The drunk narcissist

hey everyone it's dr romini how many of you have spent time with a drunk narcissist how was that for you love to hear your thoughts as always in the comments but i gotta tell you the drunk narcissist it takes something that's messy and makes it really messy if you're new to this channel i'm dr romini welcome to this youtube channel on narcissism where we really take a deep dive and exploration into narcissism what it is what it looks like in relationships and how you can protect yourself and please subscribe to this channel or and hit that notification bell so you can get informed i suppose and notified every time we put out a new video so let's talk about the drunk narcissist so let's say you have a charming charismatic narcissistic person in your life eh you're living your life the red flags popped up it's a bit of a minefield you've adjusted to it you have a get-together some friends some family and the narcissist drinks a little bit too much and gets drunk and they insult people and they stumble around and they say terrible things to you in front of people and it's like some of the worst days in your relationship but even worse than you didn't think it could get worse well then the party's over they sleep it off and the next day with whatever they remember i can promise you this there's probably more than a little bit of shame underlying that and what do they do they blame you they may claim they don't remember or maybe they actually don't if they got that loaded but they minimize what they have done they tell you you're making too big a deal of all of it and gosh what is wrong with you can't people just have a little fun this pattern may not just happen once may start happening almost every time you have any party or social get-together and then we may see that it may happen when there are no people over but just because it's a tuesday night and the already challenging behavior of the narcissist gets far far worse so now you don't have one problem you got to i've got to tell you that one of the only things worse than a narcissist is a drunk narcissist now why is that alcohol becomes an interesting magnifying glass for the worst qualities of the narcissistic person narcissism as a pattern is already associated with impulsivity but narcissistic folks do have the capacity to inhibit when they choose to for example when talking to the boss or someone who actually matters to them alcohol limits that capacity for inhibition and then bam the alcohol means that their baseline characteristics get a bright spotlight shown on them and we see worse grandiosity more cruelty greater entitlement more arrogance everything that was bad gets worse and these challenges will persist on the morning after when you'll see that the narcissistic person becomes very defensive there's lots of denial lots of blame deflection minimizing and telling you that you are exaggerating the situation it doesn't feel good many of the patterns we observe in people who have drinking problems or living with addiction are similar to narcissism denial rationalization compartmentalization but this is beyond that the drinking takes the bad patterns of narcissism and makes them far far worse the drinking can also raise a secondary issue in terms of trauma bonding and justification for the other person in the relationship many people run the risk of subsuming all of the bad narcissistic behaviors of a heavy drinking narcissist under their drinking oh it's just their drinking but since this person when they're sober you'll still see manipulation controlling gas lighting and validation all the rest of it then the alcohol isn't explaining it all is it however for survivors stuck in the cognitive dissonance of a narcissistic relationship it is easy to blame the alcohol for those issues and then stay in the relationship believing that this person can stop drinking the rub is that if the narcissistic person does indeed stop drinking you may not see the major ramp ups that would happen during the drunken periods but you will see that those patterns of invalidation manipulation lack of empathy entitlement arrogance all of it is still there and now they may even be more edgy because they don't have the boos to bring them down once again you can't win drunk narcissists are more likely to be mean drunks i mean listen the old wisdom is that drinking exaggerates a person's baseline personality so sweet people may become giggly silly and maybe overly flirty drunks but narcissistic people get their mean on their existing patterns of contempt and anger and feeling that people are out to get them all of that comes out during times of drunkenness and looks mean drunk narcissists are more likely to get into fights either verbal fights or physical fights and given the associations between narcissism and aggression adding alcohol to the mix is only going to make that likelihood worse i'm focusing on alcohol in this video in alcohol use because it's still the most frequently used substance and where you are more likely to see daily use or use in front of children and family it's not illegal to drink anywhere in the united states at least so you may be wondering what about other drugs depends marijuana can end up being a bit of a mixed picture while some people will say it's sort of anxiety reducing for some other folks marijuana can enhance feelings of paranoia and that hypersensitized paranoia quality is already present and a problem for narcissistic folks because then they become accusatory and potentially more combative because if they are if they do get that paranoid sense while they're using marijuana they may perceive more threats out in the world cocaine or other stimulant drugs are a real problem for narcissistic folks narcissistic people love stimulants because they really enhance those feelings of grandiosity and take a person who wants to feel like they rule the world leaves them feeling like they actually rule the world and that can magnify the arrogance to a dangerous level lead to some really problematic decision-making we may not see sufficient weighing out of consequences and the narcissistic individual who uses cocaine or amphetamines can spend a lifetime seeking out that intoxicating sense of power that comes from the dopamine rush of stimulants but let's just go back to those drunk narcissists it's not pretty and the risk remains of survivors falling back on framing the alcohol as the rationale for the narcissistic person's bad behavior your hope that drinking will mean that they'll just become chill and just get their buzz on uh probably not alcohol loosens inhibitions and loosens their tongues and there are words and this entire situation gets real ugly real fast so next time you want to belly up to the bar and have drinks with the narcissistic person in your life make sure you prepare for that side cocktail of rage on the side thanks again

Channel: DoctorRamani

Views: 224,123

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Id: 4P5y-zXhiAw

Length: 8min 0sec (480 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 23 2022