Soul Care Salon (Part 1)

foreign [Music] [Music] thank you [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] well hello there Mount Zion hello Mount Zion hey I'm so excited to be here well me too I'm excited to be here with Pastor diamond and Diamond I am Pastor Diamond your associate pastor of vision development and execution and I'm here with the even better associate pastor Pastor Katina well thank you for that introduction Diamond of course you guys know who we are but I'm Pastor Katina Parish Clark associate pastor of congregational care and I tell you you guys are in for a treat today we are diving into the word of God with women on today and I tell you you are in for an exceptional treat because we gave the men time to kind of share for the last couple of weeks and they had their time to shine and share with us but today we are with women who Rock and so I just want to tell you today go ahead and like go ahead and share and definitely go ahead and put in the comments Women Rock cause we're getting ready to rock this thing out today I tell you down we are we have some exceptional women here with us on today are you ready for this experience I am excited about this first part of this Bible study series I'm telling you I know that it's going to be mind-blowing and it's amazing because this is a conversation with the married women the married women that's what we're starting off with that's what we're starting off with and Diamond you know we're right here in this Salon of Vision Salon that our own Elder Yolanda Crutcher owns and so we certainly thank her for opening up her shop to us on today but this is a place where women typically come to kind of get everything together on the outside but we're coming today to kind of be able to take care of some things on the inside making sure that we have that Soul Care in the chair right here at Vision Salon and so Domino's you kind of talked about already this is a conversation with women uh married women uh how are you feeling about being a part of that conversation as a single woman I'm telling you I'm looking forward because I need all the secrets I can get y'all all the secrets I can get so whatever these married women have whatever wisdom and the cool thing about it is you have different types of women who are doing different things different career paths some have been married for a long time some have just been married newlywed so I'm looking for all the keys that's what I'm looking for because you know I'm still in this single life I'm still in a single life well Diamond I have to tell you it's a blessed place to be but I'm glad you're here today with us to glean from uh the words of wisdom that these women will share and so it sounds like a word that maybe even the people that we're sewing into they may want to sew back into this ministry so I tell you uh it's offering time and so if you want to uh sold that offering into Mount Zion they're going to put ways right there on the screen for you to be able to do that for you to be able to sew into this ministry as we continue to sew right back into you well I'm ready Diamond you ready to pray and then we can get on into the Bible study series I'm trying to hear these keys I'm trying to hit all the wisdom yes I am more than ready I'm on the edge of my seat Well Mount Zion we are ready we're getting ready to pray and go right into praise and worship so join us with that God we thank you today we thank you Father for just another opportunity God to be able to glean God from your word got into get Revelation and light so God we ask God that you will go before us now God let our light so shine God that we might show your light to the men and women who will be on this Bible study series God that they may be able to glean what you would have them to glean God we give it over to you now and we declare that it is done in Jesus name here we go get ready amen [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] he heard my cry and rescued me never let the day go by and I realize [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] never let a day go by and I realize [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] as I look back through the years [Music] amazing [Music] [Music] that we are blessed and highly favored [Music] caught up in me it should have been me it would have been me if it was [Applause] it should have been me it would have been me it should have been me it would have been me if it wasn't for the blood it could have been me it should have been me it would have been me if it wasn't for the blood [Music] Mercy [Music] grace mercy Grace Mercy grace mercy [Music] Grace Mercy Grace Mercy Grace Mercy strange the Mercies praise [Music] [Music] well hey everybody Bishop Joseph Walker Here Mount Zion Church in Nashville Tennessee and I want to thank you for tuning in once again to our Bible study right here and I am so excited to have you connected to us and I want you to know something you're not watching by accident God has ordered your steps to this stream at this time to receive a powerful Revelation and you know what if you've been watching our Bible studies over the last few weeks or March you know God has been doing some amazing creative things in this space and I want to thank off each one of you now I want you to follow me follow me now on Instagram Facebook follow Dr still follow our ministry we would love to connect with you because we want to know where you're watching from and we truly appreciate that and let me tell you something we're really excited today because we know God's gonna do something amazing I am in a salon Vision Salon right here in Nashville Tennessee and I want to thank God for Yolanda crutch you're doing a tremendous job just allowing us to be in this space and uh we're just gonna invade this space with some extraordinary stories and women talking about life balance I know many of you are blessed so blessed by the man cave and let me tell you something the men spoke they laid it out there it went viral and I know today to hear from the women to hear their side of you their point of view it's gonna get real it's gonna get ready I hope you are geared up for what God's getting better to do we're calling it Soul Care from the salon chair I want to introduce my guest matter of fact I'm going to let them introduce themselves and I'm just going to walk around this salon so come on with me for a second and uh we're gonna see who's in the house today before we get into our robust conversation but I want to thank God first of all for the great great great great great wonderful woman you are and thank you so much Alicia for being with us today tell everybody who you are Miss Alicia yes so my name is Alicia shows James as you know a long a long member of Mount Zion I'm a Serial entrepreneur I also work work as a senior vice president for a technology company based out of Dallas Texas transitioned from a career in law enforcement so wow super non-traditional yeah talk about that yeah definitely wow that's that's pretty interesting yeah we are going to talk about that I hope you heard that that's going to be amazing and we're going to be talking about that and we've got some amazing stories in this place today some extraordinary women and of course right here uh Dr Annabelle how are you I'm good I'm so blessed to be here in Nashville you tell us about you and all the things you're doing well I'm a selling developmental biologist I graduated from Vandy so I'm home but I'm Global so I work for governments and run a lot of clinical trials all around the world every week wow and a mom of five of course wow wife too Gramps Morgan yes Cindy yes indeed and we'll talk a lot about that too because you're balancing a whole lot thank you so much for being here today and boy I tell you we're coming over here to miss Rachel Rachel how are you I'm good how are you I am super well and tell everybody about you well my name is Rachel Kelly I'm a licensed real estate agent here in Nashville I do Property Management I've been doing that for 15 years I'm a wife and I have two children wonderful all right and then of course we have the wonderful wonderful Katina good to see you good to see you today Bishop yes tell us about you well I am Katina Parish Clark I am the associate pastor of congregational care here at the Mount Zion Baptist Church where we are doing our very best to take care of our congregants one member at a time married to uh Mr Willard Clark and certainly glad to be here to be a part of this conversation on today I love it so we're going to get into this discussion you know I'm always excited to be in this beauty shop to kind of eavesdrop on what these women are talking about you know because we don't get a chance to know what they're talking about we just know they come home and uh we just don't know what they're talking about so we're going to go right into it and you know I'm really excited because today as we begin to really have this discussion uh it's incredibly important for us to look at what the scripture says about the power of women and how women were very instrumental throughout the entire Bible as we know but Luke chapter one gives us a powerful example Elizabeth tells Mary you know you're going to be carrying the word in you you know is the word of God God you know as a Son of God you know you've been carrying this word and when you think about carrying the word you're really carrying the manifestation of everything God said this is so powerful right and uh Alicia you talk about you know this idea of being a Serial entrepreneur but you pivot it yeah you pivoted from being in law enforcement right and right and clearly the word had to make you do that because we step out or something like that I mean that's got to be you know the word got me in the end and transition Miata absolutely absolutely um you know I I have a well let me first say I have a wonderful husband we've been together for 20 years we've been married for 13. we have two wonderful children awesome and you know when I first met Mike I wasn't in law enforcement so I was like hey how you doing okay you're good yeah and I want to be a cop oh you want to be a cop yeah and I want to be a homicide detective like typically that could like slow down the relationship process um you know and then having a wife to go into such a male dominated um tough it was a very tough um industry and you know when I was in policing it was an opportunity that came about where I had the opportunity to go to DC and work for President Obama or a temporary Duty assignment right and it was about two months after I was married to Mike and I remember during that time it was a bit of a transition obviously traditional law enforcement now going to you know the White House and Mike said I want you to go be great this is historic is bigger than me is bigger than you wow and that was the first time that God allowed me to see him differently as my husband to say that he would be palatable and supportive of Transitions and so after doing law enforcement several different levels you know ran State Department for governor Haslam um up under Corrections and everything and and after that last transition to different law enforcement I thought to myself I want to help individuals return from an incarcerated setting better position and so I thought how we leverage technology today can we leverage technology to help people return and be more connected so I went home to my husband and I said I'm going to quit my government job and he was like now say what all right and I said you know I want I don't I think is is too secure it's too regimented and I appreciate you know everything that it has built me you know to become but there needs to be more thought leaders in the tech space about the needs of government and returning citizens yeah and I thought my I think my husband thought I was crazy a little bit but yeah but but he he stepped back and once again he said this is bigger than me it's bigger than you and I have to allow you the space to mature into what God has called you to be and so I think it is with that backdrop that really gave me the strength and the courage to transition it wasn't like you know we see on LinkedIn you prepare your resume you put in for this no it ain't like that yeah yeah it was breaking down in the laundry room crying you know tears flowing after hearing the word of God and realizing that I have to get uncomfortable in order to do his work yeah and my husband being supportive of that transition yeah I think it's I think it's important that that is like wow you talk about the support of a husband and what it really means when you're balancing career and you're trying to do your own thing and the only things I I really believe very strongly is that uh when God brings two people together it's a purpose it's bigger than themselves right that's definitely talk about this all the time you have to marry someone that doesn't come cause you to be swallowed up in the vortex of who they are exactly you work together right help me working together I think that's so powerful I'll come back to that but Dr Annabelle like you are Global what you're doing um and you know you heard Alicia talk about you know how important it is to have a husband that supports what you do now think about what you do right you know you're a global you're out here doing this research that's Cutting Edge you know your your mother you know your your wife to to a grammy-nominated artist worldwide Grammy winnings nominated Grammy winning you know just extraordinary you know Global Phenom both of you and I see you you know you know getting Awards in different countries I see him getting Awards and I see you at the same time you know at the soccer field basketball you know at the school how do you make sense how do you make what is this how do you do this what's air traffic controlling your house look like I mean it's all about having that Foundation all right and Gramps was Gramps is my husband's name by the way that's his yeah stage name baby given name so um you know ever since we got together he was always about home and Foundation yeah so we can be anywhere in the world but your energy has to be at home and wherever you are be present in that moment God put you here for that reason be present in it and have the communication between each other wherever you are in the world God Is Bigger than that right so it's it's about knowing that God wants me to be here and do the work for these people but I always come home my focus is always home and you know and he's been I mean he he's been Global for 25 years and so Africa Europe and and I always thought how am I going to be with a man that I'm never really going to be with right and I'll tell you what we are stronger now than we were during covid because we're able to really be behind each other and you know push each other and and always make home very intentional and be very focused in that it makes you be organized um so Organization for us is like if you see us you'll be like oh my gosh these people are in 100 different directions right but we're very intentional yeah yeah and we don't play with our time yeah and we always put God in the center of all that and we always put home which is not a physical place we always put home first you know um in in man cave right um the man talked about the importance of supporting their wives [Music] um and they talked about and I think it's important right we talk about when when God made beef right he presented her unto the man that he saw her as a gift and oftentimes clearly not in your situations oftentimes I think the gift that a woman is also should show up that in the gifts that are within her right and if I see you as a gift I embrace the gifts that are in you it's I unpack I'm like wow and those gifts and gifts are revelatory you're discovering them as you like you talked about Alicia like I'm in law enforcement I'm doing this and all of a sudden like the word pivots me to this and it's like things are still rolling out it's like you're constantly discovering things that are inside of you I assume the same with you and to be like you're an author now right you're constantly discovering gifts and rolling those things out and what it requires I think is people not to be intimidated by your giftedness your greatness because it doesn't diminish their manhood at all let's talk about that yeah yeah that's a lot right there it's true it's true and my husband so he's an entertainment as well he's a comedian and he's been doing it for a very 18 years thank you 18 years all over the country and there's a lot of travel as well so you know he's traveling he's doing his thing I'm doing my thing and I think that my prayers today for Revelation to be not only what God has called me to be but understand that he is evolving as a man I'm evolving as a woman right like like for God to give us connectedness it's just it's a different type of prayer than when I was in my 20s right right like your 40s is a lot I don't know sisters that's in the room your 20s is a lot different than your 40s right your prayers change and there there were some things about my husband that drove me nuts when I was in my 20s like oh man he just he doesn't always want to go and you know all of this that sustained us through our 30s and now into our 40s because there are things that that that I need and that that he needs and so when you talk about unpack taking the gifts what I've come to appreciate are those those qualities that once annoyed me yeah I think saved our marriage in some ways wow right over time okay so okay all right yeah I see you laughing at that one I mean we could talk about that all day right yeah but um you know but so can they yeah and so it's it's really about leveling up you know that intimidation it might mean that you're not really ready for that woman correct that woman being great and women reaching a certain Heights of success yeah I look at myself in the mirror and I say man I couldn't have done this without my husband wow because I cried so many nights and came home said I'm quitting you know this man brought me strength oh gosh this man showed me that God has bigger plans than what my feelings and my emotions are allowing me to like don't get beat up it's okay this is part of the process and you know many of you don't know but in 2016 our first child together our son he had 40 of his brain removed and you know all we had was each other yeah and God and that's it right we we can look at each other and literally see God standing right there and said this is something you guys are going to go through together that's going to bond you and strengthen you and coming out of that and I'll give you the happy part now God showed me through my husband why I'm a scientist so I created a medicine for my son still went to Walgreens picked up his medication but you know I'm a double PhD I created a medicine for my son today still missing 40 of his brain but he's a perfectly normal child and so God showed me through my husband my gifts and my greatness and what I'm not only supposed to do for my son so God showed off with my son yeah but what we are supposed to do collectively with this foundation for the rest of the world and so it's it's very deep it is my deepest it's quite deep it's quite inspirational you I think you think about covering and and clean Rachel like like you know when you you hear these stories right you know like what you do in real estate now you're in the management side of it you're doing all this and your husband I know you know he's got his shop like this you know talking to the men all day right but to have a strong man to have a covering sometimes a lot of women I don't need a man I don't eat all that you know how do you reconcile it like you know how have you been able to one understand the significant role your husband has played as a covering in your life but also how have you been able to continuously stir the gifts up and evolve as a woman in business well for me it took a while for me to realize that I can no longer be independent as a single woman and realize that I'm married and I have my husband here for his support yeah um it just took a while for my growth to kick in so me wanting to get into real estate and the property management side and trying to juggle both that's something that I sat down and talked to Antonio about and asked him are you okay with this you know I want to make sure that you are because I don't want to take away from our home my time and everything that I have to do as a wife and a mother and so you got a game plan you talk you actually set that up notice it's so important right because because you you know the Bible speaks about this right you really have to have a game plan that is reasoned together let's have a plan a vision that's right the vision make it plain right Rebecca says that those who really can run with it it's hard to have someone run with something just be cool with something if they don't if it's not plain to them right to know what they're signing up for right so you actually sit down with your husband not so much for permission but to say I want you to understand what God is saying to me and I want you to come alongside me and support this right yes yeah because with success it's a journey so if I can't allow him to be in the Journey with me we're not going to make it because I cannot go out there and say I'm going to sign my name on a dotted line without my husband knowing what's going on so it's the same thing in my career he's not going to hold me back and Antonio is definitely a yes man so he's going to support me in any type of way but I do let him be the lead the leader in our marriage and our family so if he says yes then it's a ghost you know hey he's going to support me Antonio helps me he gets me together together he literally picks my clothes out yes Antonio is a phenomenal man and I I did that listen listen my very first year of real estate Antonio went to New York and Company and spent almost three hundred dollars and bought me just full of closet full of clothes [Music] but I appreciated that because that that showed me right then and there the Lord spoke to me and said Antonio is for your success he wants you to succeed he wants you to be powerful and even at times where I may get it home and just get lost with the family and my phone is laying around he's he's very business oriented so Antonio's phone is always jumping he literally Cuts almost 150 heads a week wow so he has grown his clientele and this just shows you his character you know so even with my phone laying around he's like you need to get your phone you're working on the deal you know I'm like I don't you know I'm not worried about that right now but what he's he was teaching me is to how to be a businesswoman right because sometimes we get lost in things and we put our attention to other things but he always focuses on me succeeding and being successful and it's an example for my children I have a 50 year old daughter yeah she has been with me my whole journey in real estate she does open houses with me she helps me with everything my family is a part of my business and I love that because some people separate their family my family does everything with me every step of the way even Baby Chloe is out there putting balloons and yard signs you know we do everything together as a family as well as Antonio's business so just helping us to all just be together as a family to do our businesses as well it really helps us to lay the foundation it's so important I think the but what's so impressive about that is I think the inclusivity of that right the Bible says in Psalms unless the Lord builds a house they that build build in vain this idea that everybody's everybody is a part of everybody's success yes right everybody's on the team everybody's on the team that you win we win we all went together we all in this together we're in the Huddle you look at it like I'm wearing the Huddle yeah getting our plays together you come to the line of scrimmage I got you yeah there were places are running you know and we're constantly I think this theme of it sounds to me this theme I'm hearing is how the husbands are pushing the women and not preventing them they're actually pushing the greatness that's within them Paul tells Timothy stir the gift up inside of you Stir It Up and here you go Katina newlywed right and Lord know you waited you waited for the right talk about the Whitefish yeah let's talk about like a Tina like this is a real situation because I mean you waited in your 20s you waited in your 30s and a majority of my majority of your 40s yeah for your first husband yeah and here you are talk about that because is obviously you clearly you clearly married the right man clearly I mean let's talk about that no it's no doubt about that seriously um um I got married at 47. I was about 21 days out of being 48. and uh that's different you know so I was independent for all of those years and uh not to toot my own horn but I believe I handled that Independence quite well um but meeting uh Wilder we met in the midst of a pandemic um transitioning to Chattanooga so we met about two weeks before I uh was transitioning to move to Chattanooga for a new opportunity and so he got to know Katina a little bit um before the pandemic started but then we were thrown directly into the midst of a pandemic so that kind of you know allowed our relationship to really flourish because we were or in that bubble together and we got to experience the very first challenge of our relationship right there in the midst of the pandemic like how do we protect each other how do we support each other like what are we doing here in the midst of this pandemic as we try to build this relationship and so and let me just say this fight but one of the things I discovered uh for folks who have been married and this we've talked about this all around the world is that the pandemic exacerbated what pre-existing conditions that were in marriage right during covet like for example if people were having challenges and they could get away from each other they could kind of deal with it but when you couldn't go nowhere I mean couldn't go nowhere in the house you had to deal with that stuff head on and some people made it some people didn't yeah because these were real issues it really kind of found out what your marriage was made of right and so you started out in the pandemic we started out in the pandemic so and Bishop I tell you you know being right there we look back on it now hindsight is always 20 20. but we look back at that and say oh my God if we made it through that surely we can make it through anything we're 11 months in now just a couple of weeks away from being you know celebrating our first year anniversary and we've come through so much but I tell you that time there allowed us to build such a foundation in our relationship now that has caused us to be able to flourish even in this first year of marriage you know what it's like uh building that first year of marriage you go through a lot of transitions I think I'm getting a lot of amens here it should be some very loud ones but their first year of marriage can be quite tough really you know because you're learning each other I mean you live together every day and that weekend stuff that Willa and I got to experience you know oh well it's kind of like a honeymoon every weekend we would get together but um this stuff is up close and personal now and again there's nowhere to go you know and so of course we are committed to making uh the marriage work but you know one of the things um that I think changed for Willard that probably kind of tested him a little bit is because when he met me I was a chaplain and he met me in the midst of a pandemic uh being a chaplain where my work was um had to be kind of restructured so my evenings were free you know I would get go to the hospital every day but uh in the evenings I'm coming home on the weekends I wasn't in the hospital as much because of the pandemic but then when we decided that we were going to get married right get engaged get married so now we're like what does life look like for uh me now because Willard married a minister but he never really got to see me operate as a minister because I was in the hospital yes so now okay Willard's in Nashville I'm in Chattanooga we're trying to figure this thing out I'm praying okay God I know you told me to come to Chattanooga but God I also know you didn't gave me this man to marry so how we getting ready to make this work between Chattanooga and Nashville and just as we started praying I kid you not um I'm an open book and so I'm like Lord this man don't already said well Katina I don't want you to be concerned about anything he said I know you want to work and he said I can't really tell you to retire today he said but I do want you to understand if you come back to Nashville and we get married and you don't have a job we gonna be all right he wanted to free me from that weight yeah so I thank God for his support you know even if we were married then you know so that speaks volumes to who he is to say Katina I mean we had only been dating right at a year and he says hey if you don't have a job when you come back we're gonna be okay but as I prayed about and he knew I was praying about it he said okay he said you've left it in God's hands now and then I get a call from Bishop cool come on hey yeah hey we got this position that's going to open up ah Katina I think you'd be the right one I said well Bishop I I believe that I'm hearing from God you know because clearly I had just finished praying about it within the same week I said but as much as I hear from God I have also to consult now who's getting ready to be my mate and so we talked about that and uh Willard said okay I said but this does look different for me it's gonna look quite different so I need for you to be prepared for that because coming into Mount Zion as the associate pastor of congregational care y'all know that we're not just local we're taking care of our local Congress but we're taking care of our Global Congress and trust me they're calling from all over this world to get the care that they need and so I watch him you know and I have to give him his props because again this is this is can be quite difficult when you have to handle this kind of work and the weight of God and you know it's your calling you know it's your assignment but just as Dr Annabelle said when your husband your mate that God has given to you recognizes the gifts in you and how they are a blessing to to him then he just totally turns around and says baby whatever you need to do even if my hot water cornbread ain't ready just right when I need one to be ready handle that congregate and we'll eat a little bit later he's very flexible but I have to say you know even with that as much as he pushes me to do the work that I do he also helps keep me in check because I'm a giver constantly and I've always wanted to give but he also says Katina that phone is going to ring all night you just got to put it up because I need some of your time and I need some of your attention so we've we've been working that quite well and I just I appreciate that couldn't do it without him wow it was a powerful theme and why you know just coming back to these these two women here because you know I think that you hear that right one of the things to me I think that's incredibly and Powerful is how do you interpret the seasons of your life yeah right and uh you hear Rachel uh talking about you know how her husband actually pivots her husband supports her he comes in but there's Seasons to this right and then katina's in this you know embryonics the first quarter right and uh but the two of you for example you know clearly have stepped out into another season of your life and it's been phenomenal to watch Amazing to watch the gifts that are in you the Bible says you know Philippians 1 and 6 the thing that God started in you he'll perform for the day of Jesus Christ yes it will he started something his every intent on ending that and you're the kind of women that are not gonna let anything stop where God started right right right but talk about how those seasons though how you've been able to navigate those Seasons because another couple of challenges I know they've come with New Perspectives about life how is your perspective of Life perspective of those challenges your understanding of what success looks like it looks different when you're 20s you know oh you're like what is real success here one of the things let me just say this I'll I'll set the stage like for all of us so you know Dr Steph talks about in her uh her recent story on social media she was very honest about taking some time away to reset recalibrate because she was just going going and it got to a point that she just realized I need to just really hear from God again and understand what this next season looks like and then a lot of the stuff that we both have been reading kind of revealed to us that people who are incredibly successful now the new I think the new uh way of looking at success is how much rest you get right how much of your time do you own how much of your time do you own meaning how are you able to balance work and life you talk about it being that like being there for your children being you know I watched I watch in real time I see it you know I see you know Tuesday night baseball I see basketball practice you posted I see it right Rachel you talk about your kids helping you get ready and do all this you know you're willing being able to have those date nights and how I as your boss it's like look no you're not doing this go with your husband like I'm very sensitive to that right making certain that the blessing of the Lord make us rich but it has no sorrow no sorrow right yeah so whatever God gives us is never supposed to cost us our families right our mental health or anything how are you guys doing it you know I I think like being obedient to what God is telling me in my spirit during that time right and I have to unplug from social sometimes because I'm just going to keep it real like Instagram and how you feeling like you got to have knees like Megan you gotta make deals like Oprah you got to cook like Martha I mean I'm keeping it real right yeah and you have to do all of that all the time or you're not this whole 2022 woman yeah well sometimes I'm all of that sometimes I'm none of that right and he gives me my husband gives me the grace and space to say I need to unplug I need to backtrack I will nerd out on things like the Wall Street Journal or Harvard Business review of all of the things right that that that you know it promote my you know my my thinking of business and all of these and he's like girl bye like like give me that stuff like take the newspaper out of your hand and he he creates a space where there is nothing required wow it is just it's just me authentic wow yeah wow yeah nothing requires nothing records because the world is expecting all of us all day long and when you're a highly productive person they want you they want you right every time the phone rings yeah somebody somebody won somebody won how do you turn it off how do you manage it you just do you just give to yourself give to sometimes giving to yourself is turning it off yeah yep and when you have a partner that needs that same thing yeah then you can communicate that and understand that every season is different yeah this isn't winter spring summer and fall right God's going to hit you with different angles different tragedies right and I have learned very early on that it is in those biggest tragedies that I Prevail and that the biggest blessings come yeah and that I learned the most about myself yeah and all of that has been with me having my husband by my side and him communicating to me well maybe God has a message here yeah God always has a message God has a message for why we are in the salon today yeah yeah and talking about this as a community what is it bringing out for us as individuals you know we we're just like everybody else so us getting to talk about it is a gift yeah within itself I think I think often there are people uh who look at this women who are watching and saying well you know what you guys are incredibly successful successful I'm just trying to get off I'm you know I'm just a normal and they lose sight that you're normal they lose sight that you are absolutely just as normal just as you know you're getting up in the morning trying to get the kids ready trying to make life they lose sight of the normality of what you do they do how do you well how what would you say to help people understand like man we're just like you we're just out here trying to make this work and hear some of the things we're doing I just try to be very open honest and transparent with people I try to show their authenticity anytime that I'm on of course social media or with my clients they even get bashful when I say oh I'm taking my daughter to softball practice my daughter has a game you know I'm like I'm a normal person just like you are you know it doesn't matter what it looks like on the outside I still go home I have a husband I have children I have duties as a wife and a mother and I always tell people when they say oh I like what you do you know how do you get there and I want to do this and that you know I have new realtors that inbox me all the time and say I want to sell 10 homes a year you know I just started last month I'm like listen you don't know what it took to get here and what it takes to keep it together yeah but just know just being yourself that's all that matters you don't have to be in competition with anybody and you know just just making sure that you stay prayed up is is really the most important thing because you can't do any of this without God blessing again you know so everything looks different for each person so I I tell people I'm normal I wear I wear my tennis shoes you know I put my Jordans on my ones and stuff you know I'm normal just like you are you know I go to the gym I ran into some clients at the gym you're like you in the gym right you I can't believe it I'm like I don't wear a business suit every day yeah I hate the grocery store yes I'm shopping at Kroger shopping I kind of get that a lot too yeah my daughter see you in Starbucks one day she was like Mama you said Starbucks I said he's normal you know so people just sometimes just look at the success even with celebrities I mean they're normal people you know since I've been traveling back and forth to Georgia I've seen a lot of different celebrities and one time my daughter was like you're not gonna take a picture I was like no they're just regular people let them have their dinner you know go shopping do something I don't have to do all of that you know but some people just don't look at that they look at the stardom and not the person wow wow one of the things Katina that uh I'm I'm very aware of and you know I was mentioning earlier and Dr Steph says it's so eloquently the new flex is sleep and I watch her struggling to get it like this morning for example yesterday and uh no it's in normal days right um but you know she got off a plane um we went to dinner then the next day you know she knows you know she takes Joseph I take you know JoJo to school but then JoJo had an unusually long day she had you know dance after school so Steph takes her to dance picks her up wait to the line takes her to dance and then she texts me like I forgot she has shooter generation she wants to go to that we won't be home until eight so now she's been gone and I had meetings too and so then what I did trying to be a good husband y'all y'all let me know if I did all right all right so I'm like okay she's coming home at eight o'clock I know she's exhausted because she hadn't recovered from this West Coast Flight yeah but she's been a mother she's in mommy's own because you guys get in mommy's on yeah you lose sight of everything you're just going so I I'm like okay when you get home okay I got dinner for you and this morning I knew that the normal routine you take Joseph I take I'm like no you sleep I'm gonna take them both today so I gotta go on this side of town and all on that side of town but you know what this is what we do yeah the husbands should learn to support the wife means that she doesn't have to ask that is a good one talk about that though right is that it Bishop you are spot on and let me tell you you know because again because we're normal people like you know we don't have Maids you know we don't have you know all of we just have each other really yeah and so um there are things that go on in our household that um you know are very normal you know Willard has to eat I have to eat which means we got to get groceries um but a lot of times you know um that changes because you know most of the time I do the grocery shopping now Willard likes to go with me and he likes to push the basket but I'm like okay as we walk around this grocery store you know you start paying attention to some of these things that that we get in the house because you know there there might be a time where I may not be able to keep my traditional schedule or what we've said and so he may say well baby you know what okay you're running a little bit late you know planning that funeral took a little bit longer I know we're cooking today uh let me go to the grocery store for you and he's fine with that but I have to take some screenshots right and then send stuff to him just so he's like I'll do it I can follow the directions if you give them to me but yes uh making sure that um you know just because you have certain things certain ways in your house that it would normally go we don't get so stuck on those rolls now now there it is yeah we don't let that heal myself there it is Amos three and three how can two walk together unless they agree yeah there is a so Dr staff and I we wrote in his book we wrote becoming a couple of Destiny she's from Los Angeles from Louisiana so we are we are raised in different ways of understanding roles I'm raised that the men take out the trash deal with that the women do the cooking I meet this woman I'm waiting on my plate she like and now we gotta figure this thing out right what is this and I'm trying to deal with my manhood with my brothers like yo I think official places it's a big deal right right but then I began to realize something that you have to create what works for you that's right team Walker that's it team Morgan team James right let's talk about that team Kelly team Kelly team Clark those roles sometimes shift that's it definitely like Gramps got to get in there make some omelette sometimes oh you know what cramps can cook come on now whoa tell me when we first got together I know he's very so Gramps comes from a family 30 brothers and sisters No Lie 30 brothers and sisters all grew up in the same house and the moms they stayed home and they cooked and the dad was out hustling taking them to music and all that and so that's what he comes from so when we first got together I was really trying to impress him because I kind of grew up from women being at home and cooking and all that but I also knew I wanted to play basketball I wanted to go to school like I also now I wanted to be you know independent and successful but I was like okay I'm gonna be a little bit submissive and I think we get mixed up with what does Progressive mean a lot of times I tell my friends I'm like you know you just have to be submissive to your mandate you have to allow them to be king it's submissive [Laughter] I love it and it's it's not about it's just about being caring and kind and understanding our roles yeah right like don't you want him to be that pillar for you don't you want him to take over when you can't do something so in the pandemic Gramps is a musician he had to cancel five tours that year and me as a scientist I was one of the first phone calls for covid so my workload went Skyrocket his went down to where he didn't know what to do with himself kind of thing and he had to take care of home you know so we have five children in the home a few of my step kids were living with us at the time four of them and so he cooked every meal he had to get them ready on those zooms he had to help with the laundry and he's never ever had to do those things but I didn't have to ask because he saw how busy I was and he saw what I was doing for others to represent our family in our home and to help people and so my Foundation got to stay the same we got to have that consistency that the children know about and I didn't feel like overwhelmed I mean I kind of always feel overwhelmed but I felt the balance at the same time and that's that's such a beautiful story and you you really see us trying even if we put the dark clothes and the white clothes in the same time the trying is huge right because it's what are it's what are your expectations I always say in the kindliest way that my husband's like another one of my children yeah yeah and my oldest child yeah yeah but yeah we never say stuff like that there's no way no way but it's just meeting people where they are yeah yeah you know and it's like wow like I see your effort yeah no you're not going to do it like me but I'm not gonna do what you do every day like you do so it's thank you for that yeah thankful that my partner just has that consciousness of where we are yeah yeah it's that yin and yang right like is that he meets me where I where I need him to meet me and it's never really a conversation or you know like my sister over here said she came to her husband with a plan I was like oh I don't sometimes half the time I don't come I'll have the plan for myself so I don't really know right right and it's just being being honest in those moments and just like hey you know I have X Y and Z I have to fly in and out you know I try to fly in and out the same day so my kids can either see me in the morning or the evening and so oftentimes like he's doing pick up or drop off or baseball or something and he just like Steps in I'm very blessed in that way my husband just I mean he just like you know he just goes with it and it works for our household and people may see like individuals hot like that's too chaotic it's too crazy and it's just like it works for us he meets my need I meet his needs you know we spend time together we completely unplug I remember we went to Costa Rica last year and we slept the whole first day like what nobody had kicking in Costa Rica we would sleep yeah right yeah um so it's just it just works like that and that's a blessing yeah so important to redefine what these roles are I think we get stuck sometime and well this is what how my granddad right his family how my grandmother did this and you forget like you know we're marrying women who have a different burden you know right you guys have a different burden of different you know level of exposure success and things you're doing and how important it is just to make sure that the one to whom you marry right really understands that let me let me ask this question um if there were one thing you would want men who were married to women to know I want you to think about this question process the word of wisdom like I want every husband from my perspective and you're not talking to your husband because your husbands are doing it yes but I want every husband to know this is what she needs I want to give you 60 seconds to talk about that like personally like this is what I think you need to understand your wives and those who want to be husbands who are dating and are engaged and like it's so hard she's complicated one day she's crying one day she's smiling I can't figure it out okay let's just get some wisdom what would you like to say to the man way in the back yeah yeah right who's peeping watching their wives girlfriend watch this like okay I'm listening what would you want to say to them this is what she is saying speak on behalf of the sisters that's watching yeah come on I'll start here you know I think about this this morning and as I was in the shower you know a man who finds a wife finds a good thing yeah you know but I think the misconception is when you get married I think a lot of times men seem to believe that the wife has come to uh bring some resolve to a lot of the things that they are challenged with and the truth of the matter is yeah he that finds a wife finds a good thing but he's not the only one that has needs in this relationship and so I think men need to really understand that yes women you talk about perhaps your husband being like a you know an older child you know but I think that sometimes they also kind of see us as the one who would come to fix things as another mom and so I think that men have to recognize that we are looking to you for just the same amount of support as you are looking to us and so I think with even willing and I you know it's a constant pouring into one another that's how we're able to do the things keeping each other's cup full so that when it comes to those times where the roles have to be reversed we both have something to give from that regard so I would say that men just need to recognize fully that uh women want just as much support from them as they want from us okay okay yeah I agree even when we take our work Hats Off we're still very vulnerable we want that support you should be able to be supportive and don't let the success overshadow who the person is genuinely on the inside and one thing that me and Antonio talk about a lot and we were so blessed at the beginning of our marriage to have the marriage Ministry yeah I mean that's how so much our first year and even to the point we have a very non-traditional marriage and it works for us we love it and marriage is beautiful you know he has nine barbers in his Barbershop he has so many men that come in and some people are very negative about marriage but one thing for sure Antonio said that's my friend that's my rock what she needs I need the same we definitely bounce off of each other and we're stuck together like glue and I had to learn a lot of different things even about like she said about your husband almost being like a child in a sense not in a negative way but it was certain things then in the beginning I'm like why you can't fold the towels you know like why but when think that Miss cookie taught us in that class was it's okay he's doing it he's doing it yes and I had to sit back and say you know what right I haven't said anything in nine years about these house yeah I might come in and make them look a little better but I just think that everybody should bounce off of each other and their support should be there and not to be intimidated by anything else except who that person is genuinely and you know who you're marrying so that's it you have to just be intentional about everything and don't forget who you were when you first got together and when you first yeah and Kobe taught us a lot about each other and being in each other's space more it's a 24 7. and one thing that we learned one we came out of covet was to be more intentional about dating and we forgot about that because we got lost in the hustle and once we realized that hey we're not spending any time with each other it's just so robotic we need to straighten this out a little bit and just having fun with each other create memories I love it I love it yeah all right Dr Annabelle I'm all on that same page all of that I think to add to it um you know be a woman's peace in the same way that you would want your woman to be your piece you know and what does that mean that means be my friend be understanding and conscious to my needs because we do need you a lot of times we're looked at as super women because we do so many things we wear so many hats we have so much to balance I think I need my husband more now than when I stayed at home right right because you need that Foundation I know I say that a lot but you need that Foundation at home to be able to keep that balance and and we as women you know we just we just need to relax sometimes and put our head on our husband's shoulder and you know and that support system it just needs to be as strong as ever so you know be my peace be my friend and I think as long as everything's good at the top it all trickles down to the rest of your house I love that I love that yeah you know the the the strongest and the sexiest thing that my husband can do for me is to pray for me and pray for wisdom pray for for strength pray for vision because you can have all of the stuff yeah right like the world will praise you for the stuff but I need my man to pray that God continues to part wisdom on me as a heartbeat of the house so women are the heartbeat of the household right and we and we put that swag in the household right like our kids kind of emulate us and so when I think about that like I need him to continue to to pray over me and I pray over him right and and that is the that's the most manly thing that that he can do for me is just constantly keeping me in prayer and every time I go somewhere you know I speak at an event or whatnot I say pray for me he's like I always am right and so that's just our our connection point and he is my place of Refuge right when the world is buzzing he is where I can go to kind of get that recharge wow yeah let's give it up for everybody this is amazing I I don't know if you guys have really been locked in on this but let me tell you something this is this is what it's about and uh we want you to come into this space to really hear real stories from real women who are living inside this isn't Theory this is everyday practical application of wives who are making it happen in their own particular context and whatever context you find yourself there are some takeaways I hope you heard them today hey one of the things that is very important I want to tie this in uh to this ending here but I think it's important to think about the level of intentionality it takes to be married to someone yeah there's a great deal of intentionality but I talk about that one of the things that one of my mentors said to me is you have to have energy and intentionality if you can be intentional but there's no energy there's no focus in that area and I think what we're hearing is the idea that when you're home when you are home be home when you're locked in on someone their success be locked in on that be intentional about support I think it's also important to understand that we have to make sure that we are listening carefully Ministry is marriage marriage is Ministry meaning that Ministry is meeting and often if a person has to articulate that need you're often a day late a dollar short sometimes it's being sensitive enough to be able to understand what God did in the garden in Genesis when the Bible said that God made the woman Adam looked at her and said you are bone of my bone Flesh of My Flesh I thought that was the most fascinating Revelation to me that Adam saw within her before he saw what was on the outside of her that true intimacy say it slow is in to me to see to see wow I did think yeah that everything we've heard today is really the essence that when you are into that person to see the gifts that they have things that they're stressed out about the support that they need prayer the time they need prayer the time they need you to fold the clothes the time they need you to volunteer to do this and carry that you'd be amazed at how marriage works when you are into that person to see the need to meet the need listen make no mistake about it women this is the year the season of the woman let's be clear these women in this Salon even women you ain't heard from yet sitting around these listen there's some extraordinary powerful women and we cannot be intimidated by their greatness because when God brings two people together watch this these women are looking for anybody to complete them they're already complete completing him and looking for someone to compliment to work alongside as Eve was Adam's help meet they were to meet things together to work together to be under co-submission that word submission is life is yes why I've submitted your husbands as your husbands submit to God no woman is going to submit to anything that's not submitted to God that's right and when a man is submitted to God Watch What Happens he loves that woman into submission because that submission is not coerced nor is it it is it is not harmful but it is wonderful enhancing it is a beautiful thing and today I hope you have watched this and realize you don't have to allow your gifts to be suffocated to be downsized just to accommodate a situation but pray that God would Open the Eyes of the one that you're with to see the totality of the greatness that's inside of you within you is something great Jeremiah 29 11 says this I know the thoughts or the plans I have for you thought of peace and not evil to give you a future and a hope and it is our prayer that all of what God wants to do in you comes to fruition and the husband that God has alongside you and the one that you're praying for will be a partner in greatness with that's what it's all about we're praying for Holy wedlock and not ungodly padlock in Jesus name we're so grateful listen I want to give you an opportunity if you need a relationship with Jesus Christ I want you right now to just uh man I want you to text us right here the word salvation I want you to text that number right there and I want you to let us know if you want to connect with this ministry maybe God spoke to you like you know what I need to be a part of this ministry but God is doing these conversations is going to help we have you heard Rachel talk about our marriage class we have a powerful marriage Ministry I'm outside we're so committed you see uh princess Kyle when this issues about women's ministry we're doing a lot for women we just believe in supporting the whole family and that's what it's about awesome children's ministry for your children so we just want you to know Mount Zion is a great place for you to be connected and we would love for you to get to know Jesus and love you to get to know folks just like this who are just like you out there winning with Jesus how about that so God bless you and may God keep you we're here from the salon song care from the salon chair let's give it up y'all [Applause] [Music]

Channel: mtzionnashville

Views: 3,202

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Id: EQs-N8DpbnE

Length: 67min 53sec (4073 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 21 2022