Bhai kya naam hai aapka? Late aaye tum? Kyu? * Office * Office se late.... Office se jaldi aaya hai tu! Yeh dhai baje tu late nahi aaya Itna jaldi kaise aaya office se? * Government job * Oh so you work for Adanis! Oh nice. Kya kaam karte ho? * Customs * Customs main? Bhai mera jacket aur joote US se Kha gaye yeh log yaar! * Mil jayega mil jayega * Mereko number deke ja end main Yash iska number leneka hai ha Mera joota aur jacket aaya hai Tujhe mazak lag raha hai? Tumko kya lag raha hai main
mazak raha hu stage pe khade reh ke? Haso mat yaar Baat karne do isse Tumhara waha pe kya
kaam hai? Role kya hai? * Import ka checking * Dubai se biscuit viscuit aata hai Hai na? Waha sab hota hai na? Mast mast Number le! Nice! Aur bhai aap? * Uh * Uh Dakar liya tune? * Question kya tha
mujhe samjh nahi aaya * Question pucha hi nahi Tu samjhega kaisa? Naam hi hoga na obviously * Kya pucha aapne? * Yeh mandh hai kya? Kaha pe rehte ho aap? * Sion * Sion. Aur ab naam batao. * Zeeshan * Zeeshan kya karte ho? * MBA kiya hai.... * Eh tum log haso mat yaar * MBA kiya hai Marketing main * Marketing. Job karte ho? * Haa *
Kaha pe? * Bandra Kurla complex. Pegasus main * Toh abhi tum bhi office se late aaye? * Nahi main office nahi
gaya. Aaj work from home hai * Work from home hai Tum kya soch rahe ho
Faruqui kitni mehnet lagi hai Aur bhai aap? * Naam puch rahe ho? * Naam hi na obviously! * Sanket * Sanket aur kaam kya karte ho? * Investment banking * Ohh dekha Yeh hota hai kaam Kaunsi bank ke liye? Punjab National Bank? Kaunsi bank? * Deutsche Bank * Deutsche! Ohoo nice Pura naam kya hai?
Deutsche and Gabbana? Deutsche Bank. Yeh kaha pe hai?
BKC main hi hai tumhara bhi office? * Nahi mera Goregaon * Goragaon main. Aur aap? * Diksha * Diksha kya karti ho? * Family business hai * Family business. Kis cheez ka? * Constructions * Construction ka Banate kya ho tum log? * Building, apartment complexes * Matlab bahot paise wali ho tum Tu client ko leke ghum raha hai! Yeh subah waha job pe ja raha hai
aur yeh toh buildings bana rahi hai Kaise mila yeh? * Hum log coaching
classes main the saath main* Kis cheez ki coaching le rahe the? * MBA. CAD * MBA ki Badhiya. Aur tu pata liya? * Nahi! * Toh? * Dost hai * Dost hai?! Toh teri
koi girlfriend nahi hai? * Thi abhi nahi hai * Tu dost nahi hai, tu umeed hai! Aur tumhara koi boyfriend nahi hai? * Nahi * Tha? * Bahot pehele abhi nahi * Bahot pehele. Uhh huu.... Maidan saaf hai Aur bhaiya aap? * Prabhav * Prabhav Matlab kya hota hai
iska? Sabko jaan na hai? Prabhav ka matlab * Prabhaav ki utpati jis bindu
se ho usse Prabhav kehte hai * Ohooo. Ghazal night main aapka swagat hai! Abhi aap bhi ek muhavra sunao Aur aapka naam? * Rishabh * Rishabh Iska matlab kya hota hai? Ati bindu se.......... * It is related to Lord Shiva.
Like I asked my mom * Theek hai. Aee bhai kya.... * Main? * Haa * Mera Vignesh * Vignesh. Bhai kya hai yeh? Yeh sab shlok suna rahe hai mereko? Dharmesh kaise ho aap? Kya naam hai tera? * Bhoomik * Ha bhai sab log waise hi aaye hai Badhiya, Kya karte ho tum? * Main job karta hu * Hmm aap? * Job * Kaha pe? * Ek startup hai * Yeh kya hai? * Office se ek baje
chuta na toh abhi aaya * Bag main kya hai? * Tiffin rahega yaar * Tiffin rahega? Iss desh main kya Musalmaano
ke hi bag check hoge kya? Laptop hai Tiffin laye hai? Yeh tiffin? * Ha yeh tiffin * Main ek baar Juhu pe ja raha tha na Car main tha Police wale ne roka Aur pata hai naam puchte hai woh...... Tu isme khaana leke jaata hai? Ohh. Roti. Aur sabzi? Order? Sabzi bhi hai. Kya hai sabzi? * Baingan ka bharta * Arey oh. Tumko bhook lagi thi na? Baingan ka bharta Ha toh yeh khaana upar
rakho aur bag niche rakho Aur khaana kab khaoge toh fir? * Jaane ke baad * Nahi nahi. Abhi Abhi khaana sabke saamne khayega Log tujhe baingan ka bharta
khaate dekhna chahte hai Hi maam What's your name? * Riddhima * Riddhima. Aap?? * Abhishek * Abhishek. Kya karte ho aap dono? * Main toh I'm trying for acting and yeh.... * Nahi aap dono ek saath kya karte ho? Mujhe nahi jaan na tum
log alag alag kya karte ho Saath main kya kar rahe ho toh mazza hai * Peheli baar mile hai abhi yeh * * We're meeting for the first time * Kyu?! I mean... Ek minute ek minute Main Riddhima ko leke
possesive nahi ho raha Main khaali aise hi puch raha hu
kyu peheli baar mil rahe ho aaj? * Because isse pehele
Instagram pe baat hoti thi na * Toh aaj aap logo ne kya decide kiya? * We thought ki... Isne
bola ki comedy show hai * Yeh sab bahane hai Yeh sab bahane hai madam Aur yeh Riddhima ne bhi ha bol diya Ki peheli baar mil rahi hu, saamne baith ke tere se baat nahi karni Haath dur rakh First meeting hai aur baat
nahi kar rahe aapas main Best place * Peheli baar main comedy show dekhne
aayi hu koi bhi. Like stand up first time * Nice nice. Hi Riddhima! Tere se jyada baat toh
isse baat main kar li hai! * Can I say that you are very
funny. I am enjoying my time * Thank you so much Riddhima ke liye ek cocktail! Nice nice Bro! Aaj tereko return main
joke sunna ne padenge isko Dekh rahe ho ab isko kya top karna hai? Munawar Faruqui ko top karna hai! Nahi bro kar dega yeh.
Accha dikhta hai yaar yeh Ha bol dena. Agar propose kiya toh Matlab aise hi haan mat bol dena Dikha shakal. Hass ke dikha 2-3 baar nas kaate toh bol Nice nice. Aayeye. Tereko dhoop aa rahi thi jo tune yeh kiya?! Yaha andhere main khade reh kar yeh kiya! Sahi hai Kiske saath ho? Dost hai tumhare already? Kaha hai? Tum dono? Accha tum log seat dhund rahe the Seat aise nahi milti Mudde uthane padte hai! Nice nice. Aur aapka naam? * Atif * Atif Tu baitha hi aisa hai jaise
tu baat karna chahta hai Aage hoke Ke kaha se ho Atif? * Kalina * Kalina. Aur aapke saath kaun hai? Atif ..... ke saath kya kar raha hai? Bhabhi asalam walakum! Nice nice. Toh girlfriend boyfriend ho? * Haanji * Ohhhh! Dharmesh, Vignesh, yeh woh Score hum log kar rahe hai! Bro game up karo Kabse date kar rahe ho? * 4 years * 4 years Aur gharwale raazi hai? * Mere gharpe toh pata hai * * Inka thoda doubtful hai * Doubtful hai? Abey
doubtful nahi, yakeen rakh! Nahi ho raha hai Nahi ho raha hai Kya tension main rahenge na yeh log abhi? Experience se bol raha hu Tu kya has raha hai, game up kar * Karke chod diya * Game up karke chod diya? Nice Girlfriend thi? Kya naam hai? * Arshiya * Arshiya. Muslim girlfriend? Sahi hai! Fir usne kyu choda? * 3 din tak phone nahi uthaya * Tumne?
* Haa * Tumne 3 din tak phone nahi uthaya Toh usne chod diya? Toh usne woh 3 baar talaak samjha? Muslim ladkiyan 3 baar bola khatam! 3 din tak phone nahi uthaya Yes!! Mufat mila matlab kya! Toh mere ghar pe na, main aaj subah utha aur sab log porn dekh rahe the Main shock ho gaya Main bola yeh kya hai? Main bhi dekhne laga Toh utne main police wala aaya Toh main samajh gaya yeh Crime Patrol hai Main wahi sochu, ghar wale
itne progressive kaise ho gaye 2 din pehele behen ne bola
tha dance class join karna hai Toh usko abhi tak store
room main bandh ke rakhe Kaise aap log late ho gaye? Late nahi...... Huh? * Pehele wale show main
bhi the. Yahi repeat * Iske pehele jo show ho raha tha? Poetry? Aap poetry perform kiye? Aap toh offend honge hi nahi koi joke se * Nahi honge * Kyuki already depressed hai yeh log Sorry Main host kar raha hu Open kar raha hu toh logo se baat karunga Beech beech main thoda
joke suna dunga. Theek hai? Bhai! Hi. Hello * Hi * Kya naam hai aapke? * Nikhil * Nikhil.... Aap kal bhi aaye the show pe? * Yes * Tera naam? * Nikhil * Tu kal kisi aur ke saath aayi thi? * He's my friend. He's my friend * But kal kisi aur ke saath aayi thi?
* Ha ha * Woh kaun tha?
* Mera boyfriend tha * Boyfriend tha Aaj boyfriend ko pata
hai tu iske saath aayi hai? * Haa * Oh nice Nikhil durr reh, iska boyfriend Muslim hai Isko pata hai na? Bhabhi asalam walakum! Mereko isliye yaad hai ki ......
karke koi ladki thi Atif ki girlfriend 4 saal se date kar rahe hai Haina?
* Yes * Nice nice. Yeh wapis aa gayi Show dekhne. Kal aayi ha dekhke. Wapis aayi Matlab abhi tum log pe pressure hai Ke show toh accha hai, hum
lo ch***** hai samjh nahi aaya ....... pe bhi pressure hai Ke agar tum log ko show
pasand nahi aaya toh aap sochoge na Kya ch***** hai baar baar aayi Yeh dekhne? 2 baar? Bhai aapka naam? * Jeet * Aur maam aapka naam? * Richa * Richa, aap donno kya? Ek dusre ke dost? * No. Husband wife * Husband wife. Oye. Aap
log bahot young dikhte ho Maam? * Stiyanna * Stianne? Stiyanna. Kya matlab hota hai iska? * Dedicated * Oh nice English hi matlab hota hai? Hindi main matlab batao na Aapka? * Shabbir * Shabbir Shabbir ka matlab toh..... Aur bhai aap? * Tahir * Tahir. Aap akele aaye hai? * Ha * Kyu? * Aise hi * * Koi tha nahi na saath main laane k liye* Tu mic lagaya hai kya? Iski aawaz kuch jyada clear nahi aa rahi? * In-built hai * * Akele aane walo ki aawaz tez hoti hai * Aap bhi akele aayi ho kya? Aap bhi akele aayi ho? * 4 logo ne ditch kiya * 4 logo ne ditch kiya Tum chahti kya thi unn logo ke saath? Tumne maanga kya tha? * Tumhaara show * Acche dost banao Acche dost banao Kabhi shaadi hui aap logo ki? * 8 years * 8 saal pehele shaadi hui Tumhara Baalika Vadhu wala scene hai kya? * Humara ek chota baccha
bhi hai. He is at home * Arey bhai yeh toh ladka ladki lag rahe hai 8 saal se shaadi ho gayi tum logo ki Tum sach bol rahe ho ya
aise ch***** bana rahe ho? Ke isko hi pagal kar do
joke kya l*** banayega Kaise? Love marriage? * Yes * Tumhari age puchu chalega?
* Ya * Kya age hai?
* 31 * 31. 8 saal pehele 22-23 saal
main shaadi. Love marriage? * Yes * Usse pehele love bhi chala hoga?
* Ha * Kitne dinn?
* From 9th standard * From 9th standard * From 9th standard. School time * School time ka pyaar Tum log yeh sab kar rahe the? Aur aapki age inke jaise same hai? * 30 * Yeh love story ke liye taaliyan yaar 15-16 saal se saath ho ek dusre ke Aur pakde nahi gaye ek bhi baar. Nice yaar * Pakde gaye tabhi shaadi hui * Nahi nahi. Ek dusre pe cheat
karte hue nahi pakde gaye Bahot sahi hai yeh love story Aur log aaye na abhi? Kaun hai? Haath upar karo Aap logo ko late kaise hua? * Traffic * Traffic. Kaha se aaye aap? * Andheri * Andheri se yaha aaye Pehele se plan nahi tha show? * Nahi * Toh achanak kaise decide kiya? Ke badi udaas ho rahi hai zindagi Thoda traffic main sadd ke hassa jaye *We came to know Munawar is performing.
I only came because you are performing * Maam ko ek cocktail Aur ek pen Bro tu bathroom main mereko mila na? * Ha * Main bathroom main tha Aur yeh piche se aake
bolta hai 'Bhai bhai bhai bhai' * I was excited to see you * Sahi main yaar. Bathroom main
'Bhai bhai bhai, ek selfie le lu?' Main bola 'Ruk ja lekin' Bro kya soch ke tu aisa.... Aur mereko bol raha hai 'Hug kar lu?' * Pasand ho yaar * Nahi yaar. Thank you. So sweet bro Koi bhi kahi pe bhi milo,
mujhse maang lo selfie Main kahi pe bhi rahu * Show ke baad de do.
Show ke baad rukne wale ho? * Nahi nahi. Show ke baad
mein abhi chale jaunga * Show ke pehele mereko * Linehe hi maar deni tumhareko Seedha seedha. Perform karne do na Show ke baad main shayad
chale jau but shayad ruku Show ke baad le sakte hai.
Koi stress nahi. Don't worry Maam aapka naam? ha
* Nisha * Nisha aap kiske saath aaye ho? Kaun hai yeh?
* My daughter * Oh nice. Bolne do usko Hi * Hi * Kya naam hai aapka?
* Kunjan * Kunjan aap mom ko saath leke aayi? * Yes * Kyu? * Aise hi matlab * Mom akele jaane nahi
deti aisa kuch nahi hai na? * No actually I came day
before yesterday also * Kal aaye the aap? * Day before yesterday * Day before yesterday. Main tha?
* Yes * Oh toh aap wapis aagayi Dekh rahe ho? Pressure aap logo pe hi hai Ab toh yeh maa ko leke
aa gayi hai saath main * Rishta rishta * Nahi uss din maine woh
sex wale jokes nahi maare the Aaj maar raha hu aunty! Yeh launde khush ho rahe hai Yeh yeh. Tum chaaro saath main ho na? * Nahi nahi * Toh tum teeno saath main ho Toh tu toh ekdum iski godh main baitha hai Tu! Haa! Kya naam hai tera?
* Arshit * Arshit Tera?
* Maanav * Maanav. Tera? * Mihir * Kya karte ho tum teeno? Ha? * Building main rehte hai * Building main rehte ho Abey ek dusre ke saath
kya karto ho nahi pucha Arey building se yeh yaad aaya Mera ek dost hai Owais Hum log ki building main hi rehta hai. Uski girlfriend bhi humare
building main rehti hai Uska ek dost hai Mustafa Owais Mustafa best friends Ab uski girlfriend usko ghost
karti hai na jaise reply nahi karti Toh yeh pareshan ho gaya 'Kya
karu. Kya karu? Samjh nahi aa raha' Toh Mustafa ne usko idea diya Ke bro toothpaste le Jhaag bana muh main Aur girlfriend ko video banake bhej de Daudti hui aayegi Toh bike pe baithe aur
pura Bombay ghum rahe hai Jagah dhundne ke liye
ki kaha banaye yeh video Kahi jagah nahi mili toh
wapis building ke niche hi aaye Parking main woh so gaya Jhaag nikalke Bole 'Bana video' Bole 'Muh toh dikha, ulta kyu so raha hai?' Ulta so raha hai Bole 'Bhai main aise gira ya aise gira?' Bola 'Tu so ja main video banata hu' Isne video banaya Video banake ladki ko bheja Ladki pareshaan ho gayi. Usne dekha
ki yeh toh apni building ki parking hai Parking main koi aata jaata bhi
nahi hai. Toh bhaag ke niche aayi Boli 'Owais kya ho
gaya tereko.... Colgate...' Mustafa bola maine uske muh main
Colgate daala hai zeher ke vaaste Ladki ne maan li Yeh building se mereko yaad aaya bh****** joke Regret nahi hona chahiye tum log
ko free main show dekhne aane ka Main jab solo show karu na tab aana Accha acche joke sunaunga Yeh sab toh aise hi Yeh aise ch***** bacche
log ko dekhke yaad aata hai Toh main aise hi Juhu ja raha tha theek hai Car main Juhu ja raha tha.
Bahot time pehele ki baat hai Toh mujhe nakabandi main police ne roka Aur mereko bolta hai, woh jo
woh rehta hai na, aisa usme Sharab piya rahega toh pata chal jaata hai Blower Ladkiyon ko bada pata hai Toh usne woh aise diya Ab mereko pata nahi. Main
nakabandi main kabhi pakda nahi gaya Stage pe yes. Nakabandi main nahi Toh usne aise rakha Main aisa bahar nikala muh aur bola Munawar Faruqui Bole 'Ch***** sunta nahi hai yeh' 'Ispe phoonk maarna rehta hai aisa' Aur woh ho gaya Woh piya hua tha Bole 'Tune piya hai' Main bola 'Aapne phoonk maara' Bole 'Bahar nikal' Toh ab meri girlfriend bhi baithi hai Ex-girlfriend * Nasseb accha hai toh bhi * Pen Meri ex-girlfriend. Toh
pehele toh maine pucha ki, 'Sir aise mat karo main sharab
pita hi nahi, main Musalmaan hu' Bole 'Tu Musalmaan hai,
ab toh dickie check karunga' Mereko bole 'Bahar nikal' main bahar nikala Ab meri woh ex-girlfriend hai woh boli 'Oh
sir aise kya kar rahe ho main bhi Muslim hu' Bole 'Woh golden baal dekh ke samajh gaya main' Yeh sab aise hi bh****** rough joke hai Tum log aise serious mat lena Ha matlab serious kyu hi loge Toh abhi aur baat karte
hai logo se. Bhai ter naam? * Sahil * Tere T-shirt pe kya likha hai? Kill them BJP merchandise hai kya? Kya likha hai padh na Kill them with your success * Bury them with your smile * Ohh mera merchandise hai Nice nice. Aur tere saath? Kaun hai yeh?
* Dost hai * Kya naam hai tera?
* Soham * Kya karte ho tum dono? Saath main nahi Padhai? Second year. Kaunsi college?
* NMIMS * Yaha se yeh do ladkiyo ka oh nikala hai Aur bag main ganja toh rahega hi * Ek hi packet hai * Ek hi packet hai Abey woh Parle-G hai Ganja marega. Kill them Chashma pehen ke aadmi
bole 'Ganja maarunga' Abey dhund pad jayegi. Banda blur ho jayega Aur bhai aap? Kya naam hai aapka?
* Samar * Samar aur aapka? Winter Sorry sorry sorry Really sorry Bhai aapka naam bata do
* Tahir * Tahir. Samar aur Tahir Dost ho bhai ho?
* Bhai * Tum log ne gale main kya bandha hai yeh? * Mask hai * Mask hai matlab woh kapda wala Tum log dude log ho ekdum Main tumhari bike guess kar sakta hu Tum log bike pe aaye? Bike pe aaye main guess karu? Unicorn ya toh Bullet Kaunsi hai? * Apache * Apache Oho full mawali matlab Thoda mereko laga tha ki yaar Main ja raha tha Pulsar pe Main Pulsar pe ja hi raha tha,
main bola nahi yaar beizzati ho jayegi Khud hi bola 'Bhai beizzat Apache' Abhi woh bol dega Kurla
rehta hu mazza hi aa jayega Bhai kaha rehte ho? * Pali * Huh?
* Pali * Pali
* Bandra * Oh nice. Matlab maalik ka ghar udhar hai Nahi nahi. Thank you so
much for coming bhai. Love you Aise hi main mazak karta hu Mereko uthake chale jaate hai show se yaar
