Spoon Goon | Brilliant Idiots with Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz

yep charlemagne got andrew schultz we are the brilliant idiots podcast back for another week of brilliant idiot-ness shows what's happening helen bro how are you i'm blessed black and highly favored man man um wax is here let's get right to it uh what did you see this week's shows that made you say positively brilliant what a [ __ ] idiot i'm gonna tell you the what i saw was brilliant was a comment on youtube where somebody said um charlemagne asked shows that question every week and shows acts like show show tax like you don't know she was like positively brand i don't know that's a good question he don't know i'm going to ask you know you know you know it's absolutely true is every week i tell myself after we record yo next week i'm gonna have something for positively brilliant and then then brilliant comes around i'm like taylor when we ask her to do her job bro i'm stalling excuse me i'm doing absolutely nothing so honestly what is positively brilliant this week i got nothing for you bro i'ma tell you what i saw i don't know if it's positively brand i don't know where this lands but i thought it was hilarious i still think it's because it's happening right now tick-tock trying to cancel eminem i think it's funny as [ __ ] when kids go back to errors that they they shouldn't even be playing around in that box don't get it get out of there if you was talking to a child you'd be like yo don't go in that 90s box show what happened they're just playing old m m lyrics and doing what outrage culture does trying to build a case against eminem but i'm gonna tell you why that will never work that's eminem's whole stick yeah it's tricky man because if you go back and listen to some eminem songs or even like some skits or they wow boy brilliant idiots old bernice had nothing on old m eminem was one of the wildest people in history bro eminem is the reason that we thought we could get away with that type of [ __ ] blame it on him for real no because think about it in the area we grew up when there's a bar yeah right like there's a bar in the area that we grew up in so if you're growing up in entertainment you're a performer you're a rapper comedian radio personality what it is if your bars are the the howard stearns and the the stars and the m m's and wendy went all these people that you you hear them saying this wild [ __ ] what are you supposed to do yeah yeah even biggie lyrics yeah it is oh come on it is crazy it's it's absolutely crazy i mean it's crazy it's crazy but the funny part is just listening to kids be upset you're not gonna build a case against eminem you know why because all the people who have the power i guess to cancel whatever the [ __ ] that means they grew up loving eminem too man was one of the biggest stars in the world at one point the biggest star my name is that song was [ __ ] yes he was everybody's guilty pleasure yeah i never was a fan i never was like i respected him as a lyricist but i never was a a die-hard eminem fan but he has a lot of die hard fans i was a fan bro really i felt heard really yeah why i heard he didn't relate i mean he was a white dude from the midwest yeah you could relate to him how did you relate to him as a white new york at the time i would say more liberal right not saying you're conservative now i'm just saying you had a lot more liberal values back then i would think i don't think my values have changed at all really yeah not in the least what's changed what values i don't know i mean that's a good point because i know for a fact i got more conservative values just because i'm from the south there's things that i like that i know lean a little bit more a little a little bit more conservative i was teasing about feeling hurt from eminem i just thought he was a wild [ __ ] boy but uh in terms of values yeah none of my values have changed at all it's just what has become important parts of like national discourse has changed so and what's crazy is we should be able to have a conversation about that without it being an issue is this you don't think sometimes crips see something really nice and red and they go that'd be cool like i like those you gucci you don't think a [ __ ] sees a dope versace shirt that might got some red in it and he's like all right you know i'm blue mostly but sometimes i like [ __ ] with the red yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean to that point though it's just as you get older it's just about what you pick and choose to give energy to that's all i guess my point with the whole thing about like how you identify politically is like it's so stupid to think that you believe only the things that your party believes like if you're a reasonable that's why i don't like the term centrist right because i'm not i don't i'm not in the center i am left with these things right with these things you know what i'm saying and then my overall probably is in the center if you average it all out but i don't hear every issue and go yeah both sides make sense but i think that's what makes you a citrus though right because you're not on either side i think when they mean centered it's like you are in the middle like you could go either way the pro the problem with the left and right thing is people on the left refuse to hear what the right is saying people on the right refuse to hear what the left is saying i think the middle the center is the best place to be because you got both ears open yeah but it's also [ __ ] because it's like you don't have a a stance on it so it's like i have a strong stance on all these different issues sometimes my stance is left sometimes my stance is right i have a strong stance that doesn't mean that i'm not willing to listen to your stance that's right and i'm not willing to listen to your stances left as well but i still feel certain ways about things you know what i mean this idea that these people like are just in the middle and they don't sway in either way i don't think that's a lie come on bro come on i i i think that's actually the best place to be because once again like you know the 48 laws of power always says you know do not do not commit to anyone it was like fools rush to pick sides you know what i mean and to me it's not about a side it's just simply about what i personally believe is right or wrong in that situation a lot of times it's due to my own self-interest other times it's due to how can this benefit the whole of us if i hear an idea that i may not necessarily agree with but i know that it's gonna benefit a mass majority of people i'm probably gonna ride with the idea that benefits the mass majority of people right and i think the middle most of the time is the best place to be that's the whole problem with the world right now though right because everything's not right or wrong everything's not good or bad right everything's not republican democrat some things are just in that gray area that's in that middle and if you open your if you keep your mind open and be objective man you can really learn from every [ __ ] body you got people yes and everything so 100 are there yes there's tons in the gray um i i did a whole special for netflix about the gray and young people are reasonable and 100 i just don't like the idea of a centrist because i think it like it neuters you by its definition you can be like there's that chris rock joke like he's like i'm conservative about this thing i'm liberal about that thing remember that joke when it comes to prostitution liberal when it comes to what was the other one uh i forgot what it was i forgot i forgot what the other one was i don't remember what the other one was but it's just like what are you then by the way do you have to be anything you don't and that's the problem now it's like you can't even agree like if the president says vanilla ice cream's delicious and you go nah no trump is right about that it's like oh this guy out here supporting trump like sometimes he's gonna say some things you agree with yeah sometimes if some things are funny sometimes your worst enemy is gonna have something in common with you and you agreeing with them on that thing doesn't mean you endorse everything they say yeah we just got to stop saying stupid [ __ ] like a broken clock is right twice a day that's literally one of the dumbest things in the world to say when it comes to people's ideas right because no [ __ ] broken clock's not right twice a day a broken clock is just broke it's just broke you know what i'm saying like that to me when you got a broke clock if you got a broke clock on the wall right and it's just sitting there you probably can't afford a new one so you're just trying to make the best out of a bad situation well it's 6 30 in the morning well it's 6 30 at night but if that's the only time you look at that clock you're right you're right but it's still [ __ ] the clock is still broken i hear what you're saying you need a whole new clock that's all i'm saying everybody's ideas aren't great because some people because think about it the bro clocks only write twice a day what about the other 22 [ __ ] hours is that what you really want pros and cons and things though that's the pros and cons i would rather 50 50 as opposed to 22.80 whatever the [ __ ] that is 20 80. you know what i mean like i i got if i if i'm dealing with you on any level other than business because i'll take 20 of a billion dollar company all day long but other than anything else it's like it got to be a 50 50. if not it's like what are we doing yeah that's all i'm saying like it's cause you got two good ideas don't mean you're a genius yeah yeah the rest of your [ __ ] might be disruptive as [ __ ] the rest of your [ __ ] might cause the [ __ ] like right into the world you're like robbing the bank yeah we're gonna get money you're gonna look good after but what you gotta do together we rob the [ __ ] bang that's so that's so interesting though because like if you hit if you bat 300 in baseball you're an all-star and you're gonna go to the hall of fame that means you just the clock was right three times a day out of how much though how many times how many bats do you get a game you're saying oh yeah or throughout the season how many outbacks did you get well it you're you're basically hitting and getting on base thirty percent three out of every ten if you get on base three out of every ten you're a genius so what is the level what is the level for genius bro what are you saying three out of ten is [ __ ] i could do better and that's crazy in basketball that shitty as [ __ ] that's you're out the league you have to leave for three out of 10. something's not even a d league exactly so it really depends when it comes to like genius there are certain things that we tolerate more failure and certain things we tolerate almost none um you know in order to be a genius free throw shooter you gotta shoot nine out of ten nine out of ten got to go in in order to be a genius investor you probably gotta get one out of ten in order to be a genius tv producer you probably need one out of 10. yeah yeah that is true all right yeah that's true especially with the investments in the tv because i mean [ __ ] nobody even notices your failures if you get one seinfeld bro yeah nobody notices anything else you do if you were the guy that created apple you know what i mean like if when you create something that changes the world nobody gives a [ __ ] about what you do afterwards which is a gift and a curse right because you set a bar too high for yourself i was talking about that this morning with matthew knowles saying he wants to leave the music industry who's like when you give the world destiny's child and beyonce comes from that if you don't get another destiny's child of beyonce what else is there to do get out the way who's matthew knowles beyonce's daddy oh yeah was he was he still trying to make music i guess i guess he still had artists and stuff like that but guess what nobody cared because they have to be on that level they have to be on the caliber of a destiny's child one of the biggest r b groups of all time one of the biggest girl groups of all time period they got to be on the level of a beyonce it's just like i'm sure joe jackson probably tried to do music after the jackson five wasted time who gave a [ __ ] you don't water yourself yeah yeah i mean he tried that's what i think floyd doing right now we're trying to fight this guy he about to water himself down that dude won't whip his ass bro whoo floyd gonna get his ass what but i do what dude floyd before he supposed to be fighting somebody yeah logan paul jake hi different weight class like i said man stop all right i would love to see that stop i'm just saying you gotta be easy you think logan paul is gonna beat floyd maybe if he do he water himself down get out the way is this one of them times we just creating content for the podcast really serious like you're really saying andrew do you think that this guy i think he i think he hit harder than floyd i don't deploy never knocked anybody out he's not going to touch it exactly if he do i think he's going to hit him hard i think floyd not used to getting hurt i'm hit first off and floyd never knocked anybody out that i seen that he actually put him out boys knocked out people i didn't see him like that yeah he's knocked out people i see a lot of tapping at least he went with points i liked the roy game because he he know how to he know how to box he got the skill of boxing down but fighting somebody who's a dog who want to come [ __ ] you up i think you i think you put yourself in something bro you know why nobody ever hit floyd i understand it's hard to hit this guy but if he get hit up and do put in a bad situation i think he's going to win do you think he will though that's the point i think floyd moves because of different clients i know logan okay okay i'm not saying he's a close friend but he's a colleague you've been on his podcast he watched the super bowl at my house out here in miami we do each other's podcast he's a very sweet guy i've told him to his face that floyd mayweather is going to demolish him okay listen that's cool what is what is floyd the best at what is he known as the best fan out the way greatest defensive fighter of all time i think if i shoot that floyd once he could move out the way at least one bullet at least one bullet now at least one what do you think that logan has offensively that floyd hasn't seen from the best fighters in his in the world weight class wax that makes him slower no that don't make that more power and if he can if he gets you in a situation he's going to be in trouble he's way slower than floyd floyd's conditioning is still better let's see that make sure we are watching this fight i would love to see so floyd mayweather fought floyd mayweather fought uh a guy named canelo alvarez made him embarrassed him embarrassed canelo cano arrows could not touch him and canelo touch him is super fast has great head moving canelo alvarez is fighting guys right now that weigh 168 pounds that means they probably walk around around 190 pounds okay logan paul probably weighs 190 something like that maybe a little bit more but he's muscular away by the way that night that night of canelo uh mayweather they said canelo he weighed in at like 160 something but they said on fight night seven might have been like 180. yeah he can say he might have been like 180 185 floyd when i and by the way canelo's the best pound for pound box in boxing right now floyd way when i know right now how much floyd or are you going i bet you right now floyd's walking around at 153 or something i doubt that much 49 i doubt that much for 149 but still around that area we're talking about around his fighting weight okay yo he made when i say he embarrassed canelo so bad and this was floyd was old canelo was super young like early 20s he made canelo miss so bad one time that canelo hit the top rope i remember that listen i'm not taking nothing from floyd i'm just saying stay in your weight class you'll stay there you'll be okay just like just like robinson he [ __ ] this whole [ __ ] up you're comparing floyd mayweather to nate robinson i'm just saying i'm just saying about [ __ ] your whole [ __ ] up because you're talking about the nose guy you're comparing floyd mayweather to nate robinson i'm not we really talking about those nate floyd mayweather in his sleep in his sleep could dodge a punch i'm talking about you could walk in floyd's room and go boom and swing he'd move out the way i get what you're saying but ain't we talking about the guy knows and he over here doing he's trying to do something else so i'm talking about robinson he shouldn't have went boxing he was dunking on people yeah that whose wax must be some good [ __ ] that who's wack weed must be some good this is amazing i have not heard i have not when i say i have not heard one person i'm talking about one human being on this planet say logan paul is going to beat floyd mayweather mike tyson told logan paul you don't stand a [ __ ] chance boxing is a science it is it is it's just a different wax it's like it's all about angles and stuff who gets you there better black go ahead logan paul doesn't even believe that he's going to beat floyd it's a payday it's a payday you're the only person logan paul is going to be huffing and puffing by the third fourth round and by the way he's not gonna touch him for the third or fourth the first three four rounds i'd love to see this by the fourth round he's gonna be huffing and puffing and you're gonna see floyd picking this man apart badly exactly floyd don't even gotta hit hard it's just gonna be the repetition of pap pap pop pop are you talking about cause he's older now no it's not that he's older at all i'm looking at weight class i seen some dudes who could [ __ ] do karate who like yo he gonna whip his ass and the other dude was just bigger and them little shits ain't [ __ ] work he knocked his ass the [ __ ] out go to sleep [ __ ] go to sleep go to sleep i let him sleep how much does logan weigh probably 200 oh my god he's gonna get hurt but here's the thing i'm talking through experience but he weighs 200 but he's bulked up to 200. he's not lean 200. oh my god he's gonna get hurt he's putting on weight to be muscular at 200 pounds if he was a pure boxer he'd probably walk he'd probably fight at 175 if he was gonna be like a pure boxer he's my height he's about six two and how many um how many fights has he had two yeah i think two two fights listen i'm listening with you are you serious that's the [ __ ] i will be honest with you though i will be honest with you though i've heard from people that his brother jake could fight for real and i've heard from people i respect guys who are inboxes we've seen jake yeah but we saw him fight against nate robinson they obviously can't fight for [ __ ] but i've heard from dudes that are like in the gym like seeing him spar like work with him they say that they're like yeah right no that's logan logan his brother listen jake is probably a good amateur fighter but i saw him on worldstar yesterday you know trying to call out canalo alvarez it's like relax buddy like relax real talk jake is saving boxing no [ __ ] i mean there's a hundred percent without jake creating all this controversy in boxing who the [ __ ] will we care about in terms of boxing well the reason i can't give him that yet is because yeah therefore no boxers you know what i mean like like like i got to see jake fight a boxer weight class and i got to see because the only interest i see him generating from other boxing fans is the fact that he's a cocky kid who people want to see him get [ __ ] up which is always the thing reminds me reminds me of somebody else who did pretty well in boxing floyd money mayweather there we go floyd money mayweather was for money mayweather did that after he got to a certain point and he was really good really skilled he had beat a bunch of boxes bernard hopkins played the villain his whole career i'm not saying that jake is as good as these professional boxers obviously professional boxers are going to whoop his ass but he's undeniably creating interest in a sport that was devoid of interest the only interesting people that were in boxing were tyson fury and deontay wilder deontay wilder i think god concussed to the point where he don't even remember history correctly and tyson fury is just fighting english dudes in england like nobody else is holding up the boxing game manny pacquiao is still giggling you don't know what the [ __ ] this guy's saying you know what i mean what's his face oscar de la hoya that girl you were talking about earlier oh there was times there was times um there was a time when boxing was the biggest sport in america right yeah but i think around the 80s 90s 2000s for the most part except for like one fighter which is probably mike tyson boxing was for the casual fan i mean for the for the die-hards it wasn't for the casual fans nah we were dude the oscar de la hoya era of boxing was massive the floyd mayweather era boxing was massive like there were boys and casuals i don't think they'll all you bought in casual everybody who did oh de la hoya was the first to bring in the casuals he had the biggest pay-per-view numbers in history yeah and he was the first one not the first but one of the first to bring in women women saw him he was a good-looking guy and they were [ __ ] crazy they pull up to the fights but you also got to remember once boxing started doing them 24 7 documentaries that changed the game because it was like looking at reality reality shows but we didn't watch all of them we watched you watch mayweather's watching i'm watching now but i'm a boxing guy i love boxing so i watch all that [ __ ] i'm just saying like the sport was popping and then the the you know the financial return was huge like these boxers were making tons of [ __ ] money and uh they're still hard oh yeah we lost the we lost the personalities man once the personalities go i mean canelo could be the most entertaining person in the world we just can't understand the [ __ ] he's saying oh yeah yeah he's like the ultimate warrior he's like bill goldberg or the ultimate warrior even though he's spanish so we don't understand him but he still has like that that duh personality you know what i'm saying now i'm not gonna lie when when they translate his [ __ ] his [ __ ] sound fight sounds fire right sounds fire like the [ __ ] he said about jake paul yesterday i don't know if he really said it but he said they did the [ __ ] he said was like yo he's i don't respect him he's a sucker he's ruining the sport yadda yadda yadda i'm like oh yeah you say he went you say he helping this sport i think he's just [ __ ] it up i think somebody needs to go in there [ __ ] him up and sit his ass down well the fact that we're talking about boxing right now which we rarely do outside of where you always talk about boxing no that's got to be a mayweather fight it's got to be a tyson fury fight next lewis yeah it's got to be big lennox lewis bro linux lewis hasn't fought since way before we even started podcasting who was wax bro that hurt wax weed bro i'm telling you you know wax me on youtube watching them old fights and thinking these people still fighting now i'm telling you instagram got all that [ __ ] man i'm telling you you think they still fighting right [ __ ] now that [ __ ] was crazy to your point adrian broner won a fight recently and adrian broner was a great [ __ ] talker but adrian broner couldn't back it up so the problem with guys like jake paul is once you get your ass handed to you once nobody wants to hear that [ __ ] no more and that's the that's the thing about i i don't know bro what i i literally what i told what i told jake was this i said listen you are gonna get one fight against a legit guy and that's the fight you need to cash in you know what i'm saying it's like don't take the fight with the real boxer until you're willing to lose the fight because everybody thinks i'm saying like everything right now is building up to that time where you actually fight conor mcgregor you fight floyd you fight someone who is gonna beat you but in the meantime you gotta specifically select people who are famous enough for you to generate interest but not good enough at boxing where you can knock their asses the [ __ ] out by the way if i was jake that's all i would do show i'd be trying to create my own league yeah forget fighting the real fighters i'll be calling out rappers basketball athletes all that [ __ ] and i would be [ __ ] with their egos i'll be calling them old you know i mean i might even throw a little little racism in it you know what i'm saying but not racism on some like [ __ ] you black people but like yo y'all just mad that you know a white boy is out here dominating you know what i'm saying you afraid to get beat up by a white boy i'm serious it's gonna be about white boy that's what robertson can't be with his family right now you know you get beat up in front of your girl yo that's something very important i know you might think robinson because he said they got beat up in front of his girl you know yo we ain't seen nate for real nate have nate even been on instagram yeah nate is gone bro yo he's gone he got beat up in front of this girl that's just [ __ ] up man that's just talking about that he's dunking on people man that's one of them [ __ ] he he smoked your cousin right in front of you you ain't go do [ __ ] like i'm not gonna lie like i thought i thought that tupac went too far when he gave uh would he would he would harris that bag and above the rim to go shoot after he lost that game but man if there was ever a time to shoot up a goddamn arrest his wife should have had a acceptance she should have put a [ __ ] smoke bomb or something in that [ __ ] man nate damn this man after and then after that i never [Laughter] god did have a plan yeah but jake paul it was a plan for jake not a plan for nate by the way that's what you and when i google him that's all that comes out i know man and i think we talked about that on the podcast if i was nate's homie if i was in nate's corner i would have told nate don't take that fight you can't and nate why are we jumping him we jumping him if i'm on your corner you had to fight this [ __ ] and i'm be jumping this [ __ ] i would i would have told nate not to take the fight for the same reason we know floyd mayweather is going to beat up on logan paul jake paul just has more experience in that goddamn ring yeah jake paul is have been in the gym more jake paul has more experience with fights nate coming fresh off the basketball pool putting on some gloves come on bro you know what's tricky though for logan though with logan fighting uh floyd is that logan is really likable and like he plays the good guy very well whereas jake is does not care if people hate him he does not care he actually enjoys trolling and that's what you need to be in order to fight these guys and generate real revenue he's got to lean into being a villain and he's totally fine with that [ __ ] yeah but he got a win bro he got tight if he loses one fight all of that [ __ ] is over yeah he's gonna be like oh boy what's his name you just said adrian brown andrew broner he [ __ ] he's the one who [ __ ] boxing up yo honestly he could have been a big ass star he could have been everybody could watch him even though he's a bad guy but once you got once you lost ain't nobody like man looking at yourself i see what y'all saying but i love boxing i think boxing is great boxing too man name five boxers that are boxing right now javonte davis tyson fury canelo alvarez terence crawford earl spencer sean porter first of all keith thurman what i said earl spencer i always say that keith thurman leroy davella what man anthony joshua [ __ ] some good fights man joshua i forgot about him uh uh the dude lopez like tito lopez lopez is a beast tia female whatever yeah all right tio fema lopez is a [ __ ] beast i was watching a good ass lightweight fight um the night of broner that fight was way better than the broner fight the dude uh valdez it was valdez versus um i forgot it was a lightweight fight but they was banging yeah i like but i'm a boxing guy i like boxing i like boxing too i love boxing too but i recognize what boxing needs for the casuals and that is people who understand social media and know how to talk that [ __ ] and generate interest in a fight mma the guys in the ufc are brilliant at this they talk [ __ ] to each other on each other's profiles they go comment on each other's [ __ ] they really generate the interest they promote their own fight to the point where the ufc goes i guess we gotta make them fight they are yeah it's really great to see what they're doing because their future is in their hands to a certain extent and the ufc rewards those fighters didn't know how to generate interest because they know that that's the eyeballs boxers are doing that javonte davis ryan garcia devin haney and they do it the new school way they be on twitter talking [ __ ] good i'll [ __ ] your girl i'll do this i do that you want to see them get down with each other you want them to be like hogan and them back in the day easy yo if you say you're going to [ __ ] someone's girl and then you knock them out what happens here you got it if you got a [ __ ] she gotta give you some [ __ ] lord have mercy but you know what i mean lord have mercy me two times up movement correct quick no not that she has to nothing nothing yeah different it's different correction is great just like if you beat somebody up in front of that girl she could kind of leave with you like she don't want to be with you no more yeah that [ __ ] is [ __ ] up man i'm just saying like that's a crazy thing like if you if you say that to somebody i'm a [ __ ] girl and then you beat someone up then you look at them like what are they what do they say back to you they no if i'm a guy i'm gonna tell the other guy if you beat me i'ma [ __ ] you why whoa for no reason no you're gonna be asleep yeah yeah yeah but then the dude will want to lose the dude won't try to beat you yeah he will he'll put you to sleep kill you no yeah yeah he's gonna put you asleep so you never got to think like that if you put me to sleep i'ma [ __ ] you when come on now exactly wait are you gonna [ __ ] me you sleep [ __ ] listen you just put you around your sleep you don't think i put you in a weird position though no if you ready to knock this dude out and do like if you knock me out i'ma [ __ ] you it might make me pause long enough all you gotta do is start getting naked it might make me pause long enough for for you to like knock me out or for you to run away like if you said that to me as we square up if you're like if you're like ah [ __ ] yeah yeah hit me once i'ma [ __ ] you if you said that i'd be like wait what what yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm like what does that even mean keep that [ __ ] up keep that [ __ ] up i'ma crack your cheeks because think about it if i'm a guy listen if i'm a guy and i tell you if you if you knock me out i'ma [ __ ] you so if you come out all aggressive trying to knock me out you must want this dick and then you got to lean into it you got to be like you got to be like every time he pumps with a little jab you bet yeah keep flirting yeah you want this baby yeah you wanted oh i know you wanted to see you you're doing buttering me up you're buttering me up over here yes oh foreplay because after a while this dude that's hitting on you is like yo what's up with this dude that's a weird guy bro you got to be like rocky what do you think rocky kept telling mr t what's that bad you ain't bad you ain't nothing you ain't nothing by the way rocky road boxing if you wanna talk about what ruin boxing if you ever want to see some fights that ain't had no [ __ ] defense nobody fought like that yet nah never ever you'll get knocked down what type of jaw he got well he is he mexican mexican guy some strong he's italian bro he's italian bro italian and he you ain't bad you ain't bad you got to talk to these guys the same way rocky used to be talking to these dudes man yeah you knocked me out i'ma [ __ ] you you hit me bam oh you want this dick i knew you wanted it i knew you wanted it that's how rocky spoke you don't remember when he said that i never adrian i remember in rocky movies adrian bro and him running up the stairs yeah he was calling for adrian noticed that his girl had a male name adrian is a girl name don't do that adrian broner a lot of girls names huh i don't know i don't know rocky might be on to something rocky might be on something he might have gotten off he might he might have gotten off rocky was absolutely a masochist yeah come on he was absolutely a masochist the more pain you administered to him the more he liked it and the more excited he got rocky balboa was a masochist i remember this oh my god bro remember when uh his coach cut his [ __ ] eye open and then he started fighting well yes man cause he couldn't see he loves the pain no rocky like pain rocky loved it and his coach he would give his coach a goddamn aneurysm coach said move your head rock move your head no that's why i like it i like it in mind not only did rocky like physical pain he liked emotional and mental pain because anytime rocky was traumatized he became a better individual he went in the freezer and we've seen blood when he was hitting the meat huh are you hitting the meat yo why do you think he was hitting the meat though to see the blood come out nah bro he like he like beating that meat there's a lot of sexual innuendo in rocky dog it was just a sec freezer beat the meat i know like he had access to a full boxing gym with all the equipment that he needed but no he wanted to go beat that meat and he wasn't being his me he was beating other people's meat a lot of meat that's a big meat too no seriously thinking when you think about rocky it re trauma is what fueled rocky literally because when mickey died that trauma of mickey dying yeah he lost the first fight but then he made him a better fighter right like oh [ __ ] i got to do this mickey when apollo died trauma he wouldn't go fought the [ __ ] russian when he went broke you know what i mean his ego was crushed over uh the little young guy tommy morrison you know what i mean trauma he was broke ego was broken trauma is what made uh rocky who he was and his girl name is adrian i don't know what that is i don't either bro wax wax where are you going with that you just you just wanna say he said no yeah i went with my girl named adrian huh all right yeah i won what's up why wouldn't you want your girl name to be adrian i don't know his girl name's adrian wax is like one of those like like like prehistoric like homophobia type guys wow you know what i'm saying how's you want some water why are you offering me water yo yeah i i heard wax doesn't even eat charleston chews you think that there's two uh [Laughter] yeah listen all that i don't do is use pla silverware because of things i used to do other than that i don't give a [ __ ] about no other gay [ __ ] but then but once again think about that if you taking silverware and rubbing it on your genitals and rubbing the butter knife in your ass it never happened and then it never happened and then serving it at the restaurant so other dudes is using the butter knife you can't even do that all these men know how your your dick tastes right they basically ate your ass you had they just eat your ass you guys eat your ass and that wasn't going to make it and i only did that because my mom made me work there and i had to work in the kitchen and i had to sit there and wash dishes well that's a traumatic thing to go i was trying to get that's super i was trying to get a fire to have your mom you know force other men to eat your ass when you had a traumatic thing bruh that's wow that's i never did that i'm telling you that's why i want wax to go to therapy so bad you need to go to the therapy wax he does man it's just so from being molested to you know the stuff with the knife and all that like yeah bro let's just talk about it let's talk about what it is you had knives in your colon no it wasn't not he's just corrected us it was spoons you can't eat [ __ ] you can't eat ass with a knife come on you can only spray ass with a i was only there for like a week and a half how many guys ate your ass indirectly in a week and a half was it a busy restaurant was it a diet it was a dining jersey right it was a diner oh yeah yeah yeah they worked there had to be and the only job they had to sweet floors and do dishes i'm like yo come on huh and i tried to get fired i tried to do a bunch of stuff i was dropping food i was like that's where you go to to get fired you just go straight to rubbing it on your ass no i mean i day three or four i was like i gotta do something i just seen some forks and stuff i come right out the thing put on my balls and just somebody saw you doing people no i didn't get fired for that either i just stopped coming why would you get fired for something that nobody saw wax i don't know i just wanted to get out of there it's really close to get a job it's almost as if you did that in private because it's something you wanted to do for me you was whipping your balls that's like sack or die like you could have did jesus [ __ ] over his sack of diet [ __ ] like you just whipping your balls with the fork if i really need therapy that's probably why because i did that [ __ ] to myself like i [ __ ] myself up i would not go anywhere and eat [ __ ] silverware because i did that dumb [ __ ] so i [ __ ] traumatized myself man you did you traumatized yourself i did we got to get a therapist on the podcast i think we do have to have a therapist sit down with wax just for that right there anything else i'm kind of good at i don't smoke weed on sunday yeah i don't eat silverware that's it and look now he's pushing legal weed hey man still trying to get men to taste name the weed after himself he named the weed after himself it's called who's wax and it beats yo the crazy part is what i love i love hearing wax sell his products because he'd be like yo you need to taste this wax you know what i'm saying i ain't seen them say to no girls yet i've been seeing them say the dudes all the time like yo you want to taste this wax yo this wax is good joe you know what i mean yo hit that wax you know what i'm saying that wax to change your life basically there are men in this country that are not only putting wax in their mouth they're also putting in their throat is that true that's right that's right that's right that's right and loving loving it and wax i mean weed is an aphrodisiac in a lot of ways like be this kind of crazy no you shouldn't imagine being a guy sitting around smoking wax and you you know you start thinking about [ __ ] and you did get hard and you'll be like yo this wax yo this swag's got me feeling right so i wonder how many [ __ ] uh people i smoked before what you mean i hope there's all girls who made my plants cause i don't want to smoke nobody else i want to smoke a guy it's not called you named it who's wax i don't even know that [ __ ] what's that [ __ ] trust me there's somebody sitting around somebody's sitting around smoking that [ __ ] right now like i need to know who this wax is yo yeah you know i'm saying who is wax well if you get a spoon you might get a little closer no it's a full that's a full oh man i put a couple of spoons on my balls i wasn't there that long and i didn't do it every single day i was just like on some board [ __ ] i'd like to have to do mad dishes and i'm like that's going to do all these [ __ ] dishes i i just started putting all them into the trays and i was like [ __ ] couple of them getting on my balls man just because i wanted to leave it was really stupid and i traumatized myself now i'm getting punished for it so that just makes sense remember on training day when the guy was trying to get out of his case and so the guy reached in his pants in front of the whole courtroom pulled out peanut butter and licked his fingers this story would make total sense if people actually saw you putting the utensils on your balls being that nobody saw you you were doing that for your own pleasure bro you were doing that for your own freaky recreational purposes listen i used to i used to give people gum in school i used to put like gum on my balls and be like i used to go i all the dudes be in the back there smoking and i'm like yo come on the principal come in the prison put some gum in your mouth and give it to for no [ __ ] reason i'ma say the obvious can i state the obvious wax has a thing with guys indirectly tasting it no it's not it's something about that [ __ ] no it's not i've never done that nobody else we all did that who's all i hope nobody me and my boys did that dumb [ __ ] like we should probably wiping the floor just for dumb stupid ass [ __ ] we thought that was pranks i think you and your boy should have just kissed no it ain't i think that y'all know what [ __ ] me up what's that [ __ ] called uh what some dudes used to hit each other in the balls and the prank guys the white boy she's doing wild out jackass jackass [ __ ] me up man me and my boys used to always try to prank people we just sit in front of people's house like three o'clock in the morning call it house phone don't blame it on the white guys and whatever whatever you know whatever sexual desires y'all had there was no sexual don't blame it on jackass that was all black ass going on in goddamn lyndon new jersey okay that's what that was we just sit in front of people's house and be like they call the house folk because nobody nobody has cell phones and we used to be like your house on fire your house on fire just to see them run out now though not necessarily you know the middle of the night he probably got on this box this [ __ ] is wow like this is why you got this is why we have to be lgbtq friendly because people cannot be afraid to be themselves all i'm hearing is a lot of suppression that's what i hear i don't know what you're talking about no foreign everything you're saying sounds like you just wanted to get like that no man there's a bunch of people you have to admit wax if you heard another guy saying all this stuff you too would probably feel like what was the worst thing i said no what what you have been saying for the last half hour is basically you want ways where guys can consume your bottles yeah it wasn't guys like that you said it used to listen we didn't make it we didn't put any words in your mouth bro i feel so bad because i don't know who who had that spoon so it's like yo forget the spawn you said you used to rub gum on your balls and then run the fine dudes and wasn't trying to find dudes there's people who was smoking it could have been anybody smoking you see what i'm saying if you're smoking you know you're not going to be smoking in [ __ ] school so i'd like the principal come and put this in your mouth so he could [ __ ] i think i think wax is missing the point you rubbed the gum on your balls and then went to find dudes to choose the young you couldn't do anybody was smoking right you wanted your balls chewed on you should have just said something you could have said something to the guys a lot of those guys that you played football would probably already wanted to do it anyway they were just waiting like oh [ __ ] wow finally wow i'm sorry for having y'all do that well don't be sorry how do you know that they didn't know exactly what was going on like it's very true baby's probably taking advantage of you they're just hanging around like pretending to smoke going i think wax is gonna have some gum on them today here come waxed with the hubble bubble yeah that might have been your nickname around some of them they might have caught you bubble bubble it could be like here come hubble oh dude this story's gotten complete completely flipped bro kind of went too far the pranks definitely went too far i know y'all had some crazy ass pranks too no not like they were pranking you wax this whole time they were pranking you man that's right they knew exactly what was going on they they when hubba bubba come around you know hubble bubba passing out that gummy smells like his balls again and they all we know exactly where to go yeah they were waiting for you bro waiting on you and they would wait for you to go up the stairs so it's nice and sweaty they want you to work up a little lather they want a nice little lather they can get all that flavor for themselves bro it probably was guys waiting around after football practice like man i hope wax show dude got some of that gum it wasn't it was just people i don't even know what the [ __ ] they was it was [ __ ] up i was young dumb and [ __ ] pulling up with that goddamn wrigley's believe it or not [Laughter] it was the green pack what's the green pack wrinklies no no no it was wrigley's the green and white pack you used to always get the green one yeah that come in here yeah i thought it was called life nah nah i i i don't know jersey this is just i just want everybody to be free to be themselves yeah dude like if you want if you want your balls in a guy's mouth that's [ __ ] up man that wasn't cool man that doesn't make you gay bro that doesn't make you gay you're just a chef like there's a lot of different people [Laughter] there's a lot there's a lot of people out there that they want to put their creations in people's mouths and that's who all you are you're a [ __ ] sushi chef dude and you're the best piece of meat that you got is your own so you're finding ways where people could taste your meat there's something there like you wanted to really go into the culinary arts instead of football but it was something that that held you back yeah that that type of gum i never even um ate it oh and big red we used to always get the big red gum too so big red i'd never touch ever and in silverware i won't ever touch that [ __ ] yeah what if he had a light skinned dude his size and that used to do the same exact thing wax did rub the gum on his balls you want to taste some of this big red i'm serious this is sad man this is sad and i'm telling you this is how people come back to haunt you yeah yeah cause it's gonna be about four or five guys that wax went to school with who men to wax and say wax indirectly [Laughter] lick his balls and eat his ass wow they were nothing with the ass and i already apologized and back then i had to um i was going through something you know the mentality there you go now see there you go now we're getting to the root of this you got to be something wrong with you you're over here doing that dumb [ __ ] there's trauma there's a lot of trauma wax went through i just wanted people it was really i was wanting people i just wanted to laugh the other day was just funny yeah but you wanted to laugh because you was uh trying to laugh to hide the pain there was some pain going on this [ __ ] ain't normal bruh it's not normal i'm sure other people did a lot of dumb ass [ __ ] but that was like stupid as hell speaking of men touching you know other men's penises did you hear about the rapper the spanish rapper who convinced his friend who's a school teacher by the way an oxford educated school teacher told me pay him three thousand dollars that would be the maximum amount depending on how much youtube views they got if they did a social media stunt now the teacher three stacks the teacher wasn't sure he wanted to be a man right he was like i don't think i want to be a man i want to be a woman he let his boy who's the rapper do a homemade surgical reassignment surgery on him on youtube so this rapper takes a 12-inch knife cuts off his friend's penis they say he was friends they are friends they did it on purpose they had a plan together he was trying to help his spanish rapping friend go viral and he didn't know if he wanted to be a guy anymore they literally did it all for social media attention well yeah because i ain't got no friends i want to come hold on what is this holy [ __ ] when you don't think they go any further all for social media [ __ ] attention nothing more nothing less is the guy still alive yeah he's still alive what are you peeing at his pee probably backed up yo that is a good point where do they pee vp at what do you mean the piece still going to come out whether you got the penis or not it's the hole still there that much 12 inch kitchen knife cut off his fringe penis a spanish rapper all because he just wanted to go viral because he wanted social media [ __ ] attention now if if the spanish rapper had did that to his homeboy who's not so bright if he had did that to his homeboy who you know probably does a lot of drugs and don't know no better but the fact he did that to his homeboy who's a oxford educated teacher and the fact that teacher went along with this [ __ ] that's the problem he's a teacher come on in the streets do it in the streets no not to get his penis cut off the oxford guy who read books all day and get no [ __ ] so he like i don't need this [ __ ] i don't think you have to be in the streets to know your penis shouldn't be cut off i guess so i mean that is absolutely mind-boggling yeah but that's the world that we live in i'm saying all that to say these are the people that folks seek validation from on social media like you have people who wake up every day and they go on social media and let social media think for them so it might be a topic right but instead of formulating their own opinion on the topic they go and they see what the popular opinion is and they let that popular opinion dictate what it is they think about a situation yeah these are the people these are the people on social media you're letting formulate your opinions these individuals but what if he took the cove and the covet vaccine and now he just did this like [ __ ] his ass up tonight you see if this guy who got his penis took him off he should see if he took the covet vaccine so listen right this guy hold up you got to pee after a story like that hold on a matter of fact you're trying to see if it [ __ ] there let's pay some bills give me the ad all right let's power this let's power this down and pay some bills okay uh blue chew right this episode is sponsored by by bluetooth say it with us blue chew okay blue chew is making waves and bringing more confidence to the bedroom by offering chewable tablets that can 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free meals including free shipping that's cold idiots 12 to get 12 free meals including free shipping with your first order from hellofresh.com hello fresh america's number one meal kit now let's get back to the show you got any church announcement shows yeah um we're going on tour man and uh just want to say thank you for selling out most of the shows i think we only have a couple cities left that haven't sold out yet but i'll be in salt lake city this weekend that's sold out then we got columbus sold out nashville sold out atlanta sold out raleigh sold out uh palm beach there's a few tickets left phoenix arizona a few tickets left and then tampa bay a few tickets left and then um we're gonna be announcing more cities later maybe in the next couple weeks but thank you guys so much man this has been just been awesome and it's so much fun to get back out there and do stand-up again bro i just it was you know what's so interesting um you know i watched uh i'm watching everything i guess get i don't want to say normal because what the [ __ ] is normal yeah right but you know you got the vaccine out there yeah people are getting the vaccine and they're saying by june we might be on the other side of this thing okay but it's just interesting to see people get back to normal and i'm wondering if florida and georgia were the guinea pigs definitely was texas too texas too i mean texas but texas is the first people to announce because contrary to popular belief georgia and florida still supposed to be in like stage two phase two it is reopening [ __ ] florida and texas weren't the guinea pigs they were the leaders the rest of the states are seeing all their people leave leave georgia is really out of control though at least like i'm i'm in florida and it's like yeah you got some things and downtown is like you know they go to their spots but florida i mean georgia's out of control atlanta's out of control you can't tell me that atlanta's worse than miami yes now atlanta's been on the low because we think part of this one was shut down miami wide open right now miami's been wide open miami it wasn't miami had a miami had a fight this weekend with fifteen thousand people nba night doing that [ __ ] damn right what atlanta about to do this weekend the all-star game with no with no fans soft how many people saw a lot of people going [ __ ] what have the all-star game with no fans they shouldn't even be having the game they're going to be able to they shouldn't i went to a miami heat game when there was only like 10 of the people in the stands that [ __ ] was so [ __ ] dumb it's absolutely idiotic they gotta cut down shut down every single game until you can bring all the people back in it's really not worth it i actually respect the fact that players can go out there and really just focus but i guess they've been like that because it's not like they're focusing on fans anyway when they're playing you know what i mean they're not stand-up comics bro it's not like they need the audience if anything's like they need the audience no you want the audience that's true listen my church announcements is simple uh salute to everybody that's listening to all the various podcasts on the black effect uh podcast network and uh make sure you pre-order tamika mallory's book state of emergency uh how to win in the country we built it'll be out may 11th on black privilege simon shoes to publishing and make sure you pick up anita kopack's shallow waters okay which will be out august 3rd via black privilege uh simon and schuster publishing you know anita had hit um number one on the uh amazon adult i think it's a young young adult fiction fantasy fantasy uh fantasy charts because you know young adult fiction fantasy is a big genre that you know a lot of black people don't tap into so you know the fact that anita you know kopax is tapping into it with shallow waters and presenting this story of the african mermaid yimiya you know it's it's it's a it's a pretty big deal so yeah go pre-order those books um available wherever you buy books okay amazon barnes and nobles all that good stuff and i'm going to tell you something man this is my this is my only problem with america we know america is a business simple we know that america is a [ __ ] business it's not a goddamn country that [ __ ] shouldn't even say we the people that should say we the people we the [ __ ] people you know what i mean that's just to be freedom justice liberty for all you [ __ ] with money the rest of y'all just figure it out but texas and mississippi is so blatant with that [ __ ] and it's just like you can't even be mad because they like look the economy is suffering people need to open their businesses we need to get back to the money then you got to the director of the cdc saying like no let's not tell people to not wear masks even if you want to reopen the businesses and stuff like that still tell people to social this is but that's because she cares about actual health and she cares about people getting sick and she cares about people dying they're [ __ ] governors the governor of mississippi and governor of texas dollar dollar bills y'all that's what you miss her job her job is to care about the people dying his job is to care about the economy so but you know why it makes no sense shows why we say cash rules everything around me when the reality is it's the consumers that rule everything around me because the consumers have the cash if everybody's dead how i'm gonna give you these dead presidents everybody's not gonna die a lot of them will i mean of course everybody's not gonna die just the people that don't buy that much [ __ ] [Laughter] you know trust me if 70 year olds or 80 year olds and 90 year olds were buying all the [ __ ] we'd definitely be a little bit more cautious with reopening the country but that eighteen to forty dollars with the disposable income i'm saying they could dispose of corona like all people don't have this multiple income they're just disposable no they ordering a lot nah tell them stay inside nah that's [ __ ] up i get what you're saying though but it's just inside though it's like let's not let's not be so blatant about it can we can we at least can we i miss when politicians at least fronted like they gave a [ __ ] about people i love that [ __ ] i love that guy that guy's brilliant which one yo wheels bro that's what they call him who who is the governor of texas he's in a wheelchair they call him wheels no he's in a wheelchair yeah i didn't know he was in a wheelchair you thought he was always just sitting down during his press conference i never paid no attention yeah wheels bro wheels don't play games bro wow watch you gonna see he's gonna roll for president he's gonna roll for president he rolled to the polls i had no idea he was in a goddamn wheelchair oh he's gonna win everything he can't pity for everything well i'm gonna be honest with you i don't like the way he rolls man i don't like the fact that he [ __ ] reopened the country i love it i don't like that [ __ ] sometimes you gotta roll the dice bro that's what this [ __ ] is about yeah but you know man you can't you can't you can't roll the dice on people's lives bro you're doing it by keeping the restaurants closed you're doing it by keeping all the businesses closed like old people that are retired can stay inside way easier than young people who have a business or young people that need to go to work like it's it's so much easier to quarantine and then vaccinate the old people in society than it is to shut down all of society make them lose their businesses make them lose their jobs make them lose whatever the [ __ ] they're working on old people are going to be at home anyway they old yeah yeah either one listen i you know i know everybody in life has a role to play but i don't like the role that the governor of texas is playing right now bro you know what i mean because that's really like on some villainous [ __ ] right you know what i'm saying like it might be like him what do you mean because he [ __ ] up so he won't everybody [ __ ] that widow huh you know when people [ __ ] up it's like they don't care what happened to the other person because i'm having a bad day you think so of course no i just think he gives a [ __ ] about the economy that's all you got to get that economy you got to get the economy rolling again you're not going to care yeah you got to get the economy rolling again look you're not going to care about just one thing right there's a whole bunch of ingredients in this casserole that we call a country definitely it's definitely a castle role it is casserole right and and we have to consider that the economy is one of those ingredients that's just one of those things you've got to be concerned about those people yeah i just think it's other ways to get the economy rolling you know what i'm saying you don't have to [ __ ] like just roll out a plan that's to reopen everything you know what i mean at 100 [ __ ] percent like no bro what do you want to do you want to go through this whole rigmarole where we're wearing masks and [ __ ] and we're locking down this and 25 percent dad and 50 percent this like what's the deal i'm not i'm not saying we got i'm not saying we got to lock it down right but i think we should treat it like parole you know what i mean like there's there's stipulations you know what i mean there's stipulations there's still some rules you have to follow when you're on parole yes you know what i mean a certain time of day that's all that's all that's all like you don't have to be all party like a rock star you know what i mean [ __ ] you don't always got to be [ __ ] rock and roll all the goddamn time it doesn't have to be rock and roll at the time but the the rolling stones are pretty old and they seem to be working out right they're supportive i'm just trying i'm just saying like there are ways where you can continue to live life we got the vaccine coming give the vaccine to all the old people and then let the young people get that covet yeah yeah yeah at least they work it maybe you should do it maybe maybe you should just do a roll call for all the young people that want the vaccine i think the roll call is a great idea roll call roll call is a really good idea i think i mean personally i think so i think so listen man i if if we can switch topics i'm i've i'm thinking about getting a rolls-royce bro i'm thinking about it bro i'm thinking about getting that rolls royce man let me tell you something there's this restaurant uh in in the town i live in now man and it's they sell roasted chicken in these [ __ ] garlic rolls oh my god my god when i tell you these garlic rolls are so [ __ ] incredible bro oh my god last time i had garlic rolls bro it was so heavy i couldn't even walk afterwards really i couldn't bro i cannot stand y'all you know what i love man i love watching basketball i love when a team passes like 10 times yeah and then somebody just ends in a dunk yeah i just love it man i just love ball movement ball movement is so [ __ ] good ball movement is good someone grab wax a spoon [Laughter] thank god we moved on i ran out of roll words bro i i i was running low yeah i was on the road for real i was about to do a little role reversal you know what i'm saying just [ __ ] if you had me with parole parole was good listen uh will smith considering running for political office wow wow i don't want it for white i don't want it people listen to him no i don't want it i don't want it no more celebrity in chiefs no more none of that [ __ ] yo if jada didn't [ __ ] around on him even better though they're more regular people than the regular people regular people don't want to do it but i think he ruined his chances by jada [ __ ] around on him bro yeah you can't you can't it's hard yeah yo she [ __ ] come up you can't be a politician whose wife is [ __ ] around on you you got to be the politician [ __ ] around on his wife wow you ain't got no control over your house yeah you want control out the window oh no i'm just saying that's what people would think what are you talking about you think that doesn't mean everyone else does well that's what people would think the reason why then why then why wouldn't they want to be on the uh women yeah why did it matter if she did then why why they what now all i'm saying is president united states is not a role i'd like to see will smith play that's that's true wholeheartedly i think he'd be cool no he won't man like listen everybody got to play their [ __ ] role when it comes to being president and everybody ain't built to be president we learned that the 2016 the [ __ ] 2020. well look look at the ball at he got [ __ ] president trump up there he broke that [ __ ] ball too too low now now it's the ball i know you're still thinking about putting that goddamn spoon but it's bar waxes lowered the bar balls same thing he lowered the bar okay and and by the way that shouldn't be your your your metric you know what i'm saying donald trump in the [ __ ] white house should not be what you determine whether or not you're gonna run i remember obama and [ __ ] trump and bush i don't know nobody else well you didn't pay attention and [ __ ] so you didn't have clinton oh [ __ ] he got hit plane got ahead i ain't know the [ __ ] he was doing in there yeah i don't know either y'all was too young y'all know the [ __ ] they was doing you know they don't y'all never knew what the [ __ ] the president was doing until until clinton got hit and then everybody started paying attention to the [ __ ] didn't pay attention to presidents at all i don't think anybody even knew we had a president before clinton got his dick sucked thank you that's not true well i want to i want to know who x thinks is on his money i want to know who's grandpa you told me you thought that was the owner of the jets you said it was the san diego padres i knew it was their presence because of their presence the movie but i never even thought about it when i was young i look at money as passes it's just a pass to get through the next door so you do know more presidents than the ones you name i still can't even tell you the [ __ ] they are and i look at the money i don't know who's on the hundred dollars people say it huh who's on the hundred dollar bill um benjamin right yup i don't [ __ ] know right all about the benjamins cause cause of that [ __ ] show if that wasn't all about the benjamins there was no show i would never even know that [ __ ] do you know what benjamin franklin did i have no idea what he did what did he do uh microwave or something nah he was the first person to work at a diner and rub um spoons on his balls he should actually be a hero to you he's your founding father actually yeah i i promise you i never even thought about that [ __ ] ever in my life they i never thought a president ever did anything for me so it was like all right get them to get enough passes to go to the next door to try to better yourself yo homie who's in here engineering for us today is so terrified right now like he's already he's over there like trying not to make eye contact with wax like he did once and then he turned his head so fast i never gave a [ __ ] about it the first person i gave a [ __ ] about was [ __ ] clinton because he gave head and then george bush because he did the [ __ ] um he got hit he did the towers obama black and trump wow who did the tower bush what do you mean he did them you think he he brought them down he was at that school for no reason sitting at that little ass chair he a president how the [ __ ] got that little ass chair he was doing a [ __ ] npr tiny desk performance bro that's why the death penalty like what are you talking about i just said a little bit stop spreading this misinformation everybody knows we all know why george bush was at the school he was performing this is crazy yo wax are you gonna get vaccinated hell no oh gosh i ain't take the list i don't take the [ __ ] flu shot i ain't getting vaccinated i'm trying to stay out the way i'm okay listen everybody else get it why the [ __ ] i need to get it does that mean i'm right i want everyone else to get it except me and now we're good that'll be good if your girl go to the [ __ ] doctor and go get her [ __ ] straight she said she good guess who else is good yeah yeah not but not if you're [ __ ] around on her i don't do that you used to that's back in the day wax is giving many a woman a yeast infection no i did not you're crazy there's no way in hell if you take a condom out of the ocean people said we just maybe she's lying somebody on somebody's on youtube said you know how you know these guys are wild they just mentioned that [ __ ] and kept it moving it was like any other podcast you listen to if somebody says they pulled a condom out of the ocean and used it that's the deep dive for out it's like those guys just breezed by that like it was nothing meant nothing like what happened i bet you didn't even clean out the condom i bet there was a [ __ ] octopus in there as well i don't know nothing listen did you hear about the uh the guy who got killed by a [ __ ] what man kill you what the [ __ ] you hear about the guy who got killed by a [ __ ] like a like a rooster yeah what do you think i was thinking talking about you sick [ __ ] i thought you were talking about a rooster but wait how did roosters kill they it was at a cockfight which by the way chickens have been doing a lot lately people ain't even paying attention they've been having these [ __ ] cockfights and these chickens have been flipping out on the people at the fights killing their owners and [ __ ] but how'd they kill eaten cause they have the knife on the [ __ ] foot they got the knife on that and these chickens is jumping up like this guy literally i'm not even making this up this guy got stabbed in the groin by the [ __ ] so he bled to death another dude got his throat slit by the [ __ ] chickens are fed the [ __ ] up the birds flew too huh what they had the bird flu oh chickens are fed the [ __ ] up bro that's all it boils down to chickens have had a [ __ ] nuff okay holy [ __ ] so they're actually killing the owners that are forcing them to fight well it's happened a few times this one was the most recent one that's why but it's hap it's happened a few [ __ ] times you got to respect chicken bro i'm saying this is gonna be nat turner of the poultry world you know i'm the fact that we don't think chickens are communicating is crazy because think about it if i'm a chicken and i'm about to get into a fight with another chick and i'm gonna have a conversation with the other chicken and be like bro what are we doing yeah we're gonna kill each other and still end up dinner let's flip on these [ __ ] yeah we're gonna get eaten regardless we're gonna die regardless let's not kill each other you don't think the chicken's exact you don't think the chickens is having communicating with each other no or he might he ran unfair or he must have ran in fear he knew the other chickens about to kick his ass he probably went to his owner and tried to jump up on him and probably slice his neck maybe maybe that could have happened to where'd you get this story um it was well i don't [ __ ] know man who asked about who where people get information nowadays the [ __ ] internet like it it happens i just this story didn't come on my radar what are you are you reading like a newspaper uh i don't know why this came across i don't know man people send me all types of [ __ ] but you know i do donkey today every day so people send me this [ __ ] they send me stupid-ass stories you know what i mean stories that you know when they want me to give people the credit they deserve for being stupid you know what i mean and these are the best ones to me because these are the ones where there's so many lessons to be taught in this story the number one lesson is respect everybody's life it's bad enough that we already eating the chickens there's no need to make the [ __ ] chickens fight you know what i'm saying like treat the chickens well feed them good you know i mean so when you do eat them their their life meant something don't [ __ ] fight them and then send them to the poultry farm this guy is 50 years old you wait to 50 years old to get yourself killed by a [ __ ] chicken wax you racing pitbulls i ain't dead well but you [ __ ] up you [ __ ] up you told your achilles that's peace but i could have been racing anybody i just happened to be a [ __ ] dog um can we can we do some [ __ ] you won't care about next week all right let's stop and pay some bills man cuz she dreams okay 2020 was a rough year and a hard time to keep your head in a good place okay that's why our friends at cushy dreams have been able to help cuz she dreams specializes in high quality smokeable cbd 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today cushy dreams smoke your cbd now let's get back to the show uh let's do some um [ __ ] you won't care about next week i'm going to be on bill maher too on friday by the way hey yeah so y'all check that out i'm beyond bill maher on friday all right what we got [ __ ] you [ __ ] you won't care about instagram next week they accidentally hit the likes yesterday i don't even know what that means i saw people saying that instagram has accidentally hit likes for more users i don't why does that matter people were saying like oh now the influencer is not going to make money but that's not true though because influencers make money off their impressions like that's what people really care about i know i'm just saying what i saw people were just making uh i thought it was i definitely thought it was because of numbers no you go to your end i mean that's numbers though you go to your analytics and your analytics it shows you that's still going to be there though you could still okay you can still see how many people liked it you could still see how many people it reached how many impressions it got unique views and all that other stupid [ __ ] these corporations [ __ ] with people's brain though cause them girls actually if they don't see them likes up there they're gonna [ __ ] with their brain well that's the problem i keep telling you everybody's seeking validation from a bunch of [ __ ] that is out here cutting their goddamn friends penises off just to get attention that says a lot about people yo i'm serious like you're seeking validation from the wrong folks and the sad part the people you seeking validation from are seeking validation from other [ __ ] so it's just a goddamn circle of validation seekers you cannot live life like that that [ __ ] is not [ __ ] sustainable at some point you got to get off that [ __ ] ferris wheel and stand on your own [ __ ] eventually well i don't like school they're gonna be standing on their own because they don't know what the [ __ ] they're gonna do does that [ __ ] bother you shouts when you can't see your likes no me neither yeah i don't really care and again maybe if i post some [ __ ] and i want to know how well it does that would bother me but i think you can also tell from comments oh the comments ain't going it's going to happen yeah the comments are the best part yeah yeah so you could tell from there and then people just geared towards comments but that's all it is people feeling economic insecurity they're like this is how i validate myself how can i prove to brands i'm i'm good without these analytics and this is also instagram going y'all not gonna make money without us that's all this yeah yeah yeah yeah instagram is instagram is out here like hold on you influencer thoughts are making millions of dollars selling tea and we're getting zero dollars out of that [ __ ] that [ __ ] you're gonna pay up you want to know about your likes you better pay us a dollar a month or two dollars a month then we'll give you access to the data you know it's gonna [ __ ] [ __ ] up though what's gonna [ __ ] [ __ ] up is these platforms like um fan base that my man isaac hayes has only fans like all of these apps that are actually paying the influences to be on it these people that can actually get money for this content that they're creating that [ __ ] gonna [ __ ] the game up yo it's only a matter of time before other social media sites gotta adopt that [ __ ] now don't get me wrong i know people use twitter and instagram and facebook to promote those other platforms yeah but it's gonna come a point in time where they're gonna have to do something to keep up likes ain't gonna especially if they're taking away the likes and [ __ ] like that likes ain't gonna be enough like why am i on this platform why am i spending the majority of my time on instagram if i got you know a half a million followers on only fans and i'm getting [ __ ] paid i met a uh i was with weezy yesterday and i met this woman named bella feet bella features and she makes like thousands of dollars on instagram monthly showing her [ __ ] feet yeah i know people like that hold on now what what what is her instagram i don't know what her instagram fiance now you can't look her only fans is bella features it's just feet is it cheating if it's looking at feet if you're interested in it really i don't even think feet are considered sexual like what do you do with feet teeth titties and toes oh you do have a foot fetish i love some feet bruh you do you do too see oh yeah like like sexually love like it arouses you no i don't like [ __ ] them i just think it looks pretty yeah same thing with like eyes like i like wearing pretty eyes but i don't want to [ __ ] the eyes yeah yeah i don't want [ __ ] the car but it's like you got good rims on it make the whole car look better you see what i'm saying like good feet make the whole girl look better yeah she's so beautiful in the face that's actually they got some straight dogs in her feet you be like uh um yeah it takes wax a while to get there but he'll eventually say something that makes sense i got your back bella feet you see her i'm looking for it did you google her bella's feet diary that yeah that sounds about right okay i'm on it yeah she got some nice steppers really what do you look for in nice feet i mean there is a little concern i have here that she has second toe longer but she has got a nice toe length um i don't like second toe longer and it looks like it might be but she's hiding it well um the nail is nicely shaped got a good shape to the nail good color choice for the nail nice arch to the foot yeah she's got a decent set of feet right here i don't know what y'all see in them bro actually second and third toe are equid equally as long as the first and potentially could be longer so i have an issue we're going to have to give some pushback here yeah i retract earlier statement second and third toe too long sorry nice arc look at him i'm good nice arch nice arch yeah we're looking at something pretty decent over here dude you know um yeah yeah pretty decent pretty decent i can't i didn't know i didn't know people give a [ __ ] about feet like that i don't mean i don't want feet to be tore up you know what i mean but i didn't know that people like i mean there is something like when you're making love to your woman you know what i'm saying and you look back and you see some nice feet up in the air you know what i mean if you see some dogs you guys see a [ __ ] thing and some ah especially the bottom of the foot that [ __ ] all [ __ ] up in sanji you know what's [ __ ] up let me tell you what's [ __ ] up i looked down at my phone right as we're talking about this and i just thought about some of the worst feat i've ever seen and look what somebody's talking about i already know who it is somebody just randomly text me that what it's like yo what the [ __ ] okay what else [ __ ] you won't care about next week um big sean contemplating suicide oh yeah i love it i mean listen i love the fact that you know big sean is talking about that you know and i salute big sean because big sean has been a a brother who's been on the front lines you know speaking out about his his issues with you know mental health you know what i mean and like he's a brother that has gone out there to get help you know he goes to therapy he practices mindfulness and i just you know i think we got to keep having more conversations like that everybody goes through you know emotional highs emotional lows mental highs mental lows you got to do what you got to do you know to keep your mental in check that's why like it's good to even hear wax talk about his past trauma you know what i mean yeah i started going to therapy though i went to therapy a couple of times what yeah i mean carla we went to a couple's therapy but it helped me out what'd you learn about yourself um that just shut up and listen and everything would be okay that's what i got out of it shut up and listen to judo my girl true i mean when you got a good girl when you got somebody that that's leading you the right way yeah just shut up and listen and see what's up in there if anything go wrong blame it all on her not mad at that man i don't know how healthy that is though because you don't want to be dependent like you still have to find of course i got i got the base you know what i'm saying like the man get the house the woman do the inside that's just basically the same thing with the relationship yeah because i mean if things don't work out you still got to be able to maintain on your own yeah yeah i mean certain things i'm never going to do i'm not going to wash my clothes and feed myself ever but why do you feel that way again feel that way that you're not gonna do that because i i was brought up not doing that um my mind goes crazy if i do it i just i never had anxiety in my life but when i had to wash dishes i think about putting but don't you like see i don't want to do it that bad i'm like i need to do something to these [ __ ] forks and these spoons cause i do not want to [ __ ] do this [ __ ] did somebody do that to you when you was a kid no listen i grew up with 12 brothers and sisters and when imagine have to clean a [ __ ] when is your um your dishes day imagine have to clean all this [ __ ] [ __ ] and you the only person that got to do it ain't no way i got traumatized from washing dishes and then next you know my mom's like i got a job for you and i had to go into the back back of the [ __ ] diner and [ __ ] wash dishes and [ __ ] i'm like man ain't no way but don't you like clean stuff on your ocd why did i make you want to play that that's why as soon as soon as i'm there i cleaned up right now yeah playing myself you did play with yourself it's not playing with yourself boom boom it's like and then keep putting up bro if jiggling your balls with a spoon ain't playing with yourself i don't know what playing with yourself is so so you're telling me if you wipe off if you go like this and you're the bathroom you got to shake off that's playing with yourself that's not what you did you went and got a spoon or a fork or something and started treating your dick like a bowl of froot loops no it's tooth pump pop out and then put it up i don't care how many pumps it was one is one two three yeah you brought up all right well you jerking off when you when you drip what [ __ ] you won't care about next week i don't even know what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] the [ __ ] sweetie putting ranch on her spaghetti i don't see nothing wrong with it she just put too much she should have listened to her boyfriend just put a dab a ranch that's all andrew do you put any you have any food like weird food combinations you eat no actually you know what i've been eating lately that are [ __ ] delicious dates and peanut butter amazing snack try that dates and peanut butter what's david's date what is that not exactly sure that's not like wifey talking it is wifey talking yeah that's wifey talking definitely wifey talking but that snack is absolutely amazing and uh kind of natural ish depending on yeah it's healthy yeah so but uh yeah no but the putting all that ranch on was absolutely disgusting but people do [ __ ] with ranch like californians love ranch they put that [ __ ] on pizza they put that [ __ ] on yeah vegetables everything they love ranch new york we don't really [ __ ] with ranch like that we act like ranch not slapping i put ranch on my spaghetti but i don't do it i don't do what she did i put it on a salad right and i always eat salad with spaghetti so when it's on my salad i mix it all together you know what i mean because i like to i like the texture of the noodles and the lettuce and the ranch dressing that tastes bomb hell yeah they put some cut up carrots in that [ __ ] too you mix your salad with your you say what you mix your salad with your spaghetti like you just love it all the time i don't know why wow that's i love it i think it's a country thing because they always put you guys always exactly the wax that is true they put everything on the same plate so yeah so then you just eat it they put your spring beans on the same plate with spaghetti they put your corn on the same page but you don't got to mash it together i did the spaghetti yams and salad did those spaghetti and yams how spaghetti together that's some [ __ ] you do when you go to somebody's house and it's just leftovers in this you just start putting [ __ ] together nobody made spaghetti and yams together but you mean i put it all in one plate no so anything that's on one plate y'all feel like you'll have to mix it up but it's all going in one spot so put it together i'm gonna eat like this anyway you know how you know america loves ranch though we don't think about it doritos bruh oh cooler ranch right come on bro way better than the blood bag bruh the goat dorito dog that goes cool ranch is so good that bloods eat the [ __ ] bag of doritos bruh yeah that's facts that [ __ ] is good as [ __ ] that's fast i get caught with a cool ranch it's called cooler ranch not just cool cooler whacks that imagine getting caught with a cool ranch that's wrong i'll just save you the blood you never said you could get away oh yeah yeah yeah no you're right you're right let's do some asking idiots man let's get dude you don't wanna respond with tyree's ex-wife no there's nothing to respond to what did he respond to i keep telling you that's a silly question it's like tyrese's wife speaks on being with a celebrity that's all i still have but there's no other that's the that is very specific like how do women feel about dating celebrities how many women have really dated a real life celebrity not some [ __ ] on instagram that you know because they got them set their balls on fire you know what i mean like actual real life celebrities it's not too many people that's dating okay well um ask idiot when coming out with the name for brain idiots what were the other names you came up with that's from brandon lee acting i don't know if we had other names did we ever have other names for braille idiots we had a couple now i'm forgetting what they were brilliant idiots it was like uh oh [ __ ] uh i'll name this podcast later it was uh no it wasn't the crazy part is do you know who came up with the name for brilliant idiots yeah this is fun story bethany [ __ ] friend benny frankel yo this is when bethany had her talk show she definitely had her daytime talk show and i used to be on bethany's show all the time and i said something and you know the audience went crazy and she was like you're you you say the wildest things that make so much sense you're like a brilliant [ __ ] idiot and i was like dude brilliant idiots wow boom done locked and loaded you got to pay attention to life like i promise you whatever answer you're looking for in life i know this is this is a message to all creative imaginative people whatever answer you're looking for in life just pay attention to life that answer will come right to you you just gotta be open and and [ __ ] will come from sources you weren't even thinking about places you weren't even looking that's why when i'm ever in the process of thinking about like a title or an idea or something i just listen like just listen to the universe and you're driving them things that catch your eye that you usually don't pay attention to you're like oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] and write that [ __ ] down something could be there you never know give us another one taylor i was looking at this one knock one how many women would jesus have if um he was still alive how many women would jesus have if he was still alive i mean none exactly yeah one none celibate he was i mean that's not what they showed a family guy and like oh god in light of history jesus ain't had no women yeah he was chilling nah he had mary magdalene he was hanging out with [ __ ] yeah but you know that was gonna help her out he she was cool that was nice you know that she's the greatest murderer jesus was with mary magdalene he was performing one of his greatest miracles and it's a miracle that has not been documented in the bible and that's [ __ ] up before jesus turned water in the wine before he [ __ ] you know walked on water he turned the hole into a housewife damn right it's great it's transformational greatest miracle with the greatest miracle man god blessed america credit for it back in the day they didn't have condoms or nothing it was just pull out gaming that's what they was [ __ ] with out there bro who the [ __ ] needs condoms when you got jesus yo he might have been saying please yo chase i got a little chlamydia over here jesus like get it right not even jesus don't even look jesus like man just throw a little finger you know what i'm saying like come on mary magdalene was clean yo jesus made mary magdalene a virgin again oh [ __ ] that's dr miami that was the first doctor miami jesus reset mary magdalene's body count bro he really did he's like come on don't for that miles back that man is a real miracle worker god bless jesus salute to you jesus jesus you know our heart okay don't judge us for this every time i talk about jesus i feel bad why why he made you bro he made you this [ __ ] up he made you have these jokes man that's on him you know he made he did you right he gave you these jokes he gave you these thoughts he gave you everything bro so slang them jokes at his best friend who was a hooker honestly jesus might have just gave us he might have just blessed us with some more miracles he was like finally somebody giving me credit for my greatest one that's right finally they really think i walked i didn't walk on the water okay i bought this wine with me [Laughter] but you i absolutely got your life together man let's jesus bro they don't like to talk about that in church at all man oh [ __ ] i got a call now yeah oh [ __ ] hey man i gotta [ __ ] go listen as always if you listen to this podcast you think we're smart you think we're intelligent you think we're brilliant you're absolutely right but if you listen to this podcast and you think we're just a couple of idiots who don't know [ __ ] you're right too it's a brilliant podcast thank you for listening [Music] you

Channel: Brilliant Idiots

Views: 265,543

Keywords: andrew schulz, andrew schultz, comedy, comedian, stand up, brilliant idiots, flagrant 2, sports, entertainment, pop culture, commentary, comedy club, near me, jokes, charlamagne, charlemange, breakfast club, interviews, wax, paige, taylor, alexx, alexxmedia

Id: Has305cCnhE

Length: 94min 7sec (5647 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 04 2021