasn't in our school books, you know, the stuff they
don't want us to know But don't you worry because me and you, we're gonna learn together. And make sure to stay around
till the end of the episode, because I'm gonna have a
fun little pop quiz for you. And who doesn't love a pop quiz, huh Joan? (crows cawing)
Okay. So all you have to do is sit back, relax, and let's just talk about that hot, juicy history goss. (upbeat instrumental music)
(Bailey humming) First and foremost, I just wanna welcome you to season three. (audience applauding)
(Bailey applauding) (upbeat playful music) I'm so glad that we're here today. Look at how far we have come. We've come so far. We've learned so much, and I'm excited to continue
learning more, right, and I hope you are too. I appreciate you for being here. I'm excited, this season
is gonna be wild per usual. Oh my God. But today, I want to take us back to the, again, the basics. We're gonna talk about
the Founding Fathers. Yeah, you remember them? I didn't, and also learn about what America was really founded on. I mean, back when I was in school, we tended to focus more
on the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, which was great and dandy, but extremely boring and
nothing stuck, right. To me, it kind of felt
like we just glossed right on over the Founding Fathers. Who were they really? What were they like behind closed doors? Were they like weird kids? Were they geniuses? Maybe they had some weird kinks. I don't know, I mean, I wanted to know, I'm curious. Now, I always heard a little rumor that George Washington had wooden teeth and I was like, what,
(wooden teeth clanging) how does that work, you know? So, I looked into it, and honestly, it was really hard to find true facts about him, him like as a person, you know. Look, I'm Googling,
(keyboard buttons clicking) I'm goggling and it turns
out George Washington's teeth were just the tip of the iceberg. And it turns out it wasn't
just George Washington, I mean, it was all of
the Founding Fathers. They were all people with
niche hobbies and interests, you know, like your neighbor. So let me just stop rambling, and let's start strong with our country's first president, right. The man, the myth,
(motivational music) the legend, George Washington.
(motivational music) I'm sorry, George Washington. Yeah. Now, everyone knows about good
old George Washington, right? I'm sure we do. We know the name. But when I say, George Washington, you might know him as
that guy with the big, curly white wig, or that he chopped down that cherry tree, or, according to my uncle,
(Bailey smirking) Washington had a huge dong. (aubergine boinging) Well, it turns out, let me check my notes here, it's in the palm of my hand. They were all wrong, wrong. You know, everything was
wrong about George Washington, but apparently he's
number nine on the list of presidents ranked by dong size, so my uncle wasn't far off. So I guess his hair was all natural. I know, I was shocked. He powdered it to make it white, and under all that powder, well, I was shocked to learn that our country's first
president was a redhead. He must have burned easily.
(skin sizzling) That must've sucked. Oh, and his teeth, yeah, you don't really wanna
know what they're made of. Paul, oh my God, you showed up with your
George Washington wig today. I'm so impressed. Are you trying to show up like Joan has been showing up?
(crows cawing) Well, I hate to break it to you, bud, but you're kind of
looking like my grandma. You kind of look like a saxophone player. (upbeat saxophone music) I could see that, but nice. I like the effort. We're showing up for season three, aren't we?
(crows cawing) You know that cherry tree
story about George Washington? Well, that was also 100% made up. Oh yeah, I guess after
Washington had died, there was this scramble to
put out a book about him. You know, like there
always is with celebrities, except today it's not a book, it's like a biopic, right.
(bailey smirking) Anyway, a traveling
preacher named Mason Weems, he beats everyone to
the punch and became one of Washington's first biographers. Now, according to Weems, when Washington was
just like a little baby, like six years old, he got a hatchet as a
present from his father, which classic, you know. I know when I'm looking for
a gift for a six-year-old, I go straight to the hatchet. So honestly, it checks out. So baby George Washington is very excited about this hatchet, and he goes around the
farm where he grew up and starts hacking, just hacking away at his dad's
favorite cherry tree, yeah. Now later, probably like the next day, his father confronts him and is like, "Hey boy, did you fuck
up my favorite tree?" And little George is so honest that he allegedly tells his father, "Yes, daddy, "I cannot tell a lie. "I did that with a hatchet," apparently, a direct quote. Now, this is supposed
to be a morality story about the value of honesty which is nice. It's a nice thought but when you realize that Mason Weems actually
made the whole thing up, (hand clapping on knee) I don't know if it's
hilarious or just sad. But honestly, we on "Dark
History" already know, the truth is always gonna
be a bit juicier, isn't it? So let me stop rambling
and let's get into it. George Washington was born
on February 22nd, 1732. He was his mother's first born, but his father already had
three much older children from a previous marriage. So Little George was
the oldest to his mom, but his dad's fourth kid, so the baby in a way. He grew up on the family's
plantation in Virginia and was essentially considered
like upper middle class. Now, the plan was for little
George to go to England for a fancy boarding school, just like his older brothers before him. I mean, this was the best
education money could buy at the time so all of the
wealthiest families were doing it. But unfortunately for George, tragedy struck and his father had died when he was just 11 years old. Obviously huge bummer, right. But the cherry on top
of the tragedy tree was that it ruined any
chance for George to get that Boujee education abroad. I guess his mom didn't
have the funds for it, and George ended up staying in Virginia. So, George spent the rest
of his childhood at home, you know, just learning the
family business of farming, growing tobacco, and just
taking care of the land. He then went to a local
Virginia school off and on, and learned science and math, but English was not his strong suit because he allegedly had dyslexia. I know, you don't really hear about that a lot, you know. Now, something you need to
know about this time period, if the father, the man of the household dies, the oldest boy automatically has to take over the family's
finances and land and everything. So even though George wasn't
his father's oldest child, all of his half siblings were grown up and out living on their own, their own lives, you know. So he was basically the
man of the house as far as his mother and younger
siblings were concerned. This meant that George, even though he was 12 years old, (Bailey chuckling)
yeah, he had a ton of personal
responsibilities at home that came before his schoolwork, and ultimately this led him to drop out of school around the age of like 13. It was said that for the rest of his life, George was pretty insecure
about his lack of education. But now you're on the
dollar bill, Georgie. (Bailey cheering)
What a come up. Now, we don't know a whole
lot about George's childhood, but what we do know is that at some point, his older half brother, Lawrence, yeah, he enters the picture
and he decides to help out. Lawrence Washington was like, you know, the cool older brother that
everyone wanted to have. (upbeat electric guitar music)
He was just cool. I mean, he was 14 years older than George, and he had already been
to school in England. He'd been in the British Army. He fought in a battle
between England and Spain, and was also a famous war hero. Yeah, try and top that, you know. After Lawrence got back
to the United States, he built a massive estate in
Virginia called, Mount Vernon, which was named after one
of his mentors in the army. So when Lawrence was back in the country, he reached out to his little half brother, George, and was like, "Why don't you come live with me?" Now, obviously George was like, "Hell, yeah," because he knew that he had a lot to learn from someone like his
older brother, Lawrence. So Lawrence takes George on as his ward, which essentially means
his legal guardian, and George acts kind of
like Lawrence's intern. So when George is 19, Lawrence gets super sick and the doctors, they tell him that maybe
he should take a trip somewhere warm and sunny and, you know, maybe somewhere with sand to recover. So Lawrence packs up and goes to an island in the Caribbean called Barbados. (waves trickling)
(seagulls squawking) Yeah, you know, strictly on doctor's orders. And honestly, I was like, what the hell? My doctor just doesn't even listen to me. I want him to make me go to Barbados. So George, he's like, "Hey, wait for me. "I love the beach. "I wanna go." So he ends up going with
Lawrence to Barbados and spends seven weeks there, yeah. And while he was there, he said he was taking in the culture, learning about how to grow sugarcane and probably drinking some rum. It's a real like coming
of age chapter for him, and he's just really
living the moment, live, laughing, loving until, yeah, until teenage George
gets hit with smallpox. (Bailey groaning) Smallpox is a deadly disease that starts with just like a couple of red spots on your tongue and mouth, and then the spots
slowly develop into sores that break open and spread
the virus into the throat. (Bailey groaning)
Yeah. And then you get hit with a fever and it turns out it doesn't
end well for most, yeah. But George, he was a fighter. And guess what? He beats the pox and comes back to America with some scarring on
his face and his body, but otherwise, he's really healthy. Unfortunately, and sadly, the same couldn't be said for Lawrence. (ominous piano music) I'm excited to partner with ZipRecruiter because they can help
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A year after their Barbados trip, Lawrence dies from TB at the age of 34, which leaves George just
absolutely devastated. I mean, he's already lost his dad, taking on all these
responsibilities and now this. Yeah,
(relaxing instrumental music) super bummer. The silver lining was that
George inherited everything, including Mount Vernon, which was one of the best and biggest Virginian estates at the time. But, you know George, he's a mover, he's a shaker and he wasn't content with just settling down and
becoming a farmer, bored. So he decided he was gonna
follow in his brother, Lawrence's footsteps,
and become a soldier. In 1752, 20-year-old George
started his army career, working for the British Army. Now, this seems kind of weird, but it's just because America was still a British colony at the time. I mean, this was a perfectly
normal career path, and George was doing it. So one thing George is
famous for is being one of the best military strategists, which is kind of funny because
he really did not start out on the right foot, right, I'm gonna tell you. So by this point, tensions are running
high between the British, who are in control of America, and the French who are trickling down into America from Canada. So France, low key, was like, "We want Ohio." They want Ohio which is like, now, you're like, okay, take it. (Bailey smirking)
Just kidding. But England already was like, "Hey, it's ours." No, and meanwhile, the native people who
had been living there for hundreds of years are just like, "Hey, everyone, "Let's just be cool here
and respect the land, huh?" But basically, everyone was on edge and everyone was going after Ohio and just waiting for someone to
make the move first, to maybe even make a mistake, right. Everyone is on on edge. So then, this rumor gets out that the French Army was camping down next to the Ohio River. (upbeat instrumental music)
(Bailey humming in thought) I don't know how rumors spread
out there but it spread. And young George, he gets swept up in all this drama when his commanding officer sends him to scout out the situation. His officer's like, "Hey, go out and check
to see if the French "are really out there
squatting on our land," yeah. So he gets there, and not only does he look around and see all these French
tents and soldiers, but he starts to panic because he realizes he
is seriously outnumbered. And if anybody caught him, most likely it would be like, you know, the end for him. But instead of having a
conversation or maybe going up to the people and
explaining what he's doing, he goes from zero to a hundred, just full on "John Wick"
on the French troops, and just starts shooting
his gun everywhere, just at anything. He's just, just shooting.
(gunfire exploding) In result, he ended up shooting and killing 10 French soldiers and, whoops, a French diplomat. So the French, naturally, accused George of being
a British assassin, you know, sent to kill them. And the British were like, "Dude, we gave you one job, "man, and you really fucked it up." So nobody was happy with him, nobody. But this spark of violence was exactly what both sides were
waiting for to get the okay for an official battle. George's little, oops, was as good as like a declaration of war, and it actually kicked
off a seven-year war between the French and the
British and the indigenous people who lived on the land before either of those idiots showed up and stole it. Yeah, his little mistake just
set off a seven-year war. Bitch, are you gonna pay for that? But here's something inspiring
despite this massive fuck up, George goes on to redeem himself. I mean, think about it, when you learn about George
Washington in school, did anyone tell you he started a war by a jump scare in the woods? No. So George put his past behind
him and would actually go on to be considered one of the best military
strategists of all time. In between starting wars
and sleeping in tents, which apparently George loved tents, he was all about it, George falls in love with one woman but gets engaged to a
completely different woman. So he was a little sloppy
in the love department. In 1758, when George was 26 years old, he wrote a beautiful love letter to a woman named Sarah Fairfax, who also happened to be
his best friend's wife. (Bailey's hands clapping) What? Yeah, bro code, it wasn't happening then. Yeah, I guess they met back when George was an awkward teenager, and Sarah had apparently coached him to be a little better at small talk and even taught him how to dance. And that's pretty cute, right, until it's not. Now, it's not clear on whether any physical
relationship actually happened between them but I'm sure George's fiance
would not have enjoyed that letter if she knew about it, George. When he was 27, George got married to
a woman named, Martha, who just happened to be a rich widow. (Bailey humming with satisfaction) He's like, okay I'm in. She also had two kids of her
own named John and Patsy. Martha and George never
had any kids of their own and historians believe
that this could've been because of the complications
from George's smallpox, or maybe Martha's measles. We never know. But it didn't stop George
from being a 10 out of 10 dad. He was said to love Patsy
and John like his own, and constantly would send them letters with different advice or encouragement. George apparently also loved dancing. I mean, he would go out to a ball and spend the whole
time on the dance floor, and it was said he wouldn't
come home until four in the morning. I know. But then I was
thinking about it and I'm like, what else are they doing back then? There ain't shit to do. Just stay out and dance. Get it out while you can, shit. When George wasn't dancing
or writing letters, you could find him spending
quality time with his dogs, because he had about 30
dogs at any given time, and all kinds of dogs. He had a dalmatian that
he named, Madame Moose, a hunting dog named Sweet Lips. (Bailey humming) I guess he took Sweet
Lips everywhere with him. (Bailey chuckling) I bet you he kissed that dog. It sounds like he was definitely kissing that dog on the lips, you know. (lips smooching)
(dog barking) Also, he had a black and
tan hound named Drunkard, which is really precious.
(upbeat playful music) I love Sweet Lips, oh my gosh. That made me giggle a little too hard. But George left a big time legacy. Yeah, no shit, he's on the dollar bill, Bailey, I know. You see, in his professional life, I mean, he absolutely
was killing the game. During the war for independence, George thrived as a spy master. He would dig around to
find horrible stories about atrocities the British committed, and would end up leaking
them to the press. And, on the battlefield, he was equally badass. He had not one, but two horses shot out from under him, and had four bullet holes
shot through his coat over the course of the
War of Independence. I'm feeling more bad for those horses. Sorry, but that's awful. Okay, he saved the
American Revolution twice, at the Delaware River and in Yorktown. And when it came time for
all the Founding Daddies to attend the constitutional convention and figure out how to run
a country on their own, he was unanimously chosen
to be the one in charge, probably because of that huge dog. (spring boinging)
I bet. And he was the first person to sign the United States Constitution. So this guy was doing a lot of firsts. George was, if nothing else, a survivor. Throughout his life, he had all the Oregon Trail diseases. I'm talking malaria, smallpox, tuberculosis, and diptheria. All of those were potentially
deadly at the time and it's just like nothing
could bring this guy down. But ultimately, his
undoing was a simple cold, (man coughing) plus, a psychotic doctor. They go hand in hand sometimes. After coming home from riding
his horse in the snow, George, he's like, "Oh my God, "my throat kind of hurts, you guys." And most likely, he would have made a recovery if the doctors hadn't
decided to bleed him. Yes, bleed. Blood. Back in the day, doctors believed that cutting you open, just cutting you open and
letting the bad blood come out would cure you of anything. They're like, "Oh, "you got a foot pain?" "Bleed, blood. Solved." And that's how George Washington
ended up saying bye-bye to 40% of the blood in his body. George Washington died
on December 14th, 1799. Now, I'm not a doctor. I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm not.
(Bailey smirking) But I'm gonna say it doesn't
look like the cold is what took him out, you know. Maybe it was losing all that blood. I don't know. So one big myth about George
is that he made history by emancipating all of his
enslaved workers in his will. Now, one reason this wasn't
actually such a big deal was because other Founding
Fathers like Ben Franklin, for example, he had just gone ahead and freed his enslaved workers
while he was still alive. But not only did George say, "Hey, they can't be free until I'm dead," thanks to Martha Washington, it didn't even go as planned. When George died, all of his property passed
to his wife, Martha, and Martha wasn't ready to free anyone. She only freed a few enslaved people that she thought were going to kill her. She was paranoid, okay. But ultimately, the majority of them ended up being
inhumanely separated from their families once Martha died. The enslaved were split up between Martha's
grandchildren and children. In his whole life, George only freed one man, and his name was Billy Lee. Now, Billy Lee was, you know, like his right-hand man throughout the whole Revolutionary War. So I guess it was the least he could do. (crickets chirping) Thanks, like one guy. Okay. And then remember the teeth, the wooden teeth that
I thought was factual, and I was misled. They were actually made of cow teeth, horse teeth, but mostly
it was human teeth, yeah, which were pulled from
the mouths of his enslaved. Which was like, oh my God, I did not remember learning that in third period US
history, Mr. Randall. (upbeat playful music)
I'm not putting it on him, just, I don't remember that being in the book at all, how come? Now, something I was wondering was how the heck did George
end up on the dollar bill and was he offended about it? Any comments, George? Do you think you deserve
better, more money? Are you mad that Ben got the a hundred? Well, he actually wasn't
until 1869 when they decided, hey, how about the number one president our country ever had gets to be the face of the dollar bill, nice. But it turns out it was kind of awkward for a guy named Salmon P. Chase, yeah, the US Secretary of the Treasury, who was actually on the
dollar note before him. So they're like, sorry guy, you're out, George is in.
(playful instrumental music) At the end of the day, George is remembered for
being our first president. He was unanimously elected to the job, not once, but twice in 1789 and in 1792, kind of inspiring that he was
essentially self-educated, self-made, and really, you just couldn't kill the guy, you know. He was a a survivor, wasn't he?
(Bailey chuckling) Like, damn. Okay. So the next time you look at that $1 bill, think about good old George, military hero, lover of dogs, (lips smooching)
(dog barking) and also, dancing. Now, the next Founding Father is a man who's been described as (Bailey breathing deeply)
complicated, hypocritical, a genius, and sensitive.
(playful instrumental music) Yeah, he's the Founding
Father we have to thank for so much of what America is based on. I mean, he literally wrote pretty much the whole Declaration of Independence. I'm talking about Mr. Thomas Jefferson. (ominous piano music) Today's episode is brought
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Thomas, fun fact, he was a bit of a foodie. He liked food. Seem, seem. And thanks to him serving
this food in the White House, I mean, things like ice cream, pasta, mac and cheese, it became popular in the United States. But that's just the tip of
the iceberg with this guy. He was passionate about expanding America. Literally, it grew twice its
size when he was in power. He's a grower not a shower, you know. Thomas was also America's
first secretary of state, second vice president, and then the third president
of the United States. So make sure to write this
down so when you cheat on your test you'll be
like, thanks Bailey. And I'll be like, I got you. I got you. And while he was in office, Thomas had one of the most famous, famous presidential
scandals in the history of America, yes.
(playful instrumental music) Thomas was born on April 13th, 1743, in the British Colony of Virginia, also on his family's plantation, which was called Shadwell Estate. One of his parents came from money and one of his parents
was a blue collar farmer. You get it. His whole life, he kind of had an identity crisis. I mean, he was always half
farmer and half rich guy. You know, it's gotta be kind of confusing. Still, he had access to
the best of everything, I mean, especially when
it came to education. Word on the street was
that the Jefferson family was considered very
cultured and successful. And just like pretty much
every white dude at this time, you know, he grew up surrounded by enslaved people his family had owned. Thomas actually said his
earliest memory was being carried on a pillow by a slave. (crickets chirping) Wow. Okay, that's it? That's what he was going with? Okay. Thomas was the oldest of 10 children and it was said that
he was very shy, quiet. He was a serious kid who
struggled with a lisp and a speech impediment. And I was like, oh my God, yeah, same Thomas, same. But, he was also a little smarty pants and he always did very, very well in school. He was what is known as a polymath, aka, a person of wide knowledge and learning. This man was interested in everything, from architecture, to archeology, to botany, and even music.
(relaxing violin music) I guess he could rip it on the violin. (upbeat violin music) I know I loved the violin. I played for like three
years when I was growing up, but I'm allergic to silver. I know we're kind of like going off here, but I'm allergic to silver. And on the violin, it has those silver bars on
the side and I would play and then I would develop this fat rash. So people made fun of me and
stuff and then I stopped. (Bailey laughing) All right, so when Thomas was 14 and away at boarding school, he received some very, I'm not laughing but I am, he received some devastating news, devastating Bailey, devastating. His father, Peter, had suddenly died. I know, very George Washington, like same, right. Thomas, just like Georgie, had to become the head of the family. I mean, he was in charge of
everything at just 14 years old. So when Thomas, he rushes home and he finds out that his father's will specifically says to leave everything to Thomas' mother. Until Thomas turned 21, everything was indeed
in his mom's control. And back then, this didn't mean that
Thomas' dad was some kind of feminist hero. It was essentially like
a slap in the face, telling his son, "You're not man enough. "I'm gonna leave it to the woman." Yeah, that's kind of
(hand slapping face) slap in the face right there. And then to top it all off, I mean, even though Thomas wasn't
taking over the family's estate, he still got like left
with all of the work to do around the property. He's like, "Hey, this sucks." So every single weekend, rain or shine, he would have to haul his
back to Shadwell Estate and do whatever his mom
and sisters told him to do. So essentially, he had
all the responsibilities and none of the benefits. (Bailey imitating crying baby)
Jefferson. (Bailey imitating crying baby) Now, we know a lot about
Thomas Jefferson because he, himself was obsessed with writing letters to friends about everything, from what he ate, to how he was feeling. Again, kind of going back like there wasn't shit to do, okay. They're like, "Hey, "sky's still blue. "Woke up again." He wrote tens of thousands
of letters over his life and only mentioned his mom like twice, you know, so whoops. But the two times that
he mentioned his mom, it was implied that he
really resented her. Ooh, plot twist. Thomas Jefferson is a murderer. (ominous instrumental music)
He had to get rid of her. That could be a good movie. Even though Thomas and his
father weren't really close, you know, because he's dead, Thomas basically felt
abandoned and his mom and sisters were just ordering him around and using him to do all the work, and this was making him grumpy. So Thomas is over it and
he's ready to grow up and get the heck out of his home life. So, he's studies his off. He's studying and reading books. He graduates school
with really high honors and he ends up getting into
the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia. And at this point, the year is 1761 and
he's only 16 years old. And this guy is studying
mathematics, metaphysics, and philosophy, top that. I guess when he first gets there, he does what so many of us, so many of us wanna do
when we go off to college. You may have guessed it. He rages, he parties,
(hip-hop air horn blowing) and he goes hard. Thomas partied his first
year at college away, which he later said he really regretted. But they always say that and it's like, you're successful, why do you regret it? Anyways, I feel like
it's good to get it out of your system, you know. Eventually, he got his shit together and started working for
a law office in Virginia. And after working for a
few years as a law clerk, he got into law school
and then passed the bar. And when he was 21, he was finally freed from having to deal with his mom being a boss at Shadwell and took control of the estate fully. Hell, yeah. So now, all that land
and everything was his. Great, you got what you wanted, Thomas, are you happy? Well, around the same time, Thomas married a wealthy
widow named Martha Skelton. Martha, herself had been
married and had an infant, but sadly, both her
husband and the baby died. Oh my God. I know. Sad. By all accounts, I mean, Thomas and Martha really loved each other, I mean, even through all the
tragedy they experienced. I guess Martha had some health conditions that made it difficult
for her during pregnancy. And with every pregnancy and birth, Martha would get sicker and sicker. But I guess having babies
was more important to them, you know, so Thomas was like, "Shut the fuck up and have more babies." Martha and Thomas would end
up having six kids together, but sadly, only two survived. That's sad, you know, six and only two survive. Shit. In 1782, Martha died. On her deathbed, she made Thomas promise to
never remarry so no one else would raise their daughters. And Thomas, of course, she's on her deathbed, he's like, "Yes baby, I love you.
(lips smooching) "Anything you want, baby?" He promises this to her, great. But naturally, he was
totally devastated and even, it was said he was suicidal
after Martha had passed. And because Martha died, Thomas inherited his father-in-law's massive amount of properties. (hand clapping on knee) Included with these properties were about 100 enslaved workers. Now, this is where the complicated and hypocritical part comes in. As an attorney, Thomas took on several cases of enslaved people seeking freedom. He even waived his fee and
took on the cases for free. And if the enslaved person lost the case, Thomas would give them money, which would then help them
escape from their owners. And so much of his career is dedicated to the abolition of slavery. Now that, right, great, we love that. Now, it's weird because Thomas Jefferson was the Founding Father who, (ominous instrumental music) he owned the most enslaved people. (record player scratching) Make it make sense, right. I mean, at one point he
owned over 600 people. 600 people, and many of those people were just like whole families. Yeah, what the? Anyways, one of those families, the Hemmings, were about to become one of the names associated with
Thomas Jefferson forever. (ominous piano music) Today's episode is brought
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Apostrophe for partnering with me on today's episode. Now, let's get back to the story. (ominous piano music) Martha's father, John Wayles, had several children with an enslaved woman
named, Betty Hemmings, which it wasn't an
unusual thing back then. Sadly, enslaved people had no
way of refusing advances or, I mean, let's just say it, like assaults or rape from their owners. And sadly, when the
Hemmings were inherited by Thomas Jefferson, I mean, that didn't stop. Thomas at one point was
the minister of France to the United States, and he even lived in Paris for years. So he ends up taking one
of the Hemmings' kids, James, who was a teenager at the time, he takes him with him to
France to be his butler. Thomas wanted James to learn the art of French cooking because, again, he's a foodie and he was
obsessed with French food. He wanted to be able to enjoy it when he got back home to America. So he told James, if he learned how to make French food and then could teach
it to the chef at home, he would free him. Thomas got his wish, and a bunch of foods we know
today like French fries, became popular in America
because of this deal. But the most famous thing
Thomas was known for had nothing to do with food. A few years later his daughter's nanny, her name is Sally Hemmings, joined them in France. Not long after they got there, Thomas and Sally started
having a sexual relationship. Now, you know, I hate to call it a relationship or an affair for two reasons. One, Sally was Thomas' property. And like we said earlier, she didn't really have a
choice to say yes or no. And two, when Thomas
got together with Sally, he was 44 and Sally was 14. Yeah. There are not many details about when or how it all got started, but we do know Sally
was kind of like a nanny to Thomas' daughters. She would take care of them and help them get dressed and all of that, and she was also a maid in the household. The sexual relationship between
Thomas and Sally carried on for most of the five years
that Thomas was in France. And just before the whole
Jefferson family was about to pack up and head back to America, Sally revealed that she was
pregnant with Thomas' child. Now, if you've been paying attention, you'll remember I said Thomas
Jefferson's father-in-law was Sally Hemmings father. I need a little chart, don't I, with like a laser pointer? (playful instrumental music)
Wouldn't that be fun? Let me know if I should
do that down below. That means that Sally
and Thomas' wife, Martha, were half siblings. Sally and Martha were
half siblings, got it? Okay, great, which is kind of wild. Yeah. Sorry.
(Bailey laughing) I'm putting the pieces together
right now and I'm like, yeah, that is wild. So Sally ended up negotiating with Thomas, you know, saying like, "Hey listen, you have to promise me "to free our child once
they turn 18, okay, "or I ain't coming back, bitch." Which essentially, at this time, to make demands as a young teenager to your boss who impregnated you, I mean, that was very, very brave of her. Once they returned to America, the baby sadly passed away, but Sally went on to have
six of Thomas' children. Four of them survived to adulthood. And eventually, it seems
like Thomas did end up keeping his promise
because he did free all four of the children he had with her, which is like the bare minimum, but. (Bailey clapping hands) You know, now Sally
never left Thomas' side and she lived in a wing of his
infamous estate, Monticello. Plantation owners
impregnating enslaved women wasn't unusual back then, which is so sad, right. Oh my God. To high society it was
kind of like a secret that people just did not talk about. It was just something that
they kept behind closed doors. Death to all of them, the people who were raping the women. Well, I mean, those doors were blown
wide open when Thomas ran for president against John Adams. Thomas Jefferson was John
Adams' vice president. And even though the two were
like best friends at one point, competition really turned them against each other, naturally. During the presidential race, all the salacious articles
started coming out, you know, saying that Thomas was keeping a sex slave named Sally
Hemmings in his home and was even having children with her. Gasp. I know. Which really just goes to
show you that even then, the media was nasty, geez. It's so annoying, ain't it? Anyways, it did some serious
damage to Thomas' reputation, but eventually people, as they do, they got over it. I mean, this was the man who wrote the Declaration of Independence at the age of 33, you know. And everyone's like, "Dude, give him a break." In 1800, Thomas went on
to win the presidency, and four years later he
won reelection as well. Thomas and Sally's relationship
lasted almost 40 years until Thomas died on July 4th, 1826, which is kind of silly, huh? I mean, yeah, he died on the day the
Declaration of Independence was adopted and on the same
day his political rival, John Adams, died. Wow, what a story huh? I guess on his deathbed, Thomas asked if he outlived Adams? After they confirmed that he did, Thomas then passed away a few hours later. That is petty.
(Bailey clicking fingers) I love it though, that's funny. Thomas went on to be known as one of the most beloved presidents in history. I mean, he reduced the national debt. He founded the University of Virginia. There are countless memorials and schools across the
world built in honor of him, which we love education
and many things he did for the country, you know, but there doesn't really seem to be proper acknowledgement
about his history with the Hemmings family out there. And, you know, you would think that would change. The final Founding Father in our deep dive is Mr. Benjamin Franklin. Now, compared to Washington and Jefferson, Benjamin was a much more mature, older man, you know. I mean, he was 70 years old when the Declaration of
Independence was written, which essentially for
that time was ancient. I'm, I'm not saying it's ancient, I'm saying for that time it was, okay. Listen, you got it? Good. So we're taught in school that in 1752, Benjamin went outside during
a storm and flew a kite with a key attached to it. Then it got struck by
lightning and, ta-da, he discovered electricity. But the problem is that story and just like the George
Washington with the cherry tree, it's made up. (Bailey groaning) It's a lie. Everything's a lie. First of all, if this experiment played out how it's told in history class, researchers agree that
Benjamin would have been toast. Yeah. Second of all, he didn't discover electricity. It was a well-known
thing by the mid-1700s. Now, Benjamin did help
Thomas write the declaration and he was important in the
creation of the Constitution, but he was also a writer, a businessman, a scientist, an inventor, a diplomat, a politician, and a philosopher. Talk about doing it all, huh? But really, I was like, okay, but what was he like as a person? You know, I wanted to know. So Benjamin was born in
Boston on January 17th, 1706. And here's the crazy thing about that, his birth was just 14 years
after the Salem Witch Trials. So America was still kind of at this really interesting place. You know, one would call it a
really safe place for women. I'm twitching. But now, Benjamin's dad was a soap maker, a candle maker, and a certified baby maker. He had seven kids with his first wife and 10 kids with his second wife. So Benjamin was baby number 15. That's a lot. From an early age, he learned that having a quick wit and hot takes was the
best way to stand out. Ben left school early and
like George Washington, he pretty much taught
himself everything he knew. When he was only 12 years old, he went to work for his older brother in a newspaper print shop in Boston, and this experience
working for a newspaper had a really big impact on young Benjamin. One, he learned the printing business, and two, Benjamin had a gift for writing. In fact, while working at the paper, he asked his brother to
publish some of his work, but his brother did what all
supportive older brothers do, and told him, "No, you're not gonna do that. "That's not gonna happen, "okay, beat it." Then one day in 1722, letters started showing up
at the newspaper offices. They were slipped under the
door in the middle of the night, and the author was a widow who went by the name Miss Silence Dogood. Benjamin's brother published these letters and his Boston readers were
absolutely obsessed with it. They were living. The letters were entertaining, but also had spicy commentary
about citizens' rights, like freedom of speech, and it also poked fun
at society in general. Long story short, these were words from
a smart troublemaker. It was satire at its finest. Now, single men out there
thought Miss Dogood was so witty and charming that they started
sending marriage proposals to the newspaper. I mean, Miss Dogood put
out 14 letters in total. It was popular. People loved it. But what they didn't know was that this middle-aged woman
writing these smart letters, Miss Dogood, she was actually
16-year-old Ben Franklin. (Bailey laughing)
Catfished. Yeah. And when his brother found out, (Bailey exclaiming) he was and immediately stopped
publishing the letters. This secured Benjamin's
reputation as a guy who wasn't scared to piss
off authority figures and challenge the establishment. Not long after this, Benjamin said, "Hey, fuck it. I'm out," and left his job working for his brother. He moved to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in 1723. Philly became Benjamin's home
base for the rest of his life. And over the next 30 years or so, I mean, he was just a busy man across the board. In the love department, he hooked up with his landlord's daughter. Whatever, no big deal. And eventually he ended up marrying her. But in a surprising twist, Benjamin had a son named, William. And it turns out it wasn't with his wife. To this day, I mean, no one really knows
who the mother was and, yeah,
(Bailey laughing) and Benjamin and William, they would go on to have
serious bad blood between them. In the business department, Benjamin was doing well, okay. He was killing the game. He became like the official
printer of Pennsylvania, and he bought and published
a newspaper called the "Pennsylvania Gazette". It became the most widely
read paper in the colonies. Now, this gave Benjamin
a platform to really lean into the whole clever
disruptor identity, you know. Eventually, Benjamin became
the richest guy in Pennsylvania after putting out a series
of successful books called, "Poor Richard's Almanac". Now, these books had everything. I mean, weather predictions, poems, puzzles, household hacks, and even astrology. (Bailey exclaiming)
Sounds fun, huh. Now, once again, he was writing under a fake name. He was using the name Richard Saunders, and he published a new edition
of this book every year and he did so for 25 years. And the colonists, they just loved it. They ate this up. He sold about 10,000 copies a year. It may not sound like a lot now, but like back then, that was a shit ton, okay. That was a lot. So as Benjamin's status rose, so did his reputation and influence. But some people thought,
(Bailey humming in thought) that Benjamin Guy, he's really full of himself. Another Founding Father, John Adams, thought Benjamin
was just a clever bullshitter who hogged the spotlight. Oh my God, you guys, get over it. He's a good writer and people like him. Adam's once said, Benjamin's, quote, "Whole life has
been one continued insult "to good manners and decency." I know, a very old timey burn isn't it? Bring it back. But Benjamin didn't care, you know. I mean, he was rubbing elbows with all the elite in early America, and he had friends in high places. Some of these friends ran the
government of Pennsylvania and they appointed him as
the colonies representative to parliament in England. And even in this position, he kept stirring the pot, which was about to bring
America and England a hell of a lot closer to war. (ominous piano music) Today's episode is brought
to you by DoorDash. Okay, I'm talking to you mom's out there, or anyone who's going
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You see, in 1772, the governor of Massachusetts and his right-hand man
sent a bunch of letters to Parliament in England. And I guess in those letters, the governor was talking shit
about his own people, I know, saying that the colonists
don't deserve equal rights with the British, just going on and on and on. And then the governor thought, "Oh, I should have more power "and I should have more
British troops, you know, "to keep the colonists in line." Now, no one knows who leaked
the letters to Benjamin, but what we do know is
that he got a hold of them. (Bailey humming in thought) So Benjamin secretly
sent these letters back to some radicals in America, and it wasn't long before
they were printed in full in a major Boston newspaper. In a matter of days, people organized, took to the streets and they started riots. They wanted the governor removed, and they were getting
even more at the Brits. This whole thing set the
stage for the rioters to go into the Boston Harbor, grab a bunch of tea and
just dump it into the ocean, or maybe you know it as
the Boston Tea Party. Yeah, there was tea involved, or was it tea? (Bailey humming in thought) The British were searching high and low for whoever leaked these
newspapers to the Boston newspaper. And eventually on Christmas day in 1773, Benjamin came forward and said, quote, "Oops! It was me. "I was just trying to help, you guys. "No big deal." Direct quote, I'm sure. Benjamin was called before
a British council for, you know, what he did. Now, they went in on him hard, just yelling at him, disciplining him, making him feel shameful and humiliated, and then they fired him. And that was "The straw that
broke the camel's back." (whip cracking)
You know, honestly, I never understood that saying. Why are you poking a camel with a straw? You know, it doesn't make sense. Benjamin was now officially
ready to take on the British, and just two years later, the Revolutionary War, well, it breaks out, pitting the colonies versus the British. Now, we don't need to
go into the nitty gritty of it all 'cause, you know.
(dramatic instrumental music) But what you should know is, you remember Benjamin's son, William? Well, he was on Team England while Benjamin was on Team America. So after the war broke out, William stayed loyal to the British King, while Benjamin was off
helping Thomas Jefferson put together the
Declaration of Independence. And William was arrested
by American soldiers and held as a political prisoner. He would end up spending years in jail, including eight months
in solitary confinement. And at any point, Benjamin could have used his
influence to free his son, but he didn't. He's like, "Nah."
(Bailey groaning) (Bailey chuckling) It's very Stalin, you know. But Benjamin could be stubborn and petty just like these other men. This father, son relationship, it never recovered. And during his final years on Earth, Benjamin became America's
first ambassador to France. And while he was there, he became a celebrity and a fashion icon. Okay. You know, sure. And girl, I mean, he really leaned into it. He loved the attention. His outfits were understated, but he wore like a super big fur hat and it became like his trademark. I love it. And created this idea that
Americans were rustic, but intellectual frontiers men, you know. That's what the fur hat was giving. Yeah. French woman even mimicked
the look with oversized wigs in a style they called
hairdo a la Franklin. That's funny, actually. They wanted to look like him. Odd choice, but okay ladies, Benjamin died on April 17th, 1790. He also died rich. Historians aren't exactly
sure what his net worth was, but they all agree it was in the tens of millions of dollars.
(cash register chiming) Did he bury it somewhere? And I guess he ended up
leaving most of his estate and money to his daughter. Her name was Sarah. And obviously, he didn't leave
William much of anything. He's like, "Nah, "you're good, bro." Benjamin even left two
grand to the city of Philly and another two grand
to the city of Boston. Now, a lot of people swear
Benjamin was a president. I thought so too and it
turns out that he wasn't. He wasn't a president, duh. It's giving very Mandela effect, isn't it? (Bailey chuckling) Or maybe it's just because
I just didn't know, really, okay. So yeah, Benjamin was not president. If you learn anything new, that's what you're gonna learn today. To be fair, he had presidential-level recognition, and even to this day, because it's him and not George or Thomas on the fricking hundred dollar bill. "Boom, I'm on the hundred."
(Bailey exclaiming) And the last thing I'll mention summarizes
Benjamin perfectly. He was a fan of what he called air baths. Instead of actually washing himself, he instead would take off his clothes, get completely naked, and just sit right in front
of his first floor window and he would just air it out, just air everything out, and he believed that it
was good for his health. And speaking of airing it all out, that's kind of like the point
of this whole episode, right, just getting to know each other
a little bit more, you know. So look, we can all agree that it's important to remember the past and honor history when appropriate, but, you know, it becomes a real slippery slope when we build the Founding
Fathers up as Gods. Because when we do that, people start worshiping them, and then it becomes a mortal
sin to disagree with them. And next thing you know, it's starting to feel like
one big patriotic cult. Did these guys have some good ideas, sure. Were they trailblazers, definitely. But they didn't do it alone, right, and they also had some real flaws. They did a lot of shady ass things. Two things can be right at the same time, people, you know. Also, I find it very
interesting that George and Thomas made it onto Mount Rushmore, but Benjamin got no love. Well, whatever, he's on the hundred. He's like.
(Bailey humming braggingly) (Bailey chuckling) Anyways, tune in next week when I really unpack the whole
government these guys set up. It'll be fun. Don't worry. It'll be fun. Come back. It'll be fun. Honestly, I don't really understand it. You know, I don't understand
a lot about the basics of our government, and it feels like they made it complicated on purpose, right. And I think they probably did
so we wouldn't understand it and know what that the fuck is going on. Anyways, I'm talking
about the dark history of the branches of government, but it's gonna be cute. Don't worry.
(Bailey chuckling) Sounds boring, but it's
gonna be cute okay. Anywho, don't forget to
join me over on my YouTube where you can watch these episodes on Thursday after the podcast airs. And while you're there, don't forget to check out my
"Murder, Mystery and Makeup". "Dark History" is an Audioboom original. This podcast is executive
produced by Bailey Sarian, hi, Dunia McNeily from 3 Arts, Kevin Grosch and Matt
Enlow from Made In Network. A big thank you to our writers, Joey Scavuzzo, Katie Burris, Allyson Philobos and me, Bailey Sarian. Writers assistant, Kasey Colton. Production lead, Brian Jaggers. Research provided by the "Dark
History" Researcher Team. I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. Okay. Wow.
(Bailey exclaiming) (Bailey exhaling)
That was long. So now it's time for our pop quiz. Were you listening? Do you know the answers, we'll see. Which Founding Father was
known for being a foodie and brought mac and
cheese to the White House? (timer ticking) You have an answer? Well, if you guessed Thomas Jefferson, you've been paying attention. Gold Star.
(gold star pinging) Thomas lived to eat. He even had his own pasta maker, and without him, we might not have gotten ice
cream in the United States for a very long time. Now, I'd love to hear your
reactions to today's story, so make sure to use #DarkHistory over on social media so I can follow along and see what you're saying. Oh my God, look, we have a comment here. What does it say? Let me read it to you. Fitz said, quote, "I feel like Bailey is
having a real glow up moment. "I mean, she has always
been drop dead gorgeous, "but lately she's been really slaying." Oh my God. That was so nice of you. Thank you so much. It's natural. Bridget Blakemore commented
that I should look into the death of St. Lawrence
for an episode so I did. And apparently, when he
was being burned alive, he shouted, quote, "I'm done on this side. (Bailey laughing)
"Turn me over!", end quote. Honestly, that's really funny, and I would put that
on a shirt, hilarious. Love the idea. Thank you for recommending. We'll get on it. Madi Garth commented that, quote, "Bailey, Joan and Paul "are legit my last
functioning brain cells. "Highlight of my Thursday seeing Bailey." Aw, thanks Madi. Maybe get that looked at, because if these are
your brain cells, then. (Bailey chuckling)
(crows cawing) (upbeat playful music)
I don't know if you're doing all right. Anywho, I hope you have
a great rest of your day, you make good choices. I hope you learned something new, and I'll be talking to you next week. Goodbye.
(eery instrumental music) (eery instrumental music continues)
