The Physical Symptoms of Grief

[Music] grief like all emotions isn't just in  your head it shows up in your body in remarkable   ways but most people have never been taught what  is common in the grieving process and how grief   does show up in your body and this can leave  some people feeling stuck spiraling through   endless grief and pain when you learn how grief  shows up in your body you can be more equipped to   address it and work through the process of grief  and loss in this video we're going to learn from   grief expert Dr Dorothy Hollinger she's the author  of the anatomy of grief we're going to learn about   how grief shows up in the body and what we can  do to work through it now I recently recorded an   interview with Dorothy about how grief impacts the  body but unfortunately some of the video files got   corrupted so I'm summarizing our conversation here  the full-length interview is on my podcast [Music] what are we selling dinosaurs and courses  hey everyone happy holidays we are having   a huge Black Friday sale so are you ready  to learn how to manage your emotions how to   soothe anxiety in your nervous system how  to stop being so emotionally reactive and   live the life that you dream of well now's your  chance to buy a course all courses are going to   be 40 off now you probably already know about  my coping skills course my change your brain   course and my emotion processing course  but did you know that I have a course on   improving relationships on journaling a course on  grounding skills plus I've got a bunch of experts   in my school teaching everything from managing  intrusive thoughts to improving self-esteem   and incompulsive worry dealing with grief and  working through anxiety so do yourself a favor   and learn some new skills this month check  out your options at therapy in a nutshell.com [Music] okay so first let's talk about how  grief shows up in the brain when you first   hear of an intense loss your brain essentially  perceives it as a threat to your survival and the   amygdala triggers the stress response also  known as the fight flight freeze response   loss is an intense stress people may fight they  may scream yell or get furious that someone is   gone they may flee they may run away deny the  loss or avoid talking or thinking about it or   they may freeze they may faint or go numb mute or  just shut down completely this initial response is   acute but it eventually resolves okay second now  let's talk about how grief affects the heart organ   grief can stun the heart and result in broken  heart syndrome the intense emotions and the   adrenaline from the stress response can  cause the heart to physically swell and   take an abnormal shape the heartbeat speeds  up and this can cause physical strain on the   heart now for most people going through grief  their heart can handle it but for people over   65 there's a 21 times greater chance of a heart  attack the day after the loss of a spouse some   of you may have heard that after the horrible  tragedy at the olivaldi school the husband of   one of the teachers who was killed there her  husband also died from a heart attack this may   have been caused by broken heart syndrome now  this this was a really tragic situation but for   most people these physical changes in the heart  they reverse after the acute grief period has   passed now as a side note it's also interesting  to me that intense happiness can also enlarge the   heart but it's a different part of the heart okay  now let's talk about crying for a moment before   we discuss other physical changes during grief  so how do tears play into the grief process are   they healing it's really common for people to cry  to scream to sob as part of the grieving process   even other animals like elephants seem to shed  tears when they're experiencing grief there are   three chemically different types of Tears basal  tears which are the regular moistening tears that   happen throughout the day there's reflex tears  which happen when there's an irritant like when   you cut an onion and there's emotional tears they  actually contain protein-based stress hormones one   of which is leucine and cephalin and it's related  to endorphins and it's a natural painkiller so the   biochemical composition of Tears is actually  healthy and healing on a physical level   okay so what are some of the other  ways that grief impacts the body   number four is decreased pleasure the physical  senses like taste touch sight are no longer   enjoyable food may seem tasteless and and this and  the stress response can lead to number five which   is loss of appetite and difficulty eating so the  stress response slows digestion and diverts energy   to survival responses and it's very common for  the bereaved to lose weight and to struggle to eat   after a loss for other people the stress response  can lead to overeating and weight gain number six   another common symptom is difficulty sleeping and  insomnia number seven the stress of grief can also   temporarily weaken the immune system and it's not  uncommon to get sick after a loss but also around   anniversaries of the loss it's like the body  is asking the bereaved to address their loss   headaches and other body aches are also common  after loss and just in general when grief is   overwhelming or the Survivor is unable to face or  process grief sometimes that emotional pain shows   up in somatic changes in changes in the body and  this tends to be most common when survivors are   suppressing their feelings when they're masking  them or attempting to avoid or distract themselves   from the pain they may feel numb or disconnected  from their body Dr Hollinger shares the story of   a woman whose baby died and afterward she lost  her sense of hearing voices sounded muted and   indecipherable and she couldn't hear any sounds  normally but doctors couldn't find anything wrong   with her ears Dr Hollinger continues in her  book she says she didn't hear fully for as   long as she couldn't accept the death of her  baby when she was able to admit that her baby   had died her hearing returned as as she put it  when her hearing came back her grieving began   the bereaved mother had to detach herself from  all sounds because she couldn't bear not to hear   the sounds of her baby not being able to hear  at full capacity was the path that Mrs M sorrow   took through her body now sometimes survivors  don't feel like they're allowed to mourn because   they aren't the primary person like a parent  or a spouse or their culture or their status   doesn't allow them to show grief but suppressing  feelings just doesn't work in the long run so   the grief May emerge as a physical symptom which  can also be a distraction from the emotional pain   but when grief is processed when loss is addressed  and acknowledged and accommodated the brain can   gradually make space for the new reality grief  can become less intense or rather our ability   to move forward grows our ability to feel those  feelings and continue on with life strengthens   so what do we do about these changes I'm not  going to pretend that grief is some easy thing   that can or should be fixed but there are some  things that you can do to help your heart and   body work through the suffering and these  include exercise making sleep a priority a   good nutrition and especially social contact  be around people don't stop doing enriching   and pleasurable activities even if they don't feel  good over time you'll be able to enjoy them again   okay I'm really grateful for Dr Hollinger for  taking the time to share this information with   me I hope you found it helpful  thank you for watching and take   and take don't be afraid of what you're feeling  don't let your griefs scare you heal it allow   yourself to feel that grief and in feeling  it know that it will come down it won't go   away but it will calm down and when they let in  that Joy coincide with grief and also be changed   changed into Joy with the  memories of the loved one [Music] [Music]

Channel: Therapy in a Nutshell

Views: 552,353

Keywords: therapy in a nutshell, emma mcadam, mental health, depression, anxiety, overthinking, social anxiety

Id: Gcp1G0eIUYk

Length: 9min 3sec (543 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 24 2022