The Great High School Nerf War - Part 1

so every year at my high school the entire senior class holds a nerf war that spans about four weeks near the end of the school year there were about four hundred people in my graduating class so it was a pretty big deal I'm not sure how popular of a high school tradition this is but there were a few other schools in the area I knew of who did something similar my school took it pretty seriously though there was a prize pool of $1,000 if your team won and you even had to sign a freaking waiver which was surprising because it was all organized by a bunch of high schoolers who really just wanted to shoot each other with nerf guns on the surface the rules seemed pretty simple you and a few other people registered yourself as a team to the official nerf war moderators then you were randomly assigned another team that you would face off against for a week if you were hit with a Nerf dart by the opposing team you were out being eliminated meant you could not shoot other people the team with the most remaining members by the end of the week wins and moves on to the next week if both teams had an equal amount of members remaining by Saturday then the winner would be decided in an organized shootout under the supervision of the moderators on Sunday as much as I hate to make the comparison the general concept was pretty much a team battle royale between the people in my class you know but in real life honestly it was the og Battle Royale before all these video games came out because this happened four years ago there were some small intricacies that made the rules a bit more complicated first of all school grounds school related events and workplaces were off-limits to the nerf war you also could not be shot in your own household unless someone that lives there granted that person entrance this basically meant no breaking and entering because you know that's illegal pretty much anywhere else was fair game this meant yes you could be shot simply walking to your car to go to school and you could be shot while buying milk at the grocery store and you could be shot while at your soccer practice for your non school-related Club soccer team which was a very real threat for me at the time and now that I think about it you could be in the middle of church or your grandma's funeral or something and some dude with a nerf gun would start pelting you with darts from behind the casket other rules if you hit somebody else's gun with a dart they were out this prevented people from using them as shields darts could not be thrown they must be fired from a contraption as a projectile and unfortunately there were times when it needed to be clarified that you couldn't do things that were clearly illegal like of course you can't block somebody in their driveway with your car and no you may not physically restrain that girl in order to shoot her with a Nerf dart people were really dumb sometimes and lastly is my favorite rule there was a way to acquire invincibility you could become impervious to the Nerf dart if you stripped down to nothing but your underwear you were immune to being shot but you could also not shoot back it was a last-ditch measure taken to get yourself out of a tight pinch guys had to wear tighty whities as their underwear colors could vary and girls had to be wearing a bra and underwear no sports bras you also could not be wearing any other clothing such as socks or shoes my favorite specification is that if you have a backpack it must be explicitly carried in the left hand in order for the underwear rule to apply not the right hand that would be a clear violation of the nerf war regulations I mean what kind of idiot would strip down to his underwear and then actually believe he could hold his backpack in his right hand how would be absolutely ridiculous I actually had to buy a pair of tighty whities specifically for this rule but I'll let you in on a little secret see I wasn't about to waste my money on multiple pairs of underwear just for a school nerf war so I wore the same pair every day for almost three weeks I'm not proud of it I did wash it every weekend though so it's not that bad is it I had heard stories of some other schools that took this rule a step further and made it so that if you stripped naked you were both impervious to being shot and could shoot back but this was not implemented at my high school there was a total of 32 teams that participated in the war I teamed up with a few friends we'll call them justine gerald jana and dirt these names are in no way similar to the actual names of these people we all grouped up under a less creative name than I would have liked which was the Justice League during our first week we were pitted against the team known as too many cooks I'd like to give an honorable mention to some of the more creative team names such as who darted and men with large darts there were also some teams that had to change their names probably because some school staff member caught wind of what was happening and was like hey that's not appropriate so it was specified that the STDs stand for the scrumptious tea cake devours the dick balls were renamed the Richards baseballs and the Ferguson Police Department was changed to the flock of pretty ducklings ahem this wasn't just a game to us it was our life for as long as we were in this it was our top priority above food sleeping and school and this is coming from a bunch of nerds that were in AP classes at the time so the first step was to get lots of guns and this is America so you can just walk into any Walmart and buy handguns powerful assault rifles and even handheld rocket launchers I am absolutely ashamed of the lack of regulation on such dangerous weaponry in this country anyways I ended up with a compact easily concealable close-range weapon that I kept on my person at all times a mid-range rapid-fire assault rifle with an enormous magazine and a long range extremely accurate sniper rifle that I made out of PVC pipe this thing was a monster it was just a blowgun but it left welts if you hit somebody from any less than 15 yards away I did end up wrapping it in black electrical tape and drawing on it one day because I was bored but we didn't stop there we had to get the most we could out of our guns you see normally nerf guns have an air compression chamber which lessens the blow of firing a dart so that they aren't super loud I interpreted this as nerf gun weak can be stronger we disassembled our guns and drilled holes into all the compression chambers so that the darts were fired with as much force as possible it may have sounded like we were firing nail guns but they also worked a lot better than before in order to have an upper hand over our opponents we had to find out everything we could about their lives where they lived where they worked where their relatives lived what color car they drove their shoe preference on windy days everything as basically meant we did a ton of online stalking we were scrolling down five years on their Facebook timelines looking up their relatives addresses on white pages calling their Aunt Susan to ask how the kids are doing all that kind of stuff we were like CIA hacker man's you know how in crime shows like Criminal Minds they always have that computer nerd that finds information on the suspect the FBI would be like we need to know at what age the suspect lost the bottom right middle incisor as a child and then the computer nerd would be like okay just give me a second while I hack his memories and then a few minutes later they'd call back and say they lost that tooth when they were eight years old and then we'd intercept the call and say actually it was one month five days and 37 minutes after they turned nine-years-old because we were just that good at finding information the first round went by relatively smoothly it was actually kind of boring thanks to the cautious and vigilant lifestyle we had all adopted none of us were shot and we managed to eliminate two of their members they were weak and therefore had to be disposed of in the second week things got much more interesting we would be facing off against the amended flock of pretty ducklings and you'll have to find out how that went next time yeah this whole story is really long so I'll have to split it up into multiple parts sorry about that think of it as a TV series where new episodes come out like once a month I'm sorry anyway thanks bye

Channel: The Sea Rabbit

Views: 7,249,780

Rating: 4.9070807 out of 5

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Id: wR451hKnD7U

Length: 9min 16sec (556 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 09 2019