The Fighter and The Kid - Episode 325: Theo Von

what I'll get that title belt to for guests hear me oh yeah we uh give you a warranty the belt we should make your belt you know any freaking mooks I had to talk to him the [ __ ] web to [ __ ] get that [ __ ] alright ladies and gentlemen Brian the kid count is on set so I set sent out the bat signal we up to 2017 guest of the year feel Vaughn up in the house Gucci gang son Gucci carrying even text Gucci kick me out here dude it's good to be hey man this is the gayest little microphone it feels like it's all up in your grill Oh feels like a walk like I'm the weakest one arm blackhead is trying to give me a hug feels like you're like like whoa somebody feed this boy and then bring him back to the hug ring you know cuz he ain't ready for [ __ ] real too long this dude ain't ready hug him with one arm he's not ready you don't want to sit and Brian can't see it's full too close and they slowly start turning you can I can tell when I first came here they're a little more straighter and then over the years I just keep this brighter y'all [ __ ] just morph into one idiot the bright one be closed for whatever reason so yeah I feel like I'm in business class like the whole time but thanks for Emma and thanks for eating me up and thanks for um thanks for having me in yeah I guess the year man yeah deal that was exciting dude that was exciting and I am edged out Chris D'Elia barely yeah his fans are not happy probably not some hate where they you know it goes yeah they call him daddy oh they do yeah yeah that's gonna end in court it's been going on man show last night yeah I had a show last night oh yeah thanks for voters man thanks your listeners and uh and the people who voted that is nice of them so horse appreciate it you killed it one coming in here you did the work shoot last night Tommy still have to cancel man just under the weather and I leave for Portland tomorrow I just had to get better I had to get better eyes hoping I'd see you did lineup was insane man yeah y'all's lineup upstairs is really good notes it looked like you look like you're holding water in the face a little bit yeah a little bit are you a little I'm sure are you on creatine no no no maybe just Carvin creatine uh-uh you just have a stepdad he was in the war right and he made my sister get on creatine because he was real lazy dude he thought it was gonna help with like laziness so he was just lazy and [ __ ] on creatine he just get all bloated yeah but it didn't help anything she said honestly their message is pretty wild huh she got well she got she said she felt like her body turned into a water bed that's when she's fit because she was as I guess is holding water does hold water and she would sleep more than you know yeah that so we kind of did the opposite just that comfort yeah you've been on that creatine oh yeah when it first came out dude it was a big deal may not hide that [ __ ] in my ass kids were doing anything for it and when it first came out yeah creatine is a big deal I ran a grape flavor I'm not cheap yeah uh it's like 40 50 bucks to get Jack no water Jack they call honor Jack yeah that water smoke oh yeah you could cut somebody and [ __ ] and uh feed your plants you know you said last night at The Comedy Store ago he was okay I think they had some people from Netflix that were out so you know you yeah I think just come in and supposed to come out you know so I think I had a little bit of nerves up top you know speaker so did your agent manager or they like you know tonight at the Comedy Store Netflix come to see you perform yeah yeah when they were supposed to come right for the holidays and they couldn't sit and they came you know allegedly came last night but yes I was a little bit nervy up top you know and I wish I would have been but then once I settled in I was real comfortable once you hit the stage you're good right yes before no I think right when I hit the stage I'm a little nervous I think my nerves come from the fact that I feel like things are so like a lot of these a lot of executives and stuff are so like not liberal but just so like one way that you can't even like you can't even joke you don't know offend them yeah it's like I feel like no matter what they're gonna see it as offensive even if it's a lot of what I do is satire so it just spooks me a little however Dave Chappelle's special but help yeah you know like Netflix and let that fly you should be alright yeah that's true it's a good point but then I feel like some comedians are grandfathered into that where it's like if you're at a certain you know you're already at a certain status then you yeah then you can live yeah you can say whatever you want I think you're a good man I think they would need something like you you know I'm saying you would think do but I think they also want to just you know a lot of they just want to keep putting MOOCs on and just piss everybody in the rest of America off until people start fighting you know maybe so you were just like tents could cuz sometimes what happened to me like I did this thing for the Golden Globes oh yeah on the red carpet yeah I saw your shoes on yours yeah thanks Doug but I was a little nervous before that I'm like why am i nervous man this isn't it doesn't make sense whenever I would be I was nervous for you bruh I really was like dude this guy's gonna [ __ ] it up no I was no I've never worried about that it's just I don't know I I don't know if it's nerves or sometimes I think people get confused nerves and excitement right like I was excited to do the show yeah but then like I've been seeing that because I'm my big show and boss in the Wilbur theater this is like god I hope I don't [ __ ] it up well why would I [ __ ] it up right I've done this show how many times yeah I have new bits in it but I've done how many white and I've never messed up one why would you even plant that seed it makes zero see that's a good point yeah maybe I'm playing some of those scene myself you know I just wish that I could figure out why some things are going to and I do not have nerves and other things that go into and they do show up did you care about it yeah because you want Netflix yeah yeah maybe that's it you should be on there for sure maybe cuz I care about it you know let's choose what happens that's a good thing though I'm sure you did good yeah it's true yeah I did good but I just want to do perfect you know but yeah man that red carpet what they have you guys do it was like a panel so we had to we watched the the award show and then we were the after-show so we'd have like celebrities come it was just a pan of me in like three fashion and celebrity experts were you did you say a lot of stuff or yes kind of chill oh wow I was brave II did I was really scared sometimes before you talk I'm just I just have to remind myself like don't don't cuss it's oh you know this is whatever I'll cuss whatever oh yeah but then also they threw a wrench in there like oh do you know how to be prompt driving a red prompter in my life like yeah no doubt cool you take your lead on promptly okay let's do that and it's in wing-dings van Gogh did sometime they'll sneak a wild fauna attach it to that prompter do or it'll go real slow and you're like come on man so yeah that's where that's where it messed me up cuz went almost too slow oh yeah sometimes I might be right back from the red carpet here they going what you know so know that they get a prompter if like one of those mental-health facility to something where somebody they have a lot of mental people that are in there yeah that's when they read until oh yeah they'll get bootleg ones that are cheaper and how you save money is the people that are using them are mentally handicapped and so then you get this you gotta study they only on that one speed I'm taking the New Orleans st. shirt man yeah man they're into it do we got a job to do yeah I think the coaches on pills I think he's on percocets but why's that you know apparently you can coach an NFL team on them sets money they kind of run themselves as a head coach you're like your old coordinator Andy coordinator doing everything yeah kind of I can't even a met like I think Belichick is like a real coach you know uh yeah kind of and then after that I feel like it kind of follows all the strategist and then you have the often scorned in a defense coordinator call natural plays but then with the head coach once you get that level off so you know what you're doing once you get that level it's like y'all fourth and short should we go for it that's it's called yeah dude I would love to see us two dudes [ __ ] uh I saw two homeless not dudes one of them could have been a woman making out yesterday actually when I was on um what is that Robertson really yes two homeless dudes making out could have I think a woman was a woman but had kind of short hair it's tough to tell yeah I was going pretty fast you know he just kept on keeping on oh I can gender eyes a homeless person at about ten miles probably anything over that it's up in the air it's anybody's ballgame like food but yea they were making out dude so well yeah yeah I come by where I trained cuz there's this box there's like this alleyway and I saw two bums male bums jacking each other ah yeah a little morning wood oh yeah whole morning hand job doing I was growing up I don't know if I told the story here but they used to have you know they have this rest area you know where a lot of men would meet and drug-induced homosexuality would occur you know I'm not talking straight-up natural homosexuality I'm talking drug-induced meaning you're on drugs and then you're gay yeah you know you're only gay when you're on drugs yeah weird so because that's a lot of that's a baaad that's a side effect of a lot of drugs you know and they don't put that on the little bags ever that you might meet a buddy with a chat you know and uh and so this some they had these dudes that would shoot a lot of men would meet up on this rest of you do drugs and then coagulate you know do the thing yeah do all kinds of things and stuff and so sometimes we would sit across because I live across where I live to back up to this river where you could see across to the rest here and the rest areas but behind the interstate so there's a river between me and the interstate and then between the river and the interstate is the rest area where and so we'd get one time we go down there and there's these dudes man these two big guys that are shooting potatoes across this river with a potato gun they have binocular it's Louisville petunia anytime like two fellows would get a little too quick in suits you will they [ __ ] fire a Todd over at him there's a process real haters man the [ __ ] blockers I am welcoming [ __ ] block yeah we didn't know what they were doing we're like what are you guys doing and they're like we're firing these tots over at these boys over their own dope and so he's not looking Tots to stop this game so we start looking through the binoculars and look man I mean uh yeah anybody should be able to have sex with anybody they want 100% dude I'll [ __ ] your cousin bro but what I'm saying is I'll [ __ ] your cousin Blanco and blindfolded dude all in before the deal all right all right so whatever bro maybe he's gay I'm not but what I'm saying is that the the that it doesn't matter but these guys were intent on japanese fellows but if they just hugged or anything no tot but they started to quicken if one of them started going if they started it was really almost a vertical issue once they started getting a little too horizontal you can tailor time yeah can't even taught it up and they went on lunch break and and we got to take over me and my buddy firing these tossed it we can only shoot them like to the middle of the river though oh so then you saw but it was fun is it kind of like a Civil War Reenactment a little bit a little bit yeah it had that vibe you know kind of but anyway I'm just saying that yeah that kind of stuff that kind of stuff goes on man you know were we talking about you had some friends shooting tater tots a gay guys there were friends of mine do they were locals big difference man my buddies when I don't think they would do that well we did do it on lunch break but that's just you didn't hit him use you just it's just fun to fire me saw potato gun we were the halftime show Oh at college really yeah people used to he was just shoot him across like like one apartment complex had a bunch and another apartment complex and have a bunch and they would just shoot him in here to go to school Louisiana State over in University of Arizona actually as well but people just launched them you know this potato or they were like rocket launchers it's kind of dangerous yeah oh it's [ __ ] vegetable Isis out there there if you want show it's dangerous man dude I saw I do pull up one time just stop hitting me fire off to [ __ ] tots it's like you know get back into a car [ __ ] it Jeff don't even over they win dude they're [ __ ] hard ya hit by a date again no ever Wow it [ __ ] you up you seem like someone would get shot at I agree chin looks like looks like a bad guy from an 80s movie dawg you got a sound we're a minute now um you do use the leather jacket rolled up yeah first day I wear a leather jacket to I'm not gonna oh wow yeah how do you feel in it cuz I feel different in different types of coats I always feel the same yeah I wear sweats all the time I always feel the same when I dressed up in like a leather jacket you feel different do you seem different that thing yeah a little cocky though yeah does little cocky in it seem like Dan what the [ __ ] is that yeah you know I agree even though I know him yeah you called him a dream yeah yeah you call him the dream that [ __ ] yellow dream it's a Korean Korean dream hey yo hey scream flavor do Korean dream bro I agree the Koreans are full of dreams man yeah we saw this Asian guy could have been Korean he was fell off a building when he hit the bottom huh dreams came out of him bro but dreams doing guts and blood no I just mean you could just feel the [ __ ] fragments of ideas open imagination fly out of his body we're talking about being on podcast and he said we're talking about Rogge and I said you were on there for three hours so he said I never talked anyone for three hours yeah man will join I didn't know he we didn't know each other you know and I was the first that's the first time you've had a conversation with him I think so yeah so I did not brought some oranges over there and uh because somebody said he likes you know somebody said he liked fruits and vegetables so I brought some I had some what are those tangerines or tangelos out of sack at Angelo's at the house and yeah it's offering some tangelos yeah brought what I had you know yeah but we think about it when's the one's the last time you talked to someone for three hours oh I've never talked to somebody nice hole I see some girl on the phone you're not talking to people for on the phone for three hours not even in court not even in a relationship never that's why podcast is Sony kind of me yeah I see you at the Comedy Store we rap I mean two out of this thing you know you know hour and a half two hours oh we talked until Brian shows up in [ __ ] ruins a conversation dude but yeah that was the first time and I never talked to anybody for three hours in the whole life dude I told him that on the show anyway would you why would you talk I mean not even if I was married dude if I ever I think they should have like you know word limits on spouses you know like Oh like it weird a month almost like Twitter yeah yeah yeah like kinda four senses in a day nice Oh Judy's got about foursomes loud better use it why go ahead and make it count gonna be a quiet spring hey guys come over barb already used up holler words but that would be now you know I think in the future we'll have stuff like that man you think dude I was thinking yesterday about virtual reality right and I was thinking because to me one of the biggest problems in America is you have people that just live in different universes right like I would never like by a lot of people run from or gun owners you know and they want guns and they're like guns you know and here people are like no way you know no gun or a liberal yeah yeah so but I get it like yeah would you have a gun in [ __ ] Beverly Hills dude [ __ ] no bro it would weigh you down it would look weird in your pants right oh you're talking about concealing a weapon yeah at well yeah I mean at home it makes sense right to have a gun at home yeah it's a little different because you're protecting your home you'll be won't be Walker Texas Ranger with a gun in your pocket baby that's always weird - maybe what could happen people like carry guns yeah makes me nervous but but even just to have a gun or to see guns around in Beverly Hills be crazy crazy but then you go to like you know you go to New Orleans and not to have a gun not that crazy you know to have a gun in your truck I have a gun sitting there have a gun no I find the South right he had the South the Midwest us - yeah Texas love they really like to have gone you know like taking their guns dude they had a guy i remember like 15 years ago they'd try to install a [ __ ] rifle and it was he had lost an arm doing something you know you're making like a Robocop would just a yeah dude he lost it over you and something crazy I think somebody threw something he tried to catch it with something heavy he was already like on a raft or something and it just took his arm off damn you know like somebody threw some idiot threw him something real heavy and he grabbed it and caught it but then it just kept going ran his are yeah [ __ ] and then what he caught it he caught it that's the good point but um they're gonna turn that into a k4y trying to get a rifle God even like it apparently got in touch with the right for the you know Smith & Wesson on one of these companies and tried to get him to install a rifle and it was bunk that'd be sick super sick they dope super dope how did your last surgery still rocking it the dog that knows surgery last time I got the hair I know you got the hair the hair looks good it's coming in well here's the thing the the I got some mullet taken out of the back and put into the front right here on the rim yeah I'm not mad at that on this cuss but you've never had a issue it's not like you were losing your hair now I just want that front mullet all right that words nobody's got that he had a nose job no I didn't have a nose job dude I'll take one if you want to put money in like a GoFundMe for a nose yeah he's so crazy if I'd actually be too weird but I couldn't breathe that night when I would go to sleep at night my nose I couldn't breathe less and less you were one of those strips like an [ __ ] oh I'd wear three of them they don't want to work bro they worked for me daily oh well I'd [ __ ] feel like I was calming some justcome was just building up and they're just huddling up in the back of my head so you'd use those they'd open up your Airways yeah I can feel how good it feels right now with those things on cuz you got to do three though you got to have one on the regular and you got to have two at the slaw not build a bridge oh dude you got a you got to have a friend of Georgia Tech to help you out I've got a blueprint you got to go on playing yeah it's good do it right oh and some in the Deep Web there's different ways you can really get your breath breathing really just open yeah well you would you have a deviated septum no I just had some [ __ ] who knows man you know I don't know what happened there man said I could've got hit by something I remember somebody threw something at me once but it knocked me out on him and what it was Dan I remember what else happened dude fell into something that was made out of cement one time a great I had stone we're jumping on different headstones at the graveyard when I was young [ __ ] took one of the dome dude that might do it yeah it took a seventy-year-old right to the darling boy and um what else happened but I don't know but I felt like the devil was trying to choke me out at night because it would get less and worse nothing worse and so he said you did or didn't have surgery so I went in and they put you under I thought you're just gonna stop in now you can't just stop in to fix the nose and I'm like yeah you need nose too yeah and they went in they went in there you know when that man got in there and I was asleep you know which I think's a little [ __ ] up I'd rather be awake and see who is in there you don't want to be away from that said you know these people it's true you don't know get inside your body where you're asleep dude it's illegal its assault brother yeah yeah so when I was worried about was uh you know just what would happen and I went in there and he said it was a mess when they get in there and they like shaved down like parts that are way up in here in the top you don't see anything you couldn't notice it but he said there was a lot of scar tissue in here that they could cut and like and like and just stuff like that back in fact how long ago was that dude I blew a [ __ ] bat wing out of one of my nose as one morning dude it was a booger that honestly way after the surgery Oh a gold miner what turned it in for cash brother this thing was huge gelatinous yes it looked like an embryo for so after the surgeries and yeah dude I had no surging they have to put brackets in my nose really then that these stitches to keep the brackets in yeah cuz I shattered my nose all sorts of places from a fight from a fight I was the worst the worst so I'm on painkillers get an addiction addicting painkillers after the nose surgery but then they went in I had these back to my nose for weeks and weeks and weeks then I come here I take him out and I was so scared for them take them out and they they just snip the stitches and pull it in like this thing like this big comes out and it felt so glorious oh oh it felt nice yeah like a candle coming out like a big old candle how to make it spray out there's glory it's kind of wild of different ways you could really come if people really could master the use of different canals in their body agree you know like that was damn near close to the sex organs dude I took a big dump on ecstasy one time it almost came I see I've heard that before though and that's pretty wild you know it's a little scary did you make you feel a little homoerotic like you can feel the squirrels run a little no no but do you mean yeah it makes you feel you know like you like men might be trying to get to know you yeah I think but what else man we're talking with MJ she just got back from Europe and I would you went to Amsterdam I said you saw the girls there she got her phone taken because they're trying they're trying to film the girls oh really you just kid do not her no in the red-light district yeah my friend took my phone to take a photo of me like confirm of the girls and this girl came out and like almost like attack doesn't act like took my phone away yeah it's a known thing I thought like you're not supposed to take photos my friend like insisted on it is there signs saying no pics oh it could be in Dutch I don't read Dutch yeah I'm gonna be like yeah like a hooker beating a woman yeah yeah like your girl taking pictures are you sign or something my mother also you're a girl if you were a hooker do you think you'd what well maybe it's part of the culture like people love it I guess that's a way to look at it have you have you ever been Amsterdam yeah I feel like you get in some weird [ __ ] in the incident we were to a set shot took my girlfriend over there and we went and watched this sex show and it was the main stars were out I guess it was like a flu going around and said they had some real third stringers on the wheel I can water boy and his and his female cousin in there you know I mean this is something your country probably ate these people Kenya but here's what I'm saying is that it was like a lazy susan right and so you get in these little we get in a little room that are all around this lazy susan and your little room has a window that face what's a lazy susan a lazy susans like a thing that spins around the grandmother had like if you open her drawer okay you know you're in it yeah so there's windows all around this lazy susan yeah there's windows all around this lazy susan and you go in and you get your little booth and you can go stand in there and watch it through your window to see the lady's disease so you can see a few other people kind of vaguely who are in their window you can't see them doing like jacking off in them you can't see them but you can guess that they're probably jacking off okay and then you can see it a little bit in your head imagination yeah then what was going on on the show I was in there oh it's too [ __ ] I mean it was like the guy could barely even [ __ ] it was like he had just one like a [ __ ] drawing somewhere that he'd never thought he would win you know but he did all the entries and it was like it was [ __ ] somebody like he knew he wasn't supposed to be [ __ ] you know like the first couple times like you ever peer here yourself but you don't put it all the way through the first time you just kind of keep checking for where it's okay that cos is too bro it was like you just try to figure it out on the fly working the freelance working freelance man was the girl who's not hot Oh a girl was not hot brown and then here's the crazy thing denna didn't want to watch him [ __ ] no I wouldn't do you think you have to stay in your little cage until the daily finishes are the rules oh no you just have to stay in there until like its until like there's a certain amount of time I think it's three minutes and you get in there before your door open oh thank you so then you're like locked in and watching these people [ __ ] dude and it's almost it got harrowing man I was like I was like cheering at first for kind of for somebody and then I wasn't and then I was like it's like me you don't wanna watch the game anymore yeah you're over it again turn the [ __ ] off was your girl feeling it I think she was due but she and I had a tough go out there in Europe my eyes just like traveling around and we'd have a lot of money so we're doing it it was a while ago yeah this probably about nine years ago oh [ __ ] and we're you know we're traveling around you know backpacking and staying like Pam out at campgrounds and [ __ ] like that you know it's [ __ ] cheap dude you know and so we're staying out of campgrounds a shed like morning mist and like other tourists were saying we were saying like we're local poor people were we got the really crazy but she probably hated it I was Rocky man it was rock because are you all the time out there oh we almost got arrested at this grocery store day she was beating me with [ __ ] frozen items with semi-frozen little first precinct as deep as we do yeah yeah we waste a lot of electricity freeze and stuff real deep over here we freeze to deep I agree with that I've always thought that man you go in there some of that [ __ ] it's too much we don't need this song her keys you're like what the [ __ ] frozen I'm solid like what they did is dazed oh yeah but they do yeah want to read the backstory on this thing to see if he deserved this because they'll have those birds it's unbelievable yeah man so that you and that girl did when you got back did you break up with her yeah I remember oh I remember the last moment really of our relationship was she I was at the bottom of one of those um you know moving staircases escalators and she pushed the [ __ ] luggage we had where one of those smart carts yeah and I was yelling something from the bottom and she just pushed that [ __ ] right down the escalator spicy spicy yeah why girl yeah yeah pretty white man and they uh and that was it man when he got back though you find out a lot about someone on a long trip yeah and I met her I was the problem I may be I'm sure it's both maybe just didn't mix fried get to good people just didn't mix so she it's stressful no money you travel around Europe even watch this this mutant [ __ ] this other thing didn't help the cause wasn't a fine it was bad zine of the it was like went rounds in the Giants played a bomb it's a waste of time Jesus Christ it's not even raining and they're playing like it's in the rain oh but yeah man wild uh I had a wild holiday man had some pheasant or something if you read that no I don't need a lot of gave me food yeah rody and Brian talk all day about pheasant yeah would you go back home you know went back to Louisiana and it was you know I've never been anything up in the dark are it's like a PDF file or anything like that and I don't believe in that kind of [ __ ] if anybody's out there doing that shut it down but I don't what is it PDF files oh yeah dudes a party with children yes and but I'll say this do when you have if you're eating pheasant dude there's a party when you crack it into this little thing you're like this is this even what God wanted for us have you ever had have you've had him come on guy I'm surprised to know they no doubt dude to need sushi from the house yeah you don't know it's a baby bird yeah man it's something it just was killed early it seems like you know we're talking about that that's veal too right yeah it feels the same thing that just doesn't seem right to me yeah yeah they don't what let's don't let it move and then let's [ __ ] eat it God it's wrong and you're eating the hips and butt of it really yeah it's so [ __ ] okay that man is the regular beef not good enough for a man it's just too much when you cuz this little thing you have to like move its legs and I love it so and the legs like cut won't fall off in your hand like throwing it up and catch it kind of savages made pheasants people call this hippie yeah we have people in Mississippi man they'll eat anything out there dude they'll [ __ ] eat anything I had a friend of Mines aunt died out there a turtleneck she got at war a tight total night for like nine days in a row and it cut off her [ __ ] windpipe and killed her like this is the tightest turtleneck of all time wasn't that tight but she wasn't that strong she was getting older it was like overtime and she didn't change your shirt so a lot of that's on her you know yeah who's the blame here you know I'm saying well they tried to sue the company what was the who made that [ __ ] bum equipment with that nag boy that's a fragile instrument you know did Stussy make your [ __ ] turn I don't like to come back though they're back they're back as killers dude yeah the silent killer is no longer emphysema son it's that [ __ ] turtleneck dude you were for eight days and then it shut er down boy ah do me it was just her time to go you know if a turtleneck get you out of there it's probably go time yeah then God wants you you know bonus you got going on them just try and get on Netflix just doing your comedy thing yeah good yeah podcast this past weekend is going good we just got our highest listenership last week it's really good we got 23,000 episode 22 thousand listeners perhaps so on last week yeah I think it's our highest one it's you and who else just me so it's just me talking about like basic life suggestions for struggling males you know men that are out there in the dark arts jerking off crying in their truck and anything else you can think of it's it's tough these days for white males oh yeah boy they were just yeah so you're kind of a voice for them I don't know man I don't even know and even know what I'm talking about but you know I feel like I'm just trying to share what's going on you know I told you when I when I was I told you said the Comedy Store when I was in Buffalo I was talking to the manager he's like dude who should we bring in him like you guys need a you gotta get Theo in here man oh thanks man gotta get Theo down here all the clubs like who's the funniest one like you gotta get feelin this [ __ ] thanks man you'd kill it man yeah I appreciate you say I told ya I told y'all for used to be from the J pilos my new was quarterback up there that's right and we used to go up there and he was like the kids from Tulane yeah he went to Tulane and uh he's funny and actually went to school in Venice out here in Los Angeles dude he really yeah makes me like him anymore yeah we used to be but he's a nice guy I don't see him I wanna move to New York and got into real estate after the bills after the bills and right before the stock market crash so who knows he's really sound like could've been a tough decade for you ago would you go up to Buffalo and party with him you guys gonna like bring yeah went up there went up there we had a good time I think I've been up there two times and we had fun yeah it was just a neat experiences to see somebody you know like get to be a quarterback in the NF I just met him at Tulane and um it would just go hang out and stuff sometimes who's he wild what was he like he was athletic as all get-out no he was kind of like a little bit of us just a basic kind of guy you know not simple but just basic and you'd like to kind of learn he was kind of he liked to kind of learn I think the NFL might have been from my perspective might have been uh you know I don't know if he knew how much of a leader maybe supposed to be on a team you know yeah such as the quarterback yeah I'm for you to lead and maybe there was already a lot of egos on that team I think yeah and also it's [ __ ] Buffalo who even knows what's going on good I mean that place is a lot of neck tattoos Rochester well you get over to Rochester do you'll see ink on a woman's neck out there you know so bad there's a heavy looked a buffalo great food yeah yeah yeah it's fun I wouldn't go in the winter but outside that you should go and you go into their stadium I never their best fans I've ever seen I mean it'll be below zero they'll have a dead family member dude died of [ __ ] frozen they just tie them to the truck and go into the game they don't give a [ __ ] on they start tailgating at 7:00 a.m. yeah the people at my in my crowd were like oh we're off man we got you go I'm like why like Bills game tomorrow home game like alright cool like well we start at 7:00 and it's Blizzard they don't give a [ __ ] they different animal brow fall to him so what's that stadium called ruffled oh no stadium and they love it man they love and then when the bills got in the playoffs because Cincinnati Dalton when Dalton hello yeah I'll begin the priority Andy throughout 70 yeah dirty and the ginger the [ __ ] yeah the red ginger Dalton help them get in the playoffs so then the bills mafia donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to yeah yeah to help him keep playing yeah fun me or I think it's his organization or the [ __ ] it is yeah it's not crazy there was another season for handy dog that would be great if opposing teams got to pay the salaries for the opponents it's so [ __ ] up if they did cuz they're just because they pay like the worst player yeah yeah that idea that's a bad idea you know who I saw this may be thinking lows when the I was at a meeting yesterday and yeah you know caught the college football over at Baker Mayfield yeah the Heisman for Ohio say I'm sorry for Oklahoma yeah he just lost a Georgia a big fan of him cuz use a walk-on right was a walk at a Texas Tech and he's a walk-in at Oklahoma's first walk in after when the Heisman oh I don't know how small he is so I'm waiting for that for the elevator I'm talking to finishing this meeting and he's next to meet with these people I'm meeting with and he atop the elevator and they're like oh hey this is a Baker Baba and I'm like oh what's up man shakes in and I'm my god what I know that you ever do I'm like where I know that do ya I'm trying to family where'd the [ __ ] do I know him from my costumes driving me nuts oh I scare you hey where would I know that guy from he's like you serious only K he's like that's the Heisman winner man I'm like that's him he's tiny he's small probably the recognizes he's white he's now small dude though he's just yeah I couldn't believe how small it was but really yeah but apparently like hopefully you know and they do this they did Johnny Manziel hoping he can be like a frickin Drew Brees but good luck with that yeah yeah that's true I wish him the best I'm actually a big fan has like the passion he plays when I like that he was a walk-on but yeah it's gonna be it's a tough go when you're that size oh yeah man I remember when Drew Brees came to New Orleans they had I just been doing comedy maybe like two years and I was buddies with this guy Scott Fujita who was I don't Scott yeah nice guy and he came out as dud yeah I mean pretty handsome I did they gives that handsome stud football player oh my bad yeah but he um he brought drew out to the comedy show one night and drew just got into town literally was signed like two days before like had never even played and I got to meet him after the show and he seemed like a nice guy you know asked about comedy you know a little bit it was just he wasn't the star that he is now yeah you know because he came from the charge ei come from the Chargers but he like I was bigger than him you know I mean this is years ago thing right but I was like wow this guy is gonna be the quarterback so I think some people just have a real special gift I think he has an amazing work ethic breeze yeah and but also talented thing Tommy like his release everything his footwork he's so smart yeah I agree and we we got to perform for those I did some shows actually with uh four performer for Oklahoma and performing for Georgia before the Rose Bowl really yep where'd you do that at the improv one one team each different night Pam really did I was intimidating a Hollywood improv yeah where they died I mean they were dying but when they warrant it's like 19 to 22 year old boys who when they're [ __ ] when they're probably when they're you know having a black you don't know like if somebody one of them says something you'll know about cuz yeah I'm like a [ __ ] you feel like a senior citizen man that's what I was talking with Bryan about this is so where do you like you the people who are like uber famous on YouTube and Instagram and and they have this young following like yeah Selena Gomez the most followed on Instagram whatever has like 40 million followers flying followers but she's so young and this young crowd came up with it because all those kids aren't social media yeah so if you don't have like if you can't figure out a way to relate to that young crowd it's gonna be tough to compete with those big stars man right you know I'm saying so even with those college kids but your material will relate to them like you don't need to be yeah but some reference some [ __ ] they just own things cool you know well if you would talk politics you're gonna lose them yeah and if you talk for too long if your sentences are too long you lose them their attention spans like yeah yeah I mean they would be going back under the phones or disappea but it was crazy like the Georgia team was way wilder in the Oklahoma team was a little was a lot more organized when they said like we're in the place that's so it's what we walked in and like the Georgia teams on the stage like just rap battling each other you know cuz they they just got there before there was some microphone all brothers - yeah I mean these guys are going at Georgia besides the quarterback yeah it is it was like six white guys like a little bit scared kind of towards the front yeah and the quarterback I guess yeah the freshman quarterback trying to not [ __ ] it up for him but it was fun man it was fun to just kind of be around those guys but it was intimidating if there were moments rob wasn't where I lost my footing a little bit or even just a couple of words cuz you'd it's just all the losses yeah I'm gonna lose them right yeah and it's all like tough dude you don't even know how to do anything but just [ __ ] do you have a membrane where you just bombed you know when you're bombing you got to dig yourself out have you everyone ready don't get out yeah I got to what to my crazy members one time some dude laughed so hard at the show he came out of the closet to his buddies just writing for them I swear to god he's like like jarred some minutes in his stem you know and his buddies like what [ __ ] it's right about the front you made him laugh so hard he just admitted he's gay one of his buddies spit milk or spill it on that milk beer yeah you know oh yeah his buddies are like what the [ __ ] didn't it was awkward cuz it seemed kind of real yeah so me and I've had people say a lot of stuff II like that guy's [ __ ] but this guy seemed like he might have been on a semi sexual and then the other time that I really bombed was because I'm not trying to [ __ ] you know bringing anybody the other side of the sexual ledger you know but the other time that I really had a tough time I was at University of South Florida or Central Florida one of the other and people always like which one was and I'm like well who gives a [ __ ] which one was great no matter what obviously I'm not in a cool city in Florida but they brought me out and a bomb dude bombed right in the begin i'd been doing comic three years and i'm bombed and it was this thing like battled the bands for their school they booed me off the stage it was like 800 people booed me some got booed me with an american flag like i was an american you know and i'm sure you've probably dealt with some of this shitty time but it's like some guy like waving an American flag and booing you know did me so yeah I'm just going backstage which is still America you [ __ ] the Muppet Betty do you like away well first I thought he was supporting me this is the worst part so I saluted him right even though I was never in ROTC right and I hated those [ __ ] dudes I didn't hate him but it was like really a bunch of just like [ __ ] closeted gay dudes at our school that were running around after school with wooden guns yeah and you'd see him in the hallway like like [ __ ] taking cover didn't mind some lockers with wooden guns you're like what the [ __ ] just and one of them I got in trouble for sneaking a walkie-talkie you know you know because they're not supposed to have anything but wooden guns just watching the cheerleaders dance there does pervert but they had on like uniforms you know misfits yeah so I saluted - dude you know but this so then it may it didn't but he was like against me yeah then I was like [ __ ] cuz then I was like oh yeah we're buddies and he was [ __ ] against yeah who doesn't know so I had to go backstage what they didn't know was I was in seeing the evening so I had to come back out on a stage five more times between each act and introduce the next act every time you came home with your boo-boo every time until the fourth time it became so funny that they were doing it every time that then it like gave me a chance to like get back in there grace cool man like I'd been pushed so far they're like [ __ ] and uh and by the fourth time that became the gay a lot of comedians especially this day and age won't do colleges anymore yeah I won't do um piss cuz you go to like the thing and it would be this nuts are much if like I'm monopolizing the conversation not at all man please while you're here but yeah you go there and it's like some little dude or woman at somebody who's gender-neutral and they have you know a little bit of hair but it's like kind of a mustache kind of a like a woman's haircut yeah it's time and it's like they have a couple of diseases you haven't heard of and they're perfectly round they're not even any so it's like as long as you want to fin them right and they're gonna die soon which is gonna be tough yeah so yeah a lot of comics won't do college campuses anymore it's so freaking it's a rough culture out there man Oh Ben Shapiro is the only one you can go in and do it I feel like you know feel like D'Elia could do it yeah delete could younger audience any is enough of a fanbase if you have enough of a fanbase you can go do it but if you're going in there like we're just gonna bring a comedian you are sitting Doug bad idea those Black Panthers at a Shawn went to one time and then even had this was like 10 years going even have Black Panthers you know it's just like dudes who didn't have anything else to do what it was asleep at the [ __ ] snack table or whatever like I'm like [ __ ] that thing's been euthanized brother you know maybe you should join the Mexican Student Union to just leave your buddy there behind you know yeah I don't college campus is a tricky one man it's so stupid this one kid who's like dressed up like a Native American you know and he's like claiming all this [ __ ] it's just so so weird I feel like it's a weird time on college campuses for kids like trying to figure it out and try and find their way you can't [ __ ] anybody you don't know anymore yeah it's like when I was young I remember fucking's people don't even know who they are you know no I mean yeah talk about college yeah and I do like homeboy who's the comedian who got busted lost his Shawn County Central because a girl from college came out and said he did so TJ Miller yeah I love TJ they said he'd someone came out and was like a girl he was dating college on all the facts so I don't you know yes I think yeah she said he hid a bottle in her butt or something like that cutter tooth not a two-layer I don't think but something one of those mid-range ones you know she yeah not other one of this little coke when do you get not well like if you talk about xx oh yeah a 20 class against man that would get that's a nervous winter DUI how about I don't know if it's on your current events chin but James Franco got busted with sexual assault now yeah right after we won his award this girl tweeted out but then she since deleted the tweet yeah saw they do but she said that he pushed her head down towards his crotch correct which i think is i mean if she's not I mean if she pulled your it's not cool to do if it's like a violent way if you're just driving down the highway and she's like okay gonna ride you grabbed her head and it's like all right we can't yeah you can't do that and do that you know if you're driving fast you can put on the brave yes you pull over the Drule change a little but you can't force someone to give you oral sex no you just know that's frowned upon but then the thing was a seventeen-year-old that's the part that gets me the the gets me more because this girl it seemed like a lot of these a lot of ladies come out to say stuff that's a little vague ya know like I've been I'm not gonna lie I've been making out with a girl before and you know some one of us pulled my penis out I don't know who it was you know we're both in here it's tough to tell could have been either one of us I got just mouthing it up together who knows you order this hard and stick a case out but think of K so hot we're in this mousetrap man alright okay so we do mice one though is gonna hand John then what I was trying to help the other one eat it you don't have to say it like who's the bad guy don't know I don't know it's dark there's something you know we both tried to get some mission accomplished here yeah but but then the thing was she said that he hit on a 70 year old friend I'm not doing it well I guess he asked her friend to go to the the hotel with them my issue is that when he asked her that does he know for a fact she's 17 I've seen some 17 year-olds where it's tough man yeah yeah but if you look through at least two of their pictures that's like he can usually tell depends yeah that's true it depends you know I'm saying who knows but but then when he hit up that girl on I guess he hit up another girl on Instagram slitting her diem she was three 17-year old yeah yeah but I think he's like a notorious kind of saw think he suffers from like sexual addiction you know it doesn't [ __ ] all the time yeah which i think is you know and that and people have that it's a real thing it's a real thing I think so I mean I think it has something to do it then feeling probably some insecurities you know you'll think it's a cop-out no because I want to [ __ ] but I want to do it like twice a week you know not every day [ __ ] no dude I'm not [ __ ] some idiot every day don't see but here's the problem you're talking that's the same idiot what if you had seven different beautiful no friends the hot the most I would do is [ __ ] too hot too hot chicks or seven and up a week or eight not probably now eight no yeah cuz I'm older am I doing that seven [ __ ] anymore I'm an adult yeah makes sense yeah and I mean seven as in I'm a scale of one to ten I'm not talking somebody that's seven I already told you guys about that [ __ ] yeah you don't get down that like telling nobody should know that we frown upon that here at the find the kid Terry Crews came out and said he had a addiction of porn and said did he yeah so he's jacking off non-stop oh my god really oh that queso stick damn boy cheese hitting it up dude I can't imagine I hear that oh my god I don't know because if I were black got jerk-off out of time though if you had that sweet dick that sweet old the mic like yeah it's like he's some black dude the sinner that was in a fire I got a lumberjack accent he got one or Bernard Bernard Bernard is it a safe like name I think yeah then it's kind of cool burn burned if you like said yeah Burns is burning yeah it's good options yeah like we had a brother named incidents in our town the accident through story best brother name I've ever heard coincidence never seen the mom that name there her two kids Lavoie Sheila dryer it's real but one of my favorites was oh uh this lady in my town named her kid no Dante she goes because I knew he was gonna be bad I was just gonna call him Dante but I knew he was gonna be bad so I called him no Dante so when I say his name he already know you're not supposed to be doing it no great brilliant really no Danny I would name all my kids that know Susie back to take cruise in the sexual addiction is a sexual addiction or is it the reason to addictions because they have so many options cuz they're celebrities you know I'm saying well thank you I think it's easy to judge but I think when you have that many options I don't know if it's an addiction take a question I don't know what do you might be a lack of discipline I don't think is addiction you don't know maybe some small percentage of people have an addiction but I don't think it's for the mass for most people I think could be addiction because the release is like a certain like dopamine dopamine yeah so you crave that and so you you think of you know sex you see the body and you you constantly want that the dopamine so you might correlate it it's kind of like coffee even if you like or quitting coffee you still like the smell of it because it feel like you're like almost drinking it again like with any addiction oh I tried to quit coffee yeah yeah or even quitting cigarettes dude I'll [ __ ] you still smoke oh yeah still smoke sometimes no I'm not I'm doing good but I'm not doing great you know probably smoke two cigarettes a day I've been off coffee for have you really like some force to cuz I was thrown up I drink I drink so much coffee my body Kym acidic and I would keep throwing up damn boy that's the dark Archer you going that deep when your body turns that said it yeah next thing you know you end up being a [ __ ] one in one of those Marvel comic it was so bad though mad I just throw up non-stop like I haven't been right I know yeah man I worry about that kind of stuff I wish sexual addiction was for me you know a little bit but then with drugs and alcohol you can just buy it and do it sex addiction you gotta be driving around [ __ ] brilliant more semen in your body well there's there's tinder though right or there you could hire a professional just come to your crib yeah but the money oh that's true huh yeah horse mates yeah dick mate Pro Sunday brings his dick over well I already got my own dead friends what you're into wrong yeah not another's trying to please that dick you know like dick mate would you dude that had a beautiful butthole right but smallest dick he could barely even see transsexual yeah nice hair too dude so most transsexuals that get you nice hair and wings tattooed on his back ooh learned a stripper like whoever you want I'm a tough one probably past okay you I don't think I would man you know cuz I'm still trying to get to heaven what would you get into chin Shaun was a chump chin right yeah thank you thank you sorry about that what I get into I didn't think it was Chun what do you would get into it what are you in is sexual because you guys get into the dark arts you guys are into some wild stuff over there by the worst example cuz you're pretty passive pretty yeah I don't it'd be hard to get chin to go on a date over spaghetti little trans with a finesse I just not craving a date yeah if I trans and some chicken wings ain't his thing man really a flea no is so super vanilla every time about murdering hiding bodies and splitting some cheesecake man what's a wild night II like making a puzzle somewhere in a van like what I'm trying to get a vibe though you know good luck cuz he's been trying to we have no idea what he does now yeah just leather jacket on [ __ ] Dexter I don't know what the [ __ ] happening yeah you're like a UH you're like a [ __ ] math bouncer you need to go around with those [ __ ] Roman numeral I'm joking man that's pretty serious huh no we have no idea what chin does on the weekends yeah June what would be a perfect date for you we got this our show spots by eHarmony for God's sake dude that would be great to have your listeners to describe like in 30 seconds what they think chins weekend is like it'd be so [ __ ] funny hilarious really vague man you're kind of like that Mona Lisa oh when you we like that we'll ask him to show Big Jim with you this weekend I'm like stop all right cool man would you do some friends all right what'd you guys do went to cheesecake all right well it's like that's wild man did though I'm trying to think oh I grew up with this boy who had this boy uh we had this deaf kid in our town I'll tell you this because I lived in there pretty much in the Deaf Belt did growing up the Deaf note they had a lot of death by us because they had a couple of hearing impaired schools by us and and so you get a lot of extra deaf in the area you know and it's why when you have a lot of deaf people around cuz you don't know if somebody's [ __ ] up or if they're deaf mm-hmm you know so you're driving by or if they're being rude you know so you have to be careful I remember one time this they had a deaf kid that moved in right two doors down from us handsome kid to think he could have been Italian could have been kind of Creole yeah but some kids beat him up they thought he's doing bad magic you know cause he's doing all this stuff with his hands but yeah cuz he wasn't having me out yeah he was doing all of this you know you gotta be careful that bad magic [ __ ] yeah cuz he kept doing all those hand signals you know but no quarters no doves they thought he was doing bad magic and they [ __ ] beat his ass so that's the kind of stuff that I don't like in the world man when people are you know just not trying to be a little more patient with each other know the world's [ __ ] up right now man we in it's like we're calling people out for [ __ ] that everybody else is doing you know it's like Hollywood for you know all throughout the the elections and everything and I'm not a big fan of politic of politics you know we had dead animals in our ditch for like seven years we complained about to the city and they never came in yeah plain awesomes and stuff oh no big like an awesome no this is bigger like what I don't know her medulla something big man a couple times it was something big dude and it shouldn't been out there and somebody was throwing him out there for seven years they'd like literally at one point we just had a big stack of bones that in one end of our dead damn it could have been somebody who's working in the vets or somebody working with the hospital throwing stuff out man did do you even wait right it isn't and we would call the city and tell them to come get it they never came and get it so then you got kids out there throwing [ __ ] bones at each other and just stuff that's kind of [ __ ] up and uh and so I never liked politicians you know because I never liked that because you if you were paid yeah yeah if you were poor you didn't get anything never didn't give a [ __ ] dude no there's dead antlers kids there's [ __ ] two kids playing hide-and-go-seek and a [ __ ] carcass out here you know and y'all don't give a [ __ ] no so but it's just crazy to me like Hollywood will be like you know all these politicians are creeps and pedophiles and then it turns out Hollywood's all creeps and pedophiles so it's like you know this shit's going on like if we can just all try to get a little bit more realistic and honest about what we're doing and accept people have flaws yeah what the [ __ ] do you know what you think people are perfect now you know who's perfect who is it Oprah mmm I don't know dude we're stabbing at the next door shutting the [ __ ] up was he there oh yeah he's there he's stem and a lot of men don't like that that docile man kept in the distance afraid to say stuff probably knows his role ya knows his word limit was up years ago this hundred forty four characters ran out a while ago do you think politician it's all just gonna be Hollywood is gonna be politics now it's just gonna because Hollywood to me is more powerful than politic then then then they can persuade though yeah yeah for sure well I think Hollywood's just a small sample size but what what's going on around the nation you know I'm saying yeah like with the sexual assault that happens in whether you work at Kinkos where you work at Starbucks oh yeah yeah it's not just not Hollywood and then Seth Meyers yeah it's fun in some places a little bit a little bit of sexual assault depends if it's not nobody's getting hurt and it's just kind of fancy yeah all right it's not crazy if it's not really assault maybe sexual need like a different work yeah maybe man yeah but Seth Meyers had a good point like we see it where these high-end directors are doing it or these big heads of executives of networks are doing it but yeah remember on set there's makeup artists there's freaking you know the grip guys the cameramen the the boom mic guy like there's a whole staff they all deal with it too like it's not just these big time people it's an ecosystem and those people you've seen that's just a sample small sample yeah they crucified for it rightfully so but I mean some but how do you even like anybody any more than out here you have to drive to Riverside to [ __ ] I won't even jerk-off locally that's worth getting for me I'm going to the valley to bust nut oh dude yeah I'm not jerking off in this [ __ ] in this count I don't you the rest of you the [ __ ] how come a little lands on somebody I don't know screwed I think it's it's a phase that things do need to change what's a phase right now the target here's are on you know white males but it's a face yeah white males get pigeon over too much they like to me anyway you know it's like like we did everything you know like we'd like what I didn't do anything bad I don't think you know I think if there's been in the minority well the Russell Simmons yeah Simmons my guy who's a head of like corporation they got busted they say he was just busting nuts on everybody yeah oh yeah right start a downward dog and then just put his dick in there really Wow let's do it aggressive [ __ ] my thing is I'm trying to stay out that internet I'm trying to snap that pornography you are you oh man why cuz it's influencing you love live Island it can be if you're googling the wrong [ __ ] yeah I'm just sort of googling them you know what bothers me is when I when I when I go to porn this is videos you might like I'm like I would not like that why do some weed dudes in this thing what why does that chick have a dick I did not ask for this yeah like what algorithm does youporn have it's like you might this and it's some old granny get [ __ ] like in what world I like this man how's that happen it'll [ __ ] up your boner deal oh yeah my boners [ __ ] from the inner [ __ ] the whole vibe up I'm gonna peel the outside myself you know downtime yourself in the dark videos you might like I could use something new boom granny I did not ask for this or its chick with a dick definitely didn't ask for that I like the old Greek ones they have like there's old kind of Olympic style ones where somebody throws a jab love it as a dick on the front and like some lady will catch it in her [ __ ] if I'm like oh I've seen those 60 yards I've not seen that one yeah it's very [ __ ] Dez Bryant of her you know it's pretty crazy I think your watch wouldn't feel bad for him I did I'll tell you exactly this just happened to me man so I battle against trying to jerk off cuz I'm tired of it you know I'm saying getting old it's getting old in that it gets old it's all and it always going to the gym but every goddamn day you're told yeah yeah I used to go to the gym I quit this year dude and it's one of the neatest things I've ever done in my life feel good about it I should be an addict dude hide and [ __ ] just putting a little bit of [ __ ] protein powder up my ass it does on the suppositories I was on all day trying it today oh I'd sprinkle protein in a [ __ ] bandanna tied around for heaven all sweaty that's that rock you're gonna get it in the [ __ ] straight to the brain oh damn son hope you brought it I stuffed my [ __ ] nose with amino acids and go to sleep you know I'm saying dude weird man so what happened with your pointer or you don't want to jack off anymore yeah I don't want to John I want to do it because here's what I started to notice for myself was it got to the point where when I can't when I would get off I didn't even feel joy of this of watch of thus I didn't feel a sexual joy I felt like I just filled like I was just doing something that was a habit yeah that make any sense almost like brushing your teeth yes it was like oh I just I'm just doing it gets bored I'm just doing it because oh I just did that habit I'll do the same thing with Doritos like why am i eating these I'm just doing I'm saying or no I'll boy yeah I'll eat a bag of Doritos but either way when I get we both get done like why I'm just bored I don't need to bust nuts right now I don't this nacho cheese tortilla in my mouth you know I'm staying through this or somebody makes a poster of us and I have like semen dripping off my hands and your G us yeah but sometimes else eat and drink is on board and then I'll watch that's my hunt my 600-pound life you guys have seen that [ __ ] mm you don't watch a lot of TV be have you seen my stick around life no I haven't seen you guys seen it it's pretty self-explanatory but people are over 600 pounds and it's their life and they gotta get their [ __ ] together and some people on there like 900 pounds eight huh they're [ __ ] huge that's crazy but then they'll show their order and you would think I see them they're gonna die any second yeah I get hungry from it really yeah I want what they're having damn yeah they get pizzas then they dip it in the icing they get Cheetos they down code Wow and I watch I'm like I'm hungry as a [ __ ] right now it's eight o'clock I had dinner Wow but I'm gonna eat and are you able to fight off their merges and late-night urges and desires if I have something coming up yeah like I'm busy now like you have to be on TV after new comedy I'll beat it but I don't have [ __ ] going on I'll post mates that [ __ ] damn you do a lot of post mates huh yeah Wow yeah and I feel like they judge me like the other day you got three tubs of ice cream and I was sick there my house and he goes here's your three gallons of ice cream man yeah I was like you know what [ __ ] you bro [ __ ] you how about just give me the bag who cares when I was uh when I was growing up they had this dude you could go watch him not really jerk off but you could watch him kind of feel himself in this video store and he was a older gentleman he was older to us we were children everybody was but he was um they had like these wild Western doors at this place called Pat's video and they sold shrimp too right so the place is trying to have videos yeah a dream oh I agree you get [ __ ] bloodsport it's exactly we got it right you would only a couple movies out then it was all Jean Claude Van Damme do they have sideboard um I don't know what they had side oh wait I don't know what that was all right that's a little bit before Double Impact yep they're a Double Impact got an American Ninja Warrior I mean they only had like six movies then outside of that - shrimp but then in the back they had these two wild Western doors and 21 and up oh yeah and we'd sneak over there sometimes and they always have this dude in there mr. earnest who lived in our town right and he later on we learned that he was a mentally handicapped but he was yeah I mean I don't think he wasn't my dick handicapped he was just mentally yeah but one to bust nuts and work at the video store yeah he wasn't working there though he was are you just hung out back there he was working for himself oh this got weird yeah oh so you just hang out in that 21 and up video yeah he was legally he could be in there so to him it was like I was young I can be in it was just Starbucks yes it stopped but he had a bike a bicycle that had a baby seat on the back you know cuz um somebody giving him a woman's bicycle and back in the day now you pull your kid in this little carriage and all this [ __ ] he's in a [ __ ] safety cage with these roll bars hell yeah when I was young he was buckled in with one [ __ ] buckle maybe an elastic see but you know [ __ ] sides yeah no helmet this before helmets dude or if you got hit by something your dad was in a [ __ ] wheelchair forever well no back in this [ __ ] when [ __ ] was legitimate you know dude course he has dads with a [ __ ] bike helmet on I would much rather have a dad that's mentally handicapped from an accident locally then dad who [ __ ] and then ever see my father in a [ __ ] bike helmet like he'll tell your dad that come get it dad oh there's nothing my dad put pegs on on his bike give me my bro it's there that's way dangerous it pegs on Helios dangerous dude this girl Chrissy hunt my neighborhood lost her second toe to those [ __ ] uh standing on that barefoot that was her issue and in that second toe and I'm gonna how you get the second to do something the other ones aren't doing but it was longer yeah oh that's what it is the same totally it's kinda like your middle finger it's always longer than the other one yeah so that second toad looking the Raptor claw I can see how she got cutting that spoke there is that what happened it is and it ripped it off rift it off dude it was out and about it pulled it enough anywhere I guess they couldn't fix it you know this is just that well that's a bad one to lose you all lose anyone lose your pinkie yeah yeah I guess so you can lose on your toe it's not that big of deal helps with balance I one time was playing kickball I I was snowboarding I think I was in ninth grade ninth or 10th grade now snowboarding my friend dare me to jump off the left like snowboard like we were [ __ ] XXX I was like yea while I was up in the air oh wow there's no doubt I'll I'll hit that ramp and then [ __ ] zoom off he's like do it well yeah Vin Diesel Stan well it doesn't work like that in real life I go off and I just play it into the goddamn ice and then did just like board up face-first broke my collarbone so now I'm going down the lift in a [ __ ] thing like this hold me down and then I get to school that later that week I'm in a sling cover playing kickball with mr. with mr. bubbles bubbles mr. bubbles great guy always in sweats always had a fat dick on any lights oh yeah so we're putting the rest of the room playing kickball and I can't throw it's my it's my it's my right hand so I left hand I kind of sucked oh I'm just back there dodging like a [ __ ] so it's everyone's outset for me and there's balls there and then there's like three kids left and the balls keep coming me now all the balls are my side band throw away I can't throw so then the gym teacher go like the French do okay just kick it Brendon I'm like that's a brilliant [ __ ] idea I go to kick it and I'm like I'm gonna kick the [ __ ] out this ball and my big toe we're barefoot cuz in the restroom my big I kick as hard as I [ __ ] camel he's kicking the game-winning field goal and my big toe hits the mat first like this and goes oh bro blew up on the ground some kids still hit me with the ball [ __ ] you Travis that was his name Travis it's always Travis anyways broke my big toe go the there's not much they can do for it Wow you just got where's some [ __ ] Tevas put a splint on it and there's nothing in do they put brackets around it that's a bummer yeah more of the story if you're gonna lose one you want the pinkie toe that I ain't doing out that's how you get started on it cuz you could still MA you could still meander pretty well on it I wasn't great I was out for a little bit shoulder foot bad luck you know I don't think anything ever wild happened to me man uh you ready bad a dude in our neighborhood they didn't have any arms and always tried to [ __ ] with fight people by head-butting huh you'd head but he kicked hold up let me guess you'd kick like an ostrich mmm oh he could [ __ ] kick crazy dude fingers yeah he had up and then this other kid in our town a deaf kid this [ __ ] deaf kid with a [ __ ] overbite bruh and that dude would just he'd [ __ ] suck the blood I did neck if he got close enough to yeah yeah beautiful though but this dude Clint was his name like Clint but with an in in it as did at no arms dude and he but he could [ __ ] literally get you on the ground and choke you out with his [ __ ] shoulder he was just applying that pressure crazy bro I mean he would just be on two legs but that shoulder pointed right at your [ __ ] esophagus did you do you ever have any kids with was violent or mentally handing out of driver's license that was a crazy party remember that we drive with his eyes I don't know what the [ __ ] he was doing but he had a legal driver's license how the [ __ ] did that happen no arms one driver's license killing it not fair probably we can rubra no I doubt it division tips he's probably in prison dude I remember he uh he did some bad stuff yeah you remember this is about okay I was gonna say you ever had any and I'm not making fun at all anything like this we had a kid in Down syndrome in my neighborhood yeah dude and when I was like 12 he was like 12 he was so strong yeah he was so so strong and anytime even in middle school I'm in school I felt like they were stronger than the normal kids I don't know if that's a generalization but oh yeah they were really really strong yeah I feel like they mature obviously mentally they're not as much ever I feel like physically the people with Down syndrome and I'm I'm just off but they were stronger than the rest no because they get all their who catch that ball and had dad strength yeah I'm saying oh definitely dude they could coach the team dude if they could get the words out you know at the age of six you know because they get all their genetics at once so they get the whole onslaught of genetics at once and their body's just trying to hold in all this madness yeah I know I felt like you they're like Wolverine and we're just peasants yeah we had a boy on this can I grew up when the maximum we could drink at the Ramada in our town and he the Ramada Inn and uh this was in Louisiana and Covington Louisiana and I've even talked about this so much oh this boy dairy was his name dairy yeah it's me and he uh he used to put people in that hard scarf he called it the [ __ ] hard scarf dude he had this [ __ ] head lock bro and you had to have somebody help you get out of it you almost had to get two black kids help help you is that good Oh bro when he put you in that [ __ ] headlock that hard scarf boy yes it was a hooker yeah even kill you if he if you didn't get a couple of brothers come over and help you out of it he'd [ __ ] kill you you ever had a man choke you out with his tits uh-uh but I had that boy clinch choke me out a couple times with this [ __ ] shoulder and I guess I don't that's a rib or whatever there's a high rib had a grown man named Ron Waterman choked me out with his titties man bring a picture of Ron Waterman for me check out the titty Ron Waterman on the his name you know a fight name was mr. h2o autumn is that thing was Waterman well mr. h2o oh wow check out the tits handsome too he took his tits almost broke my nose and he's almost secular now no not at all yeah and I didn't say that Ron he's a tough fight he's [ __ ] rough fighting well there's a couple pictures where he's wearing jeans and a mustache and then yeah I agree that's a little Shady well those are gateway signs I'm a sexuality where I'm from now I'll give you that me too yeah we know you fought him know he's won he's mine what was especially my first start is one of my main training partners and I was young man and we started on the ground and he took my and you know it's not even jiu-jitsu it's just a [ __ ] homosexual move yeah he took my head and had those big packs those tan pecs they're all greased up and sweaty and just went Iggy oh my [ __ ] nose yes are they like go out and I tapped I was so embarrassed cuz my friends were all laughing there is oh definitely he was a monster ones strongest guys I've ever felt oh he looked like he never stopped breastfeed nah you know he I did he [ __ ] him with my nose it was so embarrassing I thought maybe that's important for me after that you know dude I would just be so afraid if I could never fight like you guys did man I'll just be so afraid I would just honestly defecate on myself or that I would just immediately break my neck I got a really lean esophagus to and I would get choked out easy I'm just scared of it dude I wonder what Ron's doing do you get more scared if you're fighting a black hour or white guy do you feel like no I don't care I don't discriminate I know it's not not discrimination but just is there any different so it's not a choice you're making but it's like a different fear that comes up no I think as I grew up competing against but like my neighbors the omnibox that's what I'm used to yeah it makes sense you know if you're fighting a Russian or Croatian you have your hands full you're not gonna quit Russians are there certain guys you can fight white and black you know not Russians aren't white but you know I'm saying like an American white guy yeah the American black every fighting them maybe you might see a little quitting and when the going gets rough you fighting a Russian though or like an African mm-hmm yeah they don't quit you better bring your your lunch box yeah Russian yeah I mean I can't even those kids are [ __ ] over there playing with stone dolls dude my buddy told me that they had a doll oh yeah children playing with stone dolls the girls a doll made out a [ __ ] quikrete or something like those kids are there's no water there's it's [ __ ] crazy man absolutely greatest fighter should we go some current events Jen sure he's 52 all right yeah what Ron Waterman Wow well let me fight I know he retired a while ago does say there yeah I'd love I'm water that I'm gonna dot me Mark Smith 2008 Rico Rodriguez lost to Dave Herman lost to hogr Gracie dam fought you lost a Mirko Cro Cop cro cop soccer kicked them at the face or those fights right there yeah they just had oh no those are old he beat Kevin Randleman how's my boy what about um who's that guy [ __ ] uh ready when you are breath trying to think of his name there John Joyner is that a fighter John Jones John Jones you know I it sounds like you might we might be seeing him sooner than we thought that's what I'm talking so saying he you might have accidentally took the stuff he did so he might just get a year suspension how do you accidentally take note snorting cocaine and some [ __ ] was laced in there okay what ok no drugs yeah yeah I think the cocaine was laced with some sort of [ __ ] some uppers trauma bones and [ __ ] Deckard Dianabol did I were one time we snuck back some [ __ ] lynch jars something cuz they only have three steroids you know what like deca went strong with the other test [ __ ] test you test 5000 do one of my buddies his skull grew and that was it joking people in our town named gene you look like gene look like Bobby big wheels dude he came back to school the next year he Reeves he had [ __ ] pie for extra pounds of skull and sternum on him and I was it and that's it nothing else grew but we stole a bunch from Cancun one time enough shampoo bottle brought it back still dispersed it and everybody used to do to win strong Oh bro you'd be doing [ __ ] you'd be doin chest press and [ __ ] two bubbles or just pop out of your [ __ ] chest oh it was fun man my buddy and I used to do it man it was I just wanted to be jacked yeah this one I was so skinny man I just felt so you want to feel powerful I wanted to feel some type of power in did it work yeah made me feel good I'm er walking to class one time is there any like throwback Thursday pics of your anything I like a probably fine time man fine please send it to me yeah I will I'll find something I'll put something up good and reject oh dude I was [ __ ] yeah bro and I had the [ __ ] best body odor to kind of [ __ ] that would bring [ __ ] over you know really yeah nothing to hardy but almost kind of like a [ __ ] just like a homey kind of soup brewing oh I won't like I'd like a Brad Pitt from Fight Club vibe I felt like it was a little more French coming out of me oh I feel like something a little more like a little more ethnic kind of like the potpourri but you would see at a black person's house gonna surprise you yeah it's got some maybe some rose petals in there but it's also might have some some stake homes you know a couple of [ __ ] cuts of steak comes in there and I hate steak comes to as well even though they sent me a t-shirt would you so were you like tan and swole yeah man I wasn't too tan I wasn't like you know you see those guys on the New Jersey tan I was just what was i you shot you had like a nice base yeah it's pretty but I that's I was in Louisiana could go lay out you know you'd lay out on the car you park your car inside an interstate and lay out we do you have abs here I shred it up no wasn't that shredded dude I never really shred it well you know my body hides a lot of [ __ ] um just extras in it and so I'd be just kind of thick and awkward I think you want a neck a lot of neck code and it was very clear you're on steroids I'm sure oh no I was so skinny when I was a kid I don't even know if it was some people could have thought I hit a growth spurt you know really yeah but then I don't know your some of your friends never tell you because if I say you don't know either with that that's a good point and this was you know 15 years ago 20 years ago but if I see dudes now that have all those little pimples I'm like oh this dude a hundred percent as a 30 year old you shouldn't have pimples all over your back in the chest yeah and it was addictive man like look on a rock I don't really regret it but I regret that I didn't probably stop it a little bit sooner because that was the problem I got addicted to just feeling good about it was I felt good about myself yeah you know high self-esteem well yeah so when you got off how did you deal with it well now you don't work out at all yeah now I do yoga now so this yard is done yoga but next year maybe or this year in a couple of months mix again yeah little winstrol little yoga ooh boy I said I'm talking about two worlds Oh bro that'd be [ __ ] great you know MJ teaches yoga yeah she told me to come to a class on Valencia BC Texas yeah yeah what come on stretch in Valencia man austra I'll stretch anywhere along the 4 or 5 or the 5 you had some current events chips sure do the first one's own life though does he see the Dexter man dude that's the yellow vault first one is a skit on Jimmy Kimmel about Oprah but I don't want to give it away so I'll just play it for you guys real quick hands be able to see this yeah let's see some of it in Los Angeles last night for the 75th annual Golden Globes and on hand to receive this hustle B deMille Award was none other than Oprah Winfrey who delivered up I gotta watch her speech go watch it it's too long oh this is nice yeah but asking Oprah will run for president the E Network last night was fortunate enough to have celebrity stylist Jason Bolden with the shot to put Oprah's remarks into historical context [Music] [Applause] tonight wow that was almost like Oprah's I have a dream speech I mean I give how powerful Oh the King bites all day my socks dude thanks brother little jimmy kimmel parents not mad at that Wow bro that's awesome huh they're making fun of that guys for it to make fun of Jason for saying you know compared to Martin Luther King the dream speech yeah I mean I yeah maybe so but who knows how many people it inspires I don't even know what fired on anymore no me neither Oprah's super powerful though yeah Saturday now I said it again yeah I just scary out there man but yeah if she inspires women man and that's good you know at least he didn't roast me or nothing that's true huh were you nervous a little bit yet have you nervous sitting there huh cuz you've never done that before I never know how I was it uh before I was due the this breathing that I did in fighting to help me just wake up and calm my nerves I it was doing the breathing I eat everyone's looking like what the [ __ ] is he doing I just I like to just be stag night to get up do my breast I do it before every comedy show yeah and then I hit the stage so I was doing the same thing I think they're like addy super nervous like now I'm showing you the right frame of mind before I do this [ __ ] Wow and then it was all good man it was all good it's just a conversation I never get too nervous about this stuff like I didn't get nervous about when I was doing the Mayweather and McGregor stuff yeah she's bigger than the different different bigger but I didn't get nervous for that stuff just because it's conversation right yeah and you just stay in the conversation you don't try to get too out here what's going on no yeah yeah that's where the reps from podcasting helps yes no one like listen when you know go back and forth you're not really gonna allow dead air yeah that probably had you know the they might do more TV spots like this than me but I've had my 10,000 hours podcasting right talking to some pretty smart intellectual peeps like yourself you know yeah dude I was uh 3.2 baby okay Oh as if 3.20 grade point average GPA in high school yeah great I didn't give you in anywhere these days kids have to have 4.0 extracurricular activities invent apps [ __ ] just again to any college around here it's so competitive yeah if you're white you know mm-hmm if you're white wall but you better dye your skin you know what I'm saying but you better claim that 2% Native American do find it you know I'm saying dig up somebody in your backyard and bring their bone 21 in me and lie about it African and you something do find a Kemosabe to jerk off into that ancestry.com kid Harbor sense in that [ __ ] boy my son he's [ __ ] without you I am the Mexican oh you Mexican huh there's miles back tunes [ __ ] dude get some pictures him outside dude he's a nice space already you get them outside use that red skin we're going any Stanford here we come will you get to pictures him outside with nothing back behind it makes people think I call where's this kid from yep and then you write that in with the application with the essay yeah talk about hard work in the fields yeah well they know he's Rich's [ __ ] grew up in [ __ ] the Palisades yeah boy wow it sounds like a nice kid you don't to be adopted it I'll come of it I'll adopt you what do you got what else got you um I won't be at the Brea improv this weekend oh my bad go ahead you know we're still gonna improv I love playing one of my favorite spots me I'm excited about there all weekend yeah Thursday through Sunday and then I'm in Jacksonville next weekend you Jackson haven't been out that I'm doing Florida end of March yeah it was good though I love Florida dude you know a lot of missing people over there and I love the missing and um but they have but Jacksonville is pretty wild it's a lot of driving around and getting nowhere no matter where you are yeah I spent some time in Jacksonville my boys from there and I would do his charity all the time up there and Jackson was kind of like it's the slower region of Florida oh yeah a lot of bodies in Jacksonville they haven't found I know that yeah that's true and I said look for bodies and always young along interstate there's a little bit of the older folk there but not as old if you go down like a Boca Raton area yeah where there's anti-aging clinics literally like Starbucks here everywhere yeah you can get a [ __ ] you can get a latte in a damn reconfiguration right there at the counter are you a latte nose dropping all day they'll give you square eyes down there a lot of what you call [ __ ] for money down there if you got hard dick and some [ __ ] time to kill you can go down there and get into hunting wheels down there you can get into some wheels because a lot of ladies with money looking to catch that last [ __ ] seven inches for they go to heaven or hell and you can get down there and find some women with money that will leave you money in there will ya because then they have extra cash flow because it's the Florida taxes yeah they don't you don't have any state tap it's a great point so they're looking to spend that cash on young men yeah that's a good point you like it easy entry I'm a little old for that really yeah how do you think Janice do it have told you this before then we talked about this but I would go probably 28 to 48 you want that's a fair range he's 40 is it really yeah I could see that matter cuz he'd be in 40 or even 45 thanks I'm here a little bit but you're here Jim no I used to oh really what color black just to make your hair as black as your coat son I'm sure I dyed it like maybe like a five six months ago yeah Abby's grown if you have craze if not upgrade yeah I've some great so you have Gray's yes my chin it's freaky nothing wrong little salt and pepper now you go full Jay Leno although that's kind of in you look like the [ __ ] Dragon Queen though I just look it's all sparse and out of nowhere so it's weird do you this give me a crazy question I'm not trying to be offensive but it's good out do you feel agent or not are you like a regular person that's a fair question but you don't say I see what you're saying that like do you feel like a minority and the like we definitely feel if I'm around like like just us here I definitely do feel like I'm Asian wow so that's actually a good question you mean just oh what do you mean in studio you'll feel more Asian around me and Brian then you like a much cuz I'm all my friends are pretty much Asian so when I'm around like just all white people is the conversation different way around just them I think just cuz they're my friends it's different but is it different could you guys talk about more stuff that the Asian culture be into I would say this we are definitely different there's different things like little things that we do differently like what I don't want to bring about why not because I mean I feel a little bit better after hearing you say that I feel a little like yeah and I feel like like we're gonna catch a wall no just brings for my attention that maybe sometimes you know that you know that my point of view could be kind of narrow sometimes but no the joking stuff I love I think most people enjoy that it's just humor but I'm saying like just different things that we do like maybe the way we eat or the way we use the bathroom and stuff like that if those things might be a little bit different oh yeah like do you guys slurp your noodles and share right that's yeah that's one thing like that we were next to a family over in Central City Mall and they have a ramen place there and Emma I don't kind of I don't know if it's Japanese Korean restaurant but you we gotta go there Qin you should see this place it looks ridiculous sweet and oh it's just packed with people from Asia so that's how you know it's good like there's no white person in there anyways so we're eating over there and I'm having myself a nice Mediterranean meal and the family next to us is they look Japanese I have these noodles and they're slurping on ya and teaching their son to slurp them it's the way to eat the noodles its way through Dover here you know there's different things that are rude that uh that you guys might do that we look at as rude I can't really think of it right into the way we talk to women as we do we see more room that kind of stuff maybe just like when you come in here and then if someone comes in here and they don't like offer a seat or something like that like something I could just see someone bypassing without thinking twice like hold a good door for a lady that's here holding doors well you know you're just talking I see that's that culture thing just around digs yeah that could be true [ __ ] I wish I could hold doors for girls I still open my car door for my girl you know I still do that [ __ ] do you do you feel like that because I bet we probably seem real more like ego-driven yes that's actually super super smart man that's exact one time so driven meaning like the people you meet in here cuz you meet people in show business though no that's a good point but white people were more like egotistical in a weird way it's a noble nopperz not like a dick way it's just it's just a little bit more ego I notice yeah a little bit more you I bet you and your friend do you bet you and your friends don't fart around each other no you know yeah and I don't and I don't do that either around other guys thank ya I don't either I'm kidding dude with Cuba sakes if you're close friends you fart but I'm not gonna just random dude and fart in front of them yeah I just probably guys wouldn't do it at all that'd be savage dude there's a tap of random personal shoulder and tell him you're farting probably gotta make this video it's a good idea it's just called apologize first and you apologize me you don't tell them why do you guys look at girls on Instagram what do you mean like do you know like sometimes I'll be like I'll be at the Comedy Store and you know so I'm like dude let me this like check this girl out or something like that do you guys do that or yeah it's it's hard to pinpoint what it is but I think feels right on point when he says it's just it's a certain amount of ego like we're just way more I would be way more welcoming or respect yeah but it's not like you guys are doing it to be dicks it's just we were raised just this way but what's weird the Koreans yes but then like when we're in the airport and I deal with this here and I have nothing against them sometimes just happens but like with the Chinese I feel like they're rude to me you know what they are like when people are speaking super loud in front of funny behind me whatever it's still rude it's still but I'm also super Americanized too he did grow up in Texas yeah did you really yeah if you guys but he would but you were you born in Korea born in Korea but I went my live in Texas oh I think Texas is it's gonna be whenever if there's a big war that comes in the future between like a met between like Los Angeles in New York and the rest of America if there's ever if things ever get that divided the capitals will be in Chicago in Texas I think of like the other mid the rest of us safer in Texas so Texas doesn't [ __ ] around normally [ __ ] de Texas Texas you know won't be a no pass on the on the board of war s because they have their issues but I feel like if you're in Austin you're pretty chill you know I've run as guns so no one's gonna pop off right and they have a lot of diversity in Texas so I think they're you people in Texas are used to being around other cultures and other ethnicities hundred percent in a weird way a lot of people think like oh Texas but I think there's some of that old boy ISM some of that [ __ ] or some of that but for the most part it's a melting it's a [ __ ] melting pot and it's just about you work hard you [ __ ] get your life [ __ ] a football [ __ ] out you barbecue ya drive trucks ya drive trata blonde white girl yeah but some of these blow my car me that [ __ ] so ever you know her blonde white girls I think like a southern belle make this sum up yeah look some of them I'm still around but some without the only thing I'm like quit talking like that and let's [ __ ] figure out what the [ __ ] going on yeah that's you talking about where they talk when they're in a pageant or some [ __ ] yeah some of that yeah I don't mean that southern belle I just mean like a southern belle who like you know I'm saying the Rings it takes care you know just holds the fort yeah that's true oh I like a hard walk I see you during the day when the baby's asleep constantly watching [ __ ] reruns of Walker Texas Ranger yeah yeah just polishing your badge yeah yeah yeah and they get that badge polish yeah and then I get home and she gots the smoker on the breast and [ __ ] and then she's making some nice mac and cheese got that Georgia ass too much there no it's good man look dude I fell asleep one time on a plane I was on pill on some type of Downers you know air down her sleepers sleepers yeah what is it allotted or something fall/autumn I don't know some kind of [ __ ] that put you to rest you can sleep on a plane value valium and I found myself I was in a sex dream dude I found myself acting out like I was doing oral sex you know and uh I was on a plane man like you like this drugs gay well look not me but men by that Ripper but what I'm saying is some do woke me up cuz I was literally doing oral sex in my mind like in the air you know wow you were [ __ ] your [ __ ] jaw and I wasn't even I was just naturally just flying you know just on these you know flying damn pills you're completely sober now though right yeah yeah you still do all that like and how is it a like a something you have to deal with every day like you is there like some sort of struggle we like you know I'm saying oh my god I don't know I've never been addicted like that like cuz you you have to go and I don't know if I can say this you tell me but you have to go like meetings and stuff still right yeah I go to meetings man I go to meetings vodka but I go I find that I never had a problem drinking you know I like doing a little bit of cocaine here and there sometimes I'll still watch videos of people doing cocaine on the Internet I'd also watch funerals on the internet so that kind of gets that high out of me but what I'm saying is that I will I'll I go for the fellowship and for the camaraderie you know just it's just like a group of friends oh dude it's all a little [ __ ] up yeah and the stories that they share is so real so it's like I need something real and my I need something to be [ __ ] real or my attention do you have a good group of friends out there besides those guys not that much so you go to them for so I think that's it for advise me like man I'm tweaking man about the yeah but I'm never tweaking like I'm just like hey man I'm having a tough time with this girl I'm having a tough time like feeling like like I can handle this day or I'm having a tough time like you know going into this meeting and I'm question what I should do or I got this auto lease and I don't know to like it's almost like you can get like you know father figures and brother figures in the car so that's the kind of stuff that really keeps me and it's like emotional sobriety and are most of them do they have your background in the show business or they just regular 9:00 to 5:00 I'll go to a mix of meetings I go to some where there are people in there where you know I've been in the meetings in this past week with Academy Award winners and and boxing national champions yeah yeah boxing like heavyweight champ yeah a lot of those things I mean especially in LA it's like almost a networking thing - it's like a boys club of super successful people that just happen to have yeah a politician and then I'll go in and ones also go to ones where it's like real people like where it's like homeless dudes sitting in there next to you just because that's kind of the environment I grew up in a little bit more like just regular people feel comfortable and so I feel yeah I feel like I need to see that a lot so that I don't forget what the world is like you can zone yourself off and make your world however you want it to be you know and I find those with those celebrity people I don't mean interrupt not a celebrity people talking are there other problems different than you know I'm saying like you yes I come on man like he's a guy like this week on social media the hate has just been well there's I mean there's groups for even like people that are to get a chapstick you know they can be bought there that's rockin them [ __ ] that makes sense I know a few people do to chubster yeah people that are [ __ ] can't get out of bed with you know dropping two tubes and ninety SPF on their yeah yeah man there's people like that for there are and there really are group for that so there's groups for everything but yes some people's problems to me are not big problems but to them and their limits big and so then I have to recognize it to them this [ __ ] this problem is real to them and then it's important and so then it tries to take me out of being judgmental you know cuz my mind is it my enemy is in my mind it might sound crazy to some people and I don't think about this [ __ ] all down and go to these meetings every day you know I live my life regular but there's something in my mind that doesn't want me to be the best person that I can be yeah and I know that my heart wants me to but my mind will try to trick me of sabotage will try to self-sabotage me man it is my mind is just as crafty as I am as a person you know it's just as crafty and it'll sneak in on me brother find ways to trying to start saying stuff yeah say stop me I flick stuff comes into you yeah make me feel less then make me yeah make me nervous frog on stage so it's like you got the [ __ ] you know diamond yeah you get that demon you got the dark alright changing demon get that Cajun demon boy hey you know but you seem like you've wrangled him in I don't know it was a battle and that's why I go to the meetings because it's a battle really and are they having the same issues some guys are there's always somebody who has the same issue or something similar so you can relate to yeah I got friends that are flashers I got friends that are last year's like they when cars drive by the flow dick or boy but uh you know it arrested these days for that I don't know anyway that does but anybody that but flashes is awesome well that's what we used to do his kids like cars drive by would just flash our buck and run off like hey come last me you thought it was so dangerous a naughty okay kids get arrested these days I was just are fun that's something that Asians that's disrespectful it's something I don't know what it's hilarious this is what it is and don't kill themselves if they're not doing good you guys would kill yourself a lot of a lot of people do see we just talked about that Japanese suicide forest yeah yeah yeah but yeah that stuff that this it we would laugh at it but we just wouldn't do it would you guys don't flick each other in the day no that's no they don't agree that's insane that's insane did if he did that his grandfather would kill himself right that's absolutely a lot more honor feel like you guys have more of like a solid family structure is that true hardcore yeah super Steve you know what names the biggest Korean porn star it's probably frowned well I mean come on Asians important women yeah women of course but not really man dudes yeah but I could see some crazy [ __ ] dudes like dudes jumping off a cliff so I didn't like a woman's ass like they take it over the top like oh you're gonna do that cool oh you guys bust on girl's face here's a [ __ ] video and there's 70d yeah that's true there's go way way deep I see guys like cartoons you have any anime let's [ __ ] you guys yeah well you like action movies check this out we're gonna do a movie here that's 30 years too late but still gonna kill at the box office grab John Claude Van Damme [ __ ] Arnold Schwarzenegger Wesley Snipes and they just kill in the box-office yeah oh you guys like scary movies and you guys always [ __ ] do it better like the ring all are scary movies a lot of it comes from Japanese and Korean is it really yeah we just redo it here but I think the scary movies back in the day used to be about like a man in the woods killing somebody and now it's more like this good humans it's a little bit more yeah demon you know why why the man the woods ain't fun anymore Wow cuz it really happens right the demon we can go and still be entertained like I can't get almost I'm balls deep in the el chapo I'd finally finished season to last night's the life star and El Chapo but it's a it's a TV series on Netflix it's brilliant but I almost turned it off because it's too real and this stuff actually happens because they killed this man's two kids they threw him off the bridge and they showed the video of the kid the actual video of the kids in the car like sleeping they tricked them this guy tricked them then they threw him off the this huge bridge and then murdered their mom it's just to like I don't need that in my life man I just don't like the world's dark enough I don't need to in my downtime watch that [ __ ] yeah that's dark man super dark so i yeah i really don't i kind of zone up from all that stuff but i saw like the conjuring and insidious four and all that and that i've way more fun going to watch because it's not real right like I'd rather watch that then watch like a hostel which going to people getting cut up and stuff because that's real yeah yeah like that kind of stuff can really be happen what are you guys what do you like you know I hate to say you guys I feel like I'm always trying to get you to speak for like everything east of Poland it's all make sense though but yeah what we're saying like wait what are you and what John or a movie do you like yeah when it comes to horror stuff what's it like for people that are similar maybe to you or not and that kind of look like a little bit yeah ballpark I do like creating the horror films the the one but I do it when I agree I don't like the gory stuff I like like mental thrillers things that are just suspenseful mentally yeah yeah and dark and scary and ghostly is that your favorite type of movie not John Rowe so you know that I got a little [ __ ] in fact they feel you know he sings country music know any other generalizations about I do a lot of [ __ ] balls I started [ __ ] [ __ ] mosh pit against each other dude I can't believe that really and he can say Jim why just play a video form for me get work play a video chip so it's so we can educate them did hockey get you some work over [ __ ] sky probably this afternoon you know and you know he also did a voiceover for Rango if you know that movie Rango on that Johnny Depp movie here's chin sing again Oh [Music] Wow dude just [ __ ] shattered every stereotype I ever fought o-line blown that's what I want to bring you in that's crazy right yeah dude that's fast yes welcome that screen Garth Brooks [Music] Garth Brooks was remembered he did that weird ones Garth Brooks it's just like oh you need to get over I can boo t-shirt and a viking hat come out waves to an invisible audience god Brooke you could kill it show you in five days you did that I'll share the [ __ ] you also know chin used to be over 300 pounds no way I was 285 oh I'm sorry I'm off my bats in one at 85 you're expecting to be that Chloe is a fighter you know I should know but it used to be 285 pounds Wow they also used to be in a boy band that's why you're so kind I can tell because people that are worth big and lost weight are always very kind always right for a percent you know what is first in their very kind on the internet they're very mean oh wow how does he can get away with it because I can't see the cheeto fingers hmm so they be the last people that to comment on oh you're not talking about weight stuff right I am talking my weights you don't know when they're big a lot of times and this is a generalization we've done this others show worlds in general I know but a lot of times a lot of the hate come from they hate themselves so when they see you doing something they want to spew that hate on it yeah that makes sense it's like yeah there's something in me when I see somebody and it's envy or some it just turns into fear inside of me or some and then jealousy and then lash out you envy what I mean I other comics I wouldn't be other comics for a while sometimes these days I don't as much because I a little bit more Fokin yeah a little bit more focus on what I'm doing then before when I was a little bit just like this you're trying to find your lanes now you finally finally found your path and office here is legit as it comes as a comedian I think sometimes be confused with jealousy with inspiration like I'll see what Rogen's doing I'll see what you're doing or Chris D'Elia or any of the top guys bill burr geek Kevin Hart for that matter he's taking the torch and [ __ ] ran with it it's well it's not there's no jealousy and zero it's almost it's just inspiration yeah yeah I think damn I want that for myself like I'll see I go oh damn I want that for myself that would be a home run for me man yeah odd it's cool to see someone doing that well yeah I mean you've been sticking with this for a while now man how long you been doing stand-up for when I did my first live find the kid I don't know four years ago three years ago when I did my first set set like own personal set probably I don't know two years ago maybe and then I've been on like doing my own like straight-up show like our show oh yeah I started when was the first big brown at I saw I saw snow last around December like December January I think last December right and you facility we started in January he facilitates at all well you facilitate all that when they go do it we know we did the big brown breakdown alive for a good chunk of it where we just do it like we do the show but now he's straight up stand up but do you go and do the live show when they go do it some of them some of them some of them because that was the evolution of kind of when I got into stand-up is I would do the live podcast but it was just a way for me to get stage time with my craft oh yes yeah I'm doing this but then I do you know 30 minutes stand-up before and then talk about the fights and the Dufresne questions yeah and then once I wrote enough material it's like nope just all stand up now yeah there's like these training wheels I've been so fortunate man so fortunate have a platform to do it yeah it's cool man it's been interesting me this whole world is gonna gentleman when I started doing my own podcast like a year ago I was like I don't know anything to talk about and then like it's just how we build almost more self-confidence yeah to be able to talk and listen to guys like you know Gaza krogan a spaz actually just in getting like encouragement from guys like that you know we're being able to ask you about a question you know like what do I do here you know I feel like Parkinson's therapeutic a little bit because again I ones a lot I mean you and I see each other at the comic store and we'll talk for a little bit maybe 20 minutes max from the back but go on maybe thirty minutes it but it's a group of us was spitballing [ __ ] and try to make each other laugh but here I mean we've talked for damn to two hours now you know I'm safe so it's like when is the second longest conversation ever video yeah broken being the first yeah but I feel like it's there you know it's almost therapy yeah it's nice yeah I think so man I think it's definitely interesting I appreciate you guys having me and I can't believe Brian's this late [Laughter] I don't know if I could have I saw that it was on variety so I can say it so remember when Brian shot that spin-off and he got canceled I cried for Brian Wow it's a big moment for him and I he'll he's gonna hate me for saying this Brian has always been the guy cuz when showbiz is so long his heart's so ice-cold from it and he's so non-emotional about acting comedy he doesn't give a [ __ ] you know I got sold out Wilbur he's like pretty cool anyways you want a ham sandwich I'm like yeah all right man but that's just Brian yeah just so he's the kid he's the kid named him that self but anyways so he this is a year ago maybe are in May he shot a spin-off for the Goldbergs where he's the coach and here's a big role in it and I was telling him like dude it's gonna happen this is gonna happen for you and I was encouraged him and he'd be so negative and drove me [ __ ] nuts and I might just admit you want this man he's like no no I don't care I have no controller I don't care this is show business Mike alright man and then we'd be just mean him I'm like dude admit you want this for me like nope not gonna do it then he text me at midnight I've never forget this he was in San Francisco he was in San Francisco maybe he's in Denver doing shows and he texted us hey brother I find out tomorrow morning if I get the show you're the only one I'm going to tell this to but it's gonna hurt if I don't get it wow I was like you're [ __ ] kidding it man you're getting it I get goose bumps on Matt and then next morning cause his first call happen oh yeah I do so I lied to him I was so heartbroken for men I was so sad for him cuz I knew how even though he won't admit it how bad he wanted that yeah Bryant's I would give a [ __ ] what he tells you guys Brian's number one passion is acting yeah Brian came to LA to be an actor and sometimes though in Brian's us very successful actors yeah yeah it works non [ __ ] stop Brian's on the gold Brooks Brian compares himself to Hugh Jackman and fight you know these Kevin Hart's yeah count him so to him he's a you know this was his big break well today I go on variety like I do every morning like a goddamn gentleman and I'm scrolling through and it says the spin-off of the Goldbergs is RiRi erected know what has erected they're gonna bring it back and test it but they're gonna the but they're not testing it just a sample gonna put it on they're gonna put it on this whole time and didn't tell us this yeah why just say just remember price shut up about people have to listen all the way through our [ __ ] Joe dude that is chauvinism so he must be ecstatic nope talk to him about it cuz I could send that little bro it's I [ __ ] told you maybe not maybe that happened the way you wanted to but it's happening and he goes that they're just gonna test it doesn't mean they pick it up we got a response [ __ ] you [ __ ] off I always think the best I don't mind being broken hearted man I don't know I listen I'm waiting Maronites was say so with e another thing I did for them for the Golden Globes yeah that was my tryout to be on e yeah so if that went well they'd have to pick up my other options for Kadim e Ward's Oscars Met Gala right so if that went well I don't know yeah I'm waiting to find out do I want that [ __ ] yeah I love doing that stuff man the Brian's like no just take it out of your mind like but why I don't mind be it I'm not embarrassed if I don't get it you don't give if I tell the for you you know I'm saying I don't care you're gonna use a lot of face moisturizer probably probably you have to get some da tears bigger ears put on probably right eventually getting two years you can have [ __ ] big ears you're gonna be so different your neck file down a little bit on the sides let's finish these Curt events van McMahon I have one question do you think he that he doesn't get the excitement because like why because he's what he's a he's a from whatever yeah it's not it seems like he's just he's so used to not getting it he doesn't want to prepare himself to gets the nature of the business seasoned amazing actor right he's been he's been this clean O'Brien was supposed to be will unwilling grace came down to Kim and the guy who got it oh did you guys know that no that guy is you know I don't either grace that was supposed to be Brian you know I'm saying so and he's Brian's been this close to this movie and this close to this movie and this and this is this so after a while he's like it's out of my control man I'm not gonna put entered and I get it I'm different he goes you know I'm sound my control and could put energy in that cuz the chance of that happening there's so many moving pieces I've learned the hard way myself I had this pilot I shot and it was took a year and a half for them to finally turn it down but they kept dangling from my face I tell Brian it's happening it's happened and he's like no it's not bro you think you don't understand I'm not saying it's not but it's so out of your control saying funny you did your job you gotta hate great job but there's so many moving pieces and for a show to get picked up it's not even funny and I'm running this now with this venture I'm doing I can't right now but I'm learning it now yeah we're just like holy [ __ ] there's so many to get this train moving there's so many pieces yeah and that to Brian's point and he's pretty the way he does is probably the correct way to do it I like to be excited as [ __ ] like that be I like the ups and downs not not saying when I when I don't get a job not brokenhearted right I like but when I do get it it's so much more right and maybe it could because I mean and this is me just throwing things out thought because I totally understand where Brian's coming from like I'm 30 years yeah and he does it he just protecting himself you know in this town will you can be the best at something in not and it's not even about that and never get your shine yeah and it's not even about that you know but I honestly believe Brian's won the best comics in the world uh excuse me what she seem in person yeah Brian and what we selling it tastes funny on this Mike Wright and his specials are good but Brian in person is the but one of the best conversation in the world if the video doesn't do it justice justice and I don't know how they could get that to come across but someone well Brian's one big Netflix special from just blowing up which if anyone deserves it's him Brian give me fifty one wow really 51 nothing needs a moisturizer you use he does that's what I've been thinking about when you I'm not around I know he's he needs the hair transplant day you went partying people to do it well tell Brian and I'll pay for it oh I get a discount well I got one guy's legit he will not just put hair on you for no reason no one for it like don't get me wrong up and we would always figure out how to do the front kid but if Brian came he was like bro I've blown up so much I get my spin off on the on ABC and now I'm a movie star fired kids stuff for me to do now it would don't Iran I love doing so Brian he's my best friend and break my heart we'd figure something out to still put it on miter in the kimchi move up in over it and fighter in the steel spider in the Thea did I get out of here fight I'd be broken hard but I'd be also be so happy for Brian yeah man I'm gonna think about that I'm gonna wish that for him because I you know sometimes you forget you see these guys in passing a lot you know at comedy clubs you forget some of the struggle and Brian seems so young to like he's just so [ __ ] vivacious and young you don't you forget that I mean I'm 37 so that's another 13 14 years of struggle he's had out here and major struggle to you don't like Brian he's so talented I remember seeing him on yeah on TV showing me like Dan that guy's hilarious you know II always do anything act so that shows you it's not about that it's about these other [ __ ] mooks out here just depends where you need your break maybe Brian gets this break it fit you and that's happened for some up and I'm not it we're sounding like Brian hasn't been successful Brian success one he's a work in acting lesson actors but I'm talking about Reena breakout star where Brian you know he's doing his heels justified correct he hasn't felt justified yet yeah I can I can totally empathize with that I want that for him yeah I do too man I'm gonna think of that that he that he gets that did imma put that on my show my hopeless yeah because he deserves it man will put my stuff on the - there's only one from a burner we just [ __ ] put the kid on it I know but yeah put me uh sometimes people have to do we don't have to your you start off another burner that's right what's your bro the skillet all right Jim what else you put you in the skillet moving the skillet Doug all right this is everywhere as you know it the H&M ad that came out about a little black kid wearing something on his hoodie this is coolest monkey in the jungle you guys you guys did hear about this is that racist deal I don't think so I think this was an accident and I think at a certain point that we have to stop saying that everything is racist it's like it's almost becoming starting to be for me the boy who cried wolf it's like I don't think I don't look at this and think that this is racist if someone does look at it and they say oh this this is race is you're racist yeah I didn't have that thought in my mind what my girls show me this I'm like okay what's wrong with this hoodie she's like it says monkey on I'm like but he's not a monkey she's like well that's racist I'm like if you think of black bears monkeys it is right and back in the day people referred on that but I don't come from that culture I don't come from that background so I see it I'm like that's a cute little black boy you know the coolest monkey in the jungle and then some white kid with a shitty haircut that says from the Allison Grove jungle yeah yes it's a jungle owner and [ __ ] like that and you're like then you're like what the [ __ ] going on here yeah if that little white boy sweatshirt said monkey owner and then his church says coolest monkey then we got problems yeah but if you're hmm you're such a big thing like big corporation just to be safe I don't put the bike in the monkeys that's exactly the argument that's what I don't think they're races right no they're saying it's poor taste you should have known better you have so many people in the company letting this passed by so it feels as if they wanted that to get out or they're just so anti-racist they don't like what or that's it the awesome are you kidding me right nobody's thinking that anymore like we do it's [ __ ] doin 18 yeah but some parts of South Carolina are thinking that but other than that no really and also some parts of black culture kita need to also I think in this I mean I'm not black but need to quit if they sometimes it's just like don't if you continue to just push this that this everything is wrong there's always gonna be that way I agree if we just don't bat an eye to this and just like that's a cute black boy in a shirt that says coolest monkey in the jungle yeah now is it racist if the white kid was in a sweatshirt too that says coolest monkey in the jungle if they're both in the same thing is that racist now that might have been a better idea yeah that'd be different that would be the men that would be different but it would still point they would look at that little black kids but you know have you thought of maybe you know a lot of different companies make these kind of risky headlines to get headlines correct and then sometimes it overshoots then this time it bit them in the ass like I wonder if that might have such a big bite in the ass though I know that's what saying sometimes it works but then this is horribly going wrong and all these different celebrities like the weekend he cut his deal with HM and so did Jeezy they both had left well I mean well they have pressure from fans to do greed and H&M also also makes shitty clothes now anyway it used to be a little bit more quality I mean that's the same company on my Zara Zara used to be nice and now it's [ __ ] you're going to Zara and it's like a violent H&M in there yeah it's so messed up but then celebrities just use stuff like this to make them look a certain that's also true too and then all them things that I'm tired so Jeezy says sorry guys over the past months I was genuinely excited about launching my upcoming line in collaboration with H&M unfortunately after seeing the disturbing image yesterday my excitement over our global campaign quickly evaporated outside at this time our partnership needs to end well oblivious oversight or not it's truly sad and disturbing that 10:18 some so racially and culturally insensitive could pass by lies so many styles photography creative marketing teams and be deemed acceptable I can't allow for my name and brand with company that could let this happen hope the situation will serve as a wake-up call that hmm another companies need yeah yeah I've just heard this to me to me somebody who doesn't feel this type of way it just easy has to do this though cuz you're gonna get some backlash if this comes out and then your collab comes out where the fans are like what the [ __ ] you support these rates that bastard's a good point you would probably lose more money if he write if he wrote this out but they probably have to people were still gonna go shop at H&M next week I don't give it were just sitting at home [ __ ] saying probably won't affect ourselves right yeah I would probably still buy because it's cheap I would still buy cuz I don't think the racist I think they're stupid yeah I think they were smooth yeah let me ask you this in would you I'm just thinking off the top of my head or anything so if I wore a hoodie or if I was in an ad and I wear a hoodie is it a white hoodie let's say it's uh let's say it's an Under Armour hoodie cuz it'll go with what I'm saying and what if it said don't be the [ __ ] in the armor and I was wearing it would you let that ad go out would you not think twice about that I would not let that go out I would not let that I go out interesting I don't if you didn't want to says super [ __ ] on it I might think that that's fun because if it had a name on the back what I wouldn't let it go out what I would I would buy one personally and honest with you yeah we'd each have one what about if you had a hoodie on and it said I'm good at math or if I said of course I'm gonna map there you go that's a really good one not racist because it's it's a positive thing it doesn't say anything well a monkey is just it's just not good for a human being to be what if I get super capable they are very smart and we did start wrong but what if what if Nike to campaign with a black kid and his shirt said of course I'm athletic yeah oh yeah is that racist yeah it seems like it would be a little too much sorry what was it again I want to know this one if Nike did a campaign with a black kid or black man is said of course I'm athletic races are not fast strong yeah I mean no cuz it's probably like a positive but it might seem I mean the only people that really get to cry to get to say what's racist are people that have white that aren't white yeah but I think it's gonna start evening out a little bit more where hopefully we get to a level where everyone looks at each other or we perceive that we all look at each other the same logo so then we can you know see race you know every of everybody that is you know if somebody really is racist cuz I mean I've felt racism before from people it's like see you know it's how you learn what it feels like but is that racist if it's positive yeah it's probably is racist right is right you know of course I'm a surgeon but it would be wouldn't be as great I mean the math thing wouldn't be as racist as the athletic thing there's a reason all right wouldn't you the agree or no if you if I said of course I'm good at math a black guy wearing of course I'm athletic right which one do you feel is more racist um what unity feels more offensive hmm the black one you know what they're all the same I don't know the of course but it's also a pry it's like yeah [ __ ] um I'm athletic but it's not true right it's not true but in all they just emphasize math more in their culture right and them and also what agents are [ __ ] I mean here's the thing some ethnicities are so far in time it would have with whatever little evidence we might draw from here in America you know which is probably pretty limited would appear then better at some things or the argument with that in those cultures in those ghettos in those in those wards in those poor low-income places are those children that predominately happen to be african-american are they pushed into sports right because that's their only you know that's what the one of their avenues to get out of there to make money oh yeah as a white kid in certain neighborhoods that maybe middle class you know or maybe is poor but they're not pushed so much on sports yeah so that's why are we just assuming they're better at sports so they're more athletic and you know more explosive or is it just they focus on it more the same as the Chinese do when it comes to math or you know just our brains are all the same we've learned that right that's one thing we know every humans brain is the same yeah so since you were born if your sole focus was to be the fastest man on the planet and to get good at soccer you probably be pretty [ __ ] good yeah if everyone around you the same way it's this competitive nature we're all trying to make to the league you're all gonna be pretty [ __ ] good and especially if I look around my neighborhood and the only person that anybody knows who's had success is in two or three different avenues he's gonna focus on that then and those are your only choices and those are things for survivors education is not the focus right you're gonna focus more on sport yeah yeah yeah because I think that those are ones whether it's more of a you know you can't have as much white privilege in those type of environments or as much European privilege or whatever you want to call it you know those are areas where you can get in and you can make your mark no matter what are easier so yeah I could imagine I mean that's you know and it's got to be tough and it's got to be unfortunate and then it starts to become that probably there's some black children out there or poor white children that feel like the only way that they can succeed that's even cool is through sports or music right so then that has to be a little bit self too like unfortunate because then they don't even want to try these other avenues that are now available to these are also told like this is how to get out here this way you gonna do or man make sure you're doing this or focus on this right you know or it's not hip it's not hip now in that culture to be anything else then like if you're poor it's not hip to be like oh I remember growing up money but if I told some I want to be a [ __ ] lawyer they're gonna beat the [ __ ] out of me correct you know cool it's just not cool so in poor culture it's like it's not cool to be anything other than athletic or a musician career now so now that's like focus yeah and then that then you [ __ ] up because there's the only things you're going for if you don't those capabilities anymore and there's so much more available to you now like in India some of the best computer programmers in the world or India yeah in the world there's some of the best they're taking you know not taking jobs but they have a ton of jobs they come over here they do a great job me and my brother talking about this you think they're what what do you think they're so good at cuz they put a focus on computer programming yeah so now they have you know how many people they have there shitload so you're gonna get some people you can learn and find up a sandwich over there you know it's like but if you're inside out that you know they focus on schools and academics be like God Chinese people always smart well in their culture they're told they have to do that yeah it's a smart white kid they're smart black kids yeah it's a smart friendly and smart Russians it just depends what you're geared towards yeah grow up and I think we're all the same it's interesting fact that we all the same brain man [ __ ] I'm gonna tell my friends in ya go tell your friends were all the same what else you got chin what do you want more to really get feel out of it all right call my [ __ ] up your schedule too we've noticed gotta go you're just some Chatty Cathy's yeah it's a good show alright a kayaker in Japan admitted to setting up his rival by putting a banned substance in that rivals drink before they race hilarious and that guy got caught and he was banned for life the guy who put the other guy that got slipped the supplement oh but the substance can he prove that that guy put the drink in there so check it out he was this guy felt so guilty this is the guy's face by the way he commits suicide yeah he felt so guilty he admitted it to the to the officials and now he's banned for eight years from the kayaking sport at least it's only eight years and that guy's obviously you know he's redeemed now the other guy's good to go type move man Oh folks I would actually happen people yeah put in the honor the shame that he probably feels huh yeah because Shane was pretty heavy I feel like in his culture from the looks of him but you're so guilty well the guy who was falsely [ __ ] over though the way steroids worked and those accusations you know how many people heard about him you know being screwed over a lot of people just like oh he took steroids he's [ __ ] to write it off he was in the restaurants to talk about you know it's not exact no no hold on didn't you see the story like now anyone kept a story the allegation right when it comes out you're screwed forever people what's that also here's a history of like messing people's gear like stealing stuff 51 it looks like a shifty one I want to trust him he's like one of those guys on the file one of those um those Ultimate Fighter or something things at cheats or something yeah yeah yeah like a Junie browning or war machine or some [ __ ] so it turns it boom well brother you're at the Brahe improv this weekend Thursday Friday Saturday and Sunday yep at the brain improv all weekend I'll be in Jacksonville the following weekend I got Portland coming up I got the helium in Portland I'm gonna be at Harveys in Portland with the helium this week yeah it seems cool yeah I've never been in this place called Harvey's but I'm excited nice man and then I'll be in La Jolla and some other places you can check it out on Theo van comm slashed or boom - on 17t fat cake gets the year Silvana remembered as usual man we're a couple Chatty Cathy's when we get together well it was nice out of really nice time I'd appreciate a nice conversation was I get more than anyone this is fun man yes I didn't include you that much in-game like oh yeah that's a bummer we weren't trying to be sex I wasn't trying to be sex no not at all hashtag zero okay good the Thursday tomorrow's you guys listen this Thursday night I'm in Portland helium Thursday one show Friday to show Saturday two shows all those shows are almost sold out good tea fat cake calm right now four tickets and then the only other show that's not sold out are we just added another date January 31st economy works downtown Denver the ferry first one is sold out so we had a show on that Wednesday night 31st and then on the third and fourth I'm in st. Louis st. Louis come and get it come and get it t back a calm for tickets and then Brian is in Nashville Zanies this weekend go see my best comics in the world town zannies nashville t fat k calm we love you guys this is the fighter and the vaughn we're out

Channel: The Fighter and The Kid

Views: 1,424,503

Keywords: the fighter and the kid, fighter, kid, the fighter, the kid, brendan schaub, bryan callen, brendan and bryan, podcast, vodcast, podcasting, fox, fox sports, ufc, mma, ultimate fighting, mixed martial arts, Big Brown Breakdown, Brendan Schaub comedy, Brendan Schaub stand up, Theo Von

Id: DEA6nczZivk

Length: 130min 48sec (7848 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 10 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/TKfromNC]

I found Theo in the last few days. Had me dying in my cubicle. Maybe being from the south I kind of relate to the humor and the types of people in his stories. Fucking kills me. When he was on Rogan the banter that starts at 10:55 is pure fucking gold.

[u/fetus_stomper666]

Dark arts

[u/GoonerChaz]

Not seen much of Theo Von before, but he had me laughing out loud at my desk, I can't remember the last time I did that

[u/X-202]

Theo Von's Podcast channel.

[u/[deleted]]

Theo recaps his appearance on TFATK at the beginnin of today’s This Past Weekend podcast, and it is fantastic.

[u/AnotherPattonacct]

Theo is just the best. Even Brendan is slightly less hateable when hes with Theo.

[u/hnirobert]

WHAT'S UP YOU DOMINICAN GOAT LOVERS

[u/Jolmer24]

I need more Theo in my life. He lifts my spirits and elevates me from my latent 'tism and belief in the dark arts. Boi let me tell you.

[u/El_Invader_Ten]

Theo bringing the #darkarts cajun style son!