The Best Way to Start & End a College Essay in 2024! | Tips for Common App and Supplementals

every year two of the biggest issues that I see in college essays are weak Hooks and poor conclusions what really breaks my heart is not just the fact that these two issues are so prevalent I mean more than half of the essays that we read and edited had these problems it's also the fact that when the hook or conclusion is done poorly it's just done really really poorly like will kill your chances of getting admitted poorly that's the bad news the good news is that Bad Endings and bad hooks are actually pretty easy to fix before we begin I'd like to introduce myself I'm Kevin Zen Yale estation studies grad and co-founder of the elevated school and here at elevated we really focus on writing this includes creative writing for middle schoolers analytical writing for high schoolers college essays and more that being said we also help with applying to college so if you're looking for feedback and help on your resume interviews transfer application strategy summer programs You Name It We got you covered visit our website and shoot us a message I promise we don't bite let's begin let's start with hooks why are they important they're important because College admission officers spend no more than 15 minutes on your entire application which translates to around just five or six minutes on all of your essays if you don't capture their attention or at the very least Peak their curiosity chances are they're gonna skim through your application file even faster now one of my favorite ways to grab a reader's attention in any story is by starting with conflict conflict conflict conflict conflict conflicts are natural hooks I'm going to give you guys a few examples of a conflict hook Each of which gets better and better as I list them out I want you guys to consider why they're improving example number one when I ran for student council president my sister laughed at me and told me I had no shot example number two my dad calls it the deep fryer I call it the singer example number three the challenge with building an igloo is that if you don't finish by 4 pm your risk of hypothermia increases exponentially why is conflict number three so powerful what does it have which the other two lack well first of all it's a way more original scenario and before you ask who actually gets stuck building igloos know that one of my Yale friends actually wrote her essay about that secondly what makes this hook so interesting is that there are some real Stakes like hypothermia could actually kill you and last but not least it helps evoke sensory details immediately helping you show instead of tell already you can picture an igloo and imagine the prospect of hypothermia seeping into your bones whenever crafting a hook always ask yourself how can I raise the stakes and also what are some of the more uncomfortable unusual situations that I've been put in try writing out three or four of the most intense problems you've ever faced and then consider which one of these could actually be a genuine common FSA it's worth mentioning here that there are loads of different kinds of conflicts there's character versus self character versus character and character versus environments your story could feature one two or even all three an example of character versus self would be writing about a time when you had a significant change to your own personal ideology or philosophy character versus character could feature a physical conflict a social one or even an intellectual one like that time when you debated with your cousin about why string theory is just plain wrong similarly character versus environments could be a physical one just like the igloo example I just mentioned or it could be social or even economic an example of that would be writing about a time when you stood up to bullying or when you advocated for more Club funding as a student council representative the possibilities are truly endless my second tip or trick is to begin your essay with mystery pose a question that has to be answered let's take a look at a few examples some of which I just made up on the spot and some of which are from real essays the best teacher I ever had couldn't even speak want to know the secret to perfect fried rice my pet turtle is the reason I flunked my AP Physics Exam as you can see you can begin with a question or just pose one that's answered later on in the story is it simple Yes is it effective absolutely by the way friends if you're enjoying today's video please don't forget to hit the like button it means a lot to me personally and it helps spread our free content to more folks comments about videos that you'd like to see next are also welcome and appreciated thank you guys for being so amazing and thank you so much for watching moving on to the conclusion those darn final paragraphs of your common amp essay my qualm with the dozens of conclusions I read last year is that they were so incredibly cliche or they just regurgitated and repeated what the author had already stated earlier in their story to avoid that we're going to ask ourselves and answer two questions so what and what can I contribute to campus allow me to illustrate this with you guessed it another example let's say that you've decided to write your essay about serving as part of the prom committee and organizing a bake sale fundraiser for prom tickets now a lot of students might think that the so what of a fundraiser is to raise funds but what if we presented this bake sale as something more what if we presented it as a reflection of our own values what if we wrote something like this these bake sales are so important to me because I believe in human connection while it certainly would have been less effort to solicit email or online donations the process of showing up in person to sports events and Club activities then serving my classmates cookies and muffins that I baked myself that feeling of being present in the moment those little interactions that means the world to me in both big way and small I resolve to show up be seen and connect that's the kind of person that I hope to be and that's what I hope to bring to a college campus this concept of the contribution to campus is a critical one to be completely Frank and honest I had no idea that this was a major factor when I applied to colleges my own Common App essay failed to address this point but every year I've noticed that the kids who hit this contribution to campus nail on the head just do so so well when it comes to college acceptances in December and March and April final notes keep in mind that your contribution to campus can be either tangible or intangible it can be something concrete like the fact that you're really good at 3D printing and you plan on creating a bunch of cool gadgets for you and your roommates or it can be something more intangible like hanging on to your childlike sense of wonder and curiosity that's it for today folks I hope you enjoyed today's video don't forget to like And subscribe I'll catch you at the next one peace foreign

Channel: ElevatEd School

Views: 195,366

Keywords: Jeffrey yu, zhened, college applications, common app essay, common app, college application process, college application essay, college application tips, college essay, common app essay tips, how to write the common app essay, how to write college essay, yale, yale university, elevated, elevated school, kevin zhen, kevin zhensei, the best way to start and end a college essay, how to common app essay

Id: E5SmMV9-UbM

Length: 7min 2sec (422 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 02 2023