The Key to Self Development | A Monk's Perspective

[Music] good evening everyone today i wanted to talk about self-development and specifically what is the one thing that gets in the way of people doing self work also the thing that slows down someone's self work so today i wanted to talk about the changes that you all are making out there i want to talk about the changes that the new men who come into the monastery and how they develop themselves i'll give you a real example of how people can slow down their progress like what is the one i don't want to say mistake but what is the one thing we need to pay attention to that interferes with our work and also our progress and then we'll sum it up at the very end but to start off for the people out there what i get so excited about is we're developing a community where many people are now starting to realize how important self-work is you are taking so many steps because of the quarantine because the changes that are happening with our society our cultures you're getting more wiser you're getting older things are changing and you're realizing that hey i need to invest in myself and i need to do the work and the work for many people out there is you're starting to change your habits you're starting to see that maybe i need to fix this part of me maybe i need to change how i think maybe i need to change how i talk maybe i need to change how i behave so some of you who are following are starting to take up meditation mindfulness practices you're engaging in donna practices meaning generosity volunteering of your time you are following and cleaning your schedule some of you are following the morning routine that we talked about before some of you are incorporating an evening routine but the great work that everyone is doing out there i just want to keep encouraging you and it's different and it's new and it's wonderful so just keep it up the same thing that is happening when people or when men come into the monastery we have an ordination program where international men leave their old lives behind and they wanna delve in deeper into their practice to learn how the west specifically in buddhism how do they train the minds and when the men come in they enter in a whole new world that is so different and so uncomfortable for them and the great part is that they're so open to learning this new system and this way of life when we are talking about the monastery especially ordination in the theravada tradition this is the ultimate self-development work because in buddhism we're training our minds we're changing our habits and again we're focusing on our specific work and in this environment then they corporate the 227 precepts they focus on their morality training they focus on their cleanliness outside with being orderly with being punctual and this is just a new set of lifestyle so just like all of you at home who are developing yourself and in the monastery is the same thing as well when the monks then slowly adapt they start to adjust themselves to the new environment it takes time and they do very well because keep in mind that they're leaving everything they're in a new land and for you to come out here and take the time to ordain that means you're fully open and you want to grasp the program and the men do so well with the arms round the new schedule the new way to dress the new living the new hairstyle you know all of these things they adapt and i say around the two weeks three week mark then you start to see some of the cracks and what we do in the monastery like i shared in other videos is we participate in rabbun and that is just chores we do our own personal chores by ourselves and we also do a group community chore this is an example that i want to point out and highlight but this is the maze that we did at the paper meditation retreat so this project for us took about two months to make and it took a lot of manpower it deceptively looked very easy to build but the amount of time and how difficult it was i just took a lot of energy and it took a lot of time but in the beginning it was just very fun we got to interact with each other we got to use it as an activity to get to know one another and everything going great and then like i said what you start to see is then people's old habits starts to creep up then some of the new monks will begin to complain about the other monks then this person is not working as fast this person is not contributing as much did you see how this person came late how this person is slow this person doesn't pull their weight this person is and the list goes on and on and on then we after that had a meeting just with the new monks to iron out some of the kinks allow them space to kind of process and share what's happening and for me what went through my mind was what is it that we're trying to do i understand that we're building a maze we're doing an activity and of course everyone wants this to turn out but for me the biggest mistake that i find is that when people are doing their own self-development work they're starting to change themselves just like all of you are doing out there it's wonderful but i find the biggest mistake that people make then is then they lose the mindfulness then they put too much energy and attention into the outcome of that activity they put too much attention and focus on the interaction between the people and yes those things are important but it's not primary and in my opinion i just think when it comes to someone's progress of self-development i hope i'm making this clear but the mistake people make is then we get critical of other people we get critical of the task and instead what we should be doing is looking at ourselves in that moment and when we don't do that we miss that opportunity so use that opportunity use that events use that task use that interaction to see yourself not other people and how they behave and what they're doing but imagine now when we are doing the maze what you should be doing is using that focus that you develop from your meditation again meditation to develop the skill of observation see things as they are see yourself as you are see others as they are so now take this lens and observe yourself in this making of the maze in this activity how do i behave how do i think how do i talk and the wise one i find then they get to explore themselves they keep their eyes on themselves at all time just like the message that i shared in another video keep your eyes on your own bowl and this wise person then they use the activity and they said wow today i realized that i'm very controlling like when we're in a group setting and we're doing an activity together i like to be the boss this wise person then will observe themselves and they will say wow i'm very i noticed i'm very impatient when it comes to a task i'm very harsh with my speech i'm very manipulative are you the type of person that will show up to things late on purpose so then the other people will do the work for you and then you can come in last minute and again this is not good this is not bad but each opportunity each task each interaction gives you one more chance to do what and they're doing what is to look at you and this is the key part and why this is so important is because you need to recognize your patterns and if you do not recognize your patterns meaning you're unconscious and you don't know then what happens is in the next situation you will repeat your pattern again just like a robot automatically without any thinking you will go back to these patterns so what observing yourself does catching your pattern then in the next moment in the next activity then you can recognize it then you can see yourself and notice there it is again this is how i am i'm too attached to task i'm too attached to praise and validation and then when you are aware and you can catch yourself then what that affords you is an opportunity to make new choices now this is where the change happens and you realize you're like oh this is how i speak i'm so critical and in this new moment this new time with this new awareness let me make new choices and you keep doing that over and over and over again and why i share this really is because like i said the people out there or all of you out there and also the new men coming to the monastery always start out doing a great job and they're mindful and their focus and then somewhere along the line snap and they forget this thing and this thing is the most important and for me i can relate to this because when i came to the monastery i wanted to not change myself but i really wanted to just transform and my work really was keep your eyes on your own work at all times yes this person can do this or talk this way yes this person will behave that way whatever because i cannot control them and i would do my best and keep studying myself i will in every activity notice my patterns i would go put it in the journal and observe my sign i thought it was hilarious and i thought it was like a fun little game where i would catch myself and i would say there it is again i'm so critical i'm so judgmental i do this this is how b i behave this is how i think this is how i talk and just keep catching yourself and observe just neutrally do not judge so now coming back to you you're watching at home and i thought it was important because you're already doing the work so try to keep the continuity going do not lose the focus and just know that if you get distracted and now you're judging the work and the other people and how things should be this way and that way you just lost the whole focus and it slows down whether you want to believe it or not it slows down and it distracts you from the real work which is you and keep developing yourself uh keep doing the hard work and keep changing yourself but i hope that makes sense and i hope that helps but this is just something that i've noticed with the men who come here to ordain the new monks and i hope this wisdom is helpful for you and as always blessings to you from thailand i share my merits and my blessings here with you and be safe and take care [Music] you

Channel: Nick Keomahavong

Views: 100,956

Keywords: a day in the life of a monk, monk, monks, buddhist monk, life of a monk, monk life, the life of a monk, the daily life of a monk, buddhist monk perspective, a day in the life of a buddhist monk, buddhist monk wisdom, a monks perspective, nick keomahavong, the key to self development, self development mistake, how to develop oneself, self development monk, buddhist monk self development, buddhist monk improvement, self improvement with monk, self development with monk, buddhism

Id: LJH0wz4DoCM

Length: 14min 23sec (863 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 22 2021