The mission of the Inattentive ADHD
Coalition is to ensure that children with Inattentive ADHD are diagnosed by
the age of eight, and that adults with Inattentive ADHD receive prompt and
accurate diagnosis when seeking help. To learn more about our mission and
how you can help visit iadhd.org Linda Roggli: I'm Linda Roggli
and I work with women who are 40 and better, who have ADHD. I call it the ADDiva Network. I'm delighted to host three
people who have undiagnosed ADHD when they were kiddos and
diagnosed when they were older. They're gonna share their stories
with you and insight about what they might have wanted to happen
when they were kiddos and what did happen to them when they were adults. I this is Simran. This is I'm just gonna
let Simran talk first. What was your experience of
ADHD when you were a kid? What, stands out for you? Simran Deol: I felt like I always
had trouble doing things that other people could do very easily. It took me longer to do things that
other people did really quickly. My symptoms were missed because women
have a harder time getting diagnosed 'cause it looks different in women
than it does in men sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't. It just depends. I had trouble sitting down for too long. I would try and study as a kid. I had to get up every five minutes. My parents would always
be, "You just sat down. You have a test tomorrow? I'd be walking around and around the
house, quite literally around and around. I find it funny now 'cause nobody
clued in on that, that I couldn't sit down for more than five minutes. Yeah. I had some tendencies to fidget . But
a lot of it manifested itself in daydreaming and doodling in school. I needed to be doodling
to be paying attention. Teachers would often get upset at me
because ,when I'd hand something in it, there was no blank space . I would always
have to doodle 'cause my mind has to be preoccupied with something to do a task,
even when I sleep, my health was affected. I can't fall asleep, my brain does
not shut off and to fall asleep. I have to listen to the same episode
of the same TV show every single night for two hours and four minutes. Exactly or I cannot fall asleep. It's very particular things, but I
think the biggest thing that stands out to me is that I just felt very
misunderstood by everybody and myself. I just felt like there was always
something that I knew was different about the way my brain was compared to my peers. But nobody could point
a finger at what it was. Nobody thought that there was anything
going on, which sucked because I had to go all the way like that. Linda Roggli: When we're diagnosed
later, it's retrospective. We look back and say, "oh
yeah, now I recognize this. "Tell us about your diagnosis. You got diagnosed it 19, so yeah. What happened and what was your reaction? Simran Deol: Yeah. I was about to get kicked
out of my undergrad. I had a 1.7 GPA . My mental
health was in shambles. I was sleeping all hours of the day. I couldn't get off the couch. All of this, from my whole life, was
just piling up to this point where I'm , "Hey, I'm gonna get kicked outta
school now 'cause I have a 1.7 G p a. I didn't know what to do. Yeah. One day I went to class a psych
class actually and the topic was ADHD. I took out my notebook
and I started writing. As the professor was
talking, I was, "This is me. What she's talking about, this is me. I had this like aha moment. I called my mom and my dad ." Oh my
God, you guys, I think I have ADHD. I need to get tested. " I got tested and it was an amazing
moment 'cause everything made sense. I finally felt like I had the answers
to all of these questions that I didn't know about myself my whole life. Yeah, so it was such a relief
because I finally was " Okay, it's not my fault and I can forgive
myself for all of these failures. Now I can get the help that I need." After that, my life , I
just turned it around. I graduated and now I'm at grad
school . I've never felt happier and better than I have in the
last two years since my diagnosis. Linda Roggli: Oh, I'm so happy for that. You also had some learning
disabilities, right? Weren't there some diagnosed before
your ADHD or did it all happen at once? Simran Deol: Same time. During the psychoeducational assessment,
it came out that I had specific learning disorder in reading, writing, and math and
ADHD, which made even more sense 'cause there's so many things that that's ADHD. Why did it take me? A year to read a single book. I think it's so funny because I
would always talk about this to my friends or family. I'd be like, "oh yeah, I've had
this book .It's been six months. I'm only on page 50 in six months." And they're like, "what? I finished that in two weeks." " isn't it normal to take six
months to finish the book? " I had no idea. Yeah, everything just like made sense
and it's been amazing ever since. Linda Roggli: That's so cool. When you talked about walking around the
house, you go around and around, that sounds more like hyperactive ADHD, but
you were diagnosed with Inattentive. ADHD . tell me a little
bit more about that. Simran Deol: I can't remember exactly
what's written on my educational assessment, but I think I may have a
combined type with more Inattentive. That's what it is. If I had more of the hyperactive,
it would've been noticed more. But it's definitely there. It's just not as prevalent
as the Inattentive. When I'm in class for university,
my professors know that I need to leave the class sometimes. I can't sit down for a three hour class. I just wanna crawl out of my skin. I it's very difficult for me. My eyes start like feeling
itchy, like it's so weird. I need to just take breaks,
so I always sit near the door I don't interrupt anybody. I leave and come back
and leave and come back. I have a bunch of fidget
toys on the right of me. Yeah, always been there, but I think
I've had to mask it my whole life. When you don't have a label, then it's
harder for people to accept why you're behaving the way you're behaving. I always felt like I
had to mask everything. Maybe people never notice my hyperactive
side because I had to just sit there and like completely claw my skin
in because can't keep getting up Linda Roggli: Got it. Oh, that's so painful for a kiddo. It is so painful for a child or anyone
to mask themselves and to push themselves back so that they can fit into society. We make ourselves try to fit in. What was your parents' reaction? Because let's face it,
everybody missed this, .Right.? Simran Deol: When I told them
I wanna get the assessment, they were like very supportive. When I've had to mask
it for 19 years Oh wow. it would be hard for anybody
you're, about to turn 20. It was like a month away
from my 20th birthday. It would be hard for anyone. You've gone along in
life like you're fine. Then they see these stereotypical
versions of what someone with a learning disability or ADHD looks like in the
movies or just in conversation, and so they're like, "oh, that's not you. You don't look or behave like this person. " They weren't sure, but
they were very supportive. When I got diagnosed they were very
excited for me and they're very proud. What I appreciate about my
parents is they don't hide my labels. They're not ashamed . sometimes,
, unfortunately in Indian culture, I've met with family and friends whose
child might have a neurodiversity . They don't wanna talk about it. They don't wanna let people know. It's shame. It's a mental disorder. It's not every single person, it's
just cultural for some families. What I appreciate about my
parents is that they are so proud. During my undergrad graduation, they
helped me glue on "neurodiverse" on my graduation cap . they took so many
pictures and like tell everybody. So yeah. Linda Roggli: I'm so glad,
I'm so thrilled to have that. It says in your bio that you started an
organization called The Abstract Genius. Tell us about that. Yeah. Simran Deol: I've started it. The foundations are there, but I'm still
learning how to take it off the ground. I still need some more help with that. My idea is an organization, like a
community, to bring together any type of neurodiverse people, no matter what
they're doing or what age they are. People who are neurodiverse;
they're an abstract genius. You don't have to look or behave or have a
certain grade to be a genius or be smart. It stemmed from the idea that when I
was younger, I was never called smart. I never heard that. It was the opposite. And so now like I find it weird when
people are " oh, you're at Harvard. You must be so smart. "And I'm like, "Whoa!. I've never heard word before. This is so exciting. " But I want people to know that there's
more than one type of intelligence and there's more than one type of smart. There needs to be that
change in narrative. That's my hope in bringing these different
programs that I hope will take off. Linda Roggli: I got it. Yeah, we have lots of
ideas, that's for sure. We are full of ideas. Never a dearth of those, that's for sure. One poignant question I wanna ask you. If you could send a message back
to your younger self, what would it be related to your ADHD? What would you say to her? Simran Deol: I would say enjoy
the little walks around the house. Enjoy taking six months to read that book. It's okay. Don't, be so hard on yourself. Not the end of the world. If it takes you longer to do
something, enjoy that time. Once you learn how to appreciate
your brain, it's really fun in there. that's what I would tell her. Linda Roggli: Thank you so much. It's been great talking to
you let us talk to Aaron. I wanna introduce you to Aaron Croft. He also went to Harvard,
so he must be smart too. However, he says he struggled
for 15 years and then he had a wildly successful career, and
that was after you were diagnosed. Aaron, welcome. We're so glad you're here today. Aron Croft: Thank you, Linda. It is amazing to be here. Linda Roggli: So tell us a little
bit about your, history with ADHD. Maybe looking back to childhood and
saying, oh boy, that was definitely ADHD, but then bring us forward if you would. Aron Croft: I had the experience of
just completely going under the radar. I made it to 34 years old and
only I got diagnosed because like my life had fallen apart. I was broke, divorced, earning
minimum wage, and I was about to get fired from my eighth job
that I was gonna have failed at. How'd this go under the radar? What happened is that with Inattentive
ADHD, you aren't a behavior problem. I wasn't an academic problem I had pushy Jewish parents. I had older sisters who had already paved
the way with for me in terms of taking all the same classes, making notes,
building a relationship with the teachers. I had smart friends who would
be "Hey Aaron, let's study. Let's do this." those combined with the fact that
I'm a naturally good test taker. I did really well in high school. Yeah. Behind the scenes though, my
parents and even a lot of my friends saw what was really going on. The only way I could get myself to do
anything was to be in utter panic mode. What that looked like is doing. All so finishing homework just outside
of classroom, right before class started, doing all my studying the
night before a test, doing all my essays starting with a blank page at
8:00 PM the night before they were due. Then when studying came around for
tests borrowing other people's notes and using charm, doing all these
things to get other people to help me. And. It was just laughed off, right? Because I wasn't a problem and I
was getting good enough grades. And so they're just
like, "oh, Aaron's lazy. He thinks he's above the rules." I didn't read a book cover to cover. There were just a lot of warning
signs that we're just written off as Aaron's lazy, he doesn't care,
he thinks he's too cool for school. He doesn't need study habits
which was just not the case. Linda Roggli: Got it. A lot of us got by our
wits for a long time. Before it started to crumble. When were you diagnosed? Aron Croft: I was diagnosed at 34 and
I do share the story of when I was diagnosed, but I do always caution
people that this is not the way to get diagnosed and it's not safe,
it's not legal, all those things. I was about to get fired from my
eighth job and slash business. This was 34. I was a year off of being broke,
divorce and earning minimum wage. I'd managed to finagle my way up to
this new job that was paying six figures for the first time in my life. It was amazing. But I was in probation. The way I got there that first year was
I can operate when there's panic, right? My situation at 33 put me in panic mode. I was able to translate
that into action, right? But as soon as that goes away,
I was back to business as usual. They came to me and they were
like, "Aaron, everyone loves you. You say all the right things. It's just your work product doesn't
quite match up to the packaging and what you put out there. "I was like," oh goodness." They're like, "it's okay. You just need to stay late for the
next week or two and redo all the work you've done the past three months, and
then just resubmit it to the client." "No problem." I'm like, "wow. That is past my capability. I just literally told a friend that if
he doesn't give me some Adderall,.... 'cause he had mentioned it when we were
out drinking and I'd never even tried it, I'd never tried any ADHD meds..... I need this to get through the
week, otherwise I'm gonna get fired. It was purely just a desperation. I'm gonna get fired. Somebody help me. It was my experience with the medication. For the first time in my life I
was " oh, I don't need to be in panic mode or insanely interested in this
spreadsheet and this PowerPoint. I'm working on to be able to actually work
on it this is why everyone's so confused why I can't just sit my butt down and
work on something that I should work on. If this is making such a
difference, I should research ADHD." Linda Roggli: Got it. So you thought of it yourself then. It was logical because that
was ADHD medication that that connected the dots for you. But then, after that,
you went back to school. tell us about what happened
after you were diagnosed. Aron Croft: I'll, slightly change the
timeline and fill in little details but after I took the ADHD medication,
which is Adderall, The dose was too high and I actually really hated it. It was just such like a epiphany
that , "oh my God, it's possible to concentrate on command." I found a psychiatrist who diagnosed me. How have you survived
this long in your life? I'm like, charm and clever, clever ways
to solve problems when you don't have the skills to sit down and work on something. Prior to that.. So this was about 32.... shortly before the divorce I had
gone through graduate school. I had done a master's degree
in coaching psychology. Those two things combined were
really, if I look at like the failure and then a "v" inflection point in
my life, those two things combined really are what made a huge difference for me. The master's degree in coaching
psychology taught me that it was okay to make small steps and that
small improvements over time add up. That was a whole new model of change than
what I'd learned in all the self-help literature and all the pump- myself- up
with affirmations and visualizations and things that I could never keep up doing. It was like, "Hey, if you just make
small improvements constantly," and that was a, light bulb moment. Then the ADHD diagnosis gave me first the
medication and then eventually the skills to be able to start to unpack and unleash
some of that potential that I have. Linda Roggli: Okay. Got it. Are you diagnosed Inattentive ADHD? What does Inattentive
ADHD look like for you? ADHD is so diverse. . My ADHD is different from
yours and so forth and so on. So tell us how your ADHD manifests for you. Aron Croft: The way it manifests for
me, and with a lot of the people that I've served , is that I have all these
intentions and things that I want to do. I even have an idea or a plan or
a vision of how I'm gonna do them. I go to try to do them,
and it's just ah, got it. It's this intention meeting up with the
action where everything falls apart . I've been able to move past a lot of this. But what it looked like for
so long was just this.... If you gave me a month to do something,
I was incapable of making any progress up until the last minute, the day before
it was due, two days before it was due. Let's just say we did a 30 day month. Those other 28 days were just filled with
anxiety and stress, background anxiety and stress where I'd be avoiding my boss or
I'd be avoiding my colleagues, or I'd just be feeling bad about myself and feeling
like a failure, wondering why I do this. Maybe screwing up my sleep to stay up
late and finish the thing, or screwing up my exercise, or maybe 'cause I'm feeling
guilty I'm eating crap that I wouldn't normally eat and I'm watching too much tv. It ends up with just this spiral. And then, of course, I would do it. I would feel like, "wow, I'm so smart. This is great. I did it. Everyone's happy with me." But then I was like, "I'm
never gonna do this again." And then of course the next project
would come with a month deadline and I would just be doing the exact
same thing until the last minute. Linda Roggli: then the scary
part of that is you did it, but there's always that little
bit of fear, at least for me, of, "can I pull this off again? Can I continue to, depend on myself?" And once in a great while," no, I can't." then everything is revealed, right? It's horrifying., but I'm really glad. Thank you for mentioning anxiety because anxiety tends to be
associated often, as does depression, with Inattentive ADHD. Were you also diagnosed with anxiety
or was it a clean ADHD diagnosis? Aron Croft: It was a clean ADHD diagnosis. But yeah . Anxiety is a
absolute problem for me. it's really hard to say because. Especially as a male raised in
this society where I'm so trained at suppressing feelings, I don't
necessarily perceive the anxiety. When I look at all my behavior and
I look at why I don't go up and have conversations in social things, sure. Have I learned the skill of
being extroverted on camera, this sort of thing, fine. But that's different than a comfort
level with friends and new people and feeling super comfortable talking
about things that aren't in a more structured environment like this. Just little things like that. Little things, just there,
there's so many little things. The perfectionism, the self-doubt. It's just recovering from 34 years
of really self-blaming, self-talk. Linda Roggli: I'm glad you brought
that up because I really wanna ask you the same question that I've asked
everyone else., if you could go back and talk to your little kiddo didn't
know he had ADHD, nobody did, no support, what would you say to him? Aron Croft: You might've heard me
say this because this is something that I try to repeat a lot. I want it really to sink
in for a lot of people. There's nothing wrong with you. This is what I would tell
my younger yourself, right? There's nothing wrong with you. You just might need
different looking systems. Linda Roggli: Got it. And, yeah that's what
we all needed to hear. I think all of us here were
diagnosed later in life. That's what all of us needed
to hear . That it's okay. You're not a bad person, you're not
stupid, lazy, fill in any negative derogatory term because we have
probably applied them to ourselves. So thank you for saying that. That's really important. You now do some work with ADHD, right? Can you tell us a little bit about that? , Aron Croft: what I've done is
really systemize and teach what I learned over my journey going from divorce, a minimum wage to a
successful Fortune 500 career, and then a six figure business owner. It's this idea that one, we have
to work with our tendencies. Yeah. Rather than say, "look, I'm not
going to develop the level of grit that Angela Duckworth talks about. I don't care how many affirmations,
visualizations, meditation sessions I do, my motivation will not be reliable. I cannot demand on it and call on it. Let's just say"" I'm okay, right? I'm okay as I am. Then the step two was," if I'm not gonna work very hard,.... i, don't have much stamina,. I just fizzle out..... Then the step two for me was, "okay, I'm
gonna simplify this and nail the 8%. So I just simplified and said,
"look, I know there's things I should do for productivity. I know there's sleep things. I know there's distraction things. I know there's all these best practices. I also know that I hate rules
and structure forced on me." So I basically said, "you know what? If I just do one to two hours
a day really well, then I can be free the rest of the time. And so that was my second thing. I'm not gonna work 12 hours a day. I'm not gonna be overly productive, but
if I really focus on two core hours of peak productivity time, I can do that. Three was just building the
habits and systems around the core things that we need. And then four, which I just wanna mention
'cause I think it's really important, is once we do all that and we restore
our relationship with ourselves and our trust with ourselves, our ability
to go forward is basically what I call assertive accountability where
we can start to go out in the world. We can start to like demand
space, create space, say I need this environment set up for me. You can make requests of your
spouse, your kids, your parents, your friends, your colleagues. Just owning our our right to take up space
and our assertiveness is super important. Linda Roggli: Absolutely. By the way, his program is called Hidden
ADHD, so you can find out more about it. Thank you for being here, Aron I
so appreciate hearing, your story and your enthusiasm . I'd like
to move along to a dear friend. She is an ADHD coach. She's also a psychotherapist. She specializes in making a difference
for black women executives and entrepreneurs, and especially
for ADHD and black women as well. She was diagnosed in her fifties
and I'd love to hear her tell you a little bit about her story. Thank you so much for
being here, IngerShaye IngerShaye Colzie: oh, thanks for having
me, Linda, and you are my dear friend. Linda Roggli: Tell us about
your ADHD journey , please. IngerShaye Colzie: Fifty some odd
years, so I'll try to keep it short, which is not always easy with my ADHD. What's interesting for me is that
because I was diagnosed in my fifties when I was young, it wasn't
something that was even considered. It's not like it was something
that was missing, it's just you had to figure some things out. When I went into school, I had taken a
test to move up and not start at school where other people started because we
had moved into the suburbs from the city when I was like five or whatever. I passed the test that no one's passed
in 40 years, and then came home and told my parents all of the questions . can
you imagine that bar being set that high? Wow. Then when you start to set up like
learning to read, reading to learn, then I can't turn anything in on time. I'm always late. I'd rather talk to any other child
than do any amount of work unless it was the work that I liked. I was the teacher's pet just 'cause
I love the teacher, but doesn't mean I was gonna do any of the work. I'd stay up all night and do homework. I'm of that age where your
parents didn't help you like that. There weren't really tutors around .There
were tutors, but it wasn't like it is now. I'd stay up all night and I'd
still get like mediocre grades. That's what it is. It wasn't always easy for me to show my
knowledge on paper, but it was really easy to show my knowledge when I would
talk and that made it so confusing for everyone, including myself. I lived all of my life being very confused. It was confusing for me 'cause
I knew I could do things and there were things that I did do. I was very successful at certain things
and there were things that I could not do or I could not replicate to save my life. That's what was confusing. If anybody's heard me speak, they've heard
of my eight years of undergrad story, eight years of undergrad, no time off. Somehow I managed to do that and not get
kicked out and stay in for eight years. It was a long time ago, so my
parents could pay for eight years. Being in there that time allowed me to
mature and start to figure out my ADHD. We didn't even know that it was. It was that some teachers took me
under their wing and really said, "I don't understand 'cause you're really
smart, but you don't wanna do the things that we're telling you to do." I had a class where you had to wear
like a certain uniform in that class. I was like, "I'm not wearing that. It's not cute. Only twenties. It's not cute." a teacher who I knew she did
not like me 'cause I took that class like four times..... the fourth time she called me and she
was like, "I don't understand why you can't just do what you're supposed to do. You're really smart." This black woman teacher said,
"look, we don't have time for this. You have so much to give and
you're doing the opposite. I don't know why you would do that. All you have to do is
something that's simple." having somebody who I knew did
not care for me because , I wasn't easy to live with.... I was really like a, 15 year
old in an 18 year old's body. But for her to take that time for
me was like maybe I need to look at some of the things that I'm doing 'cause I was just not looking at anything. I was just going along my days doing
things I wanted to do and having a good time and not really understanding
why I wasn't getting any, good grades. Between that and when my father
eventually ... about the seventh year, was like, "you need to come home." I was at a phone booth having
this conversation and I was like, "no, I wanna stay. I think I have this figured out. "And I said, one more semester. Ah, then come home. The support of my parents I think is
really important . the thing about the Inattentive ADHD for me is that I didn't feel bad about it. I just felt confused. They never made me feel bad about it,
but they were completely confused. Yeah. Yet they were very supportive. Not many parents would allow you just
go back to school and try it again. Or even when you're crying
after seven years saying that. But when he said that, 'cause my
father, I do believe he's the one that had ADHD, he really understood. For him to say something, sparked it
in me that I gotta figure this out. Then I said, "all the things that are
working for you, why don't you do them? I could not type, and
this is the typewriters. I would do my paper and I'd give
it to my girlfriend to type. It would be a couple hours before
a class and she'd be mad, but I'd give her a couple dollars. But she would type it 'cause they
were not grading me on the typing, they were grading me on the work. I would have my friends come pick me
up okay, we're going to class, right? You guys are going to help me get there. I would find the smartest boy generally
in the class and become really good friends . Then they would help me study. Oh yeah, absolutely. I realized these things and
that allowed me to be able to actually get outta school. And then I brought these things, the
things that work for you, keep doing them. Yeah, I didn't really figure out the
things that don't work for you not to do, but the fact that I figured out the things
that work for you to keep doing them, I think is the reason why I was able to
do some of the things I was able to do. Now I got fired from a lot of jobs and
eventually I decided to go to law school which would not have been a good fit. But the girl who did my nails was like,
"you should go to manicure school. "'cause by then I spent all
my parents' money and I had to pay for law school myself. I got a job in the salon and then I
worked in a salon for 25 years, even after I became a therapist and a coach. You met a lot of people. It wasn't the same thing every day. It had enough repetition, but
allowed me to move around and all of my strengths were working there. If you go to salon, people in your
salon, they're your therapist. When I decided to become a therapist,
it's because I spent a whole lifetime of doing this literally. Yes. Literally. What's your strength? That's what it is. Being able to listen to
people and hold space. That equal up to being a therapist. When I was 39, I decided to
be a therapist, and then I got pregnant at the same time. I'm in grad school. I'm able to get through grad
school with no problems. Either being pregnant
or having a newborn... now isn't that different than
eight years of undergrad? It just goes to show where
you can have more of your why. By then I had a why. I always knew there was
something I needed to do. When I figured it out,
there was no stopping me. But I didn't get diagnosed
until my kid got diagnosed. Ah, he got diagnosed about fifth grade. I still didn't get diagnosed,
but I knew that was me. When they send those checklists home,
I was like, "oh, that's all me." Even though I was a therapist,
when I went to school, we didn't get anything about ADHD. If we did, it was a paragraph
and it was about little white boys falling outta their chairs. They never mentioned anything about
being an adult, but when I saw the rating scale, it was like, that's clearly you. Yeah, I got diagnosed when
I started to lose my words. I would think of a word but it
couldn't come out of my mouth. I was a therapist so that
means I talk all the time. I had heard when I was researching
ADHD for my son somewhere that it might have to do with your ADHD. I still had to drive about an hour and
a half each way to go get a diagnosis that I could use my insurance by
somebody who would give me a diagnosis. I say that because it's a privilege
to get diagnosed and I, don't think that a lot of people understand that
it's not something that's a right. And it should be your right
to get a proper diagnosis. But it's not. I never underestimate that privilege
of having that time, having the money and the resources to go so far
away to be able to get this done. Linda Roggli: I'm gonna pull you in
here just a minute because I wanna tick off some of the things that you've
mentioned . You said when you were in college you were able to do fine in the
classes that you were interested in. You also said that you were rebellious. I'm not gonna wear that uniform. That's our little
oppositional piece in there. But I also heard that you came up against
deadlines and it was procrastination., we can get it done if we have
enough pressure, and that's what your dad did for you. He said, one more semester and
then you gotta figure this out. Were you diagnosed with Inattentive? ADHD or combined? What were you diagnosed with? IngerShaye Colzie: I was
diagnosed with Inattentive. ADHD. I've always wondered if I had combined,
because I am really hyper on the inside. But I'm also diagnosed with anxiety. Ah, got it. There's always that part where I feel
as though, especially for women and black women, especially like ADHD
and being a woman ,equals anxiety. Absolutely. 'cause of the ways that we are
expected to be in this world ,and the things that happen. The pressures that are put upon us,
that aren't put upon other people. That I'm anxious because I know I on
some level I feel like I should be quiet and not take up space in this
space with everybody and, but I have these things that get out, so I better
say them all really quickly now. And I should make sure that my background
is perfect because it has to look perfect. Ah, because we're perfect
and I'm a black woman. I better show up here and
look in a certain way. 'cause we don't show up that way,
other black women will be looking to see what I'm doing Ah, more because
it's I can live well with ADHD and I take that really seriously. That's a lot of pressure,
which could make anxiety. What I have learned is that
I'm always gonna have ADHD. I've always had ADHD. I'm never gonna get rid of my ADHD. Yeah. I can take all these things on
and it doesn't have to be perfect. That feeling of anxiety is just a feeling. But it's not something
that has to ruin my life. it can go away. I could feel a different way. Being here with you, making me
comfortable, , makes it go away. Putting myself in spaces that make me
feel more comfortable help with that. Where does the Inattentive quote unquote
combine with the anxiety and other comorbidities learning differences. Yeah, I have a visual processing disorder. I'm sure I have a lot of
other learning disorders. Linda Roggli: My son is
diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD. I'm, diagnosed with combined
type ADHD, but I've always said Inattentive ADHD folks may not
look like the hyperactive person. We're not carrying our desk around
on our head and that kind of stuff and running around the classroom. But we are still
hyperactive in our brains. And, it has a lot to do with worrying
and ruminating and getting it perfect. I really appreciate that you have done
so much good work about understanding your ADHD, but also acknowledging it ain't going anywhere. It's here to stay. We can do all kinds of strategies
and still, it'll still pop up in unexpected moments. I wanna ask you the same question
I've asked everyone else. If you could look back and talk to
your little girl self , when she didn't know she had ADHD and you were
confused, what would you say to her? IngerShaye Colzie: I would say to her,
"it's okay to be confused," right? Some things I was right about, I
could connect those dots far out. We have those big ideas and we're
not linear in our thought process. I could connect dots really far
out and people couldn't see it." " And tell her," you were right. You were right. All the times they told you
were wrong, you were right. There's nothing wrong with you. There's everything right with you. It's just being in the spaces
that allow you to be who you are." I wouldn't change anything because
it did give me the ability to feel like I can get out of any situation. I can take care of anything. I know how to figure it out
'cause I had to figure it out. . It's just being with the process, girl. You'll be okay. Linda Roggli: I love it. Thank you. That's a perfect quote to end on. We got it, baby. We got it. Thank all of you for being here. It's just been such a pleasure being
with you today, and all of your stories are very different, but
all have that thread of Inattentive ADHD that comes through all of them. The more you learn, the more you know,
the more you can reassure yourself and perhaps your children as well. You can talk to your little kid
and say," it's gonna be all right." Katherine Ellison: I'm looking forward
to interviewing you on a future show here at the Inattentive ADHD Coalition. We're making a library of videos
of interviews with people with Inattentive ADHD as they talk about
their challenges and their successes. If you would like to be interviewed,
please send your contact information to www.iadhd.org/awareness. This has been a production of
Inattentive ADHD Coalition. Check us out at iadhd.org and see
how you help us by donating or by spreading awarenessof inattentive ADHD. Thank you.
