It’s time to break you down a Kirby episode. So, you know Lololo and Lalala, some minor
boss characters turned useless side characters? We get their origin story here. A thing absolutely no one on the planet was
asking for, no one wanted, and is not even slightly applicable to the games. You know, the thing we care about that this
show is advertising. I still haven’t gotten an explanation on
why Lololo and Lalala were renamed Fololo and Falala for the English dub. Fuckin’ 4Kids USUALLY, usually doesn’t
just rename characters that were already established beforehand for an English-speaking audience,
with at least one or two... glaring exceptions. I’m wondering if it has anything to do with
some kind of copyright garbage about the Adventures of Lolo games, but that’s just a guess,
I don’t actually know! Obviously. So, I will keep with calling them just Lolo
and Lala, because in either the original or the dub, that’s part of their names, so
I’m not wrong in either language. To start off this episode, Dedede orders Lolo
to go get his fortune. Because he has all the self respect of a middle
class housewife who calls phone psychics. Lolo and Lala are ready to get going, when
Escargoon orders Lala to stay behind. They refuse, as they do everything together
and have never once left each others’ side. Dedede gets unreasonably angry and orders
the two of them to split up or he’s gonna throw them out. There’s no good reason stated as to why
they want Lala to stay behind so much. In the original, they told Lolo to get the
fortune while Lala would stay behind and give Dedede a shoulder massage. That’s weird and awkward, so I get why they
didn’t include it in the dub, but they also didn’t replace it with anything either. Escargoon: "No reason for ya both to go." Lolo & Lala: [GASP]
Escargoon: "Fololo can fly over to the fortune teller alone." So, the conflict of this story is… Lolo and Lala really don’t want to separate,
and they’re sad about it, and Dedede is mad. Dedede: "You do as I say and split up! Or both of you is outta here!" A conflict soley set up for this specific
plot that will never ever happen again. Tiff: “Throw you out? Why?” Because they contribute nothing to the show? Lolo and Lala are in a codependent relationship. Meanwhile, Lady Like is scolding Tuff over
something or other, it doesn’t matter. Lady Like: “If we don't teach Tuff discipline,
who will? After all, we are his parents!” I mean, you know when it’s convenient for
us. I guess their desire to never be split up
causes Lolo and Lala to ask Sir Ebrum and Lady Like where exactly they came from, as
they seem to not remember. Ebrum and Like really don’t want to answer
that question, and after shooing everyone out, the two of them proceed exposit at each
other a retelling of an event for which they were both present for and both remember. Oh my god, how do you manage to manspread
when you don’t even have legs? See, when Tiff was an angry looking baby,
Lolo and Lala were just kind of dumped on them by Dedede. They then off-handedly mention that after
that, they found out that Lolo and Lala used to actually be one person. Ebrum: "Soon after, we learned they'd come
from a strange monster named Fofa. Which had, it turns out, been split into two
creatures." Quite a big reveal to just nonchalantly say
in passing. Maybe we should have… saved that reveal
for near the climax of the episode. When you deliver it like that, you make it
feel like it’s not a big deal, when it really kind of should be. This is such an out-of-nowhere concept, too. Lolo and Lala used to be one person named
Fofa in English and Lola in the original. Lololo and Lalala, in the Adventures of Lolo
games at least, are boyfriend and girlfriend, so having them effectively be twins here feels
kinda weird. In the Kirby games themselves, it’s not
clear if they’re in a committed relationship, but I’m going to take a wild guess and say
they probably are. They, at least, were certainly never two halves
of one person. In fact, they don’t have much of anything
in common with any of their game counterparts. They've never aimlessly pushed around one
block in the entire series. So, Sir Embrum and Lady Like want to keep
the information that Lolo and Lala were ever one person from them because they think it
will make them sad. I don’t know why Lolo and Lala don’t remember
it themselves, maybe they just hit their heads really hard when Dedede threw them and now
they have a VERY minor case of serious brain damage. But, uh-oh wah-wah, Kirby overheard their
conversation of the information that they both know and yet discussed out loud anyway,
and because he’s a stupid baby, so his first instinct is to just repeat these words like some kind
of inconvenient parrot. So, Dedede gets his stupid fortune, and the
fortune teller basically says to not cause problems on purpose and to fuckin’ pay them
already. Escargoon: "It says 'If you look for trouble,
your trouble will double.' Eeh!" Is your fortune teller Team Rocket? Fun fact: Voice of both Dedede and Escargoon,
Ted Lewis, voiced James for the first few episodes of the Pokemon dub, before the role
was taken over by Eric Stuart, voice of Meta Knight here. Dedede gets mad, and the only coping skill
he knows is ordering monsters, so that way EVERYONE can be dragged into his petty tantrum. Monstah Man offers him a deal on a monster
called “Slice n’ Splice” since he’s a preferred customer. Dedede: “I’m a preferred customer?!” Monster Man: "You bet!" Dedede: "Great!" Escargoon: “What must the others be like?” You know, I never thought about that before. How many other people use this service? How useful is a monster delivery service? Are multiple petty assholes across the galaxy
also trying to terrorize tiny little people that really aren’t a threat to them? Also, I’m just realizing Dedede’s got
a teleporter specifically for this, and nothing else. Why isn’t this amazing cross-galaxy teleportation
technology more utilized in Dream Land? Unless Dream Land doesn’t have this technology
and this was also from Nightmare Enterprises. In which case, how did Dedede even stumble
upon NME? I feel like I’m asking about things I was
never meant to question. Alright, anyway, he’s got Slice n’ Splice. Which is a robot lookin’ thing that is not
from the games that chops people up and mixes their body parts together. And when I word it like that, it sounds like
some kind of Human Centipede or Tusk style horror movie. No, see, it actually just mixes up people's
heads and stuff in a comedic fashion, as if they were Legos. He does this by using magic staffs that are
modeled after Mr. Shine and Mr. Bright. A couple of enemies from the games. You fight them initially in Kirby’s Adventure,
then several subsequent games, and Marx makes them fight each other in Super Star. I mean, I assume that was them. They were never named, but it’d be weird
if they were a different living sun and moon. But here they’re just some staffs. Inanimate objects for the real villain of
the episode to use. We’re not gonna put actual enemies from
the games in, but by god, we’ll dangle their image in front of your face just to taunt
you, you fuckin’ nerd. Like, alright, get ready, I’m actually going
to be mad about this for a second. This, this here. These little inanimate object cameos of Mr.
Shine and Mr. Bright. Who is this for? Because anyone who’s already a fan of Kirby
watching this is going to be pissed that they’re just a non-living cameo attached to this made
up villain instead of them actually just being the villains, and any kid you’re trying
to attract to the games with this show isn’t going to care. This show isn’t like Captain N or something
where the writer admitted he MAYBE played a level of each game that he was forced to
write for, and basically didn’t care about being any sort of faithful to it. No, the people who worked on this know Kirby,
this was overseen by Nintendo, by people who worked on the games, by Sakurai even. These had to have all been deliberate choices,
and ones I will never quite understand. This isn’t even the only time in the series
this happens, either. I distinctly remember a Poppy Bros. Jr. being
shown in a cameo at NME, only for him to never actually be important or part of an episode. And oh my god is that Mr. Frosty? Why are you taunting me like this? Back to the hijinks, Slice n’ Splice shows
Dedede how he works by switching up his and Escargoon’s heads. They’re quickly switched back and quip at
each other, which now that I think about it, Dedede and Escargoon bickering probably takes
up like twelve minutes of screentime per episode. Escargoon: "One thing's for sure, that's the
first time in your life you had a good head on your shoulders." Dedede: "Yeah, well it was real easy to carry
'cause there wasn't nothin' in it." Escargoon: "'Least I don't have a waist size
bigger than my IQ." Dedede: "AHEHEHE!!" AHEHEHE!! Normally I’d beat yo head in for sayin’
that, but damn, that was funny, boy! Having proof of concept, Triple D takes Slice
n’ Splice into town to torment anyone and everything in his path, and has Mr. Slice
and Mr. Splice mix up all the Cappies with sheep. These sheep just cannot catch a break. Also, I’d just like to point out that Sheep
Kawasaki is like… strangely adorable. Rick and Tokkori get their heads swapped,
and decide to go warn Tiff and Tuff and all them about what’s going on. Dedede is eventually threatened into putting
everyone back to normal. Which, Cappies should use threats more often,
maybe break out the guillotine, even. He seems to only rule over this one patch
of land with a population of like forty people, whomst all hate him, it’s not like this
is a giant nation ruled by democracy and half the people are Dedede supporters, no, you
guys have the privilege of breaking out the guillotine anytime you’d like, and yet you
just keep using it. That’s right, I’m victim-blaming the Cappies. Alright, so Rick and Tokkori alert the children about what’s going on. Tuff: “They got the right heads but the
wrong bodies!” Tokkori: “No kiddin’, Columbo!” Wait, Columbo exists in the Kirby universe?! What? Also, I appreciate this phrase. “No kidding, Columbo” for when your TV-Y
rating prevents you from saying “No shit, Sherlock." Kirby shows up after Ebrum and Like smacked
some duct tape over his mouth because he wouldn’t shut up about Fofa. Then Dedede shows up, then Slicey Splicey
Dicey ends up chopping Kirby in half with basically zero effort. But since monster magic, I guess, instead
of chopping him into two bloody halves, this creates two little Kirbies. One that appears to be a boy, and one that
appears to be a girl. Escargoon: “Well, well. I guess we all have a male and a female side
to our personality.” Are you ready to dissect that shit? [DEEP BREATH] If our personalities are half masculine and half feminine, then why do the majority of
people just have the one gender? I mean, I guess it’s saying that everyone
has what are considered to be masculine traits and feminine traits. But since he’s talking about personality,
that’s about the idea of gender as a social construct and not necessarily physical sex. So, why does Kirby, who is a baby and probably
doesn’t care about what gender he is, and is also gender neutral in Japan, split into
male and female Kirbies? Are they just Kirby but one contains all masculine
traits and one contains all feminine? Or does the boy Kirby just have more gray
matter density in his brain or something? And I mean, alright, as we find out later,
this is how Lolo and Lala came to be, but Lolo isn’t especially boyish, and Lala isn’t
especially feminine, they act pretty much the same, almost identical even. Man, what the hell even is gender? Like, sure, I am what is known as “girl,”
but I feel like I don’t really have an attachment to that identity. I consider it kind of irrelevant to who I
am as a person. Then there are the people who are agender
or bigender, or genderfluid, or any shade of non-binary. Where would they even fit into this mess of
philosophy? There are the people whose gender identity
is very important to them and they feel very connected to it. Sometimes in a very horribly scary way. Would they even have another differently gendered
half to their personality? Why am I questioning this, this is a baby
show from like 2001… This line about the male and female sides
of the personality isn’t even in the original. There’s no explanation in the original for
why when you split one person into two persons, they come out as one boy and one girl. I think this line was something 4Kids thought
up in some kind of desperate attempt to make sense of any of this. I’m sorry, 4Kids, but you can’t, don’t
think I don’t appreciate the effort though. However, instead of answering one question,
you just raised several more specific questions. You get a sticker for trying though. So, Lolo and Lala run away with the little
Kirbs, and get them alone, and get a chance to really look at them and realize that they
look kinda like them! Girl Kirby has a giant bow and everything. After all, a giant bow is just basic female
anatomy. Lololo: “But at least they know where they
came from.” Lalala: “Yeah, not like us.” Why are you questioning this now, anyway? Why not ten years ago? And seriously, why don’t you remember it? Like, I’m assuming it’s from the blows
to the head, but we're never are actually told. So, in order to keep the halves of Kirby safe,
Lolo and Lala decide that they have to make the ultimate sacrifice, they have to be more
than ten feet apart from each other. The horror! They each take a Kirby and fly around trying
to throw the Really Rottens off, resulting in a Scooby-Doo doors joke, because of course. Finally, Slice and/or Splice gets them cornered
and is about to obliterate them into a fine paste, but stops for a sec because he recognizes
Lolo and Lala, and decides to hold off on killing them to tell them their dumb backstory. Escargoon is contractually obligated to shut
up and wait while exposition is happening. See, Splicey Splicey was the one who chopped
Fofa Lola in half, creating them, after Nightmare decided to rip Dedede off by sending him his
OC. Monster Man: “Well, King Sucker’s back
to get his pocket picked again.” Nightmare: "Send him Fofa. Better yet, chop it and charge him double! HAHAHA!!" Monster Man: "Brilliant idea, NME." Uh, you forgot to hand up. Ah shit. Also, why did Dedede even order monsters before
Kirby showed up? Is he just that big of an arbitrary dick to
his subjects? And this is where this whole moronic twist
should have been revealed! I do not know why that bomb was dropped so
casually so early. The Kirby getting chopped in half to make
two smaller Kirbies, the scene where Lolo and Lala speculate about how the Kirbies remind
them of themselves? That was all the foreshadowing you needed,
then this is the reveal. And it would all make perfect sense. Yes, of course it’d be obvious anyway that’s
what it was building up to, but this is a baby show, everything is going to be at least
a little predictable. The important thing is it isn’t spoon fed
to us in the worst way. Also, Lolo and Lala being blue and pink makes
sense because Fofa Lola was purple. So, why for everyone else is the boy green
and the girl orange? Shouldn’t the little Kirbies be white and
red? And yeah, I know blue is a primary color,
so I guess I can’t have that complaint about Dedede’s halves. Whatever, not important, moving on. Dedede: "Ya'll look after these here scrawny
rejects, 'cause I don't want 'em!" Ebrum: “Uh, but your majesty…” Like: “We already have a brand new mouth
to feed!” Dedede: “Then you're lucky these two
ain’t got no mouths! HAHAHAHA!!" Yeah, it makes them way easier to dub! You know, regardless of the uselessness of
having the rods be Mr. Shine and Mr. Bright I don’t even know why these rods
are the sun and moon. I’m pretty sure it’s not symbolic for
anything. The moon isn’t known for... making genders. So, remember how Ebrum and Like wanted to
keep this info from Lolo and Lala because they were afraid it would make them sad? Lady Like: "Their hearts will break if they
ever learn the real story." Sir Ebrum: "Let's just hope they never hear
the name of Fofa." Well, turns out they were 100% wrong, and
they are DELIGHTED. Lala: "We finally know where we came from!" Lolo: "Right! We're not just Fololo and Falala!" Lala: "We're closer than that!" Lolo & Lala: "We're really Fofa!" Good going, guys! You refused to tell two people trying to make
sense of themselves for ten to thirteen years where they came from for no reason. I know Ebrum and Like aren’t acting as Lolo
and Lala’s parents or anything, but I think this qualifies them at least a little for
a sarcastic Parents of the Year award. Tuff: “I wonder what that sun rod does.” Piss me off mostly. So, Tiff and Tuff finally come flying back
into the plot. And blah blah blah, they manage to steal the
sun rod and get to the roof where they mash Kirby back together. And the idea of splitting up Kirby into multiple
smaller Kirbies was then used in Kirby’s Massive Heart Attack, and everyone promptly
forgot about it. Thank god you knew mashing him that that sun
rod would actually make him one person again, and not just squash him like an extra juicy
bug. Sean Splicer catches up to them, and Kirby
eats the moon rod, and once again, the most basic of abilities serves as our climax. Kirby becomes Cutter Kirby! Meta Knight pops in for all of three seconds
to tell us that! Me, as Tiff: "Oh, now you decide to show up! Yeah, thanks so much for your help back there,
Meta Knight!" Me, as Meta Knight: "Tiff, I have severe depression
from watching everything and everyone I’ve ever loved wither and die, and I physically
cannot give a damn about every tiny stupid thing you people do. I’m not even going to stick around for the
end of this. I have no attachment at all to these floating
gumballs, and I do not care about how their situation turns out. I came here to tell you Kirby’s ability,
and that's it. I’m going to go lie back down." So. Barely a fight happens, and Kirby chops Splicey
Slicey in half. This does not make two smaller versions of
him, but rather just straight up murders him. Which is a little more troubling than some
other monsters, because he was, like, a talking self-aware, like, person. But he’s a robot, so we can show his on-screen
death, don’t worry about it. Kirby chops up Rick and Tokkori, and fortunately
and unfortunately, this cutter works about the same as the moon rod, and instead of just
getting gruesomely decapitated, they get smashed back together correctly. Tiff is about to mash Lolo and Lala back together,
but they’re characters from the game that combine into a character not from the game. We can’t have what few canonical characters
we have getting exiled from the show, and can’t just go and mess with the status quo
like that. Sooo the remains of Cut Man abruptly explode,
shattering the sun rod in its entirety, while the actual squishy living beings remain completely
unharmed. While a minor disappointment for a second,
Lolo and Lala seem, you know, okay with this. This is how they’ve been for as long as
they can remember, apparently, so they have no attachment to their former life as a singular
being. They lived at Nightmare Enterprises, so it
was probably quite terrible, actually. Lala: "We may have two bodies!" Lolo: "But we got one heart!" It's actually a serious medical condition. God, this episode is weird. No one was aching for this backstory! It will never be relevant again! You choose to focus one entire episode of
the entire series on these two, and this is what you did with it. This didn’t involve pushing things at all. Lolo: "I'm not Fofa! I'm Fololo!" Lala: "And I'm Falala!" No, you're Lololo and Lalala. Aah, I feel like talked way too fast, but
I don't feel like recording this again... ♪ And it wasn't quite me and it wasn't quite
you ♪ ♪ I think it was someone entirely new ♪
