The GROSSEST DC Comics event EVER! | Bloodlines

hey everybody welcome to back issues i'm sal i'm ben so every few years dc tries to push new characters because they're like we are so old and busted i hate the fact that we own superman he's just such [ __ ] every so often they try to go like here's some new characters we've done three different times millennium yeah when the man hunters came and people accidentally became superheroes right invasion when they they experimented on people and then a small portion became super superheroes yeah and then dark knights metal when a small portion of them were exposed to metal and we got the dark matter universe of characters well there's a little there's a little uncollected period at dc's history when they tried that and it was in between all of these and that was oh 1993's bloodlines what the hell is this this is a 25 part dc comics epic which was just a publishing initiative that i i think is more purely uh motivated than the others because at the moment yeah i mean it's all the same the pro the thing is that dc was number three in a two publisher system at the time so they're like okay what do we need to do we'll make some new characters but this is the most shameless this is the worst dc comics event of all time i think of all time easily of all time i saw lobo on the cover it's like lobo annual blood levels like oh this is an entire lobo run no no no no no the beginning of it is bloodline's outbreak thank you oh god then there's bloodlines earth plague as you'll notice the blood changes color goes from blood red to green to green yeah because it's gaia no spirit of the no reason whatsoever to change the color and then they changed it to death storm bloodlines death storm where it's a different shade of green but then uh bloodlines ends with a two-part story arc which is the actual event called bloodbath bloodbath oh my god it looks like superman features prominently in these last two he does indeed well i thought you were trying to sell new characters we are well but then you ended it with super big shouldn't you end it with the new characters you're trying to push you don't really know who those characters are yet but you will oh you will here's the great thing about bloodlines is how long it takes and what happens at the beginning of bloodlines well i assume we have to have multiple generations and ergo bloodlines no absolutely not has nothing to do with it just because bloodlines is a word with blood in it much like blood bath is a word of blood in it bingo yeah but that's the end well yeah but it's just like they're just picking words that have blood yep uh blood clot the only thing that they actually get right is that the new generation of heroes that are born from bloodlines they referred to as new blood which actually does mean something oh is it the young blood no i said new blood that's a different blood young blood is crushing them in sales right now they're trying to get a little bit of that action you can't copyright or trademark the name blood i'm dc i'll try you got blood pool blood bath young blood bloodlines how about that we got the cornerstone on bloodlines right and i guess also bloodlines it is generational they're talking about the next generation of heroes or whatever right so the idea is to get like young people who are defecting in mass to image to be like whoa we've got oh we got that crazy [ __ ] over here too oh yeah would you like blood and no comics code authority well we stole the comics code authority but we do have plenty of blood but but here's the word blood and the edgiest characters you could possibly find that are manufactured by the same people who are tanking the comic book industry right and i don't mean to suggest that the creators who are involved or forced to be involved in making this thing are creatively bankrupt or actively contributed to the fall of the comic book industry i am saying however that they were working at dc at the time and i can imagine that editorial had this kind of like weird self-loathing thing going on at the time people like louise simonsen are trying things and creating characters who through the j through through the natural organic process of writing actually ended up creating characters who would not leave and would actually be in like today's superman and lois tv show like steel is a new character who simonson created just because they're like we killed superman make four more and then he's just a good character and there are a few of those they're all superman analogs but whatever so bloodlines technically is a story and we'll cover what that is and then where it goes because by the way the whole uh earth plague outbreak yeah doesn't mean anything it it looks like it's alien okay so it absolutely is a rip-off of aliens okay all right i'm just looking at the art here and i'm like this is all alien all right wait until they go inside then it is absolutely just one for one the inside of a xenomorph nest uh okay but it does okay so it bloodlines opens if you could call it a story it opens with uh the the and because the thing about d okay so dc tried this a couple of times where they were like let's not make an event that has its own book let's make people buy every book we publish right by printing it in the annuals of those books and we can squeeze them for a little bit more because annually because it's longer so they've done that before and this is no exception so each chapter of bloodlines takes place within an annual for a book you're probably not reading right but and it means you have to have a whole book or is it just a portion they take up the whole manual and instead of an annual normally being like a larger story and then like maybe two backup stories this is one major story that has like three chapters in it but there's there's no reason for the three chapters by the way because the narrative is in no way broken or requires any chapter designation look it's aliens versus the t-1000 what makes you think that is in any way referencing the t-1000 i don't know probably the arm blades turning into flash and looking exactly like they do for the record robin annual number two is a book from my personal collection because i picked this up while i was down the shore as a little kid got on my bicycle i rode to the 7-eleven i picked up this book because robin was in it yeah and an alien as well this worked i was i was hooked uh i never picked up another issue of bloodlines but so it didn't work in that respect it didn't work but but it hooked you it did hook me and this does a decent enough job of telling you the the the barest requirement of a complete story okay it is a robin's story it is a well it's really more like a backdoor pilot for a group of characters that robin would interact with because this isn't just a ripoff of t1 of terminator 2 or of aliens it's also ripped off of hackers because the the heroes in this story are hackers but they're not the hackers that you like would find in real life these are the hackers from hackers where they like you know have to break in places and do physical activity right they're gonna hack the plan like hacking looks cool hacking looks cool and requires skateboard places yeah it requires like x games type stuff you need to jump out of a helicopter with a parachute you have to hack into the mainframe physically with tools in a bad guy's office it might get into a gunfight right oh so a lot of hype not that they would know how to use guns no a lot of high-flying action going on in robin annual too anyway ethan look at what's happening with the alien on the cover this see what's happening with your mouth another mouth coming out of it yeah just like the alien but that proboscis does not have another mouth it has a tooth that goes into the spinal column of its prey so it can extract the juices from within because that's what these aliens feed on spinal fluid feed on spinal fluid okay that's different totally different are you going to be legally different 30 distinct are you going to be uh breaking down outbreak and then earth plague and then death storm as i said there is no need it's just they broke up into thirds they wanted to change the color maybe and here's my theory because no one wants to say they own this either editorially or personally uh maybe because it opens with blood and the bloodline's logo is the blood color uh you you'll note that in the death of superman they had to sparingly use red blood in the comic to skirt past the comics code authority it could be they only had a maximum allowance of a certain number of issues to show red realistic looking blood or they had to switch it up and it's like well we can't change them retroactively so when we do maybe we'll make them like uh we're always going to do that by making them chapters and stuff right just imagine the most creatively bankrupt solution and you're probably right on the money so here's the thing though i don't see a comics code authority logo on this no you don't so i wonder if this is the point at which they had abandoned this they have not abandoned it yet but they may maybe for bloodline specifically because of how graphic some of these yeah well this one in particular there's a global book i see them sporadically throughout like this one has it that one has it i guess lobo probably never had it i don't think so so yeah that's probably that's probably accurate okay neither does hawkman hawkman did not have an issue with the comics they're trying to push hawkman as being like a cool super serial character so uh i can imagine them being like i'm sorry a man with wings we will never approve this never put the comments down because the bird man it's because he's like you know they're trying to get you to buy hawkman and he's like you know lame to god let's make them cool or at the very least edgy right so they're putting all their extreme stuff in that hawkman book yeah to get the kitties to to buy it that's right because that's how they know they look for the books that don't have that logo and then they know yes i mean they put a ld that has the warning on it that's right oh that one i'm a big tool fan now i've got chard man in uh man of steel there's no comics code authority here that's edge don't cut yourself on him because that's his power so here's the idea there's interdimensional beings they look like xenomorphs but they're also physically distinct from each other that way if we will let's say i want to spin them out into action figures which they never do what a crime well probably was ever popular enough to justify it no but it does last long enough for them to have been able to probably get through the prototype phase because here's the thing superman died around this time yeah so we're in a world without superman during bloodlines superman is resurrected and mulleted by the end of bloodlines oh and jean-paul valley is filling in for batman and then is full nightfall batman this is the one of the few if only dc comics events that features asriel batman huh yeah it doesn't [ __ ] matter at all well he only lasts for like a few months right it's like a while like six to eight months okay because he has to and this is the the suit you like and when i say you like i mean that we all remember yeah not when it got like big bulky and red right it's just it's just starting to yeah it's just starting to morph into something you don't want anymore it's hilarious because i think this is like an anti-kingdom come and not like deliberately right you know we've talked about how kingdom come kind of represents mark white being like beware of the image invasion right don't think that that's cool actually you don't even need to go cross-publishers to find the catalyst for kingdom come it's this because by the end of bloodlines the dc universe is practically choked with morally questionable or ambiguous or bankrupt creatively bankrupt characters who are just made for arbitrary sake and they have no virtually no true motivation to be or do anything and so they just plumbed aside to be superheroes it sounds a lot like the premise for kingdom come we're just like we're we're overrun with these characters who are like i have powers i might as well start of war or get into a big epic superhero fight and destroy kansas i have to use them i got to use them and i'm going to use them for my own selfish ends that's what the end of bloodlines is and superman shows up and he's like i guess that's okay like no and kingdom come he's like that's not okay it's just it's just fascinating to see like it's like a mirror universe version of kingdom come like kingdom come could only exist in the elseworlds universe because this actually happened in continuity yeah we're superheroes yeah yeah by the way this is also it's a blight it's it's such a blight it's not even collected i had to hunt for these need to get each one of these i had to get every single one of these have you been setting this up for like years yes this is the day i have legitimately been hunting in bargain bids spending less than a dollar on every single chapter of bloodlines because it's 25 issues and i'm gonna pay cover price and i had one so i started with one and you've just i've just been collecting amassing chapters over the last five years i have been just just ticking away every time that there was a big dollar bin sale or a comic con i would go in the buck bins or the 50 cent bins or the quarter bins and i'd be like where are those bloodlines sometimes i could look at this one oh there's a lot of repeats i i have a few where i'm like i forgot which ones i had so there are quite a few dupes in my collection unfortunately so then i started carrying a list with me i have it in a list form in my in my phone so i could check against it and uh and sometimes i'm getting what you had or what you needed i i had the whole list and then i checked off what i already had ah sometimes i get lucky and get two or three some days i get none and just move on most days most days unfortunately wow but every once in a while i go who are bloodlines there it is do i have that one that's dedication it is just to do this this this episode where i talk about how stupid and shitty it is welcome to back issues you hadn't actually read it i hadn't read it all in to completion wow how much did you know about the bloodlines event not much oh boy well sit down we are in for it yeah all right that being said i mean like the fallout of bloodlines was not much well they just kind of moved on well no they they couldn't move on because they just generated 23 new characters because each annual introduces a new character of the new bloods oh my god only like four or five of them would join the team called blood pack who's on blood pack and eventually the blood pack was widowed down to just the blood brothers no it's just it's just the two brothers the blood pack you ask yes i do i will say bloodlines did spin off into no fewer than 10 different books blood pack had its own book i think was four issues but uh anima argus gunfire hitman loose cannon and the team that was spawned from the robin book i like cyber rats got one cyber rats that's what the hackers were called cyber hyphen rats spelled p s y b a hyphen rats they wore matching uh they were matching uniforms which had rats on the back you broke my brain oh my god okay how do you determine what order the books go in well unfortunately they go in the order that i have them in stats okay and they don't number because it's not numbers it's so when you were picking i'm not when you when someone was picking these up when it was coming out how do they know what they were supposed to do [Laughter] well i will say that okay dc had you covered because of course dc was trying to cash in well you have to buy it every time it comes out well they had checklists available at your local comic book store that you could use okay yeah i was looking in this for one they also had a cross promotional trading card promo so you could get bloodlines trading cards so you had to buy other [ __ ] in order to figure out what the hell the story well thankfully i guess it probably doesn't matter it really doesn't matter really what you need to do is you need to read them in the order of the of the subheading you know so if you're if you're in if you're an outbreak as long as you get them all you're good okay it doesn't really matter at the same time more or less yeah they all kind of work side by side okay you know but if you get to like earth plague uh oh but i haven't finished outbreak yet yeah but how do you know how many are an alpha outbreak the you you have to go to your local comic book store and your friends all the opportunities the little checklist there you go yeah but like say i get three outbreaks and i'm like that's all i saw yeah well then you get those four don't worry you gotta get the others and your comic shop has got you covered that's right that's why they exist that's why they exist just to hook you up to help you figure out the nightmare that is bloodline at the very least you did know that blood bath the conclusion part one of two yeah says on it part two of two legitimately you don't need to know anything except for these two and even then it isn't a story you know like the story the story of bloodlines is there's a group of interdimensional beings that are more or less named after the seven deadly sins and i mean there's seven of them there are seven of them seven beans seven beings okay there are a race of them yeah and they're primarily named like wrath they're not called that unfortunately they're named like that and they represent each sin they're but they have different but they have they have different names and of course those names are spelled wildly differently so is it like instead of gluttony it's like hunger yeah like h y no it's not even that here are the names of the aliens or the interdimensional beings of bloodlines angon gemir glonth lisik prytor slaad venev oh okay okay i got two of those yeah no you'll never remember them and i'm not going to refer to them by their name because i tore and slot i'm like all right so pride and sloths god dies within the first two minutes or two pages of bloodlines by the way well they're actually really really tough and hard to beat and you you need to be slaughtered except for slaad well it was it was the main man lobo isn't in bloodlines right if he was in all the books it would have been easily yeah oh yeah oh my goodness yeah yeah stupid so those are the names of the aliens okay so the the this is the only one you actually really need to read is lobo animal number one because this is where we find i wouldn't even recommend it because it's because it's a lobo book yeah it's mobile annual from 93 yeah global lobo annual 93 number one basically lobo has joined a inter-spatial team of do-gooders called legion yes legion stands for something like shield okay so lobo has joined them kind of reluctantly it's run by vril docks an identity of brainiac and he is a insufferable douche nozzle and i wanted to bring this up because lobo's here and it's of course written by alan grant who's one of the stewards of uh of logo incidentally giffin is responsible for the creation of lobo and i was reading an interview with him from around this era and giffen is quoted in saying of course i don't like lobo i hate lobo i think lobo is a terrible character nobody likes lobo you're not supposed to like him right so i i remembered that specifically because of how much you hate lobo and how much giffin leans into the insufferability of lobo see ethan you're right like even his creator hates him but also why did you make him he thought it was funny i made him so that you could hate him i guess it's a troll yeah keith gibbons is just a troll yeah he's the chip zadarski of his era so okay so the idea here is that the legion all uppercase yeah uh are dealing with the the purple people which is a group of space pirates they call them the purple people yeah how they eat people well they're purple people eaters so anyway uh they stumble upon the ship for these aliens interdimensional interdimensional they're aliens it's they their ship is literally a giant xenomorph egg from aliens how could you draw that conclusion that's just right i see that it's i guess it's egg-shaped eggs are it is ovoid i will give you that and then you go inside and you find that the seven aliens that will be the six protagonists so to speak of bloodlines are in hibernation chambers that are identical to the hibernation chambers from the nostromo but it's in the alien ship so we got to do like a hybrid of the alien technology and the whale and utani technology doesn't matter anyway they wake them up and oh so it's their fault that this all happened yes the legion wakes them up the uh the aliens tap their spines and suck out their juices and of course the idea here is sweet meats of course yes they they discover that you know most the time they kill them but you know one in 20 becomes a new blood and gets superpowers and by the way the powers are arbitrary and have nothing to do with their environment or what they interact with so the the evil characters yeah the bad guys bad guys they become the new bloods no no no create new blood the legions the legion at least one legion character yes instead of just dying yep becomes a new blood and that would be lila who is essentially a new member of the legion who's also the object of much misogyny and sexism from lobo and uh she kicks him in the nards for good measure but you know it's kind of like yeah but also your hair likes that kind of thing no it's more like you're having lobo do it you know and he takes great offense you know he's been horribly offensive and terrible to her she defends herself and he takes events of that yeah because he's a reprehensible character anyway what matters is you know they they're freed they get a taste for human spinal fluid so they head towards earth sal i don't know what you're talking about this is misogynistic at all no not at all uh especially not the violation or savagery of women throughout the story so yeah uh basically lobo kicks ass and takes names and barely escapes with his life or the life of lila whom he rescues from the clutches of these aliens and the aliens make their way out of there uh lobos under orders by the legion or grilldock specifically to bring them back alive instead he makes it to effort to blow up the ship so they're going to nuke him in orbit it's the only way to be sure but they don't but he fails it's more like lobo tries and real docs is pissed that he tried that at all but they just assumed that it worked and they leave and instead the uh that's an even it's an evil villain like downfall like i'm pretty sure they'll die yeah so let's not stay around and watch you know brainiacs at the helm of this team so yeah old habits die hard so then they end up crashing in the swamp lands of metropolis and then their glorious work can begin plans glorious metropolis oh big swamp so big it could fit this gigantic egg and it can burrow very very deep within the surface of the earth because it has to for the end of bloodbath oh it's got to get down there really deep down nasa had no idea no idea whatsoever neither did any uh meteorological society that you know detects earthquakes not one worth a dam okay is there is there stuff superman didn't hear this no he was probably he's dead or something yeah yeah there are four of them yeah but yeah but one of them's a traitor the other one's eradicators and cabbage [ __ ] the other one's a clone boy doesn't give a crap he's trying to get laid and the other one is a dude in a suit and doesn't have that kind of long-range capabilities yeah there's nobody able to do anything maybe lex luthor could have heard it using some of his lex corp technology but he's an australian clone you know what happened is that it was heading for gotham and batman's like i'll just use the bat plane and push it over to metropolis not our batman it's azrael he's an idiot he wouldn't be able to do it either way yeah all the excuses for why this would have been diverted irrelevant right because it's a representation of the worst era in dc history when they were just like we want all the money that everybody's having but we also don't want to be innovative or creative and what we the only thing we know how to do is hurt or destroy our major beloved characters we'll kill superman break batman make hal jordan go nuts they even entertained the notion of doing a similar treatment to wonder woman in fact mark miller pitched the rape of wonder woman as this concept where it was going to be like the last issue of the death of superman where every page was like a full-page splash and it would be a 22-page treatment that he wrote as a joke but that he says dc seriously entertained and had the first page drawn of which would depict wonder woman being publicly raped and humiliated and that would be the downfall of wonder woman that's insane that's how desperate so it's like oh bloodbath's actually looking pretty okay it could have been worse it could have been it could have been worse could've been a lot all i'm saying is thank god you know all i'm saying is we could have had promotional materials at an event that had to be graphically depicted that said the rape of wonder woman so that's where dc's heads are at yeah that's my and what's up well how else are they gonna explain why she doesn't prevent all this from happening she's in it and she's just like she's just a dupe just along for the ride you'd be surprised but it would have been more believable if she'd been obliterated and raped and then you'd be able to explain why you know she's upset she's recovering yeah yeah that's why this happened but now it just doesn't make any sense well she's just there and she's just like i don't know which represents perfectly like what they know what to do with wonder woman yeah forget about her i don't know i don't know the the aliens refer to having like a plan so we see them talking to each other oh yeah oh no are they coming to earth specifically nope they were enticed to come to earth by the sweet taste of our spinal fluid thanks to lobo and his team of fuck-ups that's right that's right yes but they end up here and they're going to hatch their scheme because slaad is dead that actually weakens them because they're kind of like a hive entity they are all very individual and distinct but they also work in unison okay and this is actually an allusion to the new bloods because while each of them is totally radical and awesome on their own when you put them together they're even more powerful so okay because slot is gone they're only able to transform themselves into one shape and that shape just coincidentally happens to coincide with what human beings look like so each of the six deadly monsters can also approximate a humanoid form uh one of those humanoid forms has eight arms yeah she can make eight arms i'm just saying that's kind of a kind of a clue that maybe you're not human that's true well some of them can integrate better than others like one of them which is a female who is also the representation of lust she takes over a small town in green lantern oh she she lures all the men away from their wives and then she goes to their houses where the wives are and then murders them and eats their spinal fluids but not before having sex with their husbands who are under her thrall it's not that they're necessarily willing participants but also it's against their will so you get rape and murder at the same time yeah does she also eat the husbands yeah sometimes really yeah yeah she does yeah so it's actually twofer so she just sees everybody so she really needs a complicated she's because she's the embodiment of lust i guess because that's kind of her bag that's her thing yeah because this book isn't edgy enough because edge can only appear in like two issues i don't want to harp on edge so much but the fact that his name is his edge yeah is he edge like lord of something because that would be great he's a reverse cenobite yep so that's that's what they so they have this plan and the plan is hilarious because it seemingly is just run amuck throughout the dc universe right that's not something that plays no but they're they do so they are tapping the spinal fluid and they're and they're enjoying it it's a much disgusting degree or is it like something that they need to like procreate it's both it's both it's sustenance and they also regurgitate it into a vessel on their ship this is cutting weight of the chase i'm skipping ahead 23 chapters at least uh yes they they see they tell you what they're doing they don't seemingly they're doing it at random for fun they but they talk about the place they talk about the plan and then they lose it and they're like one of them uh literally he he sucks up the spinal fluid dude and they're at the junkyard and then he smells a human body and it's a literal dead body of a woman and he's like oh she's got something there anyway i don't know it like just sucks that up too because it's not gross enough and that character was actually a like a physical trainer for lex luthor ii who humiliated him in front of lois lane so he murdered her and dumped her in the uh in the metropolis junkyard that's because this like super gluttonous monster not to be confused a sloth with sloth there is there's more uh he uh this uh one of them like he he sucks up her dead spinal fluid and that brings her back to life and she uh becomes myriad because somebody had access to a thesaurus and they uh they discovered that myriad uh not only is she like a zombie but when she touches people she can then like approximate their visage and a portion of their memories and so she does that like two or three times and each person that she gets she has the memories of so she has like a myriad of personalities right oh my god some other characters called like like various and sundry i i you know what let's go down the list of the characters okay all their names i assume they get introduced gradually throughout each issue is an introduction to these characters what there's 20 some issues yeah 20 some characters wow all right so we got uh what's her face we got lyla she doesn't join the new blood she's out all right okay we got edge edge mm-hmm okay spikey guy spiky guy that's it he's got spikes is he in yes he's a noob everyone else will be on the new bloods that introduces joe public and joe public is a gym teacher who really loves america and and and he becomes strong and a good leader all right flash argus aka nick kelly uh argus can uh meld into shadows okay yeah and he has a head thing yeah well that's the armor and the costumes are irrespective of their abilities okay those are just it's a grab bag of costumes that you would see in any image comic that was made up by a dc staffer okay new titans new titans uh that one is anima aka courtney mason uh she can summon a being a separate sentient being called animus i guess that thing i guess that's burn that's that thing yep okay and uh it's powerful it's super super strong and i don't wanna i don't wanna get too deep in the weeds here ladies and gentlemen but i have a feeling that animus will be the linchpin that saves the day at the end of bloodlines so she's a pretty important character so just the thing she can summon but like well she can summon it is important that's why she's really important okay all right superman oh we got metal superman that's the title that the cyborg superman was headlining at the time that introduces myriad okay oh okay nightblade i don't know who that is you have to explain them nicely okay i still need you okay great thank you nike blade was a paraplegic who was spinal tapped and then got the use of his legs back and just for no reason whatsoever decides to put on that outfit oh and throws my hands you can also he also regenerates okay at one point like he gets his arm chopped off in a hilarious fashion like his arm chops off at like a you know a perfect circle and then it grows back yep the art's pretty good in that one that one has the has the sex story in there okay uh this is ballista ballistic there is a gun character it's not ballistic what ballistic is a korean-american hero and he's just he's just really uh he has this outfit with like grenades and pouches and yeah he's he's a vietnam war vet and he's like really distrustful of like authority in the government right and he carries weapons okay yes yes but that's not the gun one no there's another one who's a great name you're gonna love him uh justice league international bloodlines introducing england's newest champion lionheart with the actual heart of a lion lionheart actually uh is not a new blood oh uh richard plant has armor and he's also a descendant of richard the first oh you don't say because he wields a blade and shield yes he also hit the bloodline that he carries of richard the first uh is like an antidote to the effects of the aliens oh so he's super important no he just isn't a member of the new bloods but is also introduced in this book um were they hunting down mythical beasts and he found a talking lion and the talking lion like injured him and then to save his life he had to cut out part of the lion's heart and put it in his own so that he and the lion were linked well i'm just saying that would be a very cool idea no one should make that one a terrible idea with a dragon the t-1000 razor sharp yep razor shark razor sharp that's her name razor sharp that's just a description of what her arms are my arms are razor sharp yes i am raised or shall call you razor sharp yes much like her wit they also establish that her legs can also become razors oh good it's not just the other what does that do can hurt to become a nope just the arms and legs not that great of a power nope it's not my legs can become blades too i can't walk or run with it because i don't have feet at that point you can stand on one leg and then make the other one a blade yeah and then switch let me get tired uh you've got superman in action comics uh loose cannon yep loose cannon purple hulk yup with hair a long hair he he is a loose cannon and so he calls himself that all right hawkman annual uh mongrel yep who's just a dude he's like a monster though isn't he nope he just yeah he actually looks like a renegade cool guy yeah joshua shannon is uh he he blasts dark forces uh okay yeah he's hit he's shooting something out of his hand there yep yeah he's like a combination grifter and gambit yep that's what he is cool all right cool uh legion of superheroes annual with jam yup jam jam with two m's jam is uh he's just grunge from gen13 uh he he talks like that he acts like that he's skateboards the legion brings him into the future uh to heal his wounds he is insufferable he demands they send him to like because he's in the future and they can do space travel he's like take me to a place with like hot babes so they take him to like an amazonian planet full of hot babes because he can use his a he can use mind control and so he uses them to you know what violate women in the future in space oh but it's in the future in space so it doesn't really matter it's not like real hopefully the legion you know goes back in time and warns their parents not to let them happen but you know yeah and that's so they just get rid of him and they send him back to the present he sucks he's the worst i hate him the most understandably so all right we've got green arrow annual now i hate him the most with the hook and the horror hook hook yep what do you think he has a hook is it on his hand yep he's on his hand yep they might as well call him aquaman right you've already got something he has a hook handle that's a trident sir or a weird speaker yeah that's right yeah it was a harpoon yeah yeah and hook was a very popular movie at the time oh yeah you know who kids love captain hook he's super badass that's spielberg you know uh that's a geist geist it's terrible yeah how do you spell that g-e-i-s-t that's pronounced guest guest star yeah and we're introducing the tara smith terror smith tara smith tara smith he can get into your nightmares and make monsters what he like turns his whole family into monsters but only for a little while says he he makes a little nightmare live yeah yeah maybe he reaches into your brain and makes your worst no i've read it he literally just touches this like children and they turn into monsters but they only turn into a monster for like half an hour and then they turn back it's as long as rem sleep lasts yeah right all right adventures of superman sparks sparks uh can wield lightning yep okay earth plague is now finished yes earth plague is over and now it's death storm there is still a plague but it is you know subsiding yeah well it's still a plague well it's morphed into a death storm it's it's it got even worse it's the next stage the weather once it passes category 5 earth plague it is technically categorized as a death storm it's like uh you know epidemic pandemic yeah plague right exactly death storm death storm this says where parasites rule hell world but there is no no the character is packs they introduce packs packs pax is like the last survivor of his homeworld he fought these things and and and like closed the interdimensional doorway that keeps the rest of them from coming through oh um so if you want like this taking place on hell world no there is no hell world it's just a it's just a name so okay i was assuming that was where he was from or something so how do we describe our world as right now when these things are here right yeah once you reach death storm level it's a hell world yeah earth becomes hell world it's not it's actually none of that book takes place on earth it's all in space with uh pax meeting up with and joining the legion he has superpowers he was like trapped on their world and was like passed around by these creatures like over and over and over again it's like every time they bit him he got new powers oh he is he is uh stupid and i i don't like him either but you know there's very few characters in this book i do enjoy that's fair but pax is also introduced okay uh eclipso annual with prism what the hell is eclipso elypso is a super villain we actually dealt with him in the suicide squad versus justice league book uh eclipsa was like a like a like a i hesitate to call him a demon but he more or less is that uses the eclipso diamond to manifest or appear when he possesses other people eclipsa gets his own book prism invented like a nuclear fusion reactor using an eclipso diamond and uh eclipso attacks and messes everything up and then he gets bit by one of the aliens and now he's a friggin crystalline entity he can he could make prisms and you know shoot light and stuff so he's great for a seventh grade science class totally and that is a rave or a rave fair eclipso actually winds up like following one of the aliens home and finds out about the place but the alien like doesn't want to be followed so he kills the woman that eclipso is possessing but it's okay because like eclipse is a villain anyway so like if you're reading eclipse though you're gonna enjoy it because like you like this gross monster oh and uh the clypso diamonds go in people yeah uh and apparently uh this person was left with their head but then the rest of them was bones yeah well he stripped them of their flesh you don't see that every day weird i thought he wanted spinal fluid he did that too yeah sometimes they rip people apart it's really arbitrary seemingly the only ones that they don't rip apart are the ones they also give powers to right maybe incidentally maybe everybody would get powers these guys would actually be the heroes giving everyone super powers yes you know every once in a while they didn't rip people apart right or maybe no one has the power to not survive from being ripped apart uh we've got teen titans annual introducing chimera yep okay american make illusions cardinal sin and samaritan these are the brothers these are the two brothers two brothers yay yeah i just remember them are they are they blood brothers they are real brothers are they named abel and kane no no they're named cardinal sin and samaritan yeah good samaritan oh no so like the brothers one's a priest and one's a bad guy they both get spinal tapped and then they flip and one's a bad guy the other one's like gonna save the day it sucks so so cardinal sin and samaritan are two sides the same current [ __ ] you oh kind of like uh no no no nothing it's not like anything it's not like anything anything's an idea and this is not what did samaritan pre-exist no oh okay they're both created at the same time okay uh we've got the demon annual uh oh written by garth ennis and that's fitting because this is introducing punisher no it's hitman oh i'm sorry it's hitman but it is punisher though that's tommy monahan the only character to escape from bloodlines because it was written by garth ennis and then garth ennis kept using him and then hitman got his own so what powers does hitman get he can see through things and has mild telepathy it's gonna say he has the ability to buy guns yep i mean hitman is the only character people like i noticed that one's the only one that's polly bagged it's cause it's worth a lot okay because that character still exists yup did they even bother to like kill off these characters that they didn't use later oh yeah okay actually uh super boy prime laservisions all of them at once during infinite crisis he's freaking out and he just goes and the new blood's like let's let's get him well not all of them but all the other ones all the ones that i left at that point practically all of them are dead at this point like in continuity i mean it's been new 52 but you know after that uh everything's been restored i think they're probably still dead right but prime time bring back the new bloods or blood pack just the blood just you don't need all the new blood but hitman became such a thing or the blood brothers please uh but hitman got his own book and a crossover mini series hitman jla uh hitman also met up with ba hitman is a hitman in gotham so batman hates him and garth dennis of course thinks batman is super dumb and and hilarious so having hitman operate in gotham for him is like a fun opportunity so every time the batman deals with tommy monaghan he's like duh i hate you and superman meets tommy monahan and tommy monahan uh only has any regard for superman uh-huh tommy's like you're cool you're you're the you're the best of them and why would a hitman think that because garth dennis thinks that it's because yeah but you're a hitman yeah you kill people yeah i don't know specifically doesn't right but like you can because you're superman the rest of us you know we're down in the dirt but you do represent like what we can be not me but you know we as a people hitman ends up in the future there's a story where uh these things come back like garth ennis is like hahaha [ __ ] you i won't let you forget never forget because you made me invent this character through this so i'm gonna i'm gonna enjoy it yeah but i'm also not gonna let you forget that it's because this dumb idea that sucks that you want to forget exists now you know like years removed and so they're coming back and they're like it justly goes i guess we should like they need you know they need to find them and so they're like well the new bloods could sense them so like are there any of those new bloods left and batman's like oh god oh we've talked to the new bloods i know one of them because flash like no not the new bloods are the worst i hate them and batman's like i know one and so he gets tommy to come to the watchtower he goes to the moon there was also another story where hitman teamed up with green lantern the young greenlander kyle rainer who had not been invented yet because hal okay hal has a broken arm at the end of the story because like literally the return of superman happens they defeat mongol and cyborg superman and then they immediately go into bloodlines blah blah bath and uh and then how loses it and becomes parallax but in between that bloodbath and uh so after all that you know kyle meets up with tommy he has no idea who he is and they team up reluctantly there you know but it's still a pretty fun team up and so when they're on the watchtower you know tommy's like hey green lantern what's up and greenland's like oh no and batman's like you know this man like you willingly worked with him are you [ __ ] kidding me there is a like moral expectation of leaguers and then tommy bones into superman like tommy what's up man like everyone's there to make a family batman literally batman is like damn it and then superman's like what we're talking about and greenland is like oh batman which is lecturing us on morality superman please take it away what is superman's reason for having a pleasant conversation with tommy yeah superman doesn't know that tommy is a hitman he bumps into tommy they have this really nice heart to heart the superman's like well you're okay bye yeah time's like woo good thing he doesn't know i murder people for a little bit well i looked him in the eye and i took his measure that's right yeah and then that is superman goddamn good guy and then batman is like he's a contract killer clark oh and superman's like what tommy you lied to me and i'm like oh right is garth and it's right yeah that's right everyone's an idiot yeah you never specifically asked if i was a contract killer so i didn't tell you right well that's not a lie nope there's no such thing about lies with mission anyway so uh moving on uh we got whatever character deathstroke the terminator's annual okay with gunfire gunfire can turn anything into a gun yeah it looks like he's holding a brick yep no he's holding a gun that brick becomes a gun what does that mean i don't understand it means more into a gun no gun or does it just fire bullets fire is rick that fires it's a brick that fires bullets like a gun that he is approximating the brick to be if he knows what gun it is would the building just become a giant it would become a giant cannon or gun yes what is it fire it fires magic bullets that are conjured from his powers this is the dumbest thing i've ever heard there's literally a scene where he holds a ladder and the ladder fires bullets gunfire can't make gunfire when the bullets hit things well they become constructs like they like once he touches them it changes the properties of the ladder to become a ladder gun that can shoot ladder bullets lateral little small ladders no no they're just bullets because the gun because the ladder is basically it the ladder there's no good explanation for it let's pretend like it physically replaces the ladder with an interdimensional gun like the gun exists in a different plane of existence and so what we see as a ladder is actually like an ak-47 so it fires bullets okay and the bullets are when when they hit people they remain yeah or do they like dissipate they we don't see the dissipation but my assumption would be after they've done their damage and he drops the the the the object that he is turning into a gun they would disappear but the damage is done right but they're still because they did happen that a time traveler okay so it's like if green lantern was making bullets and guns it's just it still hurts you but then it goes away when it does it does it goes away does he ever have to reload his ladder i don't think so i've only seem to use the ladder once but then again i've only seen him do anything once because bloodlines so why would he need to turn objects into a gun why wouldn't he just like carry like a stick and just use that as his gun because because there are objects everywhere yeah what if you're in a place where there are no objects what if you're in a white room that he's in trouble i'm sure he has stuff right like playing cards what happens if you run out of stuff but he cries but there's always stuff stuff that is a great question and i want to see that maybe it has to be physically separate from me he has to like cut off a fingernail each story is a self-contained epic that explains these chara introduces them gives them their powers and then sets them off on a path some of them uh you know link up others are loners like loose cannon although he does link up uh but they all eventually you know they they feel compelled to go to a location meanwhile you know people are being like you know towns being taken over by one of them so like it becomes a problem so it becomes a problem well like a problem that's like the world is aware of like the president calls like a national crisis right where's the justice league it sucks they were just decimated by doomsday like a couple of months ago yeah that's superman they're nothing yeah yeah they were so it's a really bad time for the world for this this invasion perfect time for new blood there's actually a sequence where bill clinton is like please new bloods i hear you can hurt them because like you know the heroes are powerless to stop them also the aliens the aliens are becoming like almost impervious yeah yeah no one can beat them our weapons are futile again why does the cyborg superman just blow him up with his heat vision he's got other [ __ ] to do plus he's defeated between like while it's happening oh because he was on the cover of one of these books yeah because he's so cool looking i see he he plays a role in it but not against the aliens he's doing his own thing each story is a story about the titular character not the the other new blood titular character but the real titular character like the character for whom this book is actually printed so bloodlines is an event about how incapable all the heroes are at this moment in time yes so it's almost like something prophecy of like don't you hate all of these kids you hate everyone we publish well they're like well i mean the reality is none of you [ __ ] are buying any of these books anyway so like i think you've already made my point so how am i supposed to know that you have a new character if i'm not buying your goddamn book because you heard about bloodlines you saw like edge and you're like what i want to know who that character is i want to know more about him yeah cause you hate our existing characters so much maybe you like these [ __ ] characters this is what you like yeah you like the [ __ ] please no and everyone was like no everyone threw up their hands no no you're not fooling anybody you're just pissing off you're excited bought one book because robin was like because robin was in it no yeah and then of course don't worry marvel will do the same thing when they do heroes reborn where they're like okay it's not about new characters right we saw what happened with bloodline we saw we saw bloodlines let's just get the people who made those shitty books like let's just ask rob liefeld to do captain america right that's the trick yeah that'll be great nope that's not it either so what was it though why did those image books sell so well oh because they looked awesome right i guess is the problem like you can't just it's actually a perfect storm uh it was they looked awesome the artists had been building a career based off of the previously established characters right like todd mcfarlane jim lee wiles patacio eric larson they're all showing you rad ass versions of characters that you've seen a thousand times but never like this so suddenly people are following these artists and right at that perfect time between establishment and irrelevancy they all pulled together and created a publishing company where they're essentially drawing the same characters but with no but with all the fanfare plus the added boost of the speculators market so it's the added oomph of people buying dozens of copies of one worthless comic book you know i got one to read and then 11 to save yes and the the the seemingly backing of the youth being like oh my god right this is the future this image is the future and this is [ __ ] cool like i love this and it's like well the kid says it's awesome yeah i better buy a hundred copies yeah and in 10 years 20 years that kid will be in their 20s or 30s they'll be able to pay top dollar for these mint condition yeah young bloods wild cats spawns savage dragons they certainly won't grow up and think it's [ __ ] stupid or being horribly embarrassed by being fans of them that being said i mean like there are some of them that are like objectively fun or they're trying something yeah but i mean the image level revolution comes from a place of exploitation and opportunity right yeah well the things that that cause it to happen or literally just cannot be reproduced i mean that's why this doesn't work that's right you can't replicate it and it will never come again like you can't do it ever again because now we've caught wise to it it's just one of those things where it's like it's lightning in a bottle like everything was happening at the right time and objectively no one had seen art like that like their art was new and fresh so bloodlines rolls on you know it goes from being like a quiet little like secret invasion all the way up until a full-blown invasion which is really there's still six of them it's like they replicate or spores fall off and become more no they're just they're just so effective and so unstoppable and they they like they like run through malls like you know they it's not like it's all happening in back alleys like if you read robin like i did i was like oh man like how are they gonna stop these guys because like like razor is hiding and one of them just goes right it just like gets her that's his whole appearance in that book is just it gets her he gets her i know i'm like what the [ __ ] is that like as a kid i'm like i don't even know what's happening like well because you didn't read all the no i didn't even know there was an invasion right so as far as i'm concerned you know like they're just they're just quietly getting no they're like they're they're big they're you know brazen yeah and you know the police are powerless stop them yes and so are the heroes they're terrible at it because they're also an effectual lame so but there's an implication that the new bloods that were created by them have some enhanced ability to fight them yes and of course some of them have like not turned themselves in but like reveal that they were changed as a result of being bitten or spinal tapped what's nightblade gonna do i mean he's gonna walk and throw knives at them arguably he doesn't do anything he shows up that's all he needs to do because at the end of the day of course a care bear stare defeats them yeah but we'll get into that but like you know it is it it gets ramped up and uh there's a great uh culmination where basically the us government's like okay amanda waller we need you like you clearly know better oh so they just put all their trust and hopes into amanda waller who basically just gets all the heroes together clinton like begs the new bloods to come out of hiding yeah but some people like blame them or think that they might be in cahoots they're associated with the aliens okay so yeah well i saw you on tv with them yeah yeah and even though you say you were fighting them well not even well you don't fight them it's more just like i know you're associated with them so yeah people it's immediately you know we didn't have a problem with these aliens until the new bloods came along yeah it's like oh you're also kind of creating a mutant situation yeah they don't even try no no it's that people don't trust them these guys are rebels on the edge they're bad asses they're cool and they don't they don't conform right they don't take they don't follow your rules that's right so they're not part of your justice league damn right these are new bloods maybe they'll be part of a blood pack but only some of them so waller uh she gets like the the the league together she basically just like calls every hero she can right and just says like we're gonna deal with them so that you know the the league engages the aliens like all at once yeah and uh you know they take out they don't take out any of them but they do capture one of them and take them home okay to experiment or at least like figure out what's going on with them right interrogate them i like the idea that their experiment on it yeah let's just [ __ ] with them no so they take glonth who's the one who actually approximated his visage on a humanoid looking alien member of the purple people from the first story okay that's why he's just okay doesn't matter he just looks like a like a ginger but like because they took glonth you know the aliens are freaking out they're worried because like they can't be separated and they need all the precious spinal fluid they've been carrying and then oh no we're innocent we were able to conform into people when we had six with five it's impossible not only that but like we won't be able to accomplish our purpose with so they carry the spinal fluid within them well they take it and then they it turns out they dump it into a thing but like they also need blunt to physically be there because they need to enact their plan the whole big scheme all of them need to be there all i'm saying is there are six levers and if we don't want paul six at the same time it's not gonna work it's gonna happen with five we could afford to lose one and we lost too far away anymore yeah yeah so uh they spread out they try and find their base and they ultimately find it you know they find it in the swamps of metropolis so they put together their plan and it's basically okay so superman is here superman's come back back yeah wonder woman's there okay but he's not at full strength at this point right now he's back oh he is he they don't care oh like they're not it doesn't because i'm trying to try to figure out like well why doesn't he just like punch them until they he tries he tries a lot and uh and and just doesn't work because they're from another dimension that he's not affected by he's not a new blood we need to bring back superman and get people excited about the fact the syrians back but also talk about how lame and ineffectual he is to justify these [ __ ] new bloods we've just introduced well yeah we have to we have to hinder him so it's a tightrope so anyway they they basically come up with like a solution where they have to infiltrate the base and waller comes up with this whole solution which is kind of fun uh where you know she sends it like a group of pretty lame-powered characters like it's like robin's on the team and nightwing and they go in and like what the hell are we supposed to do and then the aliens find them and then like actual superpower characters like blast out of the floor get them they were bait they were bait yeah it's kind of fun what happens if one of these guys gets like you know stabbed with spiders probably will die because most statistically speaking you'll die right because they kill a lot of people but uh yeah so uh the the aliens are like we gotta we gotta activate the taker the taker is the big plan that's the big plan oh the taker and so uh you know they they go and like they they the heroes amass they're full force like everybody all the big heavy hits everybody like even the little hitters they also have to get involved yep and uh when they infiltrate the base and they deal with the aliens uh when they get inside they notice like the base keeps going further and further down like burrowing well like there's something deep and it's so deep we can't even see it but tentacles blast out and grab some of them and continues to do so uh and ultimately the alien's like okay it's time and they're like they they regurgitate some of their spinal fluid into like the the vat which goes into the machine of their ship and then the tentacles are of course connected to the ship because the ship looks like an egg not just for style it's also an egg but also it's not really an egg it's like a metamorphosis chamber it doesn't matter the aliens go in and like they all like sacrifice themselves by throwing themselves into like the bottomless pit and get grabbed by the tentacles this is why they need all six because it needs at least six and a maximum capacity seven to activate the taker and it's basically that like they die so so if this egg is one giant cell yeah an organism they're the mitochondria they're the mitochondria it's the cause of the powerhouse of the cell they are the powerhouse of themselves they give it energy they do they do indeed so they they go in and like all of the aliens that we love and remember like glonth go into this like you know their their sacrifice to this thing yeah to the taker to the taker and their energy becomes the taker and the taker is just a giant [ __ ] alien that's it yeah it's just big it's just big just a big one this is their big nefarious scheme with your blood pack you may have been able to hurt us when we were small but but you won't be able to hurt the taker no yes that's right and the taker is going to take the world yeah it's a crafty and yeah end of the world monster exactly yeah so uh they all uh attack the taker and the taker eats everybody except for superman who who narrowly escapes they let him get away uh they're like superman go and he's like no i'll leave you and they're like oh you gotta stay all my yep so they all get eaten and the taker uh like blasts out of its egg and goes on a rampage ah but uh much like uh jonah and the whale they're still alive inside they are of course yeah because we're not going to kill everyone in the dc universe to make way for [ __ ] gun edge so good why can i remember the names of the shitty characters i don't know but that's great he replaces superman but superman meets up with like some of the new blood who have been drawn to it the idea here is that like you know some part of them imprinted onto them or copied and so as a result like they feel like they can feel them they can feel like when the when the taker has emerged they're like oh it's time and that's why they all clandestinely arrive around the exact same time despite the fact they're all different points in the country the taker has arisen yes or uh close to counters yeah they're just drawn they're just drawn they don't know why yep so they go and uh so they meet up with superman and flash and flash is like these suck and superman's like i don't like this but you know what like let's give them a try because green arrow couldn't stop them so why are flash's eyes like this because he's new and cool and his cowl does not show pupils barry allen's cow will show pupils all the heroes now if they wear a cowl they don't show their eyes like batman yeah like batman batman's has the coolest kill yeah they actually address it yeah remember it being white though well it's because they probably didn't draw it that way but they asked them in post to recolor it oh because the art in this is horrible otherwise it looks like daredevil yeah like don't do the daredevil eyes no none of that red blanket don't make it red all right yeah the the art is inexcusable by the way which like betrays the lacquer get the point then no like you don't you can't beat image because you don't have the one thing that's actually the most important thing the image it's all it is like that's the thing is that dc like like you copied all the worst things about doing it here's the thing though all the artists who formed image quit marvel right none of them worked for dc no some of them did but left to work for marvel and then left marvel and then left marvel to make image and then what's actually funny about that story is they then went to dc oh really yeah from the direction of mcfarland uh they all they they went to marvel and they're like hey we all quit [ __ ] you and then they went across the street to dc and dc was like oh my god what what what are you doing here here's everything and they're like we just want to let you know we're not going to come work for you either oh no what then why did you come why are you coming here it's literally that so maybe maybe they were just feeling it they were just like oh my god still reeling from just being invited to a meeting just to be told to get [ __ ] yeah wow but what did we do to you what i feel like a phone call wouldn't suffice right or just reading about it that's kind of an epic [ __ ] you it is that's like it was burning your bridges it was their way of being like it's it's this or nothing we can't go back like we right maybe they because i remember seeing interviews in like a little documentary they made where it's like they were like i don't know why the [ __ ] we even did that and i'm like i think i know why and it's like because they were because todd was like this way no one can say yeah you know screw this no one can back out yep yeah no we burned our bridges both bridges just to the ground yep but it would have been easy to convince them to because you gotta you get them like hyped up on like no no it's [ __ ] that they own all your characters all the stuff that you create that's right it's [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't care that you didn't work with them previously and don't personally have a grudge against anyone who personally works there the idea of your business practices yeah it's the same they're just as bad as marvel they're the same thing yeah because of the way they operate [ __ ] them how dare you yeah yeah i agree with that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah let's go say [ __ ] you let's go just yell [ __ ] you in their face yes that's normal oh let's have them hold a meeting let's go buy bagels and danishes get some freedom with their powers combined they defeat them they literally pour all their energies into animus who makes the big construct oh [Music] make a big thing and have a kaiju fight and literally animus bonks the taker in the head with its head and knocks it out i'll have you know headbutts are rad and cool yeah that's awesome i'm surprised i didn't kick him in the nuts oh my god yes oh and uh his nuts are in his head flash discovers that like it's like trailing this big this big tail or whatever and it's actually it's stomach because it's an alien it could be anywhere and the stomach has all the heroes in it and they free the heroes and the heroes are free so yay good for them um right but yeah so uh the the animus bonks the main bad guy right it's so hard there's the ladder gun i mean like and by the way they all play clutch moments like each one characters who can see like the the physiology of the taker see weak points so they know to attack that those areas whatever i'll have you know there's no ladder gun there's a railroad it is a railroad gun i'm sorry railgun you can see the confusion though because at no point is there coloration differentiation between the slats and the rails to make it look like a railroad that's right but not only that but like it just looks like it's a ladder yeah so i apologize that's my fault so anyway the eyes are too close together yeah i don't know what tracks look like so they they bonk the alien into submission and then the green lantern corps throws it into the sun oh finally the core shows up yep and that's it they just throw it in the sun and it dies right then the hero's like what do we do now the new bloods what do we do now well i guess some of us will start our own books uh i'm sure we'll just we'll just wait for the throngs of new dc fans to come pick up our comics and and usher us into a new realm of relevance and popularity welcome to your new justice league literally after the new new bloods new bloods defeat the taker all the heroes show up in one big panel and say maybe we can help now yeah it's like a joke yeah they can clean up they can clean up they can pick up the corpse of the monster and throw it into the sun yes that's right we can do our move we could do superman's move which is throwing the monster into the sun but it does take all of us yes to do it superman can't by himself for some reason he's not strong enough to pick up this monster thrown into the sun well yeah like he's just like look am i depowered am i not what does it matter no you know what i could pick up that monster maybe but i want these guys to feel like useful they were all benched so well so i'll let like five different people help yeah i need their help or do i i mean i don't i'm superman but i don't need the new bloods either or the blood pack oh you did yeah you did yeah oh yeah they had to summon a kaiju as they're coming up with this idea the edge says yo if my knife powers can be used we're going to need everybody's help yeah everything will help edge anyone else it's very it's very helpful yeah everyone's considering knife stuff thanks razor sharp if we need uh coleslaw we'll be sure to call you exactly i love how how inclusive they are sure yeah yeah totally use some knives in our energy projection plan how about me i'm a scot gym teacher and i love america uh yeah also that he leads them more or less like he forces characters who are normally like loose cannons not to be confused with loose cannon and tm and copyright uh to so fall in line i mean listen animus does form blade hands so maybe yeah and gets the razor sharp the edge oh those look like yeah they get they get edges like prisms triangles oh yeah the triangles are in there so they incorporated like four of the characters yep four of the carrot well the rest of them are just represented in the in animus is you know overwhelming power is animus grabbing one of his knife hands and firing bullets i mean maybe maybe they grab his own throat just fire his gun you know what it is that bach that head butt he's using his head as one has a gun boom yeah yeah yeah headshot booyah how do these people then go into obscurity i mean people just don't buy them and dc doesn't have any like faith in any of them so that's right so they don't really push it they don't really push it like they they push them in as much as they imply that they're going to but then they really don't they really don't yeah i mean some of them do get their own books and they make the blood pack and they made the blood package it was a shameless cash grab among an ocean of shameless cash grabs by dc but yet another chapter in the noble tradition of masking an event as an effort to create new characters and not unlike its previous attempts sometimes one character will emerge from them to survive and it's really up to the popular culture at large to determine that uh apparently it's hitman yeah and it was hit man i was surprised i honestly because maybe it's because of my bias because i bought the only one i thought my money was on razor sharp right because she had a personality and a whole backstory yeah but uh you know don't bet against garth venice man he created hitman and that's definitely a prelude to his punisher run uh but hitman did survive the test of time unlike anything else from bloodlines but yes in fact the new 52 tried to new 52 bloodlines itself there was a bloodlines book that was trying to go a more horror angle they land they are body snatchers ah but uh no one gave a [ __ ] then just as nobody gave a [ __ ] 25 years ago don't bet on bloodlines hey do you guys remember bloodlines do you want to read it now right or do you think that's a cool title and you've never heard of bloodlines either way anybody nobody has money no okay that's the end of that but like all i could think of when they made the dark matter universe out of dark nights metal and they were like look at all these characters they had the audacity to make a poster you could you could buy that's that featured like i don't know 10 or more characters that are all like just just like what and everybody had their money on sideways making it and ironically none of them did i feel like these guys should be the dragons that destroy the world oh or maybe that weird taker yeah the taker should be the dragon that'd be kind of fun i i'm disappointed that there's virtually no references to it you know in the last 20 years but i am impressed that there are any after it actually right before batman r.i.p like when when when grant morrison killed batman yeah right before that in a batman in the outsider's comic book one of these things made it and batman fights it and it just they fly off into the night and then no one wanted to write about it anymore so they just forgot and left it alone like in between that story and r.i.p like batman died and they just went like oh he dealt with it who cares like nobody wanted to deal with it so like ah man battle take care of it right there are literally two references to bloodlines direct references that use the universe and the in-universe stuff and you know nothing comes of it but it's it's fun meta commentary it doesn't it's not completely forgotten it's not amanda waller's here yes and she essentially sends a team to die she does as is her mo yes yes because they just get eaten well they all get eaten yeah so she literally sends the whole dc universe to die yeah it's kind of fun it's like the biggest suicide squad it is yeah yeah it's also not very much of a plan no like her plans all seem to be get a bunch of people together and have them go fight a thing yeah i mean that is the plan it's ultimately the success do you really need amanda waller for that i feel like anybody could do that no but it's fun to have to pull her in yeah but when you have amanda waller do it you know you're going to lose a few i'm just trying to understand what her ruthlessness her efficiency is willing to make the call yes yeah that's right that's right and like you can't trust like bill clinton to command the justice league to do that he doesn't know what their yeah like someone needs to be like the person who tells them yeah and talks to them and says like you gotta do this yeah well she she is what you signed up she was like teams like she's she has a contingency team like that's left in the wings just in case team c fails right right it's kind of fun to see amanda waller in action and have them all go like damn it amanda waller okay we all know that you actually do know what you're talking about right but uh ultimately everyone fails i mean yeah if you have enough teams eventually one of them's gonna break through right and then there your plan works was the new bloods part of her plan or no oh so her plan does fail oh yeah and only because superman survives does the new blood coalesce because he gets to go over there and endorse them and then they they do their thing they would have done it anyway but superman's there to kind of shepherd them he's like the character that like i approve readers i know you're a little bit wary about these new bloods maybe you didn't read the other 23 issues of this story right but superman's here to tell you i'm back to life pick up superman adventure superman man of steel don't stop buying all four books but also pick up maybe 23 other books yeah give these give these guys a shot whoa this book has a guy who's wearing a death a superman t-shirt get eaten by one of these things yeah that's edge edge is a uh he's like an older brother his son his brother his little brother made that shirt with paint so it it it looks like the death of superman shirt oh but it's not it's not it's like it's not a ghoulish memorial right it is in fact like it would be if i wore it right yes well it'll be more deliberate if we were yeah yeah well i wouldn't wear a shirt like that if superman actually had died and maybe he died like a day or so before right that would be in poor taste yes but don't forget that in the aftermath of the death of superman at like his funeral there are street merchants who are selling that shirt because dc was also selling that shirt right because they are ghouls yeah by the way uh dc refers them as the blood line parasites okay like so i just think they're called parasites right but they are what has nothing to do with the bloodline there's nothing new with bloodlines just that's what we're calling it so i know no effort so you said the parasites come back at some point they do come back well they they come back into play you know not not to some significant degree but uh like at some point or another like smaller ones come and they can like make a puppet you you know if somebody comes up with another idea they always come back yeah well they they come back twice and like 10 years between each other but they do return so i think it's about time at the very least for if if you're not willing you cowards to do a sequel to bloodlines and either resurrect or make new new blood at the very least could you make a trade because carrying these things around is a little cumbersome yeah but who would buy i mean this here's the thing if you need a trade that's how many books there's trades for millennia they'd have to leave they'd have to leave a lot out or it would be a gigantic frigging book yeah it'd be an omnibus yeah that's what they needed they needed an omnibus well you make a multiple volumes like bloodlines volume one through four oh wow yeah well yeah they've already got it yes and bloodlines uh earth death it's storm it's death story it's outbreak earth plague death storm so yes those are the three chapters yeah yeah there you go three books it's already it's already mapped out come on because when i when i tell you to buy this all you can do is go on a little adventure of your own yeah for five years we can't even help you because you won't put it out don't help yourself your fools so please hashtag bloodlines dc get us our trade paperbacks i'm telling you nostalgia is big you know and you know not a lot of people have read bloodlines right so a lot of people be like i guess i gotta get it i mean like the and that's when i get all that i don't remember i have to get all of it nobody remembers it not including hit man who's your favorite new blood doesn't have to be member of the blood pack yeah any of them who's your favorite member throwing it open to the whole the whole game whatever however you can't say slot either slot's an alien he doesn't count yeah and you can and no lionheart he's not a newbie no no lionheart he sucks but everybody else looking forward to seeing the comments littered with names that are super dumb and uh anyway that's it see you next week thanks a lot for watching five years in the bacon oof bloodline but hey you got here i did it we did it did you tell anyone you were gonna do this no wow no it was an amazingly well-kept secret yeah and we were actually gonna do uh suicide squad tie-in but black widow did so horribly i'm like [ __ ] tie-ins we're doing a dc book that's pretty much a suicide squad anyway oh my god it's actually the biggest suicide squad you might say that amanda waller forms dc's biggest suicide squad is going to be the title i don't think i'm gonna do i mean it's not gonna work that would be uh

Channel: ComicPop

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Id: 8LQObzk0nDQ

Length: 81min 51sec (4911 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 04 2021