The Great Emu War

hey kids today I'm going to talk about the great EMU war Sears what happened right our story begins in Australia home of the upside-down whopper the year is 1932 a very large chunk of the country's population lives on homesteads just putting seeds in the ground and waiting for food to show up you know but their lives are hard firstly Australian soil kind of blows it's pretty terrible for farming like on a scale from Margaret Thatcher's corpse to Octomom Australia's soil is a solid Hillary Clinton in fertility secondly the whole great depression things going on which automatically makes everything suck worse and third and possibly most important is the EMU infestation these gangly dill holes were all over the place just walking on crops and crapping on crops and crapping on walks and cropping on craps and crabbing on docks and captain on the rocks you get the idea so the government evaluated the situation they were like well let's see let's weigh our options here as a government we could start spending even more money to secure the welfare of our citizens through the socio-economic crisis money that we barely even have or alternatively we could just start [ __ ] slaughtering emus so at least it looks like we're helping so that's what they did major gpw meredith of the australian military was put in command at the operation and he had a total of two soldiers at his disposal each of which had a light machine gun additionally the pair was given a total of 10,000 rounds of ammunition to be spent on taking out emus so on paper that sounds like a piece of cake they're basically just big turkeys on stilts so how hard could it be apparently pretty freakin hard let me learn you kids a thing or two about emus first of all emus are tough as hell their bodies are basically like meat Laden tanks they can definitely take a bullet or three and still keep running long enough to get away secondly these [ __ ] have tactics like guerrilla warfare and ain't got [ __ ] on email warfare they start out in a big herd or flock or pod I don't really know let me google it okay group of emus is technically called a mob so you got a big mob of emus right and as soon as they sense danger they break up into a bunch of little mobs and start scattering in every direction so if you're spraying them down with a machine gun you can't just whip it around all over the place you have to focus your fire on one group at a time meaning most of the others could get away pretty easily I don't know if they had like a huddle beforehand or if this is just some coincidental product from their ridiculous bird minds but it was effective either way so between these two things taking out the emus ended up being a huge struggle here's the story on what happened so the crew went out in search of emus the first time they found a mob they started shooting before the guns were in range so most of them was got away the second time they waited until the emus were closer but then the gun jammed so most of the emus got away and this sort of pattern went on for a while at one point they tried getting on the back of a truck first so they could chase down the mob but the truck wasn't fast enough to catch up and the ride was so bumpy that they couldn't aim properly so most of the moose got away by the time they got a fourth of the way through their ammo after 2,500 shots only 300 or so had been killed which is tiny compared to the 20,000 Birds said to be roaming the outback at this point they were like alright if I have to look at one more of these Jimmy legged Big Bird wannabes I'm gonna start screaming so you know what [ __ ] it let the farmers handle it then the farmers were like hey Jack holes were still starving out here you still haven't given us those subsidies you promised we had to feed the kids [ __ ] dingo meat which you know it's a nice change of pace to have the kids eating the dingoes for once but that's beside the point could you Dick's keep at least trying to help us Thanks the guys were like all right don't get your bogans in a bundle we'll keep going if only to prove a point so they kept going just finding mops thinning them out slightly rinse and repeat until finally they only had like a hundred bullets left in total the unit only had 986 confirmed kills some emus might have also died from the wounds after the fact but still a very large portion of the hordes was still alive so the military was forced to surrender for real this time yes that's right kids the emus won the war of course the victory didn't last too long because after the failed operation the government put out a bounty on the emus and that worked pretty well something like 50,000 bounties ended up being cashed out over six months in 1934 so the lesson here kids is that if you want to commit mass murder don't crowd fund crowdsource anyway till next time I'm salmonella and thank you for watching

Channel: Sam O'Nella Academy

Views: 8,561,933

Keywords: australia, history, great depression, ostrich, gpw, meredith, meridith

Id: QOPZQHTNUs0

Length: 4min 25sec (265 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 27 2016