Still Standing🌵 Still Thankful 🌵 Full Episodes 2024

don't sit there I just fluffed those you fluffed them I paid for them oh I win fine but it's your funeral you're wrong if it was my funeral my cousin Phil be here hitting on your mother you know Grandma and Grandpa are coming in right yep tomorrow tonight we relax and pray for a snowstorm to knock out every bridge and roadway from here to Indiana no dad they decided to come in tonight okay then tell your mom I had to work late and I'll see you in the morning Bill did I hear you come in no a crap okay who knows what this is uh sponge a harmless sponge how come I'm the only one who's not afraid to use it honey honey calm down I heard you parents are arriving early and I know they're fighting drives you crazy but just remember this is our house and we're adults Bill did you wipe your feet Lauren said I didn't have to CU you make me happy well I think the house is grandparent ready all the rooms are clean all their bad gifts are on display and I'm still not good enough to be married to you suck it up it's the one thing they agree on yeah they do seem to bicker more now than they used to did they ever get along well when I was a kid they were both working and their marriage was kind of distant a lot of things things were left unset boy those were good days you know when you get rid of everything they can throw at each other this place looks great yeah I don't know how we get so much crap in here hey we leave the door unlocked oh grocery store was mobbed no help her hey 16 therapists couldn't how am I supposed to Bill be nice Linda's cooking Thanksgiving this year why is she cooking pathetic attempt to get Mom and Dad to notice me okay so you want to trade places good then they can call you morning noon and night to settle every little argument they call you not much here we go now Judy I know their fighting drives you crazy but just remember we have one thing on our side time it's not allowed to stop hey Happy Thanksgiving how is the drive did you ever sit next to your father during a long Drive did you ever sit next to your mother while she ate a bag of caramels plus he insisted on taking 94 instead of the tollway if you say it's up to me then you got no right to criticize later you see what I put up with Judy Happy Thanksgiving hey Bill you got a loose railing out there somebody could kill themselves climbing those stairs I know hey look who else is here oops it's your other daughter how's my baby girl oh all grown up Mom Daddy grandma grandpa look at these cute oh my hey hey hey where are those sweater vests I crocheted for you oh we only wear those to church what's Church hey Grandpa I got a little something for you Brian if you'll go get the luggage okay there you go 35 cents off Fig Newton that's a coupon that's the same as money oh I see you still got the painting I made for you I got a dollar for anybody who can tell me what it is a dollar or a dollar off dog food okay then Bill why don't you help Mom and Dad get their things up to Brian's room and I'll start drinking I mean dinner I mean drink it Thanksgiving morning morning it's so great to get up and not have to go to work they're Birds Jean they're not going to stop chirping cuz you open the window and you'll shut up I opened the window for air the shut up was for you God I miss work oh you two are up had' you sleep terrible your father's nose was whistling all night I thought a train was coming if it comes tonight get on it Mom Dad guess who's cooking Thanksgiving dinner this year I'll give you a hint me well I don't know about that no it's going to be really great I've got a very special menu picked out Sage infused turkey yams with bur Blanc that better be French for marshmallows that all sounds delicious dear uh if you need help ask Judy she's a wonderful cook okay that's a that's a good idea idea if I need help with my wild rice and blood orange cone I'll ask Judy maybe she'll crumble some potato chips on top oh that sounds good uh listen Judy your dad and I were thinking that maybe we'd stay a little longer this year oh you got to be kidding me that's great we only get to see the grandchildren a couple times a year and it's not like we got to get back to work just for a week or so would that be okay uh yeah why not that is if you're sure your condo is safe and you didn't leave the stove on it could be on right now it's an electric stove you two can stay as long as you want uh-huh uh-huh Judy could you help me find the uh pets for the table yep that'll do oh weak or so you're just going to let this happen I can't tell my parents they can't stay with us they would kill them well the loose railing didn't do it just going to have to live with it Jean all that butter is going to kill you I know but when when how can they not sell socks in a drugstore it is not the drugstore's fault that you forgot to pack socks I didn't say it was their fault all I'm saying is two aisles devoted to the foot and not one sock we're back hey Bill so day two on the socks huh turn them inside out they're fine you uh not feeling good well I'll tell you Bill she's my wife and I love her but she's hell on the lining of a stomach Jean you forgot to pick up film for the camera I'll go get it see you Jean you uh you mind if I give you a little advice shoot I am all ears and stomach acid this this little trick I use when uh when your daughter gets on my nerves not not that Judy ever gets on my nerves yeah yeah quit sucking up what do you got see when she starts yelling at me I ask myself what would I rather do for the next half hour argue with my wife or spend quality time with the TV I calmly say Judy you have a point she walks away and I'm back to the only button worth pushing but you lost the argument no no no that's the beauty of it Judy thinks she won cuz she heard you have a point but in my head I was telling her to quit yapping it's it's like a secret language I call call it wife away oh Jean either open a window or put on some shoes we got to eat in here tonight you know Helen what you have a point thank you did you see that that's wife away does it always work that well I have low blood pressure Jean it ain't because of my healthy diet and so I got up all my nerve and I walked across that dance floor to the prettiest girl there and that gorgeous girl was your grandmother 6 months later we were married it's a sweet story Jean but it was eight months later Helen when you're right you're right except when you're wrong hasn't this been the best Thanksgiving ever what makes this year so different Lauren what oh what a great dinner you have made Aunt Linda oh that is so sweet honey Brian uh I I would like some more this really was a wonderful meal the least I can do is clear the table Jean get up and help me nothing would make me happier except if you would kiss my ass what's going on I don't know but isn't it nice I've never seen them get along like this it's like Linda put something in the stuffing well it's Sage mushrooms and a secret ingredient I'll take to my gve walnuts this has been a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner and I would like to make a toast to someone who went out of their way to make this night special a dad that is so sweet my son-in-law Bill what Bill taught me something today that I will never forget really not necessary Jean better left unsa he taught me that family is the most important thing of all oh that and to my wife Helen who for 42 years has been the apple of my eye you want to know what that means no that was such a sweet toast d That's my genie jelly beanie what kind of mushrooms did you use I can't believe my parents it's a miracle they didn't yell at each other once well I think that sometimes life hands you Little Miracles and all you can do is be thankful for them just like I'm thankful for you now what do you say we go over the river and through the woods oh I've got a great idea I bet I'll second it one I good down and get us some pies so we could eat it right after just when I think I can't love you anymore go and say something like that not the pies Linda made the store bought one [Laughter] duh turn off the light turn off the light six and Pie six and pie I'm going to get me some six and [Laughter] Pie what's the matter where's the pie I just saw my parents having sex on the couch please tell me that's the name of a drink I thought they were supposed to be in Brian's room they were but for some reason they were downstairs having sex on the couch it's too bad I like that couch me too I also like the whole first floor of the house and my retinas it's all got to go do you think they saw you oh they saw me they saw me and they freaked out and they jumped up and oh bill I don't ever want to get old what are we going to do I don't even think I can look at them keep singing with his tongue in her ear Judy Judy you can't erase those memories so don't give them to me [Laughter] morning morning morning morning uh past the thanks you're done with [Laughter] the oh Lind off God that's always nice to be welcomed I come over and make everyone a morning after Thanksgiving breakfast Linda honey that's very sweet oh it's my pleasure mom now I I know you may have been stuffed last night I'll bet by now you're ready for a little more huh so uh anything fun happened after I left last night no just a lot of sleeping a lot of Zas okay hey I thought we had sausage who hit the sausage Judy have you seen the sausage could you please stop talking okay what's going on here nothing's going on yes there is no you're all acting weird you know this family always keeps secrets from me it's like it's like I'm some sort of a second class citizen you know it's it's not fair I demand to know what's going on I'm not a part of this family last night I walked in at mom and dad having sex okay have a good breakfast I'm sorry honey I know we shouldn't have done that in your living room oh it's okay Mom we would have gone upstairs but with your father it's use it or lose it okay I am really sorry you had to us like morning morning it's just that I had some wine and I've never seen your father more Charming he was sweet talking to me all day long and Jean wa that's too much butter it's a sliver it's a pat it's a sliver it's a pat you know what I can't do this anymore do what jean pretend to be nice to you pretend that's right I've been telling you all a whole lot of funny crap just to shut you up wait a minute so all those nice things you said yesterday were just a load of garbage this time I can say it and mean it you're right darling let me ask you this Jean if I'm so annoying how come you were in such a hurry to get me on that couch last night because you're a great piece of ass I could just never get you to stop nagging me long enough for me to enjoy it Dad I can't believe you lied to M that's terrible what are you mad at me for I got the idea from Bill it's what he's done with you your entire Mar wow ah lovely so Bill's been telling me a bunch of funny crap just to shut me up a secret language he uses it he he calls it wife away wow oh it has a name that's cute honey I know it's going to sound like I'm just trying to cover my own butt when I say this but uh I think your father's had a stroke so that's how you feel about me Bill I nag you so much you have to make up a whole language just to deal with me and then you teach it to my father right you know what none of this would have happened if you just had the courage to tell your parents that a week is too long for them to stay [Laughter] all right I I took a sip from man Linda's wine last night it'll never happen again I'm I'm sorry now leave me alone I had no idea we was such a burden to you you're not a burden no no no no we get it you don't want us around you could have told the truth when we asked you but uh this works too we'll have our bags packed by noon I'll mail you the socks well Brian's drinking I'm not happy about that hey hi sorry I couldn't convince your parents to stay well they were pretty angry Judy Judy couch couch couch thanks and I do mean thanks not like when you say thanks which I recently learned mean shut up Hy I just told your dad that stuff to stop your parents bickering I didn't mean any of it uhuh so you've never used wife away on me okay maybe a couple of times over the course of 15 years but only when I really have to oh only when you really have to only when I'm such a horrible nag you need to use tricks to get me to shut up that is so childish you know you're right I shouldn't have done it it was a stupid thing to do I'm sorry you feel better now yeah a little that's cuz I just did it again and it worked we fight I tell you I'm sorry and you feel better you may not like it lady but it works that's what our marriage is about lies deception Judy honey don't cry I can't believe I said all that stuff stuff of course that's not what's kept us together I'm so so sorry re really this time ha you damn right you're sorry oh wait a minute you just faked crying of course I did that's what I do when I want a real apology out of you ha so so every time you cry you're just doing it to get an apology out of me no Sometimes I Cry For Real the beauty of it is you'll never know which is which it's a little something I call Brilliant it's not as catchy as wife away but it's very effective wow you're evil I'm Into You we've already been over the river but we never made it through the woods I'm not sure what that means but come me in catch catch catch catch [Laughter] don't lie to me Bill okay never I suck my teeth after every meal how that's s Dr k your wife's on the phone oh okay be back in a minute to take some pictures of your teeth uh you already took X-rays I know these are Polaroids that we use to scare the other patients into floss hey I'm a tooth model guess what I heard there's a position opening up in the Michigan Avenue office and Dr Gerber's deciding between me and Colleen oh Colleen the cute blonde with the dimples who only makes me love you more each day I really hope I get this promotion and be closer to home and more money okay as a businessman I'm going to give you some important career advice put your nose to the grindstone and by grindstone I mean his butt is the brown noser I'd like to think I could get this promotion on my hard work and Merit hard work and Merit been in America long all right all right we both know you deserve this promotion but the world isn't always Fair you got to have some kind of edge I know find something in common with them like what well how about uh ballet I mean look at all these ballet posters okay first of all that's Opera second of all that's all I know about that on Judy you don't have to know about something to talk about it just last week I was talking to someone about World War II I forget who it was but I threw around a few key words they thought I was a genius yeah that was Lauren and she got a D on that paper all right Bill you're free to go I'll see you in 6 months or 6,000 Milk Duds whichever comes first smart money's on the Duds Bara sill what a wonderful Opera Judy you remember the first time we saw that yeah bye Bill don't want to be late for work oh I didn't know you guys were Opera fans oh well Judy's really the fan she got me into it although I do really enjoy the uh lto really no kidding What's your favorite wh why don't you take a guess all right uh let rata man you're good well uh I should be going you two probably have a lot to talk about we do now thank you honey don't mention it fig fig fig that's going to be going around in my head all [Laughter] day make me happy [Music] 5 4 3 2 1 yeah win Victory CH hey Judy's home chug hey honey how'd work go after I left oh great thanks for convincing my boss I was an opera expert next time why don't you just tell him I'm fluent in Russian I can help you with that n gazal it means nobody told me you had three children so uh how'd it work uh it worked so well that he gave us his tickets to the Opera Friday night I don't want to go to the Opera give them back oh that's a great idea bill I'll send a card Opera sucks I'm a big fat liar PS can I have that promotion love Judy and Senor labretto technically PS comes after that's not important damn people pay a lot of money to see an opera wow these cost more than hockey tickets hey I got an idea Carl isn't your brother a ticket broker yeah he's the successful one stop rubbing it in dad Judy here's what we do we trade in these opera tickets and get Carl's brother to get us some Black Hawks tickets right on the glass oh man I never sat on the glass before that'd be so great no what am I talking about we can't trade in his tickets well is Dr Gerber going to be at the Opera no he's got some Charity Dinner so he'll never know we have a great time at the hockey game you say we went to the Opera it's a win-win situation I don't know Bill Judy now stop that bill that's not fair I'm serious okay fine all right screw the Opera we're going again Judy would you hold this mold in place for me please okay got it Judy can I ask you a question you know my Michigan Avenue office I'll take it take what your question well I leave my schedule at the Michigan Avenue office and I got my dates confused it turns out that the uh the charity benefit isn't until next weekend right yeah and my wife really gave me the business about giving away the opera tickets so I was wondering could I maybe have them back uh you're upset I can tell no no no I'm not upset it's just that when Bill saw the tickets he was so happy and he's been very sad lately he's a sad man really doesn't seem sad it bottled up but I'm very sensitive to other people's pain Judy Judy uh you want to lighten up on the pressure please oh sorry yeah okay you know what forget about what I said you and Bill you go to the Opera okay and have a great time just grab my wife a program on the way out all right well that's very sweet of you a program yeah Beverly collects them they're the only thing she collects that's free and I like to encourage that I can get you one of those easy cuz they get them out there at the Opera that I'm going to and you're going to have a great time and Monday morning you and I we're going to have coffee you're going to give me every detail all right okay yeah so why don't you take the mold out and uh clean them up must have forgotten to set the timer hey Dad if you and Mom go to the hockey game Friday night can I still have my sleepover sure but only if you promise to invite over some horn dog teenage boys and uh make sure they bring beer and cigarettes can you ever just say no can I have a home dog oh what a surprise I come in and Bill's got his head in the fridge sorry I got here first but the oven's free Dad I can't cancel my sleepover now I've already invited everybody oh sleepovers I love sleepovers technically they're not sleepovers if you guess AR there when you wake up hey Aunt Linda could you Shapero my sleepover tomorrow night oh are you kidding yeah that'd be so much fun we can style each other's hair do manicures facials with anti- wrinkle cream we're 13 13 turns to 36 pretty quickly honey Judy I'd like to introduce you to our two new friends front and row hello Judy we're going to get ripped y we can't go to the hockey gate tomorrow night we have to call Carl and get our opera tickets back what my boss wants a program and a total recap of the Opera we have to go wait wait wait wait wait there's got to be a way out of this I got it we get cheap opera tickets for tonight that way you get the program get to learn all about the Opera and we still get to go to the hockey game tomorrow man that nap at work paid off I don't know Phil that's crazy and irresponsible I'm out all right I'm back [Music] [Applause] [Music] in where are you going have to go to the bathroom I have car keys built crap you got the program why can't we just leave Dr Gerber and I are having coffee Monday morning and I got to have details fine whoever said it's not over till the fat lady sings has never been to the [Music] Opera what are you doing I'm looking for food I'm starving oh yes [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] Skittles I'm telling you Colleen Mrs goldar must have been in that chair for a good hour and a half you've never seen so much plaque not even on that plaque Dr Gerber the tools are all sterilized plus I sent out the dental reminders for the next two months yeah yeah yeah great great great great yeah did you hear colleag joke no I missed it must have been too busy working doctor your Michigan Avenue office called and asked if someone could stop by later and help them with bookkeeping I'd be happy too uh so would I no it sounds like Colleen has a cover thanks anyway J you know we're very excited about going to the Opera tonight Giovani giosa is playing the role of Alfredo really yeah and they say the Meto soprano is extraordinary particularly her vbr no kidding who is it her name is very hard to pronounce Angelina sorelli de Cella yeah that's it must take her a while to sign a check huh Judy it's really great having somebody in the office with whom I I can share my passion for the Opera yeah we do have that in common you want to talk Opera you come see me you know it's really killing me that I'm going to have to miss tonight's performance oh yeah what a shame wait maybe I don't have to miss it you know what we're screwed old news let's go to the game oh we're not going to the game now what I don't know what happened all of a sudden Colleen was showing me up so I started kissing his butt like you told me I was throwing around words metso soprano ver I even think I said burrito he didn't even notice he loved me then bam he's going to the Opera again tonight well it's a big theater he'll never notice we're not there oh he'll notice he managed to get seats right next to the ones he gave us we have to get our tickets back and go to the again unless right I'll go put on my suit Bill where's Carl with those opera tickets he said he'd be here he'll be here is someone cooking candy no I think I just ironed over a couple of Skittles ah I just made a new flavor lemon lime Cherry lint D why does Lauren have to have her sleep over tonight why what's the problem there's a bunch of 13-year-old girls upstairs running around in their pajamas and hitting each other with pillows Merry Christmas Son Dad I'm trying to study and they keep running into my room and tickling me and a happy new year thanks Dad how would you like it if I invited all the mom's friends over to run into your room and tickle you not going to happen God that better be Carl okay people I tried to get back your original Opera seats but they were already gone so I got you even better seats fifth row Center who loves Carl that doesn't help us at all we need the same seats back I love Carl uh it's over Judy I'm out of ideas there's absolutely no solution to this problem I'm no we got great seats what if we go to the Opera and ask the people in our old seats if they'll trade with us I don't know will you do it if we pretend it's your idea okay but act surprised when I come up with it in the car who's ready for marshmallow yummies hey hey hey what do you think you're doing watching TV I have a lot more super fun stuff planned and Linda you've already made us watch you try on all of your new outfits we were playing fashion show now who's ready for a game of remember me oh okay you go away and we'll see if we can remember you did you just ask me someone's on popcorn Duty now remember me is a game where we call boys and have a little bit of fun with them oo cboy that's right ladies okay I'll go first hi Jason it's Linda remember me yeah that's right you ditched me at that French restaurant made me pick up the check this a jerk my new boyfriend is a biker with a black belt in karate and um he's going to kick you in the throat yeah you ever been kicked in the throat doesn't feel too good kind of like how you ripped out my heart that didn't feel too good either loser was that a ho who wants to go next no one okay I'll go again next guy's name is Frank apparently my boobs weren't big enough for him here is H1 and two Gerber's not here yet just need these people to show up we trade and we're home free you mean we're home free after 4 and 1/2 hours of ass moming boredom shoot here he is hi we're just sitting here enjoying our seats good seats Judy bill you remember my wife Beverly nice to see you it's been a while I haven't seen you two since the Easter party at our house that's right and can I just say again how sorry I am about your trellis but your kid bet me I couldn't climb it he was right oh look honey who is is the Irvings oh don't just Wave It's the Irvings you should go ask her about her surgery you're right we should pars how did you uh they're old I took a shot all right so far so good the people haven't even shown up excuse me you're in our seats say how'd you like even better seats fifth row Center no thank you come on they're great seats and after she's had the baby you're not going to get out that often you might as well live it up now she's not pregnant well whose fault is that get down to the good seats and start r rancing her she's my sister we're in a real Jam would you just mind training seats with us would we be doing you a favor a big one then no excuse me we'll trade seats with you done no what are you doing trust me now uh you two how' you feel about moving up a row you'd be closer to the stage plus you won't have to sit behind this guy's melow sure we have for seats in the row behind where our seats are it's a dark theater your boss will never know you know I think I'm smarter when I'm wearing this suit over here how are the Irvings heavily medicated I don't think they know who we were this is going to be so much fun yeah I'm really looking forward to this something's wrong huh this is not our row huh oh no no no this is definitely not our seats we're one row up excuse me I believe you're in our seats yeah no they made us move why would we make the move they tried to get us to move first it's true we saw the whole thing somebody tell me what's going on here all right last night we were attacked the mugger made off with our opera tickets he was about this tall bald beard wearing a blue suit de that's him yeah you're absolutely right Officer there will be no more threatening phone calls tonight you know girls at the sa boy crazy good night now we have a slumber party secret can we watch a movie now yeah an Linda just has one more phone call to make yeah Jason thanks a lot for calling the cops you big woman no no no no don't deny it I know it was you hey should we tell her we're the ones that called the cops to see where this goes no you lied to me pretended you like the Opera sold my tickets and embarrassed me in front of the entire section wait a second yep that's it that's everything okay I'll admit we made a few mistakes but it's just because I wanted to work in the Michigan Avenue office I'm so sorry that I lied to you well I appreciate your honesty Judy you do work hard I can assure you this won't affect your chances for promotion really no I just lied how's it feel hey my wife only made one mistake and that was listening to me it's okay Bill Colleen probably deserves that promotion I mean she's there all the time she's there when I get there in the morning when I leave okay no no I mean she's there almost every weekend I mean she even agreed to go to that Dental convention with you and Toledo yeah okay no I give Callen credit I mean why would a beautiful single woman want to spend her weekend with her boss in Toledo Nathan why are you still talking to these people we've got to get back to our seats I I'll be with you in a minute sweee all right you happy you got me you keep quiet to promotion's yours I don't want to get a promotion this way uh yes she does she also wants an extra week's vacation fine but don't think this means you can push me around because nobody pushes me around Nathan I'm coming sweetheart Judy I'm proud of you proud of me the only reason I got the promotion is because of blackmail oh you worked hard for it you're a capable confident reliable employee if there's one thing our kids should learn from your example it's Bill Bill if we hurry we can can catch the end of the hockey game on TV good cuz I didn't know where I was going with [Music] that God I can't believe the goose would do something like this don't they know if they up the Shaving like to get me some of that I know I'm not allowed to touch but there's no law against dreaming I got to get a better look um excuse me uh my friends and I were just uh wondering if um you could get out of the way you're blocking the big TV she is so beautiful I wish I could take her home with me Bill I'm not married but is this what love feels like yeah except with this you can turn it on and fall asleep without getting yelled at three grand that's some love I can't afford no guys I got a little surprise for you this is the floor model with a beautiful little scrape right on the side so with our employee discount this is only like a th000 bucks I can't believe I blew my last paycheck on brakes for my car th000 bucks that's a pretty good deal yeah I was actually thinking about buying it myself but uh I'm kind of saving up to get that tattoo on my back colored in so you going to buy it n even at that price Judy would never go for it which isn't fair cuz I work damn hard for my money customer needs assist and bathroom movie Terms of Endearment I rented your second favorite movie Fried Green Tomatoes I rented a movie uh St Elmo's Fire oh I love that movie you do know it's not about a big fire right I know it's about a group of college graduates they thought they'd be friends forever but forever couldn't last brief nudity yes so oh what's with the chick flick well I saw this and it reminded me of the time we went to see it in the theater I remember looking at you and thinking this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with oh bill that is so [Music] sweet God our TV is so small I knew it what you want a new television no that would be crazy I want a SL damaged floor model and uh with my employee discount they're practically paying me to take it oh how much are they paying you negative $1,000 oh we can't spend that kind of money I knew you were going to say that so I've come up with a complete solution for this entire problem bill it's not going to come to you I know listen when it comes to our financial decisions we both have to agree on everything all right all in favor of buying the TV raise raise your hand that doesn't count oh looks like somebody's regretting the vote they already cast cut it out all right fine let's just watch the tiny little movie hey hey Linda what you guys up to watching a movie o St Elmo's Fire Andrew McCarthy and Rob blow R love to be the meat in that sandwich I'm guessing that bread would have to awfully toasted you want beer yeah that'd be nice oh bill there's a spider on your pants where where oops my mistake uh but now that you're up can you get us some beer what a night no new TV crappy movie bag of jelly beans I ate on the way home really creating problems okay here's H half the money that you loaned me wait wait wait wait wait what did you just say I'm just paying Judy back Judy loan you money oh but that can't be possible cuz that would be a financial decision I would have been a part of hey Bill look there's nudity so you loaned her money without telling me was an emergency she needed a new transmission and besides she's going to pay us back when she gets her bonus next week yeah like I always do Linda like you always do okay now I get it there's a loophole in our money rules and it's about uh ooh this Big Bill there's a big difference in spending money on a television and loaning money to someone in an emergency yeah like when I had that big date and I had to get my teeth whitened will you please shut up when you spend money it's different than when you loan money when you spend it you you never see it again when you loan it you get it back that's why they call it a loan oh a loan like how you make our financial decisions alone okay Bill I get your point fine you know what I'm going to the bar I'm I'm going to have a few beers and I'm not going to ask you if I can buy them I'm going to make that financial decision alone there's 20 bucks in my purse than Judy and I decided we can't buy the TV what's the matter mommy wouldn't let you buy it no Judy and I came to a mutual decision that it would be IR responsible now mommy won't let him buy it because I let her not let me buy it oo you're so tough when you're doing what you're told you see this is why you don't marry the pretty ones they tell you what to do you marry a woman with bad skin and thick ankles she'll carry that TV home for you man this TV belongs in one of our places yeah every Sunday we could get together watch the game well you know I've got 600 bucks in my tattoo fund I know I could get a hundred bucks for my car but that still leaves me like $300 short I'm not going to have that kind of scratch until next week unless I get a loan wait wait wait did you just say a loan of course that's exactly what you're going to get are you kidding I'd never qualify oh that's because you've never been to the bank of Bill my friend is that near the strip club on HED yeah sometimes see as someone once told me when you spend money it's gone but when you loan money it comes back I'm lost I loan you the money to buy the TV and I get to come over to your place to watch it anytime I want you sure that's going to be all right with Mommy hey I'm the man of the house cuz I'm taking the rules she laid down and twisting them to suit my needs wow you know you guys up in bathroom fixtures are pretty sharp our model is we're number one and number two lost again I'm sorry Mom what is going on the water in the shower was so cold I nearly jumped out of my skin that's because the hot water heater broke this morning Lauren didn't you see the sign I put on the bathroom door what sign oh put this on the bathroom door well what am I supposed to do now okay after dinner I'll boil you some water you can take a bath what are we frontier people yeah now go upstairs before we marry you off oh I'm so glad you're home yeah it's comforting when the man of the house walks through the door wait wait wait a minute why are you glad I'm home wait wait why are you the man of the house well I'm glad you asked because today I exercise my power of Financial Freedom oh please tell me you did not buy that TV of course not cuz as you explained to me when you spend money you don't get it back but when you loan money what did you do I loaned the money to Jeff from Electronics to buy the TV which per our conversation last night only requires one vote ding but Bill what if something breaks and we need to come up with cash real quick well that's not going to happen Miss Doom and Gloom you got nothing well you got me honey would you do me a favor and put some hot water in that pot over there sure you're darn right I got you cuz I found a way to enjoy the pleasures of the big screen without spending any money you are a super duper genius tell me more sounds like someone's a little jealous cuz I beat them at their own game this isn't really about the money is it Judy it's about power who has it and who wants it how's that water coming still not H so now I have the power to watch football every Sunday at Jeff's house on a big screen that costs us uh let me add it up 0 and we all live happily ever after that's a cute little story Bill hey I've got a story for you today the water heater broke the end water heater broke yes you could stop doing that so in conclusion who here thinks bill made a stupid decision ding I can't believe the water heater broke yeah and it needs to be replaced so you got to go to Jeff and get that money back well why don't you go get the money back from Linda I did but it's not enough for a new water heater all right I'll just fix the one we already have I am the man of the house oh bill you are not a fixer that's not true I fixed the railing on the basement stairs now fix that water heater damn right get the money back from Jeff hey Carl didn't know you were working today I'm not my cable's out uh why you wearing your work Blazer cuz I don't want to look like a loser standing here watching cartoons on my day off you have you seen Jeff no way man sick people gross me out what oh you didn't hear Jeff broke his pelvis trying to move that big TV he bought he's flat on his back at his mother's place he broke his pelvis that's horrible yeah real horrible guy gets to lie in bed for two months watching a big screen TV while people attend to his pelvis and if you're not familiar with the pelvis it's in this area what's he going to do for money you know food rent the paying back of loans I took up a collection for it that's great Carl how much you got looks like a couple bucks oh come on you got to do better than this yeah well people don't exactly dig deep When you mention the name Jeff Hackman wait wait a minute that's Jeff Hackman oh my God I loaned money to Hackman never pay you bman you know how he got that nickname shut up is the fast water warm yet almost you know this stinks how much longer is the water heater going to be out I don't know could be another day you know I heard you and Dad talking about finances I have a computer program that could help you hey wait a minute that's not a bad idea how much do you think we could get for your computer hi oh God that's not I've got the money to solve your problems hi no but I brought you flowers you spent money on flowers no somebody send them to Jeff why are people sending Jeff flowers is Jeff dead no he did kind of break his pelvis what how getting the TV home so I'm guessing you didn't didn't get the money what is the matter with you a man's pelvis has been crushed and all you can think about is the money sometimes Judy you make me so angry this whole thing with you pretending to be the angry one never works bill that makes me so mad go on Bill at this point I'm just in it for the show you know what I was thinking about this on the way home why don't we have the money what are you saying well you're the one who handles all the bills around here and you're so sure we're out of money you know what I'm a professional business man I bet if I took a look at our books I could find an extra couple of hundred bucks oh you couldn't find a couple of hundred bucks in a pile of a couple of hundred bucks all right bring it on or are you afraid I'm going to find all your hidden money a come on Bill let's go on a hunt for all the hidden money this should be fun let's start with the blue folder o the blue folder golly sure hope I can understand it okay this is our monthly bank statement this is what we make every month and this is what we spend oh well we make more than we spend that's good news well it would be if we didn't have the red folder okay already I can see we would save money by having one less folder that's good bill put the 39 cents in your call all right then we use the red folder to hold the bills that we're juggling like this bill the credit card debt wow what idiot gave us that much credit then there are the instal the doctor's Bill the dentist's bill Student Activity fees dance class field trips then there's the bills we pay every month the mortgage the phone the gas and car insurance yeah stop stop stop stop I'm out and this month is very tough bill because the car needed new tires the property tax was du and now you see why you can't go lending people money you loaned money to Linda what if something had happened to her she could have been hit by a car or pushed under a train or bored by two bulls that were running at each other head on or plummeted I see you've given us a lot of thought sometimes it's hard for me to fall asleep at night my point is Bill this stuff is hard and I'm on my own whenever I bring up our finances you always Judy in my defense that's just because all this stuff is boring and hard that's right bill it is but I do it for us and if you're going to give me the responsibility then you can't complain about it on the other hand I should have talked to you first before I loan Linda money thank you you're welcome and we're agreed I never have to look at the blue folder again yes now we got to go get our money back from Jeff I don't think Jeff has any money well maybe not but he's got a big screen TV that's onethird ours and a receipt now let's go wow you are so smart why did you marry me because booze goes right to my head [Music] evening I'm I'm Bill Miller this is my wife Judy I I work with your son we just wanted to come by and see how he's doing oh that's so sweet of you we just love Jeff well he's a little loopy right now what with all the medication so you'll have to bear with him come on in we uh bought him some flowers oh thank you how thoughtful well it's the least we could do for our dear dear friend Jeff how long have you known my son is he sleeping I think so 15 years so you knew him when he was with Annie oh yeah Annie good thing he got rid of her huh she died well when someone dies you you you don't want to keep them around maybe we should get these in some water yeah I'll go find a BAS okay I'll go distract the old lady while you shake down the sick guy my God how low have we sunk there's my guy hey Jeff Bill hey Bill Bill Bill words taste like peaches today hey uh Hey where's the TV oh it's over at my place I had a heck of a time getting it in there I'm surprised I didn't hurt myself this might not be the best time to ask but our water heater busted and I need the money I loaned you to pay the plumber plumber plumber Plum PL PL that one tastes like kumquats Jeff look I'm sorry but I need to return the TV for the money okay man do whatever you got to do whatever great great great I'm going to need your house keys and your receipt truck my my pocket you're you're not wearing pants are you no I'm [Music] not C for over there right right this way honey oh I'm just such a neat Freak come this way hey guess what Phil apparently I'm the same size as Annie and Mrs Hackman's going to give me a couple bags of her old clothes I think you better try them on first the receipt in your wallet Jeff Jeff Jeff Bill hey buddy what's happening I need to find the receipt okay man here give me my wallet I'll look for it wait first take my mittens off oh thank you don't lose those all right okay here you go that's your driver's license I'm sorry officer I'm a little drunk give me the wallet maybe I can find it Bill come here come here did you hear what happened to Jeff you're Jeff I am that means I'm the guy who broke his keep it down what are you doing why do you have his wallet and keys uh my husband was angry because I loaned my sister some money so he gave some money to Jeff to buy the TV and now our water heater broke so we need that money back could you please help us oh sure God yeah let me get my checkbook really no now get the hell out of my house all right Jeff bye Jeff no no you're Jeff I am that means I'm the guy that broke his ey all right we're leaving well the bright side at least we didn't take advantage of a drugged out guy laid up in a hospital bed no but we tried but we didn't maybe God has given us this opportunity to do the right thing hey guys hey Carl what are you doing here oh I just came by to give Jeff The Collection I took up for him W looks like you got quite a bit of cash there yeah I took off Jeff's name and taped on a picture of a three-legged dog good thinking yeah I better go in oh hey you you might want to wait a minute they're changing Jeff's bed pan oh gross hey could you take it in for me sure thanks you're a friend H maybe God got a whiff of us and decided to cut us a break we have to at least try to give it to him okay then Judy again I'm calling the car God has spoken I'm good Judy Brian's coming up the walk listen I fix the doorbell Bing Bong what's that a doorbell I put a sign outside that says scream Bing Bong real loud fixed oh bill that's ridiculous Judy wait wait wait wait B B even Goodwill has her limits um what is this an ugly old sweater you want it I bought this for you and I loved it so much that I wore it out um the tags are still on it so are the hippos Ryan I only got this for you cuz you said you like that hippo candle like oh man man that cow seen better days come on buddy she's sitting right here Daddy can I keep my cow sure honey hey what's all this stuff your mom's giving it all away first microscope this is where I discovered that the mitochondria is the PowerHouse of the cell and beansie too what's wrong with him your mom's throwing away some old stuff she's throwing away my handsome s and the big Gold Cup that Derek Montgomery drank from don't forget to bring that box to Goodwill want a box sure you can Mom I can't find my boots and I've looked everywhere wrap your feet in grocery bags and slip them in your shoes I'm going to school not back in time you people keep it down I'm trying to get some sleep why is Dad stilling his pajamas because son I'm sick you don't look sick I have a bad case of accumulated sick days if I don't use them now they disappear forever it's an outdated system and I love it found mom don't forget the dance is on Saturday and I still have to buy my dress oh I can't believe it my little girl's going to her first dance mom the Dan is on Saturday and I bruise easily okay okay you know we'll shop for your dress on Saturday while your father's watching football oh I can't can't believe they're leaving me alone to watch football Bill isn't there something you want to tell Lauren before her first big dance oh God right honey Lauren when a young man and a young woman get together they sometimes do a little thing called break dancing now L your hands and do way come on honey I'm not stopp until you do it all right there you go is that it oh yeah boys are going to want to touch you don't let them nobody dances at a Junior High dance anyway I did yeah with your Spanish teacher her name is senora mendosa and she asked me let's go okay Bill here's a list of things I want you to do around the house for the next few days this but honey I'm oh come on this is not fair you got to lay around here on your sick days I had strep throat well it don't blame me because I live a healthy lifestyle is that a waffle baloney sandwich no it's a multi-grain waffle low fat baloney sand it's Heart Smart I'm sure your heart's swelling with pride just do a few of the things on the list Bill I'm tired of being the only one who's responsible around here mommy you didn't wake me up for school okay honey let's go upstairs and play the let's get dress faset like you and Daddy playing with when to come into your room cuz I can't [Applause] [Music] [Music] sleep hey Bill hello Linda take your coat what are you doing here wishing someone else was here to see this and I left my cell phone here yesterday what are you doing home you sick yep I got a nagging pain back here doctor says I need my sister-in-law removed oh are you sure you'll still be able to tour oh hey Judy you're just in time now you missed the concert but you can catch the second show in my night mares what are you guys doing home we need to have a family discussion oh okay I'm all yours I mean just the immediate family oh okay big family secrets none of my business call me okay how come you didn't answer the phone I called you like five times I unplugged it I'm sick oh God you are not sick thanks to you I had to go down to school and get Lauren she got in trouble hi Daddy what happened she and her friends were picking on some girl they were called into the office and sent home for the day did you hit somebody no no they've just been torturing the poor girl for the past two weeks by pretending she's invisible it's moving into my chest there is nothing funny about bullying someone I saw that poor girl in the office and she seemed pretty upset so she's not invisible no Kathy gner is just a big baby we were only kidding around yeah well she didn't find it funny and neither do I we did not raise you to be a bully now get up to your room you are grounded for at least a week no phone no television no I have a dance on Saturday not anymore you don't M this is so unfair oh well you should have thought of that before you start playing where's Cassie Judy aren't you overreacting just a little don't let her hear you say that I want her to go to the dance too but the school thinks this is serious and you know what so do I I think they're making a big deal out of nothing so she pretended somebody was invisible my boss has been doing that to me for 10 years I got over it look bill just back me up on this what if I don't agree with your punishment it doesn't matter when we talk to Lauren we have to show a united front otherwise she'll play one of us against the other united front one of us against the other you thinking what I'm thinking getet it Bill you're sick [Music] I know you think I'm blowing this out of proportion but I just feel like I need to make a point here you know I'm a victim here too this is going on my permanent record how am I ever going to get into a college that will make you proud I'll tell you one thing won't be on an acting scholarship mom you can't keep me from going to the dance oh honey there are so many things I can't do sing fly date other men but I can't keep you from going to that dance this is so unfair Kathy didn't even seen that upset how do you know how Kathy feels junior high is tough enough without having someone pick on you how do you know cuz I've had some firsthand experience with bullies there was this girl Gina mlli who used to pick on me when I was your age oh she made fun of your hair no she what's wrong with my hair nothing it's beautiful keep going well it was a long time ago but the point is it still bothers me that's why you have to look at it from the other person's point of view look I'm really sorry I did it I swear I learned my lesson can I please go to the dance no Lauren I'm sorry but once I give out a punishment it stays otherwise how will you learn anything this house is like a prison tell me about it I've been in this joint for 15 years and I still don't know what I did wrong how okay I finished all my homework and I did all of your chores I'm going up to my room no you're not you're still being punished now I can't find the remote so go stand by the TV and change channels for me is so wrong no what's wrong is that I'm watching The View change change change change go back okay change change stop are you sure y now close your eyes your mom said no TV dad just kidding come here can't believe mom won't let me go to the dance well she's pretty steamed I mean I know I did something wrong and I'm sorry about it but it seems like I've been punished enough why do I have to miss the dance too look maybe your mom overreacted a little but that's just because she doesn't want you to be a bully she's a little sensitive about that I know she told me all about Gina Morelli really she told you about that yeah seems like she's still really upset about it she should be she made that poor girl's life hell wait a minute she made her life hell yeah for a year Gina melli was Gina so smelly it was like a whole song mom told me that Gina bully need her no uh yes yes now if that's what your mom said that's exactly how it went down hi honey look who was trying to sneak a look at the TV now you get upstairs without talking to your mother dad told me the truth about Gina Morelli what you bullied her I can't believe you made me feel bad for you when it was all a big lie I can't believe you told her I was the bully if you're going to lie to our kids you got to fill me in I was not grief out this l oh my God this is not my fault I'm fault free now if you'll excuse me I have a sick day to enjoy Lauren this is not about what I did everything I told you before was for your own good you overreacted mom even dad said so h b i no fault free couldn't last you told her I overreacted what happened to her united [Music] front I can wait here longer than you can do that I can't believe you broke the united front me you're the one who lied to our child what kind of a united front is that maybe I think we shouldn't lie to our children you once told the kids that if they washed the car would bring back their dead goldfish my father did the same thing to me so it isn't a lie it's a family tradition why didn't you just tell her the truth because you can't teach a 13-year-old a lesson by telling them you did the same thing all they hear is my mom did it so I can do it too besides bill this isn't about a lie this all happened because you didn't back me up like we agreed we didn't agree I had no choice you pushed me into it so you honestly believe that I'm being too hard on Mor I'm all for punishing our kids but you've been looking for forward to this dance it's almost like we're punishing ourselves that's how I feel if if if that's all right with you all right fine Lauren can you come here please what are you doing what's happening here but from now on your father's in charge of your punishment I'm done Billy you have total Authority really really so dad can I go to the dance well after careful consideration I have decided that Lauren can go to the dance thank you thank you thank you my decree is final next order of business well since the dance is tomorrow night we're going to have to get you a dress Dad can take me what what fine then you're taking her to buy a dress for her first dance yes yes I am thank you Daddy you have no no idea what you're in for my next decree is that you will walk away angrily and you will give me the [Music] finger Tina what are you doing going to dance like Lauren did you get into Mommy's makeup no what's that all over your face nothing I'm just pretty why don't you go wash a little of the pretty off your face well we're heading out to the mall we'll be home in a half hour or so to shop for a dress you have no idea what you're in for come on Judy it's a kid's dress I'm almost ready dad did you remind her to take her heels yes Lauren I'm reminding you again to bring your heels thanks Dad you don't even know what they're for I do too she needs them for when she's trying on uh a hat a dress bill so that she gets the length right I know I'm not an idiot and if she buys a dress that's at all see-through you need a full slip and stay away from anything that's aine and no Ruffles oh and try to find something in purple she looks so beautiful in purple and whatever you do do not buy what do not buy what come on dad let's go bye mom have fun go get in the car sweetie I uh forgot my keys TAA taffa poofy taffa thanks Dad we have been here for 3 hours and we still can't find a dress what are we going to do don't worry we'll find one how about this one it says glamour gal that's good it also says keep away from open flame even better keep you from smoking hey this one's actually kind of cute you see we found one let's go I have to try it on dad why do you only have one pile of dresses that's what you gave me no I gave you two piles did you mix up the maybe with the fures maybe okay these are the fures and these are the May I'm going to try on a few of the May well why don't you just try on the for sure because a maybe can be a fure but a for sure can never be a maybe I guess you're right my headache started as a maybe and now it's a for sure excuse me are you going to buy that dress maybe for sure I have no idea oh your shoes untie oh thank you hey I'm wearing LS those are M you work here stop them I'm doing what shopping all right well these are no good I think I'm going to try on that purple dress that I found that where's a purple dress I I put it down for one second what that was a fores Shir pile you never put that down the Dan is in 3 hours and I won't have anything to wear we're in a room full of hundreds of dresses there's got to be something to wear look that girl found something that's my purple dress well I'm sure there's one just like it here somewhere yeah in Red so oh Red's pretty look at my hair I look like a giant bottle of ketchup ketchup goes with everything all right I'm here and I know you think I overreacted but we'll talk about that later because I'm not going to miss this moment with my daughter now wait a second you put me in charge and I think Lauren and I are doing just fine oh Mom thank God you're here oh Dad screwed everything up I picked out the perfect dress and then Dad gave it away I put it down for one second you put it down you never put anything down I know that now all right B why don't you go to the food court and get something on a stick good idea I'll put it in my for sure pile all right B you and I still have a lot to discuss and just because I'm here doesn't mean that you're not still grounded after tonight I know Mom okay who has your dress sweetie that lady over there excuse me I think there's been a little misunder understanding you have the dress that my daughter already picked out I don't see your name on it well my husband took her shoing and he doesn't know all the rules and he accidentally set it down how's that my problem look I I'm in the process of teaching my daughter to have respect for other people so I am not going to bully you to get that dress back that'd be wrong I'm not going to make a threatening gesture cuz that send the wrong message so I'm just going to to ask you nicely if you'd please give me back that dress so my daughter's first dance could be the happiest day of her life take it that is so sweet thank you God bless Mom you're the [Music] best Lauren you look so beautiful yeah she's gorgeous I remember my first dance wore the most beautiful dress with ruffles and Lace I felt like a little princess and Dad came in and said how great Judy looked in the dress the year before this is your night I'll go get the camera Lauren since this is your first dance I bought you a little something oh Mom it's beautiful thank you Lauren I'm sorry for lying to you it's just that you know you're my daughter and I know that you're going to take after me a little and I was hoping it' be the good parts and you know not the bad there's a couple of parts of you I wish I had right now oh honey those will come too but for now just enjoy the fact that the boys still notice the color of your eyes hey Judy where's Lauren her rides here Dad I'm right here I don't see Lauren I see some other girl who's much too grownup looking to be Lauren a dad bill you could just tell her she looks nice she does look nice except there's a little something missing that I think it look great with that outfit Bill are you okay just a second sure it's in here somewhere there's so much crap in here hi I'm looking for Gina mlli oh hi this is you know what you would know me from junior high is Judy Michaels oh you do remember me yeah I probably do deserve that I was just calling because I wanted to apologize for the hard time I used to give you oh well I'm glad to hear that so what have you been up too ah your surgeon good for you big fancy house that's great wow me oh um I ended up marrying Bill Miller what's so funny he is not stop laughing stop it stop it oh yeah well you're still grow stuff in his basement that he says he'll take you back in time by the way stay away from him guys it's really late it's time for everyone to be getting to bed Mom it's a Friday night why can't we stay up because you have dance class tomorrow Brian has karate and you both will be exhausted what that me oh sweetie remember the last time you stayed up you kept bumping into stuff the next day oh yeah come on Judy the kids are really enjoying the movie let us stay up a little later all right fine but make sure they brush their teeth and put on their pajamas by the next commercial no problem okay good night guys no falling asleep on the couch you hear me gotcha whatever Warden hey now uh you kids better listen cuz if the inmates get out of hand the warden can get pretty ugly dad she's right behind you oh my God teut it's three in in the morning have you been up this whole time yeah what are you watching animals how long has that big animal been eating that small animal while it's time to turn it off honey wait I have a better idea [Applause] Bill Bill wake up I can't be morning yet it is morning 3:30 in the morning and I just put the kids to bed thanks to you oh don't thank me Judy thank you you're not going to sleep yet okay but you're on your own with this no I want to talk okay you're so hot you're a bad bad girl not that kind of talk about the kids I asked you to get them to bed and you just let them do what they wanted I'm sorry won't happen again yes it will I know I just want you to know there's a perfectly good reason for what happened oh yeah what is it Bill what what just really sick of always being the bad cop while you get to be the good cop you don't always have to be the bad cop like tonight what's the worst that could have happened the kids wake up in the living room on Saturday morning on the bright side Judy if they start to like it we can run out the rooms oh so I should be more fun like you great why don't I wake him up and take him to a rave why there's plenty of Raving here what nothing all right you know what we'll talk about this in the morning Oh goodie what' you say nothing jackass what did you say I called you a jackass oh okay yes hey hey hey hey what are you kids doing this is dangerous something's going to get broken your mother and I have told you a thousand times not to play hockey in the living room she's not here Dad in that case Tina and I are the Blackhawks okay on the ice he has a vandetta hi honey hey we were just uh playing a game of beach ball hockey no I'm the [Music] goalie yeah sorry don't worry about it looks like you're having fun I got pizza I thought we were only allowed to have pizza once a week I made a little change to that rule from now on we can have pizza whenever we want wherever we want let's eat it in front of the TV then maybe maybe later we'll clear out the furniture and have a touch football game well what's going on while your father and I had a little discussion last night and he's convinced me to be more fun so that's what I'm going to do come on pizza's getting cold okay kids get some plates we don't want to get sauce all over the couch oh Bill what's your problem you got a tea party planned jeez lightting up wow sausage onion and bacon I thought we weren't allowed to have this kind of Pizza since dad's 9 of a th000 trombones a that's what windows are for come on kids dig in Tina yeah what are you doing [Music] nothing hey she's been eating ice cream no I hasn't can we have some yeah can we you can't have ice cream until after dinner unless it's in a delicious root beer flow then it's just a beverage Judy all that sugar is going to make him crazy you're right I'm going to eat my pizza in the bathtub you leaving me alone with them and taking a bath get out of my way you get out of my way make me ow Brian I wouldn't take that from her good luck the first aid kits under the sink no pinching no pinching morning honey what you doing I'm just cleaning up this stains from last night's dinner after you went upstairs all hell broke loose Tina ate too much ice cream and started jumping up and down on the couch which set off Brian's motion sickness which made Lauren laugh so hard she shot root beer float through her nose wow I can't believe I slept through all that yeah well I see what you're doing and I just want you to know I've learned my lesson you're sick of always being the bad cop and I already make your job harder when I undermine your Authority I get it now everybody back to normal on three one two hang on Bill I have to ask you something have the kids had breakfast yeah and they're all right yeah and and the house is clean well it's not sticky anymore huh what do you mean huh I got to be honest I did think all hell would break loose but I thought you wouldn't know what to do and you'd panic and come running to me but you didn't it was pretty rough I got through it exactly you can do this what you saying Judy I'm saying that last night I read two chapters of my book in the bathtub the bathtub and then I got nine hours of sleep bill it was like being on vacation no no it was better it was like being alone on vacation and three now everybody's back to normal no no I could be good cop you pick up the slack the kids are fine this is beautiful no no no they're not fine Brian got practically died good luck with that stain a little club soda ought to do the trick Judy you can't change the natural order of the universe hey kids who's up for a game of baseball hockey no no no I just vacuumed in there it's your turn to set the table no it's not I emptied the dishwasher I emptied the dishwasher Now set the table you do it okay enough this happens every night you argue for 15 minutes over something that takes 10 seconds to do your mother's sick of it isn't that right Judy huh you're you're sick of this right oh I wasn't really listening I was just thinking how this bell pepper sort of looks like Jay Lena man I hope you two are happy you've got got your mother really angry she doesn't seem angry that's when she's a the scariest she's so angry she's smiling hey you know what if we put all this food in tortillas we don't need plates my God now she's threatening more fun what are we going to do oh Brian I'm scared just just shut up and set the table whatever you don't have to yell I'm not yelling I'm emphasizing Daddy can I have cereal for dinner ask your mother it's fine with me if it's fine with your father what can I Daddy no honey why not because honey cereal is for breakfast you eat it for dinner your body will think it's morning you won't be able to get to sleep and monsters will come I don't care I want cereal well you can't have it why because I I'm the father in this house what I say goes you're mean okay that's it could you go upstairs and leave us alone oh I can't go upstairs count chalky and I might be hiding under my bed just go it's over Judy what's over did you hear when I said to Tina I sounded just like my father and I refus to sound just like my father oh for the love of M will you turn that crap down God I just did it again that's it that's it I'm done being bad cop oh so I'm supposed to swoop back in and start yelling no thanks I've had a taste of being good cop and I like it I like it a lot well that may be but your plan has one fatal flaw you can only be good cop as long as I'm willing to be bad cop the minute I quit we're back to square one so guess what I quit you can't quit yes I can you know what that means Judy there are two good cops in town two good cops well this should be fun oh yeah sounds like fun now but by tomorrow those kids will be running around like monkeys in a donut shop or are you in a donut shop exactly when that happens which one of us do you think is going to Blink first I guess we'll just have to wait and see come on Judy you've been good cop for a day and a half I've been on the force my entire life oh yeah hey Tina you can have cereal for dinner hey Tina would you rather have cake I'll see you in now hey Linda hey what are you doing makeing myself a sandwich what one ice cream and chocolate chip cookies aren't you going to ruin your dinner not if I don't eat dinner till midnight is that past your bedtime you know we don't really have bed times anymore okay where are your parents they're around so are you aware that your children are running a mck I have no problem with that J fine with me this place looks like it was hit by a tornado Brent what are you doing mom and dad let me take the VCR apart I wanted to see if I could put it back together can you yeah what's that part oh well then no hey going on here and uh do you have any left what's going on we just decided to let our children do whatever they want dinner's ready no one has to eat it if they don't want to damn it I was going to say that but you did did okay I see what's going on here and I think it's I think it's really selfish of the both of you now I told you I was bringing over the pictures of my cats that I took from my photography class and this is just your way of getting rid of me so you don't have to look at them that's you got as guilty as ch that's it I'm leaving I'm walking to the door I'm opening the door I'm closing the door I'm walking down the [Music] stairs I'm okay hey Lord kiddo hey hey how was that ice cream sandwich I let you have fine kind of filling though I think I got to skip dinner oh hey that's cool who says cool anymore kids still say cool oh cool right on listen Mom Dad Bill and Judy Bill and Judy well you know how I've been begging you guys to let me get a belly button ring yeah well since you guys have been so cool lately I thought maybe I could get one one so can I bill can I Judy if you guys aren't cool with this I get it no no no no no it's it's cool with me all kinds of cool you just got to ask your mother mom no I knew it I mean no you don't have to ask ask me if your father says yes and the answer is yes oh my God I can't believe it oh you are the best thank you so much don't mention it can you take me tomorrow take you tomorrow yeah since I'm only 13 I have to have a parent accompany me so can you dad I mean Bill oh yeah sure oh thank you so much you're the best oh looks like I'm taking my little girl to get her belly button pierced sure does so you getting ready to Blink not even close really me neither see these eyes wide open baby oh yeah yeah how was karate I broke a board with my head really well actually I lost my balance trying to kick and fell into into a wall but a board did break good for you honey so Lauren's getting her belly button pierced huh we're cool with it okay we're cool parents got it okay okay you know Mom and you are cool thanks can I drive the car what just for a little bit you're 14 Randy moscot's only 14 he gets to drive a car all the time you don't have a friend named Randy moscot I know but Mom there's no snow on the ground and I promise I'll be careful I said no please just around this parking lot over there it's totally empty Brian I'm sorry you can't drive fine I bet dad would let me what you say Dad he'd let me drive then again he's the fun one he is is he what are you doing switch places you mean it y my God I can't believe this is [Laughter] happening okay the important thing is to keep your hands on the wheel at all times 10 and two really cuz Dad's hands are usually at noon and his nose well I'm going to teach you the right way okay grab that handle there and very slowly put it into Drive slowly yes ma'am you want to be on The Brak when you do that Brian which one's the break the one on your left which one's that not that [Laughter] one wow I keep seeing that squirrel me too and then those bushes me too and then that dumpster what Mommy needs to see next A beer when you get to the kitchen the fridge is on your left hey Judy oh Bill sit down what's going on well Brian asked me if he could drive the car and let's just say I'm not playing this good cop bad cop game anymore cuz you wouldn't let him huh you blinked no actually I didn't I let him drive and when we hit the dumpster we all blinked except the squirrel he ran over he'll never blink again you let him drive I know it was stupid but he asked and I didn't want to be bad cop I know he asked but you weren't supposed to let him wait a minute what nothing oh my God you put him up to it no I didn't Brian did your father put you up to it yes wow I don't believe you you were supposed to say no you were supposed to Blink I did say no but he kept asking what you were supposed to stop asking once she said no I I know but I really wanted to drive I'm just a kid my judgment's not very good it's okay honey no it's not this house is out of control we need boundaries look at this tin you're all sticky come on come on I'm going to get you a bath and a hot meal thank you Brian can't believe you made him ask me to drive I can't believe you let him drive I guess we're both idiots oh my God Lauren's belly button ring don't worry she didn't go through with it we went into the place and this big pierced guy came in with a huge needle and she got scared and asked daddy to take her home you blinked it didn't you of course I did she was checking out tattoos she was never going to Blink I'm just glad one of us used good judgment today so I guess this means the days of two good cops are over oh yeah I sure we'll miss reading in the tub I can be bad cop every once in a while I'm not going to lie to you Judy it's nice pushing small people around thanks Bill yeah don't mention it Lauren get off the phone and start your homework although Brian can be bad cop till the kids go to bed then I'll be bad cop for the rest of the night well we won't need a bad cop once the kids go to officer I'm a bad bad girl driving down a deserted Country Lane hey Brian you're a quick thing right yeah you know actually some of my teachers even said yeah very funny dad although I don't think Mom would find it very funny I don't care what your mother thinks dad she's right behind you oh isn't it funny how your mother's always right behind me I'll tell you one thing if she is she can kiss my butt lay one on there Judy come on right cheek or left nice try Lauren what Dad Bill are you going to turn around that depends from Brian's eighth birthday party that was 6 years ago yeah I got him so you can quit bugging me look at this here you are where in mama's belly wow just that and Daddy's belly you I know sweetie but we're pretty sure it's going to have a long neck and a foamy head now why don't you go wash up I better start dinner Linda and her new boyfriend will be here any minute I thought I'd fire up the barbecue and grill tonight it's freezing out there you're going to be standing out there all by yourself while we're in here getting to know Linda's new guy and oh okay I can see where you're going with this by Bill Bye Bill bye Linda hello sweet freezing cold Hey where's Trevor I had to get in here first and tell you something I'm 27 you told him you were 27 why do you want to start off a relationship on aive you know a voice in my head asked the same question fortunately it was drowned out by a louder voice screaming he's young and hot lie lie your 37-year-old ass off Linda that is so shallow when are you sorry Linda I I couldn't find your lipstick hey hey when are you going to introduce me to your new boyfriend Babys sis you would call me your baby sis since I was a Chicago blls cheerleader yeah we had a lot of fun on that Squad didn't we Linda and uh I end up doing a shot off his abs your sister's wild show your abs sweetie no that's all right wow that's a lot of ABS touch them touch them no I don't want to touch go ahead that's what they're there for oh my what that for six-pack huh six-pack who wants to tap a keg Trevor this is my husband Bill Bill this is Linda's boyfriend Trevor nice to meet you you too why youall sweaty I was trying to get the grill out of the garage I couldn't get the door to open Trevor honey could you open the garage door for Bill sure I wouldn't bother it's frozen shut maybe Trevor could melt it with his eyes you know I don't mind taking a look I'll give you a hand oh no bill we don't want you to hurt yourself Trevor looks like he can handle it he lifts weights yeah and not just his own off the couch I work out sure you do sweetie Trevor the garage is that we okay I'll be right back oh I don't know about the new guy you're dating but his son seems very nice Linda told him she was 27 okay he'll find out my real age when the time is right trust me he'll find out when the light is right oh you gave up huh no I got it I just threw a little shoulder into it oh come on now I bet you haven't had a little shoulder since you were [Laughter] five it's not that big a thing you know my job keeps me in shape yeah Trevor teaches spinning at the health club that's where we met he's also a triathlete I'm more of a team sport guy you know football basketball hockey until 6:00 and then he switches to game shows wow you you play hockey well I don't play hockey as much as I used to but I still pick up a stick now and then especially if there's a marshmallow at the end of it I haven't had a toasted marshmallow since I was 12 what what year was it when you were 12 Linda oh hi honey hey Bill what's in the bag oh I uh I joined that roller Hockey League at the rec center had to buy some equipment oh this is so cute you're doing all this because of Linda's new boyfriend trip no it's because I want to play hockey and maybe reconnect with my jock root yeah well while you're back there in the 70s pick me up a can of tap Judy I made up my mind I'm playing hockey okay whatever but don't you think you should work your way up to something as strenuous as hockey like maybe you could start by walking past the couch eventually go to the gym after a couple weeks go inside have a look around all right Judy it's a beginner league and I've played hockey before remember I used to be Killer Miller yeah well if you do this you're going to have to change your last name to mured I'm not going to get mured I got the helmet pads gloves and why'd you have to buy all this couldn't you bow this stuff until you found out if you're going to do it more than once I'm going to do it more than once I was born to play hockey oh really well let's visit a place I like to call Bill's closet of Lost Dreams there was the summer you were born to fish he hey hey in my defense I only gave up because worms are icky and the winter you were born to ski I was born to ski I just wasn't born to stop and that part of the afternoon you were born to scuba dive I don't care if sharks don't live in lakes that was a shark come on what are you doing huh we're playing a 3-2 iron D you can't play the point unless you get back on De I know that this is the beginner league right yeah but it's also hockey I get on te hey back off pal oh you want some of this huh hey you're a girl so are you huddle up yeah come on huddle everybody show some hustle all right now we can beat these guys but we can't count on Phil to help Phil sucks I know let's take our game to the outside keep the play away from Phil okay let's go man this is a lot harder than I thought it would be still at least I'm doing better than that Phil guy you're out of position Phil no my name's oh wait I'm Phil I don't want to be Phil Phil sucks move your ass Phil [Applause] [Music] Daddy stop stop stop stop stop hi honey what's in the bag Daddy's hockey equipment can I play with it you can have it hey Bill how's hockey well not exactly what I expected uh as a matter of fact I tror got that broken air conditioner out of Brian's room for you guys wow Bill couldn't get that thing to budge so Bill how' it feel to get back in the ring oh great great just great you know I was just telling Judy I can't wait for the next game Tina honey don't play with Daddy's equipment but you said hey hey look at this I have gum oh good where do you want this Judy oh put it in the mud room Bill give him a hand sure it's right in there oh what do you know that's the second rusty old thing he's taking out this week who ho who getting some don't care would you mind if I take away your house boy what well Judy's been having him do stuff around here all day well I figured since we had a young strong guy around I might as well take advantage I mean that old fridge in the garage isn't going to get to the curb on its own bill I could have done that I don't think so it still had the chain around it from when you tried to drag it with the car so tell me about the game bill guys win barely some guy on our team named Phil accidentally knocked the puck into our goal twice what an idiot yeah well did you score any goals yeah two all right bill you know everyone does high fives that's why I'm bringing this one back [Music] [Laughter] what is that noise oh uh just doing some crunches 100 are you feeling all right I feel great really cuz you were walking around like you were kind of sore you sure you didn't overdo it playing hacky not at all come on admit it you're a little sore stop it no you stop it no no no seriously stop I knew it you're sore okay maybe a little well if you can't make it down the stairs I could put your hockey stuff in the closet of lost dreams for you nothing's go in the closet you're right we'll have Trevor carry everything out to the curb you know it's easy to criticize Judy but when was the last time you saw the inside of a gym what's it been like 15 years what I don't have to work out I'm naturally thin there's a difference between being thin and being athletic at least I'm out there trying to be fit trying to be youthful who else is doing that here in this room oh oh oh oh oh it's just me I can start working out anytime I want easy Judy don't get that heart rate up it's not used to it you know what I think I think I'll go with Lyn to the Health Club tomorrow great idea you can sit at the juice bar and tell people how you're naturally thin I'm going to the health club and I'm going to take Trevor's spinning class and after that I might lift weights and after that I might take a kickboxing class well good for you kickboxing yeah right like you could handle that ow okay maybe you can ow you definitely can ow didn't kick you I know I got a cramp are you sure you want to come to spinning class with me it's a pretty intense workout what is it with everyone around here I used to work out a lot when I was younger running from the cops because they caught you with beer is not working out I think I could handle riding a bike that doesn't go anywhere unlike your age which goes backwards for your information I felt guilty making Trevor think I was 27 so this weekend we're celebrating my 28th birthday no presents bill is that you yep for do so you're heading out to your spinning class huh yep good luck oh I don't need luck I have muscles but you better watch yourself playing hockey I can't watch myself I skate too fast Judy the bike's in front Philip early in Trevor's class okay let's go Bill your shoes on time thanks hey Bill hey Carl did you do me a favor buddy what's that help me up oh that's a big there we go hey I brought all that stuff you asked for heat rub Advil ice pack did I forget anything Grandpa shut up either stop making that noise or give me a handful of that too so sore from hockey I can hardly move if you were so sore why don't you just quit I can't quit I opened my big mouth now Judy's working out I could help you Bill you yeah I used to coach my nephews League I know a lot about hockey all right what's in it for you you did say there were some ladies playing right yeah but they're pretty big and brwy hey I said I do it you don't have to sweeten the PT now remember everything we worked on stick to the boards hustle up to the point got it yeah and most of all when we try to score we shoot on the other team's go right now go get in that game you're an animal go get him champ that's it Bill stick with it ey of the tiger watch out buddy oh oh just little bump Bill Shake It Off no blood no foul no blood no foul fou b c your head Bill don't try to get up blow away just blow away come on lady he's down get your stick out of [Music] there hey where did you go I looked for you halfway through class and I couldn't find you really cuz I looked for you too and I couldn't find you so I came home it's no problem I cut a ride with Trevor oh I'm so thirsty can I have a sip of your water yeah sure go ahead do you mind handing it to me what do I have to drink it for you too are you okay yeah why well you're not sore are you cuz you haven't really moved at all since I got here no I'm fine okay hey these the new workout shoes you got okay all right I'm sore every muscle in my body aches it hurts to sit it hurts to stand my crotch feels like it was used as a back stop at a batting cage so does this mean you're going to quit I can't quit made such a big deal about Bill taking up hockey and now he's playing practically every night and he's barely hurting at all well maybe you'll just get used to it I want to get used to it I want to be able to cross my legs again whatever you do don't mention any of this to Bill why cuz you don't want him to know you're in worse shape than he is you just tried to slap me didn't you yeah I'm going to go try to find a bottle of aspirin and if it has a childproof cap so help me God I'll chew right through it [Laughter] oh hi Linda you all right oh I'm fine looks like you dropped your coat there huh oh yeah nice shot those the kind of moves you use on the rink okay okay I'm a little banged up but don't tell Judy oh this is so funny what's so funny just tell you guys are both working out and doing so great you're both Champions yeah thanks don't you have to go pick up your boyfriend from his play date yeah she get going see you sorry better or get that before the ants [Laughter] do I'm not picking up those cookies neither am I that'll teach her I'll go see what's on TV me too you know what's fun just kind of strolling through your house yeah we paid for this place might as well enjoy it where's the remote we we don't have to watch TV yeah we watch Soo much of it we're jocks now you bet we are so spinning going well then oh yeah I live for my spinning class I don't know what i' do without it I feel the same way about hockey I'm hungry can I have dinner sure thing sweetie we'll be there in a minute okay so you going to go get her something yeah I'll get up and get her something unless you want to okay I'll do it well then again there are cookies in there ah she loves cookies okay okay this is ridiculous we're feeding our child food off the floor when I say go let's both admit how we really feel okay together okay ready set go I hate working out you're so sore you can't even point I know I haven't been able to bend my legs for days what were we trying to prove bill I didn't want to be old I wanted to be young like Trevor Bill When We Were Young we weren't even young like Trevor I know but we weren't old like this how did this happen oh it happens to everyone we're not even that old someday we're going to look back on this and want to feel this good oh my God that's depressing well it's not that bad I mean we may have Peak physically but age has given us a lot of other Wonder wonderful things you're right like what wisdom uh no success please oh we must have something to show for our time on this Earth Keys we have a lot more keys than we used to that's right we do have a lot more keys and you know what else after all these years we're still hot for each other you're right and someday we'll have sex again not today right oh God no oh did you just try and kiss me yeah right back at you happy birthday sweetie I can't believe I'm 28 before before you know it you'll be in your late 30s Bill come help me get the plates Linda I forgot I couldn't get tickets to that play oh no I was really looking forward to that what what are we going to do now well we could go back to my place and you can eat the cake off my abs okay

Channel: FIRE DANCE

Views: 7,652

Keywords: ghostbusters afterlife, ghostbusters animated series#14, ghostbusters theme, the extreme ghostbusters, the real ghostbusters

Id: AhftW5pTwBQ

Length: 121min 44sec (7304 seconds)

Published: Fri May 17 2024