Superman 64 | The Completionist

oh yes you you knew this was coming hey everyone and welcome back to the completionist superhero month season 5 Ramez 64 he knew was coming some of you knew something you protect Prince ruin that bed 1999 was a pretty great year in gaming it was the year that gave us Tony Hawk's Pro Skater it kicked off the Smash Bros franchise it gave a Street Fighter 3 third strike and it was the year that we saw the release of the Sega Dreamcast but not all was right in the world of gaming on the dawn of the new millennium 1999 was also the year that a terrible horror was unleashed upon the face of video games Superman for the Nintendo 64 was developed by Titus software with the best of intentions to create a superhero game in which players would really get to act like a superhero which was somewhat unprecedented at the time unfortunately due to the game's development process being plagued by the unreasonable mandates of both DC Comics and Warner Brothers as well as the n64 is hardware limitations it seemed like the game much like Krypton itself was doomed from the start despite Titus's honorable aspirations Superman 64 ended up as one of the most abysmal products to ever bear Superman's name and as what many considered to be the worst video game ever made Superman 64 was panned by critics far and wide a beating and earned with its lack of content lackluster game design and countless game breaking bugs but despite all the bad press the game went on to sell relatively well I repeat the game went on to sell relatively well instead of slipping into the annals of myth and obscurity Superman was actually played by many far too many I guess you just can't underestimate Superman's charisma what's your position on the Baths vigilante in Gotham Superman for the Nintendo 64 touched a lot of lives in the worst way and now it's my turn I may just be a mere mortal Superman but I have what it takes to defeat you huh you know now I kind of know how Lex Luthor feels kind of a bad sign but not like Lex Luthor from like the current Lex Luthor stuff I'm talking like at the very least Smallville Lex Luthor because that dude that's a sexy Lex Luthor that I want to be after opening up with a vague threat from Brainiac Superman 64 story begins with Lois Lane Jimmy Olsen and professor Hamilton standing in front of an unimpressive looking portal of some kind and Lex Luthor's there too which suggests that your friends are there against their will but man do they look calm especially Lois she looks practically nonchalant Luthor than exclaims that you'll never be able to find your friends in this virtual world Oh didn't you realize that you were looking through Superman's eyes because you are surprised the portal begins to swirl and Superman's pals are completely enveloped of course first person Superman follows after them blindly you're then immediately dropped into the foggy ring field version of Metropolis that will soon become your personal nightmare your friends are nowhere to be seen and Luthor claims that you can save them by solving his maze and that's it that's all so they'd be good for the entire game you're just abruptly in bafflingly thrust into the terrible gameplay with hardly any explanation whatsoever sorry I have an anger problem today how did all three of Superman's allies get captured who built this virtual world why should we care about any of these characters especially Superman you best get out of here with all that foundation building because apparently there ain't no time for any of that Luthor will occasionally wave a carrot in front of your nose by reminding you every once in a while that the reason you're accomplishing all these asinine tasks is to save your friends but you never really feel motivated to help your pals let alone help yourself is merely a framing device for the gameplay which normally is fine it's fine but with gameplay this terrible this bad it just makes the lack of a serviceable story hurt that much more so how can we fix it here is how it's so simple you guys so simple they could have easily just adapted an episode or two from the Superman animated series which this is clearly based off of and tied things together with still frames and text boxes anything would have been better than what we've got even Superman three I will take Superman three save us Richard Pryor save us all you in hey allow me to mention the one redeeming quality of this game's presentation it's based on the Bruce Timm Superman animated series from 1996 that's it in every other way this game looks and sounds downright awful when it comes to the audio direction the name of the game is repetition repetition repetition is the name of the game repetition happens to be the name of the game did you hear that gunfire then that's the one you're going to hear for the rest of the game repetition repetitions name of the game did you hear an explosion and I hope you liked it dude because repetitions the name of the game even the awesome woosh sound when taking off which is actually directly lifted from the animated series manages to get old repetition is the name of the game the music doesn't fare very well either it's all muffled uninspired and repeated ad nauseam repetitions name with game since the game forces you enough to revisit the same environments over and over again you think the variants they could do is have some variation in their soundtrack guess we're gonna say next repetition is the name of the game Superman and the other main characters look okay that is the only mediocre or nice thing you're gonna hear me say about this game but if you're merely an extra in this feature of film of failure then prepare to look downright dreadful even by 1999 standards low-poly citizens and generic robots are one thing but all these black door wearing enemies are disheartening Lee undefined the backgrounds don't fare any better everything is washed out and hazy thanks to the unexplained fog of war that's ever-present in the games outside environments but even the interior locations suffer from bland textures and vast blackness well a few of the game set pieces look somewhat decent like the skyscrapers for instance things start getting astonishing once you really take a close look at the world that exists inside of Superman 64 like let's look at these buildings right here on the metropolis ground floor they're completely flat it looks like one of those old-school Kitty playmats with a tiny town printed on it and metropolis is eerily devoid of people I honestly can't tell if this lack of definition is an intentional design choice on Lex Luthor's art just look at this being underwater makes you look like you've glitched through something and while we're on the subject of glitches they are everywhere as you naturally play the game your balance run into a glitch or four that will absolutely ruin whatever you're trying to do sometimes Superman will just clip through the wall into the void occasionally he'll just fall to the floor unable to climb back out and sometimes NPCs and objects which are crucial to your progression will just disappear or no reason causing you to have to restart the level the whole game is so impressively offensive that it almost seems intentional it's somehow manages to do everything wrong it's like one of those Chinese ripoffs except it's not this was an officially licensed product seriously when you punch citizens they ask what's wrong Superman are you okay and maybe that's what this game is really all about maybe this is just a giant simulation designed to make Superman question himself and his deepest beliefs are you okay Superman is this how you see the world are we just all soulless puppets to you if this was let's plan all along we'll then well done Lex well done I don't know if playing this game would break Superman but it's certainly broken many of us players out there they say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again that's my job in a nutshell and then Superman 64 comes along and just puts more race more more and more I can never eat onion ring ever again ever Oh superman 64 is broken sorry superman 64 is broken too two different kinds of stages action-oriented indoor stages and the outdoor rink filled hell escapes that have become synonymous with this game and the legends are true the ring sections come straight from the deepest depths of Hades you've got to fly through a series of rings until you reach the final red ring your target ring glows green and just in case you miss it there are a few yellow forgiveness rings that you can fly through to get back on track but if you fly through one of the grayed out rings it's game over sounds simple right well it would be simple if it weren't for the abominable controls Superman handles like a busted ass ice cream truck from the Nixon administration the time limit only adds to the stress and things get really bad when the rings start moving aah just look at this mess you've only got so many great rings to fly through before they run out and it's incredibly easy to get momentarily disoriented completely losing your sense of direction in the process the worst part about all of this is that these ring sections appear a lot they're literally more than half the game and they're exactly the same thing every time for comparison's sake let's take a look at a similar type of mission from Batman Arkham City Batman also has to fly through some green rings but in Arkham City the ring missions are short clear and they control extremely well they actually teach you something worth knowing about Batman's gliding controls and there aren't that many of them in short be more like Batman Superman damn it should never brought a good game reviewing this game now you wanna play that again after each ring sequence there's a small mini mission they usually involve lifting objects and placing them somewhere else taking out bad guys and stopping tornadoes by freezing them with your breath I just want to point out why are there tornadoes in Metropolis in beautiful 75 degree weather get some what tell me why is there a tornado machine maybe storm from x-men who is a part of the Marvel Universe's has to show up and create a twister I don't know it makes no sense these missions would it be that bad if it weren't for the Phantom's of bad controls and rampant glitches the tasks given to you in these mini missions aren't complicated in the least they're just made complicated by the game now allowing you to do what's asked of you prepare to fail these missions for dumb reasons a lot and guess what when you fail you have to restart the rig section that precedes it and better yet before you do it again Luthor just laughs at you look at that laughs this isn't that left feel that laughs yo give me that Jeff Goldblum remix haha then there are so-called action stages I really wish you could see my action stages based quotation marks because they are or about lap these usually have you going from room to room fighting enemies and searching for items to advance sometimes you have to rescue people other times you have to solve really obtuse puzzles and of course no bad game would be complete without poorly executed escort missions most of the time your tasks in these stages feel more like a busy work than fun and they never ever make you feel like Superman once I just I just want to point out a game is being designed to make you feel like Superman never once makes you feel like Superman I'm sorry just split again combat the Superman feels sad more than anything his range is terrible and his animations make him look less than heroic look guys he's just his try he's trying his heart out when you strike your enemies you better hope that it kills it immediately because if they get merely sent flying back that means you have to painfully walk up and hopefully try to hit them again you do not and I repeat you do not want to walk up to them in this game ever it's honestly so frustrating to fight hand-to-hand that just flying into people to damage them is basically the better option and with a little imagination just a little bit you can almost picture Superman flying right through these dudes torsos yes that's justice go see Batman V Superman dawn of Justice this is a free plug no brand deal I guarantee you that's gonna be way better than through men 64 I promise you that your enemies include random robots tanks and shady dudes dressed in black trench coats most of the time these guys are going to shoot you from afar with bullets missiles and bombs so flying straight at them is the way to go depending on the enemy will either knock them out completely or you'll pick them up and throw them which causes them explode and explicably due to how bad the camera is entering an area with lot of enemies can be a death sentence since safely locating and traveling to each enemy can be a real hassle I also want to point out that every item you throw in this game explodes every single item there's a cardboard box here there's probably some ammo in it maybe some food nope explosion everything explode on everything bursts if you pick it up and fly and you touch the roof it explodes it is in your hand and you touch the roof and explodes you take damage Superman is like the - of explosions anything you touch it explodes he has the - touch of explosions superman 64 superman 64 SS bosses are actually characters from Superman's history and the animated series including the likes of metallo parasite and Darkseid the problem is is that all these fights rely on Superman's god-awful fighting controls I suppose it helps at the boss of themselves are as dumb as a box of bricks that probably would explode if you pick them up as they just walk into your super fists over and over and over again until they keel over holding down the a button is the win button you just punch and then walk into it but one of the most egregious sins that this game commits is locking most Superman's powers behind tokens sure you've got flight and super-strength at all times but in order to use the rest of his power set you have to find various tokens hidden throughout the action stages of course there is something to be said of unlocking things in the sense of progression in video but this is not a video game so not having heat vision or freeze breath in a Superman game kind of just it doesn't make any sense you need to have those things you need to have those things many of his superpowers may be present through these tokens such as super speed and x-ray vision but they're still disappointing since they're tied to a depletable meter once you run out you can't use that power ever again until you find that one specific token some really wacky power-ups are included too like Superman's ability to convince his foes to fight on his side it's more out of place than Superman cellophane wrapper from Superman - that's - Superman references that are still better than the damn game this game feels like the rebellious kid who purposefully answers every question incorrect on the test just despite their authority figures there's so much going wrong in this game and the worst part of all of it is that at no point during my playthrough did I ever feel like Superman on the contrary playing this game made me feel frustrated and bitter most of the time and violent and hungry and sad and alone I know what it hurts someone like a 100 Superman I get it now I'm Lex Luthor I understand I understand everything now the only way that this game makes me feel like Superman is the fact that I'm conquering it I feel like I'm Superman because I conquered this game that is not the way this game should be at Chubin MA guys I figured out five nights at Freddy's hear me out I figured it out okay the wolf from Titus software is freaking foxy and that's why it all started because of Superman 64 confirmed I figured it out Matt I got your back buddy I got it after braving through some of his worst enemies including countless soul-sucking rings which by the way is seven stages sorry seven of them Superman must rescue his friends one last time and take the fight directly to the one responsible for all of this Brainiac after boarding his spacecraft battling your way through legions of robot crabs and solving some idiotic puzzles that include completely unlabeled time travel portals and having to freeze both Jimmy and Lois Lane with your ice breath to push them over catwalks with lightning bolts going everywhere it's finally time for man vs. machine even though the game is already that the fight against Brainiac will require precise control and watching out okay well you know what he's dead I guess all you have to do is spam your heat vision from far away and that's it later man unfortunately you've still got to destroy Brainiac ship with an automatic destruct sequence in order to do that you'll have to activate three bombs in different locations around the ship you have to scour brainiacs ship in order to find these bombs and when you locate the first one you got take it to the room called the Thunder arena once there throw the bomb to activate it then get the hell out of there before the countdown reaches zero the last two bombs have to be brought to the teleporter rooms drop the first one in front of the teleporter activated with your heat vision and then quickly exit using the first teleporter repeat this process for the last bomb and the teleporter will transport you to the game's final room complete with the Looney Tunes that's all folks portal that leads back to the real world fly into it and the nightmare is finally over so you're probably wondering how the game makes it clear that you're supposed to take the bombs to specific places and activate them in very particular ways well it doesn't at all the only way I was able to beat this level of lone game was with a walk through there's no way I'd be able to finish it on my own how is anyone supposed to be able to figure this stuff out on their own protonjon you are my good friend without your videos I would not have been able to at least feed half this game back in the real world Lois Jimmy and the professor are safe we're as safe as they can be because they're standing next to the portal again Clark Kent is here as well and somehow everything is back to normal the waking out camera is normal right it has to be I mean they're about to shoot the intro to the DK wrap here we go the game congratulate cyou and rescuing your friends but then warns you that Lex is still out there you go kidding me they're hinting at a sequel good job Superman you accomplished a bunch of meaningless tasks inside a world where the danger was never truly real your time was completely wasted and you have nothing to show for it wait a minute the camera can't be first-person Superman Clark's right there the camera must be me I'm the camera I always have been I wasted my time I have nothing to show for it dad I'm gonna be a supervillain very sorry for your loss there aren't really any unlockables or completion bonuses to be found in Superman 64 and beating the game doesn't get you anything special either but it should be noted that the game does have three difficulty modes easy normal and Superman and if you're trying to complete the game because you hate yourself then you better play on the Superman difficulty why because playing on normal or easy will deny you access to the last couple of levels just imagine devoting yourself to being this game on normal and then finding out that at the end you've been wasting your time may God help those poor souls experience that or there are a few codes that you can use to make your Superman experience slightly less vomit-inducing the activate cheat mode on the main menu enter upsy-downsy left C and right seat entering this code will allow you to input further codes during the pause menu to activate different cheats such as a limited access to all Superman's powers refilling your health meter and even a level skip theoretically speaking you could beat Superman 64 in less than a minute but honestly even with all these cheats activated is superman 64 really worth playing no no go do anything else stop the music let me make this clear Superman 64 is the worst time I've ever had playing a video game it's so bad that I'm considering shaving my head and stealing cakes it has virtually no redeeming qualities and it's not worth playing even due to sheer morbid curiosity no breakdown no difficulty rating just regrets but if my playthrough and review of this game helps at least one person out there to avoid it then it's all worth it that's it that's all thank you everyone and god bless america superman 64 is the worst game of all time no time to waste with that in mind guys I give this game my completionist rating up donate it to all hell that followed me after today guys so please as always let us know we said about today's episode somewhere on the Internet guys the remix provided in this episode was an original piece of work created by a swatters check out his channel links in the description below you can also buy that song on Bandcamp or some kind of digital distribution set it was original piece made just for this episode so please support him it's a good time I guarantee it not the excuse me let's listen to that remix with more horrible footage of Superman 64 they're shown in their show plan there's no but there's no time there's over there no time to waste no - no time to waste

Channel: The Completionist

Views: 1,347,839

Keywords: Superman 64, Superman (Video Game), Superman (Fictional Character), Video Game (Industry), superman 64 review, Nintendo 64, superman64, Superman (Comic Book Character), superman video game, that one video gamer, thatonevideogamer, the completionist, Ace Waters

Id: QbzpLx-0ub8

Length: 25min 19sec (1519 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 26 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/Bsharpmajorgeneral]

Be careful! Lex Luthor has many rings. In fact, there's a couple hundred of them, just up ahead!

Poor Jirard.

Edit: Also, the background music was on point.

[u/anailater1]

Oh, oh no, not this.

[u/Fehndrix]

That laugh remix though

[u/waawftutki]

YES. I've been thinking about this before actually, and almost thought about making it myself. But I don't have like 300 hours of time to spend watching every beard bros video trying to get every time they sang noises to the music.

[u/[deleted]]

Jirard what is your opinion on Batman vs. superman? I ask this cuz the first mention of it felt like a playful jab but then you did a sellout boys bit with it being better than superman 64 which ain't sayin much really. Just want to know

[u/secret_tsukasa]

watching this made me realize i actually beat the game. i thought i got stuck on a few levels but apparently i trucked through and got to that end section.

the game was so bad, even after beating it, all i could think was "i definitely put that game down because i couldn't get passed those rings or the glitches in the robot assembly level."

[u/Gukiguy]

Please, someone tell me what the music at the beginning is (start at 40s) I know it but cannot for the life of me work out where from.