Steve Allen's Comedy Room: Show #1 (1984) with Terry Gibbs Sextet

[Music] [Music] [Applause] well sir here we are again with a show called comedy room the premise is very simple if you get four or five marvelously funny comedians together and give them a full 60 minutes and just let them talk about comedy well probably the middle of my own idea they're all programs of this general sort if somehow it's been decided possibly by me many years ago should have a sidekick on the old original tonight's show I had gene Rayburn as my sidekick and johnny has Ed McMahon many TV hosts have had sidekicks and we have a wonderful sidekick at this time ladies and gentlemen a comedian from England we thought it would be interesting to get the British point of view - what's funny because there are so many wonderfully funny English people welcome mr. Joe Baker I can help you with it yes who you waving a Geo we're not seen in London no but there's a man from London here oh really from Twickenham quick enough aren't you sir out there yes will you give me a ride home although you ain't Joe since you are my sidekick if I may I'm just going to go just it was just a very quick thing ere we go you'll get another chance tomorrow anyway I always pick my sidekicks on the side on the first show it's a good luck thing not too much luck for you but for me today we have a room full of comedy giants as for our first two guests although they made their mark in two different comedy media there's a similarity in some of their work Sid Caesar it has been said I mean come to think of it is to the history of television comedy what Charles Chaplin was to film comedy seriously in a class by himself welcome mr. Sid Caesar [Music] [Applause] listen I realize we're 200 yards apart intimate so intimate so that's your room we're gonna be working over here once in a while we'll talk okay a man will be by with drinks and some company water time to bring water okay one way out of it but of all the drinks I've drunk I don't remember that don't you know Kipling don't you do you like Kipling I don't know I've never killed as the answer anyway Shecky Greene ladies and gentlemen I put it to you Shecky Greene began his career in Chicago 35 years ago and he's gonna end it tonight right now in time he became a superstar in Las Vegas in Reno but seriously in Vegas a habit developed that any entertainer any of us appearing in town would always go to see Jackie's act with very good reason he's the champ at that welcome mr. Shecky Greene [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you know you're not robbery no you know and I was joking never did make it in Reno are you serious nope one of the reasons why is I never played Reno I have never told you guys this in tandem have you out of your vamp in in tandem before once in tandem yeah I was interesting now well those did you take a close-up of Shecky again please and do that again now people over 50 in the audience are doubled up laughing and 17-year old people are saying why is that funny you were imitating I mean you know that a man named Hugh Herbert a wonderful character comedian see the audience go yeah now you know but the kids don't know from you Harbert do they know it's a strange thing about it there's a lot of impressions that I do even in my act and these people are dead now and little by little my act is dying off we were going to adopt this to later in the show but all of us on this program passed away some time ago you to taste this is why we preserved ourselves I'll give you another one out that nobody knows sorry okay just seems you can guess who it was a woman a little woman little Russian woman shoots of you know the Wolfman pictures I know he would like very much Mario Goetze right Maria Aspen sky my son there is something I was never going to tell when you were three years old you were bitten by the werewolf that doesn't bother me but don't come into the house that is wolf things all over then when I started to tell you lo these many seconds ago is that you to not get commando yes take you to church if I make it happens to be in my opinion and why do I have my ends of my own throat when I say this to is the funniest men in the world [Music] [Laughter] Japan continues I gotta tell you by said and I ever belong at the same gymnasium we go to a gym gym dancing yes it isn't an it I tied the other to your line other way and that's good and you got more salt coming on later on with bigger words yeah I get Reader's Digest every month they learned you know 20 words a month this month I've learned words like mortal and innocuous inane but it's very hard to sneak in a conversation because I got a feel I'm kind of modeling an aren't you kid I don't know we didn't have their words we go to the same gym he and I I must say for your age whatever it might be you both look terrific you look to reveal for any age but let me tell you we both do the same exes now you button your coat I just want to show you we both work out go ahead look how nice and easy I want to show you what the situation with me don't you exercise in the wrong area what what it what should we was ID table that we eats too much well up why well I'm exercising I do that I'll easy exercising when it stops aching then he goes to the other things it's buy stuff from bringing up the food it's very strong yeah we feel that he is in such shape I cannot take it oh yeah I got myself a China then why is my index finger up to me I don't know memory told me a story one time that is you and Jan and apparently some others were coming out of a studio in New York a man on the sidewalk said something a terrible thing to say I'll just put it that way and that you actually grabbed the man by his jacket and held him up in the air against the wall for a few moments and thought it over it's not a true story yes then I'll be running along I'm gonna be very mean to you tonight I don't want to get lifted up in the air no I stopped all that I really did because it's a it's it's it doesn't pay off it's no good I mean I've stopped everything I've turned my whole life around only 90 degrees not a hundred maybe no all right not a ton maybe I'm sorry oK we've turned the wrong way I had a reputation it also and I never was I never liked to go to you have been in fights yes yes I just met effect just before I got it sure I'll be all right I was told that you once got in a fight with one of the Fischetti brothers as well true story yeah because he's not around anymore as I can tell the story yes I would say Chicago mafia hoodlum right well is it all right to say that I just did oh good both of us coming from Chicago we can say that shortly but it was when I was working with Frank Sinatra excuse me and don't take that personally I was testing the carpet it's nice and soft I don't like Frank Sinatra once saved my life and I was that five guys were beating me up outside of the hotel and I heard Frank said that's enough I was walking into the hotel of the Fountainbleu in Miami Beach Florida you were walking into the harbor when the Fountainbleu in the in the fashion department were in the pump in the Fountainbleu they never spoke in kinder and I couldn't it didn't will you present the Fontainebleau anyway you know so now I was walking in there was five guys that grabbed me and Fischetti was one of the guys in grabbed me you know and they were the tattooing my head with a blackjack seriously seriously yeah and because I was much better looking in this before and I still got the dimple you see the dimple yeah are you safe an N come on every Sunday so how's the mother how's the father had a uncle with the same ad but he was bad anyway Oh [Music] anyway I walked in and these five guys actually grabbed me and I we started beating me up and everything else and I finally broke loose and I got the machete you know night I split his nose and design everything and after the thing was over can you say I want to talk to you I really mean this enosis and don't tell the guys in Chicago about this you know what I mean I beg you don't tell the guys that should coordinate who Danny was talking about the guys aren't sure I know I won't tell the guys in Chicago about this no it's okay we're pals again and then we hug that we embraced and everything else and that was it so we've established that you two gentlemen are physically formidable characters and but that's all behind you know we're gonna try it right now anyway behind you you stated yes I don't know how concentrating on comedy now oh yes and I became a saint I go with Lawson I don't detect I won the Russian dinner you guys both do dialect comedy when did you start that has to start in childhood you hear it in your neighborhood right yeah I was when I was a musician was there when I was a kid mm-hmm and I used to play with the with three Italians into Jews in the same band same day I see it was a five piece band and with Mike Shiva cello 20 Katja tar and a lickin chicken cacciatore at all Tony a guitar I see and I used to go over their house to know for Chicken Cacciatore not a face dead on Sunday you have Sunday dinner it starts at 3:30 mm-hmm and they all manage to sit there over the phone um yeah a deformable key and a rumble damaged re-cancel Yamagami Santo Mussolini Valhalla in the novel venom on Jerry fella panic [Music] when I was a kid yeah and then I was gone you picked it up I'm talking about the food we don't care about my father your father matters Italian women on a moment-to-moment because your classic dialect that most of your television viewers know you for and love you for is the famous German professor with the black hat and the frock coat and all that stuff we happen to have a little clip of that and if I may we're going to run it now it's Carl Reiner interviewing and the inquiring reporter and to me no matter what you ever said in response to his questions was I was always on the floor I never left I just got down on the floor ok ferry roll the the German professor one time I had the most wonderful time my whole my whole life I never but the time I I spoke with this mermaid it's wonderful mermaids offensive yes she was gorgeous by China and she was intelligent hey you actually you imagine you actually saw a mermaid well I said it for Mary well we all know professors normal legendary and mythical we all know that the sailors had conjured up this myth right George I for a moment and that's it well III don't like a dispute you but you're gonna step out [Music] you understand I think that mermaids are probably just legendary I never know what I'm gonna do with you I'm gonna show you up you want to see a picture you might have see a picture I'll show you a picture all right don't leave I'll show you a picture right away and you'd be embarrassed for you why will you be embarrassed about it boy will you be embarrassed anyways maybe you left in your other suit protesters why don't we get kid well you're going to be embarrassed tiny buddy I'll show you a picture somebody's gonna be embarrassed yeah yeah right here damn how's that so that's a picture of you professor but where's the mermaid the mermaid stop the picture [Music] now there's home like one of those cops professor this there's a question I'd like to ask you now geologists claim and I read this in a book lately they theologist claim that it nor the act from era no life both substrate on and substrate on ax from the plankton to the vertebra there is a marked comparison between the mobility and hill structure of all self-propelled crustacean now is this basically true professor [Music] two different shoes [Music] [Applause] accidentally it's obviously a foolhardy exercise to try to cover the entire lives and careers before of America's funniest men in 60 minutes for those of you want to know more about since easier who doesn't he's written a fascinating book called where have I been it sounds like a funny title funny picture but it's quite a remarkable book about the good news and the bad news of being a comedian so to speak fascinating book now our next guest it does not use accents or physical comedy he works in an entirely different way to social political commentary political humor his props consist of a newspaper and this wardrobe consists of a sweater also some pants and shoes so shouldn't may have taught along welcome to our comedy room a fellow has been called the thinking man's comedian Mort Sahl [Applause] [Music] wait to see the partners every 30 years yeah Mort you and Shecky started out in Chicago in the early 1950s became big you were just at the famous before you remember the your first appearance with us on the old Tonight Show yeah very well there were no laughs and through the entire monologue really the audience started to laugh at the end no kidding they didn't laugh at the beginning they were they hadn't heard a strange face with strange ideas in a strange denial a new kind of comedy yeah and I was working in a club called the Blue Angel with Jonathan winters mm-hmm and we know you put on anybody anybody it was funny and and we came over there and there were almost a lot of newer guys like ourselves in comedy and a lot of jazz guys on the show though yeah and but the jokes that nobody was laughing at we're jokes like can you remember the material now oh yeah I stopped using the material Reagan now no but one of the jokes was it was during the Eisenhower administration and the Cold War was on one of the jokes was uh every time the Russians throw an American in jail Nixon throws an American in jail to show them they can't get away with it there's no one right the great they took away dr. Oppenheimer's Q clearance to work on on the h-bomb right and the FBI arrives at the university california ms lab and they sit home dr. Oppenheimer turning your brain you thrilled it was like that it was highly politicized for its time and and and nobody was laughing it's interesting we can see now we can see now that those are not just okay jokes their superior jokes but I think the reason I'd forgot them I'll take your word for it that you didn't get many last the reason often is that whether it's a musician the tap dancer a painter a sculptor a comedian if you're doing something radically new the people just take a while to understand what you're doing before they can say that's good painting or good comedy or whatever well how true it is you know a Mort and I were in the Chicago accent that was when I was working to shape free with Ann Sothern was my first really big engagement and Mort was working a place called the black orchid mm-hm and the guy that owned the club al Greenfield uh one of the fire him because he wouldn't put on a suit because Mort wouldn't work wouldn't wear a suit now at that time he was you know as soon as you worked in a nightclub you know where tuxedo that was it that's what they thought they don't know about the material or anything these guys now you gotta get a suit you know made it couldn't come I have to go out the street through the kitchen sure he'd come to the stage couldn't go through the club I think he did fire you though didn't they fired me I didn't finish the engagement and it was my first trip away from the hungry eye and shaky kind of adopted me got and he took me the Chez Paree to get me to be well known on the Jack IgAN show and I walked in and I used to have a disc jockey there in the in the lounge of the of the club with this busty blonde next to him and people would call in questions to this Maven and he Shecky and I walked in this girl was there and she said Jack a listener wants to know what you think of Joseph Stalin and Jack said Stalin you know that is that is where Mike Nichols and Elaine May got the idea for one of their early classics the quote endquote I'm not putting IgAN down personally but that's what Viva the the kind of you know jerky disc jockey and the woman who's not too bright helping him out of one of their early great bits he turned to me eigen and Shecky was there you know holding me up moral support and eigen said to me he said you nonconformist they're not gonna turn our business upside down I said you know who are the others and he said Marlon Brando with his undershirt 54 and he said he said even if you're successful I doubt it you're not gonna have any friends so I said Albert Einstein said that I shall live in that in that solitude which is painful adolescence but delicious in maturity and Jack eigen said yeah well Sophie Tucker said life a trip you know we need to appeal to a higher authority right Wow well Sophie Tucker said that's good yes said I was the first night I ever worked I was never in a night club in my life the first one I was in was the Copacabana which I worked and I knew nothing about nightclubs and Jack I gonna just observe some subtle would have you drunk yet knows nervous no we got the radio radio we're really and I sat down and Charles Laughton was coming in mmm and it's a Jackson hey yeah Charlie Charlie won't you come over here really Charlie what's probably hear Jonathan and Charles law to set down as I sat right next was it why don't you call me Chucky Rick we have little bits of tape and film from Thailand Thai food we told the guys they didn't have to perform they can if they want to but they can just relax - but Chucky we look through our old tape files and found something that to the best of my recollection I wrote about 1961 and you and I did it at the time there was a guy remember more than a guy named Steve Nagy who used to describe what was happening in bowling matches and he was always whispering yeah he was on black he didn't want to disturb the borders he sourcing this is Steve Nagy he now has his index finger in the wrong hole and consequently much the balls oh he's going to hurt himself jerk that was whispering so anyway I did a kind of a Steve Nagy voice on it because the people had big golf tournaments they do the same thing it's a million dollars riding on one putt and it's a guy talking is night talking like this right behind you so that what do we have the like I said okay anyway this this is Chuckie playing the golfer and I'm doing the the voice announcer who's talking a little too loud on the green at a crucial moment let's see how it turns out we're at the wire please we're at the 18th green desert large Country Club excitement's at its peak here in this $100,000 tournament I'm speaking as quietly can man you see having just approached the green right now is the professional golf's leading money winner Arnold duffer ladies and gentlemen it's about to attempt a putt short putt means $50,000 and first prize money for Arnold his opponents bald as you can see it's only a few inches from the cup should I don't miss his putt Arnold's opponent will win for sure but as everyone knows Arnold offers always calm never gets rattled Arnold is now looking over the putt putt looks quite easy but when Arnold doesn't know is there's a strong wind coming in from east yes Arnold has the putter now in his left hand he's about to bring his right to hand back in the shaft his favorite grip but for a shot like this most pros put the hands a little lower on the club that's it [Music] and some even recommend adding cross-handed with left hand below the right hand tapping the ball to the short backhand stroke and this is Steve Nikki just in from the bowling alley telling Newland Arnold now has his feet on close together just speaking to some of the pros locker room they feel a wider stance is better if you were to close together in the opinion of some of the bystanders it's a clear and simile to recommend a little bit wider a little bit farther apart some people feel at a cross-legged position with the back to the cup I'll get a certain kind of control blocks the winner from that particular direction and enables the man to concentrate hitting the ball under his armpit right into the company short distance I was ready to putt now remember if he misses this putt ladies and gentlemen his opponent will win the tournament for certainly be very quiet please that's it Arnold he's all set now put it nice and hard Arnold three goals here comes his lucky opponent looks now as if he is sure to win the 150,000 dollars [Applause] you mean a Tom Ellis party once yeah I hardly remember that do you no not at all yeah I can hardly remember I mean I see us and maybe some little glimmer but basically I don't recall it weird yeah Mort and jump back to you Woody Allen certainly a high authority on the subject of funding this he has said of you that you restructured the Joe as we know it do you know exactly what he meant by that hey yeah yeah I guess I don't know he used it he took a lot of nutrition from I mean spiritually from the idea that you could go your own way and you could still work just to come and watch the show yeah he very generously says in a book by Erich Lacs biography that I changed his life recently I was in New York working and he came in to see the show and he was very depressed really he had a lot of anxieties in this endless therapy and he felt that the audience was fickle and that a lot of his audience had evaporated as it became a more serious filmmaker they'd run off with Dudley Moore hmm and I said is there anything I can do you know it's a shame that the success is so hollow and he said could you change my life but ah you know so of course I don't have that power no one does another reason for his early announced public appreciation of you has occurred to me I remember when you first showed up first of all I loved you and I love your humor that's why every time you were in town I was honored to have you on the show needless to say but it also struck me that you were in the context of what their Shecky was saying earlier comedians had traditionally been like Bob Hope Milton Berle blue Holt guys with tuxedos and kind of an authority vaudeville man oh good evening ladies and gentlemen wonderful to be here and I just want to say that old-fashioned comedy approached you were in that context quote unprofessional you were also brilliant but you know what I mean by that you didn't feel that quite so you didn't seem like a performer you were a great performer but because it was new it seemed unprofessional and that's the thing that first struck me when woody was new in the business and he tells this about himself the first few appearances he made he got no laughs because he too seemed like no performer at all then finally they realized what a brilliant performer he was Wellman what do you used to write for you yes what do you and what do you well I think I worked the most with Larry Gelbart and I never saw a Shia guy because whenever I know I never knew him before one lobby throw them in a lot of yell bot and we said mr. Lowe Hawaii and he was very very shy until I said I said don't you worry about girls and good things and talk about that you know you shouldn't yeah but I don't I don't talk about girls I don't dodge it well make yourself you know that you're great lover play against it yeah and that was it more you've done material on I think six or seven American presidents is there any one of them that was your easiest target yeah I suppose Nixon you can't lay a glove on Reagan uh it's very difficult and he has his own human that kind of he has a kind of it's sort of commercial humor it's sort of holiday in kind of country-club you master dinner yeah yeah his humor I'll give you an example of his humor instead of being so clinical I was at the White House she I write for a Reagan - I'm sorry he was he he said to me asked me when I got the invitation in the White House and I said three weeks before I got there and he said to me do you think a letter should take three weeks across America he said what do you think of the post office so I said are you gonna fire everybody in the postal service and he certainly yeah no I'm gonna keep the bond but I'm gonna mail them their checks you also were unlike many of the rest of us who have worked in traditional nightclubs or radio and TV and so forth for the most part you've also worked a lot in colleges have college audience has changed over the last 20 years or so I don't know I don't go that much anymore but there I suppose until they start drafting them and sending them to El Salvador they're all gonna be content to be doctors lawyers and what pharmacists I don't know where the joke is they're back that that's um I don't I think it's late and virtue may be only as good as they have to be yeah and there's nowhere for them I don't know I just think the audience now is sharper than the comedians hmm I think the humor is in folklore would be the audience is very sure the audience always has something to say the funny year the funny joke is going around about Theodora I never heard from The Canadian yeah that's a whole new subject who is it that creates who writes makes up the funny stories that we hear all day I don't mean the one-liners of the crazy lines we do in sketches but the one about you know three Armenians got off a streetcar in the same Heydrich's yeah nobody nobody's ever known who creates them I've asked every comedy writer in the business have you personally ever written the one about a rabbi a priest and a jewel went to have one in st. Peter's said they all said no never never anything like it and yet we hear hundreds of them every year weird hear them every week keep on coming sure here the Pia Zadora joke which one was that job and she wanted to be a real actress her old man who's got a few Bob you know he bucks he said what would you like to do so I want to do a straight play and he said well she's well I've read this book it's called The Diary of Anne Frank yeah so he's not we're gonna theater so you bought the theater trillions you bought it you know got the best director the way they went they went down there and she went on for the other night she was terrible really apparently supposedly historic yeah in the story to joke of course you know Ginsberg Ginsberg and Ginsberg and she went on and over the first half and then the part where the stormtroopers come in the audience somebody in the back shouted out she's in the Attic more we mentioned earlier that in contrast to Chevy in contrast to Shecky and since either or French have our drummers you don't do dialects you don't do impressions but we have tangible evidence which is the best time I spoke that you once did an impression of a performer and we found this out in consulting our computerized records the other day and the guys Terry has racked up in the booth a thing from one of our old shows the old Sunday night comedy series of you working in a sense as an impressionist and it's interesting as you guys know sometimes you go for voices rich little does very precise voices frank gorshin but in in mort's case he went for the way the the target of his physical satire dressed things about his tie as wardrobe and so forth anyway if we have that film let's show more than is one instance as an impression [Applause] [Music] hey thank you here we go good evening [Music] good evening and welcome to another show for Plymouth but first I'd like to recommend this book to you can't be a better person while watching this show I just read this on the way here for my dressing room every American should read this book it's called is your fallout shelter termite-proof now I think we should get the show started here with a little music by one of my favorite composers me some music here I'd like to play a number from my 958 record album which is a full Steve Allen's 958 record album feeling basically although I may never saw million records I may make a million record oh I think here's the song just as I reported it [Music] and while I'm listening to my music here and a little music but I have my me there we are watching this message from the studio we waited until you vanished yes you'd subsidize your own overthrow it was actually very very apt you you don't realize what mannerisms you have until somebody does you and that sin we have another guest we're bringing out now to add to our group we had the pleasure of working with Bill Maher on the other six shows called music room which we've done for the Disney Channel folks and he's doing very well in the business he's in the the new young comedian category he is new he's young and he's certainly a comedian very funny man on The Tonight Show he was recently singled out on the anniversary show as one of the three brightest and new comics in the business welcome once again our friend Bill Maher [Applause] thank you very much what a night or cable maybe what a day now are you never know anymore how ia pretty good we I should tell you I can tell you a little about myself I'm as renowned as these colleagues here I am not originally from California I'm from Earth and they're not here to apply my trade I like it out here it's a little trendy don't you think women always here tell me you never try anything new I always get that you never do anything new here which is true I don't I like meatloaf I don't have to try I'd sushi they dragged you ever have that raw fish good if you like bait I said to the waiter I said this isn't the food we eat is it I said this is food to get other food yet here in America we don't eat the first slimy thing that crawls up on our Blake where's cooking well actually my mother's cooking was pretty bad Jewish cooking my mother's yours can be kind of Monsod you ever bent flat pieces of cardboard and of course the Jewish hands everything tradition I'd say ma why do eat like that she said tradition this is the way we ate when the Egyptians were chasing it he said it's been 5,000 years let the bread rise see the feral are Italian cockroaches in our kitchen we're going no I'm gonna grab something on the way home he adopted a refugee family they went no I'm good something last year I'd hate to feel bloated I get my mother and father they my mother is Jewish my father is Catholic I come from what they call a mixed marriage that's the truth I was a raised Catholic formerly with the Jewish mind true for example we used to will go into confession and I would bring a lawyer in with me last night Father for I have sinned I think you know mr. Cohen I can't my parents say now they are actually ethic there they're immigrants to this country and it has always been my one wish to make enough money to someday send them back behind the iron curtain call me sentimental if you will no they live in New Jersey now they they came over to New York and then like a lot of parents and my parents generation did they move to the suburbs for us the kids they tell you to make your life easier and then during my life do nothing but give me grief for having an easy life I said that I would have gone to Vietnam but I had little league said mentality you know and we heard they got through the depression god bless them for that but did we have to always eat everything we could waste no food my father would walk in the kitchen he go oh you know the black banana is the best one we go okay you eat it this is cross little mushrooms as always the depression you know whenever we'd complain T's or the other depression and I was a kid I'd know what he was talking about is five years old ego you know in the thirties no country was in a depression I think wow the whole country staying in bed watching TV all day look at other countries coming by to cheer us up I don't know shaming us out of it what are you depressed about you're an attractive country you're well-liked around the world I love that joke people can differ government of course doesn't use that term now they use depression that's out they use recession because it sounds better it sounds like reset people learn how to work they're just playing kickball I kid former President Reagan I think if he were alive today you'd be doing a heck of a job well he's alive that I don't trust George Bush on that score though it's got to be tempting to be a heartbeat away from a man that old I wouldn't be surprised that Bush goes around the White House trying to scare room I voted for John Anderson last time out who I see is now making keys and Woolworths so that's right new ideas will get you ladies but at least this is America what we have the choice isn't that right we decide which clowns run the circus over here I can see you're very excited about it that's what cable TV is you know you have a choice now nice to be on a family entertainment network here you know there's a lot of stations now cable stations that offer nothing but smut all the time and I tell you these stations that do that they don't make us better people they don't increase our knowledge of humanity and they don't come and clearly enough where I live I have to go to a bar and you know how tough it is do you know why men go to bars no I mating takes place in bars it is because of the alcohol because a man has to get a woman close to a state of unconsciousness for what he says even begins to make sense that's why before the invention of alcohol primitive man had to actually Club women over the head that would go into a singles cave what they had and he would literally hit on a woman that's where the phrase to hit on painting would actually figure out why they call it a club to begin with but enough of that sorry spanking the master of segues stew it's very difficult for for men you know because it's a wealthy country just to impress a girl you got to have nice clothes a job helps cars you know the thing the secret man is to go to one of your poorer countries don't Angola you're gonna impress the girl with things like yeah I got shoes [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] uneasy being single or bein married or having kids all right yet no I don't think about naming kids because I never would I never liked my name and there's an old joke about the Chinese I'm sure they all know about they drop silverware to name the kids Ming Jing Wang member apparently still a good joke I always think about giving me Swedish people they have very guttural names then never make them very good you know these Swedish Nordic types which I find out what is it's a cultural thing it's Swedish mother's give the name of the child as their giving birth it's during the hold up your ball sometimes it's an easy burger busca do [Music] first thing in the world to do is to stand up there relax review are you just like Jack Benny who was often nervous but seemed relaxed I am Jack Benny but you are relaxed are you yes I mean that comes that's what the guy comes only thing I'm suited to do sure I'm very nervous around the house did working here good working in front of these three Giants and Joe Baker great English comedian did that to make you a little uneasy I love new faces did somebody once told me speaking of nervous performers in those who are not that Red Skelton certainly one of the powerful comedians of the century is so nervous before every performance for the last 60 years that he sometimes tosses his cookie are you SID are you nervous before you go on yes really yes every time and I remember I used to be very superstitious I used to knock wood then I'd tear down and hit people and I would I really was very much and then when the first time I was on Broadway and we were opening in New Haven and I had this and I have I started off like oh baby you better get ready come down get my study and all of a sudden that cotton came into my boy I try to work that would cut break with continents ah that's nice as long as I have you rolling it occurs to me Terry this might be an interesting place to rack up that next little piece of videotape of SIDS we don't have time to show the whole sketch it's a thing I wrote for you and me to do I'd wanted for some time to do a take-off on the 60 minutes show and we don't have time for the whole thing but more the 60 minutes show always is seemed to me show that is in number one position because the American people are fascinated at seeing close ups of capitalists lying I say this as a capitalist myself I'm the businessman hooray for capital I'm not putting it down yeah but some capitalists are crooks some Catholics are crooks some commoners de Croy every group has its crooks yeah and Mike Wallace has a way of pinning the right to the wall so in this I'm like a Mike Wallace character and Sid is your typical dishonest whatever you know he's got 19 rackets going and this is something in the middle of the sketch where I'm really trying to pin them to the wall and expose them for the cheat and the fraud and the criminal he is let's see what it looked like can you look me straight in the eye and denied these accusations of course check that out rice let's check it out right now that's right right here we check it out is right let's check the pewter they're looking Drew's my eyes right you sir have been involved in syndicate gambling phony bond deal [Music] stock market manipulations look me in the eye Black Veil making loans with with pro rent interest manslaughter getting nervous sir [Music] woman slaughter you were named in a paternity suit by a lake tahoe chorus dancer [Music] you're arrested for racketeering for endangering endangered species for malfeasance in office with malice aforethought culprit sir you will find $27,000 for skipping France from a nursing home and a skimming home at you ran suspected sir of income tax evasion income tax perversion and drug dealing [Music] [Applause] what is your explanation of Paul Baxter does the man have a right to make a decent living this is American hold hands at the free home of the brave oh yes I do I am a Pam a patriotic man sir you are hi Dave my life for this country you did many times yes sir that's what America's all bothering it just a moment it has been said that patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel nicer and a patriotic scale go [Music] [Applause] [Music] four score and seven years ago I was over there and yes I bare my soul to America they can see that I was I was done mr. Webster there is no doubt that you sir are an out-and-out criminal who is stealing billions of dollars from Kinison people right there's 75 million people I tell you again 75 well [Music] I think you put your henna parser that's mine [Music] you know there's only one thing wrong with the show it should be a six-hour show one hour it is notice I said and warmed up now yeah right schecky what you are sorry to intrude on your solitude you are you have a unique reputation even among other comedians much less your many millions of fans because in addition to having stock routines which all of us do and my jokes you repeat you work very loose you're one of the great liveries do you often develop some of your eventually most effective bits out of an ad-lib point of origin I think so yeah I'm not the type of person to consider the typewriter and makeup material mhm and like you mentioned earlier that I work the lounges in Vegas and everything and that gave me the opportunity to be proved preformed loose yeah like right now I'm very tight really you couldn't tell that no I couldn't all right no built the old saying it's a cliche instead of saying I laughed heartily you say I fell down I fell on the floor I literally once fell on the floor laughing at you as you may or may not recall you were in one of the lounges in Vegas this is 20 years ago I get on drowning there DuPont company lied them and that should have been Drive by this time you were one of the lounges and I was sitting in a chair a table and they had sort of Swedish curved metal things and I tipped back laughing at you fell on the floor you rushed off jumped off the floor off the stand with your mic and put your hand on my chest you kept me on the floor for five minutes I was screaming laughing all that time you don't remember them no but I'd like that to happen again just for old times sake we have a piano over there and we sneak your accompanist into the building is there anything you would be so moved to what I would love to [Applause] [Music] first of all I'd like to introduce my my conductor been with me now how many years you've been with about 25 25 years gonna get paid yeah this is her big girl and her Pete is that your real name it's our just the American him you have a Hebrew name I certainly don't tell the people with your Hebrew name my Hebrew name is triumph kaya what does that mean right that means life that means life yeah I got a friend of mine doing time in San Quentin right now he's doing wonder time up there you know that sometimes with an audience you get a sense of an audience and you feel out the audience which I'd like to do I'd like to go out really feel like this or you and you don't know other people are gonna like jokes or routines or one of this and but there's humor all over now Reagan is going through to China and Oh a Reagan yes Greg is coming back from China and strange thing about it is that the Chinese besides we've seen jugglers and acrobats and everything else they have a wonderful sense of humor the Chinese people I walked in a Chinese restaurant the other day place called Alphonse right here in California in Beverly Hills and I guess all your sucky green I see all the time television your stink as well you say that because you're 30 fans okay you never tell sign is joka why you not tell sign it's Joe as I don't know a Chinese and he told me a class and you can tell this to anybody beautiful stores one of the probably one of the greatest stories I've ever heard in my life even better than Pia Zadora with the Anne Frank Stern this is story about a Chinese father and Hong Kong good said to a son don't give mondaya she's ago your mother sees music Rosa yo-yo from this IOT teaching it out and the son says me Oh danke party Chickamauga CB / kapow or the cheese and the father's young mothers did you hear this before what if I you rare I'll tell you six you love that so much let's do something else when I was growing up and we used to go on a Saturday matinee to the movies they always had these movie musicals these well let me let me show you will find out the same I am walking in by an office in Tim Panna now Herbies inside the office and I'm walking by I hear the music I knock on the door come in hi there how you doing oh yeah fine I said I heard some music oh I'm writing a song a new song it was so but I didn't finish it you didn't fit no maybe you could help me on it I'm very good at this stuff maybe I can help you with this let me run over this oh me oh don't get myotomy oh you're no good I like to feel alive song herb Thank You shake maybe you can help me finish it I think I could our tracks tribal tear a star from out the sky and the sky feels blue petals from the rose and the rose weeps to take your heart away from mine and mine [Music] would you take the way I did it right on the corner - I'll tell you devil so that they can fire would you take the oceans roar justice I owe this my heart won't let you do all this is all I've asked don't Jack what this where I didn't finish it we need the ending here yeah let's try suck try that sounds Oh take your side what about pool try pool both don't take your pool no that won't make it either Oh what take a look out the window yeah you see that neon sign with the word love in it yes I do you could see right through the brick building yeah I'm not working with time I work with Clark Kent don't take the law [Music] song [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] like it the thing I love about Newark jerky is it almost doesn't matter what you do you know that was a great bit you didn't brilliantly but by me you know what I mean sit down you can get up and just do anything for an hour and they love it yeah but I would like to trade bill his routine for that routine of your bill you'll write practically all your own material don't you I have a steel trap mine Steve never comes out of someone's trap I steal and I hope that all comedians always talk like I noticed that bill was talking about his mother you know earlier we always talk about the wife or the mother never yeah you know yeah as I did a lot of material on my mother my mother was a Jewish lady was a very poor cook you know and I said to my mother one day smile why do you make the chicken so greasy she's I never make chicken I just make a pot of grease I shape it like chicken what's funny about this is my mother actually came that you know my mother's come to see me work olafemi Chicago mr. Kelly's and she'd say to me chickie Chuckie Chuckie she didn't know my name she says why do you tell people I talked with max I was born in Chicago's because it's funny their way Marty she says I don't like it as my you know the kind of money I make telling people you talk with an accent she's what kind of money and I told it she's listening I want to tell you one said why do you think of this that there isn't much dialect humor anymore I think people are too sensitive they're really are they're getting too sensitive about every my nominee group has a majority now I mean it's you can't there it people are too sensitive they they're losing their sense of humor they don't grow up with it absolutely the other you know the generation is that's right I never heard it around my house there is just as much dialect spoken in this country now but now it's Iranian it's Bahamian yeah you know you don't hear so many Jewish dialects Irish dialect Italian that it's not the same foreign immigrant well I think starting now I couldn't do Haitian you know somebody says you're doing dialect you know I could could you donation miss her let me go oh yes ma'am I got a check on that growing up I really do know I want to know the rats and eating them too many Haitians in our in our neighborhood we had a weird neighborhood you walked in you know the guy like a many stoves grab a ticket you know like we had a good delicatessen in our neighborhood Ashkan eyes and it walking to go yeah but he can take a number you know okay I'm number one it's too late for clothes get out well it turns out that we are closed for business too we have used well I don't see why you should do that don't it why should your God love your this wonderful thing to hear you chocolates the only giant like I do because I heard that when I was no it's been a lovely st. Patrick's Day nice to be with mark believe me when I tell you one more game II would've got a sweater better another sweater hey we thank our marvelous five funny men Joel Baker thank you for joining us Joe's with us does every one of the shows Mort Sahl brilliant as always thank you so much yes take it green thank you very much always a pleasure Jude please there's a drop in the television no ma one of the pregnant comedy [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: TGmovier

Views: 2,047

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Guests: Sid Caesar, Shecky Greene, Mort Sahl, Bill Maher, Joe Baker

Id: 9YvF1kjpIn0

Length: 57min 19sec (3439 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 05 2019