The Duratus Mind - Ep #27 - Geoff Thompson

okay um this morning on uh the duratus mine podcast i think i'm on episode 27 now um i always start with i'm really excited with who i'm going to be speaking to today but uh i i don't know what words to use because i'm super excited today if that's uh if that's allowable today i've got uh jeff thompson on the podcast jeff welcome to the duratus mind podcast thank you guys thank you for inviting me on it's a real honour no it's a like i said a minute ago genuinely the honors all mine um i'm i'm very excited to see where this this goes for for me and maybe maybe for you um so um i've received your um bio from um i guess it's your your pa um uh are you happy for me for in fact to get more authentic are you happy to kind of give an introduction to yourself for people that might not know who you are yeah well i'm um i was i would say that i was a budding artist until the age of 11 at the age of 11 i was sexually abused and put my put me right off track sent me really interrupted my life and sent me off track i thought it sent me off in a bad direction but as it turned out it sent me in massively into inquiry i wanted to understand why i was so divided so my life from that point onwards has been about exploring martial arts trying to become fearless climbing fear pyramids suffering massively with depression using depression as a doorway to the higher minds recognizing depression as a a messenger of hope rather than a harbinger of doom something that rises to either claim you or be claimed and i saw it as a doorway um that led me on to kind of um a hard end martial arts night club doorman because i recognised in the martial arts when i went into it that there was a massive amount of um dishonesty is probably unkind but people would people were um people had no idea what was real they you know i even i knew when i was 15 standing in a pub watching a fire kick off even then as a purple bout i knew that that what i was learning wouldn't work in that environment it was too chaotic it was too savage it was too spontaneous there was no room for any kind of defense having block encounter trapper encounter it was it was violent it was sudden i wanted to understand that at the age of 15 i got that but immediately dismissed it because i just thought who are you to question that you know you don't know what you're talking about you know get your grades first and then you'll understand so even as a higher grade even working with legends even working with gods they still told me that this this is how it works this is how it is and it was just a lorry um and i think people were they are they didn't know the truth or they were afraid to see the truth or they were afraid to see the truth and tell the truth a lot of the times because their whole edifice was based on the lie it was based on the illusion you know their livelihood some of them were running six and seven figures um they've got wife they've got families they've got kids going to private school based on you know based on this life so it's very difficult you think to yourself um somebody must know and you think you realize people do know they're just too afraid to um to challenge you but i was really a nobody in the martial arts but by the time i got to the second down which is supposed to be a high grade i was still terrified i was still afraid i was still well i was more afraid um and i wanted to understand that so part of my climbing this pyramid of fear to get some kind of desensitization to my endocrine system i became a banter and the first night the environment taught me god it was the environment it wasn't a particular person the environment said this is jeff thompson the environment is like an egregor it's like a corporation it's like the the energy of all the bodies there was greater than the sum of its parts and it was a being that spoke to me and the and the energy said this is jeff thompson this is where he is this is what he wants to learn this is the pace he can learn this is what he's able to um absorb and the environment said we'll show you what works immediately but you've got to let go of everything you know you've got to abandon it because what you know is going to get you killed and it's not an exaggeration you know four of my friends were murdered during my time with the bouncer in coventry where you could start a fight in an empty room you know it was that kind of environment you know so it was um the environment taught me what and i just thought god why have not been taught this you know the immediacy of preemption you know artifice being first um learning to climb inside people's endocrine system and control it with the use of sound um knowing where to hit knowing how to hear knowing how to finish somebody without even being physical with them you know knowing how to control my endocrine system and in doing so control their endocrine system knowing how to control crowds knowing how to knowing how to stand on the door in a violent city and guard it and at the time i didn't realize it was a a hugely metaphysical experience you would think that being a banter is a clumsy job for knuckle draggers it was the greatest metaphysical experience of my life because it taught me how to guard the mind door i know your podcast is uh is it called jarratta's mind greatest mind yeah spirit is mine which is about hardening the mind and toughening the mind isn't it 100 yeah and this was um you know the door taught me how to protect the mind door it even showed me the geography of the mine door because i'm guarding the nightclub i'm glad in the door of a shitty nightclub but actually what what it was really showing me was that that's not what's important what's important is your will and winning your will back and and i consider the mind and the will and the soul is the same thing so it's guarding the doorway to your will and this is this is clumsy and this is violent and this is ugly but this is how we're going to show you in very simplistic stick drawings how to control the mind or so the first thing i learned from that was um controlling this microclub door learning very quickly what worked and what didn't work 95 percent of my arsenal disappeared overnight and it's difficult because you know when i was going against the whole system i was going against the whole martial arts really because i was saying listen that stuff you're doing isn't going to work outside the chip shop on a friday night it's not going to work and you may die because of it i'm not being judgmental i'm saying to you you may die because you're not doing it right so i started to talk about you know what really did work and the environment taught me that but more than that what was really shocking with you know you're going on there thinking i want to find out what works and you find out what works really quickly and then you're knocking people out every night and it's so easy that you're frightened to do it because obviously for a little while you're dehumanizing people you have to in order to be violent with them and then the next day you're walking down the street and you see this monster that you've knocked out the night before walking down the road with his wife and kids and it's horrifying to think i knocked a factory worker out last night he's walking his wife's surveying his face i can see her and he's battered and that's what i've left with him and his kids are holding on to the pram and i'm mortified so what god started to show me or my higher self started to show me was that um these are real people you know and and violence has a consequence um and we're not really interested in you learning how to fix the world out there we're learning we want you to um trace back all those production projections to yourself to your inner self we want you to fix them from the inside if you if you forget about the macrocosm and come to the microcosm what what mohammed calls the greater jihad or the greater war we can fix this from the inside out then you're going to be of benefit to the world but to fix it from the inside out you've got to uh you've got to have the courage to go in because obviously i'm not saying it's easy to go out because you know we had like i said people people died in in the job i was doing people would have died around you in the world you were in it's very real the consequences are very real but as i'm sure you've already bumped into it anybody that's been at any high level of combat will eventually bump into this inner game where it's more frightening to go in because there isn't a terrain there isn't a map there's no arms there's no guns there's no big right cross you can't there's no you know you're fighting against an empty jacket yeah it's you versus you right yeah that's it so you're going in you versus you but also you versus all the squatters that are inside you because you're like um uh like odysseus coming back from the trojan wars after you know after these epic battles he comes back home to his kingdom in ithaca and realizes that it's been overrun nobody recognizes him he's a king but nobody recognizes him even his family doesn't recognize him and he realizes his kingdom's still there but he's got to win it back and it's an angry for waking up we go well i've got this kingdom but i'm not sovereign over it i'm getting battered every day by gossip i'm getting battered every day by too many mars bars i'm getting batted by sexual pornography i'm getting battered by judgment i'm getting battered by um you know my unqualified opinions i don't know who i am or you kind of when you wake up you know who you are but you have no authority so you have to go to war with all of those old concepts those old precepts those old that conditioning the more rays and you've got you haven't just got the weight of society trying to stop you and oppose you from doing that you've got according to christian murty thousands of years of conditioning forming themselves in this carapace and you have to go to war with that that's why it's worth getting up in the morning for and such an amazing challenge but very difficult so that's my journey from my life being interrupted at the age of 11 by a demon working through a teacher and i know why my life was interrupted there's positives and negatives it was interrupted because my dharma was to do what you're doing to stand in front of people and and um be a shepherd just say this is what i've learned i've gone through this door and i've gone through that door um and you don't have to follow i'm just saying you know i've i've climbed out of this burning building um and i recognize some people are still stuck in there and they they don't know where and i'm just saying this is the way out if you want to go out that way and and the devil bores nothing more than a shepherd so when you go out as a body damn map basically as somebody that tells your story of waking up there will be massive opposing forces and these these forces um interrupted me at the age of 11 to try and stop me from going out and exploring my story the good thing is that it set me on a path of inquiry that's led me through all these amazing places to this moment sitting with you now which is which is quite incredible i mean again people may not know the kind of because again it sounds like there's so much i want to say to what you've already said already but they it sounds like um your writings are born out of this you know choice to shepherd people by telling this story you know people may not know you the book that i first read of yours jeff i know i've just mentioned it to you earlier but for people listening watch my back um you know this was a you know became a after nominated film ray winston starred in it you know jeff's for those listening he's always all we've ridden 50 bucks plus yeah in a minute um you know penned multi award winning films uh for people like ray winston paddy constandine conceding orlando bloom james cosmo just to name a few and you know speaking about his martial arts he took it all the way to eighth dan you know and black belt usa magazine one of the most revered uh martial arts magazines there are out there you know describing you as the most influential martial artist in the world since bruce lee i mean what what a claim to fame and kind of pinnacle of um i guess ideal self that you thought you could have reached right i mean but you're still on this journey so yeah and interestingly you know you know it wasn't there was you know the people around me were much better martial artists than me what what made me different was that when i was suffering with depression and looking for truth i wasn't finding it the authors i was reading weren't telling the truth they are like i said the other didn't know it or they weren't sharing it and i remember thinking to myself when i find the truth i'm going to tell everybody because there must be other kids out there just like me because i knew what i was getting wasn't the truth even though it was promised on the blurb of the book and i didn't realize that i'd i actually i'd accidentally triggered on the the secret to the tree of life the secret to abundance is that if we receive in order to share with others there is no limit to the amount of abundance we can receive in information in knowledge you know and understanding and i and i'd i triggered them accidentally because i absolutely wanted to help people who were suffering like me because when you wake up at four in the morning in the cold sweat it's going to be a long day because because you're crippled by depression you're not the only person in the world that feels like that but the thing that broke me out of it was this thing about i'm going to find the truth or all the a truth and i'm going to share it and that's what i've been doing ever since um and obviously i didn't realize how painful sharing it would be and how frightening it would be because you know in order to share that stuff you've you've got to challenge the you know the you've got to challenge the the existing truth the truth that other people share you know what the masses share and you've also got to make yourself vulnerable because you've got to say i'm scared pretty much every day i'm afraid but i've found a refuge from that i turn inwards i go to the center i find my singularity my geometric point yeah you know we call it god i would call it god so i find that and i access the christ energy from that so i access this other dimension and that keeps me protected i think the buddhists call it the three jewels buddha dharma sangha so it's the teacher the teaching and the and the community so we place ourselves in the very center we make ourselves invulnerable by keeping ourselves in the light so when you put the stuff out there like we're doing this now and both of us would have experienced the searing of the soul in order to share this with about an anticipation because it's not because you're afraid of me or because i'm afraid of you but because we both know that we're gonna we're gonna uh we're gonna burn our animal soul in order to create this piece of work for people to look at we're aware that um was it um ethics the greek philosopher said those who learn suffer and it's very true because we have the volition of learning we have to burn up the parts of us that desperately don't want to learn and this is what we were talking about earlier on guys you know the devils the demons the the pain bodies the semi-autonomous thought forms that are in us that exist in us that we have to win over you know we have we have to win back all the territories of our own body and mind and then we've got to have the courage to surrender that will that we've won to our higher will and and start working in a binary world with binary intelligence and go quantum because then you know when you're working with god you don't know whether it's going to be a wave or a particle i've got no idea what i'm going to say next to what i'm going to do next but it always works out amazing but it takes a lot of it takes a lot of faith to to surrender to that to to entangle yourself with god and go i'm going to trust this i'm going to i'm going to connect to a divine sat nav and i'm just going to take instruction i i absolutely love it jeff um there's there's a lot of people going to be listening because i was probably one of those people six seven years ago that if you'd have started talking about god or gods i would have probably closed my mind i would probably switched off because of you know that's what the world tells you and and this is why i'm so excited because i'm i'm you know people that have got such authenticity in real living as yourself that i would you know look at and go wow that man has got a million experiences that has led him to this point that isn't something that's been preached to him from a child this is something that he's learned as he's grown well there's something to learn from that right and so i'm absolutely intrigued with that journey and again it started started for me with reading your book watch my back again people that don't know the book it's the story of your time as a bouncer on on a coventry nightclub door is it the most violent in europe something like that yeah at the time and uh you know i was i'll be honest i i mentioned this to you earlier i was drawn in by the image of you um you know squashed nose cauliflower ears like you've got now and a knuckle duster on your on your right fist and it was projecting this image of well i want to be harder i need to read this book maybe this man can teach me about uh toughness and and i i did enjoy the book i was i was absorbing lots of similar stories you know you're lenny mclean geroy shaw's at the time um and again i think within me i was trying to be hard i just joined the military i was about to join the military i knew i had to be tough i knew i was going to face things in my career that were going to challenge me mentally and and people that had um really been challenged by real threat much like you had you know i'd i'd done a bit of karate i've done a bit of boxing at that point but it was it didn't feel real and and people like yourself i could see had had truth and that's what i guess what i was seeking i didn't know this at the time but it was what i was seeking or certainly my version of what i wanted to see and then um i then bought a book of yours called animal day um a real small book i don't know if you can remember i'm sure you can yeah it's still out there yeah and again if for those people interested in mixed martial arts or combatives you know i read that before this is all way before the ufc had been invented and kind of um that kind of scene um but it was talking about a day where you and your teammates would just pit yourself against each other almost in a no hold barred uh style in a way to really test your skills and i was reading it thinking this is fascinating stuff where on earth can i go and do this because i knew i needed that to kind of prove to myself what i knew me and a friend of mine i'm still friends with him now fortunately we used to just glove up in my back garden and just see what worked and just we only had these four five ounce gloves that we could grapple with that we used to just you know do all sorts of damage to each other trying to because we were novices and you know i laugh about it now but this is where i was trying to explore and understand what worked and a kind of understanding of where your journey stopped and i went off and did my career which most people listen and have heard and i know we've we've spoken about it before the pod um and and more recently i've been reintroduced to you through again my continued journey of trying to understand what you've just been speaking about maybe in a more spiritual form um and a friend of mine jonathan payne who i spent a bit of time with recently um who's met on a number of occasions but then listening to your london real podcast which again anyone listening i'd steer you towards that podcast you did with the london real revered podcast in many ways and such a fascinating insight um and again i was i was drawn into that and again finally the last thing i want to steer people towards and i can put the links in the notes but your ted talk um was it levington spa um around fear um yeah maybe a number of years ago now but i listened to it a couple of weeks ago and i've listened to it a couple of times since one of the greatest ted talks i've ever heard because it just excused my terminology it just stinks of authenticity it's it's a man that knows what he's talking about and the the comments i'm i hope you've been through the comments on on youtube of what some people have said because it's so powerful how it's affected so many people hearing that truth i don't if you've got any thoughts on that yeah it's uh i can't tell you the adrenaline i had when when i was invited to do that talk i knew i was going to get i knew i was going to be invited it was one on my hit list of things to do i did 90 hours of practice to to remember that to to write the speech to condense my experiences into a 15-minute talk and learn it off-road and then deliver it i could feel the adrenaline i mean i've had people try to kill me and it wasn't as scary you know like people ringing me at four in the morning saying we're gonna shoot your wife and shoot your kids and it wasn't as scary as that it was disproportionate but i know why because i know that in the volition of delivering truth um we sacrifice the animal soul or they call it the animal sacrifice or the burnt sacrifice so our our negative parts are literally consumed in the volition of creating a talk with truth and i knew that if i was going to deliver a talk like that i would have to tell the truth and sit on the truth my new book notes from a factory floor is a painful concessionary of truth and that was god asking me to go back in again um go really deep dig down and bring out all the things i'd rationalized all the things that i've said were okay all the things that i've hidden in the bolts bring all those dead bodies back up again and allow them to be liberated in the writing of the book interestingly the moment i finished notes which is very painful because i had to look at the massive amount of violence inflicted on people my ignorance the affairs i had how i damaged my children because of my selfish and narcissistic behavior um you know i i kind of kind of go deeply into that and the the only way can get out of you is to completely and to clean and to liberate is to is to absolutely look at it and and accept it and own it and then you don't really clean it you give it over and it's clean for you but you have to look at it it parades by you you know and you have to watch every incident every violence every time you kick somebody's teeth out every shitty affair you had every time you was selfish every time you put your own kids at risk because of your selfishness it's very very painful but the moment i've finished it i finished it on the friday 150 000 words and it came through me in a rush it took me about six weeks i said to my wife i've been trying to write this book for a long time called the divine ceo and i just couldn't find it and i just said to me i said to her did the divine ceos come and i walked up to kumar in my local park and when things are back to normal i'd love to take you around there for a clean tea mean you could have a walk around there but we i walked up to an abbey in 20 chapter headings downloaded in my head like coins falling through water i wrote them down in emails and sent them to myself so i didn't forget on the monday i started to write the divine ceo which is probably the most astute book i've ever written because i didn't write it because it just because it rushed through me i didn't know i didn't know what half of it was um and i sat for another six weeks and wrote another 150 000 words which was the divine ceo which is all about creating a divine covenant so the ted talk was about what i'd learned it was a 15-minute concentrated talk on what i've learned about fear what i've learned about forgiveness and what i've learned about repentance it was the beginning of my journey with repentance and my my repentance started with forgiveness when i bumped into the person who abused me as a kid and i forgave him recognizing as i did it i had the ability to kill him dead because i was a lump i was a monster at the time you know i i got to face like 10 boxes and i was you know i was qualified in more systems and you could shake a sticker and i was confident i was knocking people out i had not i can't even tell you how many people i knew how to do it i knew i knew how to deal with this guy and i knew the moment i saw him if i did that i'd feed the parasites he left in me absolutely keen to describe that story but there's a few stages just before this that where you spoke in your ted talk about um it was a reinhardt messner's quote about you were living a life where you were you were too because reynard mester was climbing one of the 8 000 and and he was too scared to go up he was too scared to go down in the moment at that moment he was afraid to live and you spoke about how it affected you because although all this experience you had and much like reynard mesner you know an incredibly experienced mountaineer in that moment he was afraid to live and you had all this experience in your life but you were afraid to live because of this trauma is that right that you experienced as a child um and again again how when you're seeing this guy um because you built this here can you talk about the fear pyramid on the back of that so you're right to live and and how you overcame that fear to live yeah i had i kept suffering with massive depressions i didn't realize it was it was a displacement from this um you know from this abuse when i was young i didn't realize that this guy hadn't just abused me and groomed me he'd left a parasite in me um he'd taken something from me he'd taken my autonomy my will he taken my um my soul or part of my soul and he'd left a parasite in his place and that parasite he was one of your um first martial arts teacher yeah someone you trusted oh i loved him i idolized him i was a kid i mean i absolutely idolized him and i was the star of the class you know i was i was going to go on and do all these amazing things and you know and after this abuse you know i was kind of kind of pretty much thrown out abandoned so it left me with the tremendous schema confusion dissonance a tremendous amount of pain and suffering but mostly dissonance i didn't realize until much later that he'd left this parasite in me this um belief so he basically um hijacked my will that's what you know that's what abuse is it's like a possession and the only way to get rid of a possession is with an exorcism and the exorcism is what we're doing here now this is an exorcism we're talking about it we're bringing it to light and what we bring to light becomes a light so this will go out and this inspirational talk we were doing between us will go out and be a light for the people hopefully so i recognized that he'd taken something from me and replaced it with a belief a cognition that nobody could be trusted that the world couldn't be trusted that your family couldn't be trusted especially your family especially those you love so every decision i made from the age of 11 was conditioned by that one incident i didn't realize it again it was all unconscious but i built i got all of this war paint all over my body i got i was a pretty little kid i looked like a girl i got rid of all that um i got my ears cauliflowered and my nose broken and i've got my back is massive even though i'm a lot slimmer now i was i went up to about 16 stand i've got wings on my back um and i could kill 220 and i could punch like a professional boxer i mean you know so i built up this armory i learned all of these different skills but inside and the very center was still this um this 11 year old frightened boy um and that little frightened boy would would come out in psychotic jealousy deep insecurity um violent displacement um you know a fear of the world if i could solve it within the fifths i was fine if i could hold a pair of focus powers i look like the most confident person in the world but there was no center there and that's what i was starting to realize i was starting to i was starting to see that and i realized that if i was going to really ever clean myself and find my center and reclaim my kingdom in the old testament the word uh the you know when they talk about enter the land into the land of milk and honey enter the kingdom um the the word land comes from the root word will so it's saying enter the will claim your own will claim your own mind when you've claimed your own mind you can surrender that to the higher mind so i haven't got my own will because i abused myself and sexually abused myself and physically harmed other people because i didn't have that will it would this insecurity would take over this list for um pornographic sex or for violence would take over my body i have no control of it and suddenly i'm left with you know three or four unconscious people around me or i've abused myself and i am steeped in shame and not more from the confusion because i don't know what's going on and this was all going on you know especially the self-abuse was going on secretly in my mind and it's because this guy it's a bit like quantum entanglement he'd entangled with me at the age of 11 and even though we were separated by um by 20 or 30 years and by by a lot of space he was we were still one you know we we were not we weren't discernibly different he was in me and he was acting through me i didn't know that and the only way i was going to get him out was to understand this and uh and to forgive him so obviously this i've forgiven this guy and i gave him back over to reciprocity and i watched the damage it did when i did it i watched him literally fall apart because he could no longer feed off me he could no longer entangle with me i'd separated that feeding tube and pushed him away so he wandered off um and a few years later can you tell us about that that moment because you saw him in a cafe didn't you jeff and you were like yeah this is this has been set up for me to do something with this now and again what did you feel in that moment well i'd i've been very violent as you know guys and i've been in a lot of fights and i've been and i was starting to humanize people um i i'd nearly killed a few people and just had such remorse because i wasn't even that i was afraid of losing my liberty i was i actually innately knew i was losing my place in the hereafter i knew i was i knew i was going to fall into an abyss if i kept doing it so i recognized i had to let go of the violence and um sorry just bring me back to where it was what was what was i just lost my other thread you saw him in the cafe so you saw him in caffeine how and what the emotions you were feeling in that moment and how did you control that to then go and confront this this demon inside i recognized that i gotta let go of the violence that that was feeding the parasite in me and i started to talk about budo i started to talk about forgiveness from a place of understanding as a giving over and i started to talk about it as a metaphysical power so of course the universe organized it so that i was sat in a coffee on a sunday morning on my own and there he was i hadn't seen him for maybe a couple of decades and i looked across um and i was like i said i was a lump you know i could have a fight but in that moment i was 11 again and i recognized beyond my rock behind my without my right cross you know without my fighting ability there was nothing there unless i was able to go across and forgive this guy so i've been talking about it and the universe was saying this is your chance to enter into the greater battle the greater war and this is just the beginning of it but i felt like i was in a dugout um and i felt like i was climbing out with a bainit and going into no man's land that's how it felt psychologically i absolutely was trembling i felt like i could either explode in violence or just burst out crying i wanted to walk away but i knew of it did because nobody would know but i would know so i had this opportunity um and of course i was steeped in the fear pyramid so i just thought my experience told me that if i can if i can intercourse with this fear if i can absorb 99 of it the fear will be liberated and all the effort that's in it will come over to me i'll reclaim that part i couldn't articulate it quite like that at the time anyway i walked across and i stood in front of him and he looked up at me and obviously he didn't recognize me it was a long time ago and i just said you don't remember me but uh 20 years ago you sexually abused me um and he went to stand up and i said sit down there was a command i said sit down and he sat down and i said you my life i said but i want you to know that i forgive you i forgive you um and he he just kind of fell apart he was disheveled and i just walked away i felt a relief as i went to walk away he stood up and put his hand out and his fingers were trembling like that he wanted me to shake his hand i couldn't articulate at the time but i knew what he was saying he was saying let me go give me over he was accepting my forgiveness which means he was saying i'm gonna let you let me go and then i can i can face reciprocity and you can go away and heal and i knew that if i didn't shake his hand it wouldn't be a complete forgiveness and i'd have to like siddhartha said i'd have to if i don't do it in this one moment if i don't complete it i'll have to go back and do it all over again and i didn't want to do that so i shook his hand and moved away and i realized then i felt very proud and very i thought i've done it i've overcome it and i felt this expansion but i also felt a quiet conceit because i suddenly realized that i was so occupied with revenge on this guy so occupied with what i could do to him when i met him but that i'd i'd use that as a as a darkness to cover all the things i've done wrong myself i've got so many things i've done right i didn't need to concern myself with his punishment i needed to concern myself with the fact that i'd been violent for the last 10 years i've had affairs i've been dishonest i was a criminal for a while i was a you know is to drive around for the kiters and and guard them and and you know with my lack of intelligence rationalize it you know i've done pretty much if i had been if i'd been around at the time of moses it probably would have been an extra commandment and it would have had my name on it so i've done everything wrong and when you when you saw him in the cafe you said you said to him because i've heard you say this story a couple of times now and you you said i forgive you and you said i forgive you twice you aware the the significance of that each time you tell it you sell it you you say it twice yeah i knew i knew that the first i felt that the first time was for him and the second time was for me with me saying i definitely definitely i'm gonna forgive you so i said to him i'll forgive you and then i said it again i reiterated it i wanted to underline it i didn't understand rather to speak but i wanted to i knew i knew there was a force that would deal with it by let go of it in in the military uh we have a we have a sequence and a set to uh to orders whenever we're going out and we're going to do something there's this process that we go through and everybody knows at this what set time what important information is going to come across and the mission which is arguably the most important thing that we're trying to do is the only thing we say twice and we always say the mission twice because we highlight its importance because that's what sets our boundaries for what it is we're trying to achieve so that when things go wiry afterwards and things are going maybe a little out of control or aren't as planned we can reset to what the mission was because that's clear in our mind as to why we're there um and and i see similarities in that with you with yeah you're saying to him i forgive you i forgive you you know and you said sit down as a command it was an order to him because this this was for you to do what you needed to do i see so many similarities in them yeah because it is obviously it's the you know it's the greater battle you know it's the greater war it is a war we are at war with these parasites that are in us you know these these beliefs these abuses so it is a war it is it's a war without without arms budo means without arms but it is no no less a war and the the command when it when i spoke to him it was i was certain there was a certainty in my command i certainty in islam they call certainty you're keen and it's an attribute of god it's actually got so much power that it contains an element of absolution or the absolute so when i when i said sit down it was a command he had no choice and i recognize through this i recognize certainties i recognize my own center and i recognize you know again afterwards because i've kind of educated myself on it i recognized that he'd taken something from me and that the only way i was going to get it back was was going to be to a higher frequency to a higher power and that was forgiven so that was for me to understand dharma to understand law and to say um [Music] i know that you i know that the moment i let go of this you're going to have to face the consequences of this um and so i let so i was able to let go of him knowing that would happen later on i understood the significance of that and i understood why he later went and committed suicide because he was facing the consequence of his own actions and then of course i had all my own stuff i had 10 years of atonement and repentance myself because even though most of the stuff i did was displaced i still did it it was still stored you know even more spin even my skin was speaking a testimony against the things i'd done so i had to go back and look at them i had to um young calls the individuation have to go into the unconscious bring those things back up into the light and it's not just that we release them or that we bring them into conscious knowing they become a light when you look at the bible thing where it says what we expose to light we always go what we expose to light becomes light it doesn't say that it says what we expose to light becomes a light so when we do a talk from certainty that is a light yeah so you put that light out there and that light once we've done this podcast or a book um or whatever it is and it's got truth in it or a ted talk once you've put that out there that is a light forever yeah now i connect with that there's a couple of things on the back of that because you've spoken about this with your baftas you know you you've been impresented whether it's to schools or to audiences and you've taken your physical bafta and people have questioned that but that that bafta is your truth isn't it this is the demonstration of what you're saying is authentic because this journey you've had has led to this bafta it's like a british oscar and you know for me my my truth is my my journey through my career which so so few people on the planet have experienced and i don't say that it's from a place of anything but humility really that i know that my experiences are fairly extreme but fairly unique and but that's my truth and i feel like well some of that truth needs to be shared because that's the that's the understanding that i've learned and actually you know if you listen there's a there's a common thread to what i say because i feel like it's it's authentic and that's the same with with yourself on to a to a much bigger degree um so you know there's i connect with what you're saying uh on that level but also what's what's interesting to me your your abuser you said he he committed suicide didn't he i mean there's um again i think of this story of judas when that with how he betrayed jesus he realized from his own sins that he couldn't live anymore once those those sins of his had become real to him yeah you know giving away jesus for a few pieces of gold and he committed suicide and so um your abuser did the same on on all this coming to light and it wasn't just you it was a number of people a number of kids yeah yeah and and how did that make you feel how did you deal with that well the interesting thing is um i'd forgiven him and obviously i didn't realize at the time sometimes you know forgiveness is a process there's still residue in you there's still bits in that that needs to be looked at so sometimes we have to forgive several times much has to write about it or talk about it several times until it's gone so the idea of of just doing it once it although it freed me to start working i i needed to do it again and again so all the books and all the talks each time i do that um it helps me to forgive more and to clean out a little bit more but every time i come to do it i don't want to do it so when when i was watching a film by my friends the shimane brothers in london and i leaned into my wife and said this is great i said can you imagine what they do with one of my scripts anyway one of them come up afterwards and said would you write a film for us and i said yeah i'd love to do something for you would you do that handshake film and i said what handshake film they'd obviously red watch my back and they'd read that i'd met my abuser and shook his hand and forgave him and i said oh you know i said i've done that i can't i can't go there again i can't go there again um i said if you get me some money raise some money and and get me some money and commission me i'll i'll have a look at it but i knew i was sabotaging myself within about two or three minutes the fear in me was there and i said to sean i need to look at this again so i went over and said to them i'll write it for you let me write it for you so i wrote it and i did it as a as a spec script but the interesting thing was that as i wrote it i wrote i kind of um it was an amalgam of stories based on my arc and as i wrote it down um the abuser became a priest and i kind of related it more back to um uh you know to more of a fictional arc but in but in the um in the script that was directed to me that was given to me um the priest committed suicide set himself on fire and this is in romans 12 20. so we commit to suicide but the guy that abused me at this point hadn't committed suicide he was still about you know and then the day i finished the script guys the day i finished my wife said have you seen this in the paper and i said what and she said that guy that have used you was uh he'd just been arrested by the police um for historical crimes in the 70s he said correctly that's a bit of weird term liberty about two weeks later probably we were starting to cast it it was moving quite quick um and i was talking to a friend of mine on the phone and his son was going to play the part the young the young lad in the romans 12 20 and he said oh did you hear about so-and-so now this guy didn't know about my abuse he didn't know about that he didn't know about who who he was he decided to hear about so-and-so from the boys club i said no you know we committed suicide so the day we were going in to shoot the the script that i'd written which had been fictionalized became true it actually became true when we were screening it in london it had a profound effect on people i remember sitting at the back of the audience and all sorts of amazing things came together the money came like that we got 30 grand right back to make this short film and i assume that doesn't often happen like that jeff no but the money just came everything was supplied lisa gerrard who did all the music for gladiator and the inside man let us use her music free she said it's the best use of the music she's ever seen without the screening and was watching the film and at the end of the film this huge lump stood up at the front of the audience massive guy but this must be six six five you know 18 stone uh black guy really handsome but really muscular and he was bereft and he just headed towards me and as soon as he got to me he just hugged me and he didn't let go for a long time and he said that's me that's what's happened to me he wrote to me about two weeks later and he said i went to the police i reported this historical crime and in the time since i last saw you the guy that abused me has committed suicide so it started to have all loads and loads of those stories and if i thought that was the end of writing about it i was mistaken because there was i wrote about it and i did this film with orlando bloom called romans which is i'm looking at it from i'm looking at it from all sorts of angles i'm i'm like a like a pin in a crab shell getting the last vestiges of this sin out of me this um this error this parasite that is left in me and each time i've written it i've learned more i've understood more i sat with orlando bloom for a whole day and you've gone what does this mean well i mean literally picking it apart and i can't honestly guys i can't tell you i was i just wanted to go home i was mesner i just wanted to be with my wife i wanted to be back in coventry i wanted to be walking around kumari on my own in nature and he and i just kept thinking i can last an hour i can last an hour i could i'll just do two hours we can get through the script in two hours and orlando bloom is a consummate professional he wanted to know every nuance he wanted to know every purpose every intent why is he doing this why is that happening why is he abusing himself what's he looking for and in the end i just said to god i'll stay as long as you want you just tell me i'm gonna stay as long as i want we ended up being there for about about 10 or 12 hours and it was an interesting thing because when it's all allegorical but when we went to orlando's house we went down these weaving paths it was like we were going into an underground batcave and it was his place was hidden in the middle of nowhere and he had a chef with him and he had a personal trainer and it was i know i've not really spoken about this before but they they were beautiful men they were like angels it was a weird experience and i knew i knew it was the ultimate kindness that this beautiful man and these amazing directors were saying let just help you bring out a little bit more because some of that parasite is still in you bring it out keep bringing it up it took so much it took everything i've got to write that film but at the same time i was being asked to do a ted talk about it and i was being asked to work at the national doing a play and guy ritchie had been in touch with me and asked me to come and talk on his documentary about fear and the ego all at the same time and it was just you know i mean i was literally burnt out yeah i was absolutely drained but if you know i would say it was a a kenosis it was a controlled kenosis and there were beings helping me through it and afterwards i was built back up again so i disappeared for about five years um and you know i'm a new man all that old stuff went so now i'm i'm seeing things clearer um what you what the what the christian mystics would call deep seeing deep hearing deep feeling deep insights i'm not just seeing ordinary people i'm not just hearing ordinary things sometimes i've been with people guys and my deep hearing allows me to hear their thoughts you know and i can look at somebody and i can i can see the spirit behind it i can it's like i'm looking at something that's binary and the deep seeing not all the time the deep scene allows me to see the quantum it's not a wave it's not a particle it hasn't formed it's not a good person it's not a bad person it's not light or dark it's not good or evil it's just a bundle of energy and that energy what that energy the form and the aspect of the energy will be determined by my observation of it so my observation of it has to come from a place of kindness up from a place of love and we know that's not easy because we all get tripped up every single day when we're shaking our fist at the telly you know our imperfect self comes out i i listen to um i share with quite a lot of people i talk to as as clients um i i coach and mentor a few people that's that's part of what i do jeff and um um again partly for them and leaning from my experiences but for also for me to learn how to help people from from my experiences right and uh i i share with them quite often what you just described there tony robbins is the big american life coach i don't know if you've ever met him or know of him but he knows him yeah yeah he uh he talks about six human needs and uh i i it connects with me on a number of levels to the point where you have an understanding of what these you know he's talking at it from a place of having spoken to millions of people whether through it's his um live shows or through online um he's connected with millions of people and he's distilled their needs down to about six things that's all it is anything that you have and we're not talking physical needs like water sleep uh food etc talk about emotional needs um you know anything that you want or desire it can basically sit in one of these these needs and when you understand what those are we can start to do something with them and i share this with people and it connects with people and to the point where you talk to people when you know this and you can see what their needs are and where they're aligning to and and you know not so that you can try and help them if they so wish that they can talk to you and you can help steer them and guide them towards they can get true fulfillment and the true fulfillment as i hope we come to know is that contribution to others where we you know what our experiences have taught us is actually better shared so that other peoples can learn can gain from that rather than we just hold this knowledge inside much like you said you know shining that light is is important so that other people can see truth authenticity all these things and i hear so much of what you're saying there's just it's just uh intermingled in all of this it's intertwined as as you said entangled sorry as you said yeah entangled yeah you're uh your divine ceo uh bachmann you you said you you ended up it couldn't come for a long time but then it came in in a really quick period of time do you want to talk to people about your book the divine ceo yeah um first of all before i the reason i couldn't get it out guys was because there was too many obscurations the buddha says that there are no problems the only problem is believing that there's a problem but he said there is a clear view and the thing that blocks the clear view is obscuration so it's basically saying some parts of us are occupied by old beliefs you know old perceptions you know by damage by wounds by schemers and we've got to in order to get a clear view we have to go in and individuate those um so every time i tried to write the divine ceo because the title was there and i've spoken to an agent about it and he was really keen on it but it just wasn't coming through every i wrote at one point i wrote about 35 40 000 words and it was just rubbish i just looked in and thought this this is just not it so i didn't realize at the time i had to clear this stuff through before it before it could come to come through me and the clearing through was the atonement or the repentance so i had to make my way back to the center so if you imagine repentance means to return to god it means to return to center or to find refuge or to repair so i had to i had to from where i was at to turn even more acutely towards the center towards this still point but between me and the center with these observations and these observations were all the things that i hadn't owned all the things that i hadn't written about you know you can't have 10 years of violence and then just go i've had a moment of clarity so none of that matters it's still in the plumbing so i did have a honeymoon period after my first epiphany i was invited to teach for chuck norris in las vegas and i come back had a moment of clarity and i was floating for two years there was miracles happening around me people were being healed in my proximity all sorts of amazing things were happening that was the honeymoon period and after that this voice came and said now we've got to do the work because all that stuff's still including the we've shown you what the potential is but that stuff's still in the plumbing and we need to get it out we need to reclaim all these parts of you you can't surrender your will to god if you haven't got your will your will still partly owned by all of these covenants with other things so i started after i wrote notes which was the kenosis the emptying the divine ceo had room to come in so literally a hundred thousand hundred and fifty thousand words just downloaded pretty much as quick as i could write them and it was one of those very rare books that once i finished it and polished it there was no uh there was no edits on it it very rarely happens because normally you know a lot of edits a lot of stuff that you'll miss out but it just came through me i knew it i knew i knew what to say but i've not known it before it wasn't it wasn't the divine ceo that i was trying to write it was the divine seal that wanted to be written so i would say that this was a gift from the dove we get several gifts when we experienced the dove the heavy dove or you know this kind of awakening this opening or this christ energy so it was coming true and the divine ceo is a beautiful book so esoteric and i know it's beautiful and the feedback from it's been amazing but i didn't write it so i'm not taking credit for it i'm taking credit for the fact that i sit down i sat down and had the discipline to write it but i didn't know any of this stuff so the divine ceo is about what we're saying it's about um first of all recognizing um you know if you're depressed or you're fearful that's that's waking up we're awake but we're aware that we're not um we're not sovereign in our own kingdom so we have to go back around and win our kingdom back we have to win our will back the kingdom is the will the kingdom to god is the will if we seek the kingdom seek the kingdom and all good things will come to you or seek the kingdom and his righteousness and all good things will come to you so first of all seek the will so i have to win my will back and that's what the divine ceo is about it's about recognizing depression and fear as a messenger of hope not a harbinger of doom understanding dharma understanding law understanding this is the world of causation we can either keep acting unconsciously and keep getting the boomerang of karma hitting us in the face or we can start recognizing that what we think and say and do will return we pay for everything but also we get credit for everything so once you realize that you recognize that it's only the negative parts of you that are creating negative karma they incarnate yeah we get we get a rush of rage it rushes the mind or it takes over us we do something inappropriate in the world or a rush of passion and then it recedes back and then you know like the respectable respectable uh dr jekyll he's always having to pick up the bill for the disrespectful mr harris so we have we're constantly having to pick up the bill for parts of us that we um that we think are us but they're not you know they're they're semi-autonomous negative thought forms that we haven't cleared so the divine ceo is about hunting them down as rumi says becoming night travellers hunting down these aspects of ourselves that aren't kind but aren't connected to kindness and either ousting them or converting them better if we can convert them because then they become oil for the lamp so we're aiming to convert them the moment we expose them when we sit in front of them the moment we have the courage to stand in front of the demon and the word demon comes from the word divide when the self is divided and divided again the the word demon comes from that so we divide it several times we're occupied by lots of semi-autonomous thought forms the moment we start to reduce that and the christians call it apophatic theology we don't know what god is but we know what he isn't so if we reduce all the things that aren't god we're just left with god if we reduce all the things that aren't us the unkindness is we will eventually shrink back to our geometric point to our authentic self to our will so the divine co is about the process of exp contracting in order to expand so we contract the ego in order to expand consciousness we expand consciousness through meditation through surface through sacrifice and when we expand consciousness and through prayer when we expand consciousness of course that's inhospitable for the ego for the lower ego so as we expand consciousness the ego contracts as we contract the ego through mastery of palette through kind acts through being careful about what we eat what we drink what we're taking through the eyes what we're taking through the ears what we believe what we watch on telly what we read when we start really controlling the palette we make it inhospitable for the winter lion it can't feed if there's no prey so we contract in order to expand we expand in order to contract once we've won the will back we don't have to ask the moment we win the world back this high energy automatically flows in we create a connection between the lower and the higher soul and we have a divine covenant then the divine covenant is saying i've got my free will and i choose to give it over to you and i'll take direction from you i don't know whether you're going to give me a particle or a wave and i don't know what you're going to ask me to do whether it's going to go anywhere what's going to do don't care i have complete faith i have certainty that if i follow what you asked me to do without needing to understand it um it will be like light coming through water it will calculate the billions of possible routes and give me the the perfect route for me within this lifetime within this incarnation so that's the process you talk about it being a book about people being able to reach their their greatest potential ultimately and becoming their their own internal in your words chief executive officer that they're that's what the ceo stands for um you know and this is a constant journey right this is something that we're constantly on and so again i'd steer people all towards that book it you know it's definitely one that i'm going to be reading in the near future i haven't yet um unfortunately i've only come across it in the last couple of weeks to be perfectly honest um in in that you mentioned again with regards to someone that's met or reached their greatest potential i i can't bypass chuck norris uh in a conversation i've never met a man who's uh who spent any time with him so can you tell us a little bit about chuck norris i mean how um he's revered and respected by so many you know what kind of take take on chuck well what i love is i don't know if you've ever read algae alley he's a great um islamic imam it's amazing to rea you'd love him because he's really pragmatic he's right to the point you know but he says that um we fall out of alignment we are noticed and there's an emphasis on notice we're noticed by darker forces when we fall into alignment we are also noticed so as i started to get more and more aligned as i started to speak truth from my little coventry nightclub and my little coventry crafty club there's a tiny little private club around that truth was so potent it rippled out across the world it landed with a guy called john will there was a great bjj player in america um he gave it to a guy called richard norton who was a a big kind of martial arts movie star and he was close friends with chuck norris so they ended up taking my animal day videos and watch my back to chuck norris and he goes want to get this guy over he can speak his truth so they invited me to las vegas to teach for their uh at their association it's like something like 500 of the top black belts in america but of course that brought out that automatically drew out negativity to me because i just thought i'm just a snotty coventry kid my my um my default setting was to sabotage so i put in an impossible price to go over and they said yeah we'll pay it and i said i need a yuki i need a partner i said yeah we'll we'll pay for her to come as well this is sharon and i said uh it's no good me coming to las vegas for four days i need to really come for longer than that to make it worth a while and he goes yeah it's done they put me up in a hotel for ten days um and i was terrified of going in what's in up these barriers then jeff really yeah yeah i was putting them up yeah yeah i was putting them up but when when you start to when you start to um when you start to hit the truth you start to touch all all of the higher echelons within the greater of all of them i was i won't go into too much detail but um i was i'm working on with the guy on i was working i'm working with a guy in a film at the moment and we were doing some talks about it and he was in washington at the inauguration of the new president and he was talking to me from america talking about this script i'm doing on repentance there is a direct link i'm doing a powerful film about the a very muscular film about the power of repentance and the ability for all of us to repent and i was talking to a guy who was at the inauguration of the president and he was saying to me you know when you touch the truth you you are you are closely connected to all of the higher echelons all of them so it's kind of so this this was the very beginning when i hit the truth and suddenly chuck norris is saying come over come and teach which he's invited me three times now um and i put up lots of barriers i self-sabotaged um my wife didn't want to come she did she was really scared and i just said i've got to go there was people were saying are you going to you're going to go over there the machados the graces are teaching on the same seminar benny akidas are teaching um you're going to get challenged you know they won't like you there's all of this tremendous forces and of course i always know when there's tremendous potential but there's tremendous opposition there's tremendous potential so i said i'm going to go i'll go on my own anyway we ended up going over there and i end up sat with chuck norris having tea in las vegas and him talking to me about when bruce lee used to ring him up and say do you want to come round and spar him i loved about him he's a christian he's a deep christian but he uh when he was talking it was the gentleness and kindness that came through he was soft-spoken and he just kept saying you could do this anybody could do this this potential is there for anybody there are barriers of course but those barriers will be consumed in the volition of expansion he he was certain it was possible it's not probable because most people don't want to encounter fear they certainly don't want to eat fear they don't want to consume fear they don't want to come face to face with their own personal behavior beelzebub and consume him in the act of creation but he was he i was basically there for him to say to me this is what's possible then when i came back i had this massive epiphany and i just expanded i just expanded so quickly so much and i just it was a weird thing guys because i certainly could understand books i would read sun tzu and i knew that it was uh it was it was about the connection the inner connection it wasn't about an external war you know i could read i could read the the christian bibles and see the other the allegories behind them you know i mean obviously if you look at cabala it talks about the the you know the other the allegories of all of the different bibles you know people were turning up with copies of the gita you know somebody sent me a beautiful copy of the quran from dubai i was suddenly getting teachers coming out the woodwork because i might i'd expanded and i was able to see what was already there for consciousness or eschatology the christian eschatology says that the second coming of christ is an internal phenomena it's it's when the christ energy enters us and it says that everything is already there in potential it's very quantum everything is already there in potential it's already there in its informed state you determine whether it's going to be a wave or a particle you determine whether it's going to be positive or negative you determine whether you're going to um you know build a prison with your negative traits or whether you're going to build a kingdom with your positive traits so i started to get all of this teaching and it you know a big part of it was this going to teach with chuck norris was basically him inviting me onto the world stage i knew that because i knew he didn't invite very many people and when i sat with him you couldn't deny his ordinariness but you couldn't deny his greatness he couldn't deny his and his greatness came from his humility um but once i've been there i just knew anything was possible i've just been you know just been to las vegas with chuck norris and you're talking about sparring with bruce lee you i absolutely love that i mean i've heard so much about chuck norris one thing being that is it right that he invented giraffes by uppercutting a horse [Music] probably probably you know you know when you put his name into google and it says something like you don't find chuck norris he finds you you know you know something's happening is a true legend um what what greatness that was a good word to use greatness you spoke about um in some of that and i think you mentioned it earlier about um it's easier to deny fear than it was to face it and you're a man that's faced your fears i'm super conscious of time here um and i again i i'm gonna have to get off shortly as well but what i'm really keen for this to be able to do as well is to try and give people some practical advice as to how they can face their fears because we all deny our own fears and and if we can really turn inwardly as we've spoke the golden thread to all of this is locking inwards and and finding the answers that are things that are holding you back these fears that we all have to to reaching our own potential and being our own divine ceo so i know you created quite a practical way of building this fear pyramid do you mind explaining that to people because that might be able to help some people to build their own yeah well the main thing i'd say the big key is that the brain has a strange quirk and it can't deal with with genuine curiosity and fear at the same time so fear rises up and you go here's that feeling i'm going to work with this this is an energy and i've given it i've given it a concept and that's given it an aspect it's giving it a form and an aspect which is makes me terrified i can change that because beyond beyond the form beyond the aspect and the form and the concept is just uh neutral energy so i'm going to be curious about that and i can't i can't work with this energy unless i'm curious and i can't work with it unless i see it so if you suddenly go i want to see that feeling i want to feel it more i want to put myself in it and get desensitized to it and see whether i can um go to a place of denotation as the buddha says he said he was freed from he was he was freed by consciousness from denotation in other words no longer looking at things with names and forms just looking at things as neutral energies um and then i was going okay i've got this energy i used to call it fear but it's just an energy if i can if i can get enough will enough power over my will i can make that energy into a conglomerate into a book into a film into a talk i can make it into a marathon i can make it into whatever i want but while my concept of it is that it's an enemy it's always going to grow fat on that concept so if i can go to a place of denotation or to make it simpler if i can be curious let's be curious about this depression that wipes me out every three or four years is it a hard binger of doing or is it a messenger of hope let's go into it let's have a look at it let's read everything on it let's go on the internet and educate ourselves let's expand our knowing we expand our understanding until our understanding spills into knowing when we know something and we're certain of it that fear no longer exists so in the center from the very center and we get to the center through this curiosity there's no illnesses there's no need for a remedy there's no enemies there's no need for weaponry there's a still center where everything is still in in the neutral form so what i did to understand that was um was when i had this first moment of um i'm not going to live like this anymore that that courage came well that anger came with an idea to draw a pyramid and the idea was that if i if i draw a pyramid and put each of my fears my known fears on one step of the pyramid i can confront them one by one one by one and that at the very least get desensitization to the feelings of adrenaline i can get control i can get some control of my endocrine system and that started to lead me on to understanding psychology you know physiology sociology like i understood if i if i could slow my breathing if i could practice diaphragmatic breathing i could stop the negative cycle of adrenaline just with my breathing just with observing just with observation do you know one of the big things they say about quantum entanglement the best way to break it observe it it automatically goes oh we're being observed and it changes it disentangles you can't fix what you can't talk about right and i i use all the gets people all the time i don't know where i heard it first but the the same thinking so to get out of your head that entanglement in your mind and get it down yeah i'm never too far away from from allows me to and you built this fear pyramid so the your nearest or shallowest fear versus at the bottom and then at the bottom the biggest fear at the top then i just literally can ask what was what was at the top jeff at the time the bottom was the fear of spiders which he sounds silly but it would stop me sleeping at night there was a spider in the bath i'm not going anywhere near it it was it was a hysterical fear but with a guy that had no will you know it was a it was a fear enough to control to control me the top of it was a fear of violent confrontation in between there was fear against the dentist there was a fear of um going into karate tournaments there was all sorts of fears that bullied me what ushaba says maria usher is that in order to um uh transcends here we have to absorb 99 of it we have to intercourse with it and it won't give up it won't it won't become a it won't dissipate until we absorb 99 but when we've absorbed 99 by going right into it by observing it um clinically by by really observing the feelings and following the feelings it just pops and when it pops it gives you the message that it's meant to bring but it's hidden within those feelings so i started to confront these fears so spied out was easy enough find a spider pick it up put it down pick it up put it down until there's no fear so the fear is liberated and the effulgence the energy comes across to me i expand so i suddenly go i've got a reference point i've overcome that fear that was possible that used to debilitate me so the fear of spiders and the fear of violent confrontation might seem very disparate but they're only separated by degree when i went on the door i used the same process i took the job i became a doorman and i just stood in front of the fear when the feelings rushed in i observed them i used breathing technique to control them i created an eye wall in the center this geometric point in other words i found my very center and i sat in the center so sometimes you know would be we'd be in a place of mayhem maybe for months you know with the threat of comebacks the set of someone shooting ya um that you know the threat of violent criminals coming to take over and you'd have to sit in that with the threat of going to prison i was up for 418's during my time as a bouncer just as a just as an occupational hazard so you'd have to sit in that and you'd have to find a center and sit in that sometimes for months at a time and you really do build a very strong eye wall i mean obviously you know i've watched people's eyeball crack and i've watched them fall into the chaos of the storm but so that's what i use the the fear pyramid for i'll like for instance with the dentist i went to the dentist once the fear went it's never come back again crafty tournaments i said the first tournament that comes up i'll enter it it was the liverpool open in the kgb and it was what it was probably the toughest tournament in the country i went there i wasn't a good competition fighter i had about four or five fights um the fear just left me went completely and of course it's not just about overcoming the fear it's about that it's about the fact that you've you've taken back a territory yeah you've stepped towards it you've ran towards the fire rather than turning away from it and avoiding it so it's about making them yeah some of them disappeared just just when you turn and look at them some have disappeared just because they know they've been noticed what did you say you used to quote by rumi he said a quote by rumi before i loved it it was about um fear knocked on the door love answered there was no one there yeah yeah and that and that but to get that again if you get a chance to anybody who gets a chance to look at ushaba there's a great book by a guy called ellis dimore called julian with osensi it's all it's a book about how ushaba went from very physical martial arts into the buddha and he had this great quote where someone said you're worried about anybody challenging you he said no he said the moment they approached me they would realize they're taking on the whole universe he was so he was so in the center of love that to get to him that they would have to enter the center of love with him and automatically of course they would become love there would be no threat he goes into that quantum place where he's not anything so he's a great guy to look at and he he was a guy that really lived and breathed even if you just look him up on um on wikipedia some of the quotes some of his experiences are very inspiring i'll do that and i'll stick something in the show notes so people can find that as well that's a great stare so everyone listening get your fear periods written down approach these fears because when you approach them when you make them real and you engage with them then they disappear and this is what we all have to do to but this is courage in a nutshell facing your fears it starts with getting that pen writing them down and and starting on that journey um you don't have to do it in a day you uh you can take your time over this there's no rush but uh the sooner you start the better i guess um jeff uh i meant so sorry to introduce you guys i just i've just to say that i wrote a book called fear the friend of exceptional people and that this whole process of building a clear pyramid and the nina p and red is it all in there it's a really simple book if people want to look it up i think it's still on amazon fear the friend of exceptional people right well there you go then so again everybody immediately jump on that it's gonna have a little spike for the next day or two jeff no um but that's been absolutely incredible i've thoroughly enjoyed it jeff there's so much i've taken away personally and one of the best things about this podcast for me is the fact that i'm the one that gets to tweak it edit it and which i'll be doing next and none of on this one by the way but i get to re-learn the messages that you've shared so i'm truly grateful for your time truly grateful um and i do hope we can take that walk around kuma i'm definitely going to chase you up for it and i'm not a man that gives up so um that's a thing for me and uh but no i truly appreciate your time today jeff and uh i look forward to our paths crossing again so so thanks very much my pleasure

Channel: Duratus UK

Views: 1,956

Rating: 4.9411764 out of 5

Keywords: duratus, the duratus mind, uksf, special forces, sas, sbs, jonny pain, Royal Marines, veteran, mental health, suicide, Geoff thompson, mma, self defence, bafta

Id: uUcEnVBogZs

Length: 80min 4sec (4804 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 02 2021