The Impact of Drug Abuse on Veterans | DOPESICK NATION (Episode 8)

the moral of the story is we all can afford a little change we just got to listen to what our brothers and sisters are saying change your mind give it up for this next artist coming to the stage give it up for frankie holm where are you at frankie there you go how you doing give it up and break me right quick all right so um this is something that i wrote to myself to remind myself where i came from but also to uh people still struggling with addiction to the attic who still suffers what's up man i'm an addict too me i did all that dumb that you said you would never do stick a needle in my arm i'd never do that that was 20 years ago now i'm covered in tracks so why do you got to follow in the shoes that i step when everything i did i try to forget i try to remember by helping people like you by doing this i refuse to lose this keeps me fresh remembering where i came from this keeps me fresh so i don't have to be numb to the attitude still suffers yeah i'm an addict too so take my hand i can get you out of here just do what i do thank you guys [Applause] someone says you can go to florida and get clean what could possibly go wrong found a kid over to he's i don't know he's on the side of the railroad track all these kids think they're coming down here as a person trying to get their life together to some of the places they're going to they're not a person at all they're a policy number help us help these kids and not die today i'm on my way right now to uh like boy boynton delray beach border uh over by the homing inn to meet this guy scotty apparently he's been struggling for a long time he had some time clean um he fell off he's currently living in this park i have a friend that had actually called me about him a couple days ago he's got to kill him to see a friend living out there like this just out here squatting man living grimy living gutter on the streets man you know i know what it's like to be homeless in south florida i've done it down here myself a few times especially on a day like today where it's like rainy you can tell man you know he probably doesn't like it too much i'm hoping it's like a wake-up call for him what's up man good morning how you doing i hug dude okay how you feeling bro not good i'm not good no i i i slept right here last night oh did it rain overnight it it did oh man how'd you how did you lose your leg bro was that consequence of addiction no no cancer cancer yeah 30 years ago i lost my leg to cancer they started giving me cups of pain pills and they kept prescribing me paying medication that i believe is where my addiction really started [Music] here i wanted to give you this in case you lose your phone over the next couple days it's got my number on it my phone is the only thing i have i'm i'm not gonna lose it i know what you mean thank you frank absolutely man so what happened i know you're staying on buddy's couch for a little while you just can't stop theater a four pack and a female messed everything up i messed up after 16 months clean and let me be 100 honest with you it was loneliness it was loneliness everybody else gets girlfriends and there was i didn't and i and i just couldn't stand being by myself anymore i meet one girl bought a four pack went back to the motel with her she reaches into her bra pulls out a stem puts a rock on it hits it and how long you've been running since then uh about a month now you get a hell of a story bro you've been through a lot i have been too long you gotta be tired i am tired i had never gone 16 months without using before that's a long time bro i i want to get back to that life so bad if we could have you in a place in a couple days i mean would you be like ready to like as soon as we call ready to go without question i just want to know that like once you get there you'll be willing to like you know go along with the program and do whatever is required and my friend i'm ready i'm i'm ready i believe you i full-heartedly believe you okay thank you my friend no problem bro okay for me talking to scotty today i feel like he's willing i i do have confidence but i don't have a scholarship available before you go into treatment man your mind starts turning and you want to get as up as possible before you go i just hope between now and the time that uh we get him ready to go into treatment he doesn't fold to that man because i really believe that if he starts smoking crack or shooting dope it's going to be twice as hard to find him man once that monster wants to be fed that mother wants to be fed i'm dave ehrenberg state attorney for palm beach county i'm essentially the district attorney i got my start in fighting the opioid epidemic back in 2001 when the attorney general called me into his office i was an assistant attorney general at the time and he asked me to look at this new drug on the market called oxycontin something no one had ever seen before it's like a horse pill people were getting addicted and dying [Music] we knew it was dangerous but in florida the pill mills not just enabled this crisis but exacerbated a pill mill is a pain clinic that has one treatment and one treatment only pills in fact the pill mill in florida was different than the pill mills in other places because in florida the doctors not only could prescribe they could also dispense it was one-stop shopping i-95 was nicknamed the oxycontin express we had caravans of people driving from appalachia or from other states because they knew it was a race to the state with no regulation you just came in the doctor saw you for five minutes issued you a prescription for hundreds or thousands of powerful pills and then they gave you the pills on the spot florida finally turned the corner in 2011 the pill mills were shut down all of a sudden oxycodone deaths dropped dramatically but just because you shut down the pill mills doesn't mean the demand goes away now you have a nation hook on opioids where do they go heroin [Music] no one understands about addiction it's not like they're like oh this is my girl this was my goal i was a kid and you know in third grade i had to like do a report on what i wanted to be when i grow up and i said a flaming serious heroin junkie and i want to be homeless and i want to like be a slave to a drug that's illegal and sucks like that's not like what anyone's like life goals were as a kid and so now that they're growing up they feel hopeless and they feel helpless and when they don't see a way out they rather just die because they can't imagine living the rest of their lives like this so that's how tia feels tia is 27 years old she's an artist she loves to paint and draw and she loves music hey she begs to get sober i mean she's called me every day hi all right i'm gonna head inside all right honey cool what do you typically use my biggest issue has always been opiates for me like such a big thing was pain because i have rheumatoid arthritis which i've had since i was a really small kid and and also lupus [Music] when i was 12 i was prescribed uh well first it was codeine i pain pills and you know all pills have always been part of my life since i was young but um my mom was an addict and my mom was on pills also you know and she's the one that really like taught me how to hustle and how to do all this as deep as it is but then it turned from opiates to heroin so it's kind of where i'm at now i've been you know taking pills and using pills every day you know if i'm sick it's like well i gotta do something until i get right [Music] what's your plan for like the next few days i don't know i did yesterday to not be sick and i even threw that i threw my rig out of the window it was kind of symbolic because like right after i did it the plunger snapped it's like all right oh here it goes it starts now starting a couple days can reveal a lot we have about two days until this bed's open for her she got high today her needle broke she says it's very symbolic symbolism is great until you get dope sick and you're puking and your pants [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] well hey dad how you doing nothing [Music] what's going on how's your day it's good well i was dealing with this girl tia her mom like was the first person who like gave her pain pills and like it's kind of like up you know and it was like the same way your mom was the first one to give you a frigging value right yeah it's like 12. yeah 12 13 14 17 yeah i mean what was it five seven i got you at seven yeah you got me at seven and then when she came around what happened a nightmare nothing but trouble but i don't feel like i get that upset over it anymore you've been dealing it for 20 years ally yeah no i know you know when she comes she didn't come around for years at a time yeah came around for a month or two at a time yeah wreaked havoc and left right and left so that's why it's us yeah it's for your severino whatever her last name is we don't know that i don't know she's got so many different ones [Music] all right thank you bro you want more cheese for your other half maybe man i got this uh this dude scottie i think he's 54 50. really yeah he's older you know so what's he doing drug wise i mean everything yeah drug wise with heroin well he had the way he lost his leg is he had bone cancer so he's always had you know like opiate problems scotty only has one leg yeah so he's doing like heroin plus his prescriptions plus he like drinks like tons every day really yeah and he smokes crack when he's got the luxury too he kept saying how lonely he was really yeah like loneliness is like the worst right because what makes you not feel lonely drugs they're your best friend hi it's me heroin your bff let's hang out yeah like you won't be lonely anymore after you hang out with me so what's going on everything okay this injury on my necks originally from a car accident i overdosed in miami off of one bag of dope tiniest bag i've ever seen it was car fentanyl [Music] apparently i hit three parked cars floored it again and rear-ended a city bus at like 40 45 50. next thing i know there was blood on my neck and i asked what happened i was like did i hurt anybody and they're like no you didn't but you need to stay home and die yourself [Music] the back of my neck right now is like a cut like this line looks like i had spinal surgery i just started leaving my neck uncovered so it can finally get air but i had to start my day off by like putting bandages on you know what felt like a blister and then taking them off at the end of the day like it was just hell i look at pictures from like my past and with me with my confidence and my self-esteem but it's getting to the point where i wear my scars like the rings on a pimp you know what i mean like and i go out with that and i still try to do what i do because i know that it's a part of my story and not who i am it shows the reality of this none of us are immune i'm sorry i'm stinky and smelly and everything like that but that's that's the life in the street i don't like staying here because because what happens here at night time it's not cool at all two or three guys like offering me to go into the bathroom you know 50 60 70 i'm like please leave me alone or i'm going to call the cops this is where i would sleep this is kind of home base i had 16 months clean life was great going out every weekend going to south beach down in dade county swimming every weekend i was healthy going to the gym all the time going out to eat all the time going to meetings every day everything was good i didn't think at least for another day that i was gonna use but uh my mom uh passed away from diabetes diabetes and i left delray beach to bury my mom i come back and my dad passed into sleep i'm school of having two parents to no parents with no brothers or sisters loneliness is a mother man it really is that that's what i really didn't care anymore i never thought that this would ever happen ever especially after having 16 months and everything being good to to to sleeping underneath the tree in the park but as long as i wake up in the morning as long as i have breath i have hope as long as i have hope i have a chance to get clean again [Music] doing okay yeah i'm okay jump in and talk yeah absolutely obviously you need to wait for there to be the bed available at the facility yeah i don't want to be sick the next couple of days you know until i go in there that is like i hate that you know because especially withdrawing on top of already having like other physical pain it's like you know it's gnarly have you ever overdosed yeah multiple times um some of most of them all were like suicide attempts how many times did that happen i've overdosed like four or five times and intentionally three do you think your mom has a lot to do with your addiction yeah i do she just is the person that knows how to push every single button and make me feel like useless in like a second you know it's like when my mom was normal she's like super mom she was like a cheerleading coach and cooking was like i idolized her and then she would become this monster man but i remember like the moment like it switched like the moment like i like hardened me like so clearly in my head i was um i think only like 12 or 11 or close to 13. it was when she was drinking all the time and sorry dude okay and uh i was like hysterically crying and like just the look of like disgust in her face and she goes ugh what the are you crying about and as soon as she said that it was like a switch went off in my head and i just all the tears stopped and i looked her right in her face and like i'm not crying about anymore like it just hardened that you know like freaks me out i'm sorry no like i don't like my mom a lot when i was little i lived with her in orlando actually yeah and i went to disney with like it was like my dad's ex-girlfriend uh she took me up there without my mom and you know i had a great time i was like seven i like had like mickey ears on and i'm like yeah i tell my mom all about this trip like i had so much fun yeah and i came home and i opened the door my my apartment i we lived in was cleared out my mom packed while i was away and moved and didn't even know that my mom was leaving like no one knew what to do but i remember seeing beer bottles and all the trash cans and i remember thinking oh i should move drunk again and um then i started living with my dad but i've always forgiven her a little bit you know like jamal i grew inside of you right right you love me like you love me right like yeah it's like i understand that you're devin you have an issue but how can you just abandon your kids right it's heavy man do you want tissue yeah i'm sorry oh you're good i cry every day are you kidding me i really do the ones that have the toughest time getting sober are the victims i thank you for everything that's what i think her biggest obstacle is going to be in the future she has to become a survivor of everything that's the past not a victim to her circumstance just bring me some liquid crack yes did oh look what else i got is frank nice nice right that's like your kind of knife i know hollow like girly and abalone looking and yeah if i can use this right now how exciting will that be like come at me with my pretty ass knife we're gonna use the other car wash like i said i want my tires shot right he's getting my nails too huh yeah so what's your plan stan i didn't have a plan no i'm like that too i don't really plan you know i mean like yeah i do but i don't like this guy named scott actually gonna try to give him a call i just want to make sure he didn't uh go off on a run hello hey what's up scotty still breathing uh other than that um everything is good everything's good did you smoke today no no no getting high today at all cool did you drink did i drink i don't care if you did i mean no no no no no i did so i could stop shaking i did and that was like seven o'clock okay cool man uh so you want good news yes you're going to rehab tomorrow are you kidding me yeah man i had to get it approved anything but tomorrow's the day yo you're the man dude you're the one doing the work one more time late night or something like that nine or ten o'clock or something like that just to let you know that i'm still good perfect man give me a call okay no problem love you brother later okay okay so i just missed the bus so we're going to meet with tia last night she got kicked out of her friend's house that she was staying at because she got smashed and it was a sober friend so she was you know supposed to be staying sober i don't know how long she's gonna make it in this area this is like such a bad place you know there's chickens in the hood that uses this are you gonna talk to cynthia or make amends with her i mean yeah i have talked to her and because i kind of like saw it coming like someone who's like sober especially if they go to a meeting they're gonna be like okay i shouldn't have someone maybe drunk in my house even though she could those go to cave barn whatever the else it's like it's cool dude like if you feel uncomfortable like whatever cool but yeah she knew where i was coming from when i came here yeah i feel you do you care if i sit no sit i'll sit by you so where are you staying tonight at the moment fleet bag motel man yeah does it really suck dude it literally looks like a person died and they forgot to like wipe the blood off you really yeah dude it's gnarly i'm a little high and a little drunk right now and i don't think i'm being that much of an but like the most i am and that i can be my biggest potential is when i'm stoned or alone yeah you know yeah yeah turn into the you don't want to take me and turn yeah i can turn off sober too and be and i think that's because i was like i lost my virginity to rape i was molested by a family member so have you ever been able to like work through any of that at all like that kind of stuff with the therapist somewhat but this is the first time i really like opened up and talked so much about the things that have happened what's gone because it's like i still associate like what happened with shame yeah it's like you should have been stronger like that's associated with weakness [Music] to a degree i've worked through some of this but a lot of it hasn't because it's like i don't even know like i have angers i don't want my family to be judged i don't want to be judged myself i don't want the things i've been through to have other people look at me and like define me as a person because of the things i've been through so it's like but i think it's like the things that you've been through and how you come out the other end is like the judgment you know what i mean to see someone who's been through so much and go through so much and deal with it and come out you know like there's something inspirational about your story you know and when you get sober you'll help a lot of people which is what i hope doing you know you're going to be sitting here and some other girl will be sitting here and she'll be able to confide in you you know and that's what really that's what it this whole thing is you know that so those things are important you know no matter how you feel about them true like if i could help like one other person or like you know it's worth it it's worth it so worth it and you have to start thinking that way i haven't heard from scotty yet it's kind of strange because he is so adamant and gung-ho about checking in you know what i mean i am going to go check on him i'm sure that his battery just died or could be taking a nap but then again man he could be dead he could be in jail [Music] this whole area it's really well known for like prostitution a lot of homeless people stay there i would say there's at least an ambulance there once or twice a day probably about three four fatal overdoses a week last time i saw him he said he was sleeping over here like in this area it's a big park though man so he could literally be anywhere scott scott scotty oh that smell dude [Music] i meet a lot of people man and like i've never seen somebody so willing and determined to go and scotty where are you dude it's just if you don't want to be found you're getting high you change your mind you don't want to go to rehab guess what i'm probably not going to find the guy you know i know you couldn't find me he could literally be dead right now like people are dying out here every day from this disease man it just freaking scares the out of me honestly when i first first first met frank what seven years ago hmm high school had open right mm-hmm i mean that's when i ever had time sober and was doing good and was working and he came down for something and then left and i was like the only number he had and his mom called ball and you know he od he's in icu he couldn't even talk and that's why i let him detox on my couch at the office he did okay for a little bit and then and caught him panhandling on atlantic avenue but uh you know but then he turned it around though and he started doing great you know yeah well it's like he's always going in a way oh i have to fix this i have to fix this i have to fix this and he like takes his whole book bag with him and he said that he's always sweating you know what i mean and if he's carrying around a bookbag and coming out of place he's dripping sweat i mean two plus two equals 4. i'm just saying that i'm probably a [Music] a relapse comes from one bad decision an addict will convince themselves that they can use one more time they believe this time will be different this time i'm going to do x instead of y and this is how i'm going to make it work [Music] hey gary what's up man uh i'm chilling dude about to go home just calling to check in a lot of resentments building up and stuff like we do need to meet up soon i don't know i might even want to start my steps over since i went through that little incident you know what i mean i'm just scared i know you do i know that's why you're my sponsor scotty finally got a hold of me um thank god all is well he basically was able to sleep at a friend's house last night so he wasn't tempted thank god man because i know he's ready today's the day day one i'm shaky i'm jonesing if if if i had any money i i probably would have bought a cap of heroin and sniffed it this morning he's had a hard hard battle out here on the streets gone through a lot of and uh he can start his new life today you know i was worried about that what's up brother man how are you feeling today challenging shaky yeah yeah yeah of course got about an hour you'll be medicated hour and a half okay okay yeah so this is my mom um she runs heroin foundation where are you hi mom i'm a hugger can i give you a hug hugs not drugs okay proud of you man you're making a big step today hey you have uh you have a great sound right there i'm a little partial i think so too yeah how you feel about today man oh nervous not really nervous because i know that i'm getting ready to get my life back in order um i want to cry because i didn't mess my life up you know um other than other other than that i'm just like i don't really know know what to expect or anything like that but um i trust you and um as long as i trust you i know i'm in good hands i think i'm gonna be okay you ready to go do this let's go do this let's start your new life now [Music] [Music] hi guys hey devon hello thanks for coming hi scotty nice to meet you and thank you for having me by the way no problem so bro man this is it dude i've never seen somebody so grateful as you bro like i want you to know like you restored my hope today bro you restored my gratitude man respect man make you proud of me you can do this bro you're not lonely anymore thank you i love you love you too okay no more being alone dude you got family now thank you bye mom love you i'll see you all right let's get you set up thank you for a couple of days before you go to treatment so many things can go wrong people are willing to do dumber to get high right before they go to treatment started feeling crappy because it was such a like big period of time from the last time i did something so i started to feel sick again how long does it take to get sick yeah it depends but especially when you inject when you inject pills it fades a lot faster the effects i wake up already withdrawing and feeling terrible i genuinely feel like i'm dying i want to crawl out of myself it's unacceptable like to not make happen hey um i'll be there in just a couple minutes we're on 18th and what it's not like an acceptable answer to be like oh well you know just didn't work out today i would rather put a bullet in my head than feel the way i feel right now i have scored down around this area there's another hotel that looks very much just like this i would score pills there i overdosed like three times in a row do heroin from around here like i mean fell out on the smallest amount of dope [Music] tia is saying that she wants to get better she's saying that she wants treatment she's saying that she doesn't want to live this life anymore but i know this girl she has a lot of trauma that she's never worked on and she's using that to numb her pain anytime you shoot up anything do anything intervening so you feel it it affects you immediately it's like terrible how addictive it was and it was all i could think about because the way that it made me feel it was just like a rush of warmth like my toes to the top of my head i don't want the demons and the anger and all the that's just in my head ugh what are you crying about she's just the person that knows how to push every single putt and then it can be filmed like a second eat it accept it get over it move on you should have been strong i don't have a little well you should have been better nobody cares about your problems [Music] kids let's find like peace and not hate myself and do this are you doing more yeah i can use this let's try and give tia one more call sorry mailbox is full to send an sms notification press five so she didn't answer and her mailbox is full so i can't even leave her voicemail [Music] i only have about an hour and a half to get her into treatment so i need to make sure that she is up and ready ready to go because i do not have all day to get her in we need to go you know that she got high last night for her last time her last hurrah um i doubt it was enjoyable i don't know what kind of mood she's in or even if she's still willing to go to treatment because she's not answering my phone call so i don't really know i'm hoping she doesn't throw this opportunity out the window because it'd be really stupid i mean the girl really doesn't have much left oh speak of the devil hey hey how was your nate last night so horrible today we could go back pretty much right across the street t has been through a lot of trauma and she's just been living a really rough lifestyle for a long time how do you feel like right now the fact that i did drugs yeah honestly i don't feel good yeah which i really don't feel happy about at all yeah that should can be over forever if you want it to be that's what i want it to be well it is almost in your hands it is almost fully out of my hands which i'm excited about you talking about yeah i can't wait to drop your ass off maybe they'll let me sleep which would be like the best don't forget why you're coming here don't forget what made you pick up the phone and ask for help and just even go on this journey period you know yeah no dude i think about it like all the time because it was you know such a mental like breakdown treatment's not meant to get you through every single issue that you have in 30 days but it is used to give you that starting point and to give you a gap between the last time you used and your recovery i don't know if she'll want to work on all the trauma want to work on all the hard stuff but i hope she will [Music] the state of florida is a safer place now now that i'm not on the loose [Music] how you doing with frankie i'm good buddy how you doing you look good man better better and better you look better for sure yeah [Music] got my job back today when do you start oh going back yeah going back on monday take my cell phone bill look at you getting done dude well i mean party's over yeah man yeah i want to hold him with the new but i can see if i can get back to my routine with the prayer in the meeting and work in sponsors seem like you're doing good getting there bro well it's you know i mean it just takes time you know it's it's just gonna take time so proud of you bro i love you man [Music] what's it been like um like a lot yeah like a lot um but it's been really good um have you talked to your mom yeah i talked to her that was probably like the toughest thing that like i've emotionally dealt with because like a week and a half ago she drank so much that she had like small stroke and got rushed to the hospital and like almost died and when i talked to her i pretty much just like told her like if you think that like you not being around is gonna like make it easier for us like you couldn't be more wrong right now do you have a message for future tia i hope you're not an i hope you're still doing the right thing past tea in the future to you don't be an [Music] i just worry about frankie i don't know if he's using i don't know what he's doing but it's hard when someone's relapsed so many times just to trust them obviously he's struggling with something he needs to tell somebody something you

Channel: VICE

Views: 619,877

Keywords: DOPESICK, Florida, HEROIN, Scotty, addict, addiction, culture, docs, documentaries, documentary, drug dealers, drugs, exclusive, film, homeless, independent, interview, journalism, junkie, lifestyle, movies, opioids, recovery, rehab, short films, tia, vice, vice guide, vice magazine, vice videos, vice.com, vice_videos:premiere, violence, world, yt:cc=on

Id: RghKpIs0GqE

Length: 42min 46sec (2566 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 14 2021