THE 7 SIGNS YOU'RE BURNT OUT, NOT LAZY (Change Everything In 2023)| Rangan Chatterjee

one of the worst things in life is when you've got no energy right sometimes you don't want to get out of bed you're struggling to get through that to-do list you feel trapped every day feels like you're on a treadmill you don't have the time or really the energy to connect with your friends with your partner with your kids and I gotta say I've been a medical doctor now for over 21 years and this is one of the commonest complaints I see people feel knackered they feel tired they're really really struggling with their day-to-day lives and one of the big problems is that they feel the problem is them they feel that they're being lazy that they don't have any motivation or willpower have you ever felt like that maybe you feel like that at the moment maybe someone close to you feels like that you know the truth is pretty much everyone the problem is not them they do not have a laziness problem or a willpower problem or a motivation problem when they're complaining of this kind of low-grade fatigue no this is a sign that you are on the road to burn out burnout is very very common these days and I've got to be honest it's getting more and more common as the pressures from work from society start to mount up and I've seen this I've experienced it myself I've seen it in so many patients but what I do know is that if I can help you identify the signs of burnout early you can take some very simple steps that will make a big difference so what I want to do in this video is walk you through the seven common signs of burnouts and do stick around for these signs because I think a couple of them are going to really surprise you then what I'm going to do is I'm going to walk you through my own 10-step action plan that you can put into practice over the next 30 days and if you do it I know it's going to make a big difference because these are the steps I've taken in my own life before and these are the steps I've helped my patients take in their lives and all of the things I'm going to recommend are simple to do and they're completely free now before we get to the first sign that I think it's really important for you to look out for in yourself and in the people around you I just want to make the point the burnout is not something that happens overnight burnout is chronic unmanaged stress that goes on for days weeks months and often it goes on for years it's Insidious it creeps up over time and the problem is with burnouts is a lot of people don't realize they're going through it until it gets really really bad and I want to stop that from happening to you you know you may well be on the road to burnout now I want to help you identify it stop it in its tracks so that you can actually make some changes now I think it's really important to understand how stress and your body's stress response system fits with burnouts right stress is not all bad you need a little bit of stress to perform well right let's say you're at work and you've got a presentation to give right you want a little bit of stress it's going to help you perform better your brain is going to be sharper your memory is going to be better your focus is going to be improved these things are fantastic right they're going to help you in that meeting and if you have time afterwards to chill rest recuperate you become more resilient over the time the stress starts to tune up your nervous system that's a good thing that's how you build resilience right but that's what happens in burnouts in Burnout you're getting stressed you're getting these doses of stress regularly but the problem is you're not getting time to recover and reset so your nervous system starts to change think of it like an elastic bands right you have an elastic band you pull it a little bit and then you let it go it comes back to its normal shape that's great that's what you want with your stressed response system but if you keep pulling it several times a day after day week after week what happens the shape of that rubber band starts to change it doesn't go back that's kind of what's happening with burnouts and a lot of the signs that I'm about to go through if you think about that elastic band I think you'll really understand why they're happening so now I want to walk you through those seven key signs that I found time and time again indicates that someone is either burnt out or on the road to burnout and then once I've gone through these seven sides I'm going to give you my own 10-step action plan that you can start to put into practice over the next 30 days which is going to start to make a difference immediately so do stick around for the action plan at the end the first sign is one that I don't hear enough people talking about and it's disconnection disconnection from the people around you right so when you're on that road to burnout when that elastic band is starting to change shape you go inward you don't want to be with other people you don't want to be with your partner you don't want to be with your kids your work colleagues you just want to stay by yourself and often engage in some quite unhelpful behaviors and this is really really toxic for a variety of reasons I mean number one we now know from the scientific research that the feeling of being lonely is as harmful for your health a smoking 15 that's one five cigarettes per day so why would that be right let's think about it let's say you were around a hundred thousand years ago if you didn't have a supportive tribe around you you were vulnerable to attack that is a threat and your body knows it so your body's very clever if you're feeling isolated your body reacts as if that's a threat because it is if something was to happen you don't have your tribe around you so it's going to activate your stress response and that's going to lead to all kinds of problems high blood sugar fatigue low mood anxiety weight gain all kinds of things simply from feeling lonely right so there are some real biological changes that happen in your body when you disconnect from the world around you and of course it has a detrimental effect on your relationships and of course it's those relationships that are going to play a key role in getting you out of burnout the second sign I want you to look out for again is one that I don't think people are talking about enough and that's emotional exhaustion right we're going to get to physical exhaustion shortly that is something people talk about all the time and it's important but emotional exhaustion is something slightly different and often this is a really good Telltale sign that you're on the road to burnout so what does this look like well this could be the small things start to bother you little requests from your partner such a really really agitate you you know your partner asks you to make her or him a cup of tea and you know it bothers you you don't want to do it let's just think about that you're feeling good in yourself and life is good why would the small acts of making a cup of tea for your partner bother you it wouldn't so when it does start the body when you start to get agitated at these small things it's a very very good sign that wait a minute something's wrong here I may need to address something this also shows up with cynicism we become cynical we become cynical about the world about the people around us about our colleagues you know we see something online we start talking really judgmental we think the worst of people this again comes under that umbrella of emotional exhaustion and often this also shows up as little outbursts of anger we can keep it together at work we can keep a lid on it because we want to come across as professional but when we come home and maybe it's our partner there or our children that's who Bears the brunt of it which of course is not how we want to be so do pay attention to this emotional exhaustion because I think it's one of the most important signs to look out for the third sign is a lack of creativity right and for some people this is The Telltale sign and it often goes under the radar right so let's say you're at work and if you are on the road to burnouts almost certainly your work performance will be starting to go down and one of the ways this shows up is with a lack of creativity you can't think of new ideas you can't solve problems everything starts to mount up and get on top of you but a lack of creativity can also show up in your home life where there are simple everyday problems to fix and solve and you haven't got a clue how to do it this lack of creativity May well be a sign that you are on the road to burnout the fourth sign to look out for is an inability to gain pleasure from simple everyday things again this is really really common the things that you used to enjoy you used to get loads of pleasure from now you find the mundane you don't want to do them you want to stay in bed you don't want to do anything I mean have you felt like that before do you feel like that right now do you know someone in your life who does feel like that you know in medicine we have a term called anhedonia that basically describes this and we see anhedonia in all kinds of conditions including depression but I actually see it really really commonly on the way to burnouts so do pay attention to this the fifth sign of burnout is procrastination when you go over the same thing over and over again you know what you want to do you know what you should be doing but you don't take action and often this shows up as an inability to make decisions you're weighing up five six seven maybe ten different options and you can't decide this is procrastination and this again is a really important sign to watch out for in yourself or someone close to you because it could indicate burnouts before I get to the final two signs that I want you to start looking out for I want to tell you about one of my patients who I saw a few years ago it was a 37 year old chap called Stuart now what's interesting about Stuart is if you're looking in from the outside he was crushing life okay so he works for himself he was running his own business he'd work from home he would work in the evenings he would work at weekends he was driving a sports car he made good money honestly from the outside people thought he was crushing it but one day he came into seaming in my clinic and he said to me Dr satachio I'm concerned that I've got depression I struggled to get out of bed sometimes I feel exhausted little things are starting to bother me I don't have that creative spark that I used to have I don't want to spend time with anyone and I'm also struggling to experience any joy in my life right so I had a chat with Stuart we ran some tests they all came back normal and as I started to get to know him and inquire about his life it was really clear to me that he spent all of his time alone I never saw anyone I actually said to him hey Stuart have you got any friends you know do you ever see your friends and he said hey Doc um yeah I've got friends but I don't have time you know I'm running a business and I kind of see what they're up to on social media I think that's one of the rather unusual things about life these days often we don't have to see our friends in person but we can see what they're eating from their Instagram page you can see whether it be in a holiday who they spent time with at the weekends we can see photos of this we don't actually have to see them that's what I said to Stuart is listen I think you need to spend some time with your friends and so the prescription I gave him was for the next four to six sweets I want you to make sure that once a week you see at least one of your friends in person and when you're with them what I want you to do is put your phone away so you're really present for that interaction now I'll be honest it wasn't the prescription Stewart was expecting from me but it was the prescription I felt would have the most impact in his life Stuart goes away he's desperate right so he's willing to try this six weeks later he comes in to see me and he feels like a different person he bounces into the room I says you how are things you know what's going on he says doc I feel like a completely different person I've got energy my mood's better I've got my mojo back things are really really good and I said Stuart what happened what's going on and he said doc what I did was every Sunday morning I went to my local cafe right I'd meet up with one of my friends or a group of friends and we'd catch up over a coffee for about an hour or so it was fantastic and then over the next few weeks actually I realized I was never doing any sports right and so with my mates we decided to play five aside football after work every Wednesday night that was all Stuart dead right he didn't have depression he didn't have a deficiency for medication and once you were actually had was the deficiency of friendship in his life now Stuart actually had his friends around him he was lucky his friends lived nearby to him but he was so busy he never saw them and this is a really really common thing that I've seen over and over again and I'll be honest I've experienced this myself before I've worked so hard that I've actually neglected to spend time with my friends and it's always come at a huge cost now the reason I share that story is because I want you to know just how quickly you can start to make a change and I'm coming very shortly to that 10 step action plan that's going to help you do just that the sixth sign of burnout that I really want you to pay attention to is when our self-care starts to disappear right of food choices become progressively worse we eat more takeaways we often don't eat we Comfort eat more we're often up late in front of the television we're so stressed and wound up we we don't want to go to bed so we watch another episode of that box set with a packet of crisps or some ice cream or some biscuits and I understand why you might want to do that in the moment it feels good but the problem is it reinforces the problem that you have it keeps you locked in that cycle and it makes it even harder to turn that ship around and get you away from burnouts right so your food choices start to go your movement often we stop moving we literally go to work come back and then slump at home in front of our computer or on the sofa we don't do anything that gets blood pumping around our body and again that keeps you lots in a vicious cycle also we think about self-care what I've seen when patients are on this path is that they stop showering Stop Shaving brushing their teeth these little things that actually are important for our self-worth and our self-esteem those things start to slip as well and this is really ironic isn't it because actually it's those things whether it's self-care whether it's food whether it's exercise these are the things that we actually need the most in that moment they're the things that start to go by the wayside and what's really interesting that case study of Stuart I just mentioned over the subsequent months after we got together with his friends he started to bring back self-care like he realized when he was playing Five aside football in his 30s that wow I have no Fitness right I need to go to bed earlier I need to eat better so I can perform better it all started with just seeing his friends more that we're going to get to that actual plan shortly I just want to finish off by giving you the seventh sign that I want you to look out for the seventh sign is I think the one we most commonly associate with burnouts physical exhaustion you have no get up and go to do anything whether it work or at home you've got no energy for your hobbies no energy to see your friends no energy to spend time with your children or your partner and it's really really debilitating now this kind of fatigue often shows up as feeling tired and wired right so you're tired but you all go in your mind so you can't switch off at night which starts to affect your sleep so this is a very good sign that you are on the road to burnout that you need to do something different if you want to turn that ship around the other thing you often see here is brain fog you have that haziness in your mind you don't have that Clarity of thinking and you start to lose self-awareness this is huge often when people are in those final stages of burnouts they've lost self-awareness they actually start to double down on all the things that they were doing that got them there in the first place they work even harder they stay up even later they try and push through even more so that lack of self-awareness is something we really need to pay attention to and that's exactly the main reason I wanted to make this so that you can start to identify these signs in your own life so now I want to walk you through this 10-step action plan that you can start to implement over the next 30 days and remember you don't have to do everything at once right in fact if you try and do them all at once it's probably going to feel overwhelming which is the last thing you need at this moment right so just listen as I'm going through these 10 steps and think hey you know what this is one I can introduce straight away or that one I might want to leave for a few weeks that's completely okay what's the right thing for you it's going to be unique to you and what's going on in your life but what I can tell you is I know this is going to work how do I know that I've been a doctor now for over two decades I've seen tens of thousands of patients and these are the exact steps that I've used successfully with my patients to get them better but I'm also a human being with the same pressures as you you know I'm a busy guy I'm married I've got two kids I've got a busy job for you know many years in my adult life I was a carer for my dad and in those years I put my dad's needs first at the expense of my knee to the expense of my relationship with my wife at the expense of time with my kids and I got to that place where life felt like a struggle and I was struggling with motivation I'd let self-care start to drop all these kinds of things that I've already been talking about I've been there right so I know how hard it is but I also know how quickly you can change things now before we get to step number one I want to just remind you about those seven signs what was underlying all of them right what was underlying all of them is a kind of learned helplessness that's what happens in burnouts burnout steals your autonomy right autonomy is a core human needs to make sure you're taking action after watching this video I have created a free breathing guide that's going to help you reduce stress calm your minds and boost your energy in this guide I share with you six really simple breathing practices that work immediately even just one minute a day will start to make a big difference to receive your free guides all you have to do is click on the link in the description box below it's so important that you feel you can make decisions in your life that make a difference and burnout takes that away from you so this action plan is going to put you back in control right it's going to get you off the treadmill and get you back into engaging intentionally with life so the first step I want to talk about is awareness now let me just pause on this for a minute everything I've been saying so far is about giving you an awareness of the problem and people will often say okay great Dr chassis I've got awareness now what should I do and I say wait a minute just hold your horses do not underestimate the power of awareness because the problem with burnout is that people often do not realize it until it's too late I once spoke to this wonderful chap Greg McEwen on my podcast and he's written these great books essentialism and effortless and he once put a tweet out he said there's two kinds of people in the world those who are burnt out and those who don't know their burnt out now I think that's a very powerful quote now do I agree with all the facts you know can we say that everyone in the world is burnt out no but are more people burnt out than currently think they are absolutely yes a little while ago this is exactly what happened to one of my friends she didn't pick up on the sides until it was too late and finally when her husband took her in to see her doctor he had to sign her off work for three months she couldn't go to work because it was that bad she had to slowly rebuild her life from scratch but actually looking back all of those signs were there emotional exhaustion physical exhaustion little things were starting to get too much self-care was starting to go down she would start to stay up too late she didn't want to go to bed Netflix binge watching snacking right little outbursts of anger all the things that we mentioned were there but she wasn't able to pick them up and the people around her weren't either so I want to help you get to the point where you don't need to wait until that happens now I'm pleased to say she's now thriving right all the things I'm about to walk you through with the things that she did shouldn't do them all together she didn't do them all at once she did them over a period of days weeks and months and now I actually think she's learned some very powerful lessons that will stop her going down that path again in the future the second thing I want you to focus on is to intentionally engage with another human being to remember the first sign I asked you to pay attention to the first sign that may indicate you're on the road to burnout is disconnecting from the people around you and I've already explained how toxic that can be for our health and our happiness you are simply very unlikely to get out of this rut by yourself you have to share this with someone you have to tell someone in fact you may be surprised when you share this with someone and tell them you may be surprised how many people in your life have actually been through this before or who are currently going through it well it doesn't need to be for long could be the arrange to meet a friend on a Sunday morning at the local cafe like Stuart who I mentioned already right that's all he needed to do that one change LED to all kinds of other positive ripple effect changes right so maybe that's something that's going to work for you maybe it's you diary in some time with your partner maybe it's a date night if that term doesn't resonate with you that's completely fine but diary ends something regularly with another human being it's so so important another tip you may want to think about that relates to intentionally engaging with another human being is to put some default things in your diary one of my best mates in America he realized that him and a lot of his friends were never seeing each other so they put something in every Thursday called man Thursday basically there was a group of eight of them where they decided every Thursday morning for two hours early we're gonna get together we're gonna meet at a coffee shop grab a quick coffee then maybe go for a walk or a hike or go to the gym whatever it might be and the beautiful thing about it being in the diary is is that you don't have to go every week some days you might be too busy that's okay right but you know it's happening it's a routine interestingly enough I spoke to the incredible marathon runner Elliot kipchoge on my podcast recently he is the fastest marathon runner in history and he never trains by himself never he said we all run together as a group so if I'm not showing up people are going to text me say hey Elliot what's going on are you okay right so there's something very powerful about putting something in the diary this works if you're a woman this works if you're a man but I will say this kind of thing is something that we're seeing a lot of in man man are often not prioritizing those close nourishing friendships that can really make a big big difference another thing certainly in the UK that's helpful for people is something called Park Run Park run is a community initiative in hundreds if not thousands of towns and Villages every Saturday morning people get together to go for a five kilometer run or walk and actually it's not about running it's about the community and lots of my patients who are really struggling with their moods and their mental health often they don't want to run they go and volunteer and it gives them a sense of purpose in their life it gives them a sense that they matter and it's important that they show up to do their bits right so please do think about it how can you start to intentionally engage with another human being what's going to work for you and if you think there's someone in your life who's struggling at the moment who stopped calling he is not replying to your messages who you can't get hold of maybe that's what they're going through so maybe you can reach your hand out and say Hey look not seen you for a while you know you're probably really busy with work like all of us but what about next Wednesday do you fancy go for a walk at lunchtime or grabbing a coffee after work whatever it might be but this is really really important intentionally engaged with another human being in fact if that does sound like someone you know why not take a pause right now and share this with them the third thing I want you to focus on is your sleep I want you to start prioritizing your sleep and we've heard already haven't we that when we're on the road to burnout we often stay up later we don't want to go to bed often we feel tired and wide but that actually makes the problem worse the following day so if you can actually get a little bit more sleep I'm not talking about eight hours of unbroken sleep every night that may not be achievable just yet for you even if you can get 15 more minutes a day 20 more minutes a day that will literally start to make a difference immediately because when you sleep better everything in your life is better your physical health your mental health and your emotional health and one thing I just want to say if you are that person who I don't know let's say at 10 pm you are thinking yeah you know what one more episode of this box set and you've got some of the signs I've already mentioned you are making a trade in that moment that you may not know you're making your base is saying I'm going to say it for an extra hour to watch this episode but because of the impact that's going to have on my sleep I'm basically saying tomorrow I'm going to be less creative I'm going to be less able to solve problems I'm going to have lower energy I'm going to crave more sugar and more caffeine we know that sleep deprivation means that you're going to have less empathy the following day right so you're literally making a trade in that moment that you are prepared to sacrifice all of those things for that one hour box set and I get it I've been there before but I'm just trying to make you more aware of just how important that sleep is there's all kinds of things I could say about sleep but let me just walk you through some of the commonest things that I see and the commonest things that you can do that will start to make a difference and remember you don't have to do them all but the more of them that you can do the better number one right when you wake up in the morning try and expose yourself to natural light right if it's a cloudy day you really want 20 to 30 minutes of natural light outside if you can on a sunny day you might get away with five to ten minutes because that helps to set your body's circadian rhythm and that's going to help you sleep better that night it's a really important Point people are thinking about their evening routine when they're thinking about sleep but a good night's sleep starts in the morning second thing caffeine I get it many of us enjoy a cup of coffee or a cup of tea I love my coffee right I'm not saying give it up but the problem is in Burnout is that you get stuck in a vicious cycle where because you feel tired all the time you're using more caffeine to keep you going which in turn is making it harder for you to sleep at night so I always say Enjoy your caffeine in the morning now look the truth is we all have different sensitivities to caffeine it depends on our genetics it also depends on how much stress is going on in our lives and if you're on the road to burnout by definition you've already got a lot of stress in your life your stress load is very very high and I have found time and time again that with people like this with patients like this you've got to be really careful with your caffeine intake so I would say Enjoy your caffeine but keep it to the morning the third thing I want to say about sleep is if you're going to form into a deep relaxing restorative slumper you have to start winding down about one hour before beds one of the big problems these days is that our devices are our work devices and our pleasure devices you know you may have a laptop or a tablet and you may do all your work on it but you also do all your chilling out on it in the evening and what a lot of us don't realize is that our brain is an associative organ right it Associates certain things and certain places with certain activities so if for example you are used to doing emails on your bed on your laptop your brain starts to associate your bedroom with work an emails and that's one of the big reasons why people really struggle to switch off and fall asleep because their brain has been conditioned for a certain activity in a certain environment so that's wanting to pay attention to you know can you change your environment I appreciate not everyone has space but if you are working from home are you able to work outside your bedroom this is something that not enough people do not enough people think about but it makes a really big difference the other thing to focus on in that one hour before beds is sending your brain a signal that you're no longer working this is basically campfire time right if we think about us you know tens of thousands of years ago hundreds of thousands of years ago the evening is campfire time it's for storytelling it's a fun laughter dancing connecting so if you are not giving your brain that signal if you're still on your emails after dinner right you just got to be really careful what signal are you sending your brain so one thing that I find helpful and many of my patients find helpful is you have a cut off time in the evening right maybe you want to set an alarm you know we used to the idea that we set an alarm in the morning but maybe it's just set an alarm in the evening like let's say you want to go to your bedroom to fall asleep at 10. maybe you set an alarm at 9 00 PM or even 8 30 p.m and that's a signal to shut the laptop don't look at emails anymore and then you can do some more relaxing activities like I don't know have a bath read a book you know talk to your partner if you do want to watch television and I understand the temptation find something relaxing to watch you know if you're watching the news just before you go to bed whether on TV or online and you can't sleep is it really that much of a surprise the news is by its very definition these days negative right all news channels are competing with other news channels so you're going to see negative stories if that's what you are infusing into your brain and Minds in the minutes or hour before beds it's no surprise really that your mind's going to be racing and you're going to be thinking about the worst possible outcomes right so pay attention to what are you consuming if you want to watch something watch something uplifting relaxing that makes you feel good the fourth thing I want you to focus on as part of this 10 step action plan is to do something that you love every day now what a lot of people don't realize is that regularly doing things that you love makes you more resilient to stress but at the same time being chronically stressed particularly work related stress means that you find it harder to gain pleasure in everyday things and remember that's one of those key seven signs of burnouts and inability to get pleasure from those simple things so one way around this is for five minutes a day right if you could do more great but even five minutes a day will make a difference finally say you're doing something for you not for your boss not for your work colleagues not for your partner not for your children this is for you this could be reading a book okay could be listening to some tunes or some music that you really like it could even be going onto YouTube and watching your favorite comedian for a few minutes right it's so so powerful if you give yourself a daily dose of pleasure you will find that little by little day after day you are going to start to feel more resilient more engaged with life it's gonna have such a powerful impact and all I'm asking for was just five minutes a day for me what do I do there's all kinds of things I love doing I love reading I love listening to music but I love playing my guitar and so often in the evenings especially if it's been a stressful day I'll just sit on my guitar for a few minutes and sing and it makes all the difference if I go for a week or two without doing this I can absolutely feel it so what's it going to be for you what is that thing that you can do each day for only five minutes but something that you're really really going to enjoy it's really easy to underestimate just how important doing something each day that you love is but let me just tell you briefly about a patient I saw a few years ago right he was in his 50s CEO of a company he was married had kids he was doing well at work he used to love his job right but he got to a point where he would enjoy his work he didn't really enjoy spending time with his wife he didn't really enjoy doing that much with his kids he felt flat he came to see me and he was worried and there's all kinds of things I could share with you here but the essence of the story is is that I asked him if he ever did anything he enjoyed and he said no don't get out of time I really don't have time so what about weekends weekends I'm just taking my kids from events to events I just don't have any time for myself I said well do you have any hobbies it goes stock out of time for hobbies I said okay did you used to have any hobbies maybe when you're a child they said yeah I used to love playing with train sets I said okay great do you have a train set and he said hey Doc you know I I do but it's in my loft it's in my attic I haven't looked at it for years so I said listen what I think would be really helpful for you is to go into your Loft get it out and start playing with it and again I didn't see it for a few months and three months later I remember I bumped into his wife in my clinic car park I said How's he getting on and she said to me that's chatty is like a different person he's got his mojo back he comes home from work each night and he's tinkering around on his toy train set for hours and then a few months later when he came in for a well-man check actually spoke to him I said how are you getting on and he said Everything feels different um happier I feel I'm closer with my wife I feel I'm more engaged with my children again I feel like I've got my thigh back and again for him it all started with his train sets so what's your equivalent of that train set what hobby or passion have you left for by the wayside and which ones you think you can bring into your life right now the fifth step to start introducing into your life is about learning how to say no now this is easy to say a lot harder to do in practice it's something many of us struggle with I've struggled with this for much of my life right we have to be able to say no and often we're doing things that are helping other people but it's coming at the cost of ourselves now listen I get it it's nice to be there for other people it's good to do things for other people but if it's happening all the time and it's coming at the cost of your physical mental and emotional well-being I think it's time to ask yourself some questions what's going on so make sure you're taking action after watching this video I've created a free guide to help you build healthy habits we can all make short-term change but can those changes become a fundamental part of our life often they don't and that's why in this free guide I share with you the six crucial steps you need to take that really really effective if you want to get hold of that free guide right now all you have to do is click the link in the description box below now the truth is that for many of us the reason we struggle to say no is because we're people Pleasers often we don't feel good enough in who we are often this started in childhood we feel that in order to be liked and loved we have to do things for other people's approval and if we're not careful that continues into adulthood we put our own needs last and everyone else's needs first and as I say this often comes from insecurity we don't feel good enough in ourselves we feel that we need that other person's validation in order to feel good but this is toxic and it is very very problematic so you're not going to change this overnight again simply being aware that you may have some people pleasing Tendencies which is getting in the way of your ability to say no is really really powerful another thing you may find helpful when thinking about saying no is weighing up the consequences of your decision on both sides now a lot of the time we just look at things from one side okay I've been asked to give a meeting or let's say give a presentation at a weekend and we might think this is a great opportunity for us okay this is wonderful but when you say yes to something you're also saying no to something else and what you're saying no to you often don't think about you just think about the pros of what you're saying yes to oh if I do this it will help you with my job my boss will like me look how does that play out in my own life I get asked to speak at events a lot these days and I used to say yes to a lot of them I wanted to help I wanted to go there I wanted to speak to people help Empower them with information but I realize a lot of the time this is happening at weekends and you know I'm married I've got two young children they're at school in the week over the past years I've realized if I say yes to a weekend speaking invitation I'm saying no the time of my children I'm saying no to time with my wife and again look we're all different we've all got different pressures and different requirements with our work sometimes taking that weekend invitation it's going to be the right choice right but for me at this stage in my life now at this stage in my career I've decided that I will not do weekend speaking engagements or I won't regularly do them at least it would take something really really special for me to decide yes I'm going to do that and so for me I now have a rule I don't speak at weekends and that has simplified my life if a weekend imitation comes in it's almost certainly no see another thing you can think about here is make your default decision at least in your brain know when you get us to do things that are out with what you are required to do make know the defaults and then say to yourself can I make a case for this to be a yes it's just slightly tweaking things and perhaps that's a strategy you may find useful the other thing to say about setting boundaries and saying no is that if you've never been able to do it before it's going to feel hard at first right you're not going to feel comfortable doing it but what I really ask you to do is Think Clearly about why you're saying no and then try and be honest don't try and over explain just be really clear to the point explain your reasons and you may be surprised at how well received they are maybe two years ago now I got an invitation in July by a friend of mine to speak in August and at that time I had decided that I'd been working too much I'd been neglecting some of the important things in my life and I decided in August I'm not going to work in August I'm taking time off I'm going to spend time with my family again I appreciate not everyone has the luxury I've been able to do that at that time I did and the speaking invitation came in now the only reason I even considered it because this lady who invited me was a friend of mine but I thought about it and then very clearly said to her Hey listen thank you so much for the invitation it sounds wonderful but I'm not taking on any work in August I'm spending it with my family I'm really sorry if you'd like me to promote your event for you I'm happy to do that but I can't take part and you know what at that time I was a bit nervous about telling her I was wondering what she gonna think of me and she didn't think anything bad of me in fact she really respected that I was honest and told her the truth and it also felt good for me I feel I didn't lie I didn't tell a white lie I didn't make up some excuse no I just told her the truth and actually I find more and more being able to say no in a truthful authentic way is a really really good skill to acquire and it's something you can work on and get better at with practice sixth thing for you to focus on is to schedule rest now this relates a little bit to the last one right if you get better at saying no putting up boundaries you're gonna have more time for yourself but what are you going to do with that time right you need rest fully recuperate remember what I said about that elastic band and burnouts right you get these little doses of stress they're going to come they're not going to stop right the stress helps us it helps us perform better but then if we intentionally have enough time to rest and recover we grow back stronger right we become more resilient with burnout what happens is because we don't have that time to rest and recuperate the elastic band starts to change shape you know we start to change shape internally which is what causes all those symptoms and signs that I've already been through so if you can put in the right amounts of rest you're going to find that you can deal with stress because you're recovering from stress now one of the best things to think about doing is put it in the diary you know in Step number two when I spoke about intentionally engaging with another human being I shared that story about my friend in America who has manned Thursdays it's in the diary so it's gonna happen more often than not what can you put in your diary maybe it's a yoga class midweek on a Wednesday night after work maybe it's a relaxing Epsom salt bath every Tuesday and Friday evening put in your diary see that's the interesting thing isn't it we put our work commitments in our diary because we're prioritizing them and we know we have to do them but you also have to do rest and let's just think about it for a minute what does it really say about our priorities in life when all our work commitments are in our diary all the commitments we have for other people are in our diary but most of us don't think to put a walk in our diary or a bath in our diary or maybe our yoga class in our diary it's a very simple move that can be really really effective now I just want to quickly mention something about walking because I go to a lot of companies these days I speak to a lot of people about burnouts and stress and one of the most useful and effective things I recommend is a 15-minute walk at lunch time with no technology why is that so powerful well if you have a walking break at lunch time You're Gonna Come Back be more creative and better able to solve problems that's the thing a lot of people don't realize burnout affects us at work right our work performance goes down and when we're feeling like that we've got a problem to solve we we get stuck we want to work through lunch we think if we plow through it's going to solve the problem we don't realize that there's something in our brain called the dmn the default mode Network and what does that do well it does many things but two things it does is it helps us solve problems and it helps us be more creative now the dmn only gets activated when you switch off when you stop focusing on a task this is why some of us have our very best ideas when we're out for a walk or when we're in the shower I know for me some of my best ideas come when I'm in the shower each morning because you've Switched Off you don't have your emails you're not focused on anything so your brain tries to solve those problems for you so again diary end that 10 or 15 minute walking break every lunch time in the moment it will feel like nothing but if you do that five days a week even seven days a week you will very quickly start to notice a big big difference the other thing I want to mention on rest let's say you like to watch documentaries for example as part of your relaxation I'm okay with that I'm not saying don't do that but start to pay attention to how you feel after particular genres right if you watch quite an agitating one with a lot of anger and judgment and cynicism in it how do you feel afterwards do you feel as though you've rested or do you feel kind of agitated in your body and then contrast that to when you're watching something relaxing maybe something with nature in it maybe a feel-good story how do you feel in your body then because then you'll start to educate yourself on what the right kind of rest is for you now I just want to mention something here that's relevant to some of the things I've just been talking about I recently spoke to a chap called Stephen kotler he's a human performance expert and he co-founded the flow research collective in Canada and him and his team have done some research and they have shown that it is almost impossible to burn out if you do three things number one if you get seven to eight hour sleep a night number two if you access flow one to two times a week so what's flow well flow is an altered state of consciousness it's a state you get in when you're fully concentrating you'll feel as though your perception of time is changing some people will say time just stood still and it's usually those activities that you enjoy and that you fully immersed in but usually it's when the focus that's required to do it is a little bit more than your ability level so you have to stay focused but it's not so hard that you think this is unachievable when you switch off and if you're struggling to know what your flow activities are think about the sorts of things you used to enjoy as a child or as a teenager you know Common examples are playing musical instruments skiing rock climbing could be reading all kinds of things but again Stephen says if you can access flow once to twice a week it really helps prevent burnouts the third thing he says that really helps you avoid burnouts is regular active recovery but what does that mean well passive recovery as Stephen puts it is a glass of wine and a TV show that's very different for your body than active recovery which is more like yoga or a walk in nature or an Epsom salt bath so just remember that those are three things that if you do regularly make it very unlikely that you're going to burn out and I think that helps to bring some of the ideas I've already mentioned together in one place the seventh thing I want you to think about is movement one of the problems when people are on the road to burnout or even when they've got all out burnouts is that they don't move you know I've already mentioned that one of the signs of burnout is when we start to neglect our self-care and because people feel lacking in motivation low in energy you know they're procrastinating they can't make decisions they end up not moving their bodies they often think oh I don't have energy to move and the interesting about movement is that it will change your state guaranteed right sometimes they were feeling stressed and agitated and anxious getting out there and moving our body let's say with a walk or even two minutes of skipping or jumping jacks will calm everything down you'll burn off that stress but it also works the other way if you're feeling low energy if you're struggling with motivation sometimes movement will give you energy just think about the last time you couldn't be bothered going to the gym or perhaps you procrastinated for an hour shall I go for a walk shall I not go for a walk up it's raining not sure I've got time but then you actually went how did you feel afterwards did you regret it or did you afterwards feel wow man I'm so glad I went I don't think anybody has ever regretted going for a walk we always feel better afterwards so this is all about making sure you're moving your body every day even at 10 or 15 minute walk will make a big difference step number eight pay attention to your food intake again this fits the theme of the last step which is about movements when people are feeling close to burnouts or on the road to burnout they stop looking after themselves and food your nutrition is absolutely key here if you're feeling bad and you start to have more sugar more ice cream more highly processed foods you start snacking more you're eating late at night it's simply not going to help you it's going to make matters worse and I know in that moment where you can't be bothered to cook the easiest thing in the world is to phone for a takeaway or go on an app on your phone depending on where you live in the world and actually get something delivered to you but please try and make healthier choices as much as possible make sure you've got healthy food at home make sure you've got things that you enjoy that are going to support your health and well-being at home if you've run out of foods it's going to be easy to go and order that takeaway you know try not to snack late at night in front of the television because we know that late night snacking for some people can really impact the quality of their sleep and you know getting better sleepers on this 10 step action plan we want you to get better sleep and eating late will often get in the way of that also do pay attention to comfort eating but I get it in those moments where you've got no energy and you feel low you just think I'm going to eat something to make myself feel better and I get it in the moment it does make you feel better but it comes with a long-term cost and if you're doing this all the time it's going to keep you lots in a vicious cycle so the next time you have that urge to open that packet of crisps all those biscuits why don't you just try this just take a quick pause and ask yourself what am I really feeling here is this physical hunger or emotional hunger you know a lot of the time that we turn to Foods it's because there's something emotional going on maybe you feel lonely maybe you want to say hi to your partner or give a friend a call instead maybe you feel like you've had no time to yourself all day right and you've just been working so this is your treat for you okay but maybe you can treat yourself in another way maybe you can run yourself a bath and kind of enjoy being there for 20 minutes looking after yourself why so pay attention to the foods that you're putting into your body it's going to make a big difference to your recovery step number nine is to define the end of your work day now this is a really really important step that I actually think you can start to implement immediately our to-do lists are never done these days because of modern technology because of the way that we work there's always something else to do always let's say you miraculously clear all the new emails in your inbox right I don't know that's possible but let's say you managed to do that the minute you finish and let's say you go off somewhere for a walk or you know make yourself a cup of tea there's a very good chance that other emails have started to arrive you can't control that emails are always going to come in this is just one example right so you can constantly be working and I've seen this in so many patients they don't put up boundaries so therefore they're still working after dinner right you couldn't do this 20 30 years ago you'd have had to have stopped and Switched Off spent time if you've got a family with your family if you don't spent time doing something enjoyable for yourself but now you don't have to do that you can keep plugging away and of course you keep doing this month after month year after year this is going to put you on the road to burnouts so a really helpful tip here is to say what does done look like today and this is actually something that I discuss in a wonderful conversation I had on my podcast with Greg McEwen who I've already mentioned right Greg's got another phrase that I really really like if you don't prioritize your life someone else will in fact I like that phrase so much I've got it up on the wall in my house and that's what this tip really is about you've got to Define what done means for you maybe it's at 5 00 PM I'm gonna stop working or maybe it's I've got these 10 tasks to do today but once I've done these six important ones if that's the end of the day that's the end of the day if you don't do it nobody is going to do it for you it's about setting boundaries it's about taking a moment to go now this is important today everything's not important you may think it is but it isn't so why not at the start of each day Define if I get these things done today that's good enough and this is something that's really simple but really really effective and the final step step 10 on this action plan is a bit more about the bigger picture a lot of the time we end up on the road to burnout and getting burnt out is because we're not living a life that's in alignment with who we really are daily actions are not aligned with our values we're offered in jobs that we don't really enjoy and there's elements of those jobs that don't really sit right with us I think it's really important for me to say here that I get it sometimes you have to do a job that you don't particularly like because that's how you feed yourself that's how you feed your family and put a roof over your heads I understand that so this advice is going to be different for different people at different stages of their lives but even if that is you it's so worth having a think about what aren't my values is there still the job I want to be doing in two years and three years and five years and I'd encourage you maybe once a week just sit down and write down what are some of the core values that Encompass who I am and who I want to be doesn't need to take long even just one value would start to help you you know I've done this many times over the years what I would say right now is that my three core values are integrity compassion and curiosity and those are the three values that I like to bring to every aspect of my life my personal life yes but also my work life and if I look back on my career at times when I was getting frustrated and overworking and getting quite resentful about work often one of those values was being violated I think this is one of the most important things that you can spend time with yes to how you're feeling right now but also for your long-term health and happiness you may not be able to change everything straight away but if you've never spent a moment to think about what it is you truly want out of life you're going to find yourself falling into the same traps over and over again and if you're struggling with this why not do this exercise of writing down some of your core values with a friend or maybe your partner some examples of values or things that you value right this is not an exhaustive list but just to get you thinking things like Solitude nature the environments creativity curiosity compassion honesty integrity you know maybe you're hearing all of those ago yeah like all of them that's fine just pick one two or three just to get you started and maybe every Sunday you sit down with them and go how much of my life this week did I live in accordance with those values and how much of my life was in conflict with them and I think you'll be surprised at how much you learn about yourself because these are the really really important lessons that will help you get out of the jam that you're currently in but will also help you with your long-term health and happiness I know that if you start to implement that action plan into your own life you are going to start seeing results immediately remember you do not have to do all of them at once pick one thing start small and build up with time this is maybe seven or eight years ago okay I was I was in a I was in a busy Medical Clinic and a 42 year old gentleman came in to see me and he was suffering with the kind of problem that many people these days are complaining of there'll be people listening to this podcast right now who are suffering with these complaints he was a little bit overweight he was struggling a bit with his mood and he felt exhausted all the time okay so three very common things now we were chatting and as I was you know unpacking his story it was very clear to me that his lifestyle was contributing to a lot of his symptoms right so I discussed a number of options with him and we you know we went through all kinds of things but the one that he really liked was strength training he says doc yeah what strength Wayne's gonna do that for me right I'm in you know I've not done strength training since I was a teenager it used to make me feel really good but you're saying it's going to help me with my energy it might help me with my mood and with my weight why I'd love to do that I said okay great let's just start there then and he said to me shall I do 40 minutes three times a week in the gym as I've read and I said hey look if you can do that that would be amazing so he said yeah I'm in right so I give him a follow-up appointment for four weeks time he walks out big smile on his face um you know Standing Tall uh feeling motivated that he's got his plan of action four weeks later he comes in to see me and I said hey how are you getting on and he looks a bit different his shoulders were rolled over a little bit and he and he he spoke a bit softly he said hey Doc um you know what I've not really managed to go yet you know work's been really busy it's been quite stressful the Gym's actually quite far from my works it's quite hard to get to and it's quite expensive I've not done it yet okay and he looked and felt like a complete failure that he couldn't do what I'd asked him to do or what he thought he was going to do I remember dreaming that moment I did not think why has he not done what I've asked him to do I thought wrong why have you given him advice the advice you've given him clearly doesn't feel relevant to him in the context of his life so I thought okay I've got to change it I took my jacket off and I said right I'm going to teach you a five minute workout right now that you can just do without any equipment so he goes okay so I taught him these five exercises I modified them for his ability level I said what do you think can you do that he goes yeah no problem easy I said okay can you do it uh five minutes twice a week in your kitchen and he said what 10 minutes a week is that all you're asking me to do I said yeah can you do that he goes yeah easy course I can do that I said okay I'll see you in four weeks so he goes out I think a little bit confused with what I'd ask him to do it wasn't what he was used to four weeks later he comes back in true and I remember when he came through the door his his chest is puffed out he's standing up tall big smile on his face I said how are you getting on he goes doc man you told me to do 10 minutes a week right I love it so much it makes me feel so good I do it now for 10 minutes every evening before I have my evening meal now Drew he has done that for over five years when he tried to do 40 minutes three times a week at the gym he couldn't manage anything but when I made it easy for him he now does 70 minutes of strength training a week 10 minutes seven days a week right it becomes a part of his life and what did that lead to that led to what I talk about in the book I call it the ripple effect he started with that that led to him changing his eating habits sleeping better now because I saw him recently he does 10 minutes of breath work every morning when he wakes up right this was a million miles away from where he was seven eight years ago but by starting small by making him feel good about himself he does more not because I've told him to not because I've asked him to but because he wants to and that's the secret to behavior change and you can literally unpack the entire book in that story because the various elements of behavior change are all there um and so you know I'd love to share to people what what were the what what were the secrets in what I asked them to do that actually work because at the time Drew I did not know the science of behavior change I was going on intuition and gut feeling as a clinician it was only when I actually met BJ Fogg uh last year you know I'm as I always do now I was staying with you and I I flew off uh to I think Santa Rosa and I did sort of boot camp with BJ and we just hit it off like a house on fire and we what we loved was the idea he said wrong and what's really interesting you're telling me things that you've figured out from 20 years clinical experience that my 20 years clinical research has shown me it was this beautiful intersection of me as a clinician what have I seen work with real patients with real busy lives and families it matched up it married up beautifully with his research which is shown if you want to make long-term Behavior change for most people you've got to start small that's so true and I remember you telling me that you were gonna go see BJ and I was like I went and did one of his early workshops almost like five seven years ago and he had us like training goats and other things and really you know there was experts from all around the world they were at this Workshop that I remember from different companies and as you've mentioned you know he's been influential and inspiring you know some of the behavior changes that are being used in apps like Instagram and kind of like you know a lot of other technologies that are out there and I can remember one central idea that was there is that sometimes when you're an expert in a field you forget that it took you years to develop the habits that you have right now but think about a category or think about something in your life that you want to do that you're not good at yet let somebody let's say somebody has mastered their diet and they're working out but they have not mastered their finances right so think about something that you care about but you haven't gotten good at yet now wouldn't you want some of you to tell you how to break it down in a simple way that could lead to those results of course you would so why wouldn't you want to take the material you have now to set it up in a practical way because the truth is is that podcasts and all these books they're great information and you and I know many of the health authors that put out this stuff and they're not doing it on purpose but there's a lot of information that's out there that has not gone through the lens of behavior change so the audience listens to it and they get overwhelmed and they never end up doing anything yeah you just nailed it through for me and that was the real motivation behind writing this book is there's a lot of what you should be doing out there in Hell there's many Brilliant Health books out there saying what you should be doing but there's not many how-to books on health and my book is a how to how do you put into practice all the great information that you may have heard on my show on your show on other amazing podcasts out there but they stay as ideas and they stay as inspiration how do you actually go and take action because there is a system human behavior change is not as hard as we think it is but we don't follow the system we don't follow the the kind of rules and I sort of outline six rules in the book but I wonder if you'd mind if I shared two rules what I consider to be two of the most important rules so rule one is you've got to start easy you've got to make it easy you got to start small okay that's that's rule number one that is exactly what I did with that patient right um now let's let's let's take it out of Health for a minute because I think people really get it so many people I'm sure listen to this shop on Amazon right if they didn't before the pandemic they certainly were during the pandemic it was one of the only shops open I think throughout the world so a lot of people shop on Amazon now when Amazon moved to one click ordering maybe five years ago or so estimates say that their profits went up by 300 million dollars a year now let's think about that why would that make profits go up that much that quickly well Amazon understand the rules of behavior change they understand that if you make something easy people will do it five six years ago what did you have to do you'd go on Amazon you'd click what you wanted then there's another screen confirm it another screen put in your card details again one more just to check everything okay that's four or five steps you have to take to make a purchase every step you have to take is a reason to back out and not do the Behavior now they make it one click ordering boom before you've even blinked you have an email saying a parcel is arriving the following morning it's that easy to do it so that you do it right Netflix you should do the same thing why does Netflix roll one episode into the next episode right so it's so you realize before you you know instead of looking at your watch thinking oh it's midnight I've got work tomorrow I need to go to bed and get up early you're into the next episode and you're hooked right they make it easy for you to do the behavior they want you to do now I'm not criticizing those guys right they're using Behavior change to help you to help you know to help them have you use their services more right and as a business I get it but I'm saying somehow when we talk about human behavior change particularly health we think it's got to be hard it's got to be about deprivation it's got to be about punishment it can't be easy right but how could it be easy so we make it hard so we say on January the 1st right I'm going spinning four times a week this year in the gym and you know what you do it for a week you do it for two weeks but when motivation Falls as it always does suddenly you'll no longer do it and I know you've had BJ on the show and I think it's always worth a recap um why starting why making something easy is so important is because we overly rely on motivation we think motivation will last forever we make our health plans we we sort of what we do Drew is that we don't understand the motivation a BJ calls it a motivation wave so motivation comes up motivation comes down we make our health plans at the peak of the motivation wave but I would say you should make them at the trough of the wave because then on those days when you're busy when you're stressed out when you don't have time when your motivation is right down you will still do a behavior if it is easy to do you know when your motivation's up true you'll do anything if you're super motivated to make a change yeah you'll go running 45 minutes a day fine the problem is when motivation runs out you'll stop doing it so I think rule number one is you've got to start small okay and I've seen that over and over again rule number two is where do you put that habit in the day and a lot of people don't think about the placement of that habit they think oh I'll do it oh I heard a podcast I I heard a broken brain show about meditation right so they get inspired they go well I'm going to meditate but they don't have a system they think hey they make it too hard sometimes I say I'm going to meditate for half an hour a day which again is unrealistic for most beginners but but then they don't spend any time thinking about where is this going to go in my day and where you put that habit in your day is very important so every single human behavior needs a trigger to actually take to to do the behavior you know we're having a conversation right now to do that we needed a trigger now the trigger might have been our memory oh I must remember to call Drew at the time that we've agreed I must remember to meditate okay now that works it just happens to be a very unreliable trigger so if you are relying on that to do your health behavior is probably not going to work for a lot of the time the next form of trigger is a notification or a reminder like a Post-It note on the fridge or a pop-up on your phone you know very much like oh on my Google Calendar it came up saying hey in 20 minutes you've got a conversation with Drew okay that also works as a reminder but the very best form trigger is when you stick on your new Behavior onto an existing behavior that you are already doing without thinking about it so you stick on the new Behavior onto a habit that you already have so for me for example Drew I work out for five minutes every morning and I don't think I missed a day in about three years okay why because every morning I make myself a coffee like I don't need a reminder on my phone to say make a coffee right I don't need my PA to phone me and say wrong and you must remember to make your coffee today no no I'm gonna do that that's a habit that's imprinted in so when I weigh out my coffee beans and I put them in the French press and I put a timer on for four or five minutes whilst it's Brewing I don't go on Instagram I don't go on email I do a five minute Body Weight Workout in my kitchen in my pajamas right now that's so important that's why I haven't missed a workout for three years because I don't have to rely on motivation motivation it's a part of my routine I make coffee I work out I make coffee I work out I don't have to get changed I don't have to decide what workout I'm doing I don't need to drive to a gym so all these potential decisions that that become procrastination and become a reason to back out of the behavior I don't have I just get it done and you know most people would consider to me and me to be in pretty reasonable shape and I don't go to gyms but I do a five minute workout every day and so I've really Incorporated that I've made it easy and they've stuck it on to an existing behavior and you'll remember that case study I told you at the start I shared with you about this 42 year old chap I said do it in your kitchen and I think kitchens are one of the most powerful places to work out because people are in them at least once a day most people are in their kitchen at least once a day so I was just imprinted I was just putting it out there for him do it when you're in your kitchen now he's figured out himself oh while my peas are boiling or steaming or my broccoli is I'll kind of do my workout in the meantime and then I get to reward myself with dinner and I'm not saying you have to follow that strategy but what I'm saying is you need a strategy you cannot leave it up to just right I've read this great book I've heard this amazing podcast I'm gonna do it that may work for some people but many people and this is one of the biggest problems Drew today I would say is that we're surrounded by so much brilliant health information whether it's on podcasts and books on Instagram you know we can often feel as though we're doing something but we've done nothing we listened to a podcast we agree with the content but we haven't done anything with that we just got inspired we see everything like edutainment you know educational entertainment it's more yeah watching like a Netflix show uh about something and then feeling like you've done it but it doesn't mean that you necessarily have and I'm guilty of that right I like what I'm saying is that's that's a I think that is natural for I consume HealthPark you know it's not a failing I'm not sort of making people feel bad about that I'm saying that's the reality and so what my book is about is about I'm helping you take action and what I figured out to you in in this social media introspection time I actually realized why this book has struck a chord with so many people and why it's helping literally everyone who picks it up because actually that book is applicable to everyone no matter what you want in life if you want to improve your life in any way whether it's performance at work whether it's more focus more concentration longevity it's going to help you if you want it to help a symptom like anxiety depression type 2 diabetes the book will also help you because they're Universal principles of Health but what I've realized why I think it's been so profound and why so many companies have me go and talk to them about implementing this as their sort of well-being program is because I'm helping people change their identity through action and I really think it's that it's really that important it's often we have an identity like that patient let's go back to that 42 year old chap right so what happened with him he comes in after four weeks feels like a failure it's like I told the doc I was gonna do 40 minutes three times a week he comes in he's talking softly his shoulders are rolled over he he's becoming he he's reinforcing the belief that he has of himself that I'm someone who can't stick to health plans you know I can't stick to programs I just can't do this stuff Suddenly by flipping it by making it easy so he can do it right he comes in four weeks time with different body language with a smile on his face speaking in a different way so not only is he doing something that's going to help his health I've helped him change his identity now drew his identity is of someone who can stick to health plans I can do what the doctors asked me to do I'm showing myself on a daily basis I no matter how bad my day is I've still prioritized myself and given me five minutes of time to be proactive for my health and actually I don't think I quite got it when I was writing the book it's only on that reflection and seeing the feedback in the UK I I'm I'm changing I'm helping people to change who they are through what they do because momentum creates momentum right both positively we can spiral upwards and also in the opposite way too 100 and that's the key and look some people will say look I get this doc do I understand what you're saying but for me I just decided I was going to get healthy and I changed overnight I will say there are some people who can do that there's no question in my experience it tends to be people who have had some kind of painful life experience it could be you know a bereavement it could be you know they lost you know they've they've had a relationship breakup it could be you know like it could be that they've suddenly had a health complaint so that suddenly they've got angina in their 40s and think right I've got to stop smoking I can't do this anymore you know I'm gonna die soon if I don't make it make some sort of change sure I get it for some people things can get so bad that they can use motivation to get them going but I say for the vast majority of people drew it's not enough if you are planning to make a change on motivation alone I unfortunately think that it's not going to be as long lasting as you would like so yeah I I actually think take action you know if or someone does you know although the program is five minutes from mind five minutes from body financing from heart so really to fully do it it's 15 minutes a day even if all you do is take one of the actions and cement it in for five minutes a day so it becomes a habit you know what that will still get you on the road to recovery that'll still get you on the road and as you say momentum builds but you've got to start somewhere it's so true give us an idea of why and how you came up with mind body and heart and some sample exercises you already talked about the body and the kitchen and doing that but you know heart is an interesting one I think a lot of people are wondering like okay why why is that included into the mix yeah so I remember Drew sitting down trying to write this a little I can't remember when it was now a year year and a half ago and I thought I know five minutes works because I've seen it over it over and over again with patience but I thought well I believe in holistic health so it can't just be about five minute workouts and I was really trying to figure out how do I make a really simple structure because I think Simplicity is key like I think if you really want people to do things the simpler you can make it the more impact things have and I think it's hard to make things simple that's why I'm very very proud of this book because um it took a long time to try and condense and distill something down to what I hope is the essence of Health simplicity but I thought what are those components and how can I still keep it simple and I thought okay well everyone knows that we should move more so of course one component is going to be physical health you know moving your body for at least five minutes a day I thought well mental health is super important so let's do a five minute mind heart snack as well so when I say mind that's about your mental health that's the idea that 21st century living is tormenting our minds you know we're overloaded with information we're overloaded with things to do in the UK one in four people in any given year are going to be diagnosed with a new mental health diagnosis you know I think depression I think is the the common one sorry the statistic is actually one in four people in the UK are going to be diagnosed with depression okay in any given year which is a staggering amounts of people and really reflective of that there's something going on in society that is not you know harmonious to our mental health that's just one example of that but then I thought there's still something missing there's mental health there's physical health and you know we've spoken about this before how important human connection is and that's when I got it I thought it's heart it's it's heart and I tell you why I call it heart because heart's a little bit confusing because when people hear about a doctor talking about heart health they're thinking about cardiovascular health rights so the way I describe it is this when I went to medical school I was taught about the hearts and what I was taught is that it is a physical organ it's a muscle in your chest that pumps blood around your body and that is true that is what the heart does but Drew Hart's got another meaning as well it's the meaning that poets and artists and songwriters have been waxing lyrical about for years and that is the essence of what it means to be a human being it's about Connections when we connect with other people with our hearts and we know full well how important heart health or human connection is for our health we we knew it the research has been there for many years now anyway you know last time I was on your show I was sharing some of the research which I know you've shared as well about some statistics are suggesting that you know the feeling of being lonely can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes per day people who feel lonely are 50 more likely to die earlier 30 more likely to have a heart attack or stroke you know this may be a psychological component of feeling lonely but it causes real physical biological changes in our body and I thought you know I have to tackle that because this is one of the most important components of health and like I don't differentiate in the book between what's more important than others but if you pushed me I'd say heart health is the most important because what I have found Drew is if you pay attention to heart's Health if you pay attention to daily human connection often your mental health and your physical health take care of themselves often the our lifestyle choices or the or the decisions our lifestyle we make are as a consequence feeling isolated and feeling alone therefore we binge on sugar because we feel alone we sit there we don't want to get up and actually move our bodies because we feel alone we feel stressed out impacts our mental health because we feel alone and you know I put this this is the final section of the book and actually say at the start I think in the introduction I say you may be skeptical about this part and that's kind of why I put it at the end I thought let me give people what they're sort of used to getting and they they're sort of okay with and then let me build the case for them as to why heart's health is so important and that is the one that I think is connected most with people um they but you know actually someone one of the early readers of the book uh said you know adult chatty is interesting I actually thought I was pretty healthy you know I do Pilates regularly I eat pretty well but I realized I do nothing in heart South I live by myself and I'm actually really really lonely and what she has adopted from the book is she now makes an effort every evening or sometimes in the day if she has time she will phone a friend or her mother every day and it sometimes it's just a few minutes so it could be just a quick five minute call but she connects each day with a human being that means something to her and she you know she sent me a few messages and she said that the difference has been amazing the way she feels about herself the other sort of you know the bits of snacking of sugar or drinking a little bit too much alcohol at the weekend it's all gone not because she was trying to reduce them but because she no longer needed to substitute something in her life for what she was lacking and you know there are actually more so the structure of the book is in each of the sections there is a selection of what we call what I call five minute Health snacks right I quite like that as a concept for people these are just Health snacks there's I think 30 or 45 minute Health snacks in the book and I say choose one for mind one from body and one from hearts and do them each day um really really simple so you said give some examples so in body there's there's lots of different five-minute workouts in the book okay but they all have got this in common none of them requires to join a gym none of them requires to buy any equipment none of them require you to get changed right again I'm using the science of behavior change okay look if I make it easy if you don't need to buy something if you don't even need to get changed you've got less reasons to say no how many people drew and I include myself in this have used ah got a 10 minutes away to the gym not today I'll do it another time or oh you know I don't have the right equipments I I would do that but I don't have the pieces of equipment that they need me to so of course I can't do it so let me put Netflix on instead right I'm removing those excuses from people with compassion right I'm not criticizing people for not doing I'm saying I'm going to remove them so literally you have no reason why you can't do it and there are strength workouts interval workouts yoga flows playful workouts dancing right one of the one of the five minute house snacks in in body is dancing right easy it doesn't cost any money I say dance to your favorite tune put on find a time in your day and I was doing this for a while with my daughter before dinner uh we'd we'd crank on the tunes and we'd answer five to ten minutes together that's movement right we're so conditioned due to thinking that movement has to have a name right oh you know I've done body pump where I've done Pilates or I've done yoga hold on a minute why can't dancing count all we're talking about is moving your body and so you know I think I've made it I've I think not only if I'm trying to make Health practical in this book I'd like to think I've made it fun why it's we we've we very much had this mindset that it's got to be about deprivation it's got to be hard it's got to be about punishment I'm like saying well hold on why don't we reframe it what if we make Health fun like a fun activity I I bet that most people will read those Health snaps and go they all sound pretty cool actually I'd quite like to do them right because if it's not fun we're not going to keep it up you know willpower is a finite resource and every so often we have to tap into it but we don't want to tap into it for everything that's there for us because it's not a sustainable way to do it so if we can't have fun in the process we're just not going to keep it up that's why when I look at my friends who I feel not only eat healthy but live healthy and feel great they're people that keep it up because they enjoy it you know nobody's forcing you nobody's forcing me to be this way we're going to do these things because it actually is fun and it pays the dividends from having executed um which leads into the next thing that I want to talk to you about you know a big reason why people stop any kind of plan that they do is because they're hard on themselves they're hard on themselves because they set very high expectations of how something's going to happen they're going to be perfect at it naturally we can't be perfect at things all the time they fail and they get so hard on themselves is there any exercises or snacks as you say in the heart section that really relate to self-forgiveness or self-compassion for the folks who are listening who are like I had all these goals this year I had not only New Year's resolutions but on top of that I had all these things that I wanted to do and then the pandemic hit and I couldn't do them and now I'm just struggling to just make it through the day so are there things that people can bring in to start to let go or forgive or step back into self-love to let go of all that unnecessary noise that they might have been holding on to yeah I think it's such a great point you raised Drew uh yes that the answer is yes there absolutely are there's a lot of Health stats that will help them um and I think I think one of the fundamental issues there is that if someone can't do something that they've set out to do let's say they fail in achieving the the sort of behavior that they wanted to they then think they are a failure so so that you you can fail at bringing in a health snack into your life but that doesn't mean you're a failure and I think it's about this whole idea of identity we often Define ourselves by whether we can do this health plan or not whereas actually we've got to have a bit of distance there it's like okay maybe that was the wrong health plan for me maybe I couldn't do it for whatever reason but irrespective of that it doesn't Define who I am I'm still you know a wonderful human being who has so much to offer the world who's uh an amazing parent who's got amazing friends you know it's when we when we conflate it all together that we're either feeling on top of the world because we've been to the gym four times a week and therefore not only is my health good but I am good and if we don't do it I failed at Health but I've also failed at being myself and we need to start bringing in a bit of Separation so one of the exercises in the book is about writing down each day five things you love about yourself okay very simple very very simple many people find it hard to do and actually if you find it hard to do it's a very good indication that it's probably an exercise you should spend a bit more time with it can really very quickly build up self-esteem when you realize your weight your ability to stick to a health plan does not define you you are separate from that you could be an amazing person you could be an amazing friend you could be a caregiver there could be so many other things about you that are wonderful but if you don't remind yourself on about them on a daily basis you can soon suppress it down and you could feel that you're worthless and so there are many more exercises like that but that's one that comes to mind there's there's a lot of gratitude exercises in there uh droop that also help with this because when you feel gratitude when you feel great for for things around you it's you know it puts life in a bit of perspective um you you know it's it's it's hard to be hard on yourself when you're feeling grateful and I'm I know you've talked about gratitude on this podcast before I'm sure we've spoken about it before but it's always worth reiterating because again we're conditioned to think there's got to be something cool and new out there that I haven't heard yet that this is the missing secret I'm waiting for no you know what I'm glad if we're repeating gratitude I'm glad if we said it before I'm glad if you bring it up every other show of yours because you know what I hope that at some point people listen go you know what I've heard all these different people talking about gratitude maybe it's time I start bringing in a daily gratitude practice do you know what I mean it's like I really think we want something new and fresh but we know the rules of good health we we know what we should be doing we're just not doing it so gratitude really helps that I've got I think two or three gratitude exercises one that I think I've shared before but I will share again because it is what I do and I love it and it's something that I've been doing for years it's what I do with my wife and my children we answer three questions what have I done today to make somebody else happy what has somebody else done today to make me happy and what have I learned today um very simple very very effective and again let's talk about the rules of behavior change why do I manage to do that every day well we have chosen that we do it at the dinner table right so why is that it's it sounds so simple but I'm gonna spell it out Drew because I really want people to understand this by having it over dinner it means I don't need to motivate myself I don't need to go somewhere to do it I don't need to find five minutes in my schedule to do it no I'm gonna have dinner right that's not negotiable most days I have dinner and particularly in the pandemic I've been having them at home with my wife with my children that's been one of the most wonderful things for me is the amount of time I've got to spend with my family during this period and during the meal we go around the table with the grasses in fact you've done it with us I think last when you were at last in my house yes I remember doing it with you guys yeah it was fantastic but it's super simple and if people don't like that one fine choose another one you know there are many ways to do gratitude but the point is someone could get inspired but they then got to figure out when they're going to do it so that may work for you you may want to do it around one of your meal times but what if you want to do it before you go to bed okay fine that's a great sign for many people it can really help put them in a in a really good frame of mind to sleep so I would give you a recommendation get a journal get a pen keep it on your bedside table now it sounds like I'm talking to children but these are just basic rules that work if you have a pen and a journal on your bedside table you are being visually prompted every night when you go to bed you're seeing it there you don't have to go ah gratitude yeah I want to write it down but it's downstairs it's in the other room I don't have a pen No make it simple make it easy for you to do the behavior and you will do it it reminds me a bit of um there's a there's this sort of 48 year old lady um who had migraines and she was you know her husband was busy she worked a busy job she had three children and I got to know her true and I thought I think stress is playing a big role here she seems very very stressy a lot of stress in her life and she said yeah I get it but you know it's not that it's something else and anyway I can't do anything about that and okay I I was trying various ways to sort of connect with her I suggested yoga she goes oh doctor I knew you'd say that I'm not a yoga's not for me right she goes I'll try if you want but it's not for me anyway she came back she couldn't do it it just wasn't for her and I was trying I knew that something was likely to help her if I could find the right thing she said I'm too busy for this stuff anyway and then we got talking and I don't know if this is a craze in the states like it is in the UK but there's a big craze now in adult coloring books yeah it's a big crazier too yeah yeah because because when you're coloring something intricate your mind switches off you are in the moment you often access flow States and she said I I love doing that but I don't get any time I said okay okay tell me about your day I said okay well my mornings are really busy I don't have time in the morning I get up I've got to get my three kids ready for school I said okay do you do anything she goes yeah I go down and I make myself a cup of tea I thought okay cool here we go so I said what if when you go to make that cup of tea you actually do a bit of coloring at the same time and she said well I sort of I said look are the kids you know the kids are old enough now they can sort of do a little bit by themselves what if you made that cup of tea and whilst you were drinking it you just shut yourself in the living room for five minutes and did some coloring she said well yeah I guess so I don't really feel I've got time but I guess I probably could anyway to cut a long story short Drew she started doing that within four or five days the the sort of frequency of a migraines had gone down by about 50 or so and literally within about six to eight weeks she was hardly guessing them anymore now I'm not saying that happens in every case but what happened Drew is that she would access five minutes of flow state every morning she would just it's almost like when I said pulling what I said at the start when I just pulled the plug on social media for three weeks it just gave me access to things that I wasn't accessing it's kind of like what happened for her just allowing herself five minutes to herself to tap in to do something that nourished her mind that led to Ripple effects for him other aspects of her life and actually led to a complete reduction in how many migraines she got um and again she had to she came in a few times she had to remember I gotta keep the coloring book and the coloring pens next to my Kettle in the kitchen why is that important because if you come down and you put the kettle on and your coloring book is there but the Crayons aren't there and they're in a different room it just leads to procrastination it leads to ah you know I don't have them today I didn't have time anyway today I'll do it tomorrow and then you it becomes a second day and a third day and before you know it it was something you used to do and I I really I I feel like I'm going on a bit here but I really want people to get this choose a behavior and instead of looking for a new miracle cure each week spend your time and energy implementing that behavior in your life experiment where should that behavior go is it best one in the morning is it good for me in my lunch break is it you know after I put the kids to bed you know what is it where does that behavior go and that's where people will find the gold there's another really powerful exercise that I found transformative many of my patients have as well that's called Write your happy ending I think you're really going to enjoy it check it out right now out by watching this video I understand you feel lost you don't have the motivation to do the things that you know you want to do the things that you said you were going to do

Channel: Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Views: 174,160

Keywords: the4pillarplan, thestresssolution, feelbetterin5, wellness, drchatterjee, feelbetterlivemore, ranganchatterjee, 4pillars, drchatterjee podcast, health tips, nutrition tips, health hacks, live longer, age in reverse, self help, self improvement, self development, personal development, motivation, inspiration, health interview

Id: zyFwjvjuBPk

Length: 106min 19sec (6379 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 03 2022