Best Man Roasts Groom at Wedding

hello so my name is Kent I'm Chris's older brother  aka the source of all the emotional and physical   trauma that he will now be importing into a new  family sorry about that uh I don't know how to   follow what uh Becca's sister just gave us so  we're going to change gears a bit okay um well   Chris asked me to say some words he didn't specify  which words to say nor did he rule any words out   um he didn't realize words like um embarrassing   or uh you know reputational damage uh you  know never being able to go outside again   none of these words were mentioned uh  he also didn't say words like hot seat   zero on going with this what do you think Chris  hasn't comment with uh names like oh Charlie Sheen   David Hasselhoff even Donald Trump Flavor Flav  anybody Comedy Central roasts some of the best   so uh hand me the seat Pope this is the hot  seat Chris if you would foreign [Applause] but this isn't about me this is a family  you're back in the house this is a family   event and this is going to be a team effort and  I I have some jokes right here so I'd like it   between 8 and 10 volunteers to come up and  help me with this so Pope I know you're maxi   please it's an open invitation uh John  John you already won and no John's here where's Rebecca yeah if you could do one yeah um all right if anybody else wants  to come up as we go uh feel free to all right here Rose culture can be a little bit mean  sometimes but you make up for it at the end   that's just how it is I'll start out with one these are all random I  don't know where these are in Chris looks like   if Bob Saget have been fused with Rick Moranis  then lost his job at Colonial Williamsburg that's one down one down [Music] all right Chris has been an outstanding  student and committed to his GPA since middle   school unfortunately he has failed to  maintain the same level of commitment   to Growing taller than five foot seven oh man all right this one's hard for me to even  read like but growing up I always looked   up to Chris as like the the he was the Braves  I was the Bronze so this saying this about him   that means a lot about me being even worse but  uh Chris switched to a philosophy major during   his sophomore year majoring in the philosophy  of giving up at the age of 20. boom roasted Legend has it if you manage to look Chris  directly in the eyes for more than three seconds   you want a voucher good for getting  out of the next three debates it's a lot you and Kent both are you a  lot Chris was granted a full scholarship   to Randolph-Macon College congratulations  after demonstrating a mathematical proof   that he'd isolate isolated the only one  on the planet polite enough to date him I [Music]   everybody okay am I the only one that thought this was  a wedding I didn't realize this to be a roast   some women like to imagine what it would be  like growing old with their husband Becca on   the other hand imagines what it'd be like  marrying somebody about 45 years younger today is a huge day for Chris and he's  no doubt excited the last time any of   us saw Chris this excited was the day  he learned that the floor of his car   could double as a storage locker for this  year's collection of greasy fast food bags thank you [Music] Chris's wardrobe looks like it was  ordered out of a PBS documentary box set part homeschooler part Outdoorsman  part volunteer Civil War reenactor he   looks like a Ken Burns extra who hasn't  gotten a call back in 13 years [Music] we got let them go in here um at the very  least Chris has Intelligence going for him   intelligence enough to trick a beautiful woman   into forgetting that she's marrying  somebody that's five foot seven arrested all right so Becca accepting Chris's proposal  was only the second biggest surprise of Our Lives   the numbers the number one spot still  belongs to finding out that this young   woman tolerating Chris for over six years  hadn't been a state mandated social worker roast hey we all know Chris is a fan of uh you know  historic black powder rifles he's a man of   History uh favorite pastime of his is shooting  at squirrels groundhogs he enjoys the confidence   of knowing that nobody in the immediate area is  going to be able to out drink him boom roasted because they're small and you can't drink very  much all right you can't win them all right no who's next Chris is the only one who could join  the debate team debate his girlfriend   into joining the debate team then debate  to all of us that he deserves to marry   his debate partner though he may consider this  depiction of events to be completely debatable has the right all right today  we should celebrate that Chris   has decided to bravely pursue his true passion   his passion for finding somebody who will tolerate  backseating His 30-hour World of Warcraft sessions the only person more weird and  socially uncomfortable than Chris Cox   is everybody standing in  that same room with Chris Cox likely me too but is that all right  yeah I'm gonna there's an outro I consider this a gift because I think anything  that works needs to be stress tested like a   marriage or any good machine you have to make  sure it can you know withstand some abuse and   I think this demonstrates what a patient  forgiving you know man we have on our hands   I I think you could easily last a good 60 years  together so I couldn't ask for a better brother he means that we're to me  I've always looked up to him   and he's actually pretty cool he's not a he's not  a debate nerd that was make believe he's very cool with that um yeah good night I'll hand this off thank you thank you please raise your glasses one   more time for the new Mr and  Mrs Cox everyone [Applause]

Channel: Kent Cox

Views: 10,628

Keywords: wedding, roast, surprise, groom, bride, best man, Brutal, bestman, Best man, shocking, speech, best man speech, best man speech brother, family, wedding dress, bridesmaids, funny, hilarious, comedy, comedy central

Id: ZilGmEjr63U

Length: 9min 33sec (573 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 04 2023