Teresa's Story: I Was Trafficked By Jeffrey Epstein || Consider Before Consuming Podcast

grooming is the what I always refer to as essentially the gateway to abuse if you do not have if a predator is unable to successfully complete a grooming process then the abuse just doesn't really have the opportunity to happen and that is in person that is online which there is a uh a huge online presence of grooming and trafficking through online platforms currently [Music] foreign [Music] ERS who aren't familiar with who you are can you answer some general questions uh just like who you are where you're from before we dive into your experience and talk about sexual exploitation sure uh my name's Theresa amongst other things in life I am a survivor leader and an advocate and a mentor and a speaker uh and I advocate a lot for sexual abuse and exploitation survivors the other things that I am and I'm a mom of two amazing brilliant wonderful kids and I have a background in healthcare I'm a student midwife out of all of those things what are you most proud of uh being a mom yeah that's good yeah I was hoping that was going to be your answer for sure going back to one of the things on your resume you are currently working with nikosi can you speak to what they do who they are and what your role is there so nicosi is the national Center on sexual exploitation we are an organization nationally in both internationally that is uh fighting against sexual exploitation and abuse through advocacy we support survivors we are an organization of litigation uh with our nicosi's Law Center as we fight back and fight for survivors of image-based sexual assaults or um you know we fight for clients through litigation that have been exploited and I and the Survivor services coordinator with the Law Center and I provide ongoing support to survivors through the litigation process well we fight the new drug are big fans of nukosi and so we just want to express that and express how grateful for how grateful we are for the work that you're doing you mentioned the atnekosi you were called the Survivor leader did I get that right yes and what does that title mean to you means to me is that I'm taking my my experience of past trauma and I am regaining and reclaiming my power that uh was basically robbed from me through those experiences in the past and I am bringing those experiences forward uh to teach others in addition to healing myself uh which I believe there has to be a certain level of healing to be a Survivor leader and so through taking my experience and really shifting it and reclaiming my power to then go out and fight back and fight for others and teach others and support others so that we can as a whole you know really stake our claim and making change I want to ask you a question off the cuff I'm just going to follow my curiosity here and it's regarding trauma I recently learned from uh Professor because I'm also in school and she was talking about how she defines trauma as not the negative event but how our bodies respond to that negative event and so that was kind of new to me because I have I had always learned about trauma as being the traumatic event being the negative event where she defines trauma is how our bodies respond to that negative event so anyway I set that question up with that explanation and the question to you is how do you define trauma well I would say that in part she's entirely accurate because you know we all have what we would call a somatic response to trauma somatic means or Soma means body so we all have a physical mental emotional response to the actual event that traumatized us however the actual event uh you know that that is certainly a part of the trauma um where it crosses the line into the event versus the response um being the actual trauma you know those those lines intersect in inner cross at least in my viewpoint in perspective which may be different from someone else as a Survivor but they really yeah it's like an intersection yeah that makes sense so then my original question was about your healing process and you talked about how nicosi you have to have had experienced uh healing to be able to lead others and it's obvious that you've experienced healing but my question is since starting with nikosi have you experienced more healing because I don't know if a healing Journey ever is gonna end I don't think a healing Journey ever does end I do believe that I will be on the path always and the path will always shift and be different from time to time yeah um so certainly all the work that I do with nicosi prior to nicosi uh does help in the healing process right um helping others helps yourself yeah in return as well right helping is healing yeah is what I always say often is helping is healing for sure yes I think that it's important for our listeners to understand what is sex trafficking can you start off by giving the definition of how what is sex trafficking it sex trafficking is um it's sexual abuse trauma exploitation by force fraud coercion or some type of gain from another party it's a psychological process usually it often happens within family dynamic so it's you know it's the violation of another human being uh for someone else's gain yeah that's ultimately what it is yeah now that we know what trafficking is regarding you said you use the words Force fraud coercion um what about grooming what does grooming look like and why is it important that we understand that process yeah well grooming is the what I always refer to as essentially the gateway to abuse if you do not have if a predator is unable to successfully complete a grooming process then the abuse just doesn't really have the opportunity to happen and that is in person that is online which there is a uh a huge online presence of grooming and trafficking through online platforms currently uh so grooming will be very psychological it's it is you know the components to it are befriending uh building Trust isolating um flattery if it's in person you might notice a child uh with you know special items that they wouldn't normally have new shoes multiple cell phones um they might start to pull away from their typical activities that they've always enjoyed friends that they've always hung out with they might choose to start to avoid um and again that's kind of where the isolation starts um and again online as well you know we have online platforms chat rooms where predators are basically lurking seeking uh start you know they initiate conversations and they ask questions then the questions lead to you know what the child or the minor might consider an online friendship and then you know questions of what they like to do where they are start to come into play and you know again there's the build of the friendship and there's the build of the trust and then there's once the trust is established then other psychological factors come into play and there can be some blackmail and requests for photos and the isolation continues and um once it has reached that point um a an online Predator has pretty much sealed the deal on the process of grooming and that targeted individual online um well they then they now are controlled typically controlled by this uh online predator some of these things can also be blind like you can blame changes in mood and increased isolation on just being an adolescent or being a kid right and I think that's one of the difficult things that we as parents we as caregivers um we have to identify and then address is Right some of these changes it could be that your kids being groomed or it could be that you're just the kids just experiencing what it is to be an adolescent with different hormonal changes and whatnot so how do parents identify if this is just a change in Behavior that's normal with adolescent growth or if it's actual actually a potential grooming process will parents like it or not are going to have to be uh really nosy and they're going to have to what the teenager will inevitably say is a violation of their privacy but the parents will have to understand and learn and know who they're talking to online they'll need to know who their friends are online and in the real world yeah they'll need to ask lots of questions all the time they'll need to get to the point where their teenager swears up and down that they're the worst parent ever for asking all the questions because number one better safe than sorry always you never know when it's going to happen and I think that one of the most biggest somewhat simple messages that I can express I mean I really would like to you know shout it from the rooftops is don't ever assume it will not or could not happen to your family Online safety especially uh should be as basic as wearing a seat belt well one of the strengths that you have uh in your position at nicosi and just all the things that you're up to is that you do have personal experience with exploitation unfortunately the the strength you have it's unfortunate that you have to have that right but your negative experiences the trauma you've experienced they and because you've healed from them and are pressing forward and all those things you are stronger today because of that negative experience is that safe to say or no well yeah I mean I'm certainly I would feel that I have a Warrior's Heart um so strength is definitely something that I have cultivated yes yeah before we jump into your experience a little bit more can you speak to that how your experience has empowered you to provide improved and effective trauma-informed care yeah because as a survivor there are you know when you walk into as a Survivor you walk into a room with other survivors there's a a nearly immediate unspoken Bond you know we wouldn't there could be 10 of us in a room and not necessarily have to say a word yeah but feel a bond just being there together knowing that we're all survivors so that's the number one thing right out of the gate number two you know as a Survivor I have the ability to obviously highly you know have a huge amount of empathy for for them even though our experiences May might be different and I will always have an entirely different View of nearly everything than a person that does not have a lived experience with trauma right so I will always have a different view that I can it's almost like I can see that person yeah it's just a high level of empathy oh yeah and and so my interaction with that person is just it's just a lot different um and it just really enables it just really gives me the opportunity and the ability to connect with other survivors in ways that others may not be able to and then there is some kind of trust and bond built in that and then that kind again really you know I just I kind of Envision it like walking hand in hand or if I'm mentoring I do I've done a lot of mentoring as well with survivors that aren't quite you know they're in their healing or they're starting their healing or they haven't even started yet yeah um you know I can really walk with them because I've been through a lot of the things that they haven't gone through or they're you know in the sick of I've been through you're in a good spot you seem like a sharp person and uh you you know it gives them hope for right their future right that's definitely one of one of my goals is to hopefully inspire well I think you're accomplishing that goal so congratulations thank you appreciate that um you're part of a a high profile case with um Jeffrey Epstein and his accomplice Elaine Maxwell and you you happened to be one of their victims right and I'm wondering if you can speak to that a little bit how that initial contact with them came about yes so I was 22 and I think what's important for others to learn or know is at the age of eight for myself uh from the ages of 8 to 11 and a half I was sexually abused um so three and a half years of my life that's a chunk of time uh there was a lot of struggle in that and there was a lot of really really trying very hard to fight for healing um as a teenager uh growing up after that and as a young adult uh I felt like at the point when I was 22 and I um ended up meeting you know or being brought into this world of exploitation um I was really on a path at that point in my life where I wanted to I wanted to be I wanted to be something great you know I wanted to work hard I wanted to do something really good I wanted to help others yeah um I had moved across the country uh at the age of 22 and moved to California and I was in massage therapy school and I was doing really well and I was the top student of the class and I also worked full-time at the front desk so that's that's where it began as a massage therapy student and I was approached One Day by a student that was in a program there at the school uh she was ahead of me in her program she first presented an opportunity to me to be a personal uh traveling massage therapist and asked if I was interested I told her I was I asked her why she wasn't doing it because she said it was such a great opportunity and I said why aren't you doing it you know if it's so great and she said she had a family commitment and couldn't go and so then I had these uh contact details to meet a girl named Sarah Callan uh Sarah Kellen and I met at the beach and had a really long conversation and a nice walk on Santa Monica Beach she Sarah told me about this opportunity to be a private traveling massage therapist she referred to a woman named Miss Maxwell and she told me how you know it was a once in a lifetime opportunity travel the world I could have all the education and all the best institutions that I wanted all around the world that Miss Maxwell had has had the best education and would provide the same for me you know private chefs meeting lots of people private jet and at the time uh I certainly took I you know this girl Sarah she she was I I mean I related to her you know I uh we looked somewhat similar we were similar in age she was very pleasant to me so that right there is part of the process I mean the process started with the first girl at the school that approached me right um you know that's where the grooming started telling me about the opportunity really building it up getting me excited knowing that I was a young student working the front desk at the school um meeting Sarah at the beach you know what she said was her apartment at the beach before we went on the walk again as a young aspiring students uh traveling the world being doing something I love you know massage therapy was a dream come true so when I meet a young girl at the beach and she says it's her apartment you know I moved to California for one of the reasons why is because I wanted to be near the beach you know I wanted to live that California Dream um so again part of the process is is building Rapport building the Rapport building the relationship almost like a friendship type conversation to the point where that's where I felt by the end of it that she was my friend and I was very very excited and I thought that meeting Miss Maxwell was going you know that I was going to be off to meet Miss Maxwell um in New York City is where I told was told that she would uh that I would be meeting her so within a couple of weeks time I had flight and travel arrangements and was flown from Los Angeles to New York City and uh you know that's once I after I arrived is when I met Miss Maxwell and you know they had a driver for me and you know so many different components about it all all of it was part of the grooming process everything was intentional emotional connections were made you know a driver with my name on a sign picking me up from the airport making me feel special making me feel tended too cared for all the things was all part of the process all of that were outward signs of the success yeah like yes success where we we welcome you we want you here your you know we're gonna take care of you yeah all of that was a part again of the process and so uh after I arrived to New York City then I walked to miss Maxwell's home because it was not far from where I was staying and yeah that's that's when I met her before I ask the question I want to re-emphasize the legal definition of sex trafficking is a commercial sex act induced by force fraud coercion or underage involvement you were 22 years old so underage involvement isn't going to be a factor but Force fraud coercion is kind of what we're looking for and so I think that fraud and coercion have already occurred because they're misrepresenting themselves sure yes but um as of right now you still don't know that at what point did the exploitation occur and what what factors do you identify today as being the factors they used most prominently was it Force broad or coercion well there was a lot of fraud coercion and and there was threats at the end of it all I was there under false you know it was all fraud the entire situation was from right you know I was there clearly thinking that I was there for a job interview as a massage therapist and you know I spent the afternoon with Galen Maxwell and all the things about all the conversation we had that was all part of the grooming process all the emotional connections she was making with me I felt wonderful that I was at her house and then after spending hours there and doing a whole massage and going through all my steps as a student thinking hoping I'm doing it perfectly well then at the very end of it is when I first learned from giland that I would be going to see her partner Jeffrey so the entire time from sitting at the office and behind the desk that day at school when the first girl approached me to standing there in vilan's home in New York City I never knew that there was a man named Jeffrey or any man that I was going to be meeting so throughout any of this interview process yeah so once gilan told me I you know you're going to go meet with my partner Jeffrey and so that that's when I found out and at that point in time though there was enough trust established uh from spending the afternoon with her that I didn't think that I was in any kind of harm I didn't think that there was any reason for me to be uh that I should be concerned with my safety right so I uh you know I walked I walked there uh later that day I walked to Jeffrey's home um thinking that I was going to go seal the deal on the job I thought that I I thought that the you know the interview process had gone so well with Keelan that I'm now going to go seal the deal and secure this job position right this opportunity with air quotes right so I I mean I literally walked myself to the home of a predator I walked myself there and that's another point that I really emphasize and can't say enough and hope that the message is very loud and clear I walked myself to this man's home that was going to then assault me no one took me there no one tied me up and dragged me there I very even excitedly thinking that it was a job interview I I was excited to go there he assaulted me and I got myself out of there and he threatened me as I left I didn't go back after that time there was never there was never a time that I went back oh wow and there was an email that I had received after I had been flown back to Los Angeles and it was such a mind twist that email because they treated the email they you know it was Jeffrey's assistant thanking me for coming out thanking me for the interview and telling me I was still being considered for the position just normalizing all of it going back to one of the statements you made as we journeyed into your your the exploitation you experienced the assault that you experienced you referred back to when you were young you mentioned how between the ages of eight and eleven and a half you experienced child sexual abuse and obviously that is a serious thing and you know we we don't want to gloss over that and I'm wondering if you can speak to why you mentioned that and if if it facilitated more assault or more abuse or if it was normalized for you because you had had because you had experienced childhood sexual abuse yes so oftentimes when you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse you typically end up growing up to be an adult victim as well statistically speaking is just way more prevalent to be an adult victim if you were a victim as a child uh that's a highly unfortunate fact and statistic right um so do I do I feel it is important for me to mention that because number one uh it's very much so a part of my experience uh as a as a human uh it definitely went into the vulnerability Factor you know that was kind of built into me the shame was after what had happened with Epstein and Maxwell the shame was so overwhelming it was paralyzing to me and so that took me back to the shame oh yeah that I had carried uh as a child I really feel like rumors are able to take the shame that they should feel as a human being for destroying another or trying to and they shift it to the victim and now the victim has only has not only been you know uh victimized or um violated in whatever way but they're they're now also carrying that shame yeah and it's kind of like the nail in the coffin you know it shame is crippling yeah at what point did you realize that um Elaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein had other victims and that you weren't the only one you know the it's a really kind of bizarre way that I found out because I you know again I was dealing with a lot of the aftermath of the assault for a few years and then I became a mom and that changed my life I mean it saved my life oh wow when I became pregnant with my son and was literally what saved my life Wow and when I was pregnant and then I realized for probably one of the first times in my life the value that I actually had as a human being you know it was literally the first time I felt like I had value was when I was pregnant and I thought I'm gonna do everything that I can to protect this child and to be the best me that I can be or try to be the best me so I can be the best mom to this child you know and so my pregnancy was wonderful and amazing and I loved it and it like I said it really transformed me so then becoming a mom you know I kind of I went into a chosen isolation it wasn't like a dark type isolation it was like I don't want any part of the world but to be a mom and I went back to school and I was really just kind of doing my own thing so you you might some would say oh you were pushing it all away well kinda I was pushing it off boundaries there's a difference between like isolation and boundaries it sounds like yeah well sure um but I really was just adamant about being on this whole different path in life that's cool and so I didn't share like I said about what happened I didn't now I know uh you know there was some news stuff about Epstein and things in the right 2008 I didn't hear a word of it because in 2008 I was busy being a student nursing my son yeah like literally listening to classical music like I didn't even turn the TV on and I I really just was not I didn't I didn't I wanted to block off the world but I you know I was listening to a a YouTube show and I started hearing all this talk about a man named Epstein and you know of course I the content I was like man this sounds horrible what a person and then there was a conversation I remember I'll never forget it was like a Sunday evening and I'm like folding my kids laundry at home I'm listening to this YouTube channel it's like these two guys around my age and they started talking about Epstein and the whole deal and then they mentioned the word the name Maxwell and Maxwell immediately you know was like oh I know that name but they were talking about Robert Maxwell in the in the conversation oh but they were talking about Maxwell in New York City and Epstein and then the the content and I was like maybe I should look into what are they talking about who are they talking about uh and then I just I found myself avoiding it and it kept popping up for like Monday Tuesday Wednesday I just kept it kept nagging at me to check into it and I just I kept pushing it away I didn't want to yeah a Thursday morning I'll never forget this is in July of 2019. this is when I found out to answer your question so that Thursday morning I plugged my phone in and I had accidentally swiped to the news headlines on my phone and I saw a news headline that read Jeffrey Epstein in jail cell in the fetal position and immediately I thought wow this grown man I envisioned a grown man curled up in the beetle position and I was just like flooded with all this sympathy for this grown man crawled up into the fetal position and then I set my phone down and walked away and then I literally stopped like five feet in my tracks and I there was like Teresa you have to go back and click on that headline so I walked back to my phone and I clicked on that headline and the moment I did his face popped up and it was the picture of him in that Harvard University sweatshirt and then the moment I saw his face um in that picture I mean my entire world shifted again and it has never been the same since and again it was like a re-traumatization because it was only in that moment that I realized who Epstein was because I only knew him as Jeffrey the entire time I never knew his last name and I was only introduced to him as Jeffrey and gilan only spoke with about him as Jeffrey so I didn't know Jeffrey Epstein and it was in that moment that I realized that Jeffrey Epstein was the man that assaulted me and I sat right down on my computer and I googled guilin Maxwell Jeffrey Epstein and literally the world just like I said it it'll never be the same with Epstein we all know what's happened to him but with Maxwell we also know that she's been convicted yeah of conspiracy to sex traffic miners sex trafficking of minors and all those other things and she's been convicted to 20 years but you weren't if I'm not mistaken and this is the question you weren't part of the trial for against Maxwell correct that's right there there was always a chance that I would have been called to witness and I was clearly not uh so no and I attended a portion of the trial and no is not a part of it do you look at Maxwell's conviction as a win I look at it as a step in the right direction you know it's like part of me wants to say yeah it's it's a bit of a victory it's a little bit of justice and I and I believe that it is a little bit of Justice I just don't think that it's um it's a start is what I think is is to start yeah that's a good way to put it going back to your work that you do with the Cosi and the other you know speaking engagements and all those things that you're doing what has it been like for you to work with other survivors can you speak to that a little bit more and how that's been rewarding yeah it is rewarding um because you see progress you see hope established where there may have not been any prior and sometimes you don't really see a whole lot um and what you could well what I pray for is you know the whole notion of planting of seeds we don't always get to see the outcomes of our work um and we can always just carry on and pray that those seeds are planted well and developed at some point in time so there's a it's a mixed bag working with survivors you know um there are so many instances and situations that you hear about that are just devastating well I mentioned at the beginning of this interview slash conversation that we have fight the new drug we're grateful for what nicosi is doing we're grateful for what you're doing hopefully this podcast and what you've said today helps our listeners and viewers better to understand what is sex trafficking how we can fight sex trafficking what is grooming how can we prevent and stop grooming what else can we do to support you and to support nikosi well again you know educating ourselves educating children speaking out against pornography is huge I would love to see men and dads teaching their young boys the Harms of pornography uh how to view their peers um I would love to see a just a mass movement of that and I'm sure it's happening in homes you know these kids that are being inundated these days bombarded with pornography and explicit images and having to have the concern and worry about who they're talking to I mean they're just being bombarded with pressures that no kid should have to um really endure you know women we're living in a time that we've never we've never experienced this as a society in the way that we are now yeah so helping nicosi would be to be very proactive in your own community and your own home and then speaking out against exploitation and abuse and pornography and any means possible for me as a Survivor and working with nicosi which I think is one of the best organizations ever and the the people are just really tremendously genuinely incredible there um is to really be committed to take a stand against everything that we're taking a stand against you know to to Really join us in the fight uh and to protect human dignity I mean that's what we're doing these are all these are basic fundamental human rights to live in a world free of exploitation and abuse right you know yeah well Teresa we want to leave you with the opportunity to have the last word during this conversation if there's anything that you want to State anything that's on your heart or mind that you haven't stated or that you want to re-emphasize we would love to hear your closing remarks or closing thoughts my you know my closing thoughts I think again just really focus and go back to being a parent and being a mom and raising my two wonderful children in this world and the steps that I take as a mom and as a parent to educate them and to prepare them and to you know teach them give them tools of what to do if any type of situation were to happen yeah um you know we really I mean that that's the message the signs of what to look for the tools help them identify a trusted adult if it's not you you know give them tools of what to do so they know how to handle themselves at least help them you know equip them with that first step so that they might not necessarily know what to do after step one but if they can get themselves to step one then hopefully you know it can be stopped right there and and nothing can continue so I think my biggest message is you know to really be highly involved and um you know protect your kids yeah yeah well Teresa I've said it already but I will say it again thank you for being with us today you're welcome it's a pleasure to be here [Music] thanks for joining us on this episode of consider before consuming consider before consuming is brought to you by fight the new drug fighting new drug as a non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising Awareness on its harmful effects using only science facts and personal accounts if you'd like to learn more about today's guest and the conversation we had you can check out the links included with this episode if you find this episode helpful consider subscribing and leaving a review consider before consuming is made possible by listeners like you if you'd like to support consider before consuming you can make a one-time or recurring donation of any amount at ftnd.org forward slash support that's ftnd.org forward slash support thanks again for listening we invite you to increase your self-awareness look both ways check your blind spots and consider before consuming

Channel: Fight the New Drug

Views: 309,888

Keywords: I was sex trafficked, Sex trafficking survivor, Jeffrey Epstein, Jeffrey Epstein Survivor, I was sex trafficked by Jeffrey Epstein, Sex trafficking, survivor, true story, Ghislaine Maxwell, Massage student, porn, anti porn, sex, Fight the new drug, FTND, Fight, Ftnd Podcast, CBC, Consider Before Consuming, Consider Before Consuming Podcast, Podcast

Id: FFXYxJ6k_xA

Length: 41min 45sec (2505 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 18 2023