Stripper Stories: Old Men in Strip Clubs

so I want to tell you about three old men that I met when I was working as an exotic dancer and as an exotic dancer quite often I've had younger guys come in to the strip club and they asked me in a very kind of hesitant manner have you ever you know had to dance for like gross old dude and first of all I've never had to dance for anybody I'm an independent contractor if I don't want to dance for somebody I won't dance for them and that actually has happened there was one man I actually I really liked him but I strongly suspected that he was a violent criminal like homicidal and I didn't want to be in a room alone with him I thought that might be a dangerous situation to get into and so he asked me if I wanted a VIP dance and I told him no I'm sorry I can't do that I think that the only time I've ever really turned anyone down oh no it's not it's one of the only times I've ever really turned anybody down for dance but usually if somebody wants to dance I'm I was quite open to the idea because that's how I got my my money did I dance for old dudes oh yeah I danced for old dudes but I loved dancing for older men and it makes sense actually if you think about it a little bit women have a limited period of fertility in their lives like compared to the the whole length of one's life it's really a small window and in that window that's when a woman is really quite beautiful so especially at the beginning of that window when it's just kind of opened up and she's got this this period of time where she's going to be at her most fertile right at the beginning of that she looks as beautiful as she is ever going to look most of the time there are exceptions where a woman starts off young but she's really overweight and she loses a bunch of weight gets in shape and suddenly suddenly she looks more beautiful as a general rule a woman looks as beautiful as she is ever going to look in that window of time more toward the beginning then toward the end and I think for men they look at it and they associate youth with beauty because of that it's like okay you're young you're at the peak of your fertility and you're beautiful and that's what makes that's what makes a member of the opposite sex for men at least attractive for women it doesn't necessarily work out so much like that because men have a much wider window of fertility technically a seven-year-old man can get somebody pregnant if you find somebody who's well willing to be impregnated that doesn't necessarily that mean that people are going to be attracted to a 70 year old man but they have a much more flexible window of opportunity and this gives them time to do things that men typically do in life they established themselves they build up resources and they they find their place in the social hierarchy basically they build up power for themselves so that when they meet a woman they've they've kind of already established some power and you know typically when it comes to marriage they they continue establishing power after they've married that woman and sometimes after they've had their kids but well yeah frequently after they're had their kids really but you know when women choose a man they're either choosing someone usually choosing someone roughly five years older than they are who's already kind of begun to establish some power on him and sort of building some momentum but an older man who's already done that who's already finished establishing power who's finished building up his resources and she's kind of reached that peak point is is not going to be entirely unattractive to a woman even he is older I'm not saying that I'm seriously into older dudes what I'm saying is that an older guy isn't going to be innately gross like they don't just have that kind of turn-off element going for them quite so much as say an older woman would have for a younger man again they're exceptions to all these rules so you know if you're if you're a young guy who's really really into naughty grannies you know please don't don't be offended by that I was gonna say don't leave a comment but I mean if you're if you're a young dude who's into old grannies I mean fine leave a comment I don't care old men aren't going to be an automatic turnoff for women necessarily as a general rule but that's not why I like dancing for older men back when I was a dancer and I was dancing for older men the thing that really made me happy when I was dancing for older men is that they're very easy to talk to an older man will have had a much longer period of time in his life where he has had opportunities to practice talking to women and he'll be much more skillful at it simply because if you do something long enough you get good at and younger men you know some younger men are just naturally very good at talking to women but generally younger men they're not as well practiced they're not as smooth they're not as good at setting a woman at ease and making her laugh and just having in a fun conversation there's a there's a certain degree of tension and there's a certain degree of inexperience the plays into that and you know there are exceptions to that rule as well and there are exceptions on the other side where you have older men who simply never learned how to talk to women and it's kind of sad because it's like dude you've had all these years and you still haven't learned how to talk to women I mean I know where you're in a strip club but that's not a good thing but there are a lot of older men who just they're they're very well practiced at it they know how to tell jokes to women they know how to make women laugh they know how to be funny and entertaining and also you know it relaxed and at ease and how to have a good time an older man is is like I've had I've had older customers who have told me some of the raunchiest things but they managed to say it in just the right way with just the right tone of voice and was just the right timing that it's actually quite hilarious basically they've grasped humor and they know how to tell the joke and that's that's a kind of a big deal I remember when I first started dancing I was in this club and one of the guys who worked there and one of the regulars they were they were having a bit of a spar with each other and it was a playful thing and they were trading insults back and forth and I was watching them and thinking that this is a beautiful beautiful thing because this is how men frequently display to women you know they don't hop up on on horses and get out their Lance's and charge at each other anymore they they banter back and forth and they use their wits and their cleverness and you know their their verbal skills to to display you know all sorts of things that a woman might be interested in such as you know their their mental ability their mental agility this is this is a beautiful thing so I remember sitting in a strip club watching these guys go back and forth and thinking that it was really amazing to be able to witness you know basically a male sexual display sitting in a bar like some seedy little bar in the middle of nowhere and you can still kind of watch this and if you if you really think about what you're looking at it's amazingly beautiful but you know older guys they tend to have this down a lot better and so when you talk to them as a woman you know as an exotic dancer so in a kind of sexualized capacity he can to really enjoy the the beauty of that that wittiness and that display and also it's just it's easy to have a conversation with them and when you sell like a half-hour dance or an hour-long dance to somebody it's really helpful to be able to have a conversation with them because you're going to be stuck with that person on a couch in a tiny little room and if you can't talk to them very well it can be not so fun I've had guys that I've sold long dances to who were really really drunk and they couldn't string too many words together or they were you know really shy wearing women and they would just kind of go deer in the headlights on me and it was like I have to dance for this entire hour because you and I can't have a conversation this isn't working and it's really exhausting to dance for a whole hour and it does happen and I remember I mean there have been times where I've literally had to sit and shake my butt for an entire hour because that guy and I were just not where we weren't talking very well to each other and it's boring it's boring for you it's it might be boring for the customer maybe not I had one guy who literally paid me to sit for a half an hour and rub the tip of my nose up against the tip of his nose and he'd loved it he didn't speak very much English I think he was I think he was a Russian didn't speak much English really loved just rubbing the tip of his nose against my and I did it for half an hour and I had to quit and not sell him another dance because my nose was getting sore but most of the time if you want a dance to be interesting you kind of need to have some sort of a dialogue going much much easier to establish that with an older guy not all older guys know how to talk to women though and I wanted to tell you stories about three different older gentlemen who really sucked at talking to women so the first guy I had just started dancing I was a very new dancer and I was in the shitty titty bar on stage and it was a long set and there weren't that many customers and most of them were sitting over by the bar getting drunk and this guy comes up to the edge of the up to the edge of the stage he starts talking to me and so I sat down at the edge of the stage and I started talking with him he gave me like 20 bucks or something he was nice nice enough you know and he tells me that he has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I'm just a highly skeptical person but I'm like okay I'm what's your what's your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you're telling me that you know keep the customer happy and he'll keep giving you money and so he tells me about this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity he's got a house out in the middle of the Prairie like I lived in the middle of the Prairie he lived farther into the middle of the Prairie um and he wanted me to come and live with him and I could I could come and live in his house in the middle of the Prairie the middle of nowhere and cook for him and clean for him and it would never have to work again another day in all my life and doesn't that just sound like the most wonderful thing now I grew up next to a wheat field actually I think it was it was just a hay field but anyway it was a field I was across the street from a field and that's what I woke up and saw every morning that was pretty much all there was out where I lived there were lots and lots of fields and then there was a little teeny town in the middle of all the fields and there wasn't much outside of that it was just fields and then more fields and then you know kind of sort of a hill in them more fields when I did my very brief stint in college I actually had a professor who had written a large paper on the early settlers who had gone completely insane because of the emptiness all around them and done things like chop up their entire family with a hatchet people went nuts when the first colonists came to the area where I grew up because there was nothing out there but fields and so this man is describing to me this wonderful paradise that he's going to give to me and to me it just sounds like a recipe for insanity I'll be out alone in the middle of the field somewhere separated from any friends or family or other human beings that I could talk to or form relationships with living with this old guy who's you know doesn't know me from Adam and probably won't be the best of come in ship who wants me to cook and clean for him all the time and that's all I'm gonna do with the rest of my life live in the middle of this wheat field with this this old dude and so you know having listened to his proposition I said well you know what I think I think I'm gonna need some time to consider that that's a very nice offer and I'm gonna go think about a little bit and I'll get back to you and I got off stage and I thought I don't have to talk to this guy again for the rest of the night so I'm not gonna talk to this guy again for the rest of the night problem solved no problem and so I went and talked to other customers in the night went on and toward the end of the night he comes up to me with this big smile on his face and he's like well have you considered my my proposition it's a once in a lifetime opportunity and that was just like oh god you didn't take the hint did you man okay and I was like well it's a very nice offer it really is but um I think I'm gonna have to decline and he gets mad at me and he's like well you know if you were gonna say no you could have you know told me before we you know not made me wait all night long and it's like you know I didn't know what to say he was just so angry and then he turned her on he stormed out of the club and it's like I wasted an entire night I mean I don't know how many other girls he had lined up that he was going to make this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity offered to but apparently I wasted his night okay whatever a month goes by a different old guy comes into the strip club walks up to me I have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you and I'm like oh god you gotta be kidding here we go again and it was basically the same opportunity different Wheatfield but same same idea you know you go you live with me and my little teeny house in the middle of the Prairie you cook for me you clean for me basically you work as a sex slave sex toy slash servant slash cook and you never have to work again another day in your life isn't that a wonderful offer and so I'm smiling and being polite and listening and nodding and at this point I know I can't just avoid this very awkward conversation by saying well you know let me consider it and so I was like you know and I'm getting the same line to you so once in a lifetime opportunity forget the fact that it happened last month and so I look at nice very nice but I think I think I'm gonna have to decline and he gets mad at me well what are you doing with your life well I'm not living in a wheat field taking care of some old guy I'm not doing that so you know at least I did something um and he gets angry he storms out luckily those were the only two once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that happened that year but you know fast forward a little bit years down the road I'm I'm living with my husband I don't know if we had actually gotten married at that point or what we were like we worth it within a few months of getting married so we had either not gotten married again at that point where we had just gotten married and we were in the same apartment so it's kind of hard for me to remember exactly when but I was at the strip club and I was working and it took my husband years to get me to quit dancing like that was something that I kept going kept doing for quite a while it was kind of my my security blanket but I was at the strip club and he had come home for the evening and I think he was like making supper or something cuz he had his job and it was more of a day job I was more than happy there was this table with this old guy at it so I went up to the table and the old guy I asked him if he wanted to dance and he's like come sit with me for a little while like okay so I sat down with him it was a slow night again there have been many slow nights in that industry which leads to many interesting stories he starts telling me about this wonderful offer that he has for me and I I'm thinking okay here we go again and he tells me that I will never have to work again a day in my life I can go do whatever I want I can party I can have fun I can have a good old time and he will pay all my bills he will pay all my rent he'll pay everything for me and I will never have to worry about money again as long as I live and I'm listening and I'm trying to keep a straight face I've got that polite attentive look and I'm trying to do the polite attentive smile which occasionally is creaking upward a little bit on my cheeks too to become this like I'm gonna laugh in your face any minute and I have to not do that because I'm at work and I'm a professional goddammit so he's telling me about this wonderful opportunity and I'm nodding along there are only three rules that you have to follow like okay here comes the rule and he's like I can't remember the first rule it was pretty inconsequential it was very basic you know you have to cook me meals you have to clean for me something like that I can't remember number two rule number two your [ __ ] belongs to me I'm like okay that means that if I'm having a Jacuzzi party with a bunch of my friends and I want you there I can call you up and even if you're here at the club you drop what you're doing you come over here to hang out and it's QZ with me and my friends only all right yeah I'm totally gonna do that I'm gonna I'm gonna give up my nice life that I'm living to go you know be your servant whatever and I'm just smiling and nodding and then it gets to rule number three which is truly one of the most wonderful things that anyone has ever said to me in a strip club it's like rule number three and this is important okay you have to call me Big Daddy I have to call you what so there I am sitting at a table with Big Daddy and trying very very hard not to laugh because you know because I'm a professional goddammit I'm not gonna laugh at this man's face and so you know I kind of have that creepy smile kind of going on words like excuse me I have to go powder my nose I'll be right back and I get up and I go to the ladies room and as I'm walking into the ladies room the changing room inside the ladies room I start just laughing as hard as I can like doubled over laughing and there are some dancers in the changing room and like it was it was this area next to the stage where you know customers weren't allowed to go and some of the other dancers in there were like what's going on I was like you would not believe the conversation I just had and so you know I laughed a bit and when I finally kind of got got done and calmed down and I could walk around without just bursting out laughing at random intervals I went back outside and start working again um when I got home I closed the door behind me and my husband was in the kitchen and I looked at him and I was like you would not believe the conversation I just had and even to this day Big Daddy lives on in our memory thank you Big Daddy wherever you are I will never stop laughing at your expense I'm seriously I honestly do not think he was trying to pull prank on me like sometimes you have to wonder if maybe the guy is probably a prank on you because guys pull pranks on strippers right I think he was serious God so yeah that is why that is one of the reason why old dudes are awesome because frequently they're excellent conversationalist and even when they aren't good at conversations sometimes the awkward [ __ ] you experience mister club is very worth it I'll talk to you guys later

Channel: OakLeavesAndOnions

Views: 426,401

Keywords: stripper, stripper stories, exotic dancer, strip club

Id: 7jZS2fTmngU

Length: 21min 47sec (1307 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 21 2019