Beth: We're gonna dive into the
world of type 9s, which is my type, the peaceful accommodator. Now type nine s appear easygoing,
pleasant, calm, always willing to accommodate to others and without
strong preferences of their own. This hides the fact that they want
independence and autonomy and not to be bothered so that they can experience
the inner peace that they long for. Now, when life and people interrupt
their peaceful state, they will try to accommodate to keep the peace
so that they can quickly go back to that inner calm that they were
experiencing or desiring to experience. They don't often express their desires
and feelings because they believe that it will cause conflicts and discord. This causes them to suppress their
anger and to go along to get along. Now remember, everything hinges
on the four core motivations. A type nine's core fear is
conflict, tension or discord, feeling shut out or overlooked,
and losing connection with others. Their core desire is to have
inner stability and peace of mind. But their core weakness is sloth. Now, this isn't about physical laziness,
though we do like our cozy comforts. This is an inner slothfulness. They remain in an unrealistic
and idealistic world to keep the peace, remain easygoing, and
not be disturbed by their anger. fall asleep to their passions,
abilities, desires, needs and worth. By merging with others, their core
longing is to hear your presence matters. Now an overview of the Type 9 is that
again, they're easygoing, non-judgmental patient people who long for harmony
with others and the entire environment. They can see all points of view are
natural peace keepers and change agents for reconciliation, and they bring a sense
of calm and empathy wherever they go. When they try to satisfy their core
longing for harmony, connection, and comfort, they become conflict
avoidant, indecisive, passive, quickly, overwhelmed, and numb to their own lives. Internally, they struggle to believe that
their voice and opinions matter and become self forgetting and self belittling. They focus too much on others and
lose their own identity, merging with the thoughts, feelings, and agendas
of others to achieve this false harmony that they think is there. fall asleep to themselves, yet
have an internal frustration about being overlooked. See, we tend to train others to
overlook ourselves, but we don't even know that we're doing that. It's a self sabotage. Now let's take a look at type
nines in their relationships. Relationship issues can arise for type
nines when they agree to things that they have no intentions of following through. Instead of dealing with the problems
they may avoid conflict by becoming emotionally unavailable and withdrawn,
they can also be very stubborn. Yep. They desire autonomy and don't want to
be bothered, but simultaneously wish to feel connected and close with others. This can be very confusing for
others, and nines have this deep well of anger that really comes up, but
when it erupts, it's like a volcano. Now, others might go, whoa,
where did this come from? It's been bottled up
for a really long time. They can display their anger
by becoming completely numb and denying it, or by being blind to it. They might actually express it in
subtle and passive aggressive ways. Now, their inability to see
their own actions negatively impacts others and can cause more
distance in their relationships. Now when a Type nine is doing well,
they are fully engaged with others and in life their communication
style is kind, receptive, open. They're non-judgmental. They're peaceable, optimistic, and warm. They are easy to be with
and they are good listeners. However, they're not doing as well, they
can meander and conversations and talk style because they're unsure of really
what they're thinking and feeling. They also might say yes when they
really mean no about a fear of conflict or upsetting someone. Their attempt for harmony eventually
backfires when people get frustrated by their passivity, stubbornness, emotional
unavailability, and the passive aggressive responses that they can deliver. The results of this can be conflict,
which they're actually trying to avoid, but a type 9 can become aware of their
inner world and become awakened to their own convictions, feelings and passions. They believe when they're healthy,
but they matter that they can make a difference in the world. And realizing that true peace comes by
entering into conflict, not avoiding it. They genuinely encourage and support
others even while saying the hard things. This bridges gaps in bringing people
together and bringing real harmony. In fact, type nine s at their best,
they realize that conflict can bring about the good that they desire when
they carry it out in a healthy manner. They improve themselves by listening
to feedback, not avoiding it, and they focus on their own perspective,
not everyone's perspectives. And they recognize this deep
frustration or anger that it's within them, and they can then express
it more fully in a balanced way. They also apologize for making people
frustrated, being passive aggressive. They honor themselves by taking time
to say what they want, speaking up for themselves with self-confidence. Now they also have a profoundly
positive effect on the world by becoming fully awake to their abilities
and passions and then pursuing them. I hope that this helps you to
see a fuller picture of the Type nine as an introduction. And as I mentioned the previous Enneagram
videos, the enneagram is like an onion. There's so much to learn, so many
big aha moments to experience. Now to represent the Type nine in our
logo, we have the type 9 as a purple dot. Now as all color, there's not just one
purple, there's many shades of purple. Not all type nines are exactly the same. But if you wanna know more about what
it's like to be a type ninex, get our exploring yourenneagramcoach.com this is a self-paced coaching course
that will truly help you to understand your inner world and to help you to grow. I'm actually your coach there, so
this will help you to understand that inner world that's so complex
and confusing for the type nine s, it's like we have an internal fog. Let me help guide you, let me help
you see through the fog so that you can know yourself, help you to grow
and truly bless the lives of others.
