StephanSpeaks Talks Dating Challenges of Successful Men, Women Desiring Great Men, Online Criticism

this week on a roommate podcast i think a lot of women they may or may not realize it but they're when they go on a date with a guy even if you're not quote-unquote in the limelight even if you maybe not even considered high value if in that date she determines oh my gosh this is a guy i could see myself with a lot of women are already imagining the wedding that day now some people might say that's crazy no it happens for real but yes when as you mentioned when you're an influencer when you're someone who already has a public image they're coming into it now because they've already made up in their mind that they want you like that the the date was just to confirm so to speak at that point and so now yes i literally have a video called you will always be the bad guy because for men in general when you don't give that woman what she wanted she is now going to view you as an f boy [Music] yo what's good everybody this zombies christmas started show baby this episode the podcast is brought to you guys by manscape guys you know that manscape is the number one source for all your below the belt grooming needs and a lot of people love manscape chris do you love mascara you got to trim it up down there you got to get it together yeah man i love manscape i recommend the product to so many people so many of you guys have already purchased the manscape product and one of the things that manscape is launching in the new year is their signature cologne for the ladies yes guys scent is the next level of leveling up physically because you have to smell good and guys that new scent chris how would you describe that new scent i mean listen it works every time somebody you know give me a little hug they can they come right here okay okay right here they'd be like you smell good baby i know so guys head over to manscape go ahead and get the perfect package 3.0 and definitely get that new signatures cologne go ahead and use the offer code the roommates at checkout you get 20 off and free shipping the link is in the description below 20 off free shipping use the offer code dub roommates at checkout go ahead and check out manscape and you will thank us later you're welcome you're welcome and christopher jordan below jesus what's going on how are you doing today man i'm good man i love my life i love my life i've enjoyed myself has been living stop the best life a man can live it's been pretty good yeah i'm not i feel like you've unlocked a new level i'm being honest with you yeah is it safe to say you've unlocked a new level of life man it feels good on this level you know it's a you know what nice scenery the food tastes better all those things food tastes better so what we're going to go ahead and do you guys see the thumbnail yes we have to bring back the man who made all this possible and by all this i don't just mean the mining the miami trip which we're all enjoying yes i'm talking about who's made the roommate's brand what it is who gave us our first big break who gave us multiple opportunities to succeed and shine so guys you know who he is please welcome back the one and only stephon speaks what's up y'all what's up yo you see how close if i speak mess it up steph welcome back man thank you for having me back y'all how you feeling man how are you enjoying miami it's cool you know what i'm saying you know i'm from here so the weather is beautiful it's just a chance to relax and just enjoy life so i'm enjoying myself i love you here man i don't know why you live [Music] [Laughter] so stefan what has been new for you for the people who you know maybe don't subscribe to your channel subscribe to this channel what's been new for you what's been going on what are some of the plans you have going on going into the new year new for me um you know just adjusting to this post pandemic or not even post because i'm saying this time where things are different can't tour can't travel like we used to um so just adjusting to that so been doing more videos you know building up to youtube doing stuff on tick tock which i've never thought in a million years not being on tick tock tick tocker but uh you know just adjusting to the times to just keep the content going trying to still help the people got more books to come this year just working man so it is the feminine energy book coming out this year we need it you know i can't say that i i don't know i'm gonna try to make it work but it's in the works you know what i'm going to challenge you by the end of the year the feminine energy will drop this year yes book it yes man but no i i think um the reason why i'm excited about bringing you one is because i feel like there's been a lot of business stuff on that people have seen through the podcast um your wisdom is unmatched everywhere you go whether it's louis show whether it's our show whether it's almost 30. it's always number one episode and so i felt like in regards to obviously advice and things along those lines you're going to do that that's you but there's a side to your personal life you know to me of you just being a person that i feel like a lot of people may not know as much which is why i really enjoyed you being in the vlog and we got a lot to talk about with the vlog and i enjoyed you being on the vlog because i think people just think that all you do is sit at home pray and fast [Laughter] you know and so i was like yo stefan is an actual person as well and he's an individual who likes to enjoy his life obviously he's a man of god but it doesn't mean he can't enjoy his life as well and so i don't go through the comments on youtube chris and one of the things that chris was sharing with me is that you saw a lot of people complaining when we uh like were releasing the vlog and what were some of the things you were hearing chris it was just like you know why besides all the coping stuff yeah but uh but yeah like why are we out you know in the club late you know drinking there's women around you know it was just like you know they were kind of just like surprised and they were shocked that we were i guess indulging in that kind of behavior i've seen one one person said the devil is in the club i'm like yeah so it was just surprising i guess for the people to see that side of us you know even though we've been saying you know we like to go out we like to have a good time you know respectfully respectfully it's kind of crazy yeah and so what what i realized is that there is a level of disconnection when it comes to people who say they're trying to follow god and their ability to have fun which leads a lot of people to do stuff behind closed doors and you're a man who i've known to be a hundred percent transparent his whole entire life and so to me it was like why do people feel as though because you're trying to follow god you're trying to be a man of god that now means you can't have fun that now means you can't go out that now means women can't be around you you know that now means that you can't you know respectfully responsibly drink and so i was wondering if you know maybe any of the people hit you up or if you've ever experienced anything like that in which you know people think that you should find a pastor when you really step on the person so no one no one hit me up um i actually saw a couple of comments they were like steph i don't know like he even wants to be there so so i i wonder if they felt like i was just physically there but i wasn't really engaging yeah but you know what i think the issue is really about like how so in in in this i don't know if we won't call it church community spiritual community whatever believers there's this attack on behaviors that they feel lead to sin all right and will then describe those initial behaviors as sin so one perfect example i love to use is that people say shacking up is a sin so for those who are not shacking up moving in together and living together and i will always argue with people no having sex before marriage is a sin there's nothing in the bible that says living together is a sin but because we assume that it is an automatic that you will have sex if you live together we attack that all right so in essence having a drink is not a sin yeah being a drunk yeah is absent yeah all right but the assumption is if you have one you can't control your liquor and you will become drunk the assumption is if you're in that club and around women you're going to engage in sinful behavior even if there's been times and i'm not trying to use this me being in the club but i promise on everything there's been times i one time i went to the club by myself i was bored and this was in atlanta and i swear the whole night i ended up talking to a woman about god we was in the club talking about god the whole time yeah so now if anyone sees me in the club they're going to swear i'm doing the devil's work within actuality i was spreading the good words for that night okay but again the assumption is if it looks ungodly on the surface then it must be ungodly even when they turn their back on it or you know behind closed doors whatever however you want to phrase it so i think that's part of the problem and people just assume that just going back to the whole living together like people will say to me well it's impossible nobody can live together and not have sex that's not true i know of people who've done it who've actually lived together for it was a short period of time maybe six months but did not have sex in that six months it is possible but again the assumption is anything that even looks like it's going in that direction you know we're we're going to be being sinful but how do we how do we i guess combat that because you know we're we're going to post vlogs we're going to live on life but also i don't want that kind of thinking to deter people away from our you know youtube channel or away from the message well so listen we we have to understand some arguments are fair meaning um like i think i saw one comment about uh none of this glorifies god that's why it's a bad thing and there's truth it's not not we can't say that that the the night of the club is glorifying god but then i would counter and say well have you ever been to a sports game because that doesn't glorify god like i don't know if there's anything in this world that that everyone's engaging in that's a believer that glorifies god we can find something in every situation so we have to understand that some people are looking to judge some people are looking for a way to discredit you and say you're not really a person of god hell even jesus had people telling him and we're not jesus so i'm not complaining no no no no no you know what i'm saying i know me but i'm saying even jesus even some of the greatest men and women of god were questioned in certain moments and that's the other thing people so even using that vlog we literally could be working hard 364 days out the year in 12 hours but if for 12 hours of the year we are in the club that's way too long so let's just say it for four hours after year we are in the club having fun people love to discredit the whole other 99 of your life for that one percent and i've learned you just can't let it bother you and at the same time we don't have to dismiss their concerns i understand if for the people who saw it it might have rubbed them the wrong way yeah i get it but i just you know i'm just going to encourage them to understand listen we we're all human beings um and and even if it wasn't the right thing to do all right you know what then we all make mistakes we all we all struggle in certain areas and also understand we all come from different backgrounds i think that's the other problem too yeah if you're someone who grew up a believer strong in the church never partied never did anything then for you to never deviate from that is a lot easier than the person who and i'll use myself man i grew up well not because i grew up but in my college years it was wild all right we did a lot of partying we were going to the clubs all the time and i'm you know i have caribbean heritage we like dancing we like music you know what i'm saying it doesn't matter how old we enjoy that environment so to now stop that cold turkey that's a more of a struggle you know what i'm saying so be patient with my if i do need to work through some of these things all right cool i'll accept that but be patient because it's not easy you know what i'm saying but again i do think like at the end of the day the crazy thing is the day after that i'm thinking to myself man that's great we can go out have fun you know enjoy ourselves and they didn't get into anything bad yeah yeah i thought that was a win but to some people just simply being there is gonna be a problem no i love that point that stefan brought up about um the first thing that really stood out to me is that people don't know what we're doing inside of there you know and the thing about the vlog was i was very specific about how i cut it i showed you know four things well you know and one of the biggest things like stephan said is that you guys don't know the conversations that we have when we're in there every time that we've ever went out somebody has come up to you or they've come up to us and they've had a conversation about how we changed their life and how grateful they are for our content and we and then you usually you know what i mean walk them through their life story something like that they don't understand like yo there's a lot of different places where you can still glorify god because the idea of oh that place is glorified god like what does that mean to me glorifying god means to make god look to make god shine you know what i mean to make god to appear as beautiful as he is to reflect him if you're going out with your friends having a good time respectfully how are you not glorifying god how are you somewhat now better glorifying god at a at a mini golf place you know what i mean like and so i think with the extra religious people there's this um level of religiosity that's not even based upon scripture or based upon really understanding you know how to walk with god and and yeah no i think and that's the part the reason why i want to bring that up is because i know there's so many guys who when they when they feel that pressure from the outside world they may not be as mature as guys like you and and i and they'll just give up yeah you know what i mean like so when when a guy wants to go out and have fun with his friends and then people are saying now you're not a man of god now you're not that's 99 that for a lot of guys okay well bump the guy stuff if i can't do this if i can't interact if i can't still be a regular person i would rather not even interact with god i wouldn't rather not try to level up spiritually and that's what i didn't want happening because like i said we can take it because we know how we're living we know we pray to god we're okay but i know for a lot of guys when people question them and they challenge them when they're just trying to be a regular person they just give up on spirituality altogether yeah and that's that's part of the biggest problem is that people don't realize all that heavy judgment all it does is deter the people who are either on the fence or still need to cross that bridge and so there's been i remember even when i was younger a woman saying to me she did not want to start praying and believing because she didn't feel like she was ready to give up partying and things that they think that she felt like you have to give up if you're gonna become a believer one of the best things that happened to me when i really developed spiritually was the woman that i was talking to when i say woman she was a spiritual leader she was in the church um she said don't worry about the rules don't worry about what you are aren't doing focus on just relationship with god the rest of stuff will work itself out because what people don't realize is as you get closer to god you will start to gain conviction about certain things it will start to get harder naturally your spirit's going to speak to the way that they didn't speak to you before but again everyone's process is different and and one of the things again i don't want people listening to this to think i'm we're simply trying to justify going to the club because everyone's path is different like i i have a family member who he's never going to be in the club he's never but because of that he's never really built to connect with people who live that life who are on the fence i feel like i'm i'm positioned the way that i can connect with those people and that's one thing i like about being anywhere that maybe people are surprised to see me is because now it makes you more relatable and relatable in a way that now they say damn maybe i can become more of a believer maybe i can connect more god maybe this isn't what i thought it was because again the church has made them feel like you can't do nothing wrong or you're not a quote-unquote real christian or a real muslim a real believer whatever like yo stop with all that yeah let's just focus on their relationship with god yes there's gonna be some mistakes yes they're gonna do some and again everybody does everyone has their moments the difference is not everyone has a vlog everyone is gonna you know show it for the world but while some people like i even saw one comment said not everything needs to be shown and at first i was like they got a point but then i thought about i was like no think about the people who now will see this and they'll connect with them in a positive way that can still lead to again actually god being glorified people just it's weird for some people to grasp that but you know again i i think there's a positive to it you know yeah this this conversation is triggering me because i was in that position where you know you would fall in guy then people like really like just observe your every single move you know if you were talking to this girl automatically assume i'm having sex with it you know if you were you know in the club just all might assume you're doing crazy you know i experienced that in college and you know i really felt like feeds and i you know grew the platform to really you know show that we're you know men men of god we also know how to work hard and have a good time and i was not expecting that reaction so i'm just like here we go again where it feels like i always have to just you know look around and worry about what other people think just because you know i don't want to be the reason why somebody doesn't follow god or like follow the channel and that's why you and anyone listening to this has to get to a point where you own who you are yeah so my thing is this like i was a little worried at first too but then i was like you know what effort because guess what if we are actually going to be in a club at any point in life i want them to know now yeah let it be known now yes let it get it out the way you may see us there again it can happen all right there might be a miami trip 2022. all right so who knows so my thing is focus on the fact that if you actually go through the comments there's a lot of people supporting it there's a lot of people saying hey you guys are being too you know judgmental they're just having fun there's a lot of people who understand the balance of it all yeah so let's not let the the negative ones and again and i don't want to say negative ones to dismiss them because i understand how it may be hard for them to grasp it but at the same time we have to own who we are so to me i'd rather be if someone said well stefan you're you're a hypocrite all right well i'm a hypocrite to you that's fine i'm not gonna like i'm not gonna sit here trying to prove to every last person i know what i do i know who i've helped i know i follow god i know the sacrifices i've made you're not gonna see all that i'm not gonna give you the whole rundown just to prove a point yeah it is what it is you know what i'm saying you keep it moving and you just as long as you know you are still doing your best to follow what god wants you to do that's it but we're not gonna be perfect no i love that and even to chris's point like i think the big thing for me which i wasn't thrown off by is that anybody who's really followed the content versus the the lucky loser just recently joined you know who just liked some of the content is that we have been posting on our stories since we've met each other you know what i mean we've been talking about we've been talking about multiple parties whether it was a houston party from that party when chris met his wife in miami 2017. we've been talking about it we've been showing it this like this is public information yeah and so like you were saying there is a community of people who they don't understand they may be new to it they have this certain perception of what it means to be a man who's trying to pursue god and things along those lines but i love stefan's point you can't argue with them i can't prove to you anything either you know you believe me for who i am or you believe what you want to believe and and this kind of leads me to the next conversation similar but different but i want to go back to that first conversation in which i don't think people understand why guys like you and i make such a big deal of people in the comments and people who send us messages because i think for some people like oh why are you always letting the why are we listening to them but they don't realize like yo we are teachers and we care about every last student yeah i think that's one of our weaknesses you know because i know for you sometimes we talk and you'll get 99 000 amazing comments and that five negative one bothers you because you're a teacher you want everybody to be happy and healthy and to you know to really gain from our content because it's all we're trying to teach is people becoming better that's all it's about men women becoming better and so i think this people don't realize how much we care about every person and how it really bothers us when you know one of the sheep goes astray and tries to blame it on us yeah and i think so there's two parts to that so yes we we care because we're trying to help at the end of the day and so when we see somebody negatively impacted uh whether that was then i mean it wasn't the intent we're never trying to negatively impact but when that happens it is a concern for us but then again we have to we have to learn because it's human nature to give more power to the negative or than the positive i think they said it takes uh what is it one for every one damn africa high goal basically the ratio is like yeah if you say something like 10 positive to one negative something yeah something like that i wish i remember the exact breakdown but anyway the point is the negative has way more power you see with celebrities they can get tons of support get a couple bad comments they react to the bad comments um because this all this stuff is important to us but we have to learn that again some people just don't want to get it some people aren't trying to listen and some people are looking for something to tear you down to attack you with yeah so the minute they you give them any kind of opening they're gonna run with it they really can't be helped and what's hit in my spirit and i'll never like to sound too churchy but you know what i got to say [Laughter] [Music] there was a a scripture in the bible where it was something about the pharisees i can't remember which up uh apostle whatever they went to jesus and they said something about the pharisees and jesus was like don't talk to them those are children of the evil one they're basically there are people who are not meant to walk the better path and so essentially saying there are some people out there don't even engage don't even bother because they are not here to align with what you got going on they're not here to hear you out they're not here to support you they are here to come against you all right and so the quicker you understand that the better you are better off you will be because now so many people whether it be content creators hell would it be people at work at their own job they're battling with someone who is meant to oppose you all right don't get caught up in that that's where the real devil's work is going and so now the problem is we have to make sure if we allow the negative to pull us into that trap we now we were pulled away from those who needed us were pulled away from pouring the positive energy to where it needs to go so we still have a responsibility where we have to say okay yes we love everybody we want to help everybody but the best way to do that is to stay focused on those who are embracing it who are supporting it again not automatically dismiss anyone who comes across as negative we can address it once but after that we don't get into no back and forth and argument nah because we have to make sure we're staying focused and doing what we're supposed to do no i absolutely love that and and that and that part was i think we talked about in december because i feel like at one point chris and i were talking like in december there was like an attack it felt like everybody had something to say i remember one time i went on chris's video to depend on the the patreon comment and they were talking about me the first photo i said it's a video why are you mad at me it but no you're right because what happens is we allow those moments to deter us from all the 999 people who want to grow who want to be help who love the message who love us and that's the part where i told chris recently i know we asked all of our comments because of gary v and all types of things and we want to you know respect gary's last wishes to us but uh but one of the things i was like yo chris moving forward with the negativity the extreme unhealthy stuff we're not gonna address it we're only gonna celebrate the good you know what i mean because like you said they don't even wanna listen i had a video about it going back to i am legend point they even wanted they don't want to be saved you know i mean they want to be helped they just want to find something wrong with you and i think sometimes what happens i want guys to realize that because a lot of guys who have not leveled up or who are in the process of leveling up right what they're going to realize is no one's mad at you now because you're nobody no offense you're you're not no you're not you're you're nobody the more you get successful the more you get money the more you get attention then all of a sudden the the the haters the detractors they're gonna come yeah and they're gonna come at you and and whether you're gandhi whether you're martin luther king you know i mean whether you're jesus christ they're to want to destroy you and you're going to ask yourself what am i doing wrong because as a natural good person when you have all this not all but like when you have people saying some really nasty thing like that one dude said he wanted to kill us from that he said we deserve to be like stumped on the curb yeah oh my god yeah yeah crazy you know and so we were like cause then you you think did i do something did i offend him but then but then like you said you realize that's literally unfortunately their purpose in life their purpose in life is to tear you down it's a look for people who are on up and coming who are doing good things who are positive and they want to tear you down because they're so miserable themselves exactly and when they see somebody else smiling and laughing having a good time people love them they're like why why is that not happening to me and instead of learning from it they wanted to destroy it yeah yeah and you know the best thing to do is hit them back with positivity man like i've i've had situations where people attack me and i'll just you know respond with something positive all right thank you appreciate it but their tone changes yeah you know what i'm saying so it's like you just don't want to feed into it yeah because the minute you feed into it it's just going to get out of control and again some people are trolls looking to pick a fight looking to rile you up you know what i'm saying you can't get caught up in that yeah i think my issue is i'm trying to have bad habits it's like i want you to you can attack me you can control me but do it in my dm yeah you know i'll be i want to be the only one to have to deal with because if you if it's on the comments on a youtube wall like yeah they're talking to us but they can't influence some men that might be on the fence with us might not you know question anything so if they see something they'll see a comment one wrong comment then they just take that and run with it you know like i said how much rather them come from me secretly and then but i can deal with you later delete the comment like forget that if if because there's a good point to that i i do believe if you leave negative comments on your post it can invite other negative energy or it can create negative energy in someone else that wasn't even looking at it like exactly all right so it is wise to to delete it it's almost like look at your social media as your house in your front yard and someone starts throwing trash in your front yard you're not gonna leave the trash there take the trash and throw it away remove it you know what i'm saying but if you leave the trash other people will think oh i can throw my trash here too and now it starts to pile up so my practice is i typically i should have mentioned that the first time i typically just delete but and it's all about how you're coming about it if you comment on my video or whatever and it's a disagreement i'm cool with that i have no problem with disagreement but disrespect is unacceptable yeah so any kind of attack disrespect whatever i'm just going to delete it i'm not even going to give you the time of day so i think that's the best way and if you notice my posts don't really get a bunch of negative comments because people see it's not the place for that yeah that's what i'm saying so set the tone by just deleting yeah and and like i said i love stefan's point because we have to remember i think um we haven't even really announced publicly that we parted with youtube shout out youtube thank you um black partner um and one of the things that people always say about our page is like bro you guys average 99 likes to dislike ratio which is unheard of it's crazy and stefan averaged like 99.9 you know what i mean so there is this reality where there's a huge you know flock of people who are in love who are grateful who are excited who are growing who are maturing you know who are blossoming from the content and i don't want us to ever lose the focus from those individuals you know what i mean because like i said as this as our brain grows as stefan's brand grows it's only going to magnify yeah it's only going to be more people it's only going to be more outlandish things you know and but we one thing that i'll never forget is every time we go out the the positivity is overwhelming whether we were in la fitness whether we were at bricks wherever we were at people came up to us i think chris has a theory uh that somebody drove to the mall i know for a fact he said with his face when we posted that we was at that mall i'm telling you stefan that man got in his car got in this car came to whatever to whatever uh i think he was at macy's or something yeah he saw me saw him and he looked at me i looked at him outside i think he recognized me and i was like i think he look he's not looking for me this man waited why is me going down the escalator you know saw everybody and he'd come fees he stopped fees and says hi and literally i was like i know for a fact he came just just to say hi i know for a fact he had just got there he just walked in there he really came to say hi that's crazy though yeah like you said that like people have been you know coming up to us you know nothing but positivity so you know i couldn't even imagine getting negativity in person i'll be wild but um that's it's encouraging like i need this encouraging message because um like i do read most of the comments and most of the time is a lot of positive stuff and it's just like i said i care about people i want to make sure that you know the work that we're doing is producing high care to high value people just period you know so whatever i have to do you know whatever we have to do to really make sure that works and make sure that that message gets across you know i'm willing to do and make that sacrifice but like you said at the same time there is a balance we can't show you know just these in life that we're not living we wanna we always been vulnerable we always have been sharing and like yeah we it's part of our life we go out you either like it or you don't you know and i have to understand that accept that mindset and and like you said as you continue to get bigger you know some negative voices they're going to continue to appear and you know i just gotta adjust to them and let me just say you know the way i look at it is you can either expose your life or they're gonna expose it for you so this is so much this is actually a good thing because so i know people would be shocked to see me in a club because my whole setup online doesn't present anything outside of the business encouraging supporting all that kind of stuff and on one end we can say oh that's good because it stays on message but then it's bad because it creates a false image and we don't want to create false images we want to be honest again i'm okay if my true image is still falling short of what people want to see i'm okay with that because at least it's my true image i'm saying and i want people to know this is where i'm at there's nothing wrong with saying i still have room to grow i still have room to improve i can accept that but i don't want you to think i'm something that i'm not and so again this vlog things like that the great part about it is now they're gonna get to know and so now if someone else does see the next one or it won't be the same reaction because now they know what i'm saying so better for that to happen than for someone to be like oh look at these hypocrites in the club and then expose you for on their own time [Music] and now you got to explain the situation spiritual words exposed let's just get it out of the way boom this is what it is yeah cool i feel that man that that true you know self and really portraying that i love that because i that's one of the biggest fears just like you know people thinking i'm something living this life and it's like a whole different facade and false narrative but yeah telling like the people that hey this is us in the in the front hand makes exactly i knew the world was an evil place at what point what girl broke your heart many girls i knew it was evil place when i went on youtube i typed in hakuna matata i saw someone dislike that video [Laughter] i knew the world was evil and at that point there was nothing that could prove to be exact you know hey listen that's a great example a happy song and they still felt the need to go on there and dislike the video like why why people some people just feel like they have to object to stuff like that doesn't matter if they've done it does nothing wrong to anyone perfect example but and so moving moving in lieu of could i i guess i want guys to hear this message so they understand the challenges set ahead of them as they continue to improve and to level up but there's another challenge that um we've talked about in private and you said you know what let's talk a little bit about in public and to me it's like dating as an influencer but also dating as a high character man influencer [Laughter] and we've had many conversations about that because there's so many layers to that there's so many challenges and issues and i think a lot of people don't know it a lot of people don't talk about it a lot of people don't you know really have this conversation and i feel like you would be the perfect person to have this conversation because i feel as though that that what you and chris go through is probably one of the biggest dating challenges for any man especially in 2021. yeah i mean like i don't even know where to begin it it definitely is not easy you know so for the men who are building themselves up i'm gonna break it down like this so if you're if you were just trying to be high value in the sense of being highly desirable man having certain qualities and you're going to run a muck and just have no moral compass it could be easy all right but clearly that's not the goal here yeah the goal is high value and high character yes once we include character what once we include god in your life cause i said yes we may not be perfect but there's still a level of conviction there the game is let me say the game but the whole situation is a lot more difficult all right and i think a lot of people don't understand that because now there's just so much to consider one thing i have to bring up all right because i was literally just speaking to someone don't want to say his name keep it private but we were talking about how so many women are saying they want high value high character they want all this stuff they want this man to have all these wonderful things make money whatever whatever but they're not really considering what they're gonna have to do once they get him all right what they're gonna have to do to now keep and maintain that relationship so they're considering all the benefits of having this guy but not the continuous work you see i'm saying because the mentality is well i deserve this i deserve this i deserve this yes but are you prepared to keep working to keep it and then there's this mentality that well you know some people say you can't keep a man unless he he doesn't want to be kept granted he has to want to be there but you're not just absolved of any responsibility on his willingness to stay with you there is work that has to be put on your end and i think a lot of women don't realize if you want that it's like if you want that high paying job there's going to be more that's entailed in your job description there's going to be more effort that has to be given it doesn't necessarily get easier because now you're getting paid more now you have more benefits so there's going to be more work being put in do you really want that or are you more comfortable at the current position where they might be less required of you okay be honest with yourself but all that to go back to the point of it then makes the dating at that level harder because everyone wants you everyone's not willing to put in the work to keep you lord man i'm telling you it's it's it's it's crazy man like honestly i feel like dating changes every six months like i feel like once i understand the old form there's a new form coming and like you said man you have you're in this position where you know like you are an influence and i realize that you know we are in like we're living in one person life you know we can travel we can go we can work from anywhere we can do we make our own schedule making good money you know we look good so like like like we are highly desirable i understand that but like you said when people expect something of you they're not willing to put the work in or they're not willing to understand you know like because i'm such a futuristic person and i realized you know what's still fun i blame you all right i blame you ever since we've been on tour we've been around you you know i see things in women that i have never seen before well she's damaged she needs to heal we don't have that connection i'm just like oh my god so now i'm looking at so many different things like but even before like we even get to a certain point so it's like on top of being highly desirable on top of knowing all the information of where it's like where women where their current state is is extremely difficult to date out here and you know i'm not trying to be discouraged i want to be encouraged to really continue to uh to you know fight and and be in high physics position but uh like it's a whole lot of things man then i'm still trying to learn and understand so one in regards to being encouraged you know listen i look at this way when you are aiming to be your best self you will be rewarded in all areas of your life some certain things take time and we have to understand i think that's one of the important messages for any man listening to this is it's not instant gratification it isn't oh okay i achieved this high value high character man where's my my perfect wife where where's my amazing one okay listen bro it might be another year or two it might take some extra time there might be some other things you need to do there might be some other small blind spots you got to cover before you can really have that relationship in your life or other certain things in your life now also to your point about you know after going on tour and stuff the things you see in women that's the other side of this i think a lot of men don't realize is as so it's almost like i always say when you heal and you become healthier you it's harder for you to deal with a damaged person and it's easier for you to see the damage all right so when you become high quality high value whatever it's easier for you to see someone's lacking the qualities that they need for you to be happy when we're operating at a lower level we're much more willing to accept people i always say a lot of relationships start because people overlook the red flags all right or they they flat out ignore them and make excuses for them as you become high value high character your ability to ignore the red flags is diminished severely oh my god so now okay it it dating beca seems to get harder because now you start to see less qualified people or you start to knock people off a lot faster and quicker because like damn now i'm catching on to this that and the other but when you were at your lower level man you ignored that she had a bad attitude you ignored that this was a toxic environment you made excuses because hell you might have been operating in a toxic environment so many dysfunctional things you ignored or overlooked because there was dysfunction within you and once you kind of break through that that's what makes it now harder because unfortunately the vast majority of the world is operating in dysfunction that's just an unfortunate reality and becoming high value whether it's woman or man is a small percentage of people so understand that if we if we defined it as the top three percent i'm not saying that's what it is but let's just say we define a top three percent that means if you come across a thousand people uh tomorrow let's let's make it less you come across a hundred people only three of those people are going to even be qualified to match your energy and level and then within that three will you really like any one of them yeah because you they can be high quality doesn't mean you're feeling them like that so now you got to wait for the next batch of 100 and you got to keep going so that's why it's going to get harder as you go higher in in your life what you had something yeah no no i was i was going to say i i absolutely love that point because i don't think people understand that when you're not healthy it's confusing and i would always say my dad could not come in this house right now if my dad came in here his head will blow because my dad cannot stand things that are dirty you know what i mean and obviously we're going to clean up but long long week and so my dad as a very clean man cannot stand to be in dirty places he cannot so when you are a healthy individual and you are a healed person you cannot stand not even that oh work with them it's like i can't even be here it's like i can't i can't it's like the most uncomfortable thing in the world and i don't think people understand that difference and so when a lot of people are like oh there's all these girls all these girls i'm like no disrespect to them no disrespect there's not as many women who have really done the healing work the way we have there's not a lot of people who have really done all the things that we have done so so you you guys see him from the outside looking in with their beautiful smiles and their great bodies and their beautiful faces and like chris is saying we can see the hurt we can see the damage we can see the masculinity we can see so many things that other people can't see because we've done so much of the work absolutely and like you said the the ability to now tolerate it is pretty much non-existent you just can't you don't even want to be bothered with it and so now to the outside looking in we're being too picky we're being unreasonable oh judgmental or judgment yeah they're throwing that word to me boy you know and it's like no we we just know what you don't know yet and if you would do your work you would now start to see this very clearly and also let me add this you know once you get to a higher level the the stakes are higher we cannot align ourselves with just any old woman you see i'm saying so there's gonna be more can you repeat that once you reach a higher level we cannot align ourselves with any old woman it can't just be oh she looks good if she talks nice there's gotta be more there does she even support our purpose can she even embrace our purpose because she might have some thing going on in her life and she don't know how to get in alignment with us that's gonna be a deal breaker you know what i'm saying because we can't afford to have someone who's gonna distract us and destroy us you know i'm saying a lot of dudes and i have to mention this because there's a lot of athletes i'll see athletes talk about uh i don't i don't know his name but there was one athlete talking about how you know the woman has to have her own business her own money and i'm like nah bro you're talking that nonsense because and no disrespect by calling it nonsense but i do view it that way is because you've probably been played by women all right and use for your money so now you're you're viewing them having money as security for you to feel like she doesn't want me for that rather than just accepting you chose the wrong women you chose horribly so now you think you're making better choices because you're taking this logical approach not realizing that that woman's still probably not in alignment with you and you're still picking the wrong woman you think because she has money now you safe you're not safe yeah because you still don't know how to how to evaluate her character you still know how to pick up on her spirit you still clearly don't understand the importance of healing because you haven't healed because if you did you wouldn't be using the money as a scapegoat you wouldn't be using it as a defense mechanism so clearly you have your own issues you see what i'm saying and instead of understanding that you're pushing this false narrative of they need to have their own no more importantly they need to be able to align with you and of course as a man you need to find your purpose because having money don't equal purpose you can be successful and still not have purpose so as a man you have to find your purpose and then see who aligns with that but going back to the whole dating thing yeah it's it's a different ball game now you know i'm hoping the dudes listen to this don't get discouraging like if there's high value stuff i'ma stay where i'm at listen everyone needs to aim for higher but i do want them to understand yeah it doesn't necessarily get easier again if you're trying to do this the healthy way you need some water i love what you said the fact that um that i feel like women don't understand that men that have high status high care to high value you know they care about their image so you cannot just date anybody because once you leave me you are an extension of me like you are going to be known as stephon speed's gap you doing certain things everybody step on i've been having conversations and it's like you know with uh some women's past or women like platforms and things and they're not taking into consideration if you talk about you know sex a lot if you talk about negative things or bad relationships all this all the time most men don't want to be associated with that but they say to me you know it's a low level of thinking like you don't want to understand you you are all people you have built a platform you should understand where they're coming from so i'm just thinking i'm like you don't understand like when you talk about those things you associate yourself with those things you know if we date you we also those things and it's like we are we have a higher standard we don't want to be known for that kind of talk or you know that kind of business or whatever but i just love that point so my my question to you is but real quick before you ask that question let me make this comment so you know we we see things a little bit different when it comes to that specifics are we going to do no cap listen so i agree with you to a certain extent that's fine tell me so here's the thing i and number one i agree that in general like you said most men of high value high status they have to consider the woman's image plain and simple okay and most women are gonna get disqualified because they're not taking that seriously enough especially in today's world all right however at least i must be just for me i cannot speak for other men for example let's say i meet a woman and let's say she's a stripper all right but i didn't meet her at the strip club i'll i didn't go to the trip yeah let's just say i met her at the mall whatever right we hit it off everything's amazing there's a connection there i found out you're a stripper now i'm a believer and if i find a connection i'm not letting your past stop me from being with you all right huh what about her presence exactly so the so the the key is this i will not hold your past against you but are you not prepared to walk away from that for us to now move forward in a different direction if you're prepared to do that i can deal with the people saying oh you got with a stripper listen we ain't perfect we were just talking about it earlier we ain't perfect we're human if we look at the bible hell moses was a murderer a lot of these people have passed that were not great okay i am okay with not holding your past against you but you cannot continue in this image that now works against me if we're going to be together so that's where i differentiate is as long as you're willing to now make a change so even if you're a woman who let's say post very provocatively on ig i'm not going to hold it against you whatever you posted before whatever today's date is fine however if we're going to be together yeah we got to take some of those posts down and things like that now if you're not okay with that because you feel like i should just respect all right then that's when we can't work you know what i'm saying we need we have to have a compromise somewhere you know what i'm saying and of course i wouldn't want you to continue to post like that but if you're willing to make that adjustment okay cool so that's my my position but go ahead with your question brad i know i i think it's a good i think it's a good point um i i heard you said you know it's a hundred people three percent of girls we will have they all need to meet the standard yeah you know so my question to you is how can we make that three to like six what do we have to do like what what are some ways that you know we can be introduced to more high quality women where do we find them who are introducing them to what do we have to do as men that's why i'm asking well i think we're doing it i think having these honest conversations about what high value or high character or highly desirable men whatever label we want to throw on it what the good quality guy wants in a woman i think a lot of women have been lied to led astray or have been conditioned to believing a false narrative as far as what men want so by having these conversations many of them are now learning now can we make everyone embrace it no but like you said we're just trying to go from three to six so just getting three more percent to say all right i can do this then we're gonna win so i think that's that's all it really boils down to but also i think and the roommates y'all two are doing this is creating more high-value men i think that by nate even though i do believe that women men follow the lead of women in the sense that if women set the standard tomorrow of we this is an example we won't deal date a drug dealer you have to have a certain kind of job right you would start to see men fall off from being drug dealers if they really felt like they could not get any woman with this they would stop doing that so i do feel like men respond to women in that way however i do think that as more men grow and step into their true potential it will have a positive impact maybe not directly as far as getting the woman you know that he engages with to step up but hell maybe it's your own daughter if you have a kid and not being a high value man you're gonna be a man in the household that raise a healthier happier daughter and that so that might not be beneficial to us right now but at least beneficial to the next generation of men coming up there's going to be some kind of impact somewhere so i think having the conversations will help the women you know i'm saying and again some of them are going to embrace it some of them aren't and for the men helping them continue to grow and that will also have an impact and what are those qualities you're talking about like as far as you say like high value high character men what they want in a woman what are those qualities even though they might not exist i want to take that question because i want to go a different direction but let's stay there because it's cool i want to flip that because i i wanted to talk about but i wasn't sure if we had space to talk about this but it kind of seemed convenient right now because there's a conversation about you know the whole big thing you know due to you know the infamous kevin samuels this is all distinct talk about high value which you know we've been talking about for you you've been talking about for years but now it's getting popular and so i think there is a clear understanding of you know like the three major things that make a man high value right and and the key word to value is valuable to the opposite gender you know what i mean like i always say a high value man is loved by women and respected by men he's valuable everybody wants him you know and i would i would simply say those three things would be masculinity some form of financial finances you know to me and more than likely a form of status because of his career whether he's a doctor lawyer you know author you know entrepreneur those are usually the three things generally speaking that as a guy you know if you're a masculine aka confident all that stuff you have a certain amount of money of a high status career you're going to be living good so if you were to say sorry but then what i've seen that women have done is now when they're creating that high value woman conversation they simply take the man standard and just add wo to it you know and so but there's a difference between the men the women that men really desire the women that men are like yo this girl is extremely valuable everybody wants that woman so if you were to give those three attributes that you're like yo on a uh because end of the day value doesn't mean character right so let's let's separate those two but on a sheer societal value to to men what would be those three traits that you feel like women have that make them high value women all right i'm gonna answer that and before i say that you know what popped in my head that i found interesting because when you said the high value man is uh what the say it again he's loved by women and respected by yes loved by women respected by men and so he has those certain qualities that and so i was thinking about how when you said women have taken those and put the wr in front of it and what's interesting is that i can see women trying to make the argument that you know younger women look up to women who are successful and have careers but when you really think about it if we're honest with ourselves younger women look up to the women who have family and husband you know what i'm saying that's what they're really fantasizing about so to lead into your question i'm not sure how to define that specific quality but i really feel like the the the trait that women uh respect or really look up to and that men value is i guess that motherlyness a woman who is able to attract or have a family in her life and be this great mother women honor that you know what i'm saying um but overall femininity i believe is just it is what it is because when a woman sees a another feminine woman she sees a happy woman you know what i'm saying so who doesn't want to be happy who doesn't who doesn't appreciate that unless they're miserable themselves you know what i'm saying and of course we all know men are drawn to feminine energy so it's one of those qualities that again like you said loved by one and respected by the other so i would i guess i would say femininity is the other one and then physical attraction to be honest with you let's be real women again we already know the men [Laughter] love them a physically attractive woman and women whether they want to acknowledge or not they that's what they're looking up to as well that's what they're dreaming they could look like that's what they're trying to mimic granted some people take it to an unhealthy place but that is what's going on so i would say physical attraction feminine energy and again that first one i don't know what proper word to use but i guess motherliness or just the fact that you have a successful relationship yeah it's it's about the whole package together okay all right because so for example um let's be real a woman could be super pretty all right and she have a decent body and she's gonna be able to get away with having a decent body more because she's so pretty so her whole package she's already qualified is going to be tons of men after her another woman may not be that cute but her body is amazing all right and she's going to get access to those men because the balance of it all is good enough to where they accept it so to me i look at it as it's a total package and as a woman it's like how you make the whole thing work because some people aren't gonna be blessed with naturally amazing good looks i wouldn't want him to think well you can never be [Laughter] high value never you're not the cutest no if you take care of the rest of yourself and you enhance everything else enhance whatever i say i don't want me to think surgery okay i mean improve upon all right then you're gonna be good but if you wanna do surgery that's your thing i just wanna throw that out there i'm not judging anyone who does surgery but anyways um yeah so i look at the whole thing so if we're gonna throw a different third one no that's good i think i think that's cool okay yeah if you're gonna if you i just want to make sure you guys okay but i will say this okay not that i think this is a trait anymore that is loved by one and respected by another but i just feel the need to mention it domestic ability more specifically cooking i feel like the art of cooking has been lost you know they used to always say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and so people have lost their weight because they don't want to cook it anymore and they don't really care what they're cooking and listen don't get me wrong i know some people might jump in something i stopped something is seriously wrong i don't see what people might jump in and say well men should cook too listen everyone should know how to survive and make enough food so that they can be okay on their own but i think a lot of women overlook how powerful i've even told women i said listen start posting on your social media cooked meals and watch the reaction you get see if you won't start drawing more attention because that still appeals to us as men a woman who knows how to and enjoys cooking it's automatically you gain points yes you may not uh lose points because you don't know how to cut depending on the guy because some guys are really strict about that but you you're gonna have a good a good thing in your arsenal yeah if you know how to cook so i would just say that's something that more people more women should embrace no you 100 i'm gonna make a video it's gonna be called women we're trying to help you out because like if they if you do something that is opposite of what everybody else does it's more attractive in a good way that's what i mean so it's like if if women say oh i'm not gonna cook for no man okay well they not gonna get the man that they want that's the dude it's the man that they want so if you show yourself cooking it will make you more attractive towards guys yes they don't understand it's a competition do not women don't understand that it's a competition out here if you want the top of the top level guy all the women want them but no one wants to hear that they have to compete they don't like that word i'm not saying you're wrong i'm just saying they like i don't like that word they don't like it but it's the truth we will say what you need to hear not what you want to hear and to chris's point about how so many women want these top tier men i also find a struggle of you know high character men such as yourself high value message yourself is that now everyone that you date expects you to marry them oh oh lord [Laughter] hit me right in the heart and and if you don't marry them if you choose [Laughter] if you choose to not be with them now you're the bad guy now you let her on now you're not demanding your videos now you're not the man you present yourself to be now all of a sudden they try to attack you as a man because you don't desire to continue the relationship any further talk this is a real problem um i think a lot of women they may or may not realize it but they're when they go on a date with a guy even if you're not quote unquote in the limelight even if you maybe not even considered high value if in that date she determines oh my gosh this is a guy i could see myself with a lot of women already imagining the wedding that day now some people say that's crazy no it happens for real but yes when as you mentioned when you're an influencer when you're someone who already has a public image they're coming into it now because they've already made up in their mind that they want you like that the date was just to confirm so to speak at that point and so now yes i literally have a video called you will always be the bad guy because for men in general when you don't give that woman what she wanted she is now going to view you as an f-boy she is now going to view you in a negative light even in scenarios where we discussed what this is and we agreed upon whatever structure if if it doesn't align with what she really wanted there will still be backlash you know what i'm saying i don't ever want to say every woman does this but it happens a lot i would argue the majority you know what i'm saying and and for any woman who says nah nah nah well have you met that guy you even view in that high of a regard because that's where it gets tricky it's one thing if you're just thinking he's okay i kind of like him you won't this won't happen but when you view him like oh my gosh he's damn near a unicorn or a unicorn i cannot pass this up now some women will try to convince themselves well let me just try to be his friend no but you really want a relationship and now when he doesn't give you the relationship you make him the bad guy but the other reason why you become the bad guy and i've explained this in the video is because in order for her to detach herself emotionally she has to create a negative image of you if she continues to hold on to a positive image of you she one has to look at herself in the mirror and that's not easy to do and she now has a harder time letting go or accepting that this doesn't work i also want to throw in there that i always make the argument that women no connection better than men they know when a connection's there or not they understand that spiritual level better but when they meet a guy they really want they completely forget about connection it doesn't even exist anymore in this dynamic because they're locked into what they desire and this is where things get tricky and so yeah as you said the problem then becomes i can meet i can go on 10 dates in the next two weeks they could all be great women but that doesn't mean you're the woman for me or i'm the man for you but now i'm in a position where i'll have to let down 10 women who will now start to look at me as oh he ain't what he said he was or whatever whatever no i i was honest the whole time but it doesn't matter because now they're in disappointment you know what i'm saying and so again it just goes back to where as a man you have to be very mindful and this is why you have to you you can't even take dates unless you really feel like this has the at least the potential to go somewhere you see what i'm saying if you don't if you know for a fact there is no potential whatsoever you just want to have a good time be very careful because you're setting it up for disappointment you know what i'm saying at least if there's potential we can't guarantee it's gonna work out and someone's gonna be upset no matter what but it's it's tough bro it's tough nah he struck a nerve i'm telling you man i i i he he hit every nail on the head and i've been i remember telling you know some of my guy friends when they have woman trouble and they feel bad because it didn't work out i'm like fam she gonna have to hate you for her to get over you like you have to accept it and you know depending on the woman character she may send you some stuff that you may not like reading she may you know do some things on social media that she shouldn't do and let me just jump in she may even create a false narrative all right and you know i don't want women to think we attacking them right now but this is just reality we've lived this we've seen this every story you're hearing about what this man did was not the accurate story it was the story she created to make her the victim and to make him the big bad guy who hurt her so she can come out looking clean gaining sympathy all right and now you don't tarnish this man's reputation and image to make things easier for you emotionally this happens a lot more than people think and i don't want people to think that we're saying this in a way that you know there are some situations that yes the man was an [ __ ] excuse my language he did do wrong and it was valid what she's saying but there are tons tons of examples of where women misconstrue or twist things to make him seem like he's the bad guy because again what woman wants to go back to her girl if she done spoke to her female friends about how amazing you were she's about to go on this date oh my god there's this great guy all this other stuff now she got to come home and say he ain't want me hell no hell no that's not gonna be her response she's gonna find some way in most cases there may be some very honest women that will say that but in most cases she's gonna have to now figure out how do i present this to make it no i didn't want him or he did this or it was you know blah blah blah blah to make herself seem you know come out looking clean yeah no no this is a fantastic point and and by god's grace a lot of the girls i did are very high character women so they gave me rave reviews but but you know and so i with them but they share it in a respectful way they will say something like oh we just didn't work out you know which may or may not be the truth but that's what they share but for a lot of people i know that's not the case i know people who sent you messages who sent you messages and like you said they changed the whole story and that's what i always tell women to be careful of when you're hearing men and women that's men and women a lot we've been picking on women it's just men and women i encourage people that some people aren't telling the full story about the entirety of the relationship they're only telling their side to make themselves look good this is my personal opinion are there women who've been abused by men 100 yes are there women who've been cheated on by men 100 are the women who've been an unhealthy relationship with the wrong guy 100 percent but in my personal opinion that's the minority not the majority and so in a majority of relationship settings there are there are two vic two victims and two villains you and i i've done wrong to you you've done right by me i've done right by you you've done wrong to me we we've done good and bad to each other and so whenever i'm talking to somebody and they can never articulate what you did wrong in a situation usually to me as a red flag to you're always viewing the guy as the bad guy and it's only a matter of time before i become the bad guy too when you don't get your way with me mm-hmm and that's the part where i encourage guys i remember i did a video on and derek jackson responded to it but i was trying to encourage guys accountability is important when you talk to a woman and you ask her okay how was last relation how things go up with this guy if you don't hear any part of the story where it's like you know he was a great guy but we didn't work out he was like if there's nothing positive about no guys always he was a bad guy and you know and uh to to piggyback on that for men because i'm sure there are men who are pumping their fists because they've gone through this the thing is when you're in the midst of this type of situation do not try to battle the woman you can't don't try to sit there arguing back and forth listen one like you said take accountability for what you did do wrong because there there are some things like even in my situations i really okay you know what maybe i wasn't clear enough here maybe i did misunderstand this i will acknowledge that and take responsibility for those things state your case as far as whatever false narrative or things that she may be wrongly accusing you of but don't sit there trying to go back and forth because all you're gonna do now here's the crazy thing even if it was a false narrative a lie being told she will now use this new battle that you went back and forth for her about that you may now say some messed up things to now use that as the justification you're only feeding okay feeding her story with negativity don't give her more negativity just take responsibility for what you do wrong state your case for what was it you know the way she thinks it is or how she wants to present it and that's it yeah you leave it at that you know what i'm saying and you keep keep it moving but there's no way we can control like right now there could be tons of people making fake stories can't control it it is what it is yeah you know what i'm saying no that's big man i think i think yeah like you said you have to be very mindful who you date nowadays yeah i understand that and i realized that because when you when you sit down with us one-on-one it's gonna be hard to resist because the resume is so good your resume's really good so it's like i i understand that like you know that it's a it's i don't like making women feel bad you know and i don't like them telling me like you know if what i did wrong and all those different things so in order to combat that i just have to make sure that i choose wisely of who i do and listen no matter how wisely you choose you may still we we have to kind of just understand like i'm i've come to accept if i go on three dates next week i may end up the bad guy after it's all said and done yeah i can't you know what i'm done stressing that i'm done because now what happens is you end up living in this self-imposed prison yeah because you're always worried about how people are gonna take things the wrong way you just have to make sure you're doing your part you know what i'm saying as a man make sure you're being respectful make sure you're being honest and transparent make sure you you know you're doing what you're supposed to do and that you're not you're not giving any blatant ammunition for them to use if they create their own it is what it is you know what i'm saying i think uh who told me that before what's the devon franklin on the patreon episode yeah he was like chris as you continue to get better level up you know improve yourself we're going to want to desire you and if you don't want them for whatever reason you will be the bad guy you just have to accept that he said i was that too so when he told me that on the patreon episode which is a good episode great episode um yeah i think about that devon franklin yeah even the freaking franklin that's what i'm saying it doesn't matter who you are man it does not matter who you are you are still going to have it happen to you so you kind of just have to learn not to internalize it not to let it get the best of you it's just a part of this process yeah and that's why i think it it kind of puts a whole episode together about identity i think that's what i heard the most about this episode once you know who you are once you know you're a man who's attempting to go on this journey of being a high value man a high character man a man of integrity you know this is who i am i'm gonna make mistakes i'm gonna disappoint some people i'm unfortunately going to let people down but i am still a man of excellence i am still a man of greatness you know i'm still this individual and so whether you're dating whether you're creating content whether you're making money whether you're doing business you have to come to realization that you can't make everybody happy absolutely and even though you don't make people happy even though people are mad at you and they say things about you doesn't mean that it's true so i don't want anybody to feel that way i want men to embrace their identity i want men to know that they're a man of greatness and i don't want anybody to accept that because my greatest fear is that when men accept that they'll give up they'll give up trying to follow god they'll give up trying to be high character person don't give up trying to be high value because they'll realize it's too difficult and my last point i'll let you ask your question and this is what stood out to me i think it was a couple days ago i was so exhausted i was like man i feel like there's so much everyone's mad at me everyone's frustrated me all these pressures and expectations and a voice came in my head and nobody told me heavy is the head who wears the crown heavy is ahead of where's the crown so what that means is that if you're going to be this king this hot this individual there's a level of responsibility that's on your back then most guys it will break them it will destroy them so if you want to be on top if you want to be high value if you want to be a one in a generational man heavy is the head that wears the crown and with that that's why it's so important for men who are in their journey to learn how to handle these things at the current level so at every level there's going to be criticisms judgment things of that nature but like you said as you get higher it intensifies but if you can't handle it at your lower level you're not going to be ready for it when you get to that higher level learn how to deal with it now learn how not to let these things bother you now you know i'm saying learn how not to let people's false perceptions of you throw you off any kind of way because now as you continue to go up that ladder you're gonna be equipped for that next level you know what i'm saying you gotta you gotta basically defeat the current level boss you know what i'm saying and then you'll get ready but it's gonna always get stronger but you're going to get stronger with each battle and so now that's how you you you get ready for what's coming you know what i'm saying you know that's real good i think my last question is um as you as we were talking about dating these women and if it doesn't work out you know we have to make sure we're in tune with ourselves and understand that you know they may say something but all the identities intact you know we good but some guys and i even felt like some of this um you know recently in my life where you get to that point where you just don't care anymore and like when you just like you go not complete savage mode but since like you know you're not considering her feelings you know you're you're just like like you're kind of just like if you're not on my rules then you not you know you're not with me so i want to make sure that you know we tell these guys or even if you want to explain to them where it's a healthy balance of like your identity is good as far as if she say something bad about you but i don't want you to go too far until you go complete savage you don't care you just you know you're going to do what you want to do regardless so let me let me make this point i remember when i was i think i may have been 18 years old or whatever um had a situation where a female friend i had feelings for broke my heart and after that i was like f life f these women i'm gonna do whatever i want that was probably the weakest move i could have made as a man anytime you let a woman or anybody take you away from your true character that's weakness that's not strength all right so we think okay we're empowering ourselves because we're saying effort we don't care no you let them basically remove you from where you belong and operate on a lower level because you're hurt plain and simple so none of this should pull you to a place where you don't care because not caring is not high value high character plain and simple men of high valley high character are still mindful of other people and the impact they're having on other individuals when you become blind to that you are simply one of those damaged people who are running amok and defending it with i'm just looking out for myself no you're just a damaged individual who doesn't want to do the work within yourself plain and simple so we have to always hold ourselves to a standard of again we won't be perfect and even if you have a moment because there might be a moment it happens but you can't stay there yeah you know what i'm saying so if if you got pissed off or hurt one day and that night you went out and said effort i understand i'm not validating or or encouraging it but if you're gonna stay there for the next three weeks no no no that's not acceptable pull yourself back out be a man about this and when i say be a man meaning stand on your strength of your character of who you were before you even got hurt learn from it and operate at a better level not a worse level you know i love it stefan [Laughter] so much wisdom as always you know i i guess i really wanted i like this episode because i think people got to proceed take a um you know a step into your life to see some of the things that you go through some of the things chris goes through some things we all go through and i think that's what the roommates is all about you know the roommates is all about you know helping men become the best version of themselves but we're vulnerable we're gonna be honest about fears shortcomings failures all of those things and i'm just glad that you came up here to have the conversation so ladies you didn't date staphon [Laughter] he cannot guarantee to marry you he'll get to know you there's a connection move forward but a date does not mean you're his wife my name is hafiz christopher star the show paper joined by stephan speaks we are the roommates guys thank you so much and have a great day [Music] you

Channel: The Roommates

Views: 57,628

Keywords: the roommates, the roommates podcast, black podcast, dating podcast, stephan, stephan labossiere, stephan speaks, stephan speaks relationships, dating advice, relationship advice, love advice, wealth, success, success advice, motivational advice, motivational video, success video, dating for women, dating for men

Id: _tR4UT63Fts

Length: 82min 57sec (4977 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 25 2021