the horror of having no friends in high school

I'm now in 11th grade but during my ninth and 10th grade years I literally would have like two class period where I had friends and like every other class period I would just like not know anyone and I would L just be like sitting there like not talking just like being very like reserved if I didn't have work to do I would literally just be like reading which we're going to talk about later but being like alone in high school is very horrifying like it's very horrifying cuz it's literally like a big social event I know people always make jokes about how like oh high school music SCH tricked me but genuinely you think it's like going to be this big social thing and even if you're like some Misfit or like something like that you'll always find a group that will accept you and you'll just have like friends and stuff like that going into high school with no friends is just like so insane so crazy so it's just so humbling I don't know how to explain it but like one thing is like eating lunch alone like it it just feels like everyone's staring at you it's just this really weird thing like and when someone says across cost from you don't you don't know what to say if you see someone else sitting alone you don't know if you should walk up to them I remember there was literally this boy like during my freshman year who would eat like lunch alone and I was like asking my mom I was like maybe I should like sit next to him and she was like yeah and I never did I literally never did I think I had like a class with him never never sat next to him because there's this like I don't know I feel like you're scared of being judged you're also really scared and like the reason high school is so different is because like when you're younger when you're younger you're not as like insecure about yourself so like you want to share your interest with people and you want to like find friends you want to mingle and also like you're encouraged to do that like you're in one class here with like a bunch of people like of course you're going to mingle and be friends but when you have so many different class Pi where you're only with each other for like 50 minutes there's not much you can do I mean except for like Jim like Jim that's where I found most of my friends that I have now in gym but cuz it's more social but like for other classers usually you just go there you do work and then you move on to the next class but it just feels so like it it just feels so like lonely and when I was in my freshman year I started reading the perks of being a wa flower this is when we're going to start talking about like Teenage loneliness media and like books and stuff because this book was very like it was just me like Charlie is literally me and I think like what the the framing of the book where like I'm literally looking through it like right now like he literally says like dear friend and like I know it's because like Charlie like he needed a friend and I think like it just made me think like oh I need a friend too like I really get Charlie cuz like I really needed a friend and like as I would like I really just like I don't know as I was reading it I just felt like he was like talking to me in a way I don't know how to explain it but like it like while I was reading his diary introduced I was like Hey like I need this right now like you're my friend like I don't how to explain it and like I could really relate to the loneliness that he felt and I really like the way like the movie and the book show like not wanting to show your true your true self or being scared to show your true self because you don't want to like disappoint people or freak people out and I think this book in this like movie also it just shows it really well like there's that scene like oh my God I literally get scared thinking about it like where he's like um where they like Kiss the prettiest girl in the room and then he kisses like like o no he doesn't kiss his girlfriend like that scene to me is just so insane but it perfectly and he loses his friends and perfectly encapsulate how how you can like do like the wrong thing you can do the wrong thing at any moment and lose all your friends and like it feels like you're really walking on eggshells around high school because like everyone is always near each other and people can reject you from the friend group they can like make you lonely you can get rejected from your friend group and and just be lonely that's how high school works you can't go off like you're of course you're not going to go off and run to another High School to find new friends like if you're abandoned by your group now you're just alone and it's it's like really scary like there's this like extreme fear of like being alone in high school cuz everyone else has friends like I I remember like specifically like I would be in the cafeteria like eating lunch alone and I would just see people like around like just talking my to their friends like laughing and I wasn't used to this loneliness I wasn't used to being like alone like I always had like friends like even through in fourth grade shortly I didn't have friends because I had permanently moved to Chicago and like I did not know anyone in like fourth grade but like literally shortly like I say like a few weeks later I I literally like had like a best friend at that point but I always had something to fall back on even when like people were mean to me in middle school or um junior high school or like fourth grade like I always had something to fall back on like a little cushion you know some friends right um for example like little side note I literally remember in like in my old school like before like in grammar school I literally remember there were these girls who will go to Starbucks I don't know if it was like I don't know when they did it cuz I didn't I wasn't invited but I remember my friend was invited and I like asked something about it and I guess like the girl who was doing it like heard me so I she literally told me she was like um yeah here by the way you can't come to Starbucks with us and like that really hurt me but at the same time I didn't care because I had a cushion to fall back on like I had friends like I had people that I could talk to and just be like hey like you know what I'm not going but hey you're not going either so hey we're we're in this together and also like why would I want to be friends with those girls anyways if I have you guys like there's some type of community and that's what is really important to high school because it to high school which just important in high school because you're able to mingle with other people you're able to just meet other people see who you like and you don't need the approval of others but have being lonely in high school is a whole different other story like the cafeteria SC first of all and like um the person being a Wallflower and also speak where it's like there's like it's like this the way that they're shot like for example like Charlie's like sitting at this table alone and you just see everybody is like occupied by someone like everyone else has found like people to be around but Charlie hasn't like it it's just like like it's just really like that kind of media to me is like and that's like when people have the conversation of like oh is loneliness getting aestheticized or I don't know if aestheticizes the world the aesthe ification of loneliness and stuff or sadness which I'm probably going to make a video on eventually but I think like it's just I think it's BS I don't think that you can make that an aesthetic or anything like some people want to be lonely and I honestly I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy I would hate to be lonely I would hate to live a life where I didn't know anyone or where I couldn't talk to anyone or where I just didn't want to be around anyone and I know that's how a lot of people want to live their lives but like genely is very important to be social and to talk to other people and to create relationships because not but by you're not doing that you're almost like rejecting yourself from growing as a person cuz as you interact with other people you grow as you form relationships you like become sweeter as a person and even I found that like I've shifted by like having different different friends and by meeting different people and I genuinely just like I can relate with that feeling of not wanting to be yourself because you feel like you're like different or you feel like you're a misfit like for example like I also started watching Freaks and Geeks my my freshman year like I watched so much stuff that really helped me um but I watch Freaks and Geeks and I really like thought like Bill Sam and I forgot the other kids' name but I thought like their whole relationship was cool because they were they were alone they were alone there was three of them they were there weren't really they had like little friends on the outside but like they were a main like they were close group and like probably when they went to other classes they either had each other in the class they had like one of their old like other little side friends and stuff but that's all you really need in high school you don't need to be the most popular person you just need to have you just need to find your people and I know that that's hard but yeah also that's a whole different conversation about like clicks and stuff cuz like it they really like that's high school clicks really do exist if I'm being honest like they ex they do exist but the truth is is that like they kind of like speckle out like they kind of like like shiver out but yeah like going back to what I said about like the aesthe ification of like loneliness and stuff like that there are people I'm going to be honest there are people who like see like um stuff like The Virgin Suicides and like um shows like that are like like you know fem celles are you know what I'm trying to say but I don't even think fem cells are like on that loneliness stuff I think this is more like sad but like maybe people doing stuff like that it's just because they feel like lonely like I remember if I was if I saw like edits of Charlie and stuff I be like that's literally me like I feel like I'm Charlie and also Charlie you guys should read you should guys should read this book um Charlie like he just he gives a lot of Hope to the reader he's also being very vulnerable with the reader and it's like it almost feels like you have a friend he's sing your friend to you like there's just like I don't know like it's so horrifying it's so it's so sad and it's lonely to go through high school by yourself like for some part of it and I think like reading for example like it really helped me I know this video is all over the place but I just wanted to talk about like being lonely in high school and stuff but reading was like always a big thing for me like for example when I in fourth grade I remember I would start reading like the the series of enfort events I read like the Goosebumps like graphic novel and like that really got me into reading and then after that and I'll also read with like my friend that really got me into reading because reading can be a share thing but also it's a very independent thing you don't you don't really need someone to read with you you don't you can talk about a book and share with other people but sometimes a book can just be for you it's not like a movie or something like that a movie can also be personal but with a book it's really just like this is this one thing that's going to be in my hand it's not my phone where I can show it to someone else it's it's mine it belongs to me and when I was alone for this extended period of time period of time in this unknown environment in this like very like confusing environment because there's like so many people and there's like so many people being like friends and stuff you just feel like lonely and you feel like you don't have any friends and you feel like you're weird and there's even today like I'll like do stuff in school like every day and I'll be like dang I shouldn't have done that or like oh I hate I hate who I am I shouldn't have done that was so embarrassing everybody has that but I just think like it's just so like that's that's why I'm like such a big reader right now even like d Diaries look I've always been a reader like my whole life but um there's so many like like the Harry Potter Ser I read that through like my whole freshman year I only got to like half of the seventh book I got through like the whole series except for half of the seventh book but um yeah things like that like reading as a very like it can get you close to other people it gets you close to like the characters and you really feel immersed like these characters and then you also have something like where maybe you can go on the internet and chat with other people my I've have never done that I'm not g to lie I never got on the internet talk to people about Harry Potter but you see edits or something or you see people talking about on the internet you can kind of engage in the discourse maybe but it's just like high school is this always going to be this strange and foreign thing to people especially if you going into an alone and I think like maybe reading if you're a freshman and you feel lonely read this book read this book read The Perks of Being a Wallflower immediately but yeah um another thing I want to talk about like with media is like bones and all which I know people don't like having the cannibalism discussion but no Ser this is the cannibalism discussion but that that movie is about cannibalism but also like that I like was thinking about that movie cuz I saw it like last November but I was thinking about how like there's literally a scene in it where like cuz that's a horror coming of age that's what I thought about it but and I thought about how like being lonely is horrifying but there's like literally a scene where like they show like this person fall and then a bunch of people help them pick up their books and they like the camera like shifts over to Marin sitting alone by piano and then this girl walks up to her and she's like oh you should do this with us you should do this with us after just showing showing a like a social event like taking place they oh also you actually should re book review I actually if you guys want to if you guys want that I will literally do a book suggestion but um I just think that like that's that's such an interesting scene like showing people like being helped and showing someone like actually being vulnerable by throwing all their book or like dropping all their books and then they get help and then you see like the camera shifts to like Marin alone and then someone comes and then um she ends up going out and then she bites off a girl's finger and now she don't have no friends left cuz she just show her true self not to say that you're showing your true self is biting somebody in the finger but you know what I'm trying to say metaphors but um also that film's very scary cuz she's on her own like she's not even in high school she she her dad leads her and just watch the movie I'm not about I'm not here about to spoil but yeah genuinely like if you're I don't know I want to close the video out by giving an advice but if you are a freshman or a sophomore or a junior and a senior or a senior you and you're in high school you feel alone let me tell you something or even if you're not if you're like in grammar school if you're in college I don't know people College are watching I don't know but um if you do feel alone like let me just tell you this loneliness doesn't last forever try to mingle with people I know it's hard I'm not about to sit here and tell you like hey make friends because it's harder than that and it's more complex than that but genuinely like if you really stick through it stick with it cuz I remember for me it was hard it was hard for me to come to school it was hard for me to do like simple things because I felt like I don't know I just felt anxious cuz I didn't feel comfortable in my environment cuz I didn't feel like I had anything there and I didn't have any friends and it it felt weird it felt like everyone was judging me I don't know like Teenage anks but I would say stick it through and I I think you'll make friends I think make friends people always saying like go I'm so lonely and that's just the truth people be lonely I be lonely sometimes too not really with my sisters I'm always I always have someone I always have someone to bother I always have my sister but I like in school you don't you're you're secluded from you can't this is getting awkward um but yeah I hope that whoever is watching this um I hope you get some friends in your life I hope you um are I don't know I hope you're doing well and yeah happy holidays I hope everyone has a a happy holiday whatever you celebrate um yeah I hope everyone is well and I hope you guys say stay safe stay safe [ __ ] stay safe stay safe stay safe during the Hol holidays guys holays safe stay safe during the holays um yeah stay tuned for my next video bye

Channel: kie

Views: 12,467

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Id: WKYB2Joy4bM

Length: 15min 10sec (910 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 23 2023