The Harsh Reality You're Ignoring | Jordan Peterson Motivation

you say you are morally obligated to do remarkable things MH why well I think partly because life is so difficult and challenging that unless you give it everything you have the chances are very high that it will embitter you and then you'll be a force for darkness and not good and so you know the fact that life is short and can be brutal can terrify you into hiding and avoiding you can flip that on its head and understand that since you're all in anyways you might as well take the risks that are adventurous there isn't anything more adventurous than the truth so why is that a moral obligation well if you hide and you don't let what's inside of you out and you don't bring into the world what you could bring and you become cynical and bitter you will start doing very dark things not only will you not add to the world what you could add but you will start being jealous of people who are competent and doing well and work to destroy them so that's the pathway to Hell really we need to separate out the distinction between fantasy and delusion you do have a fantasy about the future so you have to provisionally map the future that's what a plan is that doesn't make it a delusion like it becomes a delusion when the map Bears no relationship to the underlying territory so if you have a strategy for the future you know maybe let's say that your strategy for the future is that you have 5 million YouTube subscribers in 3 years well you have no evidence of the strict sort that that's how it's going to be because Anything could happen between now and 3 years from now let's say but there's no reason to call that a delusion it's one hypothetically possible path of potential and then you can make the sacrifices necessary to bring that about so even though it's a fantasy because it Maps something that isn't there it's not a delusion it's a delusion when you're ignoring elements of your own experience that would inform your fantasy more effectively you're ignoring them so that you can live in a positive representation of the future without having to pay the appropriate price for it the ultimate ideal is also the ultimate judge because the ultimate ideal is something against which you fall far short and that might be so painful that you can barely stand it but then what you do is you two things I suppose is you lower the ideal and you raise your estimation of your potential and what do I mean by lower the ideal well if you're comparing yourself to someone or even to a future self and the Gap is so painful that it paralyzes you then you've created a dragon that you don't have the tools to master and so what you have to do is you have to scale the dragon down to size and you want to scale the dragon down to size until it's a size that you are willing to move toward however small that is now you know if you're here and your ideal is here and that Gap is unbearable then you reduce the Gap and you reduce the Gap and you're going to have to do that anyways because you're not going to move from where you are to perfect in one Fell Swoop right there's going to be incremental steps so you have to fill in that that hierarchy of progression with a high enough resolution representation so that you can start to move forward there's another gospel comment that's very interesting it's called the Matthew principle and the Matthew principle is to those who have everything more will be given and from those who have nothing everything will be taken now it's brutal because it implies that reality works like this when you're moving up you go like this right and that's pretty nice that's a lot better than this but when you're going down you go like that right it's like downhill downhill Cliff okay so you want to avoid the downhill path well if the uphill path is like this which is like exponential let's say or geometric then what that means is that it doesn't matter how big the first steps you take uphill are even if they're trivial even if they're shameful in their size because you're so useless if you're disciplined in that you'll speed up extraordinarily rapidly and so that's the good news you might say is that you can take very small steps even ones that might be shameful in their size and you have to admit that to yourself but once you get the ball rolling it doesn't roll in a linear fashion it rolls in a geometric fashion and this is a really good thing to know because it can take the sting out of the realization of your own stupidity it's like yeah you know everybody has their weak sides let's say things they're embarrassed about when I first started going to the gym I was like 23 and I think I weighed 135 lbs and I was 6'1 very very thin 27in waist something like that and I smoked like mad and I drank too much like I wasn't in good shape the first attempts forward I took in the gym I went to this swim Suze class Jesus it was me and this like really fat guy young guy probably not in any worse shape than me and like seven old women over 70 and they could outswim me like it was pretty damn humiliating and so I did a semester of that and got myself in somewhat better shape and then I started to go to the gym to work out to lift weights and that was also rough because you know I'd be underneath the bloody bench press trying to lift 75 lbs off the rests and you know some muscle-headed bastard would come over and tell me how to do it and it's like yeah thank you but you know it's embarrassing and lots of times people won't do things like go to the gym because they're so embarrassed about how they look or what sort of shape they're in and it's a pain to start at the bottom but you start at the bottom where you're weak and if you want to rectify what's weak you have to accept the fact that you're at the bottom and that the first steps are going to be painful you know it took me about 3 years but I stopped smoking and then I stopped drinking and I gained 40 lbs of muscle in like 3 and a half years something like that I basically had to stop doing that cuz I had to eat like six times a day it was crazy but I got a lot more physically confident and a lot more coordinated but the point of all this is if you're going to rectify your weaknesses you have to admit your insufficiency to your own shame now if the gap between you and your ideal is so great that it paralyzes you you shrink that things will beckon to you and call to you and you'll have intuitions about which pathway to take and you will in all likelihood follow those because what else do you have you have these orienting instincts this is another reason why you don't lie cuz if you lie and you practice lying you pathologize your instincts and then your intuitions lead you wrong and so there's a sin that's laid out in the gospels it's the sin against the Holy Ghost and it's unforgivable and people have been debating for like 2,000 years about what this particular sin is but it's something like the pathologization of the instincts that Orient you if you sacrifice your relationship to the truth you warp your vision and then you can't see and then one day it'll be dark and there'll be sharp things in the fog in front of you and you'll wander right into them because you've pathologized your own Vision yeah you don't want to lie because you program yourself falsely and then you automatically see what isn't there and then of course the world will slap you in the face continually and you'll think oh my God the world's such a pathological place when the truth of the matter is is that no you just keep running into things that you refuse to see and then you think well the world's made of nothing but obstacles it's like well you put the obstacles in your own path and you did that by developing these complex self-serving delusion iions a story that you tell other people about who you are that isn't true you're trying to lay out a map that bears no relationship to reality and you keep wondering why you wander off the path and into a pit it's like well how could it be otherwise people have commented to me many times about my bravery and I I I don't like that it's it's not right I'm afraid of different things than the typical person maybe that's a good way of thinking about it I'm way more afraid of the consequences of saying something that's false or wandering off the appropriate path than I am of whatever consequences might come for saying what I believe and doing what I believe to be the case I'm way more afraid of that you know I've been reading the gospel of St Matthew I'm I'm writing a book at the moment called we who wrestle with God and one of the things Christ says to people continually is to not damage their vision is to not put that's the best way of putting it don't olude your eye you can see what's in front of you if you're willing to see it and if you're willing to see it many of the terrible obstacles in life you can just walk around but if you blind yourself purposefully to follow your own narrow self-serving delusion you're going to run into terrible things and terrible people and the terrible part of your own soul all the time that's what you should be afraid of you can't be isolated alone without responsibility and pursuing your hedonistic nonsense and not be insane and miserable those are all the same thing right and so you know it's got to the point i' I've said things that have made me somewhat unpopular like it's very difficult for people to mature until they have a child you find a huge part of what you are in that relationship it makes you responsible makes you grow up it gives you the opportunity to Mentor someone you have someone around who's more important than you well that's part of being mentally healthy it's a huge part of it this Enterprise that I've helped put together Alliance for responsible citizenship we're trying to put forward a model of governance it's called subsidiary model and the idea is that people have multiple social roles that scale you know there's you you should take care of yourself integrate yourself which means you can conduct yourself properly across the medium to long run you're self- sustaining then you can maybe extend that to your partner and then to your family and then to your local community and then to broader communities as you become more and more competent and able to take on that responsibility that's the alternative to isolated hedonic slavery slave to your own whims and it's the alternative to tyranny because if you take on all that responsibility you don't have any need for someone to govern you it's truly the case that your sanity is the concordance between between you as an individual and the world that's the sanity you're distributed out into the world and you should be and that's you want to be that's where the adventure is you want to be solipsistic a solipsistic porn masturbator Jesus it's no wonder you be aimless and miserable well God it's so pathetic why am I so unhappy it's because you think about yourself no you think about the lowest impulses in yourself all the time that's why you're miserable people exist in a sacrificial relationship to the world what does that mean it seems to mean something like human beings are aware of their extended self you know you're going to be around tomorrow and next week and next month and next year and 5 years from now and 10 years from now now it's less certain as you go out but you do have the sense of yourself as something that stretches across the decades okay and so what that means is that you have to conduct yourself in a manner that isn't merely immediate you have to conduct yourself in a manner that will work across time now how do people do that they work work is a sacrificial gesture so you work by definition virtually work is the sacrifice of the present for the future I mean maybe someone can come up with a better definition of work than that but I don't think so it's like you you put in time and effort right now even if it's something not what you'd like to be doing at the moment you put in time and effort because you believe what the hell does that mean you believe it'll pay off well is that a contract with the future is it a covenant because the relationship that the biblical Corpus characterizes human striving is covenantal it's a bargain the bargain is you make the right sacrifices and they pay off that's the bargain now you might say well that's just part of the social contract but the biblical Corpus insists that it's deeper than that it's built into the structure of reality itself and that if you got the sacrifices right the future would be paradisal that's a kind of sacrifice right there is that you're willing to sacrifice your short-term physiological and psychological comfort for a medium to long-term benefit it's the essence of sacrifice this is something the atheists don't understand about the biblical narrative is that the narrative insists that we live in a sacrificial relationship it's the essence of humanity to live in a sacrificial relationship it's like well is that true or not well as you mature your relationships are more sacrificial it's less about what you in your narrow sense want right now and it's more about what's good over the medium to long run including other people well that's a sacrificial relationship now the Covenant you know and this is a matter of Faith it's the matter of the deepest Faith are you willing to act out the proposition that the way to make the world reveal itself to you and its most positive guise is for you to adopt the most appropriate sacrificial relationship well it's a big risk isn't it CU you have to give up everything that's the that's the deal you give up everything that's low everything everything well that's what the Christian passion is because the Christian passion is an archetypal story because Christ is the person who sacrifices everything thoroughly 100% there's no indecision because age like you pay for your indecision it's a decision it's a decision to avoid fundamentally know and part of the moral that's embedded in the story of Job And in the Christian passion is that you can Master what you'll face and maybe that's true I mean the clinical literature seems to indicate that it's true because one of the things you do if you're a competent clinician is you look at what people are attempting to accomplish and maybe that needs some retooling but let's assume that they have a goal in mind that would work right you've talked it through with them strategically they have a well-laid out Vision okay now they're laying out the vision and they encounter impediments that stop them and maybe they're impediments that make them afraid and paralyze them and so then what you do is you decompose the impediment until you find a way they can advance that constitutes a genuine advance that they'll actually do so what you do is you take the problem and you narrow it until they'll face it okay then face it then what happens they get more competent that's what happens and then they get better at facing all problems so they don't just learn how to deal with that specific problem they learn a lesson that generalizes across problems they get braver when you use exposure therapy people don't get less afraid they get braver that's way better because braver braver moves from situation to situation okay so the question is if you faced everything that was put in front of you who would you be well the answer the biblical answer is you'd be a true Son of God that's the biblical answer it's like well do you believe that well it depends on what you mean by believe do you have a better bet than facing what's there well you just have to be sensible about it for a moment it's like is your theory that you're going to adapt better using falsehood and avoidance because that's the contrary Theory you either face it and you do that predicated on the faith that something in you will respond if you do or or you don't face it that's it those are the options if you don't face it that's Faith too that's faith in the notion that avoidance and deception will suffice there's technically two different forms of reward there's consumatory reward that's what an orgasm is it's consumatory reward it brings the behavioral and perceptual sequence to a halt it ends it right at the climax it ends it but then it's over that journey is over right then there's the dopaminergic reward and dopaminergic reward is evidence of advancement towards a goal right okay so so there's a corollary to that well how do you become optimally engaged because dopamine facilitates engagement and focus which is why drugs like amphetamines can be used for kids who are attention deficit disordered you tap up the dopamine response they lock on right okay so they're locking on to a goal directed Pursuit the problem with amphetam means is that they can lock you on so hard you can't get out of the frame so like kids on amphetamines will obsess for example about cleaning up their closet they can't switch to the next activity okay dopaminergic reward is reward that's accured in relationship to a goal okay so what's an implication of that well pursue the highest possible goal well why because the kick from advancement is higher now you have to balance that it can't be you have to advance right cuz imagine the rewards got two components number one one is you're moving towards something valuable okay so you want it to be as valuable as possible okay but you have to be moving you need something extremely valuable that you can move towards okay so part of the reason that you establish a relationship with God let's say is because that's what sets the upper bound to your vision it's like I want things to be the best they could be that's a vision of paradise well that has to be fractionated into you know your proximal decisions but lurking behind that should be this continual movement towards what would you say a heaven that recedes as you approach it that's a proper vision of Heaven A Heaven is a place that's perfect and getting better both at the same time that's what music shows you because a great piece of music is perfect but it's just getting better as it unfolds and and you need that this is part of the problem with a static utopian Vision something dovi criticized if you gave people Nothing But consumatory reward he famously says so that they can do nothing but sit in tubs of hot water eat cake and busy themselves with the continuation of the species human beings would break that all to Hell in a moment just so they have something interesting to do if you run yourself through a disciplinary process so you accomplish something maybe you don't attain the goal you were aiming at but you acrew a new way of looking at the world in a set of skills well if you just keep doing that you have multiple ways of looking at the world in more and more more skill well that's that's your Storehouse of treasure as you walk through life in your normal mode things will call to you and if you pursue them they will take you deep it doesn't really matter what it is that calls what matters is that you pursue it and you you pursue it to the depths and as you pursue it to the depths you will become transformed and if you do that without reservation that will turn you into the person who frees the slaves and opposes the tyrants and that is how it works that's the call and that can happen in any direction virtually any direction you just have to pursue it with sufficient Faith it's really something to see how many people are dying for a lack of an encouraging word you know they don't get encouragement and people need so little encouragement it's just unbelievable unbeliev you know I believe that truth will save the world I believe that so you speak truthfully and you watch what happens and you take your consequences you're a net force for good if you want to be one of the things you do with people who are struggling is you make the simple even simpler because then they can get a toe hold you know like if they're really barely able to move I had one client you know he had a hard life man he was like 85 he'd fallen off a ladder and broken his neck and they had permanently Fus it so he was basically like this he could hardly move he was so depressed he literally couldn't get out of bed it was awful and he was in chronic pain because of his broken neck and so the first thing I did with him was get him to sit up for like 30 seconds that was it that's where he had to start you know and after I I worked with him when he was in the hospital after 2 weeks he was walking down the hall and able to sit up and read for you know five or 6 minutes and he got out of the hospital he went home and but he had to start with the simplest possible steps and hey man this is the death definition of humility in some ways is that you start progressing where you can start well one of the really difficult things to learn when you're down and out is how far you're down because it's humiliating you know I was Ill recently and when I started to recover I couldn't really button my shirts I had to learn to do that again I had forgotten how to put my hands on keyboard I didn't know where to put my hands I had to learn to type again now I hadn't lost all the knowledge and it came back quite quickly but and and the reason I'm saying that is because one of the impediments to people who've really taken a blow in their life is that things have fallen apart around them so badly that where they have to start is humiliating even to consider the rule it's a pretty straightforward rule when you want to get back on your feet and the rule is you have to make the task small enough so that you'll do it no matter how small that is I mean one of the things I become well known for is my advice to start by cleaning up your room but I had PL of clients who they couldn't go home and clean up their room they hadn't cleaned up their room for like 20 years for all sorts of reasons maybe because every time they did try to do anything positive in their family no matter what it was they were immediately punished and undermined and so if they even went home and dared to start cleaning up the room they'd face resistance within the family that was just a manifestation of the 50,000 times they'd been discouraged in the past but also a move that would upset the insan it that characterized the pattern of familiar interactions and so actually when if they even made a move to clean up their room what they were doing simultaneously was confronting the dragon in the family that had made every single person in that household insane for like five generations right so it looks simple it's not bloody simple and so in a situation like that you cut it down so that maybe the first thing they do is clean up like maybe they look inside one drawer and see the mess that's there and just look at it for a minute and think about how they might reorganize it if they were going to when people are very down and out and they decide to make a move forward in some ways they're facing the whole panoply of problems that confront them in the guise of that single problem right it's all lurking behind it right it's like you know they see the tip of a reptile's tail outside a gigantic closet let's say and they look and they think well that's just the tip of a tail what harm can it do me but it's connected to the whole damn Beast and the advantage to that is that if you make that first step forward you're actually advancing in the face of all that opposition the disadvantage is that the first task seems so small that you literally have to be on your knees to be humble enough to lower yourself to take that first step you know God is that all I can do I'm so useless you might even be more useless than that because you might fail at it I had lots of clients who would come back you know we'd make a deal that they would do something simple I remember one client is such a comical story in a terrible dark way you know he was an overgrown infant and he was 30 he was still living at home in his messy you know High School room under the thumb of his mother conveniently for him cuz then he never had to do anything and he had managed to entice some girl into sleeping with him and she got pregnant now he's going to have a son and he had enough sense to come to me and say you know I'm kind of a wasil and I've mucked up my life but maybe I'd like not to destroy this this kid so is there something I could do to put myself together so you know we talked that through we negotiated which is what you do with a client if you're sensible you know you lay out the problem first okay what the hell's wrong with you do you think you have to listen and listen and listen while the person unfolds everything that might be wrong they put all their cards on the table and then you sort through them and you think well some of that's not really the central issue and so you imagine they lay all the cards on the table and then you kind of get rid of 90% of them it's a symptom it's a sympt yeah yeah it doesn't really bother me now that I've talked about it that doesn't seem key I think I'm really done with that that isn't interesting to me but they'll still have to lay it all out and then you focus on the problem and then the next thing you think is ask them is something this is great General problem solving strategy is okay if this could be better as far as you're concerned what would better look like and then they have to lay their cards on the table about that so you do the same thing and now you have the diagnosis that's the problem statement and now you have a hypothetic cure let's say and now you need a strategy right and that would be the steps in between the problem and the final destination then you break down the steps until you find a step that the person will take you have to do that experimentally so the first step for him was to vacuum the carpet in his in his room and so this is literally what he did he brought the vacuum it was a standup vacuum he brought that into his room but he only got it to the threshold and then he left it 45° across the door leaning and he walked over it for a whole week and so then he had to come back and tell me you know and he was embarrassed he said you know I got the vacuum cleaner just to the doorway and I left it there and then instead of bringing it into my bedroom I just you know I put an obstacle in my own path and stepped over it for a whole week it's a very humiliating thing cuz he knew that his life was on the line and he knew that his son's life was on the line and he knew that he was one useless bastard for not being able to bring that vacuum cleaner into the room you know but the proper interpretation of that in part is well you got the bloody thing out of the closet didn't you you know so what we did was renegotiate this is called technically this is called collaborative empiricism it's a behavioral approach for clinicians and the collaboration is well as I said what's the problem diagnosis what's the potential solution the person has to be on board with all this right I mean they have to be the people who decide that's the problem you can't enforce that on them they have to discover it for themselves and the same with the solution and the same with the strategies it's like I don't know what's right for you I'll listen we can jointly explore what might be the right vision for you and then we can break that down into a strategy but you you have to be on board with the strategy you have to feel that this is right for you and then we'll say okay well maybe this is a solution why don't you go implement it come back next week after having attempted this let's see how it went went you know and sometimes people come back and say well you know that went great and it started me and I did three other things and you know what we seemed to be on the right track and sometimes they come back and say nope that didn't work at all like with the vacuum cleaner and so then you have to think what you do in that situation is make the task smaller if you make the task small enough I've never seen anyone not be able to progress if they made the task small enough but you know that can be pretty humiliating now the upside is that once you've take that first step you've looked the beast in the face and you'll start progressing not linearly but exponentially in speed so what's cool is that doesn't really matter how small that first step is because it'll start doubling and anything that doubles grows unbelievably quickly and so that's a very useful thing to know too and that that's true when you're learning anything new it's like you you'll feel like an impostor you'll feel like a fool cuz you are and you'll think I'll never get there and and it might the destination might look very distant but if you take a sufficiently small first step and get the ball rolling you can be cruising along at a pretty good rate generally faster than you'll think what seems to happen when you expose people to small but challenging tasks it does two things it makes them more skilled because now they're actually dealing with the problem and so they're acquiring the new perceptions and the new behaviors that are Mastery so they're expanding their domain of conceptual structures and actions that's both conception and skill but at the same time they're seeing themselves as the actors that can change the direction of their life the modern ideas you're supposed to accept yourself I think that's an insane idea by the way really I think I can't think of a more nihilistic idea than that you're already okay it's like no you're not and the reason you're not is cu you could be way more than you are so what do you want to be you want to be okay as you are or do you want to strive towards what's better human beings are insufficient in and of themselves and need the movement upward and so they need to conceptualize something like the highest good and then to strive for that you should love and feel good about the person you are now and that's actually a dubious proposition for a variety of reasons one is whatever yourself is is not only what you are yourself is also what you could become and so To Love Yourself properly is not only to love what you are who you are whatever that means but to love who you could become now one of the things I've observed is that it's very demoralizing for the typical young person who's miserable and maladjusted psychologically and socially if you just go to them and say well you should feel good about yourself because they think you're good just the way you are you're perfect just the way you are you should accept yourself just the way you are it's like well okay so what does that say about who I should become is that just now off the table because I'm already good enough in every way so am I done or something what about who I should become and then well how should I feel good about myself when I don't because I'm not getting along with myself I'm anxious and hopeless and nihilistic and depressed and I'm not getting along with other people so how is it that that's all somehow something I should feel good about without being deluded and these are complicated questions because you don't want to beat yourself with a stick which might be the opposite of that as well feel bad about yourself it's like no be judicious and merciful with yourself and think that you need to accept yourself in some way the way a mother accepts a child but the maternal spirit is not the only spirit that governs the love that a child requires properly you have the paternal Spirit of encouragement as well which is well we need to shelter and protect you and to provide for your security the way you are but you could be a lot better and should be and I have faith that you could be which is the love that I'm delivering to what you're becoming rather than what you are and so love that you direct towards yourself is partly directed towards that maternal care that's sort of the minimum precondition for basic flourishing combined with an attitude of encouragement towards the possibilities of your being and so that's a much more sophisticated so-called self-love partly because it's the kind of love that envisions you as something that unfolds across time and it's it's a much richer conception because it also implies that there's a responsible adventure to your life you're not all you could be and there's pain in that and there's the necessity for a certain amount of judgment about that and even a certain amount of exclusion because why what you are that is insufficient in some sense should be not be allowed to propagate further but if it's conjoined with encouragement it's like yeah you're in a rough situation there kiddo but you know here's some things about you that are virtuous and good and they're pretty powerful actually and if you just made those more manifest you could dispense with a lot of this immaturity and misery and you could expand yourself out into life physically and psychologically and you could start walk walking this pathway that makes things better and the thing is that as soon as you start walking the pathway that makes things better then things immediately become better because your whole orientation changes and you know if you're in a bad place but you're escaping that's pretty positive even if it's a bad place and you might think well it's still bad but it's better it's like well that's a lot that's a lot better than a bad place that's getting worse that's for sure cuz that's hell hell is a bad place that's getting worse that's for sure and so if you take the bad place and it's getting better well it's already not hell that's a start and so this notion of Love we've confused this with the maternal Instinct for an infant it's like cuz an infant under 6 months is like well of course your attitude towards an infant is you're exactly okay the way you are but that's not what you do to any child that's older than 6 months you start laying down some criteria for becoming for improvement and some of that Improvement cuz we can Define it well there's nothing more perfect than a child then a baby it's like yeah but that's not true if the baby's 14 years old right it's true if the baby's 6 months old and actually a baby but by 9 months well the child is going to be start to interact socially and now there's some principles that the child has to learn to abide by so that social interaction is optimized you want to take the infant who's entirely dependent and turn them into something that's autonomous and then socially integrated and then socially integrated in a manner that's moving the them towards individual responsibility and the love is not only love that's devoted to what they are at any point which is that encompassing maternal love say but the love that says yeah kid you know we're pretty happy you're you're around but the the new you is going to even be better and that's encouragement and that's part of love it's half of love that's for sure and you want to direct that to yourself as well it's like you don't want to judge who you are so harshly that you just destroy yourself and everything is cast into the pit you want to take a look at yourself and say look you know you're a person among persons and you have intrinsic worth and you have your flaws your sins your your domain of ignorance and inadequacy but that doesn't mean that you're entirely worthless because of that you have a base level value that's intrinsic worth let's say that that's reflective of the fact that you're made in the Divine image in the most fundamental sense you have intrinsic worth and that's due a certain degree of Baseline love but there's the becoming problem it's like well especially when you're young most of you is still in the becoming phase and so why wouldn't encouragement be the Hallmark of love it's like get the hell up get your act together adopt some responsibility put your life together develop a vision expand yourself beyond the narrow confines that are causing your misery and we think you can do it you could do it you should do it the world would be better off if you did it you'd be doing better if you did it everything would work out better why would we not work to make everything work out better and you're the person who could do it and you tell young people that and they think well no one ever told me that before in that way and they think well maybe I should get my act together and then they go out and try to get their act together and they think well huh turned out that worked and I'm less miserable I could try doing it a little bit on a broader scale and they try that and they think wow people seem a lot happier with me I have more friends and I'm more popular and I'm a little more physically attractive cuz I'm standing up a little bit straighter and then away they go and unfold man be a force for good in the world and that'll be the adventure of your life aimless is not nothing aimless is bad n said if you had a a why you could bear any most people find the meaning in their life through responsibility I believe the the fundamental religious truth of the idea that life is suffering it's suffering because we're mortal and fragile and because we're also subject to malevolence at our own hands and to the and at the hands of others it's a it's a constant existential problem and that can make you bitter and can make you hopeless and nihilistic and depressed and anxious and pro and likely to abuse uh substances of various sorts as as a medication or an escape it it can augur you in in a very large number of ways and I'm suggesting to people that there is a way out of that and the way out is to confront that forthrightly and to adopt responsibility in your own life and to try to make the world a better place and that it's necessary to do that and that if you don't do that that things go badly I think the deck is stacked against everyone to some degree because life is very difficult and we all die so but people some people do have it harder than others and and all of us have it very hard at sometimes in our lives it's like well what's the what's the alternative you take responsibility for that and try to struggle uphill because the alternative makes everything worse find something in your life that's so worthwhile doing that the fact that you're going to suffer is justifiable yeah life's rough no doubt about it and if good luck comes your way then you should be grateful for it and if happiness manages to manifest itself you should be grateful for that too so then you might ask yourself well what's the best antidote to the discomfort of life and you might say well it's comfort and I suppose that's what you act out when you swaddle a baby but a better antidote is something like Adventure to Excellence and that's far better antidote to suffering than the mere absence of suffering so not to say that the mere absence of suffering that's not nothing I've been a psych therapist for 20 years I've seen things you can't imagine horror shows that you can't fathom and people who have been hurt in so many ways so many dimensions it's like should they be bitter should they be resentful should they become violent these things don't help they have to struggle uphill despite their excess burden and it's responsibility not guilt it's the female crucifixtion so and and that's exemplified best in well the best portrayal of that I've seen seen is Michelangelo's Pi you know it's it's a statue of Mary uh and she has Christ's body on her as an adult on her lap and he's broken and destroyed and you know she's displaying that that's that's The Bravery of a mother to allow that to happen but not only that to to facilitate it facilitate it you go kid where you go where you go but why it's dangerous out there it's like yeah no kidding it's more dangerous here if you stay with me by a lot so you might lose your body out there in the world but if you stay here you lose your soul you know I mean it's a pretty competitive world there's lots of competition for young men in particular there's competition for status and limited resources and for the attention of women and just because you're nice doesn't necessarily mean that you come out particularly well in those competitions I would like to say that you should all be smarter but I don't know how you could be smarter we don't know anything about how to improve intelligence and I suppose we don't really know anything about how to improve industriousness either but I can tell you that people who are industrious come up with a strategy for solving the problem that's ahead of them and then they do whatever they can to stick to the strategy and so for example if you sat down today or tomorrow for a couple of hours 3 hours and you filled in a Google Calendar whatever you happen to use with a a strategy for studying and a list of when all your assignments are due and all of that and when you're going to sit down and study then you won't be in a position where you have to cram for 10 hours a day hopelessly right before you know an important exam is beautifully put that uh love is the the highest ideal to reach for and Truth is it's handmaiden I try I thought about that for a long time right this hierarchy of Ideal and the thing about truth that bitter truth let's say that cynical truth is it can break the shackles of naivity and actually a burnt cynicism is a moral improvement over a blind naivity even though one is in some ways positive but only because it's protected and the other is bitter and dark but still better but you're not done at that point you're just barely started I think optimally we exist to have something like a playful Adventure right we're built for an optimal challenge it's partly why we like to play because in play you find an optimal challenge it's almost like the definition of play and so if you can organize yourself and the world optimally then you have adventure and maybe you have the adventure of your life and if you can do that brilliantly then you can do it in a spirit of play that's what you need and want I saw an endless repetition in my clinical practice and in my own private life when my eyes were open the consequences of not saying what was true it's like whatever hell you might fall into by opening your mouth when you have something to say that isn't popular it's nothing like the hell that you're going to envelop yourself in if you lose control of your own tongue and mind and I like I said in my clinical practice I never saw anyone get away with anything even once and so all you have in a situation like that is what is the truth now you know of course you only have your approximations to the truth but that's better than nothing and so you need to be afraid of the right thing and you should be afraid of contaminating your soul with deceit that's what you should be afraid of what happens is you know garbage in garbage out the old programmer saying goes and so you'll fill your head with nonsense and no one will call you on it except you but you can steal that voice if you try hard enough you just wait until you get in real trouble you know one day there'll come a point where you have to make a decision and the decision is the difference between life and death or Worse between someone else's life and death or Worse between health and the suffering that's worse than death and because you've compromised yourself to such a degree you will not be able to rely on your judgment and you will make the mistake you shouldn't make and then you're done and that will absolutely happen yeah well I mean you you set what's great against what's tragic yeah I mean what else could you possibly do and so then you say well how do you find what's great in your own life and part of that is you watch it's like when is it that I'm doing something that alleviates my suffering right it's a real you have to ask that question to yourself honestly one of the things you have them do is say well why don't you just watch for a week like watch yourself like you don't know who you are and just to see when you're not quite as miserable and then let's see if we can figure out what it is about what you're doing in that situation that's lifting the Gloom it's like okay okay there's something in that that's Curative right and that's something in that that's Curative is related to well you might say your purpose it's like maybe part of the reason you're depressed is because you're too isolated and now we can work on that so let's see if we can increase the amount of time you're spending with your friends by like 20% or maybe you need a couple of new friends or maybe you need to work on your comic material you know because you can set that against the tragedy of life this is I think why people are so obsessed in some sense with the search for fundamental meaning this is a good story so you can imagine two people laying bricks they're building a gigantic wall and the one person thinks oh my God you know this wall is going to take 100,000 bricks I'm laying one at a time and I'm wasting my life away trivially adding to this gigantic brick wall and what am I doing this is absolutely miserable Brick by Brick and the other person thinks in 300 years this is going to be a cathedral and so the person in the second state is doing exactly the same thing at a local level laying bricks but each brick is related to a very high goal and that means the reward that's attendant upon the laying of the brick is proportional to the goal of the entire behavioral process so if you're aimless and and goalless then you can't elicit any positive emotion and if your goals are fragmented which is also what happens if you're aimless or your goals lack Unity if your goals are fragmented then no given behavioral manifestation can elicit any dopaminergic reward because it's not a step forward to anything desirable one of the things well I did write about this in my first book particularly about putting your life putting your house in perfect order it's like well if you if you're lost one of the things you can do is look around and see what direction you could take locally fix something find something that you could do that would make things better that you would do and there's a humility in that too because especially if you're in a low energy State it's like oh my God you know I don't have enough energy to make dinner it's like do you have enough energy to put a fork on the table and sometimes people are so depressed that that's really all they can do can you take a small step forward no matter how small that is Implement a micro routine even something like washing a cup and putting it back in the shelf and you know that's a good thing because you have a shelf and there's cups on it you've already decided that's an appropriate way to live is to have your coffee cups on a shelf if you go ahead with cleaning out the cup and putting it on the Shelf then you've taken steps towards a a valuable micro goal you get a dopamine kick from that that transforms itself into adrenaline and energy energizes you in part what the dopamine system is doing so imagine that the purpose of the dopamine system is to elicit a satiating reward fundamentally but then the satiating reward is something that has to be approached in in steps and so in order to maintain the motivation necessary to approach the satiating reward you have to mark each of the steps with a with a marker of [Music] pleasure small things are not small you might have the cognitive appraisal that doing something local like cleaning up your room is small but it's not obvious at all that that's the case it's not it's not that trivial to put your immediate surroundings in order and it can easily be the stepping stone to putting things in order on a broader scale in fact it's probably the necessary stepping stone to do that you can pat yourself on the back especially if you're depressed a little harder than you might otherwise by say you know you say well this is Trivial but I did it it's like no if you're moving ahead that's not small you just keep doing that you're going to get out of this paralyzed or Retreat mode if you're in the zone of proximal development you're pushing your skill development one increment forward and it's one that you can actually manage imagine that you have someone who's habitually avoidant and maybe they're avoidant because when they become possessed by negative emotion they become hyper aware of their internal State and they feel the panic and so then they freeze or Retreat and they do that constantly and then they're in this terrible negative emotional state all the time because every time they see a stimulus that's associated with retreat they get gripped by these interceptive Sensations and so you say to them well we're going to reverse that instead of you being gripped by that you're going to expose yourself to that voluntarily see if you do that repeatedly with people not only do they stop being afraid of the things that you're that you're showing them that you're exposing them to but they become more likely to approach other things they're afraid of far more likely in fact it doesn't exactly look like people get more less afraid at all it looks like what happens is they learn to get [Music] braver one of the phenomenon cognitive phenomena that loads very heavily on neuroticism is self-consciousness and so when you fall into anxiety Then is this internal obsessiveness which has to do with the panoply of sins in some sense which parts of me are malfunctioning and need to be eradicated and one of the things I used to do with my socially anxious clients so they would go into a social situation often with eyes downcast by the way and they would be so intensely concentrating on their own internal Sensations that they would fail to make eye contact with anybody they were talking to and then they would be awkward because they weren't reading the cues they could have read if they would have only looked and then the conversation would become disjointed and then they would get anxious and fall into themselves and so one of the things that I taught them to do wasn't to try to calm themselves down but to try to calm the other person down so when you go into a social situation pay more attention to the other person like just focus your attention outward and if the person had any social skill sometimes I had clients who had no social soci skills and so they were anxious socially because they actually didn't know how to behave socially so then you had to teach them the social skills but some of them had the skills but wouldn't activate them because they were so neurotically obsessed with their own inadequacy that they failed to attend to the cues that would elicit the proper responses and all they had to learn to do was watch and then they would automatically respond because they knew how to have a conversation see the reason that socially anxious people are so interoceptive is it's involuntary right they get gripped by the negative emotion and then that produces this intense obsessive interoception that might not happen if they did it voluntarily this is why exposure therapy works so well in in Psychotherapy is like well I'm afraid of something and if I go near it then I'm possessed by negative emotion well that's if you go it accidentally I'm going to have you go near it purposefully and what you're going to find is that to the degree that you do it purposefully that response will be quelled and that happens it's extraordinarily reliable imagine you anticipate something and then you make a mistake now the question then becomes how significant is the mistake the depressive takes that punishment response let's say that's a consequence of failed anticipation and can't bind it it just it just takes out all of their potential future selves and so then they're in a depressive pit that's too much learning from failure that binding problem is really tricky one of the rules of thumb for that that's extremely use useful that's socially instantiated is innocent until proven guilty so you might say when those thoughts come up because they're adversarial and accus thoughts you might say well that is part of the realm of possibility but when your child does something wrong that's minor you don't say you're a rotten kid you bind it you say look kid here's a bunch of things you're doing right but in this particular example specific situation here's the minimal thing you did incorrectly and how to alter it and it's a really good habit of mind to address towards yourself as well as to other people which is to say well what's the minimum crime that I'm responsible for in this moment and that's part of this miracle of the presumption of innocence and especially without proof a lot of what I did in my clinical practice to people who had a depressive temperament was help them make a case for themselves it's like well maybe you're as bad as you think you might be but maybe not let's take the contrary [Music] argument and only narrow the repair to the ab absolute minimum that needs to be manifested sometimes when you make one little mistake it is actually an indicator of a flaw in your character but most of the time it isn't and it certainly can't be responded to that all the time because then you'd never be able to make a mistake without wiping yourself completely out you want to make it as local and precise as you possibly can and that's also one of the advantages to removing yourself from a rage or an anxiety state because a rage or an anxiety state is low resolution and Global and so it'll be globally accusatory so you want to specify and you think okay well what's the what's the minimum necessary behavioral transformation to ensure that similar mistakes are not replicated in the future it's like if your roof leaks you don't have to dig a New Foundation you can just fix a few shingles and you might think well the rain's coming through so you have to tear down the whole house it's like well no and you might panic and run around because the water's coming in but it's still a bad idea to dig up the foundations every time something trivial maintenance problem needs to emerge and so one of the things you that's very useful to learn is like well is this only a trivial maintenance problem and one of the advantages to that too is that if it's not the collapse of your entire self let's say and it's a trivial maintenance problem you're much more able to activate that that courageous response to anomaly that's part and parcel of exploratory Behavior behavior and eventual success so when part of the trick of of of many sorts of well I would say religious training Enterprises certainly the meditative Enterprises is something like how do you tell yourself a story like a real story though a story that actually works where you can confidently approach the thing that's blocking your path I've been trying to figure out what gives people's lives meaning and if you look at it technically in order to have any positive meaning in your life you have to have identified a goal and you have to be working towards it and there is a technical reason for that and the technical reason as far as I can tell is that the circuitry that produces the kind of positive emotion that people really like is only activated when you're proceeding towards a goal that you value and so that means that if you don't have a goal that you value you can't have any positive emotions so technically that's the incentive reward system and it's the underlying circuitry is dopaminergic and when that circuitry is activated then it's part of the exploratory circuit it makes you it gives you the sense of being actively engaged in something worthwhile you know you you tend to think of positive emotion as something produced by reward but there's two kinds of positive emotion one is the reward that's associated with satiation and that's consumatory reward and that's the reward you get when you're hungry and you eat but the thing about eating when you're hungry is that it destroys the framework within which you were operating right it's time to eat while you eat and then that framework is no longer relevant so the consumatory reward eliminates the value framework and then you're stuck with well what are you going to do next and so the consumatory reward has with it its own problems but the incentive reward is constantly what keeps you moving forward and incentive reward because it's dopaminergic also is analgesic literally analgesic so if you're in pain you take opiates and that that will cut the pain but so will psychomotor stimulants like cocaine or amphetamines and and so it's literally the case that if you're engaged in something that's engaging and you're working towards a goal that you're going to feel less pain and you can see this happening with athletes who you know they'll break their thumb or something or maybe sometimes even their ankle and they'll keep playing the game of course afterwards they're suffering like mad but the fact that they're so filled with gold directed enthusiasm means that well the pain systems are in some sense shut off so that's an interesting thing because what it suggests I mean then could imagine I might say well how happy you are you that you've made a certain amount of progress and if you think about it what you'd say is well it depends on how much progress and in relationship to what so hypothetically you're going to be happier if you've made quite a bit of progress towards a really important goal and then you have to think through what it means for a goal to be really important cuz that's not obvious now you could say you're in this class and you're listening to some information and maybe there's two reasons for that you might find the information interesting per se but let's forget about that for a minute you need to listen to the information so that you can do well on the assignments so that you can do well in the class you need to do well in your classes so that you can finish up your degree you need to finish up your degree so that you can find your place in the world you need to do that so that you're financially stable and maybe you can start a family and have a life and that's all part of being a good person something like that and so that's a hierarchy of goals and you might say that being a good person would be the thing however vaguely thought through that's at the top of that hierarchy and then when you're doing things that serve the that ultimate purpose then you're going to find those more meaningful and that meaning is actually produced as a consequence of the engagement of this exploratory circuit that's nested right down in your hypothalamus it's really really old it's as old as thirst and it's as old as hunger it's really an old system and so you want to have that that thing activated it might be that the sense of meaning that life can provide to you is proportionate to the amount of responsibility you decide to take on and that that'd be very strange if it was the case you know because responsibility of course is a kind of weight obviously and it's difficult to take on responsibility but if any positive emotion that you feel and your control of anxiety and the control over pain is dependent on the activation of these systems that watch you move towards a desired goal then the more complete and weighty the goal is the more kick there's going to be in the observation that you're moving towards it and you know you kind of already know this because you'll you'll have observed in your own life that when you're engaged in something that you believe in that the time passes properly you know you can see this even if you're maybe you're reading a paper and it's actually related in some intelligible manner to something that you want to learn so even though it's difficult you get engaged in it you can remember it better you can process it better and you're not so likely to fall asleep and you're not so likely to want to find distractions all of that you can get into it and it would be very interesting if that was proportionate to the degree of responsibility that you're willing to shoulder and I I think you can make a strong case for that I've also often wondered imagine you could offer people a choice here's the choice you could say well your life isn't meaningful the nihilists have got it right there's no meaning in your life and because of that there's no reason for you to accept any responsibility so you can live a responsibility free life and maybe one of impulsive pleasure seeking but a responsibility free life but the price you pay is that it doesn't get to be meaningful or you could say to someone no we're going to do the opposite we're going to say you can live a meaningful life but it's only going to be as meaningful as the amount of responsibility that you're willing to be bear and then you might say well what would people choose cuz everybody also always makes noises about wanting to have a meaningful life but if the price you pay for that is the adoption of responsibility then it's not so obvious that people would choose meaning over you know over pointless Pursuits if the benefit they got for choosing the pointless Pursuits was that they really didn't have to care about anything they ever did right there no responsibility when you go from a bad place place to a better place you go to a worse place first it's a great thing to know because it also tells you why you might be unwilling to take the next step you know you're aiming up but to in order to aim up you have to let go of something you already have and then that'll put you into a state of chaos and unless you're willing to undergo that intermediary state of chaos and you might not recover from it you're not going to get to the next level many of you I presume have seen breaking bad you have this ordinary High School teacher who really thinks that he's an Axe and his family as well you know like your typical Persona roughly speaking he's just a normal guy but part of the reason that he's a normal guy is cuz he actually hasn't been put in abnormal circumstances and then all of a sudden he is and he has a genuine moral conundrum right he's going to die of lung cancer and his he has a has son who's got a lot of health problems and he's terrified that that he's going to leave his wife and his child behind with nothing and so he decides to do something that temporarily that he regards as what he would normally regard as reprehensible and of course he just gets tangled up in that but then as the story unfolds you see that there's it's more complicated because it's not that he was just innocent good guy and he decided to turn bad he's also very resentful and angry and it's partly because he's a bit of a pushover at the beginning or maybe more than a bit of a pushover and also that he didn't really fulfill his own potential and that you know he he had friends who walk down the entrepreneurial path and maybe they weren't quite fair to him but whatever he ends up not very successful as a high school teacher so he's really angry about that and so there's more motivation for him opening up the door to to the terrible elements of his personality than just the fact that he's got good motivations to do so and that that unfolds you know and so you see the warps and twists in his resentful character increase ly manifest them as he walks down this road to really total brutality so it's one step at a time and that's the thing is that you end up in very bad places one step at a time so you got to watch those steps sometimes you take a leap forward and you learn some things but you can't catalyze a new identity so you try to go back and hide in your old identity and that actually doesn't work because while things have changed and you've learned something and that isn't who you are anymore and so it's like you have to cut part parts of yourself off in a destructive manner to fit back into the person that you were one of the times in your life when you actually realize that you're an individual is when you'll go and ask your parents something and you'll realize they actually don't know any more about what you should do than you do and that sucks and that's partly why people are often willing to maintain a Ty slave relationship with their father it's like on the one hand you have to be inferior in a relationship like that you know you've always got the judge watching you but on the other hand there's always someone who knows what to do there's always someone standing between you and the unknown that you can go ask what should I do well at some point you'll realize that the reason you can't ask that anymore is because they actually don't know any more than you do and then that's a pain like that that is a symbolic death that's also when you establish a more individual relationship with your parents it's at that point that you could conceivably start taking care of them instead of the reverse and that's a time that should come but you have to let that image of perfection go and that exposes you the conditions of human life are such that suffering is an integral part of existence life is suffering why well one reason is because of society's arbitrary judgment every single one of us has traits and features and and quirks and idiosyncrasies that are far from ideal and that are judged by the standards of society as insufficient and so you suffer because of your imperfect insufficiency in the eyes of others and you can certainly make the claim that fairly frequently that's arbitrary and so that's the claim that Society is tyrannical in judgmental and needs to be constantly reconstituted so that the tyrannical element doesn't take full control and fair enough you have to stay awake so that that doesn't happen but the thing is it doesn't matter what Society it is although they vary in the degree of their tyranny the mere fact that you're grouped together with other people and have to come up with a common value structure in order to live together means that many of the things that characterize you are going to be suboptimal and so the price you pay for social being is that much of you is deemed insufficient now hopefully there are various ways that you can be within a society that's sufficiently diverse so that you can find a place where what's good about you in the eyes of others and perhaps in your own eyes can flourish of its own accord because you don't have to be good at everything if you can be good at one thing well enough that might allow you your Niche and hopefully a healthy society allows for that certainly societies can become so tyrannical that they don't the other element of it clearly is the mere fact of the arbitrariness of the natural world you have a lifespan that's going to be counted in the number of decades that you can count on two hands and that has nothing to do technically with the tyranny of the social structure now you could say if we got our act together more completely perhaps you could live longer and fair enough but the fact of the limits of your lifespan and the suffering that's necessarily a consequence of that the death of your parents and the death of most people that you will know be before you means that that part of suffering is an integral part of existence itself and so that can't be laid at the feet of an insufficient social structure except in so far as it's tyrannical and blind it's a condition of existence and then by the same token you have your own responsibility for some of your unnecessary suffering because there's things you could be doing to make your life better and to make life better for other people that you know perfectly well that you're not doing so there's three reasons why you suffer and one is well look at you and the way you're built it's inevitable there's not very much of you and there's a lot of everything else and so you just don't last that long and you're fragile across multiple domains and then you're harshly treated by society and there's no doubt about that and then there's responsibility that can be laid at your own feet the proper pathway through that is to adopt the mode of authentic being and that is something like refusing to participate in the lie in deception in the lie to orient your speech as much as you can towards the truth and to take responsibility for your own life and perhaps also for the lives of other people and there's something about that that's meaningful and responsible and Noble but also serves to mitigate the very suffering that produces say the nihilism or the flee into the arms of totalitarians to begin with you need something to shelter you against your own vulnerability and you can adopt a comprehensive description of reality that's formulated for you by someone else that neatly divides the world into those who are innocent and perhaps innocent victims and those who are guilty and perhaps the perpetrators of the suffering but none of that has anything to do with you and in addition it's not a reasonable way of assessing the world the the suffering is built in the existentialist take is no that's just how it is that's just how it is you don't have to necessarily have done anything wrong for things to get completely out of control it's a terrifying Doctrine but it's not a hopeless Doctrine because it still says says that there's a way forward there's a pathway forward and the pathway forward is to adopt a mod of being that has some nobility so that you can tolerate yourself and perhaps even have some respect for yourself as someone who's capable of standing up in the face of that terrible vulnerability and suffering and that the pathway forward as far as the existentialists are concerned is by well certainly by the avoidance of Deceit particularly in language but also by the adoption of respon responsibility for the conditions of existence and some attempt on your part to actually Rectify them and the thing that's so interesting about that is well too as far as I'm concerned and some of this is from Clinical experience you know if you take people and you expose them voluntarily to things that they are avoiding and are afraid of you know that they know they need to overcome in order to meet their goals their self-defined goals if you can teach people to stand up in the face of the things they're afraid of they get stronger and you don't know what the upper limits to that are because you might ask yourself like if for 10 years if you didn't avoid doing what you knew you needed to do by the by your own definitions right within the value structure that you've created to the degree that you've done that what would you be like well you know there are remarkable people who come into the world from time to time and there are people who do find out over decades long periods what they could be like if they were who they were if they said if they spoke their being forward and they get stronger and stronger and stronger and we don't know the limits to that we do not know the limits to that and so you could say well in part perhaps the reason that you're suffering unbearably can be left at your feet because you're not everything you could be and you know it and of course that's a terrible thing to admit and it's a terrible thing to consider but there's real promise in it right because it means that perhaps there's another way that you could look at the world another way that you could act in the world so what it would reflect back to you would be much better than what it reflects back to you now and then the second part of that is well imagine that many people did that because we've done a lot as human beings we've done a lot of remarkable things I often ask undergraduates how many hours a day you waste or how many hours a week you waste and the classic answer is something like four to 6 hours a day you know inefficient studying uh watching things on YouTube that not only do you not want to watch that you don't even care about that make you feel horrible about watching after you're done that's probably 4 hours right there you know you think well that's 20 25 hours a week it's 100 hours a month that's 2 and a half full work weeks it's half a year of work weeks per year and if your time is worth $20 an hour which is a radical underestimate it's probably more like 50 if you think about it in terms of deferred wages if you're wasting 20 hours a week you're wasting $50,000 a year and you are doing that right now and it's because you're young wasting $50,000 a year is a way bigger catastrophe than it would be for me to waste it because I'm not going to last nearly as long and so if your life isn't everything it could be you could ask yourself well what would happen if you just stopped wasting the opportunities that are in front of [Music] you

Channel: Motivation Madness

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Keywords: motivational video, motivation, motivational speech, speech, motivational, success, inspirational video, motivational speeches, motivational speech for success, be inspired, motivation madness, 2023, 2023 motivation, 2023 motivational speech, study motivation, life advice, dopamine, inspiration, motivation for 2023, powerful

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Length: 74min 23sec (4463 seconds)

Published: Mon May 27 2024