The power of letting go | Insa Klasing | TEDxBerlin

I learned to let go the hard way I'll always remember Saturday the 14th of May 2016 it began like most Saturdays with me out riding with a group it was a stormy day the trees were thrashing around sprinkling blossom like confetti into the air and my horse responding to the elements was as nervous as the weather then when the group speeded up on an open field my horse suddenly bolted I tried desperately to stop her but she just went faster and faster in my panic I tightened the reins tried to rein her back in but now feeling trapped at the front she liberated herself from my control throwing her hind legs into the air violently bucking me off now some people see their life pass by and moments like these all I could think was roll off roll off and then I thought nothing more for a while as everything went dark when I eventually opened my eyes again I could may only make out the blur of feet and legs moving hectically around me and panicked voices drifted in and out of my consciousness however I had the distinct sense that something was fundamentally wrong with my arms and I was right later on in hospital I found out why my left arm had broken off completely and in the scan it looked more like a broom that it split in two luckily the doctors managed to screw it back on and don't worry there is a happy end to this story I have all my movements next day after the operation I was still high on morphine but I had one burning question on my mind to ask the doctor when she came to my hospital room and you've got it when would I be back at work now it's crazy to think that that was the most important question on my mind or even a question at all after everything that had happened but I'm afraid to say that at the time I was so out of touch with myself it was I was running a business with thousands of employees and I felt I needed to communicate when I would be back at work and organize what would happen in the meantime naturally all from my hospital bed straps and iuv machine no questions asked the doctor smiled back at me benignly and said very kindly it will take time but it's done to your body to decide how long now even though she spoke as though to two-year-old she might just as well have spoken Chinese because after that point my body had had absolutely no say in the running of my life everything had been a question of my will and determination now can I ask you put yourself in my shoes what timeframe would you have fixed in my out of office miss that I wrote that I would be back within three weeks now two weeks was on holiday with someone covering for me were just about acceptable three weeks were already a stretch in fact it almost felt like a sabbatical but to my absolute horror even three weeks worth nearly enough despite all my will and determination it didn't work this was not a matter of weeks but of months and that turned out to be a surprise to nobody but me in the end I was away in rehabilitation for six weeks returning home to be nursed by my parents for the final stretch here I was a CEO back in her childhood bedroom needing help even to go to the bathroom it should have been a great lesson but at the time I refused to see it I could have opened a flower shop with all the flowers I got since I could have opened a bookshop on Buddhism with the books my friends sent meaning my impatient but instead of reveling at all his love and care I was set on being furious and impatient with my poor buddy for the entire time when I eventually returned to work this is what it looked like during physiotherapy Aida transpired that my right hand had also fractured in various places and it was now in a cast why the left arm was still in a sling I couldn't write open the door or even carry a handbag ciri had become my new best friend I tried my best but I was really only properly present in the office for two hours a day I remember frequently disappearing into the first-aid room for a nap hoping that no one would notice but then a miraculous thing happened and one that I could never have foreseen I couldn't really do anything but everyone else just took off my fear had been that if I came to stand still so with the business or even worse that it would all end in chaos but that never happened instead my team thrived in fact they blossom I have bad memory so I used to take copious notes and meetings to compensate as this was no longer an option I just focus on the few things I could remember and it's probably no surprise to you that from this moment on meetings were so much more productive and always ended on time as I couldn't write enough anymore I just went to up two people to the desk or phoned them up and it turned out to be a revolutionary step as other colleagues also started to do this and we suddenly aligned so much more quickly and with me being less presence overall sometimes the team just got on with it and skipped entire alignment loops altogether for example they chose one product in the innovation pipeline that I had been particularly skeptical about they tested her than the market and surprised me with the sales results which were extraordinary and it wasn't just this one product across the board we had the best results we had ever had and suddenly I had an epiphany this was because I allowed them the space they needed I realized I was standing in one of these magical moments that you read about when it all suddenly comes together I let go and everyone thrived I call this the power of letting go and today I want to share this power with you so you can all experience this without breaking any bones first now the power of letting go is all about giving up control I know no one in this room is going to stand up and proudly declare themselves a control freak and yet it's amazing how much we all invest and believing in control counting our calories tracking our kids asking to bcc'd and emails that work and the list goes on and on but all these attempts are completely futile life is simply beyond control the biggest lesson the accident has taught me is control is an illusion the price we pay for control is enormous we control because we think it will make us happier and it were your better results but the opposite is true energy follows attention so when we invest a lot of attention and something we don't want we get exactly that the trouble is that the mind can't work out the word not it can only identify what the attention is directed at when my horse bolted I focused all my attention on not falling producing a fall what is more control takes all the joy out of life my dad here is 81 and heartsick his heart sometimes speeds up but luckily he has a smart watch which can detect these crazy spikes from the heart rate when we go up for walks together we stop every couple of hundred meters or so and check the watch when we find that the heart rate is way too high we remain still until it's back to normal now we're trying to control his heart but really we're trying to stop him from dying which we all know is an impossible feat even with the Smart Watch and this attempt to control destiny comes at a cost it comes at the cost of living of living in the moment when we stop so frequently and look at the watch we lose the flow of our conversation we miss the amazing cloud from the sky or the fresh smell of the lingering rain on the leaves and we do this knowing full well that these precious moments together are counted that they will not come back now I'm not saying that we should we should be reckless that we shouldn't be sensible or take reasonable precautions but I am saying that we should be celebrating our time together because that's what's precious and that's what I wouldn't remember what I want to remember about my dad is a brilliant spirit his generosity his kindness not his Smart Watch when control becomes our main focus above all else it crushes joy it crashes spontaneity and fun so within that's all that Sense and Sensibility let's live enough of that how then do we all put the control on the back burner and unleash the power of letting go now I'm sure there are many ways of tackling this but for me it just came down to three things very simple but by no means easy it's choose trust switch off your phones and breathe at first sight this might all look a touch he's a tarik and frankly if someone had told me before the accident that one day I would be standing here and giving a TED talk identifying breathing amongst other things as being key to success and not just to remaining alive I love the room but trust me it isn't either tarik at all there are plenty of studies proving scientifically how trusts digital detox and meditation or enhance our performance and this has been my personal formula for success ever since the accident and to be honest it's been absolutely transformational leading not just a better result some businesses are as I described to you but also to more happiness in the rest of my life so let's start with trust then Trust is the antidote to control and it's the biggest discovery I made thanks to the accident I'd say it was my failure to trust that caused the accident in the first place my failure to trust my horse my failure frankly to trust myself and my ability to ride at breakneck speeds then when I was literally forced to let go of the reins and trust my team it worked wonders so when the arms had healed I chose to trust consciously whenever I felt that inclination to control now of course there are people who say that Trust has to be earned but here's the thing trust cannot be earned either you trust or you don't so next time you feel an inclination to step in with control try out trust instead and see what happens and if it goes wrong try again because those of us we use to get our results through control it takes practice over and over again until trust becomes a habit but it's really worth trying because you will like me excel or even transcend yourself fear reduces the vision of what we think is possible Trust opens that up we can suddenly do things that we always dreamt of but never dared the most fantastic acts of bravery and courage and history were are fueled by trust like Philippe Petit here walking on a tightrope between the Twin Towers of New York with no safety nets had he from one moment thought of controlling the possibility of falling to death he would have done just that no he was full of trust and that's why he managed this amazing feat on to number two switch off your phone I'm serious before the accident my phone was always on I would fly into the city and on the way to the meeting I'd be so absorbed by my smartphone that back home at night I couldn't tell you what the weather had been like then during rehabilitation I switched off my phone for large stretches of time I had to in order to recover and I am convinced that that was vital to letting go because I practically switched off the outside in which I had been so absorbed now switching off the outside is a real challenge these days because our smartphones have become little tyrants in our pockets constantly absorbing us with new messages with app notifications with updates on our popularity which followers have liked us or left us we are lost an outside approval let's be honest how many of us are going to pull out our phones first thing before the next talk oh dear I asked already have our phones in hand isn't it frightening that is the outside exerting its control over us and us fully consenting to it for fear of missing out we have to switch off our phones if we really want to let go and the wonderful thing is there is a button for it the switch off funds use it so until the third and last elements of unleashing the power of letting go it's choose trust switch off your phones and breathe now breathing is the most reliable methods to stop the control our minds exert over us our mind is a fantastic leftenant but it's not a good captain and yet that is what the mind houses believe most of the time so if we really want to let go we have to switch off our minds just like we switch off our phone I mentioned to you that before the accident my mind was fully in charge of my life to my peril then during rehabilitation I learned to pause and breathe and calm my fury of monkey mind then I stepped back into the frenzy of business life and trust me frenzy it is for today I'm the co-founder and CEO of a rapidly growing startup busier than ever before but having discovered that the productivity of Silicon Valley Hollywood and Wall Street is all fueled by Transcendental Meditation I decided I needed to learn it myself at first I thought all this time I was now investing and meditating would diminish my success but in fact the energy creativity and the emotional Karma gives me create sense now for all of those who think when on earth am I to fit the Phinn I understand you so well and I have good news for you you don't need to start with full-on meditation for 40 minutes a day you can easily start with just breathing for to two minutes before you pick up the baby two minutes closing your eyes before an important meeting two minutes stepping outside to breathe impression so that's it that is how I unleash the power of letting go which I wanted to share with all of you today but now of course it's down to you to decide whether to let go I know this is going to sound so strange but I'm really grateful for that writing excellence for waking me up for forcing me to let go of the reins allowing life to take over I have never looked back and I hope neither will you thank you [Applause] [Music]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 138,962

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Life, Business, Change, Meditation, Mindfulness, Social Interaction

Id: jMhcF53c9J8

Length: 19min 3sec (1143 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 19 2019