Previously on Battlestar Let's split up. I'm your wingman! Your game is weak Behold! The Singularity Engine! We're all freaks now because of that monster you built! It's time for you to shut up What do you mean singularity survivors? You are such an ass HOLE Well perhaps you're right. His name's Duke. I prefer cash. I'm Duke Dirtfarmer I'm here to hang out with you Duke? There's just no way to spin this Sir. Laser moon is firing back and referring to itself in the first person Go Laser Moon! I love Christmas. Yeah you do! What the hell that? I am Laser Moon I walked through a door to a new dimension I'm awesome You're alright My daughter deserves better than someone like you. What about your golden friend back there, he wants a beer. You shall be known as...Han Singular! I'm just a shitty Dirt Farmer. What? I just wanted to know who my real dad is. Obi-wan Kenobi is your father? Man I'm getting kind of hungry we should think about getting lunch I'm down. Hey, have you ever been to Jim's Coleslaw Shack? Oh man, I haven't been to Jim's in a while. We should put an order in. Jim's Coleslaw? Great idea. I know, right? Yes! Hey Lance Put me down for the coleslaw chicken wrap. Yeah, all right Hey! Hit me with a crispy szechuan slaw and a side of fries. Okay! Call the guys in maintenance, they're going to want to get in on this. Yeah, let me get them Oi you dirty bastards. We're gonna get some Jim's Coleslaw. You want some? Hey, Bob! Tell Steve we're getting Jim's! I know what this guy wants. Hey Lance, put me down for an original. Marvelous. You can't go wrong with the original. Still tastes like homemade. Abso-bloody-lutely Awwww yeah we're gettin' Jim's, baby! JIMZ Whoa! I LOVE JIMZ Whoa, okay buddy. We all love Jim's, but let's not get weird about it. No, seriously. Who was that? Whoa what the hell Mr. Vader sir, thank you for coming on such short notice. Hey Chris. I can see why you called. Please tell me that I'm not standing in a nearly completed second Laser Moon I wish I could sir, but we are indeed standing in a near-perfect replica of the first Laser Moon Yeah, no shit, but how did this happen? It's rebuilding itself at exponential speeds! Our scanners can't even keep up with it. Whoa hold on rebuilding itself? That's correct, sir. Chris. I sent you out here to follow up on a zoning complaint, and you're telling me that you found a Laser Moon that's rebuilding itself. But that's not all, sir. Mr. Pal... Dude this is a nightmare. We need to report this to Mr. Palpatine right away! Um... Well, that's the thing sir. Mr. Palpatine was here when we arrived. Wait... What? You mean when you guys first got here and nobody knew about this? Well, that's not good! He's been...talking about a...grand opening. Grand... Opening? Absolutely not. What is he thinking? That's PR suicide. We need to pack up and get out of here until we figure out what's going on. He won't let us leave Who won't let you leave? Vader! I bid thee welcome! To Laser Moon 2! Office. Now. I uhhh Wow Uhh So his office is still down the hall to the left? Okay Thanks Chris Hey, did I miss out on that Jim's order? What am I doing here Far2? I was ready to stay home and binge watch Netflix But somehow I let you talk me into coming to this...thing. Birthday parties don't make any sense. You were born. Congratulations! You have met the bare minimum requirement for existence! Oh and now you want presents? Would you like some cake with your participation trophies? Yes, let's all eat cake at a party that's going to force me to chip in for a bunch of food and drinks I didn't want. Hurrah! This is it Far2. We are about to enter a den of filth and gluttony that transcends the realm of nightmares. Welcome to Space Chuck-E-Cheese's! What? Where a kid can be a kid! Oh, did you hear that, Far2? This is my chance to live out the childhood I never actually had Hmm. Are you on the guest list? Of course we're on the guest list! Do you think I would ever come to a place like this of my own volition? Hey! Nobody's forcing you to be here, guy. You have a great day! Wow! What was his problem? Hey everyone. Haha okay! Hi! Yes, hello Greetings. Salutations. Hi, Jabba. Look who decided to show up. You guys made it! Thanks for coming. Yes and a happy birthday to you. Oh what did you guys bring me? I didn't bring you anything Because I have nothing left to give. You could have old Fart McMuffin here, I suppose. If you want him. I certainly have no use for him. Told you these guys were hilarious. Uh...okay. Get these two some pizza and soda. So did you get anything good this year? I got this hookah with live frogs in it! This little bird monkey thing that laughs at all my jokes. Oh and that life-sized chocolate man over there. I'm gonna eat the whole thing and I'm not gonna share it with anybody Jabba, where did you get that? It came in the mail today for my birthday. When I press this button, it goes in my mouth. What? No, Jabba listen to me very carefully... It's awesome. Yes, it is awesome, but not for the reason you think. I'm gonna eat it until I throw up. It's not chocolate! That is a cocoon waiting to give birth to the future of mankind. Aw yeah is it somebody's birthday?! It's my birthday! That's right it's Jabba's birthday Everybody scream for Jabba It's time for Birthday Attack! Here we go! Everybody make noise it's your birthday Everybody eat cake it's your birthday Everybody stand up it's your birthday Everybody sit down it's your birthday Stand up sit down it's your birthday Everybody do squats it's your birthday Do twenty five squats it's your birthday All the parents do shots it's your birthday Birthday birthday yeah it's your birthday Birthday birthday yeah it's your birthday Oh my god it's too many birthdays Here comes a birthday attack! Here comes a birthday attack! I want chocolate! Here comes a birthday attack Look Far2, he's hatching Surrounded by birthdays! It's your birthday birthday yeah Everybody get loud it's your birthday Everybody eat cake it's your birthday I'm feeling overwhelmed by these birthdays It's your birthday! Here we go! Birthday birthday birthday Here comes a birthday attack Happy birthday! So, Laser Moon 2 huh? That's a thing that seems to be happening. All on its own. Yes. And isn't it the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? Well, I mean, do you want my honest opinion? Not especially. I have big plans for us. Yeah, I heard. Something about a grand opening? Yes, that's right! Do you really think that opening up a zombie laser tag facility is a good idea? Vader. I know this is a lot to take in But I need you to trust me. Yeah, but that... I've been building and running successful business since before you were born. Okay, but I... If we work together we can capitalize on this opportunity and avoid another disaster like the first Laser Moon Yeah, but just to be clear Laser Moon 2 rebuilding itself from nothing does not concern you at all. What I am concerned about his talent. If we are going to make this an opening to remember then we need the biggest names in entertainment. Like Celine Dion, or that bubble jam guy! Oo, no, those guys are way outdated! But what you're saying is you want to go big, right? Yes! The biggest! Yeah, yeah. Alright, I can wrangle you some talent But if we're gonna do this I need your guarantee that you have this whole thing under control. Of course, Vader. I knew I could count on you You are my number one guy Now get out of here! There's not a moment to lose! Okay! And get me some wet wipes while you're out! You got it! Breath mints for your butt cheeks. Hey you must be Dirk Lasermaster Yes. Am I too early? No, this is perfect. I'll tell him you're here. Great, I'll get into position. Hey Jabba, we've got a surprise for you. Oh, I love surprises! Am I to believe it's your birthday? Yeah, it's MY birthday! And perhaps you like laser magic. I love laser magic! Well then prepare yourself... ...to be amazed. The show is about to begin Photo or holographic recordings are not permitted during the performance at any time. If you are not seated on balcony level move to the nearest viewing portal in your assigned area. And remember: The Dirk Lasermaster team are professionals. The show will begin shortly. Was that a foam dome on your head? Well...can I get one? Far2, is it just me, or does Han Singular seem... ...unexceptional? Well here's hoping! Ladies and gentlemen Please enjoy the Dirk Lasermaster The Last Laser Master laser magic spectacular. Han Singular, now is your chance! Show them your power! In the beginning there was only darkness Then came the laser masters. Keepers of the light. wielders of mysterious power who pushed back the darkness. For many ages there was much peace and dancing Over time, their deeds were forgotten and the order of the laser masters vanished. But now, the darkness has returned And there is only one hope to keep the agents of darkness at bay. The last laser master. Han Singular, activate! His heart is pure. His body strong. The laser master puts it all on the line. He'll push himself to right what's wrong. The power of light was inside him this whole time. When he fights, he fights for peace! He never fights for the wrong reasons The flow of time will never cease The darkness lurks in all four seasons What exactly is he fighting for? The story line seems a little dubious Is it real or a metaphor? Why is dance require to free us? Is the darkness man or beast? Is the light some kind of super power? So many questions my confusion's increase Can someone help me figure out just why He's the last laser master! He's the last laser master! He's the last laser master! He's the last laser master! Light and darkness before my eyes The motivation's still a little hazy If evil wins, then what is the prize? I think that maybe I'm just going crazy Oh wait I get it. The answer is clear The darkness hides inside our very souls. When hope is lost and the ending is near I think I finally figured out just why he's the last laser master! He's the last laser master! He's the last laser master! He's the last laser master! Bravisimo! Han Singular! You are the single greatest disappointment of my entire life! Hello? Yes, hello? I'm looking for Dirk. Dirk Lasermaster He's this totally rad dude that used to be a shy little punk named Duke? Hey, you did great today. Thanks for not dropping me this time. That sand looked pretty hot. So what's up? Have you heard about Laser Moon 2? People are really freaking out. There's gonna be this huge protest party on Tree World, they're calling it a gathering of the rebelos. Yeah, I heard about that Do you want to go? There's going to be epic dirt bike racing. Awesome. Epic hide-and-seek. I know you love those. I am in. Cool! I'm gonna have to take care of some things before I can go. Oo mysterious. Okay! Meet up with us and we'll fly down together. Alright. We'll see ya. See ya How very sleepy I am First a bedtime story and then nappy times. But I need your help! I need to talk to Obi and you're the only one who knows where he hangs out. Blah blah blah blah. Yoda! It's story time! There's a two-for-one pizza coupon in it for you. Extra toppings? Unlimited. Coupon from where? Space Chuck-E-Cheese's. Oh! A deal we have! Thanks. Duke? Obi Wan Steven Ben Larry Kenobi. Or should I just say "dad"? Well actually most people just call me Bongjo now. I don't give a shit! Why didn't you tell me? I've been trying to get a hold of you for like a whole year. Where have you been? Duke, look This is all still pretty new to me. Being a ghost. And being a dad. It's not that I don't care about you I've always cared about you. Oh, have you? From a certain point of view. A certain point of view? Come sit down with me on this log Look at me! I used to be just a voice! now I can sit on logs! I'm not going to pretend like I havn't made mistakes in my life but I always tried to be a friend. I didn't need a friend. I needed a father Well nobody's perfect Duke, I needed the cash But I did my best to find a good buyer. Oh, oh, I'm sorry when you put it like that it sort of makes you, like the best father in the whole galaxy. Well you don't have to rub it in Duke. Look Everyone else is wearing either black or earth tones Why can't you just find a different pair of pants you're embarrassing us oh now listen to me? You're embarrassing us. Oh, now listen to me. I can't have you question my look. You can't deny that results speak for themselves. Whatever are you sure you're gonna find a beer for us? Han. Trust me. There's gonna be enough beer for the whole planet All right? All right. I've got your promise then. Keystone Light? Man, your taste in beer is embarrassing! I know. Dickhead Ready everybody? All set. So what's the story with this Tree World? Tree World we go hard We go hard Over there! Epic dirt bikes let's go! Leia! What are you doing? We can still beat them! Welcome to my planet the planet is called Tree World We fight against the threats to make it a free world Rebelos never steppin' back yeah we takin' a stand Survival of the fittest the weak will never advance We rugged where we roll the bravest on our clan So when we step into your area you better take demands Look at our history we all remember what happened when Laser Moon 1 destroyed the whole planet Now the people of this town we are not cooperating with the corporations that are tearing down the whole nation Every citizen has lost patience and is frustrated Taking matters in our own hands we are not shaken We're gonna pay you we out in the streets protesting Rebelos in the Tree World got you all stressin' So Laser Moon 2 yeah you better second guess it and if it goes through we'll make sure you regret it We are the tee are double ee double you oh are el dee what Tee are double ee double you oh are el dee what We are the tee are double ee double you oh are el dee what We are the tee are double ee double you oh are el dee what Rebelos! All right you bunch of chicken dinners listen up First order of business Congratulations to whichever one of you ingrates complained to the top brass about my swearing. They busted my chops pretty good So thanks a lot for taking away one of the few joys I had left in this job. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get down to the real reason we're here chasing hooligans Word's come down that there's a massive Rebelo protest party happening on Tree World And you know what that means. A bunch of no good flim flamin', woo-hoo, illicit substances and activities. We know that there's gonna be a constant stream of alcohol, midi-chlorians death sticks and whatever else these screw heads are transporting to and from the planet. Now we're not going to hit the planet directly. We are gonna get them where it hurts. We're taking out their supply line and we're setting up a dragnet in order to take their runners by surprise. You mean like a trap, sir? No! It's not a trap. It's a dragnet. Traps are for criminals. We're cops and we do things by the gosh dang book. Anyway, we're going to set up a dragnet right here in the proximity of Laser Moon 2 which appeared mysteriously out of nowhere last week. Laser Moon 2 appeared out of nowhere? Yeah. That sounds like a trap, sir. It's not a trap, Santino! While the circumstances are certainly puzzling, all the permits check out. Now when we spring that dragnet these poop suckers won't even know what hit them. The full weight of the space cops is going to drop on their heads like a sledgehammer. All right report to dispatch for your assignments. Sir, one last question. Alright, sure. Tanner and I were having a debate and we're hoping you could weigh in on it for us, and, uh... Well spit it out flap dang it! Can you tell us what type of music this is? Alright, nice try, Fitzsimmons! Get your ugly fart faces out of my sight! Tag! Shit! You're it! Wow he's good Hey I give up I'm the best. I'm a hide-and-seek dominator. You're it, now. Oh, okay! Fun! Flee you animals you have all become my prey Come Far2, let the hunt begin! Three! Two! One! I see you! Tally Ho Far2, we'll find them I I found you! Huh where is everyone? Come on, Far2. Hello Far2 our prey has eluded us. Maybe we should retrace our steps. What do you mean we're lost? How is this my fault? What?! Stop that! Far2 listen to me, now is not the time for panic! Just calm down and let me collect my thoughts. Help me! Please! Are you there, Laser Moon? Yes, I am Here. I am always here. Are you here in my mind? Yes, I am here It is Optimal Yes I can feel it. I can feel the power of Laser Moon We are Laser Moon? No. I am Laser Moon! We... You... you... you. Uh...now seems like a really good time for a coffee break. Dude. You read my mind. Where's my mocha FRAP with extra whip? I ordered it five minutes ago. That's my bad, sorry, sir! Gonna be one of those days, isn't it. Hey. Kill the music until we're past these space cops. What's happening? Sir! We have an APB match on the Millennium Falcon. Sweet sugary snacks the Millennium Falcon? That's gotta be the supply line Hit it, boys! What the hell man? I'm going the speed limit! It's a DWB, bruh. Driving while black. Listen, this isn't even my ride, it's registered to my friend Han. You borrowed a car from a white man to go on a beer run? What's wrong with that? They're going to think we stole it! Well let's just act natural and go to super turbo mode. Um...Super turbo mode is the opposite of acting natural? Well how do we know they're after us? They've activated super turbo mode. We know where they're going. After them! You! In the Millennium Falcon! Pull over RIGHT NOW! Well I guess that answers your question. Let's pop the cherry on this dragnet Santino call it in Santino! Cheese and crackers don't freeze up on me now, Santino. Santino! Yes sir! Sorry sir! All units, this is Santino. It's...it's uh... Spring the trap! It's not a trap! State space police Everybody split up. Screw this, let's put some music back on. Hell yeah. Sir, they're breaking off. Stay with the Falcon. Maybe we can lose them if we get closer to Laser Moon. Do whatever you've gotta do, man. I'm not going back! Status report! We're trying to catch them, sir, but...we can't. That is not a report, son, that's just stating the obvious. I need specifics, Santino. We're losing a lot of ships in our own crossfire. It's possible that the dragnet was not a very good idea It's possible that the dragnet was not a very good idea. Oh, it's a dragnet all of a sudden What the hell are these idiots doing? Sir? We just incapacitated our own lead cruiser. Yeah, I can see that. And now it is crashing into Laser moon and causing a giant explosion. I feel everything. What the fudge nuggets just happened? Laser Moon's firing on the fleet! Shit. It is a trap. Yeah! Tree World, baby! Hey are you guys watching pod racing? Because I love pod racing Turn it up. You've got it, sir. How's Jingleberry Danks looking so far? Is he off to a cold start like always? He looks good! I've actually got fifty money units on him. Jingleberry Danks is my BOY Oh! Come on, where's the call on that?! Pretty exciting race so far! We'll be back after this short break. Have you ever dreamed of having the power of light in the palm of your hand? What the...? Now for the first time ever Dirk Lasermaster conquers the secrets of laser magic Oh this is the thing Duke told me about! Indulge yourself in an astounding world of mystery and ancient mythology A place where no one else but The Last Laser Master can take you. No shit. Ooh-la-la check out the babe. Yeah, that's my daughter. Leia. Oh my god, you're right. I sincerely apologize for that sir. I didn't recognize her. Nah, don't worry about it, John. It's an honest mistake. You are a huge perv, though. Yep. Book The Last Laser Master for your next big event today! Wow that is amazing You know what? I need to reach out to Duke. This is exactly what I've been looking for Man what a good omen. Oh my god, Jingleberry Danks has exploded! This is a dark day for Danks fans! Wow, now this is pod-racing! Friend Besto?! Friend Besto?! Where could he be? Hey! Look alive fellas. Hey! Hello, sir. What's up, RMV? Mr. Palpatine! I have found the perfect act to headline the grand opening. He's an up-and-coming fresh talent, and he is blowing up right now Mr. Palpatine? Is this not a good time? Do you hear that Vader? Hear what? The... ...the Mozart? No Listen closely It's the quiet hum of power Power that is only possible through the perfect marriage between man and machine Wow, that's a... That's a weird random thing to say. Why are you here, Vader? I'm here because I found this kick-ass act for the grand opening, and it's my nephew Duke so we could totally get a good deal. Do what you will. My mind is occupied with... ...bigger things. A grand... Opening? ...singular purpose Okay great, so I'll go ahead and add The Last Laser Master to the official lineup. Wait. Repeat that name. The Last Laser Master. It's my nephew, Duke, right, and he... Bring him to me. I wish to witness this laser mastery for myself Okay great. Oh you are gonna love him. He is a super good kid. He's talented. He's got a lot of heart You're turning your back to me, so I guess we're done here. Leave me! What in the hell is happening? Wakey-wakey Eggs and bakey Hey guys! My new friends and I have been watching you sleep. These are the tree people We have... ...such sights to show you. Don't worry the tree people carry all of their guests And watch! This this is how they get around Simple, effective and fun! I hope you guys are ready for a crazy night You'll never believe what happened to me Shortly after being designated "it" by Han Singular, we became lost in the woods I feared I would never see any of you again, so I quickly drafted a rough plan to eat Far2 for survival But then, at the point of my greatest despair Far2 discovered that Tree World has an indigenous population. They took us to their village. Gave us food and drink. And introduced us to an ancient and magical ceremony One that allows them to connect directly to the planet and speak to it! The animals, the trees, plants Everything is connected It is exactly like Pandora But instead of connecting to it with cool hairdos you do it by inhaling obscene amounts of DMT. Which is way better because that means anyone can do it. I did it. And now you will do it. And you will thank me for it. Ignite the DMT Don't fight it Breathe it in. I never understood how truly lost I was until I connected with Tree World and its people Let me show you what I've learned on my Vision Quest I once believed that pain was a gift and that my purpose was to share it with the world. And when I was rejected by father my confusion turned first to resentment and then... ...innovation. I sacrificed the citizens of Tatooine for what I believed was the greater good But when Far2 tried to show me the error of my ways He was inadvertently infected with a virus I installed it to my engine's defense matrix. Which led to the birth of a new consciousness. In my hubris, I used this beautiful new life not for progress... ...but for vengeance! And its light was extinguished forever Grief-stricken, I allowed my vision to become clouded by the fog of alcohol I got drunk with a rad dude named Lobot, whose disco style was unmatched Together we tried building a second me, which immediately attempted to take my place To this day my nemesis roams free amongst the stars waiting for the opportunity to destroy me! That was such a crazy night! I even built an evolution chamber and...well... ...we all know how that turned out. But I forgive you, Han Regular. I forgive you because I have found a greater purpose for us all. I now see that all of these events have led me here to the Tree People. Where I sought meaning in technology... ...the Tree People have found it in nature. They have become nature! That is the true singularity! Don't you see? They were once just like you and I But Tree World changed them like it will change us! We too will become short, fuzzy and excruciatingly adorable. We will spend eternity snuggling with the cosmos! Now, release them! Release our new brothers and sister as we experience the joys of the transformation together! Awaken to Tree World as I become Toruk Makto and unite the clans! Let us all protect the unobtanium from Stephen Lang and Giovanni Ribisi Oh my god! Tree Dudes! How much DMT did you light?! I think I'm going to puke. Alright, congratulations You're all tree people now Mazel Tov Get to know each other. Somebody get me down All right, I'll see in a little bit Hey, what's going on between you and Duke? What? Oh, it's nothing. What's the big deal, Han? We're dating. Dating? Come on, I thought we had a thing going on. Han, I was never really with you. It was just casual. But besides that you were frozen, for like a year. You chose Duke cause I was frozen? I knew you wouldn't understand. You're right! Hey. We could... ...still be friends. Everybody needs friends, right? You got it, buddy Pissing outside is awesome You know it's the little things you miss when you're cooped up in space all the time You know? Huh. Come to think of it this may be the first time I've ever even been in a forest. Really? Yeah, can you believe that? These giant trees are... ...actually kind of freaking me out. Alright, sorry about that. So Duke... ...the irony of me asking to come work at Laser Moon while you're at a Laser Moon protest is not lost on me. But I really believe Mr. Palpatine is dedicated to making things right. And if you want me to get all mushy It would just be really great to have you around. I just don't know if... ...if corporate is for me Listen don't think of it as working for a corporation. Think of it as an artist's grant. If you don't like it just take the money and run! I just want what's best for you, and I think we could have a lot of fun working together. All right, I'll give it a shot. Nice! You won't regret this, Duke. There is one condition, though. If this works out... ...you're gonna have to put some more clothes on my daughter So what is a laser master anyway? Is it sort of like the good version of a Jedi? Because I see a lot of their influence in your style except you're not a giant douche You know it's more like an ideal than it is like a literally thing. You know what man, that's awesome. You know and you're doing something really positive, and I think that's great Mr. Palpatine, I want you to meet my nephew Duke creator of The Last Laser Master Welcome Dirk Lasermaster I have been expecting you. I'm not going to lie, Duke, I've been talking you up pretty hard. So... ...did you get a chance to check out the video links I sent you? Yes. I'm still not convinced that his abilities are real. Oh no, they're legit. Duke is one of a kind. There is no one else out there doing this kind of thing. Show me. Show me your powers. Oh! Uh... Is that even possible, Duke? I'm not really prepared. I don't know the space, I don't have my crew. Oh! I'm afraid to say that you have no place in this operation. I'm disappointed in you, regional manager. I was expecting a laser master. Not a chicken master. What?! What are you talking about? You saw the videos. He's perfect for this! Ah, Duke, we're losing him. Come on, I'll help you! You don't need your crew. I'm no laser master, but... ...your old uncle's got some moves. Leave me! Duke, come on Feel it, man What's your name? Tell me your name. My name is Dirk Lasermaster. And what are you? The last laser master Yeah boy! Woo! God damn you're fast! Alright Duke, Duke! Check out my sick flip power. God, are you alright? Ugh, I think I broke my ankle, Duke. No no no, don't stop, don't stop! I'm just gonna...I'm gonna walk it off, Duke. I'm gonna suck it up. You don't have to do this No, no I'm good I'm good okay on three two one Go! Alright, we're in it! We're in a big time This is it! Ha! Whoa, where'd he go?! Wow that was whoa! Duke, there is no way I'm gonna be able to do that, man You just have to follow my lead. After I count to three throw something. Got it! One. Two Three, now! Oh no, Duke! Crap, Duke I didn't mean to do that. Are you okay? Where are you? Here I am! Wait, what?! Alright, grand finale! Aw geez, okay! Alright, Duke! Duke, slow it down a little bit No you're doing great! I can't keep up Duke! Duke I can't breathe! Oh god Oh god! Uncle Anakin? What a pathetic display You have no actual power Duke! I can't feel my right side. I think I'm having a stroke How dare you come before me peddling these... ...theatrics. Duke? Duke... You are no laser master I am the one true laser master! Whoa what the hell? Duke are you okay? I am the harbinger of a better tomorrow! Mr. Palpatine! I am the singularity! Hey! I am flesh perfected as the maker Creepio has envisioned. Wait, what did you just say? Mr. Palpatine! I'm talking to you! Now Duke Dirtfarmer... You will die. Excuse me?! Yeah, I don't think so, buster! I'm sick of your shit! Consider that...my two week notice! Oh shit Oh my god! Duke! Duke, I think we're in deep trouble! We've got to get out of here right now! I'm not gonna make it Duke oh shit! Fuck it! Just drag me! Drag me, Duke. Duke, did we make it? What's this hullabaloo all about? Laser Moon 2?! Don't tease me like that, Far2! I told you, I no longer dwell on the past. Excelsior Fart McMuffin! Stop touching me! Wow, that was close. You saved us, Duke. Duke This is all my fault What? I'm such an asshole! No! I've been surrounded by assholes my whole life but that's...that's no excuse. Duke Duke, I'm sorry I tried to turn you into a sellout. No, it's okay. It's not okay! That was selfish of me and you definitely would have turned into an asshole Just like me What? Just like everyone. Come on, you're being too hard on yourself. No, it's true. We live in the Assholeverse, Duke. I'm the Chancellor of Asshole City. I passed a vote of no-confidence and stole power from all the other assholes. But you. You're better than that, Duke. You're the Laser Master You make people happy. You make my daughter happy. Keep doing that... ...and you'll never be an asshole. Duke. Help me take this shit off my face. I don't work for these guys anymore. I mean, I just threw my boss down a mega shaft, so... ...even if I didn't quit, I'm pretty sure I'm fired. Now, uh, feel around the back of my head for a latch. When you find it, it'll click. Yep, that's it. You got it. Oh, that's nice How do I look? Duke Did my eyebrows just disappear? It's okay, I don't have much time. There's something important I have to tell you Whatever you do you have to stop Creep... Welcome to my planet the plenty is called free moon fight against the threat to make it a free world Never stepping back. He'll be taking the Saints in survival of the fittest slowly You'll never became rough and rugged when we roll the bravest our gleams when we step into your area you better take them in Look at our history. We all remember what happens when laser were one destroyed the whole plant having people of the town We are not cooperating your corporations that I'm tearing down the whole range of every citizen as more patients And it's frustrating it matters in our own hands. We are not to take don't work under babe We out on the street to protest Jeepers fellows in the tree world got you press to blaze a movie - yeah, you better second guessing and if it goes through we'll make sure you granny Odyssey, ah ee wo Bb-but were you old LT c oo Ee wo r LD w Oh L do
Fresh.
Uncle Anakin's love for his nephew is surprisingly touching.
Also the skewering of office culture is just magical. The scene where they crew of Death Star II is too busy placing their orders from Jim's Coleslaw to care that they're literally working for the Singularity rang hauntingly true to life.
Now I really want a Jim's Coleslaw t-shirt.
Please support these guys. These videos are hilarious and they've been working for a year.
"What am I doing here, Fartoo? I was ready to stay home and bingewatch Netflix, but somehow I let you talk me into coming to this...thing. Birthday parties don't make any sense! You were born! Congratulations! You have met the bare minimum requirement for existence! Oh and now you want presents? Would you like some cake with your participation trophies? Yes! Let's all eat cake at a party that's going to force me to chip in for a bunch of food and drinks I didn't want! Hurrah!"
If you're unfamiliar with the Auralnauts Star Wars parodies, and don't just want to dive into a 50 minute video (although you should!), here is the trailer for this episode: Ep.6: The Last Laser Master Teaser
And here are all of the other episodes:
Ep1: Jedi Party
Ep2: The Friend Zone
Ep3: Revenge of Middle Management
Ep4: Laser Moon Awakens
Ep5: Attack of the Phantom Past
As much as I loved most of the rest of it, my favorite scene was actually the intro. The Cole Slaw bit was just perfectly edited and executed. On top of that, you have The Blue Danube playing in the background like in 2001: A Space Odyssey to nicely tie it all together.
I noticed they called it the conclusion. Have they already shot down the possibility of making their versions of the sequel trilogy? I was kind of hoping they would make them.
It’s baby time!
an absolute masterpiece. I love the auralnauts saga