The Insane Scooter for European Executives: Suzuki Burgman 650

hello i'm a faceless businessman my life is as unique as that gray sedan or is it that one er [Music] so [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] executives [Music] look a burlwood trimmed glove compartment for my favorite five cell phones just like a mercedes e-class then another for my five work phones and another for my four burner phones which i never used to call sex lines [Music] heated seats heated grips abs this is a sophisticated executive sedan this happens to have two wheels but businessmen need to carry many important things oh my travel pack of business cards bone silly and rail font very nice it fits my briefcase [Music] anyway there's still room for more businessman kit [Music] some spare rope my knee pads and four kilos of that yup for those that's 56 liters in total lit lockable watertight i'm sold on conducting a feasibility study of including the mergmen and my potential long list of considered vehicles [Music] [Laughter] our market analysis puts the luxury scooter in the same category as the bacon latke sounds great but when you think about it might not be many buyers yet here's one consumer i've had over 50 motorcycles in my life hardly used hondas but i bought a birdman as a joke and now i never ride anything else my comfy chair echoes this engineering uniform will waste any motorcycle while keeping my khakis spotless bold yet ubiquitous claims merit further study [Music] this scooter packs a 630 cc parallel twin and it's a suzuki half a moosa at 160 millimeters wide the rear tires ripped off a ducati monster only the wheels are 14 inches short so it turns more nibbly [Music] since the engine is under floor at the height of the discs there's less dive and manual mode puts the scooter in scuderia with tiptronic thumb shifters that are quicker than clutching this side of a racetrack can confirm our bergman handles better than most motorcycles i still maintain that having a 638 cc scooter is like having a 638 millimeter wiener ostensibly that's more masculine but show it to a lady she's just gonna think it's weird then again there's something hilarious about a scooter that will spank leader bikes with lazy shifters passing cars at 190 with your loafers crossed is also a rare joy [Laughter] great so let's pause the power discussion because it's actually the gearing gearing that's special most scoots have constantly variable transmissions oversimplified the cvt is a belt on a conical pulley that drives the rear wheel as you speed up centrifugal force moves the belt further up the pulley widening the gear ratio alongside your speed power spread all the way up the speedometer with no gear changes or with infinite and continuous gear changes if you prefer to see the glass half full of piss i'll pour more urine in your cup by mentioning belt torque i'm sure centrifugal drivel wants to throw the belt outward but tension on a ramped pulley that makes it want to pull inward slip slip slip surge even this 50cc wimp is enough to screw with its cvt belt so if cvts don't like torque and bergman's are 62 newton-meter torque monsters how do we marry the two the secret as in most marriages is forced compliance suzuki patented a gear-driven system that moves and holds the variator wherever its ecu deems optimal so in automatic mode our bergman actually does wind up flawlessly it feels and sounds like my own private jet turbine the more i twist my wrist the more it pulls constant power from zero to damn near 200. [Music] i could tell you the bergman goes zero to 60 in 6.8 seconds i can tell you that the mona lisa is 77 centimeters tall but that's not the point it's the power delivery that's a masterpiece [Music] [Music] why are we back here now if it's faster than half the motorcycles nimbler comfier stabler no heat drier weather protection better storage you can step through with bad knees shift with arthritic thumbs i mean why aren't we all out riding burdens bad marketing the suzuki tempter sounded like a sex predator the suzuki gladius sounded like a receptionist and the suzuki bergman sounds exactly like a 600 pound scooter not such a bad thing in continental europe where scoots are cool and near motorcycle scoots or even cooler but in north america the maxi scooter suffers the same fate as the maxi pad where being close to something sexy somehow makes it not sexy at all sexy i'll take it i'll take you meaning oh no [Music] do [Music] the bergman executive is gone discontinued leaving only its memory on the faces of businessmen you

Channel: FortNine

Views: 1,341,305

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Id: zJPCuJ7Eaxg

Length: 10min 24sec (624 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 17 2021