The Most WTF Moments We’ve Had At School

on this week's episode of teachers off duty we're talking about crazy school assemblies WTF moments in education and ASB bestus what the [Music] freck [Music] hey best friends welcome to teachers off duty today we're going to be talking about Kay cray School assemblies and WTF moments in teaching and I know we got a lot of them we do and we have too many too many that sent in some need some advice from us so it says Dear Mr Williams my students are usually well behaved in class however when we at school assemblies all hell breaks loose the last one my students continued to make bird noises while the presenter was speaking it got so bad that we were asked to leave the assembly and not attend the next one I am so embarrassed am I the only teacher that H that has had this happen to sign tired and ticked off teacher birdes the bird noises no my I somebody was whistling in my class the other day and I y' I could not figure out who it was and it was driving me crazy and they were doing silent work and I was like who is whistling I was like stop whistling and I was like the next person that whistles you know when you're a teacher and you get fed up you're like the next person that whistles and so then like five of them started whistling and I still couldn't figure out who it was and I was like it's the four of y'all back there with masks on I know it has to be y'all cuz I have looked at everybody else's mouth and I cannot tell who it is it's like those Tik Tok videos one person singing and you have to guess who's the singer y'all it was there's stuff in teaching that I'm like this is making me crazy I could not tell who was whistling cuz there's power and number so I think when kids go to assembly they know they can get away with the most you know like we had an assembly I feel like everyone's had this happen to them if not you guys going to be like we had an assembly when I was in high school and the speaker went to the bathroom with the mic on oh no and so before it starts you can hear you heard the toilet Flash and then you didn't hear the sink and they came right back out and the entire time none of us could get it together like so they ended up like cutting the assembly short but cuz there's power right like if had been like a small maybe even a class we would have probably kindly aor looked away but an auditorium of you know 600 kids being like don't touch the mic n my in my room like we now have mics that we wear and I want one of those I've been asking for one of those for years aesome game why do you wear M because you have to do you know how many times you scream across your class during the day I've got so much more energy when I have the it hurts your throat and you're tired y so the mic is Bluetooth to my speakers and the the staff bathroom is right next to my classroom and one time like right when I got the mic I was like okay I'm go to bathroom quick while the class was in there and I took a pee and I looked down on my mic and I could see the light was still on I was like hor oh no how good the Bluetooth so then I walked back in the classroom and just kind of like look around and see if the kids noticed anything and they didn't notice anything which was good you left your kids in there by themselves uh no I no I did not I had I had a Pera in the room I had EA in the room I had another teacher I had another teacher watched my classroom when I went to the bathroom okay I love that you get to do that you know what we don't we don't get to do another teacher we have to call like an animal we have to call the office and ask the principal to come down and what animal yeah like if teaching isn't degradant enough you have to be hey um can I call to pee I have to pee you have to literally as an adult tell another adult you have to pee one time I called in and the principal was like I'm tell I'm busy right now is a number one or number two I said girl you don't pay me enough to ask me that but it is a number two is number number one number two yeah y'all this was so wild I think and I said this I will say this every time this was a I guess it was a professional development it wasn't an assembly because it was just the staff and I've said this before and I will say on every episode because it was the most wild thing I've ever experienced she hated releasing us to go to the bathroom so much for professional development she had a Urology is coming to teach us how to hold our Bladers are you serious that still drives me up a wall this wasn't a this wasn't a um uh like a state school it was the Head Start program which is federally funded so it's under Health and Human Service uh uh uhuh excuse me yeah I'm sorry but I need to do an honest teacher talk segment cuz I'm not good at segueing into my segments like you are we just going to call it what it there is some BS first of all let's have some honest teacher talk okay baby because the amount of times is a teacher that I have almost pissed my pants but these kids get to go to the bathroom every 5 seconds and I'm like I can't even laugh a little because I will pee because I've been holding my pee the dehydrate yourself I I held my pee from like 8:30 to 1:30 I was like I haven't went to the bathroom oh my gosh so I'm like I need to text somebody to go ask to go to the bathroom who on crap we should not the amount of UTI that teachers get because we have to hold this is ridic this is ridiculous a urologist you bro I'm I'm I'm fired up now swear I swear out the way hold her back hold her back no because it's that is some audacity don't you ever in your mother freaking life green no urologist in to teach me how to hold my pee how about you provide somebody to come in here talk a PE the audacity the audacity hey okay PD the let's see how many PE puns one number speaking of PE puns let's go back to that advice sorry sorry I think I think the the I think it's not even so much advice it's just like validating that like literally like it's not just you kids are whistling like kids kids are going to kids kids are going to kidss and as a teacher I do get so frustrated when we have like big assemblies and then all of a sudden the kids unionize and they just start in Havoc all together only all right can we not be doing this right now the rep comes like we dem man no more musical ones back his mouth I don't know why he has a cigar at like bird noises and making bird so oh man we're all for a teacher unions but the student Unions that's what scares when they come up and they're like less homework and less assemblies why is it though like every year the kids have like a single noise that they just continually say it drives me insane like last year it was like the like that God I love I love that you whispered it in a mic that can be turned up it was that all year and then like this year there's like the random humming of songs the and the meow a symbol I to y'all I it was driving me insane every five SEC assem assemble yourselves at my room cuz I can't listen to this did say did you say your kids made an meowing yeah in the middle of class meow that is so fifth grade random so F sometimes it's funny but then when they keep doing it I'm like all right that's enough and they catch you on a bad day and you're like I'm going to lose my mind one of my common catch phrases in the room is like thank you we don't need your sound effects like just all the time all the time sometimes I find myself at assemblies like a meow for example like have you ever gone to assembly where the entire school's getting repr maned for something like that's and you go there and then there's like one kid who does like a or something like that cuz you have to sit there pretend like that was not the funniest thing to ever be heard when they're reprimanded and it's dead Sil you hear that listen they're just trying to break the tension okay cuz they feel uncomfortable that would be me that show biz you know so one of my favorite uh assembly stories so this happened to um like a really really close family friend of mine his name is Luke shout out to Luke and um he he told me this story about when they had this assembly he was a middle school teacher and they had this this guy come in and teachers had no idea what this assembly was going to be they said here's an assembly it's going to be a motivational assembly hypnotist yeah you know how South Dakota likes their hypnoti yeah so so this guy shows up and he shows up with a guitar and he is just tall skinny long surfer hair looks like man he has lived he has lived and he he gets there he gets everything set up and it's they're blocked off for an hour it's an hourong assembly and he starts strumming on his guitar start he just starts singing singing trying to be motivational then he starts talking about like his years of drug use oh just starts just starts like singing all about it and all the teachers start looking at each other like high school this is Middle School this is this is 6 through eight they all start looking at each other like what in the world what's going on so then he start he's singing he's talking about doing drugs and then all a sudden he starts bringing out some puppets and then the puppets come out and he starts telling stories about doing drugs with his puppets and then I'm making this what kind of Puppets are we talking Marette are we talking like the the I did not I I did not ask what type of Puppets wait so when he's thinking about doing drugs is he just saying like I did drugs or is he like don't do drugs so so here's what made it really bad so I asked him like like all right singing about doing drugs what you mean he's like he's literally singing about smoking pot oh like not like don't smoke pot he's just singing like about smoking pot and then everyone's like this is so bizarre and they literally had to cut them off cuz they're like this is unraveling this is going bad this is supposed to be motivation yeah I don't know they came out like Showtime at the Apollo with the K them they thought start playing closing time as he's leaving they thought they're going to get like a motivational like don't do drugs and he just started singing about doing drugs why would they not vit him why would you but here's the thing common sense is not common at all that I think I think the hard drugs changed his brain and he didn't really think that one through very well what was the up with school doing like so many like anti-drug assemblies I was trying to explain to you guys the other day and you guys looked at me like I was crazy I'm like I'll just talk about on the podcast but when I was in high school we all the entire school went to the gym okay because it was we had I lived in Indiana basketball in Indiana is huge so every every high school gym is gigantic so the entire school's in there okay and there's a group of like probably college students but do you remember the SNL skit where they are they're the high school plays oh those and they're like wow it's like come out everyone's dressing like everyone's dressed like me black shirt and and jeans and they start doing Turn the song turn around turn around and that's all I can do and they each have like um a drug on them and then death and but then also like sex and all this stuff right okay is this like stars is that what we had like a group of like it was high school kids but they it was a group of high school kids it was like students and teachers against uh I don't know something they do like an interpreted dance decisions I don't know that does not star that doesn't say stars but like it was a it was a group of teachers and students that would put on like little performances to teach about like you know STDs drugs yes and I feel like you had cuz you were in Ohio youav they travel to like but she the girl would be dancing right and then it was an all interpretive dancing or like and then like someone come up they dance with her and then they' put their their like uh cardboard thing that was like Dr and she dance and then it'd be like STDs and she' dance and then like she kept dancing and then they put her in a coffin but it was to turn around and the the dance movie was only this only this the whole time and a group of high school kids watching this for three minutes to turn around and I thought if you told me if I do drugs I could to hear turn around for the rest of my life in my head baby like the Assembly of all 1,400 of us watching this and I was like we to this day we'll talk about an IND so I'm like please let me know they tour it I want them to be Broadway show that's a wild way to try to get your point across about not doing drugs and STDs be like I know how to get my point across interpretive dance like this will hit these kids will the assemblies that we had when I was in high school were always very serious like we had like I remember one we had that was about like domestic like abuse in relationships and this girl who was a domestic abuse Survivor literally came up and like we had to listen to her story which was compelling and made me cry like she literally was like abused by her boyfriend she left him and then he came to her parents house and like shot her in the face and she like came to the school and she had like scarring and but she surved high school during this yeah this was high school being like no no no because it was I mean it was an assembly about like being mindful of like they like watching out for your friends and like if your friends if you see a friend in an abusive relationship an adult like but for high school no no it was it was but I was just saying like all my high school ones were like really serious the only ones that were ever like hilarious where did you guys do like pep rallies oh yeah yeah man our high school pep rallies were hilarious because again same we had a giant gymnasium and the entire school would go sit in the gym and then almost always there was a group of senior boys that would get together with some teachers and come up with some like ridiculous dance and like I remember the one year they did um turn around no they did um an insync song and oh my gosh it was they had they like borrowed had me at insync they borrowed the cheerleading uniforms and tried to fit themselves into the cheerleading uniforms and were like going around dancing the amount of things that like phrases I'll say and I've been saying for years of my life they say he been saying go what yeah they'll stop me dead in my tracks and be like what did you say and I'll say it like that doesn't make any sense G I blame my foreign mother on that because she there was a language barrier with the Polish she speaks Polish and she says some words a little bit weird sometimes I I blame it on your school doing puppet assemblies and not boap assemblies all right so was here was another great assembly that we had so this was when I was in high school and it was it was a don't do drugs never had an assembly like that okay I again i' I've seen the study but I don't recall where I got it from I'll have to look it up but cuz we do like dare it's complete ineffective and they've said The more kids that go through dare actually end up trying drugs and alcohol at some point because you told me I would pee puke and pass out if I smoked like weed and I was like am I is that going to happen so your so this assembly um probably saw similar results because so the whole the whole thing was no so they had they had this Cop come in and they brought like three inmate inmates were in jail for drugs go and they had this one guy he he was a a long time meth head like long time and he wasn't all up there up top it wasn't all up there so what did they think was a good idea let's give this man a mic let let let's let him talk so they're talking about like how meth affects you and bad things and which obviously yeah meth is very bad yeah and they give him the mic and he goes all right I'll be honest with you guys no do meth for the first time greatest experience you'll ever feel were just like oh my God cuz then kids like oh I just can do it once and that be good oh my God like oh no and every principal teacher staff around the building just collectively yeah you just you just saw all all the staffs just be like oh and then the guy brought out his puppet yeah so so then he he just kept going and then it was to the point I was like guys just take the mic away from him like you see the train about to happen mic man the slap cuz you guys I mean we our assemblies are probably way different than middle school middle school I feel like they get like we had like Dan Dan the Puppet Man Who Would Do Marinette shows amazing which the name sounds a little weird but then did you guys ever I'm G to be showing orang here did you guys ever had Ronald McDonald come to your school no no Ronald McDonald came to your school the Theon MC he would teach you about he taught us about like conservan water and that's need be telling us about that water conservan water don't brush your teeth with water on but then he did this thing called if I please relaxation revocation do you know this okay and then he do this thing too where there was like a a like a like a TV and you'd be watching the TV and I it was something there's like a TV show that makes fun of and I was like and then he would do this he he would like leave the TV and then he'd come out and go from the other I was so like came out of the TV I'm in fifth grade I'm like this was magic in fifth grade we actually did have a really cool one like so at my old school every year they would do like a fire safety one but it was a the guy was a magician and he would I be having some stuff going on in it it was he actually did a really nice job like he would do all these magic tricks and then he would like teach the kids about fire safety like what do you do stop drop and roll what you need to have exits and a game plan for your house but like he Incorporated all these different magic tricks while he's teaching the kids and all the kids were like about it like they and he would call on volunteers and they would be so mad when they didn't get called on they get so mad because they wanted to go up on the stage and do a magic trick magic tricks are awesome we had an elementary school um when I when I was in elementary school we had you happened when the guy came with the yo-yos yes bro yo-yo that was lit the Nostalgia of thinking about that it's like is that freaking Spider-Man but with yo-yo like I forgot about that don't drugs X Games yeah did you guys ever have the jump rope people come yeah that was crazy jump for heart they'd be dancing and like tripling it and why no idea one time do you guys ever have the the fundraiser assemblies like I remember well yeah but I remember as a kid as a kid like sitting through these fundraiser assemblies where they're like you know what you're going to go you're not going to what are you not going to do not going to go door to door he's really like go door to door like they're we're broke go go sell these candles and chocolates to all your family members and you guys could win a yoyo it's like Oprah's Favorite Things every falling their eyes out the kids are like freaking out and I'm just like what like these couldn't be like the the worst prizes in the world and kids will go up like with their suitcase of like candies and chocolates up to their next door neighbor's house it's like if you sell $5,000 the raffle tickets you can get this drone which is worth $17.9 which is absolutely ridiculous and if you sell $8,000 you get to go to Pizza Hut and pizza be skinny as a personal P Pizza we had a school assembly one time that all it did was piss off all the teachers all did was piss all of us off they had it was one of those School assemblies where the whole school was getting in trouble because kids were not turning in work yeah and they weren't doing work at all like they would just sit there and wouldn't do anything so we had an assembly and the principal pretty much tried to threaten them and be like you're gonna fail you're gonna have to go to summer school if you don't do your work we know we won't and then turns around and and tells us that if if they even write their name on the paper and even like half of an answer or anything we have to give them a 50 I was like what is the purpose of and the kids they are smart like they know of course they do they know you can't they're like we know y'all can't give us a zero like we we know so so then they were on purpose be like well I don't feel like working a day I'll take a 50 and so you could like even if they sat there and refuse to do anything now I know there's the argument that a zero is a 50 is an f and so is a zero and it's hard to come back from you know if you give them a bunch of zeros and they you know have a change of heart and they they want to do their work it's easier to come back from a 50 I get it I understand but as a teacher it was just just felt so unfair sometimes they're going to sit there and students know this now that the school's not going to fail them because they want a good graduation so here's the thing this is what if your school wants to do this thing where they can if they have a change of heart a week before the semester and they want to do 12 assignments then you need to have a teacher whose only job at that school is to gradate work yeah that and not the teacher that that's teaching them because it's not your job to grade 12 assignment to give it to them as soon as as soon as they turn in I had a girl turn in I had a girl turn in late like she didn't to do anything the whole semester and I I her mom was like you know can can she do some makeup work and I was like sure like I want her to pass no one wants she turned in like 15 assignments and was like has my grade changed yet bro you just turned them in 20 minutes ago we in the middle of class I the next day she came in miss richon my grade hasn't changed bro I know I I I don't have time to put in I you doing English or math this was math so okay so even math then you like you have to check every answer to like if you're going to right no and she thoroughly filled it out but I was like I was trying to figure out like what was a what was a fair way to get cuz I'm like you did complete the assignments but I can't give you 100 that's not fair no to the kids that like they did their assignments on time but then I don't want to give you like right at a 65 or a 70 because your grade it's not going to boost your grade very much and I'm like you did do 15 pages of work so I was like thinking about that and I needed to grade it and I needed to lesson plan I was in the middle of teaching like I I'm all for giving students Grace like we are obviously like tell said not wishing any student to fail right I think there needs to be some checks and balances in place like if we have if we have some kind of like consistency throughout the school like okay if you have a student who had you know some kind of extenuating circumstance they couldn't get an assignment done for a few weeks and you they talked to you about it go for it you had a few extra weeks it's no big deal I'm not going to dock you for that you had situations going on at home whatever um but if you just have a kid who's like just refusing to do it and like you know you know there's no other situation going on just refusing to do the work like school should have some kind of system where it's like okay every day that it's late you miss like I don't know a quarter of a point or a half a point something realistic and I I think a lot of people that aren't in education and don't like right that that that aren't in a classroom from the outside looking in they'll be like oh well there's probably something going on with that kid there's probably something going on for some of them are some are but sometimes it's not that deep and the kid is just not doing work they know you can't fil them we talking about the kids who are like going through things like we are not we're not like trying to not be empathetic no we get that it's like you got to be honest with like I told you on when we got here Friday I was like I have three assignments I I graduate yeah next week but this will be you know um and I was like I third assignment I haven't turned in because I just didn't that's it that's the only reason why and that's on me and I em my professor I'm like no the reason other than I just didn't do it and they're like thanks for being honest but like I my thing is like when things are getting turned in late I think to myself how many times have I turned in lesson plans late just because there's something going on so like have that Grace but then also know like there are times that I was asked hey your R ples aren't in I was like they're not in because this is happening in my life and and then other times be that's on me usually in my class I like I'll set like a deadline like okay for my students like tomorrow they have to bring in their trifold board for our Rock and Roll Hall of Fame project that we're doing is due tomorrow really the real dead line it's Friday it's like to them it's due tomorrow to me if a kid doesn't bring it till Friday it's okay right it's like grace period yeah yeah it's a grace period and we want to teach the kids the skills of like hey you get your stuff done on time resp and we're also teaching them a skill if you don't get it done on time then you're going to have a conversation with your boss about what you're going to do it's just life skills you're teaching communication hour long assembly over not turning in your work in on time when it could be used for anything else like you you know Ron McDonald coming in or something but like theoy it's it's so much like assemblies professional developments where it's like this time could be used for something productive but to sit there you need to turn in your work hey guys you have to pass anyway giving it could have been an email it could have been an em so mad and then I found out legally I don't think some I have not looked this up but somebody told me legally they cannot tell us what to put in our great book so then they'll say for legal purposes like we just suggest but if you have zero hey they need I don't know if I don't think my school is like that my new school is not like baby I love my new school child I I was like this student won't do any work my principal was like zero my mind was like blown I was like can you give me some more explanation like and my principal graduated from Harvard like she is big brain yeah so assemblies give us a lot of WTF moments what are some other WTF moments you guys have had listen we had a teacher we had a teacher one time that was so stressed out that She fainted and and the kids I was class She fainted and she was standing up teaching y'all in the middle class and she passed out and I was so proud of my this this was when I was teaching sixth grade and y'all know how they act a fool I was so unbelievably proud of them because I was right next door to her they they came out real calm there were kids like around her in the room like trying to check on her a kid came out and it wasn't even like one of our like responsible kids it's like it was actually one of our like Class Clown kids and he came out he was like Miss Richardson Miss was that such such just faint it and I was like oh gosh and so I the kids the other kids were sitting down in their seats there were like three kids around her check I got I I have chills right now because I was so proud of them all we hear is the bad stuff did you guys this is going to be a bad news bear or it's going to be old news but did you guys hear about the kid who stopped the bus yeah that's awesome good for him I live under a rock tell if you don't know this I'm sure you'll know it by the time this episode comes out but the bus driver is driving and passes out has like like radio is over that they need to pull over passes out a seventh grade boy jumps out of his seat turn the bus was going into oncoming traffic he moves the wheel and and breaks the bus and checks in on and and then puts it in the park and yell the kid I'm sorry yell the kids as he stood up someone call 911 and did it yeah then the kids are like the kids are freaking out and like saying things he's like I don't care call 9 like he handled it and then at this time this happened this week at the time at that we're shooting this people reached out to interview him and he doesn't want to interview his parents are the ones doing it oh my gosh so sweet oh I hope that kid gets a full scholarship to wherever he wants to go we love you you said that you had a who passed out teaching I passed out teaching what I passed out when I was uh I showed the birthing video in class what how you going to pass out what video that you supposed to be showing you the teacher I know yeah I didn't watch it before what the hell Gabe no I I didn't I didn't preview the video before Gabe come on was you was you a first year teacher uh yeah yeah rookie mistake and then uh I saw the placenta come out and next thing I know there's a kid standing over me poking me like hey you good Gabe this is the that's the best thing I've he said yeah I just shutting my eyes for they had take a nap I was taking a long blink you sometimes you got I you got a nap you got you got to take a nap mid when he woke me up it was probably like a night terar like you seriously passed out 100% serious 100% bro never had hit the desk are you your head hit the desk de me like it was BR didn't even pass out gracefully did he did you think it was going to be like a like a like a silent movie like he just looks like he would pass out pretty like he would just like just slowly Drift Off to Sleep like like Sleeping Beauty on the ground in the movie her hair just like I'm really hoping that Gabe's head made that sound yeah gravity was not my friend gravity took over you know it was Hollows in there it's not gunit pass out not g passing out one of the other like biggest WTF moments I've ever had was was working at the first Middle School I ever worked at and we had a guy who broke into the school at the beginning of the school day and pretended to be pretended to be a sub so so here here's what ended up happening so wait isn't this the second guy to get into your school no no no it's the same guy hasn't heard this story he keep coming out he keeps coming back so wait what so it's the beginning of the school day and then kids start coming to my room they like Mr daning you wouldn't believe what's going on outside I'm like what like the cop is tackling a guy outside and I'm like what like yeah he tackled him and it was going crazy I was like that's really strange yeah and then like more kids kept coming in and saying the same thing I'm like this is weird and then we end up finding out what happened and here's what happened so this guy walked into the school when like all the teachers were showing up so like you know at the end of the day we get there 30 minutes early and he walked in and just random joeo it just baffles me that no one cuz like do you guys have to badge in here the doors were unlocked for a 15minute period so the teachers can get in so but they changed the security after that because of this so he walks in and he's just walking around the school and he goes into this random classroom and this is during like the peak of Co so like we were so short on sub so we always had random people that were subing so he's in a classroom going through these files and a a St member walks in and she's like hey are you are you looking for something and he's like no no I'm not looking for anything and something was wrong she's like something's not right so she goes and tells the SRO you're just rifling through my files I'm not looking for anything why don't you come in rifling through yeah so so the cop goes in goes into the room and he runs out he runs out and then the cop tackles the guy in in in that he tackled him in front of the school when all the buses were showing up like it was the worst time ever drop off parents were doing drop off and they're having a freaking wrestling match in on the grass in the front of the school and then we come to find out this dude finish this dude was tweaking out on meth he was tweak he had meth in his pocket was it the guy that did the assembly yes it was the same guy and it was the hypnotist so what is he dressed like here here's the thing like it's so that's that's the bad part so what what did he look like yeah he looked tired he looked emot drained looked like he hadn't showered in a very long time he literally looked like a teacher but what was he dressed like I don't really remember here's my thing like during Co we dress but we couldn't we we had to wear we started wear button-ups with a a collar shirt couldn't wear jeans so you're telling me that like I'm sorry if someone came in with a Overcoat full of pocket watches and I would the principals looked at the cameras and he walked by nine different staff members yay n i was one of them gab you got any files and you just didn't like like thing he's here subing it was during Co I didn't know everybody who worked at that school but well once again the dude looked tired he looked like he hadn't showered in a while probably had some stains on his clothes look like that's what like that would be the dead giveaway for me what did his clothes look like he was he was wearing like a T-shirt and jeans he just looked like a teacher like I don't know like we've all been there I've had some t-shirt and jeans yeah I guess I don't know it was school picture day like it was I'm not going to judge cuz I don't know what I would do you guys look I'm I'm not making this up in the slightest if you look this up sure there's plenty people walked by that I don't know who they are yeah that was that that was a bad deal so sorry tail just where the files he's he wanted to sell them I'm sorry okay I'm sorry what's he going to sell I I don't Social Security students contact info to a marketing company what is he going what's he looking for speaking of wearing wearing um like not great clothes to work i' I'm I'm probably ruined my entire comedy set but it just it goes so well with the episode um you're talking about fire safety yes so we had fire safety day at school in Pennsylvania right if you in I was like I've seen the firefighters here they so I was breaking my cardinal rule I wore like um a pair of slacks I liked which I never wear anything I like at school but this was during Co and I gained like literally 45 lbs so they buttoned but like I couldn't move in them but I was like I'm going to wear them anyways so at um our school uh in any Private School uh the state will come to do an assessment every four years or so but they come unannounced they don't tell anyone and they only observe two classrooms and then they rate the entire school out of five stars only two classrooms though I and my principal text me she's like when you get here I need to talk to you and I'm like oh God so I'm walking in guys I can't bend my knees oh I'm I'm Frankenstein in there how are you going teach preschool I don't know but I was like I was like do I a crab what is it bear Crawl Through the class oh my gosh just like just like worm my way places and I walk in and she's looking at me and she was like the state's here I was like oh gosh she goes they're observing your classroom like oh no so I go through the entire day trying like and impress them with these slacks didn't work at all uh because all of the firefighters were like 60 years old ah I so I'm disappointed right I have a child um you know the one that is always acting out um and knows that you're getting observed so you can't say anything and he Swan dives into our Center table of cotton balls and one gets lodged in his throat I'm looking over I'm like there's no way there's no way he's turned purple I'm like there's a way so I'm running over I'm I'm like I'm I I take him I like get down I'm giving the high like you have to Pat their back because they're so and I had to like rip theall this is being observed by the state and so I start Bing hysterically because it scared me he starts crying The Observer runs to get our principal and comes back in they're he needs to go home and they were like he he looks very upset like no the student like it was just like so I was like I need to chill I'm so upset right now I'm like I I have to calm down so we go outside and my friend my friend Jill's out there and she was like looking at me she's like tell how did it go I'm like good and I turn around she goes and no they I said what and she goes you you have a tear in your pants and I was like of course I do and I look down it's a tear from my hip to my knee oh and she goes how could you could you not feel that and I'm like no and I'm I'm mortified at this point I'm like do you think the Observer noticed of course um for sure I we didn't get we we we went from five to three stars that year I was say it wasn't over the they didn't give you five stars for saving a child's life no I I was like this is a gorgeous thigh I'm surpris to just stand back there and observe while you I'm surprised she ran to get somebody observe if how going to um how are you going to follow up with this are you going to keep crying why would you do that as an observer like are you going to sit there and watch whether or not this kid is going to be okay or you going to help I she she only she only watched me like like give him the high looking do that she didn't intervene at all but like I remember I was traumatized by this and I remember going back I'm like my pants and my principal was like go just go home just go home she was he he needs to go home not not him the student the student I was like I need to go home I'm I we got we end up getting three stars because of like other things that happened we ended up repealing we got our five stars back but they like it was that was good though because they were like he needs a support staff he needs this if you're going to have this amount of kids in the classroom so it was a benefit to me that's good but I when they told me three stars I'm like it was the ripped pants and they're like no is you're teaching we had that really bothers me no I'm sorry it really bothers me that the Observer literally sat there and watched this happen and didn't help help why would you do that say why would you do that she want I think I think she was like oh how is he going to handle this I don't think she I think she would have jumped in if she knew he was choking he was turning purple it was my big that was probably today one of my biggest WTF moments is having to give a child the the him lick but it's a conball con balls don't shoot out I reaching in there I was a mess I was that's like what I do to my dog when they're chewing on a toy and they get something and you're like like to the dog I mean I've had to finger swipe something out of Peyton's mouth that's what it was I was like sometimes I've had to do it to myself like there are things I hope I never have to do my teaching career and the to fast you guys have older kids okay hold on did you guys do with which was so funny to do with with prek kids um the first eight assemblies at your schools no God no so they come in and they do like a basic okay a basic basic first aid I was basic first what it's called stay in the so they show them Stu like that not everyone does it but they're just like this is what you should do and then like the fourth and fifth GRS can get their like um what's it called their babysitting card oh I did that yeah the American Red Cross does it yeah they come they you get a little babysitting license and oh my gosh if he did the test I don't remember my teaching first a training I remember my fourth grade I would be babysitter and like swiping like the mouth and stuff like that and it the weird thing is it changes but like for us for prek you still pat their backs if they're under and you like do the pinch thing for you guys you do the you like you have to take your Knuck that's what I couldn't do I could not I I mean I would do it for a kid if it saved their life but I so sorry I'm sorry but I'm about to pop you real no I was I was just going to say I like that like just sparked a memory I remember in fifth grade going cuz we had to stay after school for it we went to the the basement like music room and there were like 10 of us and we got like babysitting certified yeah and then I remember I went home and on Microsoft Word made these little like Lauren's Babysitting Service little like flyers and went around my neighborhood and put them in people's mailboxes I was like I remember doing that TR the bat train there was a little bat on the card it was basic Aid training and I was like I thought I was I thought this was when I got that card I was like I'm in the babysitters club but like I thought a book would be written about me listen see my my naive ass was like yes someone's going to hire me a 10-year-old child to watch their eight-year-old child like that's all the play it yeah this is a solid plan but they probably would you I know you would have gone there with like lesson plans at 10 been listen I know she would have she would she's a great Bor that was my game plan I was like I would hire me I don't know why you have two pigtails and a less measure like how my name is W like child and they're like okay what is that I forget I don't know what show it was but it's like hiring a dog or a horse to watch a dog oh no no it was someone some comedian makes that joke and they're like it's you know hi taller child coming to babysit my child like it's like having a horse watch a dog like you're not babysitting anything oh my gosh that funny we had one time uh this is like probably my biggest WTF moment the teacher passing out like that was crazy but the fact that this was crazier than that is crazy so I'm sitting at my desk and I hear like my my classroom in my old school was like right next to the teacher parking lot and the like football locker room or whatever and so the cafeteria workers would always Park like in the little back area like by the ca by the back door of the cafeteria and where the trash cans are and there was like a shed out there too so it was just kind of like the back of the school I'm sitting there and I hear the loudest bang and I was like was that a bomb like it was it literally scared me that I said like out loud it scared yes this one I taught sixth grade it scared me so bad it scared my kids so bad that they didn't even recognize that I said a cuss word because we all were like what is that so I look out the window there is a truck that has ran into the side of the school and the it completely took out y' it was crazy it completely took out the shed and ran into the side of the school and that's how loud it was because it completely decimated the shed so I'm like oh my gosh there like there was not a classroom there or anything like no no no no cuz that's where the cafeteria is back of did get through the wall or did it just crash in it it crashed in it tore the shed was completely gone the truck was in the shed wow I literally was like oh my gosh one of the seventh or eighth graders has stolen somebody's vehicle and they can't drive so they ran into the shed do you know what it was one of our sweet little older cafeteria workers her husband had just gotten something done to her truck and it her it got stuck the gears got stuck on her gas pedal and I don't know I don't know what I don't know like whatever wiring they did it somehow turned the gas pedal into the brake and turned the I don't even know how that's possible but it got stuck when she tried to back up it turned into the gas and ran straight into y'all oh my gosh the heck I felt so bad for her I was like she's like she was so Str she was like I'm so sorry she was like I don't know it scared the crap out of me cuz it's the loudest sound I've ever heard I was like what is that okay yes my line head is saying did he cut her brakes did was there an insurance policy out on her I can't stand you and teachers off duty this week we investigate in a six part series break my heart now you got me feel now you got me thinking like did he come breaks like don't go break in my car wow listen okay so when I was in sixth grade the W like the wildest thing that ever happened to me in school was um our our building used to be the old high school and it was literally built in like 1912 it was like old good year yeah and so this is like 200 5 six mhm we're in the middle of class it's like almost end of the day and all of a sudden we hear this huge crashing sound and we look down the hallway and there's like out of a classroom coming like plumes of like dust and like just like you know powdery sub whatever it was the whole ceiling of the classroom caved in oh no luckily oh my gosh there weren't any kids in the room y whoa there they were it was the teacher's prep period so no kids were in the classroom the teacher I don't no one was hurt I don't know where she was no one was hurt they closed down school for 2 days um then during those two days what their their game plan was was they had a construction crew come upstairs to the top floor cuz like it was a three floor building on the um the main floor was the eighth grade and then seventh and sixth and fifth were on the top floor the top floor we had when we came back to school they walked us up there we had to get everything out of our lockers and then we were looking around they had taken like steel GS and like beams and like reinforced the ceiling on every hallway the top floor was banned the rest of the year no one was allowed up on the top floor I would hope and then we had class it was literally like March or April we had class until the end of the year like in the gym in the hallways in cafeteria like we had we had no classrooms upstairs we had to keep all of our belongings from our lockers like they had the girls keep their stuff in the girls locker room the boys had keep their in the boys locker room we literally had school like that for the entire rest of the year and then the next year um they fixed the whole ceiling and corrected like the the Gars or whatever and did what they needed to do to reinforce the building and then my eighth grade year I was the first class in the new Middle School building that they built yeah probably about time for that the school sat there for like years later like at least 10 years because it they couldn't tear it down because there was so much asbest they had to get it removed first and it was too expensive to remove and it was crazy Lauren is uh I won't say where you live but close to Pennsylvania yeah I'm right on the if you don't know anything about that this Ohio Pennsylvania area there's a lot of old schools right now if you just look up Philadelphia and asbest right now because there are so many schools that for the rest of the year are on Zoom because they found out that Philadelphia have as an asbest problem it was yeah yeah like all these old old buildings what the heck yikes the Columbus City Schools they were all they were all um striking because their schools are ancient they have no air conditioning they have like rodent infestations now your water's poisoned yeah right I mean I'm I'm literally 30 minutes from East Palestine where the Train derailed like it's not that is oh it's oh we we rough in Ohio right now guys but thank you guys for tuning in this week we'll see you next week peace out bye [Music] friends thanks for sticking around with us it means a lot to me and for one view a day you can support our podcast but you can also subscribe to us and hit the little ringy button so it notifies you every time we have an episode out go to Spotify Apple podcast wherever you listen to your podcast and give us a festar radio and um I lost my beach ball it might be in one of these two videos just click on one please

Channel: Teachers Off Duty Podcast

Views: 97,991

Keywords: Teachersoffduty, teachersoffdutypodcast, teacher podcast, comedy, lauran wooley, tell williams, mrwiliamsprek, Prekpause, mrswooleyin5th, Gabe Dannenbring, g_unit24, bored teachers, teacher story, teacher storytime, student story, teacher humor, student stories, classroom stories, funniest things students say, teacher life, teachers, School Assembly, Middle School Motivation, NSYNC Pep Rally, Drug Assembly, Fundraising Assembly Skits, Student Heroes, Classroom Comedy

Id: JR8PgvqGV8U

Length: 47min 2sec (2822 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 25 2023