Inattentive ADHD. So, what is the definition of inattentive ADHD? And the definition is that it's it's really tougher for people with inattentive ADHD to focus, to keep their focus on, or stick with a task. Um there can be challenges with staying organized, following directions or conversations, losing things, difficulty with paying attention to details, seen in often careless mistakes. We can see higher levels of distractedness or dreaminess. Kids may not appear to listen. Adults may not appear to listen. Sometimes you're drifting off into your own thoughts. Uh over time, there can be a higher level of mental fatigue, harder to sustain your energy throughout a task, and forgetfulness. Um, Annie, would you be willing to put up an article on sluggish cognitive tempo? That would be really great. Thank you. Um, So, in order to get a diagnosis of inattentive ADHD, just like for hyperactive impulsive ADHD, you you it requires six or more symptoms of inattention and in the, in the age of, up to 16, and five or more symptoms in ages 17 or older. The symptoms need to present for six months or longer, and differ from expected behaviors for peers of the same age. Symptoms must be chronic and long lasting and not due to a situational influence or a physical illness. We know that stress, sleep issues, and depression or other physical issues can all affect attention and these need to be ruled out with a professional valuation before getting an ADHD in attentive diagnosis. Um I would love it if you would put some of your questions about Inattentive ADHD into the chat. Now, I thought about what we're going to talk about today and I thought, hm, what are the top five overlooked signs of inner inattentive ADHD and what can you do about them Uh so the first sign I thought about was difficulty completing tasks. Now, people with imitative ADHD or inattentive ADHD are not lazy. They're not stupid. They're not unwilling. They're not oppositional. They actually have a biologically based challenge with attending to the work at hand and their brains do tire more quickly and this can be due to slower processing speed and lower levels of working, memory in comparison to other intelligence factors. How can we deal with this difficulty with completing tasks? Well, the first thing that you want to do is to chunk your tasks. Break them down into smaller pieces. Work for a specific time period with a built-in break that you time also. And create a preferred order of doing tasks. Easy, medium, hard, medium, easy. Like, how do you like to approach things And what tasks qualify as easy, medium, or hard? Um this this helps kids and adults who struggle with sustained focus and persistence. A lack of focus may not indicate a lack of interest. And it really has nothing to do with intelligence. And I think for a lot of people within a ton of ADHD these get mixed together unfortunately. Fisa asks does inattentive ADHD cause memory problems, I find it so hard to remember things. I don't think there's causality. I think they go together. So, we know that a lot of people with ADHD struggle with working memory issues. That's part of often having ADHD. Working, you know, there are different types of intelligences. There's verbal, there's visual spatial, there's you know, a working memory and processing speed, fluid reasoning. These are all the types of intelligences that also often are measured on cognitive testing when people are evaluated for ADHD if they go that route. Um working memory is often part of having ADHD. It many many people with ADHD have their working memory is not as efficient as perhaps the verbal comprehension or their ability to you know think you know to to understand you know graphic representations or think spatially. Um so I think it's really important to to understand that that's part of having ADHD. It doesn't cause it. They it comes with it. Um Lisa asks can processing speed be improved or is that forever what it is? Meaning what a test like the whisk shows. That's a great question. Uh Lisa for those who don't of you who don't know what a whisk is. It's the Wexler Intelligence Scale for Children. And it's one of the ways that we can measure these different intelligences for adults. There's something called the waste, the Wexler Adult Intelligence Scale, and some people use what's called the Woodcock Johnson as well. Those are, that's another way to assess intelligence. Um so, the things that can help with processing speed actually what seems to be the most effective thing for processing speed because it's it's an unconscious process actually can be medication. Medication can, you know, basically assist in making those connections a little more quickly. I think also really focusing on doing one thing at a time. One of the things that process that that that's that people with lower slower processing speeds struggle with is that they can't really do multiple things at the same time and in our world of media multitasking or activity multitasking it can be difficult to really like understand all that information and what's going to happen and where do you go first. One of my really smart 13-year-old clients once said to me, Doctor Sharon, it's like this and she was describing her processing speed which was slower than than her really than her general intelligence and her ability to understand and think and talk and and really and and you know, use use she was very artistic so she was great at that. And she said it's like the file comes in my brain and the papers go everywhere. And I start to pick up those papers. And then the next file comes in my brain. And those papers go everywhere. And then the next file comes in my brain. And those papers go everywhere. And I'm still working on picking up the papers from the first file. So one of the things that can help with processing speed is to slow down the amount of information that's coming at you. And the that you're putting your on yourself to process it and do something with it. Uh let's see. Um Katie asks, are there any therapies that help with inattentive types beside medication? Well, of course, you know, one of the things that we talk about here are all kinds of behavioral interventions because we know that medication can help, you know, forge those connections, make those make your brain run more efficiently but it's not necessarily going to teach you skills that are those of that and that you need in order to be more organized or to to manage your emotions more effectively or to prior learn to prioritize or plan. So, we want to focus on building up those executive functioning skills. Um when you take medication, it can help you you know, hold on to those lessons and and you know, metabolize them a little bit faster. Um or for a longer amount of time. But you still have to actually learn the skills. And that's part of what the cognitive work is all about and why it's so important. Uh Lynn asks is working memory the same as short-term memory? No. What happens is there are different types of memories. So there's short-term memory, working memory, and long term memory. And there's some debate in the field. But when I wrote my book I did a lot of research on this. And short term memory is like really like a couple seconds. Working memory, you hold it for a little bit longer, maybe six to seven seconds or six to seven unit, six to 7 seconds and then, there, what, what you do with working memory is so short is and how it's different than short-term memory. A short-term memory is, you know, some, someone says something, and you, you, you, you know, go get your go or write this down, and you write it down. Um, but you have to hold it. Working memory, you have to hold it in your memory and deuce something with it. And so usually what happens is when things are flagged that they're emotionally important they get transferred down the memory line into longer term memory. This is why emotion emotions and working memory are so intricately related. A short term memory is a super quick thing. Um it it's and usually things process through there first and then go into working memory and then into long-term memory. Fatima asks, does ADHD affect the ability to read fast? Example passing, reading of the IELTS exam. I don't know what that exam is. Uh I think that ADHD can affect the speed with which you do anything particularly in a ten of ADHD. Most people within a 10 of ADHD need accommodations so that they have more time to do things. Um but some people with in a ten of ADHD more time not to be helpful because they just, they still don't know how to use the time. So, we, it's a combination of having the ability to have that time. So, you're not so time pressured, but also knowing what to do in it. These are great questions, everybody. When you're taking medications, IE surtrulene alongside it, which is also said to have similar effects, how can you distinguish? I don't really know the answer to that question as I'm not a physician. Um, so that would be a question to ask a physician Kristin, I feel like my mind goes too fast to process things and I miss things. Yes, that can actually happen. That your mind is trying so hard to hold onto things. You're zipping around and you're not really able to, you know, sort those papers to take the time and so, one of the things that can happen with ADHD and this is at the neuronal level is that, you know, the neurotransmitter can out too quickly and grab the message and so there's not enough time that it hangs out in the synapse between the neurons. Sometimes, it hangs out too long in the synapse between the neurons and so, that's that's what the medication helps with. Kristen, but yes, just like the papers. Oh, great. Um Justin, is it possible to outgrow ADHD? About five to 10 percent of kids with ADHD outgrow it. Um what we find because the research very different on kids with ADHD and teens and adults. Uh what we're not clear about is if people truly outgrow it more than the, you know, the five to 10% or if they accommodate it and they learn to live with it more effectively. Lisa, what meds are used for processing speed? Again, I'm not a physician so I'm not comfortable making that that recommendation. It's generally medications that are used for all types of ADHD. Hi, Susan. Nice to see you here. Hi, Dar. I read this supplement, the supplement L theanine helps anxiety, attacks, and ADHD. Do you know about this? No, I do not. I'm sorry. Um Colleen, I had that exact dream last night. More and more kept coming before I dealt with the current paper. Colleen, that sounds like a nightmare. Um and and I think one of the things that we that we have to do when we feel overwhelmed, whether we have ADHD or not, is to slow the input. Because what you're, or your overwhelm is signalling that you can't, you can't with everything that's coming your way. You can't cope effectively and when we slow things down, it gives our bodies a sense to metabolize. It gives our brain a sense to regroup and pivot. Justin, I swear all my friends have been diagnosed with ADHD have have had a problem with addiction at some point in their life. I always thought there was a connection between them. There is a connection. Um there's a wonderful book called When Too much is Never Enough and it's about ADHD and addiction. You might want to check that out. Faiza, my mind always feels frazzled. Justin, it definitely helps me. I take it when I get anxiety. It also helps me with my sleep. It slows my brain down, okay? Fatima is daydreaming part of Inattentive ADHD symptoms. Yes, I spoke about that before. Um that that is one of the symptoms. That's sort of daydreaminess and that's actually one of the five overlooked signs. So, I'm going to go to that one right now which is spacing is distractedness. So, people with in a ton of ADHD are easily pulled to think about something other than that task at hand. The brain just sort of naturally drifts off. Sometimes, I call it going to Bermuda in your brain. You're like, you're in your class or you're at your computer, you're doing work, and suddenly, you're drifting off, you're thinking about lunch, maybe you're just looking at the snow, fall down, something like that that captures your attention. One of my clients called this, my teenage, one of my teenage male clients called this, ADL Attention deficit. Look, there's a squirrel. Um other clients call it, you know, the next shiny object. Anything that can grab your attention. Plus, many people with inattentive ADHD do have this sort of slower processing speed. So, they get more quickly overwhelmed and then, there's a kind of a shutdown that occurs. It takes them longer to sort through and digest information and so, this, of course, has nothing to do with intelligence. I'm going to say that 20 times during Facebook Live. But the goal is to sort of slow things down and give extra time for completing tasks or doing chores. You may also be able to use you know, if you have a smartwatch or a phone, something that can help you, you know, you know, kind of pull you back into the experience. The problem usually for spaciness or distractedness is is not just the drift because you don't notice necessarily when you're drifting. What happens is you notice when you come back and then there's a feeling of internal disorganization and maybe some embarrassment. If you're at a meeting and you miss something and then there's a sort of kind of a panic that sits in. Like, ugh, what am I going to do now or what did I miss and how can I catch that up? So, if you know that you get distracted and you space out, what are you going to do about that to plan for that? Do you have someone who you can who is going to take for you in a class or at a meeting. So, you can just listen and not worry that you've missed writing something down. Do you have someone that you can turn to and ask a question who understands that you drift off not because you want to but we can't help it. Someone who's an ally for you. Um so that's the second overlook sign. The third overlook sign is forgetfulness. And this goes back to that working memory question somebody ask So working memory challenges are commonly part of having ADHD. Whether it's inattentive or hyperactive impulsive. And luckily we live in a time with a lot of with a lot of technology. So you can use alarms and alerts, texting, and post its as as well as list to help with your memory. Use tools. This is a great thing. You know, I will notes on my phone. Some people like to do voice memos. Use your technology to assist you in remembering. Prepare if you have a kid to use a lot of queuing. But to also put up a list of what needs to be done and the steps of how to get there. If you just say go clean your room your child may not actually understand what that is. Um or if you say you know get your backpack. Put your boots on and meet me at the door, they're going to remember my backpack but they may not remember their boots. So, we want to help them by setting them up for success. Um if you, if you're, if you're trying to help kids remember things for their backpack in school, you might want to put a laminated list in the backpack of everything that needs to be in there that they can check before they zip that up and take it to school. Um using family calendars or a daily responsibility list or chart to guide kids through things to help them trigger their memory and see what's in front of them is very useful. You can use it for yourself. I keep my list of what I want to do today and then they can cross things out. And then I don't have to worry. Like what was that thing I tried to remember? Cuz I have too much going on in my head. And I'm prone to forget it. Um those these lists also help with improving organization, planning, and prioritizing. So let me take a couple of comments before we get to the other things. So let's see. Oh okay. Uh my 11 year old is diagnosed with ADHD. Uh my eleven year old diagnosed with ADHD is starting to struggle with sleep. Any suggestions? Um of course, you know, staying off of screens for, you know, at least I think for 30 minutes to an hour before bed depending on your child. Um the American Academy of Pediatrics has suggestions about that. Um having a clear routine, a sort of calm me down routine at night that they can slow themselves down with a bath or a shower and then some quiet reading. Something that kind of helps them transition to slowing themselves down. Some kids like to hear stories. Um you can maybe use Alexa to have them listen to music or you know asleep story. There are a lot of those on great apps that can help kids a lot. Um some physicians are willing to talk about using melatonin. That's something you could ask your prescriber. Judy says, I find that doing an automatic small motor task such as embroidery helps my ability to listen. In fact, it is difficult for me to even watch TV if I am not doing something with my hands. Is this common? Yes. A downside of this is when working with my hands, a speaker may think I'm not listening. Yes, I mean, I'm a knitter. So, I love to knit. You know, when I go to conferences, I like to knit because it keeps, it keeps one part of my mind kind of busy Um and then I'm not like tapping my foot or just doodling. Um I think that's a very common thing. I think a lot of people have different kinds of things that they do whether that's doodling or knitting or cross stitch or whatever it is. Kimberly ADHD does run in families. It in fact 50% or higher of of people with ADHD, kids with ADHD have had a parent with ADHD Um Patty, any suggestions on addressing sleep issues in terms with ADD? So, again I think that you you can come up with some settling your body down. A routines that would help. Maybe doing some yoga. Um you know just doing some quiet stretching, listening to some calming music. Uh things, you know, people with often who have trouble sleeping with ADHD need more time to settle and slow themselves down than people who don't. So, give yourself that time. Um Lori says, yes, she also likes to use her hands. Gio, I'm ADHD, Elfie and I caffeine is okay but not as good as prescribed meds. Diane, is mental defiance against managing ADHD part of it? I often feel that I just want to be left alone to be who I am. Yes, you know, Diane, here's the thing. Probably for many, many years since you were a little person, you got feedback that you weren't okay, that you needed to do something differently or better and and that actually is a voice that now you a part of you and you tell yourself that and so when people tell you that, getting it, you know, double or triple. And so, sometimes, you don't really want to hear what other people tell you, you should do to manage your ADHD. I think most people don't want to hear that. What they want is to get information and to collaborate on solutions, particularly kids, but also adults. Like, if you have a partner who says, I don't want you to do this anymore. You can do this better to collaborate on what might help you do it differently. You know, I think that that's really important. And then for you to sort of decide, well, you know, this is twenty twenty-two The one thing I'd like to work on this year with my ADD is this. And that's the thing I'm going to work on. And sometimes it's going to go well and sometimes it's not. But that's my goal. But if you have a partner or family member who has something they want you to work on, that's fine. They you can have a conversation. Well, you know, I'd like you to work on this and you can say, well, I'd like you to work on that. And if there's agreement, then you can that. But I think there's a lot of defensiveness because people are tired of being told what they should do according to someone else's standards. There are lots of comments and I cannot keep up with them. So, if I don't respond, please write it again. Mary Louise, they definitely accommodate. They don't outgrow it. If they outgrow it, then they must have been misdiagnosed. So many times, we're expecting children to have skills by a certain grade, a level, or ages, but kids develop at different times. For example, reading, emotional regulation, etcetera. I couldn't agree more I think that we have to understand that people are on their own trajectory and sometimes it's two steps forward and four steps back and sometimes it's two steps forward with no steps back. Everybody has their own path. Justin says he's on his iPad drawing. Thanks. Good to hear that. Monica, I have trouble focusing in conversation unless I'm playing solitaire or doing something else. So, Monica, one of the things that I'm curious about is that is it trouble focusing because there's that of your brain that actually is occupied when you are knitting or cross stitching or embroidering or doing solitaire, then, it's easier for you to pay attention. Sometimes, doing that task helps reduce social anxiety. Uh let's see. Um Are there any tips for retaining information? I love, for example, I loved acting but struggled to remember lines. That's a great question, Justine. You know, let me go to in terms of working memories. So, one of the things that can help with working memory obviously is repetition. Sometimes, it's putting an action to the to a phrase. Um so, I had a client who had he had who was taking Spanish. He had to learn Spanish. For each word, he had a special movement that he did to help him remember what it was. Um sometimes do it if you can try to if you're learning lines and you want to do it before you go to bed, right before you go to bed, to read them or practice them and when you first wake up, there's been some research that shows that retention is better. Um when you're actually giving instructions to kids, I encourage you to use the rule of three that I talk about in my book, my card deck, and my website which is you make eye contact, you state the direct and you have them repeat the direction back to you twice to make sure that they got it and that second repetition sends it down the memory line memory line into longer term memory. Susan Richardson, I'm not hyper more like, it's hard to wake up or in the afternoon, I need an afternoon nap. This is with a good night sleep. Inattentive, could be, it could be, you know, you just may be tired. Um, and I think that for a lot of people within a 10 of ADHD and some people with hyperactive impulsive. The sleep, wake, regulation in the brain is not quite functioning in the way you would like. That's very common and that has to do a lot with norepinephrine systems that have to do with monitoring sleep and wake, Uh sleep sleeping and waking. Um so, you know, I think it's just to know that this is common and if you need more time to wake up, give yourself extra time. If you need to get out of your bed by seven 30, then, maybe set the alarm for ten of seven. So, you have enough time to hit the dose button and maybe meditate before you get out of bed. Okay. Mary Louisa. I sent out a calendar each Sunday night for upcoming week of our family schedule for Monday to Sunday. Fantastic. Mayor Louisa, do people look at it and is it helpful for them? That sounds great. Cassandra, melatonin, and vetiver, essential oils help my daughter. Great. Lori, I see my son doing some of the behaviors that I exhibited when I was young. I hadn't been diagnosed and it's starting to feel like the blind leading the blind. I need to try medication. You know, Lori, I feel like if you see your child doing things, I can't tell you how many times I've talked to parents who see themselves and their kids and then read my book or read a book by Ed Hollowell or read a book by Sarah Solden or Patricia Quinn or Tom Brown or Ari Tuckman and come back and be like, whoa. I have this. This makes sense. Pfizer, can you explain a bit more about rejection sensitivity, dysphoria, and what can help with that? I can. I'm not there yet but I will. That's a rejection sensitivity. Dysphoria is a syndrome that we see a lot with people with ADHD where they're very very they become very they're very sensitive to criticism and they be, it can sometimes become very angry and enraged when they receive that criticism. They also hold on to things that people said to them they perceive as mean and cannot let them go. Uh Cindy, it's virtually impossible to get my ten-year-old office screen before bed. Okay, Cindy, here's what I want to say. Your screen, your your child's screen time has to be limited, has to be a connected, excuse me, linked to their bedtime. So, if they want, if they want to earn screen time for the next day, then, they have to cooperate with screen time the night before And I would be very clear that you turn off the screen way before bedtime. So that there's plenty of time to, to sort settle and do something else because it's you know, in my book, I talk about this, you know, easy on, easy off, easy to get on, hard to get off. I have some very specific tools for that. On my website also, so please check that out but I think it it's really important to link the behavior that you want to the behavior IE getting off the screen and going to bed to the privilege of earning screen the next day. Nice to have you Emma. Uh Leanne, my daughter is not diagnosed. She wears socks for a week to avoid issues with socks for school. Is this familiar? Not sure what you're talking about. Could you clarify, please? Christine, my list are not always there when I need to add something and by the time I get to my list, I forgotten about it. My phone doesn't help because it's not always with me and I can't keep up with the methods of how to use the phone that way and I'm not a fast enough typist and voice recognition doesn't work well. Wow. That's a lot of things that aren't going your way here. I don't know how to get back from Alexa and it's not handy. The only one thing So, you know, I think Christine, if it might be worth, you know, if you have a young person in your life who is willing to earn like, you know, an ice cream or a special or you know, I don't know, a gift card or something, you know, a niece, a nephew, a child, a neighbor. Have them sit down with you and help you use your phone more efficiently or just go to the phone store. That's what they're there for. There has to be a way for you to use one aspect of your phone to help you. I think that would be really great. ah I ah and can sleep apnea during childhood trigger ADHD or is it just a comorbidity and ADHD would have occurred anyway? I don't know the answer to that. I think that it would just be a comorbidity. Um I think I also wrote an article on RSD for attitude so you might want to check that out. Um Angela, when trying to diagnose my son with ADHD, he took a computer task test of some kind that indicated he did not have it. But after researching more, I know he has it. What should I do to get another type of evaluation? Okay, so those continuous performance tests. I think are relatively old fashioned and ineffective way of diagnosing ADHD. Um most of the agreement in the field now is that it's you it's a it's much more of a questionnaire, of a history taking, of filling out pencil and paper forms that identify and assess behaviors as well as perhaps doing a some cognitive testing. Um like the whisk or the Woodcock Johnson or The Waste and and some of those can include some some neurosight testing on visual visual spatial skills but the the CPPT, the continuous performance test, those who make anybody anxious and their their reliability, I I just I haven't had good. I over the years, I just haven't seen good results from it and that's certainly not what the leaders in the field are recommending. Cassandra, ADHD pass, task paralysis is real. be so frustrating to know what you need to do but just not able to do it. You know, it is true. I I felt like that today. I sat down and I like had to prepare this and something else and something else and I was like, ugh, it's gray, it's snowing, you know, what am I going to do? And I thought, I'm going to put on some music because that usually helps my mood and I'm going to stand up instead of sitting down which is energizes me. So, we want to try to identify what are some things that actually help you get started. I'd like to go back to my five top overlook signs of inattentive ADHD. So, the fourth sign is trouble listening or following directions. It may seem like someone is just not hearing you or someone may think you're not hearing or listening to them. So, you know, how many notebooks at school contain half notes and half scribbles or doodles. I worked with a tenth grader several years ago and she came in. She's well, you know, I'm missing stuff in my notebook like I take notes in class but then, when I go to study, I don't have things. So, I asked her to bring her notebook to me and it was really fascinating because there were, there were, there was a, you know, on the paper, there were places where she had written exactly what the teacher had said, and then there was a big space, and then in the side, there were beautiful drawings, she was very artistic, and then there was more notes, and so there was actually a gap, and this person did not have, what we have in the states called a 504 accommodation plan because she was doing pretty well at school. Um she got, you know, A's and Bs and so but she was very anxious and she would go home and it would and take hours to do her homework and so, I argued with the special education services that that actually and the law states that that's actually an education that you need on accommodation and so she started to get copies of the teacher's notes and or she had a note taker for her and that helps so she could listen and not feel pressure about writing something down. So, your mind probably drifts off. Um and so what we want to do is to use visual cues including banners, notifications, or other captivating images. There are all lots of programs that help sort of run something across your screen if you're on the computer that says, whoop, hey, come back. Pay attention. Um this is useful and would be worth you know, investigating. Um if you're not, if you're in a group and people are talking and you're not that interested in what's going on, you may drift off and then ask, you know, kids say, why ask what, what, what, and you know, where they say yes when there wasn't a question. So, this is when you want to have someone in a group that you can who's your buddy who understands ADHD, who won't embarrass you for asking who you can lean in and whisper to or you can you know, can say, can I copy your notes later? Um I think this is really important because it is hard to follow directions and listen in meetings when you have inattentive ADHD. So, instead of fighting it, we want to work with it and figure out what's going to help. And finally, the fifth the fifth issue, the fifth topic is disorganization. Now, a lot of people with Inattentive hyperactive, impulsive ADHD struggle with organization but for people with inattentive ADHD, it relates to feeling overwhelmed, okay? You have no idea where to begin and the end seems impossible. You lose your keys, your report, your homework. It's hard to keep track of your stuff. So, what you want to do are two things. One, make a specific place for things. Where does something live? Is really helpful for keys. So, for me, I put my keys in the same pocket in my purse every time I use after I use them because otherwise, I'll throw them in my cubby in the in the mudroom and then, I'll be, I'll take my purse. I'm like, where are my keys? I don't know where my keys are. So, have a routine. One of my clients was in college. She put a little shelf up next to the door. That's where her keys and her phone and her meal pass lived and her ID. Where does something, where something going to live. So, that's the first thing. The second thing is use Self Smart Systems of organization and this means something that makes sense to you or make sense to your child, okay? Not just the way you think it should be done but they don't do because they don't get it. So, for example, you know, if perhaps I worked with a girl and she was 10 and she wanted to have her clothes and her closet organized by color. So, all the purple things one here. All the green things went here. All the red things went here. Why? Because someday she would wake up and she's like, I'm in a red mood. I want to wear red. And there were all the red things. But her her parents were like no that's not how you do it. The tops go here. The bottoms go here. The dresses go here. It took two months of therapy to say can we just try this to see if the goal which was to keep things off the floor and keep the room needer would actually be accomplished. Seventy-five better. In week one, when the closet was organized by color. So, we want to ask our kids what makes sense to them. Um we want to ask ourselves, what makes sense to us? Do I organize by color? Do I organize alphabetically? How does my brain work? Okay? Um so, you want to use these systems and have places for things that are that people can follow. You can follow. Your kids can follow. They're simple. They're straightforward and they're logical to the ADHD brain. In addition, you want to set aside a particular time of day or day of the week for tidying up. I'm a big fan of evening sweeps. Everybody, you take five minutes, fifth, 10 minutes and everybody goes through the downstairs and picks up things. That are theirs and puts them where they need to go. Obviously, if you're a parent and you have children, you may need to supervise. You will probably need to supervise while you're doing your own but this is family sweep time, not the TV kind of sweep, the clean sweep and everybody's doing it, okay? You might want to arrange Saturday morning as a pickup, the floor time and you put your clothes away and we're going to do that together and maybe you sit on your kid's bed and you roll up their socks or maybe you have somebody on your on your laptop or your phone, a buddy for you, a friend, a cousin, a relative, a sibling, your partner who helps you, you know, put the stuff away if that's something that's hard for you. You want with organization that's key is creating routines and then writing down steps for yourself. Because if you look at your room and there's clothes everywhere you're going to be like ugh. I can't stand this. I don't know what to do. I'm overwhelmed. But if the list says pick up socks and underwear. Then you're going to pick up the socks and underwear. And then pick up the pants. Pick up the pants. You see? You've broken it down and it becomes less daunting. Offer yourself or your kids an incentive if necessary. When I finish picking up the floor of my bedroom, I'm going to allow myself to watch my show. Or when I finish, when we finish doing our clean sweep, we're going to play a game of cards. Something that is engaging and feels rewarding to them. Remember celebration, that fifth sea of mine, you know, which is about noticing and validating not just the completed task but the efforting along the way. Gamify See how long it takes, time it, you know, work towards a shared goal. We get this done by by 12 PM. We can all go out to you know, the movie or something like that. Okay. So, I've seen there's been lots of activity in the chat and I'm going to try to get to some of them. I know we're at four forty-four. So I'll spend a few extra minutes. So, let's see. Yes, this is recorded. Heather I realized you said you were eight. I really need help with sleep. I'm tired and then when I get into bed, I'm not tired. Help, help, help. Okay. So, Heather, I think what happens is that when what happens is you're tired and then when you get into bed, your brain starts going, right? You start thinking of things. So, you might want to have like a little notebook. Um so, you could write down some of your thoughts and then leave them there or you could take a shoebox and decorate it and make a worry motel. put your worries down, put in the box and the next morning you can open the box and pick your worry. You also might want to get in bed and do some reading or have someone read to you that helps slow the system down. You could ask an adult in your family or you could find something online that's a body scan that slowly helps you relax your body. All of these things would be helpful. Let's see. Um Dana, when getting tested for ADHD, I took a lot of different tests but they also sent a questionnaire to my best friend to see how she answered about me and how she saw me. Then, she mailed it back to the doctor so he could see me in that perspective. Till the day, I still don't know what the question was. They asked her but I believe it was helpful. That's fantastic, Dana, actually, because a lot of times, what people have a partner, they'll ask the partner, the evaluator will ask the partner to fill out some forms, as well as the person, but I love that it's a friend, it's a little less judgmental. Um Cindy, I don't like figuring out where to put certain papers. Well, that's up to you. You can do it however you want. Um but it it is helpful and accordion files are very useful for people with ADHD because you can make them as specific as possible. Um Number six, piles of stuff on Glad Services. Um I think it helps when we buy and you absolutely need buy in and so the way you're going to get buy in is by asking them what's important to them and what's and sharing what's important to you and hopefully there's some overlap and going that way. Um Christine says, I have started using a roll of masking tape and writing down appointments on it and sticking it to my computer which I look at every day. Yeah, I use post-its. That's the same thing. You should see the bottom of my computer is all sorts of inspirational quotes. Um Lynn, can drop something on the floor and walk over for days or even over a week because I don't notice it and I lose important papers because I don't remember what safe place I put them in. So, Lynn, I think will be helpful for you is to do that evening sweep where you actually look down at your floor and pick things up and and to have a use an accordion file to put a port important papers in and don't label each section but you label it. I mean, perhaps as you go. So, you can know they're in that file rather than in scattered in some other place. Let's see. Doom boxes. I don't know what a doom box is. Um I have several doom boxes of stuff that I don't know what to do with them. So I put them in a box and put it away and then forget it exists. I'm beginning to go through them and just throw the contents away because I realized I didn't need that stuff anyway. And it should have been thrown out to begin with. One thing that can help with organization and we can do a session on this is to have different like if you're doing something like that. To have different bags or boxes or so one is trash. One is keep. One is giveaway and one is uncertain. And so you can divide your stuff that way. And then and then come back to the uncertain pile. And maybe at the next day. Um let's see. Uh Okay, I'm going to have to look up on a doomboxes. overwhelm is a frequent recurrence in my life. I can imagine. So, what happens is for a lot of people with ADHD who experience overwhelm, they don't like organizational systems because they feel like it's like cramping their style or they have trouble following them but it is really important to try to identify one, maybe two basic systems and practice those for a while so that you start to feel confident that you can do it and you see the benefit of doing it. My supervisor, Kimberly, used to shame me for not being able to file all of all things, although she was, I was a project manager. She would say, someone with your education or IQ should be able to assign in character qualities to my issues. Shame, shame on her, Kimberly. Character assassination is never okay and the fact is that filing is something that's hard for people with ADHD. Um, it's, if they're going to be slower at it, and it's not particularly interesting So, there's there's not inherent motivation other than, you know, make the pile smaller or get paid or you know, not be judged. So, that that's not okay. I'm sorry you experienced that. Fatma, yes, it can be diagnosed at the age of forty. Um Um Christine, to help me sleep, I put on a nature video that slows down my mind and I drift off. I also view sleep videos available on YouTube and ASMR tapes. Thank you. Um Doom, don't open only move. Thank you, John. I love that. Did not know that. I'm writing it down right now. Doom. Do not open only move. I think we're going to have to do a whole thing. An organization and doomboxes tuned because that will be coming your way. Um how does inattentive ADHD differ to procrastination? Is it the same thing? It makes me feel lazy. It's not the same thing. Inattentive ADHD is the umbrella. Procrastination is something that's under the umbrella. So a lot most people with inattentive or hyperactive impulsive ADHD procrastinate. And they procrastinate because of perfectionism or avoidance or productive procrastination. Uh we've talked about that. There are couple of Facebook Lives on this topic on this several of them. So, if you have an attentive ADHD, you may procrastinate but you're not lazy. It's just hard to get started. Uh we are at four fifty. Uh thank you so much for
