Stupid Pet Tricks on Letterman, March 29, 1984

[Music] very nice gentlemen well it's time now for stupid Patrick's let me remind you this is only an exhibition this is not a competition please no wagering now our first participant the night please welcome Stacey Darden ladies boy you came a long way was it tough getting in here no I wasn't that bad stuck trains really so the weather wasn't a problem now you brought your cat who is your cat what's the name Thomasina Thomasina and what will the Thomasina do for us Travis Tina will bounce a tin can on her hat on her hat all right is anything that I can do to help here yeah okay it's what the now this this is not a bad idea for some of you younger cats starting out think about wearing that protective headgear it's this is really the tricky part isn't it one false move from this cat I think Aaron here is your path in action [Laughter] there you go certainly certainly worth the train ride from Philadelphia you can see the pride in the lives of that cat they our next guest tonight on stupid pet tricks mr. Jim Audubon ladies and gentlemen good heavens and what kind of cats are those coconuts boy oh boy Jim where are you from Long Island Long Island and these would be what these are weasels and weasel Oona weasel family they're their polecats of ferrets ferrets rowdy and this is Tino and now these make horrible pets don't they I know they're fine pets whether they smell a little like you oh they do as well surely I noticed that but are they friendly oh yeah what is this month while he's digging a hole digging a hole looking for rats and mice but are they good with kids these excellent excellent okay now Oh little weasel vomit for you I'm coming in that's got to be it first he wins they wait no wait a minute is that the trick that's the trick they like the brake balloon okay they like to break balloons go ahead we kind of missed the trick and the excitement of them throwing up I don't have anything to wipe it up with oh no that'sthat's all right we'll clean that up a little later now are you you look like you're leaving no I'd do the trick some more see I don't think we knew you were gonna do that okay that's okay Jim there they are here oh yeah nice meeting you sir and thank you for being here buh-bye get him some Dramamine oh boy never seen a weasel throw up ladies and gentlemen please say hello to Linda Weber Linda nice underwear is your home and you have trouble getting here today because of the weather yeah it's a lot of flooding well I'm glad you made it and thanks for making the effort now this dog's name is lady and what's the lady gonna do here push-ups what kind of dog is Lady first of all probably the same as you and she's just a mixed breed to mix free well it looks nothing like my dog okay just a mutt and yeah I recognize that okay I mean it's behavior that I've seen okay Linda lady is gonna do push-up and I couldn't help but notice you have some cookies there yet you weren't feeding those to the weasels earlier the weasels were eating the pears oh my god don't eat the Parrish guys all right now Linda go ahead your lady no can I help here anyway no I just hope she doesn't run yeah all right you need a drumroll or anything all right this will be lady doing push-ups how many will she do I don't know lady will do push-ups come on two push-ups push-ups push-ups [Applause] so so that's your idea of a push-up huh okay well that was that was mighty entertaining one day I wonder can we look at it already in slow-mo this is really going to be [Applause] yeah Fitness it's important even for dogs to keep in shape and all right ladies and gentlemen please say hello to Elaine Lombardo oh hey how are you and where you from East Meadow Long Island and you have the same problems get man I guess huh yeah we took the train all right now you have here what this is a I believe a box turtle alrighty and a pet of yours yes we've had him for 18 years Wow how old are they get aa hundred seventy-five 500 really yeah he was this size when we found him now if he gets that old who's gonna take care of him once you leave I guess my children will you heard him do they make good pets yeah yeah and do they live in water live in the ground or he lives in the basement sink that's where the fire they find him naturally in nature they're in the basement sink okay and what will did you so tell us the name is it dead your name is cha okay now what is Charlie gonna do for stand on his hind legs already this one no what are you gonna do there with it this is chopped meat and this sort of coax him along alright just chop the ground beef whatever yeah yeah you can see him go crazy with you when you get that meat near him he's got a different animal and he'll be there he goes [Music] [Applause] [Music] now this the turtle is obviously woozy is not a bad bad terrific yeah my thanks to everybody who made the extra effort to come in here tonight to watch that dog do push-ups we'll be right back Jerry Lewis is here [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Don Giller

Views: 158,857

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Id: Bg-RPqSohMQ

Length: 9min 18sec (558 seconds)

Published: Sun May 22 2016