The Ramsey Show (July 14, 2023)

foreign live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions broadcasting from the PODS moving in storage Studio it's the Ramsay show where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money I am your host Jade warshaw joined by the incomparable Doctor John deloney doctor I think I'm there's many many more comparable the infamous Dr John deloney how about that it feels good man I like it love it take it all right guys we are talking we're hanging out talking about again your life your money give us a call the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five we'll talk about whatever it is that's going on in your life all right let's go to Marisol in Chicago Illinois what's going on Marisol hi thank you for having me on so with all this commotion going on with student loans as we know there's going to the interest rates will start to hit in September that's right I have seventy thousand dollars in loans I have in my savings account just enough to almost pay them all oh and the problem is that I'm one of those that have been in school for long enough to probably be a surgeon and I'm almost done I'll be done next balls thank god um but I'm paying it cash good for you so I I did not get any more loans my only thing is that about 45 000 of the loans I have to pay off is unsubsidized okay and those rates are quite high and they're fixed yeah they're about majority are about six percent and although I had the money in my savings should I just pay it all off and start over I just well that's gonna be broke let's walk through this because it it may be as drastic as that or it may not let's make sure we've got uh some other things in place before we just jump to taking all the cash as you walk through this can I say one thing real quick and then I'm gonna turn back over to Jade I I can't help myself a comment on this the way you just described that is indicative of how the entire country is dealing with this issue and I is it okay if I just call you out and we're friends we'll still be we'll still be best friends after this that's go ahead the way you described it if I pay all this off I'm gonna feel like I'm broke I know right I want you to know you're broke right now you're broke right now you're broke it feels good but you owe 70 000 yeah okay so I don't want you to feel like it's gonna feel a different kind of broke I get that but I don't want you to pretend in your mind or do some mental gymnastics that like I'm all good here but if I do this and I take care of the thing that I said I was going to take care of that suddenly I'm going to be in the worst financial position you're in a scary position right now as is okay I'll turn over to Jake John such a good point that you just made and Marisol we're not picking on you girl we're talking about the whole world this is basic math if you have seventy thousand dollars minus seventy thousand dollars in debt you have zero dollars you're broke so even if you feel like you have money because you got savings you still broke if you got the debt so basic math session over Marisol back to you um let's go back and see um foundationally if we're in a good position to actually pay off these loans so my first question to you is do you have any other debt besides the student loans no I don't very very good uh my second question to you is regarding your savings this seventy thousand dollars is this all the money in the world that you have this is all I have liquid okay and then the money that's non-liquid how is that invested is it stocks I have money it's stocks on 401K okay how much do you have in the single stocks not much of maybe five thousand so not not much there five thousand well it's significant when we're talking about student loans and savings okay so here's where I'm at with you um the way we teach and you you sound like you're kind of familiar with this um we would pay off all of our debt in baby step two using the debt snowball which for you as your student loans and then quickly after that we would want to get three to six months of expenses saved and that's kind of I want you to know that that's what we're shooting towards if we take this money to pay off your debt okay and in this case I truly believe that you need to pay off this debt I think that you are going to experience a freedom that you've never felt before I think you're going to want to rip your shirt off and run through a Countryside because that's how good it's going to feel to be debt free um and then you've got you know you've got this 5K in stocks you could keep it in there or you could liquidate it and put that into your you know start building up your three to six months fund again um and before you know it you're not gonna have any payments no debt before you know it you're going to have this three to six months built up again and this time the math will actually math for you and you'll actually have money how does that sound logical and scary yes and that is correct that is the correct answer John talk to the scary part it's scary you're going to find yourself you have this artificial cushion that you're that you rest your head on every night which me which is cash in the bank and you pretend I don't have this humongous hole right outside my back back door which is seventy thousand dollars of of student loan debt and also I just want to speak to something that that Jay just said oh I heard it once um at a live event a speaker we go to Live Events all the time and I heard a speaker say something that it's rare that I walk away in something a sentence that is sputtered just lodges itself in my soul almost tattooed itself on my chest and here was the sentence whatever responsibilities you Outsource at some point will be used against you if you Outsource um I'm just never gonna worry I'm just going to have instacart bring my food I'm just gonna have instacart bring my food I'm gonna have instacart bring my food and you don't know where your food comes from at some point covet happens in the grocery store stop and everybody goes whoa what do we do now right in this case I can promise you it's human nature it's human history all of it the government will not wipe away let's say they figure out how to do some gymnastics and they knock these loans away and some other loans away they will come back to you with their handout and say we want ours now whether that's in taking power from you taking autonomy from you demanding votes back demanding higher taxes back this whole idea that they've got to come rescue us is not a rescue it's an roi'd investment on their part because they're going to come back for their piece of Flesh and I want no part of it and again I had six figures in loans Jade had six figures and Loans I promise you I did not know what I was signing and I signed my name on the piece of paper that said if you help me go to college I'll pay you back and it was a matter of selling my house and moving into a residence hall it was a matter of Integrity for me and my wife had said we said we would pay this back even though we were children we didn't know what you're doing we're gonna pay this back and so there's an Integrity Integrity part to this and let's say you pay this all off and next weekend all the loans in America go away I still think you did the right thing and I still think you're gonna walk a two inches taller you're not gonna have seventy thousand dollars in the bank that's for sure no question about that will you be scared absolutely yes but you're gonna be able to breathe you're gonna always be able to know I did the right thing and when someone says the next time the government says you can't you can't you can't you'll be able to go yeah I can come on yes I can I can because I did already that's what I'm talking about go out Marisol pay off these loans and breathe in that good air that free air that's what I'm talking about I love seeing people make the choice to get free this is the Ramsay show 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tour at netsuite.com Ramsay that's netsuite.com Ramsey foreign [Music] hey what's going on guys you're listening to the Ramsey Show I'm Jade warshaw joined by John deloney and uh this show is all about you guys it's all about what you're facing on a day-to-day basis when it comes to your money when it comes to your mental health when it comes to your career and that's what we're discussing on the show it's a call-in show call in the numbers triple eight eight two five five two two five and we'll chop it up with you we'll help you sort it out and figure out what's the next best step for you uh and that being said we've got you know a lot going on in the news right now John with student loans and everything going on like that and um today uh as of hours ago Biden came through and issued yet another um executive order of some sort yeah executive order of sorts yes issuing yet more forgiveness for borrowers which in the past we've been we've been seeing these trickle through you know things for um disabled folks vets people who their school went out of business and you know I'm definitely not mad at that the one that came through today 39 billion dollars of forgiveness for around 804 000 borrowers and so of course everybody's like Jade what does this mean you know is this for everybody is this for me you know what does this mean and I'm like well if you really look at it this is for folks John who signed up for these income driven repayment plans uh you might see it labeled as IDR and you're like what the heck is an IDR plan income driven repayment plans and these are people John who have been paying their student loans for the past 20 25 years because they were told if you make this payment for 20 years and you make x amount of qualifying payments you'll at the end of the road you'll have forgiveness 25 years John wow You'll have forgiveness and then you get there you're sweaty you're tired your body's aching your back is broken and there was nothing and they say nah we changed our mind and now finally these folks are getting their money so hey it's a good day for our parents right if they have student loans for real but here's here's where I'm at and here's for me where I think is just it's just painful these these plans that are for these folks 25 years in they're like finally I'm getting my money these are the same plans John that they want borrowers today to get into because student loan payments are coming up you're gonna start have to start making your payments in October right hey we don't want you guys to have to pay too much you know we don't want you uncomfortable so why don't you jump into one of these income driven repayment plans uh the new one I believe is called the save plan y'all can correct me if I'm wrong they're always changing the acronyms on this but the idea is hey you can jump on the site you're automatically enrolled when payments come back and you can just jump on the site and go ahead and um you can go ahead and submit your own estimate of your income and and we're not we're not going to require any qualifying documents to see if it's right so people just gonna make up a number I make 30 grand and I can pay 15 come on and that'll be good and just kick that just kick that can down the road for 20 25 30 years and at the end you know there'll be a little Buckle of gold at that rainbow except that in in 24 years we're going to have gone through what six presidential transitions come on 12 Senate transitions who knows man and with the data coming out yesterday there was um folks are beginning to talk more and more about the psychological the mental health aspect of owing people money yes and it it is sleep inhibitory it messed up her sleep it messed up your relationships it makes you not want to live makes you don't want to be married it makes all these issues and so what we're saying is I want you to be unwell for 20 years go to the College of your choice and that you feel most impassionate about and study what you want to study and just give us a little bit every month choose to be miserable yeah and not be fully present because you have this hovering over your head this black cloud as the article said hovering over your head and then in 20 25 years if you're lucky we'll take it from you yeah I mean John you you painted a beautiful picture um in an earlier segment there was a caller who had a certain number of students she had seventy thousand dollars of student loan debt and she had seventy thousand dollars of savings and she was feeling some type of way about using the savings to pay off the debts project words were if I pay this off I'm gonna feel like I'm broke yeah and I was like you are bro you are broke and like the picture that you painted I thought was brilliant and I kind of wanted to elaborate that it it really is when when you have the money sitting there to pay these loans guys and you're not paying them it is like you live in this beautiful home right and and it's everything you want it's modern it's it's got all the right surfaces you know what I'm saying it's got It's got the marble countertops but outside right outside your home is a black giant black hole desolation destruction and you just ignore it every day you have to stay in the house you gotta stay in the house you can't go anywhere you can't go outside because but your brain knows it's there your reality yeah your brain knows the reality right that you owe the government this much money and I just for me guys and I know you guys are like Jade wow you don't have to yell about it Jade or you're doing the most Jade and and it's for you the the reason I get mad about this is I care about you I want the best for you I know how that feels I I know how it feels to not be able to sleep at night I know how it feels to have that effect on your marriage the way you work all the decisions that you make are so that you can pay bills that's that's a load of crap man that's for the birds and I don't want that for you the way I feel about this is there are so many things that want you to think that that has the power but that's not true you have the power but some of you guys are so um I can't say that on the radio some of you guys are so intent on being right instead of being happy you'd rather be right that the government owes me this and they're the ones that will take care of this mess and they need to figure it out but I'm trying to give you the answer that's going to make you happy and give you peace and give you freedom and that's you taking back your power you taking back your autonomy right you being able to just financially self-regulate on your own instead of depending on the government instead of depending on credit cards instead of depending on all those other external factors to do what you can do for yourself and I if you don't get nothing else from this understand I want you to be free I know you can be free and I know you have inside of yourself the power to be free period period preach man end of sentence it hit me last night um I had just gotten home from from a long walk by myself and it hit me every single thing in the ecosystem that young people and young adults are growing up in right now and quite honestly older adults too yeah is that you can't you're too um you've got some kind of mental health something or other so you're never going to be able to have a normal relationship a normal job a number or whatever yeah you've you've got some sort of disability you're never going to be enough you owe people money and you are too un unable you will never be able to pay this up because you're weak and you're not strong enough you don't worry we got you we got you and slowly but surely our ability our responsibility our belief in our self and confidence which doesn't come from thinking it comes from doing all that erodes because we begin to Outsource every little bit to the government to this other person to the bank to the local person saying oh you can't do that either let me just Pat you on the head I'll take care of it for you and we are giving away our souls and it was this moment of I I can't be more proud to be a part of a team that just looks at everybody where you whether you're a multi-millionaire or whether you are a single mom with two kids trying to figure out how to breathe that we look you in the eye and we treat you with enough dignity and respect to look you now and say you can too I know that's right and that voice has just been stolen from us it has to the point to where people John they get a little bit angry or they're super angry they get offended almost that we would imply that they can do it on their own that's right it's become almost an insult 100 you should read the comments online it is it's it's not almost it is it's a sense of disempowerment you can't you can't you never will be able to yeah somebody's got a bit come bail you out I'm still haunted by um what the great micro said a couple years ago during covet when he said the great tragedy of covet was we told 300 million Americans hey just go home you're not essential we don't need you we'll just mail checks got to see in a psychological experiment what happens when you have no purpose and you just go home and they just mail checks we all went crazy that's right not the way to health and and it's not the way to well hear the message you are essential in the quest to Freedom you're the secret sauce you can do it this is the Ramsay show [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey Dr John deloney here I'm a huge fan of both meditation and prayer and good mental health includes slowing down gaining control of your thoughts and plugging into something bigger than you and Halo makes it easy to start a daily practice of meditation prayer and finding peace Hollow is the number one Bible app in the world and you can tailor content towards your faith tradition from scripture readings and prayers to meditation and journaling hallow makes it easy to practice prayer meditate and build a deeper more meaningful spiritual life and ReDiscover true peace go to hollow.com Ramsay today to get three months of hallow for free that's hollow.com Ramsay foreign [Music] foreign [Music] you're listening to the Ramsay show we're back again taking your calls Triple eight eight two five five two two five let's go straight to the phone lines we got Ed from Nyc New York City what's going on Ed hey guys how's it going uh thanks for taking my call thank you for calling how can we help yeah so I just graduated uh with a masters I decided to take my first job near home to move in with my parents and save money but the commute is uh pretty tough I don't have much time like outside of work and like commuting uh I don't really want to rent out there it's pretty expensive and uh potentially like renting's a waste of money I'm wondering if I should just kind of like suck it up and continue commuting or run closer to work or even maybe buy a house and what kind of work do you do man uh mechanical engineering aerospace engineering specifically so why why why do your job in the most expensive place in America to live I mean that's where all the engineering jobs are the other options like LA or San Francisco I mean there's other places of course but uh this is also uh kind of a smart company and uh just hoping I can move up fast so except can I throw one wrench in there yeah sure you live with your mom yeah can you afford you live with your mom dude are you making money now that you have your job are you making enough money forget renting for a get buying for just a second forget how you're living are you making enough to live on your own in in the place that you would need to live to be close to work yeah I wouldn't be saving much but yeah okay so what I would suggest is like John very eloquently put getting out of Mama's house and I would find something that you can rent until you're able to buy so when you're renting just to rent and you ain't got no plan and you're just you know then you could say oh I'm just throwing money down the drain but when you have a plan and you're saying no I have an you know an intentional end to this and it's serving a purpose then you're not throwing money down the drain you are being smart is really what that boils down to and here's what it looks like to pull apart these variables here um the reason I asked you if you have to live there you said yes to do the thing I want to do I have to live in one of three of the most expensive places in America to live okay so that that variable is covered so it's off the table I'm not gonna not live in San Francisco Los Angeles or New York so that means you have to own the other variables where am I going to live what's this job in this place going to cost me for you it's going to cost you a couple hours of living at Mom's house and and having to live with your mom and having to commute or it's going to cost you extra money in rent and so it's it's kind of like you want to have all of it work out where I want to work where I want to work and have the money to do whatever it is I want to do it's just not the reality and so just make peace with renting for a season how old are you Ed uh just turned 24. 24. yeah I mean I'll be honest and I'm not gonna lie about this I kind of am a little salty about folks who have a good enough relationship with their parents that they can live at home and save some money for a while because I I wouldn't have been able to do it it would have just been I tried for one month and after one month my dad came in and goes hey I'll pay your your first month's rent and I was like bye Felicia we're gone okay I was gone and so Ed I mean I I think you know you've had this opportunity to stay with your mom save some extra dollars that's great that served you well I do think it's time for you to get out on your own at 24. especially since you do have this job and since you've said yeah I could get I could get a place you know even if you want to get some roommates and you know to make it a little bit cheaper because again when you're renting let's clarify you're kind of camping right this is not renting living in luxury you're trying to save money so I wouldn't say to rent the most expensive place or rent your dream house I'm not saying that I'm saying camp for a while save up the money and then reevaluate because like to John's point you might be like hey to actually buy I might choose to live in a different state I might choose to live somewhere less expensive so take it one step at a time but right now we're renting we're saving we're camping as renters right and that's what I would suggest what do you think I mean so here's where I've seen it in in my world I've seen friends of mine who were on the they were looking for a tenure track Professor job and of course they start with the Ivy League schools they start with the fancier schools and in their particular discipline there's just no jobs open for one year or two years then they find themselves getting an offer at a smaller school that isn't a huge name name in a smaller town and that goes against I'm a city person I went to college in Los Angeles I went to grad school in New York that's just who I am and then a couple years later they're like oh gosh dude I get to sleep and I like I walked to the supermarket and I'm a part of this small community and so it does it when you start putting all the variables on the table what was important for me was to say I want this kind of life and I want to do this kind of work and now I'm going to reverse engineer where I do that not let the geography dictate the life I'm leading if you want to do that that's all good I'm going to live in the I know who people I've Got Friends I will live in New York Until the End of Time cool you're going to live in 400 square feet for 5 000 a month and and and whatever it is that's right that's just life that's the life you chose awesome be happy with it just don't choose a life and then be frustrated buy your own choices that's right that's a good good call out Ed thanks for the call hopefully we were able to give you some direction there um in the meantime let's take a look at Chicago Illinois where we got Natasha on the line what's going on Natasha hi hey happy Friday happy Friday what's going on so my question is for Dr John deloney I hear you guys talk a lot about boundaries and I want to set one with my family and extended family but I'm afraid that they're not going to listen to it what can I do without severing the relationship what's that what are they asking you to do that you don't want to do they are my parents are pressuring me to stop renting because I'm throwing my money away and move into a mobile home claiming that I can save a little bit on the monthly payment I know I love America we're the best please pay off my debt and make no clue I've made it loud and clear I have taken Financial Peace University I know the steps verbatim how old are you and I'm currently stuff too I'm 28 turning 29 in a couple weeks okay I want you to repeat after me okay okay they they do not do not get a vote get a vote I've heard that too the conversation is over there conversations over there so here's the cool thing do you work for them no do you owe them money kinda get that paid off as though it was a foreign country coming for you pay it off ASAP debt it's the last debt on the list oh okay how about this who cares they don't get a vote they can run their and listen they're they're your parents they're supposed to give you their insights and opinions because they know everything everything and you're the one living your life and so when they say you know you're just throwing money away and you should be moving into a trailer park home that's going to depreciate so fast your head will spin off sideways you could say man thank you so much I appreciate that insight hold on you can just leave if somebody chooses to not respect me then I get to choose to not be in their presence if somebody chooses to affirmatively disrespect me to not treat me with dignity even if we degree man I disagree all the time me and Dave disagree about a lot of stuff we just agree disagree but our disagreements especially once behind closed doors are always done with we respect each other because he's a smart guy he knows I'm a smart guy he knows I love people and I love my faith and he does too and so we're on the same team we're just we just disagree with stuff you're not going to treat me with respect then I have a choice that I'm going to walk away and the way I like to say this is if somebody chooses to treat me with disrespect and somebody chooses to take my dignity from me over a simple something as trivial as an opinion or the way I'm choosing to better myself financially then they are choosing to not be in a relationship with me and that is so harsh and it's so hard I want you to practice saying hey I appreciate you guys hey I'm gonna head out what you're leaving yeah I'm gonna head out y'all have a great week guys I love y'all and then just go and just go you've heard what they have to say and as the great uh Bye Felicia Bye Felicia that's all I'm saying this is the Ramsay show [Music] [Music] thank you [Music] [Applause] all right all right you guys are listening to the Ramsay show where we have a conversation about your life your money what's going on in your world I'm Jade warshaw joined by number one best-selling author John deloney how are we doing doing good man uh give us a call the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five and as always I want to remind you if you are a new listener and you are interested in just learning more about what it is that we're talking about on this show we talk about so many different Financial Concepts uh on a daily basis here you might hear us use phrases that you're not quite familiar with you might hear us talk about baby steps and you're not quite sure well what is baby step three what is baby step five um go to ramseysolutions.com and click on that get started button and we're going to help you figure out the next best right step for you on your financial Journey uh and that's going to be based on where you are today we like to meet folks where they're at put the cookies right there look we say put the cookies on the bottom shelf so sometimes John I need to just leave a trailer cookie crumbs on the floor for some of these folks because I want you guys to get it I want you to understand what's going on with your life so go to ramsesolutions.com click that get started button and we're going to help you out wherever you're out that's how that goes all right let's go to Ella in Houston umbrella what's up oh I am trying to think of a way to pay off my credit cards and I need to get some repairs on my house and I was wondering which would be better to refinance for my mortgage company or just go through a loan or a finance company um what's making you feel like in order to do these things you've got to pull it out through different sources of debt or tap into your home equity well I didn't know which way would be better okay let's let's see if we can talk through that a little bit how much credit card debt are we talking about um close to eight thousand dollars okay how much uh for the home you said home repairs yes I mean a lot done um I need a new air conditioner unit okay and my floors need redoing and I'm needing Windows across these are really old and they're not energy efficient okay and they came in all through the house and okay okay so how much are you earning currently or are what's your financial situation um monthly I'm here you said mostly monthly is a little over 3 600 a month okay A little over 3 600 a month how old are you 79. okay and what type of money is this is this coming from retirement is this coming from retirement and pension okay and is it just you yes okay who's telling you you need to do all these aesthetic things coach telling me I know it has to be done I mean my insurance health insurance has already told me I needed to request to lose because um it's Lincoln Eliana need a feeling some parts of their student information because of the week oh I I I don't get me wrong absolutely but when I when I think of if I look at the list let me back out both Jade and I are gonna plead with you I might even beg please don't borrow money not at not at 79 years not ever I don't want you to be beholden to some bank that's going to keep you from sleeping every night I would much rather you figure out a way to pay for this in cash over time air conditioner emergency especially I grew up in Houston I get that's brutal roof replacement especially in a in a community like Houston it will mold and cause a disaster you got to get that fixed yeah but sometimes if all I can afford is a five thousand dollar fix then I'm gonna have them not replace the whole thing have them fix it so I can save up is that is that inconvenient yeah am I going to maybe be redoing some work down the road yeah but I'm gonna put my head on my pillow every night there in that town knowing that nobody owns me so we're gonna recommend you not do that how much cash do you have on hand you have any savings or cash at all um in that Mission not enough generation thousand yeah okay um where does that money go more credit cards and food and gas okay so you're getting you're you're pulling about 3 600 a month to live on um what's your you know your nest egg how much is that if you don't mind me asking there's not much like I said I don't have any no more saved up benefits too probably two thousand no I'm talking about you said you draw some of the money from a pension and I thought you said you draw some money off of retirement yeah I get about 3 600 a month a little bit over 3600 a month and that is that is there a nest egg that that's coming off of yeah how much is how much is in those retirement accounts how much is in my retirement my my um my Social Security it's all like yeah okay oh okay okay so it's Social Security is pension gotcha all right um and I'm guessing you I mean the payments that you get from your pension you can't access that in any other way no got it okay and then two if I don't get my repairs the insurance health insurance will not what that happened with me too I I understand how that happens what's your mortgage payment every month Ella nine nine hundred and ten dollars okay 910 where's the rest of that money going what I'm trying to get at here is I want to make it to where we're paying off this credit card debt it's eight thousand dollars I know that feels like a lot but I think you can get that knocked out pretty quickly if we get you on a budget and if it's the house you know 900 okay that's working for you but what else are you putting money towards besides that that's taking the rest of this 3600 and is there a way that we can start paying off this credit card and then is there a way that we can start looking at these you know repairs in order of importance little by little because AC you know if your AC is going out it's the middle of summer that's top of top of the list right and then some of the other things like painting might be you know last on the list yeah so I think it's a matter of getting these listed in order of importance and finding a solution that fits in your budget because at the end of the day that's all you've got yeah oh I have one more thing that I have to get done um my vehicle I was told that I have to have a new engine because they've already fixed all they can and it's going to cost them six to eight thousand dollars to replace the engine for the labor and the park so in my inspection is due next month and it will pass inspection I would I would get a second opinion on that I sure would on that car okay oh I have I've already got yeah what's the car worth um and so 2012 uh Dodge Caravan I'm not sure just make sure that the repairs aren't worth more than the vehicle itself yeah well they suggested that I just um not repair it and get um get another one because I said put more money into that that's right but that's also easy for them to say because they don't have to sleep at night here's let us just um you know how much you're struggling with those credit card payments you know that scary feeling that you have yeah okay imagine taking a ten thousand dollar roof and a seven thousand dollar air conditioner and putting that on top of that credit card yeah I get that that you're being told by some professionals and maybe some family members that you got to do this and you got to do this and you got to do this but at the end of the day here's what I here's all I can do you got to do what you can afford to do and so I would pause on I would go down to Bare Bones I can only pay for this um I could only pay for my rent I can pay for the Bare Essentials on my food and that's going to be it for a couple of months and I'm gonna meet with a roofer maybe two of them down there in town and see who can take care of this for the quickest and the least expensive and is there a senior citizen discount and if I pay you in cash and we're just gonna get that roof knocked out and it's going to be uncomfortable for three months and that's how we're gonna live we're gonna do the same thing with air conditioner and if you can duct tape and baling wire that thing together so it gets you a little bit of cold air we're gonna do that too maybe get a window unit and just sit in one room or put in your bedroom but we're not gonna borrow money because I don't want you just losing more and more sleep because your body is going to wear that honey okay [Music] we'll see you next time hey what's up guys it's Jade if you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money Journey we have a Weekly Newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsay way just go to ramseysolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter again that's ramseysolutions.com to sign up for our Weekly Newsletter [Music] [Music] live from the headquarters of Ramsay Solutions broadcasting live from the Pod moving and storage Studio it's the Ramsay show where America is hanging out to have a conversation about your life and your money I am your host Jade warshaw joined by Dr John deloney and this hour we're going to be taking calls about you you get to decide what it is that we're going to talk about today are we going to talk about getting on a budget are we going to talk about renting versus buying a house outright are we going to talk about how to get this money saved the show is about you so give us a call Triple eight eight two five five two two five is the number and in the meantime we're gonna go to Sherry in Calgary Canada oh sharing what's going on girl oh nothing much I kind of had uh I hope you guys are doing well today by the way but um Canadian like welcome like you just had to get some niceness in there you're so great well thank you um so I'm gonna kind of a weird situation like I guess more of a question for you John all right Jade but um so I'm a part of a family business and I came back full time from uh University two years ago and I'm struggling setting up boundaries with my dad who is the owner and has been for the last since I was born so 25 years ago and um I'm trying to get my life set up like not only professionally which I think I'm doing a pretty good job but and I don't mean to disrespect him at all but just like telling him that I cannot physically work as much as he can and um like I haven't had a day off and I think over four months wow I'm burning out and I don't know how to tell him like I see I have had these conversations where I I tell him like Hey I can't you know I need a day to just get the house in order and like do laundry and he just doesn't understand that is it just you and him it's pretty much just me and him yeah and I try to give him days off and he's been able to take a vacation in the span of time and he's he's about 60 so I just I feel bad letting him take on all the work all the time and also like I'm trying my best but I just don't know how to deal with this no it's it's absolutely there's a reason there's there's um laws about breaks a human can't work four months in a row without a day off that's that's just Madness and so I think from agriculture so I have like over 200 hours a month exactly um so is it okay if I'm super direct with you we'll still be best friends yeah go ahead all right sure so I want you to put the family business aside I want you to put the um relationship with your dad off to the side for a second and if you called into this show and you said hey I'm working for this supervisor he's a nice guy I've told him what I need I told him that I'm running into the ground that I've worked for four days straight I'm working 200 hours a week running AG I would tell you to quit the job before the day is over because it's going to kill you the thing the reason you're calling is because you know it is killing you you can feel it and you also have this other thing hovering over here which is your relationship with your dad and so yeah the best I have ever seen it in my whole professional career is the way Dave and Rachel and Daniel and Denise the kids handle it here's a couple of the rules and I've seen it in action and as a bystander it can be super uncomfortable When Rachel Cruz asks did you hear what Dave said and I'm asking like is this a test because that's your dad it's your dad at the office all the kids call him Dave they refer to him as Dave I've seen them in meetings get very heated and the conversation is to Dave and to Rachel right and then I've seen him at the house and it's Dad and everybody at the table life separation yes everybody at the table has to agree that we can talk about work for somebody to bring up work there's just a big no no no no no and I've seen it it's incredible right it's here's the deal you're not getting that from your dad like you should so you have to take a time you have to take you have to get back in the driver's seat of your own life and say Dad I no longer work on Sundays period I will not work yeah I'm crashing into the ground I'm not going to answer my phone my phone shuts off Sherry what happens if you do that well it's not just consequences for like our relationship right it's like the business in general and I've tried to bring up maybe because we can afford it we can hire help but he just doesn't like seem to want to trust people he doesn't need to because you keep showing up he doesn't need to hire anybody and you show up right as the great Henry Cloud says your dad needs to get some problems that's so good he needs to get nobody working on Sunday and he'll hire somebody yeah no I totally agree with you it's just um I've tried to do that like um this winter I kind of tried to set up a schedule with everybody and um then I also started interviewing people just kind of without his consent because I'm also like kind of an owner operator now well and not really because you're not getting the salary right yeah you're not getting paid but you want to get paid you're working yeah no I get paid I get paid quite a bit and I think that's successfully negotiate um my way up but it's just kind of um and I do have a lot of decision making power I do all of our marketing I I've definitely made this place grow over the course of two years John and I are not arguing you're about to keep apologizing to the company we know your value like I just don't know how to get him on board with me hiring another job he's a solution he's not going to you've tried you've tried for months and months to reason with him to to educate him he's not getting the message Sherry you're so sweet and you love him and he's your dad you need to give this man some problems I am not working on Sundays and I leave Saturdays at noon that's right I will lead the hiring if you would like me to hire somebody but I don't work on those days because I have to have my life this can't be the rest of your life even if this was the life he chose and you grew up with a dad who worked 200 hours a week and you didn't get to meet him until after you got out of college he works more he has another business but he also runs that's right so I think if she's just seeing me as like oh well you only have one thing to handle so listen listen listen listen he doesn't get a vote into your personal life in your business life you've gone into partnership with him he absolutely gets a vote and I would suggest sitting down and saying dad here's here's my rules I'm gonna call you by your first name here because I'm struggling with these these roles getting crossed I'm I'm it's hard for me to balance them so I'm gonna start calling you Dan at work and I'm gonna call you Dad at home yeah calling me dude actually I am actually at work I'm gonna call you Dan and then at home I'm gonna call you Dad and then Sundays I don't work Saturdays I'm off at noon I will walk out and you have to be courageous and gangster and brave and actually walk out and it will have to be uncomfortable for a couple of times before your dad's like oh just hire somebody then if you're just gonna quit on me all right cool I'll hire somebody and then make it happen that way I think Sherry's a g I think she's gonna she asked her I think she's gonna gangster up and and put dad in his rightful place so she can maintain her relationship a lot yeah this is all in service of I want to still like you as my dad okay and I'm starting to not like you as my dad that's how you do it John laid it out for you this is the Ramsay show foreign [Music] hey guys being free to make your own medical decisions is a big deal these days Christian Healthcare Ministries gives members the freedom to choose the doctors and providers they want without the frustration of worrying about networks and with no waiting period to join it's a membership-based non-profit Ministry where hundreds of thousands of Christians share funds to pay for and pray for each other's medical bills for over 40 years chm has helped families living across all 50 states so cfchm could be right for your family check out more today at chministries.org budget [Music] thank you [Music] [Applause] all right all right all right all right you're listening to the Ramsay show I'm Jade warshaw your host today joined by Dr John deloney your other host for the day taking calls about your life and money you know the number triple eight eight two five five two two five is it all right our question of the day is brought to you by neighborly your hub for Home Services neighborly's Nationwide network of locally owned home service pros like Molly Maid you got shelf Genie you've got Mr Appliance these guys take the stress out of home repairs maintenance and improvements visit neighborly.com to schedule a service today I think I need to holler at all of those people I do too all right today's question comes from Charlotte in Tennessee Oh Charlotte just cuts right to it what is the downside to purchasing something with zero percent interest what's the downside question um to go back to a little thing it is a proverb and it says the borrower is indeed slave to the lender but so I'm gonna play Devil's Advocate but it's there's that borrowing doesn't cost me anything well it does cost you you're not paying anything additional so let's say okay let's say we have a vehicle it's twenty thousand dollars and you finance it right zero percent so you're not paying you're still paying payments you're not paying anything additionally but you still said hey I'm gonna pay you x amount of dollars for the next five years for this car so you're still adding a layer of risk to your life you're a slave to that lender because it's like hey I'm on the hook to pay this money if anything should happen in my life if I lose my job if I don't know Mama decides she wants to stay at home now and be a stay-at-home mom and we go down to a one income family and now I'm feeling the stress of that we're still there's still this idea John that if we can't pay cash for something we can't afford it period if you're asking how much a month instead of asking how much then you're do you see what I'm saying you're borrowing at that point so so even though um theoretically yeah if you are if you were going to borrow money which I think is a horrible idea and yeah if you a lower interest rate is better than a higher interest rate and a zero interest rate is better than interest but you're still borrowing money to that end I'd be like hey just pay it off and the average car loan is between five and seven years now right they've kicked it out just for context six years ago was two states and three jobs for me away that I did not know existed wow yeah two states and three jobs away and so to say I'm gonna sign I'm gonna chain myself to something even though it's not going to be a chain and a slap in the face it's just gonna be a chain and for the next five to seven years I'm I'm confident enough in our government I'm confident enough in my boss who I don't like I'm confident enough in the market that I'm watching fail right in front of whatever whatever you do yeah I'll be okay I'll be able to make these payments that's such a good point you're just telling yourself and dude I live a thousand miles from where I would have signed that note for God's sake and so the idea that it's just your life is going to be static that your kids are not going to need braces that whatever is going to happen and listen I get it because I've been you listening if you guys who are listening watching I've been you going yeah but that happens to other people Jade and I and Dave and Rachel George none of us would have a job if everybody's plans always worked out we would have this building wouldn't keep us in business John I'm saying that everybody's got as the great Mike Tyson said everyone has a plan until you get hit in the mouth and everybody gets hit in the mouth and so don't set yourself up don't chain yourself to something hoping that your world is static seven years from now if you can't pay for pay for it in cash you cannot afford it you can't afford it and that's okay that is okay that's okay you know you make such a good point John we always project it's like when we project the future it's always perfect I'll be in this job and I'll be making this money and the kids will be healthy and everybody will be perfect and it's like no day I wish that was the case we do it worse Jade we one up we go and I'm gonna be getting five percent raises every year so in six years I'm gonna be making this much and then I'll be which is even more ridiculous then to keep the day because it's like look if you know you're making money go ahead and pay that joker off that's all I'm saying okay I think we basically drilled that one into the ground I want you to be free that's all I'm saying the a borrower a slave to the lender if you don't ask how much a month simply ask how much and pay in cash that's even better I've learned a story just say I'm gonna I'm gonna give you this much can I give you this much for that car can I give you this much for that thing and man that that changes the conversation a lot I like it I like it all right let's move on let's go to Kelly in Philadelphia look we were both there hey the playground is where she spent most of her days what's up Kelly hey guys how are you good um very similar to the storyline that you were going around around uh with getting punched in them in the face um definitely living in that right now oh I'm sorry what happened so I made an assumption about a situation um needless to say the back story is I um I got debt free about five years ago um started saving up really uh heavily for a house that was always my dream to be able to buy something of my own um ended up in a relationship about three years ago and at that time I was still living at my parents house and we went for it we decided that you know I had enough money saved I was gonna put down money on a house and we can move into it and have our future um you know home for for the long term um needless to say uh that relationship ended um so now I have a house that's probably at the top tier of my budget um that I am struggling to decide what to do with now so I love the community I'm in I I love my neighborhood I feel like this is the one thing that is now consistent in my life versus all the other changes that I'm going through um but I'm making about two thousand dollars more than or sorry two hundred dollars more um than what my expenses are per month so I'm trying to decide if this house that I have an extra room in would it make sense to have a roommate and try to you know get back to um you know being able to pay towards this a little bit faster than I am currently and I'm gonna let John I'm going to let John talk to you about what I think is deeper than the money issue here if but hear me when I say if you only have two hundred dollars a margin this house is too expensive um having a roommate is a good idea but I would only enter into a situation like that when you know you can make the payment regardless of a roommate and the roommate is just icing on top so you need to think about a way to get out of this home and John's going to tell you why yeah except I'm gonna put a caveat on it um okay this is how long ago is this breakup it sounds like it is still right there at the top of your heart um it um okay so you're still living I'm budgeting now like what does my future look like obviously this was on the back burner for the first few weeks of trying to you know yeah just breathing yeah so but you know I'm trying to be smart about my next steps and yes so you worked right um somebody who is very important to me a mentor of mine the guy who who trained me on crisis response actually the guy that gave me the phrase facts of your friends Dr Young he gave me some personal wisdom when I had a personal tragedy several years ago that was very that has proven to be wise not only in my life but in the life of people I've sit with when things get sideways and that is if at all possible do not make a giant decision for at least six months after something wild has happened in your life and so I can imagine you having memories in this home with this boyfriend about you you made plans in this house and I bet you'd walked by a room and thought that was going to be the nursery like you've made plans in this house and so the Temptation I completely understand would be to run from this thing and if you think you can sell this house and be done awesome um and just and just clear your hands of it great but also sounds like you're connected to this place in something a little bit different so let's do this I want you to hang on the line we're gonna go to a break and then we're going to bring you back right when the break's over we're going to talk this through all the way I'm gonna give you a couple of options I think that might be helpful for you okay thank you so much you got it hang on the line and we'll be right back here on the Ramsey Show [Music] thank you [Music] it's a competitive home buying Market but there's a way you can get an edge Churchill Mortgage works with you to understand your budget and your goals and the Churchill Mortgage home buyer Edge offers you fast pre-approval and a secured interest rate plus Churchill has bumped up their seller guarantee to ten thousand dollars giving your offer the best chance of being accepted and helping you win in today's market go to churchillmortgage.com today to learn more [Music] foreign [Music] what's going on everybody you are listening to the Ramsay show a show about life and money and getting it all together and making it look right because some of y'all situation is not looking right and you need help that's cool we're all trying to do better give us a call the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five and we're going to try to help you John is a mental health expert and they call me John a money expert I got it hey you're an expert at teaching people how to do the right thing oh that's right that's right and so hey at the last right for last break we were talking to Kelly who was out in Philadelphia and she had a dream she bought a house she saved up a lot of money she was she moved in with her boyfriend her boyfriend moved in her house and they had dreams and plans and then they broke up and now she's looking at the budget like the smoke is starting to clear on the reality he's moved out he's gone and after all bills are covered she's got two 100 bills left oh that's right and she is feeling the pinch did I get that right Kelly that is very close to yeah okay correct yeah so here's sitting close to him literally and there's it sounds almost surreal to hear somebody else just rattle off your life right yeah and I haven't really verbalized it so even just hearing somebody else telling me about it it's a little surreal for sure so if you could if you put your house on the market today in the area where you live would would it sell pretty quick yes okay so I think that's an option to consider and one thing you mentioned that I think we discount a lot in our culture is community is I like I've got friends I've got neighbors I've got people who will show up at 2 am if I need them you it sounds like you have that in your community I do yeah okay if people say like I really love the area because it's got a pool and like it's close to a Publix I could care less if somebody says like no I got some ride or dies in this community that that means something to me that means something to me so I might reach out if I if you were my sister I would say hey call a couple of friends and see if you could have a roommate by the end of the month by next month if you could have somebody move in and just say this is for six months while the Smoke Clears on this thing and you may hear me crying in my room at night sometimes and that's okay um do you think that would be possible it's gonna be weird and annoying but is that possible possible okay that's definitely possible how do you feel if you had a roommate it was paying you 1500 bucks or a thousand bucks or whatever to give you a little bit of of Gap room there how does that feel I'm not too proud to do that I thought you were gonna say I Ain't Too Proud to Beg and I was about to high-five you through the phone um so you're not I would I would go as far as to not even say I'm Too Proud to do that I would say no I get to I get to help somebody out in a in a wild rental market and I get to sleep at night for a season um and then the other question you're gonna have to ask yourself for the next five to six months while this person's living there is do you like having a roommate is this a long-term thing and Jade brought up a really important point I'm always nervous for someone to have a house payment that they can't afford unless they have a renter and so it may be I need to start looking at different work it may be that I need to start looking at can I take on a second job and get this mortgage down and then refinance it how can I change my financial situation before I just run off and haul off and sell this house um what's your what's your monthly payment on this place um it's just over 1600. just over 1600 you couldn't even rent a place for that out there could you no yeah that's where I'm like in this weird yeah dilemma I would get I would grab a roommate until I could just because you think the fog is clearing now it's probably going to be a couple more months at least okay hey what's your what's your monthly take-home pay uh it's 3 100. okay yeah um what do you do for a living Kelly are you still there just cut out sorry I work for an insurance company how much do you make a year uh it's just about 68 000. okay are you yeah this is this is definitely tight um I I mean I'm with John definitely on the emotional side of things holding off and just letting the Smoke Clear but I do want you getting into a situation where you're the one that's able to afford this house even without a roommate having a roommate's great like that's you know income or whatnot but you're not gonna feel calm until you know that you can afford this even without the renter do you see what I'm saying yeah yeah I do have I do have ten thousand dollars saved as like my emergency phone some relief on that end but I definitely feel like I need to start making a decision so that yeah because your emergency fund is not mine yeah because your emergency fund is not there to float you you know month to month it's there for exactly you know and you get that so so maybe get a roommate for six months or a year and sock that money away um just just keep that cash for if you're gonna end up transitioning out or transitioning moving whatever comes up um and then maybe over the next two or three months I think you'll find some peace there and um I think some clarity emerges if you can just hold on during this storm here but yeah 200 bucks extra month man that's that's any number of things cost more than 200 but I'm trying to think of the electrical issue I've got that's thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars so um yeah that's really really tight thanks for the call Kelly that's that's a tough situation but I think that you've got the tools to navigate that from here on out uh John let's take another call let's let's talk to Christopher oh he's from your neck of the woods Fort Worth he's from the right side eight one seven what's up Christopher oh what's going on I'm just trying to get my wife on the same page and you know figure out that our finances are are as bad as I'm thinking they are because I'm always going to sleep over it basically here we're going paycheck to paycheck my wife's having to you know do the little pay advances through work to get to the next week so stuff gets paid yeah then we've got you know small credit card debts or the rent to owns and so go ahead John say what what turn the light on for you I just I mean just even though that we're both making I mean significantly you know we're making around you know 70 80 000 a year so we're bringing home four or five thousand dollars a month but yeah but you're renting to own bro you're you're either propping up a lifestyle that's not real or you are baroque I mean yeah I mean like Rent to Own Furniture rent to own but you appliances why are you guys why do you guys keep choosing that um my screen I'm just going to tell you what my screen says my screen says how do I get my wife to take our finances seriously but yeah and that's the biggest thing right there because everything that I've suggested as far as ways that we can cut around the budget something always gets shot down this is not about cutting around the budget this is about changing your entire life you're talking to somebody in Jade who slept on an air mattress for years you're talking about me who for our 20th anniversary my wife said hey we've had a headboard that you bought off Craigslist and spray painted could we get a real bed 20 years and listen brother Dave Ramsey pays us real real well so like Rent to Own Furniture I can't it can't even wrap my head around how insane that is insanity that that what that tells me is you guys are that my what my dad used to say trying to keep up with the Joneses if you're renting to Own Furniture because you want you feel like you should have a certain look and a certain this you guys need to kiss that goodbye and and get real with what you earn what that looks like monthly and the lifestyle that you can actually afford and as it relates to your wife you know I I'll be honest marriage it's a two-way street you know both folks are on it so it's not like unless she went to the rental rent to own place without you unless she said and decided on her own I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do that it's both of you guys you're if she's doing it you're allowing it so it's both of you guys contributing to this mess and it's going to take both of you guys to get on the same page and to really sit down and say are we going to be adults or are we going to be kids almost every time Chris a guy calls me with this they're some sort of schemer they've had some sort of plan and then I got another plan and then then five years or ten years into the relationship it's like oh I got this other plan to get this job I'm gonna flip houses is that you no no okay we're basically it's you know we were making you know pretty much minimum wage jobs barely making it and then as we were I thought I guess almost thought we were making more so we wound up I guess getting into the Trap of spin yeah y'all started spinning you just quit saying no so listen I want you to take your wife out for breakfast and say the following honey I'm scared to death about our money would you make a budget with me would you help me be intentional about our money so that we can change our family tree hang on the line we're going to send you Financial Peace University I want you all to watch those classes together and change your life [Applause] [Music] thank you [Music] [Applause] [Music] what's going on everybody you are listening to the Ramsay show I'm your host Jade warshaw joined by John deloney give us a call the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five and we will do our best to answer your question or put you on the right track uh let's take a call let's go to Cheney in Waco Texas what's going on Cheney yeah hey how are you I'm doing good um so I'm just to it my husband my husband on baby steps four five and six and we have five kids so we're trying to figure out the 529 situation um I'm getting nervous oh don't be nervous um so our we had our kids are seven five three two and one oh girl and our youngest yeah right now very good they're not too loud um but uh our youngest two have college taken care of we adopted them so um that's part of their Adoption Subsidy okay but um our oldest three we don't have anything set up for them yet okay we have about three to four hundred dollars a month um to put towards that that's great question is should we have three separate 529s um or just one big one should we do five for all of them just in case or that's such a good question um with 529s of course I always you know would suggest that you get with a Ramsay trusted uh professional on that that can help you with the investment side of it um because they're going to help you decide how to divvy up that money whether you should focus on you know one kid first that being the oldest or you know they're gonna help you sort through that that being said and they're going to help you select the right one because they're State specific right and you can choose you don't have to necessarily choose the state that you live in you can choose another State's 529 that might have better options for you so definitely work with a Ramsay trusted professional on that but as far as the idea of do you need just one account or open one for all of them um off the top of my head I would I would probably open one for all of them for a couple of reasons um one being like the beneficiary situation I think that it's simpler because once that money is in there it's designated for that child now some of them depending on the state you can use them for different siblings on down the line but um just to keep it clean I'd probably do separate 529s for each of them John do you have anything to add to that yeah there's also some tax advantages and so depending on what states you live in they may allow X number thousands of dollar deduction based on a 529 plan and if you have three kids in one plan you're gonna get a single deduction if you have three plans you get to deduct that each time Ah that's a very good point so yeah I I would just for cleanliness and then the final thing in and you know I'm gonna have to go all dark and sad here but if something were to happen to you and your husband and you have these existing plans and there's just one lump sum you're gonna have to expect your custodian to properly delineate this and make decisions on this versus this and we want to support this kid who was the first kid in college and they got into Stanford and then the other kid you see what I'm saying it just gets messy if you have them delineated out there's no confusion there if me as an executor if I show up to take care of your kids and your absence I'm able to go okay here's account for this kid here's account for this kid here's to come for this kid and that's I just it like Jane said I mean Jade said it just makes it clean and I think I think that makes it simple what do you think thank you guys so much yeah that sounds mowing over this about a month so yeah and by the way there can be a analysis by a paralysis by analysis just open them up and get rolling you're good yeah really good at that paralysis awesome thanks for the call Chaney we appreciate you very very cool that's good stuff John um things to think about in baby step five baby step five is funding kids college and we do suggest you know 529 plans um esa's can work and you know in the baby steps we don't say a specific amount you know a lot of times we'll say hey save three to six months or invest fifteen percent of your income but when it comes to kids college we're pretty uh open about what you decide to do or decide what you don't want to put into that you might be the type that's like hey my kids are going to get a job and get scholarships and they're going to work through school and we're only gonna you know fund this little bit so it's up to you decide what you want to do with that but I think that's important and here's here's the key you have to be honest and open with your kid probably when they're a freshman in high school that's right there's going to be fifty thousand dollars in this account you can go to Community College locally for free and then you can go to any state college you want to in the United States for that 50 000 for the back half or you can go to the state school and use 25 of it and then 25 of it for grad school whatever but there's gonna be 50 in that account oh there's gonna be 10 in that account period or there's gonna be two hundred thousand dollars in this like whatever yes but it's a parent's job even when it feels shameful when it even when it feels embarrassing to sit down with your kid really early in the process oh yeah here is the situation when it comes to college I think that is the that is the determining factor in all of this because so many kids they get you know they turn 18 and it's like they've got this idea in their mind of where they want to go right and they they're the ones that start talking about it first and then the parents are like oh you know she says she wants to go to Emory that's expensive and then instead of them ex because they never mentioned payment before now you turn to student loans and that's how you go start going down that crazy train of student loans so having that conversation look John my parents said to all of us there's four of us um I have two brothers and a sister and my parents were like y'all better be really smart or really great athletes because y'all ain't getting any money but hey they told you on the front end they told us on the front end if you want to know what I did I played like three different sports and I tried to figure out which one I can master I got a volleyball scholarship and I was like I gotta turn it I gotta figure out how to do math so I can get an academic scholarship and I did and um you know it would have been great to be one of those people that's got a college fund and money set up for you but the key here is everybody's not going to be in that situation and even if you do have a college fund if it's only ten thousand dollars so what you're saying is really the solution here it's just have these conversations with your kids let them know what the expectation is let them know what you can and cannot do and it's as simple as that I love that I love it cool cool you think we can take another call let's go for it do it real quick come on Mr o'clock brother what's up thanks for taking my call I'm struggling if I should sell my rental property in Orange County and uh I've owned it for 44 years uh I recently wound up with some noisy neighbors upstairs it's a get a little more difficult to rent out and uh it's getting tougher to find uh good tenants I'm 75. is this your only is it is it completely paid for yes right oh yes do you have any other debt no no debts at all so if you sold this it would just be because I'm tired of fooling with it it's getting harder and harder to rent maybe I can do something better pretty much it yeah yeah I mean with the profit I'm just gonna probably put it in t bills or something like that you know dude you are I can hear it in your voice and this is a good thing you're done being a landlord yeah you've got 20 years left to ride off into the sunset without dealing with idiots messing up the plumbing or whatever yeah it's time and be honest Bill Neil you got you got money you got some money laying around okay yeah I could hear it in your voice treat it like it'll oh I was gonna say I was gonna say Something's Gonna Get me canceled um I would like because that's been a part of your life you almost have a relationship with this place right yeah that's right then that's the problem yeah it is the problem but also it's it's just an apartment so I would not sell it I would sell it tomorrow and I would take that cash yes and I'd put it in some sort of retirement vehicle all right you know what I do I'd actually spend some of it too brother go have some fun I love that sounds good thank you and then next month when uh you have no nothing to go fix or no repair man to call you can just smile real big and then check your account balance and and and and and and smile even bigger that's right I love it what you think Neil sounds like a plan sounds like a plan congratulations man I love calls like that John Neil that's the business Neil set up a 44 years man I asked him same property look I oh I was treading lightly because I'm like after 44 years you better dab gum well on this house thank goodness he did I could tell that he did but um I love those I love those kind of calls where it's like hey I basically got wealth sitting right here what can I do with it there's no bat there's no wrong answer but you're right he was just tired of fooling with the renting game well and it's okay listen America listen to me carefully it's okay to change your mind you can not want anything to do with real estate and then be all in on real estate and then I don't want to be a landlord anymore you get to do that because that because America change your mind it's not a sign of weakness it's a sign of strength good for you I love that all right guys that does it for today's show we'll see you next time [Music] hey it's Dr John deloney if you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money Journey we have a Weekly Newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsay way just go to ramseysolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter again that's ramsesolutions.com to sign up for our Weekly Newsletter [Music] thank you [Music] live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions and broadcasting from the PODS moving and storage Studio it's the Ramsay show where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money I am your host Jade warshaw conveniently joined by co-host Dr John deloney and we are taking calls about your life your money we are here all afternoon you guys can call in the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five so if you are at home and you got the YouTube on and you're vacuuming you can call if you're listening first out you know call us in if you're like man I've always listened to that show but I don't know if they'll take my call call you never know you might get through um if you're listening on podcast write down the number and then you know next time you know when it's time give us a call we want to chat about the things that are important to you we want to help you sort out your life and your money and by the way if you are a person that's listening thank you for listening you guys are what keep us you keep us running as the Doobie Brothers said and we are so grateful for you listening whether it's on the podcast app Spotify Apple wherever you listen thank you and do us one more do a favor and share the show if you can share it with a buddy of yours you can text them your favorite episode but when you do that it's good for all of us it makes this show become more apparent in people's feed you know what I'm saying it pops pumps it up in the algorithm so they see it and more people can get this news of Hope and freedom and we want that so go ahead and share it while you're there go ahead and like it subscribe it that would be very very good because you know John we don't we're not out here spending these uh these advertising dollars like like some of these folks are and uh you guys y'all did it y'all are the ones that shared it so thank you for that all right let's go to the phone lines I think I'm ready to do that we've got Val from Edmonton Canada oh Lord what's going on in Edmonton Val oh my gosh I'm so excited I'm so nervous I'm so glad you guys took my calls I appreciate it Val you were okay hey Val you are the second Canadian to call to start the show with such kindness and positivity thank you for injecting joy into this wild world we live in the biggest lesson I've learned is unfortunately um well fortunately I've been listening to this Dave Ramsey Show for a very long time and at the beginning I didn't really you know I listened to it because I applied that I'm the type of person that will not sleep overnight because I owe money or I'm in debt and unfortunately my ex-husband didn't feel that way but the good news is when I start listening to Dave Ramsey there were so many uh red flags saying we're not doing that we're not doing that I am but he's not but we're not then virtually unfortunately um almost ended up on the street because of his gambling and um but when I tried to implement all of these things it was very appealing for me even though very painful um that I realized we're not on the same page at all and nor were we gonna be and he would just you know keep gambling keep you know almost lost my mind and almost lost my home and so on and so forth so if nothing else please everybody that's listening um it's painful but you have to do it because at the end of the day it's going to happen anyways so at least you're going to be prepared um the other thing I want to ask I'm 68 years old and I've taken menial jobs which I never think through menial jobs but not what I usually do in my life I've always worked with non-profit for low-income seniors or you know kids or whatever and I'm just wondering at the stage of the game that I have a very hard time finding a job I have to take cleaning jobs or retail job things that are a little bit harder for me but I guess the question I guess I really want to know how do I get to live comfortably I know I've downsized everything apartment I can't find apartments too expensive and you know jobs are very you know they don't want to hire you because your job so I guess there are times where I think well how do I go about that like so right now you're feeling so the word I heard was how do I live comfortably so right now it feels like you're living paycheck to paycheck yeah feels like you don't have money to do the things that you want to do and maybe even some of the things that you need to do is that what I'm hearing yes and I think the biggest thing that I'm questioning is how did I get here so quickly when I've worked hard all my life two jobs I worked 80 hours a week to pay off Revenue Canada because I got done with that well my guess is my guess is you know sometimes we find ourselves in situations and it's like man how did I get here it may have been some choices that were made that got you there whether by you directly or for the by the people that you know affect your life it sounds like your husband has played a major part in the state of your finances at this point so right now can I get just a quick picture of what things look like tell me what your um what you're bringing home every month after taxes and then I kind of want to get a picture of what if there's debt if there's savings I kind of want to get a quick picture of your financial snapshot so what do you take home every month after taxes about three thousand a month okay and I have my my pensions in addition to uh that's yeah that's about a thousand a month so okay so now we're to about 4 200 a month yeah okay anything else that you want to add to that monthly income no that's it okay great and the problem I'm struggling with is on doing clean and it's it's taken a toll on me right I don't know how much longer I can do this and I'm getting stressed out about it because if I uh don't do this job and been trying to find other jobs uh and then I'm down to a thousand a month and that's just not enough to live on right that's right um what's your debt situation great uh what's your living situation are you home owner or are you renter no um renting actually moved in with my son because uh the rents were getting too high in the power I just couldn't manage it uh because at the time I couldn't find a job and now I've actually found a job but still I can't if I'm falling deep agencies uh areas that's why I downsize a year ago I was renting from a friend and that become a little um a little dicey there and too much money and my son split up with his wife so um I decided to move in with him and help him is there a timeline on that is there a timeline with your son no there isn't and that was the other question I've been there a year now okay okay are you still there by the way oh yeah okay so you've been with your son for a year um I my guess is there is going to be an end date at some point to this and you guys might want to start talking about this but the key is you know you've got to start getting your savings you have three to six months of savings and then if so are you investing any money because I where I'm hung up here Val is you don't have any debt you have an income but yet and still you're still living paycheck to paycheck so part of my question is where is all this money going towards every single month at this point in the game if you have no debt The Next Step would be to save three to six months of expenses and after that you gotta start investing some money you got to start getting some money set aside for the future because you're right a thousand dollars is not gonna cut it and I can't help you with work the work in Edmonton hang on the line we're going to send you um Ken Coleman's book proximity principle that will help you get some ideas on how you can find some work there it is there but it can be tough to find it [Music] if you're like most people your home is your most valuable asset and when you want to make improvements it can feel like everything costs too much or takes too long but something as simple as custom window coverings from blinds.com can completely change your space and add value to your home we've recommended blinds.com for over a decade so you know you can trust them from blinds drapes and shutters to motorized Shades they make it easy and affordable to upgrade your entire home and their team is ready to help with everything from design consultation to measuring and installation plus there are never any misleading quotes or hidden fees ever action guarantee and free see whyblinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings go to blinds.com now and save 45 off selected products visit blinds.com today for more info foreign [Music] hey what's going on everybody you are listening to the Ramsay show and thank you for listening I'm your host Jade warshaw joined by John deloney give us a call and you can be live on air airing all of your Grievances and money dirty laundry I'm just kidding but do give us a call we'd be happy to talk through anything with you the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five if you want to call in uh John you know this is one of my favorite Parts sometimes about this show is these articles that come through sometimes it's articles that we ourselves found and thought were kind of interesting or sometimes it's just something that's on the desk or like guys you need to look at this uh this one came through it says why a spending plan is better than a budget can you give us some some light on this what are we talking about here yes I golly dude all right here's my thoughts on this okay listen here's a why a spinning plan is better than a budget says a financial psychologist here's what the financial psychologist says which by the way not a thing but we'll go from there Financial psychology is about the humanness of money how people think feel behave about their money and their relationships with money in the past present and future wait are you saying this is not a real field I can tell you I've been in and around the field of mental health my entire life and I've never heard the phrase Financial psychology or a financial psychologist okay okay but I do like David said for years that money is 80 psychology and 20 knowledge right 80 Behavior you gotta know what you're thinking and doing so who you are contributes to what your money is doing and where your money's going certain forms of social conditioning is so stupid certain forms of social conditioning such as budgeting also come into play let me make a very clear statement budgeting is not social conditioning go off John it's not psychologically budgets sound restrictive here's what's happened over the last 40 or 50 years there's been a clever contest in my field my mental health field of people you don't just have anxiety you have high functioning anxiety that's not a thing not a thing it's not any DSM it's not it doesn't exist oh so you're saying folks are making up things they are making here's why here's why to give somebody a label for why they feel the way they do to like diagnostic I've gotta I've got to provide a label for every feeling that exists in the world I gotta label you and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable and so psychologically budget sounds restrictive is what the article says a spending plan sounds a lot better and they give more freedom and flexibility they actually don't so here's the here's the catch here math still applies whether you have a spending plan or a budget how much money do you make how much money do you have versus how much do you spend and you can get all play all kinds of semantic gymnastics a budget is about what you spent a spending a plan is about what you're about to spend what are you doing to the hurting person sitting in front of you as you're playing these Dungeons and Dragons games with them with your vocabulary and they're hurting what they need to be told is this you can take control of your money and here's how much you make and here's how much you spend who do you want to be who do you want to become what's the life you want to lead and how can we get there I will promise you the the most shameful thing I've experienced since leaving higher ed and coming to work here is how my lofty language and my theoretical propositions and the way I communicated was wholly unhelpful to a single mom of three kids just trying to figure out what can I do next to a truck driver who's got two boys and he just wants to be a little bit better dad and his dad left him and he doesn't know what to do and I'm here thinking saying well you know have you thought about the correct attachment disorder bro how can I help my kid right and so the reason this gets it sets me off is a budget should be restrictive and a budget frees up everything and when you part the way Dave uses budgets the way Ramsey Solutions uses budgets is we are always talking about a plan into the future yeah and so saying that's not that you can't just play well I guess our whole culture does that now you can't just say well that doesn't mean that anymore it means this now and I'm gonna go off to this word and I'm gonna create a new a whole new branch of uh psychology called Financial psychology here's what I want everybody I want everybody to stop with the gymnastics and help hurting people yeah and if you're sitting down and someone says hey I've tried to be on a budget my dad beat me up with a budget you say okay cool we're not going to call it a budget we'll call it a spending plan I'm actually okay with that it's fine that's fine it's semantics but to say they're two different things and this doesn't work and this is social conditioning it's not it's math it's math it's math I I agree John I'm here for the problem I'm heartbroken man because these are there's hurting people and people who have gone to college for a long long time in order to help other people have gotten so sophisticated and so excited about their new words and the way they explain things and so reluctant to have people feel uncomfortable in front of them that we're not helping anybody anymore that's so good we're not helping anybody here's the truth here's the truth and I'm I'm backing out of this financial psychology but whatever more people right now than ever before in human history are under the care of a mental health professional more people a licensed mental health professional more people than ever before are under are taking medication for psychological issues right now yep and the trend line is a rocket ship directly up to the moon and Beyond and so as a mental health Guy this is my world these are my friends these are my community these are who I talk to on a regular basis this is my academic training I have to be willing to step back and say what we're doing is not working throwing this at these problems coming up with new things that make people feel ah I didn't want to feel restrictive or telling somebody you've been socially conditioned to budget you need to have a spending put we are teaching people to avoid reality and an avoidance of reality at its core makes people insane wow that's the definition it's a lack of connectivity to reality so I'm done talking about it if it makes you feel better to say spending plan knock your lights out if it makes you feel better to say budget at this company at Ramsey Solutions it means it's we use these interchangeably this is a budget is how much money do you make how much money have you spent and who do you want to become in the future what's the world you want to build that's how we've used budget for 30 years and Beyond that's right and to my friends who are in the mental health profession stop stop all of our sophisticated mumbo jumbo all of our creating Diagnostics just so we can get an article on some blog somewhere we're taking people further and further and further away from reality and sometimes reality is uncomfortable sometimes reality hurts sometimes reality is a you gotta see that you're not safe and coming up with these nonsensical well you know it's not helping look around everybody it's not working it's not working that's all that's all I got to say about that sorry I would if it was socially acceptable John in this moment I would stand up and give you a standing elevation but I I'm just tired of hurting people man it's so true and yeah I think it's just creating more and more confusion around a topic where there's already confusion you know or I can't tell you how many calls and DMS and emails that come through with I I'm just struggling to but I just want to make a plan for my money any plan for my money and this just clouds all of it and makes it even more complicated so guys it's simple get on a plan for your money that's all a budget is I don't care what you call it it's deciding ahead of the month before the month begins how you're going to spend the money it's your hard income you're deciding how you're gonna spend it and some of that decision is going to go to needs and things that must get done and responsible tasks and some of that money is going to go to fun stuff and the things that you want to do that's all it is and we got a great budget here it's called every dollar if you're interested in that uh it's the best budgeting tool out there um it's helped so many people it's the tool that Sam and I use to help pay off our debt and it can help you too so if you're interested in that you can go to their site and actually use promo code Jade and you'll get some money off their 15 off so that's the solution budget is the word that's the buzzword and that's what we're going to call it here on the Ramsay show [Music] thank you [Music] what's going on you're listening to the Ramsay show give us a call we'll talk about your life your money the number is triple eight eight two five five two two five and without further Ado we've got Jonathan in Charleston South Carolina come on and raise up what's up hey how are y'all doing good how are you I'm doing fantastic um I got a quick question for you so I'm a musician my only debt is my house and my truck uh-huh I got some money saved up and I would I love my job I'm rich in spirit but it doesn't really pay like I would like it to so I'm I'm starting to think if I could get some sort of passive income I have friends I do Airbnb thing I know y'all are all about that all the time but uh they're suggesting I do that they're fellow musicians and I just I'm just trying to think a way to make my money grow I have a good chunk saved up for me what I think is a good chunk and uh yeah I'm just trying to make it so I can make a little bit more and maybe not have to play 30 gigs a week um well you're a musician don't you want to play the gigs I mean the whole you want to do the work right on the musician side it'd be one thing if you're like hey I don't want to wait tables as much I want to do more music but if you've got 30 gigs a week that's excellent well it's it's more I I say 30. I teach drum lessons and I also I probably play like five six gigs a week which is pretty good yeah um I don't want to play much more than that just because it is a lot of work you got to think of time going into preparation well I know I I used I I got you I used to be a musician myself um so I understand you on that tip um what I'm curious about is you said you've got a good amount of money saved and you said you've got your house and your truck um can we talk about that for a moment of course okay so I like the idea that you're wanting to get more money coming in um passive I will say is kind of a buzzword right now and it's not real so we'll talk about that Airbnb I like the idea of you getting more income in because I just love when people make good money but I don't think that Airbnb is your route so let's talk about what you got going on so you've got the truck how much do you owe on that truck um about nine grand okay uh and then you buy out is nine grand I have it for zero enters and you gotta oh so it's a lease notice I bought it and basically the it's a long story I don't know if you want to get into it but the dealership messed up and they had to they decided to make it right so they sold me a new version of the truck I wanted with zero interest okay and so it takes you 9k and you you owe it you own it free and clear yes okay cool and then you said you had some money saved up somewhere how much do you have saved I got about 80 grand saved up whoa mama that's great um so this 80 grand that's cash cash money right Cash Money okay so what's keeping us from paying off this truck today and please don't tell me because it's zero interest yeah because zero interest why would I pay it I know that I know I know I know you could say kind of because you're a musician and at any moment covet comes back and you know you have no gigs and you can't play and all my buddies who are touring musicians oh they couldn't breathe and you have eighty thousand dollars just sitting there you're not paying this thing off were you not a musician during covid Jonathan because I don't know about you but I was crying my eyes out every night and I was in good financial position all right bring it but he's gonna convince us okay now I'm not gonna come in don't try it don't try it hey before the day is over this truck has paid off go ahead you're gonna you didn't win anything and the car dealership is not your friend they didn't hook you up they screwed up and they made it right good on them but they're not your friend this isn't like a great situation for you it's better than a than just going to take a 15 loan if I pay it off monthly or pay it off now either way it's nine grand because tomorrow you sleep and and tomorrow when you're going to Costco and you're lifting your your 40 pound jar of peanut butter in the back of your truck you accidentally slam your finger and all of a sudden you can't play play guitar or play piano or whatever it is that you play and you're like crap I can't do my gigs anymore that's why or you just say hey I'm not I'm only gonna go down to four gigs a week because I'm tired and that 500 bucks I was gonna make on that one that's my truck payment I'm not paying it no more or you're a singer and for some unknown reason you lose your voice and you got to cancel your get like as a musician but I'm telling you man this thing is precarious anything can happen at any moment and now more than ever is when you need that security no payments all right that's what you need no I mean it's not like you have a lot of debt sitting here Jonathan I mean it's nine thousand dollars that we're talking about we can clear it clear thousand in the bank man but I do want I'm just thinking okay it's sitting in high yielding savings John Jonathan Jonathan Jonathan look look okay look look you can do what you want to do you can do what you want to do if you're asking me which I think that you did call into the show I think but that you really need to just gone ahead look you're still gonna have seventy one thousand dollars left let me do it this way if you and three Buddies go in and all get a uh Airbnb right you all pitch in You all take a huge loan out and y'all all pitch in and this thing makes a couple of thousand bucks a week and you put a thousand bucks to into it and you all take some cat a cash draw out how much is your truck payment a month is about three hundred dollars there's your draw so you're looking for passive income a way to make three or four hundred more dollars and then over time they're gonna pay for Equity never works out that way uh that's not true it does occasionally but on the on the average it is not you'd be doing better to take that truck payment s your passive income right there brother with no risk with no risk not one of your buddies going off and being like hey I quit by the way I'm not doing this anymore or another buddy be like hey my mom wants to move into the house he doesn't even have to put it in a high yield savings he can invest it he's got he'll have three like after he pays off this debt he'll have his three to six months he can start investing into a Roth IRA you can start investing that money and actually making some Bank on that over time your friends look at you like a savings account because you have eighty thousand dollars in cash musicians how much you have left on your house 150. oh my gosh dude let's go listen bro let's go you are 24 months to uh to owing nobody anything I mean I make 35 to 40 a year and this is my first year making that much since Co since Kobe look what John what John is pointing to is the idea that if you walk down these steps you're paying off this truck today that leaves you with 71 000 which is more than what we would say to have saved up in cash right we say three to six months of expenses so technically you could whatever the cutoff point maybe it's 25 000 maybe it's 30 000 that you cut this off and you take the other 35 that's left you could technically put it towards your house if you're not on baby step you know you don't have any kids you don't have to stay for college you do you see what he's saying we want you to invest 15 of your income and once you pay off the car you're going to have plenty left you're getting 300 back every month and then from there you can start paying off your house is what he's saying and then in 24 months if you if you work bananas and you you run the gigs and you drive in the morning and you deliver lunch and is it gonna suck yes it is in 24 months bro you have no house payment then you can do what you'll want to do yeah you should like and here's the thing what every one of the internet internet Bros Instagram Bros are trying to do is trying to get you to focus on bro if you get no percent down then you get six percent over here you're making the six percent you can put that and don't have avocado toast and you'll be a billionaire here's what we're trying to do is give you your life back yeah have peace man we could sleep at night and you can don't have to take gigs with crappy bands because you have to have that money make me a product no that hit me so you don't have to play the wedding you can you don't you can play the cool punk band gigs like you should be doing because they're great music man you don't have to play the because I don't owe anybody anything and then here's the crazy part about not owing anybody anything you start playing music that you really want to play and that you're really good at and then all of a sudden something hits because your whole heart is in it you're not just doing it to get to the next thing and get to the next thing and get to the next thing that's right this is what happens with art man I don't know how or why it's just how it works man this is the Ramsay show [Music] [Music] you are listening to the Ramsay show a show about life and money and mental health in financing not financing but getting your finances in order and getting the right career and getting on budget and getting on track give us a call the number is Triple A 825-5225 scripture and quote of the day man I love this one I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength that's what I'm talking about Philippians 4 13 can never go wrong with that one or y'all y'all are getting me with these quotes why do I have to get the Harriet Tubman one it says every great dream begins with a dreamer always remember you have within you the strength the patience and the passion to reach for the stars and change the world love it so so so so good what's the matter with you guys I don't know what's wrong with such just an inspirational quote it has nothing to do with this person I just found something there we go whatever I hope you sleep tonight Allison y'all give me phone lines after that I got John help me out hey we're gonna go to David in Washington what's up David hi good afternoon how are you guys doing we're doing good we're getting there the show producers struggling but we're doing all right how are you doing all right good I appreciate you guys taking my call today so what's welcome how can we use uh my fiancee yeah um my fiance are gonna be getting married um in early October of this year cool um and basically my question is uh I bought a house in um right before covet I actually got lucky it was February 20 20 uh February uh 20th 2020. well done man that's awesome yeah right before kind of the uh the World Turns Upside Down um but luckily um uh the the markets were kind of getting spooked in China and uh so I was able to lock in on kind of a low interest rate um it's an end unit townhouse my first house um and I guess my question is um advice uh should you know I'm thinking about potentially selling um but obviously if I sell uh since I can pay off my other debt I have a car loan um of about 14 500 and a small personal loan um just that we took out to kind of cover some of the spenses for the wedding savings but not the personal loan it's uh six thousand six thousand dollars um my parents our parents luckily are helping out with with a good deal of it uh which is which is nice um but you know I would say all in all total debt um other than the mortgage of course would be uh right around twenty five thousand dollars um for everything um but you know how much are you okay savings I can I can knock out what's your portion of the wedding that you're paying for uh we're covering about about uh fifty five hundred fifty five hundred and you feel like you've got that covered or are you still needing a plan for that as well yeah no it's already paid for yeah that's all paid for oh okay uh everything's already arranged um you know we talked about the Lander honeymoon until later uh when I get my bonus in March uh so that's no no big deal there um someone brought this up David someone brought this up did she did she tell you she don't want to live here are you starting to feel nervous about owing 25 Grand and getting married oh sorry something brought this up does she tell you she doesn't really want to live in this house um no no no no no she definitely we're gonna live here uh she has combined income here all right yeah you're good I'll get to it here so the deal is her mother um you know the first uh generation immigrant um uh migrated here from El Salvador and uh her her mom and her sister are um our uh uh currently renting an apartment but they're having a hard time so if I if I were to potentially sell um the idea would be to pay off any debt I have and then potentially um you know I'm looking in the area I'm in the Market's pretty it's kind of expensive but if I were to upgrade a little bit um we would have basically three incomes um you know to contribute to the to the mortgage um which I think so you're saying to get a home to house you mom and sister am I understanding that right correct correct just temporarily until her sister uh is getting situated right now so she's um she might you know move out but just for temporarily to help her save as well correct I would strongly recommend I'm all about helping out family if you've got to help out family you gotta help out family I would not buy a house based on three incomes the most I would go is say okay what's our combined take-home income between me and my about to be wife and that's got to be the basis because mom might get sick mom might get hurt you're starting to add so many variables and in that market DC is expensive man correct um correct I do love your heart that you want to help out your your wife's family totally get that um sounds like you have a gold mine there with that with that with the place you live in right now is that fair and I say Goldmine it sounds like you bought the house for about half of what it would sell for right now and probably locked in a decent interest rate yeah it's uh I bought it for two uh 220 including all the closing costs back in 2020 now it's going for you know I just got an appraised just for the heck of it uh for 325. what's the interest rate uh three three and a half dude a 30-year fix it'd be tough for me to walk away on that and can I can I be the bad guy in in for just a moment too yeah I man it gave me a pit in my stomach a little bit when I thought about you starting off your brand new brand spanking new marriage in a house that you bought for your mother-in-law and sister-in-law with you all in the same house that just feels like a recipe for man it's just heavy to me I'm like that's a lot of yeah influence you know what I'm saying like I mean it's just hard to establish whose home this is yeah and who you're going to be in your marriage that's right yeah um the first year of marriage is so different I mean it's different for everybody but there's it's full of challenges good and bad and you're just trying to figure out who you're going to be and to have that many voices Under One Roof not to say that they're just going to be speaking into your marriage all the time but it's just they're you're in the same household so I I don't I gotta be honest I don't like that idea I think that there might be a better way that you could help them out but I also want to say your first UH responsibilities to your wife and to setting up that situation in that Foundation correctly and then you can start looking outward and I feel like you've got a great heart and you're trying to look outward right now but it's like wait first for first things first and so that would be my take on it um I you know all like I'm thinking about my own situation I'm like if Sam if Sam warshaw came and was like Hey we're getting married oh and by the way I'm gonna sell my house so that your sister and your mom can move I would be like oh I don't like is there something else that we can do is there a better way is your wife interested in helping them out are you just trying to be super husband um well that's the thing so she's helping her now so she's helped she's paying she's helping her pay her rent now okay so so we're incomes getting her now you know it's a club thing like when you marry Latina you're basically a married or a mother too there's some different definite cultural things absolutely hey you're cutting you're cutting out real bad on this problem what I think let me while you're cutting out and while you're finding service here's here's the plan I want to give you I want you to um not sell the house I think that the debt that you have I think that you can sweep that up with the income that you have coming in I don't want your your fiance contributing to that at all right now right now it's your debt you're not married yet so start contributing to that start knocking that out as quickly as possible then when you guys get married you can come in together and start knocking this out it's 25 000 it's going to be gone lickety-split I didn't ask you your income yet um but it doesn't matter 25 000 you guys are going to clean that up in two seconds right so that's thing one of course I want you to have a thousand dollars set aside before you start tackling that debt but then once that debt is dead and gone you're gonna have income freed up and from there you guys can decide okay obviously we've got to get you know some savings put aside but you're probably gonna have some other discretionary money there that it's like if if they need help I'm not really sure when you said first first generation does that mean they just got here does that mean they've been here for several years like only you know that situation um and you guys are gonna have to decide okay what makes sense in our budget what's a way that we can help them by not also being a detriment to ourselves I like the idea of staying in that house at least six months and let's get our feet underneath this and then we can start saying okay what do we want this thing to look like what kind of help do we need yeah I'm with you man there's something about that that separation you gotta have some space figure out at least the first six months is at least preferably a year but yeah man all right guys that does it for this show thanks for listening and remember when it comes to your life and money y'all can tell me that that you won't do it but never tell me that you can't do it we learned before I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength hey what's up guys it's Jade look if you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsay baby steps go to ramsesolutions.com and click the get started button we'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation that's ramseysolutions.com and click get started [Music]

Channel: The Ramsey Show

Views: 58,510

Keywords: dave ramsay live, dave ramsey, dave ramsey channel, dave ramsey live, dave ramsey live show, dave ramsey live stream, dave ramsey podcast, dave ramsey radio show, dave ramsey show, dave ramsey show full show, dave ramsey show live, ramsey, ramsey solutions, the dave ramsey show, the dave ramsey show live, the ramsey show full episodes, the ramsey show

Id: w1x-FGS4hO8

Length: 123min 30sec (7410 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 14 2023