The Abbott and Costello Show Season 2 Episode 23

what happened I lost my job well we've got to get you another job they do what you do go back in there and tell the man to give you another chance go ahead you know the chance i'm gonna give you another chance didn't work did it look why were you fired in the first place I spilled some coffee huh I spilled some coffee you mean a man can fire you Vanessa Billy a cup of coffee I happen to spill it on that crazy guy that lives in the same apartment is that Professor Robert oh all I did oh he comes you Pig are they out here in the alley do that either sir we're looking for dr. Blues egg i am dr. blue sack oh you are here in response to my advertisement in the newspaper yes you advertise for a man to help me with one of your experiments to be sure won't you come in please use me I feel it they're just easy just a minute you are applying for the position and not me him won't you step into my laboratory and the spider to the fly look I go we can be quite alone in here dr. by the way what is the nature of your experiment it is a known scientific fact that 93% of all the accidents happen to three percent of the human race this three percent we call accident-prone oh yes I see I see you see what I mean oh you guys too grouchy later this promise to accidents according to my theory is born in the unconscious mind shall we say a subconscious fear of accidents oh yes surely in other words if you expected accidentally you get one that's partially right yes but not side from the psychological there are other factors which the layman would not comprehend I must prove this part of my theory by experimentation you're not gonna use me for a guinea pig I don't care what kind of agency mate you're not gonna use me for by the way doctor how much do we get for this one hundred dollars and expensive one hundred dollars in expansion the expenses that's funeral expenses and let the ball suriname hello cause for alarm when you leave this house no harm can befall you for a period of 24 hours accident illness injury will be repelled absolutely nothing can harm you nothing can touch you milk and say again why are you helping a guy let's get anything you need 100 I'll set back oh look blue you don't realize look what does it stop hey what is this thing that is the seat of my experiment Oh linear dr. moosic of blown Zack whatever it is all right you're not kidding me this is the hot seat of it by sitting there my nose a light up he will be absolutely it'll be a completely name given to nothing you hear out that's perfect are you gonna stand by and see the sky barbecue me you are doing science your daughter ahana dollars give me a yeah this is the moment I've lived for dream doll head enjoy his ass ten nine eight seven six five four actor goes out he's not so what he paid this one hundred dollars in me that proves he's nuts him telling me nothing could happen to me for 24 hours that's the disease women now what are you stopping here for intuition you know I intuition why don't y'all watch shower gel lunkhead the matter with you you want to kill somebody you like a guy up there horsing around with flower pots of that what's on the windowsill let me let me hand this will you hey you hey hey hey I should be very careful about those flowerpots I'm I'm sorry boys I guess I kind of knocked it off the windowsill you'll like to cut me on a head would it you could have killed me hey I said I'm sorry while saying you're sorry did you killed me wait a minute don't get so low might have to punch in the nose yet this guy don't get so lucky must be a rah-rah boy now let me tell you something son I don't want you to get fresh with me do you understand don't want me to hurt me what's this hey it's matter well okay can't move my arm it's it's paralyzed what's the matter won't come on movie it's paralyzed ah what I just not get out of the way what's the matter with you you yella yella yeah it's so Kathy mama just misses me he goes who haul off and hit you and his arms paralyzed and I get it maybe this doctor who's I maybe he's got something 24 hours nothing can happen to me I'm gonna prove something to myself what do you gonna do be careful ooh be careful low get out of them hey dr. buczek my friend let's go don't press your luck too far boy 11 that's not how I shooting hey it sure does there come on now you wouldn't get me killed haha will be killed I can't even get hurt you better go to telephone call for reinforcements before it gets one of us take women hold myself you got chills Stella come back here you fool you'll get cash kostely you'll get killed no more noise I gotta use the phone and call up the police okay you asked for it you let's give mr. fields is rent where we get the money out of my way you Pig you apologize yes I apologized to the first Pig I meet holiday hello Lee I like such a guy I'm happy no attention he's a crazy character feels about home call me a pig away by this more important we'll see you later come up with a more fun well it's been a tough morning I'll put the coffee pot on him no sooner done and said well put the coffee pot on haven't we met uh I have got a match but I've got a great idea Lou you've always wanted to get even was that crazy character upstairs he's always bragging about being the greatest fencing master in Europe he claims to be there he claims to be that so you are going to challenge him to a duel this is your idea so certainly I'm gonna challenge this guy to a duel why not with swords that's what the guy is one of the greatest in Europe he'll stick to things true Mia come out the other side you kidding hey stop and think for a minute what is this here you remind me of a wrestling on television I just don't you remember no harm can come to you you can't get hurt you're right i forgot about that thing in your picture him trying to stab you with this thing i'll bet ahead with it although you don't all you don't do it that way Lou don't I forgot to tell you you know quite a while back I was quite a fence on myself at school you were and I can show you in 10 minutes how to make a fool out of that mug upstairs you kidnap you want to listen you mean final module with these things are generally you're gonna show me how to do it you can't touch you your dad I know that ain't he gonna touch me is right that's all there is to it now show you all the finer points that you need I can do that that quick now here on God on God and I now know that's the prize fighter come on oh yeah come on come on come on I'll put your blade up put you laid up take it easy I'll take it easy we have to wait up wait about what are you doing well reach it a different way to me and that supposed to do that now just do as I tell you mean unless was here come on on god that's a fair suppose nevermind nevermind o'clock I'm guy I feel like that guy in picture girl Goldberg look whooping here goes that way dude I tell you Oh God you kill me with that but put your put your song out what gets on it out that's it on gosh I want take off I want to find him well fight and and you blame better eye popping with them you don't do it that way come on man don't you know anything about fencing at all you know I think what this n is no good what do you mean up I think just this thing I could do more trouble you can either do that way I've hurt you certainly I'd me a look in a real in a real news you don't use blades like this they're real sharp blades not let buttons on the end either real sharp blade now you can get hurt get over there on god oh god come in I mean I'm god no it's nonsense speaker when you felt you idiot here what about my rent oh we've got the rent all right let the money right how about a nice cup of coffee mr. feels well that's awfully nice of you i don't mind if I do if I was making a fresh pot about the coffee you have to have a matching match is sure they all right oh that's fine smells funny in here you idiot trust hello you ought to be in a lunatic asylum look what you did to me oh look what you did to me and you said nothing could happen to you that's right nothing did happen to me hey you're right dr. blue Zack was right nothing did happen to you dr. blue Zeki he is right clean up this kitchen I'm gonna get dressing it down see that doctor maybe we can do something for me dr. blows act dr. blues act that who are you looking for dr. blues act the scientists in that nut they took him away away we're back to the madhouse break came from crazy as a bedbug you mean he's not a scientist scientists like I told you he's a nut last time he escaped you thought he was an astronomer time before he was an inventor had an idea to dehydrate water in Sullivan packages and say you mixed up with him no no not me no I ever smoked sky sure Costello my boy I take back everything bad I ever said about you I'm proud of you you are why certainly I am haven't you seen the evening papers i read in the headline where you captured that bank bandit single-handed huh you're a hero you like that I am hahahaha this is very funny you were here Oh papa this is for the laugh now what's so funny about that this thing you must be a typographical mistake you are funny you are ridiculous like a little mouse now listen you I want you to go away from me I don't like you and I don't like you and I always will hey that's the last update don't call me a little use is just a big insult this is a big assault I'll give you a bigger now open yeah you keep on it wait no harmonia little and she is the impossible this is the absolute only too much I demand from universities have shown but Ludo no he don't have I'm gonna give him the suppressor better job hit you so hard I'll poke you follow homes you look like Swiss children I'll give you such mahjong oh who love holes the professor Robert the greater source not in all Europe you little miserable pain haha you don't know what he's saying don't you understand this boy that he does know anything about fighting he knows nothing of duel when he's through with me he'll find out all about all about fueling the quit straightening out mr. Costello apologizes I apologize I speed friends and forget the whole matter friends I'll be his friend when he's a dead pig oh my cart monami my seconds will call upon you now hahahahahahaha you don't know what you've done this is suicide this man will cut you to pieces are you kidding have it nothing under me will you mean have you heard you nothing LOL can hurt me you know that doctor fix me up so nothing in RB that's what I'm trying to tell you that doctors a fake he's a phony he's off his rocker they've got him in the lockup right now wait a minute habits do not speak about dr. blues act that way especially when he's not here to offend himself after all he's a good man and I'm not gonna let you use his name in vain I hate that my car oh no I don't think so I've seen it I've heard it oh you're just trying to kid me ever will you listen to me please Lou I don't know i don't think i'm gonna listen to you or anybody else I don't think after all I think this man gave me the stuff I think everything is alright I'm saying I know positively nothing's gonna happen to me I'm sayin its murder right well what have you got to say now I'm scared and says how you're scared there we are late roast chicken boiled potatoes nice to peace by our hold everything you little heart desires yeah what did the way don't like this for well now whoever would you be kind to a friend on the eve of his departure now too but we just know it's just one of those things how do you like the chicken is not cooked well enough for you I don't wanna do you can even have anything you want tonight anything at all anything your heart desires Oh anything at all you may be some strawberries well there are the season are we if there's anything else that you want ruled anything you want me to do for you don't you think you will you want to write some kind of an older letters to anyone I mean right notes and letters well I thought maybe and by the way I and I like to mention there's the fete portable typewriter viewers I've always had my eye on that I I know you wouldn't want it to go to waste with talk like I'm dead already more my way to the last minute Louie women oh that veil a voice you know that Professor robear has no friends here so he's asked me to be his second now we have decided to fight this duel with you tomorrow morning around dawn in the park now since we challenge you you have your choice of weapons what do you wanna fight with cream puffs you have your choice you can have either rapiers or shaver well they're both sword but one is long in one is short I suggest you take the short one life you can get closer to them beautiful fight this would be now oh by the way Lou that rain coat of yours you know I've had my eye on that I could take it in a little around the waist yeah that's gonna get my typewriter when I'm going my eyes are talking it was gone already take it easy take it easy Leona you won't be my friend so zoom your friend I'll be packed I'm gonna get up here right pack it out take it easy you know you're the one who got yourself into this mess not me I didn't get myself into this mess it was you greedy being selfish happened you wanted to get a hundred dollar so you put me as a guinea pig with that rock tells the loser let me think a minute some ideas you get yeah somebody snuck first time I've ever get stuck that's the first time you've ever been stuck at if you don't get an idea here I'll be the only one that's gonna get stuck Oh bud hello Lou lieutenant was afraid some of the pounds of that bank robber you caught Mike them down trying catch is everything all right Oh everything's just fine we were just going out for a little stroll sorry boy you can't leave here it's too dangerous you might get killed I'm like yeah I might get killed for him I might get killed what he thinks gonna happen to me here you haven't got a thing to worry about i'll be camped right outside of that door now you boys go to bed and relax relax oh the bed he says in the next advan I'm trapped like a rat wait a minute no you're not I have an idea come here hello there we this is Professor rebell do you professor Rob air Oh professor Robert at this is what Abbott and my partner mr. Costello wants me to tell you he thinks you're the biggest dope in the world and if we don't don't open up the wound any more than it is he also wants me to tell you that he don't think that you know one end of a sword from another and the greatest was in the world that big said that the miserable intruding little pig he says if you come right down here now he will wipe up the floor with here haven't you know what you're saying the guy's gonna kill me now you're gonna have him come down here and clean up the joint with me please habit I don't notice the answer my idea leave everything to me you've got nothing to worry about and the worry about a work County officer would you come in a minute please sure I just got a telephone call it must have been from the friend of that bank robber he said he was coming here coming here yes he said he was going to kill Costello listen Harry if the guy could happen to come in here and he's gonna get me will you get him would you lock him up and put him in jail I'll say well I hope he does show up that might be him and let him in that's the way my dear friend Harry eagle and services I haven't seen him to taught me how to pass up the police academy hahahahaha see our crop Lizzie disease a pleasure it's after nine he isn't coming or he will come or I shall go after him he's not getting up easily here they come now come on let's get with it is it insult of insult a fresh hat well let him have it how dare you i'm his second winner I you

Channel: Abbott Shows

Views: 15,003

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Id: W8dY37hwIB4

Length: 25min 11sec (1511 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 30 2016