The Fifth Element - Bonkers, Baffling and Brilliant

europe isn't exactly known for its big budget science fiction movies yeah the germans gave us metropolis like a hundred years ago and the italians thrilled us with uh your hunter from the future [Music] but generally speaking if you wanted your action sci-fi needs satisfied you probably had to look towards hollywood's but back in the heady days of 1997 a young art house director named luke bisson decided to put that right in the most french way possible by bringing to life a script he'd been working on for nearly 20 years and the results was one of the most vibrant quirky and delightfully bonkers films in decades i'm talking of course about the fifth elements it's a film that's always had a special place in my hearts yeah it's not exactly high concept art the plot is riddled with holes and contrivances the humor is distinctly off-beat and some of the characters are definitely an acquired taste like [ __ ] brake fluid but whatever its logical shortcomings there's still something infinitely endearing and watchable about the fifth elements you can tell that a lot of love and creativity and ambition went into this movie it's an epic galaxy spanning adventure played out over hundreds of years featuring some of the most remarkable visuals in cinema a story about two people from vastly different backgrounds thrown together in a race against time to recover an ancient artifact before an entity of pure evil destroys the entire world and it does all of this with annoying wink and its tongue planted firmly in cheek whether you love it or hate it one thing's for sure you'll never see another movie quite like the fifth elements which makes it a nice antidote to the bleak generic trash that passes for modern entertainment so without further ado let's get into this shall we the movie kicks off in egypt in 1914 where an archaeology team is investigating the ruins of an ancient temple look it's even got luke perry trying to act anyway the inscriptions on the wall tell the story of an ancient evil that revisits earth every five thousand years why earth why every five thousand years what does this entity actually want don't know the point is that each time it returns it has to be defeated by gathering the four elements of the universe earth air fire and whiskey sorry water around the magical being to form the ultimate weapon of fifth elements if you will but it's okay because it's not you back for a few hundred years anyway then a bunch of fat aliens show up in a spaceship and open up a hidden chamber so they can retrieve the stones for safe keeping because world war one is about to kick off the problem is that luke perry loses his [ __ ] and tries to shoot them which triggers the door mechanism somehow and one of them gets jammed in it because they move about as fast as your average tumbler user why couldn't he just wait on the other side for a minute while his friends opened the door again why does getting your hands stuck in a door result in instant death if this did kill him then why is his body missing when the main characters returned here at the climax of the movie don't know the point of all of this is that the fat aliens promise they'll come back one day with the elemental weapon when it's needed most flash forward a few hundred years and wouldn't you know it there's the evil thing in this case it just kind of appears as a dark planet covered in flames like it just got back from a weekend vacation on the event horizon naturally the humans don't like the look of this so they send in the military to blow the [ __ ] out of it that doesn't work though because it turns out that shooting missiles at a demonic entity that feeds on evil is about as effective as firing chicken nuggets at a fat positivity activist evil begets evil mr president shooting will only make it stronger i love this line where they've just thrown everything they have at it without even making a dance what what do we have that's bigger than 240 nothing sir needless to say the encounter doesn't end well but luckily the fat aliens return with the magic weapon that can destroy the evil thing all they need to do now is get it to earth switch it on and bob's your uncle unfortunately the ship gets intercepted on route and blown to [ __ ] because i guess mounting defensive weaponry on a ship tasked with transporting literally the most important thing in the entire universe was just a step too far i love how this guy is just having the time of his [ __ ] life here anyway the humans are able to recover a piece of the weapon from the wreckage and rebuild it into the body of a young woman and not just any woman either this is mila jovovich and what i think was her first major film role you know before all the bad things happens but this time around she's playing illumina look pretend i'm really drunk and bad with names that's better now lilo turns out to be more of a handful than she seems and before you know it she escapes captivity and literally falls into the lap of a cab driver named [ __ ] off ruby rod i'll get to you soon enough believe me anyway lilu begs corbin to take her to a priest named cornelius who can help her recover the four stones complete the weapon and get it to the temple before the evil thing destroys the worlds the problem is that they have to travel off world to a luxury vacation planet to meet the person that's safeguarding them why exactly can't she just bring the stones to them don't know but how do they get to her well that's where corbin comes in you've won the uh annual gemini contest and a trip to flosston paradise for two unfortunately they're not the only ones who want the stones opposing them are the mercenaries who shot down the fat alien spaceship who were hired by jean-baptiste emmanuel zorn now this dude is a [ __ ] legend anyone who can rock a hairstyle like that is all right in my book zorg is a wealthy industrialist working for the evil entity thing because for some reason he believes it will reward him once it destroys all life on earth [Laughter] i really don't think you've thought this one through mates anyway all of these various factions eventually collide in a big action finale aboard a luxury cruise liner and [ __ ] me this is where the film just goes all out there's explosions fist fights dudes dressed like 18th century aristocracy aliens shootouts opera singers and aliens shooting opera singers although the doctor in me does have to question how the [ __ ] this girl was able to fit all four stones inside her own body i mean they're not exactly small and she's not exactly big so where the hell did she put them it's all absolutely bonkers but damn you can't help but enjoy the sheer insanity of it and with time running out the gang head to earth with the stones to trigger the weapon and save humanity but now that lilo's had a chance to catch up on the darker side of human history will she actually want to protect them don't do something right now we're all gonna die understand what's the use of saving life when you see what you do with it the fifth element truly is a unique movie combining the quirky humor and cinematography of a french comedy with the epic visuals and explosive action of a typical hollywood blockbuster and the result is something that people either seem to love or hate it's definitely not for everyone and i think whether or not you enjoy it depends a lot on what you expect to get out of it anyone looking for the epic melodrama of star wars or the serious exploration of grand ideas that star trek used to excel at is definitely going to come away frustrated this is a very different take on the genre with distinctly european sensibilities but if you're willing to take the movie on its own terms there's definitely a lot to keep you entertained the cast is fantastic ranging from competent action stars like bruce willis you know back when he actually still cared about making movies to respected character actors like ian holm and gary oldman to fresh-faced newcomers like mila jovovich and damn is that tricky from massive attack that's me everyone does a solid job on this film investing their roles with real heart and personality corbin is the classic reluctant hero jaded and selfish to begin with but gradually redeeming himself as he grows more attached to lilu speaking of which lilo herself is a [ __ ] great character she's genuinely funny and quirky at times as she struggles to navigate modern society she loves a good laugh and her trusty multipass lulu dallas movie pass i love how she keeps trying to use it on people even though she has no [ __ ] clue what it's for miss multibus she can kick ass when she needs to but she's also savvy enough to use emotional manipulation to get corbin to help her and ultimately it takes both of them realizing their love for each other to finally trigger the weapon and save the world luke bisson is best known as a highly visual director and damn does that shine through in this movie the fifth element delivers some absolutely stunning scenes from futuristic cruise liners flying over ocean planets to mile high skyscrapers to fiery death hellscapes it all looks great and it's complemented by extravagant costumes and set designs that make sure every scene is interesting to look at even the soundtrack ranges from reggae music to techno cyberpunk to big grand orchestral numbers and it feels like there's never a moment where there's not some kind of background score set in the emotional tone there's an awful lot going on here and depending on your taste you're either gonna find this film garish and overbearing or colorful and richly detailed there's also a lot of weird quirks to the writing and story structure and for the life of me i can't decide if it's clever subversion or besson just not given a [ __ ] like this big extravagant scene where zorg demonstrates the capabilities of his newest weapon capabilities that are literally never used throughout the whole movie or the fact that he and corbin never actually encounter each other or even interact in any way i love this little bit of foreshadowing though the worst like fight for hopeless courses honor honors kill millions of people hasn't saved a single one one hour later oh no [Laughter] or this scene where a meth head tries to rob corbin only to end up disarming his own gun that's very nice or how lilo can read a poster on the wall of corbin's taxi despite not understanding a word of english or what exactly zorg expects to get out of his deal with the evil death planet thing i mean do you really think this thing's gonna set up a bank transfer for you when this is all over and of course there's ruby rods jesus wept i mean i know the characters meant to be obnoxious and irritating but damn they really went overboard with this one you basically have to grit your teeth just to get through his scenes and the fact they tried to set him up as a comedy sidekick so late in the game in a movie that's already pretty overpopulated just feels like a colossal waste of screen time that being said he's still less annoying than your average tick tocker ultimately then the fifth element is a film that's kind of hard for me to classify because it manages to be and do so many different things all at once is it a misunderstood visual masterpiece or a ridiculous overblown vanity project from a director that specializes in style over substance or is it something else entirely i honestly can't make up my minds but i can tell you this it's a film i've watched many times before and would happily do so again knowing i'd enjoy it every time and well there's not many films that can do that honestly if you haven't seen it already i'd encourage you to watch it yourself and form your own opinions you might love it or hate it but i can guarantee you'll never forget it anyway that's all i've got for today go away now

Channel: The Critical Drinker

Views: 1,286,311

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Id: 1-38s1iAy9U

Length: 12min 41sec (761 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 15 2021