Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we
will learn about the power of not reacting and twelve habits to control your emotions.
Now, let’s begin. Do you know someone who gets angry, anxious,
or upset over the smallest things? A surprising number of people have trouble restraining their
emotions, especially during periods of stress and uncertainty. When something doesn’t go their
way, they get overwhelmed by extreme feelings, like rage or distress, transforming
even the most minor conflicts into damaging and embarrassing situations.
For example, let’s say you’re debating with someone about a subject you both care
about, like sports or politics. All you want to do is make your point, but the other
person seems to be getting angrier and angrier. Perhaps they raise their voice or make
derogatory comments about you or your beliefs. What starts as a friendly debate escalates into
swearing, name-calling, and personal criticisms. Why? Because not everyone knows know how
to control their emotions. When they hear something they don’t like, many people react
impulsively, like a wave of frustration and volatility is crashing onto their heads. These
people may be prone to feelings of defensiveness as if any opposition is an insult to their
character. They might become angry that people aren’t validating their ideas or because they’re
struggling to communicate exactly what they mean. Once these emotions start swirling in their
heads, they’re likely to make bad decisions. They may become desperate to get their way,
damaging their relationships and hurting the people they care about. Only after the dust
settles do they realize the damage they’ve done. If you find yourself in a similar situation
— where your emotions are tested — how can you prevent your emotions from spiraling out of
control? In this video, we’re going to discuss twelve powerful habits anyone can use to master
what’s known as “non-reacting.” The basic idea is simple. By recognizing extreme emotions and
delaying impulsive reactions, you can make good decisions when it matters most... and these habits
will help you do just that. Many of these tricks and techniques are employed by highly disciplined
people every single day. Like exercising physical muscles, it takes time and consistent effort to
build real emotional discipline, but with these everyday habits, you’ll learn to control
your emotions and navigate any situation with patience and composure.
1. Chemical Countdown When you experience an emotional conflict,
chemicals rush into your brain that motivate extreme reactions and impulsive behaviors.
If you want to control your emotions, you need to wait for that rush of chemicals
to disappear before taking action. One simple trick is to close your eyes and
count to five. During those five seconds, the chemicals in your brain will slow down enough
to see your situation clearly. It sounds simple, but those five seconds can spare you
from years of impulsiveness and regret. 2. Find Your Roots
When you feel strong emotions bubbling up inside you, try searching for the root
of the problem. In other words, ask yourself why you might be feeling the way you’re feeling.
If you’re impulsively angry about something someone said, ask yourself why their comment
triggered such a strong emotional reaction. This habit immediately changes your perspective,
forcing you to step back and analyze your emotions from the outside. This instantly puts you in a
position of emotional control and reveals what’s really causing your distress. Often the source of
a feeling isn’t what it appears. Once you find it, you can face the actual problem without
doing damage to yourself or others. 3. Sources of Resentment Many of us have a bad habit of stewing
on feelings of anger or resentment. Let's say you have an argument with a friend. You
both walk away feeling hurt and irritated, but instead of expressing those feelings and finding
a solution, you allow your anger inside you to simmer and grow. Over time, you may even lose
track of why you were angry in the first place. The longer you wait to resolve these feelings, the
harder it becomes to make those emotions go away. This is true of many negative emotions, like
sadness or embarrassment. Ignoring these feelings can create lasting emotional turmoil, so speak up
and resolve your feelings before it’s too late. 4. Name Your Emotions We often struggle to control our emotions because
we don’t really know what we’re feeling. All we recognize is a swirling cloud of thoughts
and feelings. Our emotions become muddled and frustrating, so we seek immediate relief
instead of understanding what’s going wrong. In situations like this, try naming your emotions.
As soon as you feel something bubbling up inside you, ask yourself, “What exactly am I feeling?
Am I angry or sad? Impatient or embarrassed?” Once you put a name to your emotions, they become
smaller, simpler, and easier to understand. 5. Manage Your Stress
Stress has a significant effect on your emotional state. When you’re
stressed, your patience and discipline wear thin. It feels like the world is crashing down all
around you, and minor things may trigger extreme emotional outbursts and irrational decisions.
Any kind of stress can impact your emotional state, so make a habit of relieving some stress
every day. There are plenty of stress-relieving activities out there, like writing, meditation,
and exercise. Any of these habits, if practiced regularly, may lower your stress levels, making it
much easier to process and control your emotions. 6. Opportunities for Expression
Many people lose control of their emotions because they don’t allow themselves to express
how they really feel. Men especially stuff their feelings down and pretend everything is fine until
the day their emotions suddenly explode outward. This is when extreme emotions do the most
damage to you and the people in your life. For your own sake, don’t let your emotions
fester in the back of your mind. Instead, create opportunities to express your emotions
on a regular basis. Write in a journal, talk with a loved one, or sit down with a mental
health professional. Make self-expression a normal part of your routine, and you’ll begin to
understand yourself a whole lot better. 7. Channel Your Feelings Talking or writing aren’t the only way to express
emotions. You can also channel those feelings into activities like physical sports or creative
hobbies. These activities occupy your mind and channel your energy in a way that brings calm
and clarity. For example, if you’re caught up in a stressful situation, you might try singing at the
top of your lungs. There are dozens of activities, like singing, that release your feelings and
change your state of mind. Find one that suits your interests. That way, you can channel
your emotions into something constructive. 8. The Empathy Routine
When you’re angry at someone, try thinking about your situation from their point
of view. You may feel like you’ve been wronged, but it’s possible the other person feels the same
way. They might be in a challenging position or, like you, struggling to understand why they
feel the way they feel. In either case, practicing empathy can neutralize extreme emotions
and help the two of you find common ground. Even if you’re not actively upset, this is a great
habit for expanding your emotional intelligence. Practicing empathy challenges you to reflect
on your feelings, question your assumptions, and approach every situation with
a calm and collected state of mind. 9. Possess Your Emotions Are you ashamed of your emotions? Too many people
avoid responsibility for their genuine feelings because they’re embarrassed or ashamed to feel
them. If someone asks you how you’re feeling, you might pretend everything is okay
and hide your emotions from the world. But this only deepens your emotional
turmoil. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take responsibility for your emotions because
there’s nothing shameful about how you feel. 10. The Boiling Point
Even if you learn to control your emotions, you may be too upset to hold those emotions
inside you. Some people call this the “boiling point” — the moment just before your feelings
bubble up and explode. If you want to control your emotions, get to know your boiling point so that
you never do or say something you regret. When you’re almost over the edge, remove yourself from
the situation and give yourself time to cool off. 11. Create Your Mantra
Sometimes, when you’re feeling strong emotions, it helps to remind yourself what you’re working
toward or what kind of person you want to be. A simple mantra or a meaningful phrase can
help you find perspective and rise above negative emotions like anger or frustration.
These feelings might be strong in the moment, but when you think about what really
matters, it’s easier to maintain control. It may take some time to find a mantra that’s
unique and special to you. There are all kinds of mantras out there, but often the powerful
mantras are the ones you create for yourself. A few repetitions of this meaningful phrase can
relieve stress, provide clarity, and remind you what is really important.
12. The Power of Breath Many disciplined people have developed
incredible patience and willpower using the simple power of their breath. You’ve
probably heard about breathing exercises to relieve stress or anxiety, but why does
breathing affect your emotional state? The first half of your breath, the inhale,
influences your sympathetic nervous system, which controls your fight or flight response.
Stopping for a deep breath of air dissuades impulsive behavior in favor of more logical
decisions. The second half, the exhale, comes from your parasympathetic nervous system, which affects
your ability to relax and calm down. Simply exhaling a breath of air can pacify negative
feelings, giving you a sense of calm and control. Whenever your emotions are spiraling out of
control, take a deep breath in and out. This simple exercise may be all you need to control
your emotions and change your state of mind. Thank you for watching TopThink
and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way.
