The Bible from 30,000 Feet-- Soaring Through the Scripture
from Genesis to Revelation. Well, let's turn in our
Bibles to the Song of Songs, or the Song of Solomon. And would you join
me, as we pray? Father, we feel it necessary
to pause before we begin, even though our worship
songs have been, in effect, prayers to You before You. But Father, we seek not just to
understand a book of the Bible, even though that's
what we're doing, examining this book
in a single setting. But we want far more than that. We certainly want more than just
understanding the human author Solomon, but we want to know
Your mind, the mind of Christ, the reason that You, put
this book in the Bible, what it has for us today. And because of
its theme, Father, we just want to begin by
praying for the marriages that are in our fellowship. We know that these
relationships have been, and are, and will be
under attack by the enemy, and even by the world
and its system around us. We know that norms, and
standards, and values will change like the
wind, but we also know Jesus Christ is the same
yesterday, today, and forever. So Lord as we are committed to
the unswerving principles that are found in
scripture, we just pray that we might gain more
insight into scripture, and especially, who You are,
in relationship to who we are. We ask it in Jesus's name, amen. Well, welcome to what Dr. J.
Vernon McGee called the most neglected book in scripture. It is a mysterious
book for some. It is an enigma. And I say that because
all you have to do is look at the interpretive
history of this book-- that is, the years and years that
commentators and interpreters, Jewish and Christian,
have looked at this book and tried to ascertain
why it was written, what is its meaning. And you will find all
sorts of disagreement. I hope, in part to overturn
some of the mystery-- and hopefully, you
will understand it. I had one of the guys in the
worship team just saying, I can't wait to get into
the Song of Solomon. I've read parts of it-- don't
quite get it or understand it. So I'm hoping that this
will change for some. There are people who view this
book as simply an allegory-- that is, it's words that
don't mean what they say. They mean they mean
something far different. So it's an allegory. And the ancient
Jewish rabbis even believed that this
is simply an allegory of God's love for his
nation, the nation of Israel. Others view the book
as an extended type. Now, you know what a
type is in the Bible. You have one thing or one person
as a type of another thing or another person. We can safely say that
Joseph is a type of Christ, that the lamb is a type of
Jesus Christ-- the Old Testament sacrificial lamb. There are many types. And some in the
Christian church have seen this as an extended
typology of Christ's love for His church-- the bridegroom, Jesus--
the bride, the church. I think it's OK to
acknowledge that Jesus Christ, as our bridegroom,
loves the bride, but I don't think you can
derive that principally from what this book was written
for in its original intent. Of course, Solomon would not
even know what a church was or who the Messiah would be. But it has been seen as
sort of an extended type. Others see the book
of the Song of Solomon as a drama, a poetic
drama between two printable characters,
Solomon and his bride. I fall into that category,
and I think you'll see why. The plain rendering
of the text, I think, leads you to see this
poetic expression written by Solomon
for his bride, and writing back her
response in a poetic fashion. So it is a poetic drama. Then there are
others who just see this as a collection
of Syrian wedding poems all put together-- just
kind of a mishmash of poetry from different times, and
from that general area, all stuck together. So this is why McGee called
it the most neglected book of the Bible. Now, that was when he was alive
and when he was writing books. Since McGee went to Heaven-- I don't know if you even
know who J Vernon McGee is. Some of us do because we were
sort of spiritually raised by him, with him on the radio. And he spoke here
many, many years ago. But since McGee
has gone to Heaven, I would say song of Solomon
has become a very popular book. There are churches
who decided to use that as sort of
their flagship study on marital intimacy,
prolonged study on sexuality, and they use the Song of
Solomon as their template. So saying it's the
most neglected book, I'm not so sure about anymore. One of the most
misunderstood books, yes, I would agree with that. You will notice how the
book begins in verse 1. It says, "The song of the
songs, which is Solomon's." Because of chapter 1 verse
1, there are two titles. Either one is appropriate-- either the Song of Songs-- that's its ancient title-- or the Song of Solomon,
its more modern title. Doesn't matter because
both are appropriate, because of verse 1. Solomon wrote it, so it
is the song of Solomon, but it is also called
the Song of Songs. Now, what does that mean? Well, whenever you find a word
repeated with a preposition "of" in the middle of
those repeated words, you are dealing with a
superlative in the language. It's the song of all songs,
the most important song. Just like you would
have the King of Kings, or the Lord of Lords,
or the Holy of Holies, you have the word repeated
twice with the preposition of in the middle of it. That indicates a
superlative nature. So this is, of all the
songs that Solomon wrote, this is his song of songs. You should know by
now that Solomon was very prolific as an author. And he wrote lots of
proverbs, and he wrote songs. The Bible says he
wrote 1,005 songs. Only one of them has
survived, and this is it. And it's good that it has,
because it's his best song. All you need is one good
song to launch your career. So he is a one-hit wonder, man. And this song survived. This is his superlative work. This is his Song of Songs. This poetic drama, this song-- also set in the
cadence of Hebrew parallelism, if you remember
back in our previous studies-- this one is mainly
between two people, although there are other
parties involved-- at least through three altogether. I would even concede more. But it's principally
between two people-- Solomon and a girl-- a girl from the town
of Shunem, called here the Shulamite bride. Now, Shunem is a little town
in the northern part of Israel, what we would call
today Lower Galilee. And when you come with
us to Israel next time-- we're going to be in there
February and March next year-- remind me, when we're on the
mount overlooking Nazareth and the Armageddon Valley-- remind me to point
out Shunem to you. I can see it in my mind's
eye, but when you stand there, I'll point it out to you. It's on a little
hill, and you can see the little
modern village today. She was from that
region up north in what will be called
the Valley of Armageddon-- in ancient times, the
Valley of Jezreel. Solomon, of course,
is from Jerusalem. And this is his relationship
with this Shunemite girl. Now, there's only one
problem with this book, this girl in this book. You read about it, and
you go, man, this guy loves this chick to the max. Wow, what a lucky girl. Well, maybe, at first. Because this is the Song of
Songs, because it is scripture, we can't be sure,
but many scholars believe this is
Solomon's first wife. Let's clear that up. It's before he married
699 other gals, and made a mess of his life. So it would make
sense, and yet it makes this story a little more
heartbreaking, doesn't it? Because here's this girl
saying, you're the only one, and Solomon's saying,
you're the only one, and yet, she wasn't
the only one. He will have 1,000
women altogether, with wives and concubines. But it could be this
is his first wife. And if that is the case-- and I tend to lean
in that direction-- we have before us God's
original intention in marriage. This is what he
intended it to be. Before you add the 699
others, this is just that one that God called. "A man shall leave
his father and mother, cleave unto his wife. The two shall become one flesh." We can't be certain-- again,
we're dealing with ancient poetry-- but it would seem as if the
book covers about a year's time to two year's time. It covers an engagement or a
courtship, a wedding ceremony, the honeymoon, and into
the marriage a little bit, even the resolution of a
conflict that they have, and then their commitment
toward a lifelong relationship. It takes place in two places-- as I mentioned, up north in
Shunem, the Jezreel Valley, and down south in Jerushalem-- Jerusalem, the City of Peace,
where Solomon's palace was. I think the best way
to look at this book, without seeing it as an
allegory, or an extended type, or a collection of
Syrian wedding songs-- just a straight forward
interpretation of this is a man's love for his
wife, and his commitment, and God's intention
for romantic love. As we get into this
book, I want to confess that I envy Adam somewhat. He had it easy. He didn't have to
search or wonder, who's the right girl for me? There was just him. And it says the Lord
created a woman, and brought the
woman to the man. So it's like there
weren't any chicks. God made one, and then put her
right in front of his nose. So if he was the most idiotic
person on Earth, he could go, I think that's God's
will for my life. He could figure that
out pretty easily. We don't have that
luxury, do we? It'd be nice, wouldn't it, if
you got a knock on the door-- angel of God, special delivery-- Why for so-and-so. Awesome. But we have a process we go
through, and in our culture, it's what we do, but it's
not the best process. It's called dating,
which usually involves hiding who you really are,
putting on your best look, putting your best foot forward,
and conning the other person into liking you, and
then really finding out who you are after you say I do. Things were far different
in the ancient Near East, when marriages were planned
by people who had experience, and it was done in a
very public setting and in a very
accountable setting. And that is the setting
we are dealing with. Now, I mentioned there's
three parts of this song. There's the engagement, the
wedding, and the marriage. Let me give it to
you in chapters-- chapter 1 verse 1
to chapter 3 verse 5 is that engagement,
that courtship. They're getting to
know each other. It gets serious. Then in chapter 3 verse 6
down to chapter 5 verse 1, we have the wedding, including
the wedding procession, the bed chamber-- the wedding night,
the honeymoon night-- and let me just warn you
in advance, if you've not read the Song of Solomon,
this book, in some parts, is rated R for realistic. And then there is number
three, the marriage. That's chapter 5 verse 2 all
the way to the end of chapter 8. We have seen before us what
God put in nutshell form in Genesis, leaving,
cleaving, and weaving-- leaving, cleaving, and weaving. Leave father and mother. Leave one relationship,
join to another, and weave threads of intimacy
throughout a lifetime. That's God's intention. So verse 1 chapter 1, the Song
of Songs, which is Solomon's. Immediately now, in
verse 2, the girl-- that girl from Shunem,
this country bumpkin, the Shulamite
soon-to-be bride speaks, and she speaks to herself. She says, "Let him kiss me
with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is
better than wine. Because of the fragrance
of your good ointments, your name is ointment
poured forth. Therefore, the
virgins love you." Now, the shoe the mite girl
is attracted to Solomon, but she wants
Solomon to initiate. She's talking to herself. She's going, oh
man, I'd like to get into a close relationship
with this guy, but I don't want to chase her. I want him to initiate. So look at verse
4, "Draw me away"-- that's the play-- "draw me
away, we will run after you. The king has brought
me into his chambers. We will be glad
and rejoice in you. We will remember your
love more than wine. Rightly do they love you." Who are they? They are all of the other women
who want to marry Solomon. They are the daughters
of Jerusalem. They will be mentioned. Now, daughters of
Jerusalem in this text will be used frequently. And when it is used,
it is either women in the court of Solomon, who are
servant girls, or simply just all the girls-- the single girls in Jerusalem. They're the daughters of Zion,
the daughters of Jerusalem, the female population
of the city. You'll notice in verse 3, "your
name is ointment poured forth." In the Old Testament especially,
when you see the word name, it stands for not just
what a person is called-- Solomon, in this case-- but what is behind the name,
the character of the person. That embodies the name. What attracts this girl to this
man at first is his character. Looks are temporary. A character last forever. You look at somebody and,
go, wow, she's a knockout-- OK, now get to know her. She may be a knockout
in her character, or she might want
to knock you out. And you could marry
her, and you're going to want somebody
to knock you out. So the way a person looks
is the initial attraction. It's the hook. It's the bait. And that's good. God intended that. He created that, by the way. But a personality you have
to live with for a long time. She notices his character-- your
name is ointment poured forth. Some of the best wedding advice
I ever heard put in quip form goes like this, "keep your
eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards." It's good advice. Learn as much as
you can beforehand, then afterwards,
you just sort of have to close him a
little bit and ignore some of the idiosyncrasies. Let it pass. Let it go. Let go of it. Don't hold onto the
grudge, and move on. She continues talking to
herself and about herself. "I am dark, but lovely,
o daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar." Kedar is Saudi Arabia, that
area, the Arabian Peninsula. The tents of Kedar
were made by nomads-- nomadic groups who
lived in the area-- and wove their tents with
black hair, the black wool of the black goats of the area. So the tents of Kedar
were black nomadic tents. If you go to Israel--
when you go to Israel-- we can show you
some of these tents still in use by the
Bedouins-- the tents of Kedar, the black tents. So she says, "I'm
dark, but lovely, o daughters of Jerusalem,
like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon." What she means is
I've gotten a tan from working out in the sun. Now, she says this
almost apologetically because, did you know,
in ancient times, it wasn't cool to have a tan? It's now cool. It's like, oh,
you're all suntanned. You look relaxed and
good with that tan. Back then, it was
sort of a shame, because it meant you weren't-- you had to work menial
job, because you had to work outside. And so she's sort of
apologizing for the fact that she's been in
the sun working. If you read on-- and we will-- it seems like her brothers,
her step brothers, made her work outside. Verse 6-- "Do not look
upon me because I am dark, because the sun has tanned me. My mother's sons
were angry with me. They made me the keeper
of the vineyards. But my own vineyard
I have not kept." So she's sort of giving us
insight into her home life. She's had to tend the
vineyard in her family up north in that area of Shunem,
the hill country of Shunem. But she's self-conscious
about her appearance. She has worked hard
outside tending the vineyard of
her family, but she hasn't tended her
own vineyard, meaning her own personal appearance. She's been unable to
attend to herself. It's funny-- not funny-- it's human nature that we
are self-conscious about how we look. We are. That's why we have mirrors. In every bathroom I've
ever seen in this country, we have mirrors. And in many cases, we have them
scattered throughout the house, just in case between
the bathroom, the bedroom, and
the living room, we didn't check
ourselves out enough. We make sure they're everywhere. And then we get in
the car, it;s like-- So we are a
self-conscious species. One of our problems is we
compare ourselves to others. And we have it bad
in our modern day and age with our modern
ability to watch so many movies and soap operas and see
stuff on social media. They've done study after study. Researchers have determined
that the more one watches TV movies, soap operas,
et cetera, music videos, the more self-conscious
and dissatisfied. They become with
their own looks. It's because they're seeing
a standard, a model of what is considered
beautiful or handsome, and because it is
played so often and we see it so often,
because we are not that, we've become very
self-conscious about our bodies. She says, verse 7, "Tell
me, oh you whom I love, where you feed your flock." It could be-- can't
prove it-- but it could be that Solomon is
interested in this girl, but went incognito,
disguising himself into this vineyard
attracted to this girl. Maybe it was his property
that he leased to her family. Thought she's a good looking
gal, so he disguised himself. So she wouldn't
know it's the king. And she doesn't know
it's the king at first. So she says, Tell
me, you whom I love, where do you feed your flock? You seem to look like
a shepherd-- disguised as a shepherd. "Where do you make
it rest at noon? For why should I be as
one who veils herself"-- meaning a prostitute. Prostitutes will cover
themselves and then pursue a man. "Why should I be as
one who veils herself by the flocks of
your companions"? So here's the deal-- she
wants to know this guy, but she doesn't want
to chase this guy. That's what prostitutes do. She wants, again,
him to initiate, and she is saying that
she values her own purity. One of the common
pitfalls, since we're talking about relationships,
in people getting married or getting married a second
time is moving too quickly, deciding too quickly,
feeling convinced that this is the
love of my life, I've never met
anybody like this. You do it very, very quickly. You don't want to
cover the time it takes to have their relationship
evaluated by people who are wise, and are
your friends, and who will scrutinize, and
will ask questions. And so people rebound very,
very quickly after a divorce or after a death of a spouse, or
they get married the first time very, very quickly. If a couple says they're ready
for marriage after two weeks, I'm leary-- or a month, I'm leary. I'm not saying it hasn't
worked out like that. I've seen a few times where it
really has worked out, but very rarely. It is the exception,
rather than the rule. It is much easier to
get into a relationship than it is to live
with a relationship. Easiest thing in the world
to get into a relationship. You can do that
in a couple hours. But then living with a
relationship is another issue. There was a study done at Kansas
State University about couples, and they noted a correlation
between the length of time a couple spends in dating and
marital satisfaction afterward. They said, and I'm
quoting, "Couples who had dated for more than
two years scored consistently high on marital satisfaction,
while couples who had dated for shorter periods scored
in a wide range from very high to very low." This is the initial part
of their relationship. Now, it gets more serious. Now, the dating, courtship,
relationship begins. We would say they're
going steady. Solomon speaks in verse 9, "I
have compared you, my love, to my Philly among
Pharaoh's chariots." You are like a horse. We do laugh at that,
because this guy needs some help in dating. He needs some
communication 101 classes. You don't start by saying,
honey, you remind me of Mr. Ed. You're like a horse. But you got to
remember something. One of Solomon's great
loves as king was horses. He collected them. He had stables all
over the country. And for a guy like Solomon, who
was a purveyor of fine horses. He's saying, you
stand alone among all of the women of the world. You are the cream of the crop. So I'll compare you to a Philly
among Pharaoh's chariots. Verse 10-- "Your cheeks
are lovely with ornaments, your neck with chains of gold." Now, the Shulamite bride
speaks, or the girl he's dating, who will be his bride. Verse 12-- "While the
king is at his table, my spikenard sends
forth its fragrance. A bundle of myrrh
is my beloved to me that lives all night
between my breasts. My beloved is to me a
cluster of henna blooms in the vineyards of Engedi." Back in the day, in
the Old Testament day, before there was perfumes
and colognes, to smell good and to cover up the
vineyards smell-- you've been working
in the vineyard all day and you've got
the smell of earth mixed with dung for fertilizer-- so you're going out on a date,
you've got to do something. So they would wear a
little sachet of blossoms, flowers, or in this case, myrrh. Myrrh's a gum that comes out
of a plant in the Arabian Peninsula, and it does smell-- it's beautiful,
and it covers up. So she's basically
saying, I smell good and I love your
cologne, would be more of a modern translation. "My beloved is to me a
cluster of henna blooms"-- white flowers-- "in the vineyards of Engedi." Now, Engedi is in the desert,
and when you go to Israel with us, we'll go to Engedi. And it's barren desert, but
flowers can grow in the area. So what she's saying to him is,
all other guys that I've seen are like the desert. You are like that
beautiful garden of flowers in the midst of the desert. You are singular. That also was a compliment. Now, Solomon speaks,
and they're speaking to each other in
more intimate terms in the next little
bit of a discourse. Verse 15-- "Behold,
you are fair, my love. Behold, you are fair,
you have doves eyes." So again, we read
that, and we go, huh? You remind me of a horse,
and you look like a bird. You got bird eyes. It doesn't sound romantic to
us, but I did a little reading on doves. And one of the interesting
characteristics of a dove, though they do have a sort
of peaceful looking eyes, in antiquity, a dove
was a complimentary bird to be called that. But doves, the way they move and
the way they focus their eyes, they can only focus on
one thing at a time. So it's like saying, I know
that you have eyes only for me. When you say, you have
dove's eyes, you're saying, I know that you have
a singular look. You don't notice everybody else. You're noticing just me. It's a beautiful,
beautiful description. You have eyes for me only. Now, the girl speaks. The Shulamite speaks. Verse 16-- "Behold, you
are handsome, my beloved-- yes, pleasant. Also, our bed is green. The beams of our house are
cedar, and our rafters of fir." They are now outside. They're out in the countryside. Their bed is green. They're probably having a picnic
out on a green grassy field. And above them are
fir trees, so it's like a cathedral with
beams of cedar, the trees all around them. It feels like a castle. Chapter 2 verse
4, "He brought me to the banqueting house"--
the banqueting house is up in Jerusalem-- "and his banner
over me was love." So they were in the
country at a picnic, but now he brings
her out in public. And as he brings
her out in public, he is willing to be
identified with her in public. So the commitment
is deepening, when it says he brought me
to the banqueting house. Now, Solomon is
speaking to these girls, either servant
girls in his palace or just the female
population of Jerusalem, called daughters of Jerusalem. Verse 7-- "I charge you,
o daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does
of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love
until it pleases." You know what that phrase means? It means love has its place
and love has its time, but don't stimulate
love prematurely. And it's good wisdom let
love have its growth, have its blossom,
but produce roots so the relationship will last. Now, as they are getting
to know each other, and they're longing
for each other, and they're longing
to be kissed, and longing to get
intimate, they're also realizing that
love to be right has to blossom in the right
place and at the right time. So here's the principle. God gave you your hormones and
God gave you your pheromones. and. I love that he did I
love the fact that there is, within the construct
of the nerve ending, the ability to inhale, and
chemicals are released, and you're breathing in
pheromone chemicals that make you more attracted to one
person over another because of the way they smell-- either
their perfume, or cologne, or just body odor,
or whatever it is. And so I love the fact that
God put hormones and pheromones within us as part
of the process. It's quite pleasant. The sexual impulse is God-given,
but because it is God-given, it must be God-guided. If the sexual impulse, which is
God-given, is not God-guided, you will find yourself
in a heap of trouble, because again, beauty is fading. Personality lasts a lifetime. I've often likened
the sexual impulse to fire-- fire in a fireplace. You put wood in a fire. Last couple days have been cold. It's kind of nice. We have an outdoor fireplace. I threw some wood in there. It's kind of nice to be warm. But if I decide to take
the burning wood out of the fireplace and put it on
my schedule in the living room, now that which was
beautiful in its context is now out of its
context and quite ugly and quite destructive. So fire in the
fireplace is good. Fire outside the
fireplace can destroy. Sexual impulse is
beautiful in its context. Out of its context, it
can and it will destroy. Proverbs 5, I'll
throw back to that, which we already covered-- Proverbs 5 verse 15
through 18, Solomon said, "Drink water
from your own cistern and running water
from your own well. Should your fountains
be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets,
let them be only your own. And not for strangers with
you, let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with
the wife of your youth." Good counsel, godly counsel. I only wish Solomon
would himself have followed that
his whole life. The point is this-- sex in a marriage-- did that just cut out? OK, sex in a marriage is
like drinking pure water from a well. Sexual sin is like drinking
polluted water from a sewer. That's the analogy of that
proper proverb, Proverbs chapter 5. One will delight you,
one will destroy you. One is a river, one is a swamp. Verse 14-- I like this-- "Oh, my dove"-- he called
her dove eyes, already but-- "Oh my dove, in the
clefts of the rock and the secret places of the
cliff, let me see your face. Let me hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely." Doves that are in the cliffs
of the rocks, they're hiding. If you want them to come out,
you need to coax them out. And I think the idea
is here is Solomon trying to get her to come
out of the cleft of the rock. Here is a man really
wanting to know who this woman is, so the
relationship can be tethered and can be deepened. He's trying to draw her out
and know everything about her. Peter said, husbands, dwell with
your wives with understanding, meaning, men, if you're
married to a wife, you need to become
an expert in her. You need to study that woman. I should become a Lenya-ologist. I should have studied
her so well that I know what makes her tick,
I know what she likes, I shouldn't be surprised,
at this time, by a reaction. Because you do well with that
woman with understanding. Learn as much as you can. And in the dating relationship,
learn as much as you can. Don't let it be a con job. Don't let it be put your
my best foot forward. Put your worst foot
forward so they can see the worst part of
you, so they can work it out. Because it's better to find
out now and work through it, if you can and are willing to,
rather than find out later. Oh, that's who you really are. Verse 15-- "Catch the
foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our
vines have tender grapes." In other words, I
don't want anything to ruin this relationship. Foxes can come into a
vineyard, into any crop that has grown, and can be
very destructive, if let loose. So chase the foxes away
in your relationship with your spouse-- foxes of
impurity, foxes of mistrust, of unresolved conflict. I've discovered, in looking
at a lot of marriages, that a divorce or a
separation is a slow leak-- seldom a blow out, almost
always a slow leak. And you just let it go
and go and go and go, and pretty soon, it's gone. So catch the foxes
while you can. Identify this problem. Work through a deal with it. Don't let it slide. Resolve the issue. They're going to have a
conflict in a little bit, and that's the idea. Catch the foxes before
they cause the conflict and the destruction. Like Martin Luther
used to say, you can't stop birds from
flying around your head, but you can stop them from
building a nest in your hair. Same principle. So that's the engagement,
or the courtship. Now comes the wedding, chapter
3 verse 6, chapter 5 verse 1. This is the wedding procession. This gal is picked
up at her home and she is taken
now to Jerusalem in Solomon's entourage. Chapter 3 verse
6, she says, "Who is this coming out of the
wilderness like pillars of smoke"-- What does that mean, though? She's looking in the horizon
and she's seeing either incense coming out of the
entourage of chariots or it's simply
just the dust that is kicked up by the
wheels of the chariot as you look at it
on the horizon. "--Perfumed with myrrh,
and frankincense, with all the merchant's
fragrant powders. Behold"-- or check it out-- that's how I like to
translate it-- check it out-- "it's Solomon's couch." The portable covered
throne of Solomon is coming to pick her up. Solomon isn't in there. He's down in Jerusalem,
but he's sending the limo to pick her up. "So behold, it's
Solomon's couch, with 60 valiant men around it." That's quite a bodyguard. But they have to make quite a
journey from up north to down south, so you have
an army to protect that would-be bride of Solomon. Verse 8-- "They all hold
swords, being expert in war. Every man has a
sword on his thigh, because of fear in the night." So these valiant men,
we would call them, in the New Testament, friends
of the bride and groom. But because they're
the king's friends, they are valiant fighting men. They are soldiers. They are well-equipped
they are well-armed. They are the
bodyguards Solomon has sent to protect that bride
going all the way down through the Jordan
Valley to Jerusalem. And it can get tricky. It was even in the
New Testament times. When you go from
Jericho to Jerusalem, you go through some of
those narrow passes, and that's where robbers
come and get you. That's why Jesus
gave the parable. A madman from Jericho to
Jerusalem or Jerusalem to Jericho and fell
among thieves-- the parable of the
Good Samaritan. So some of those
passageways is the very way this girl is going to
travel, and Solomon wants to make sure she is protected. It's a beautiful snapshot
of a marriage relationship, and the role of the
husband as the protector. It was Matthew Henry, an
old Bible commentator, who used to say woman was not
taken from man's head to be above him, nor was she taken
from man's foot to be beneath him-- walked on by him-- but she was taken from his
side to be protected by him-- from under his arm, near to
his heart, to be loved by him. Verse 9-- "Of the
wood of Lebanon, Solomon the King made
himself a palanquin." A palanquin is a covered
chair or a chariot. "He made its pillars of
silver, its support of gold." She's checking out the limo,
basically, going nice wheels. Inside and outside,
she's checking out the exterior, the
interior, support of gold, seat of purple, this
interior paved with love. "By the daughters of Jerusalem,
go forth, o daughters of Zion, and see King Solomon with the
crown, with which his mother crowned him on the
day of this wedding, the day at the
gladness of his heart." You see, she
recognizes who he is. She has an understanding. I'm just not marrying
a dude, a shepherd. I've discovered the shepherd
who came into my vineyard is actually the king of the
nation, of the 12 tribes. And as the king, he has a
certain status, and therefore, a certain responsibility. And I understand that
I'm married to him, and I understand that he
has responsibilities that'll take him away from home,
responsibilities as presiding over the court, et cetera. I know what I'm
getting into, and I know it's not going to be
easy kind of sharing him with the nation, but
she is recognizing that she is marrying
somebody of great importance. I always love what Ruth Graham,
the wife of Billy Graham-- both now and Heaven--
but Ruth did remark, when she was interviewed a
couple of times that Billy Graham, her husband, the famous
evangelist, was sometimes, in the olden days,
before airplane travel, when they traveled by ship,
often gone seven months out of a year-- hard on any marriage. I wouldn't even advise
that in any marriage. But they did it. They had an understanding of
God's call on both their lives. And she said, I admit-- in an interview-- I admit
that I'm often lonely, apart from my husband. And so what I do is
I go into his closet and I take some of his clothes,
like a sports coat or a suit, and I'll often sleep with it,
just so I have his scent there, those pheromones. I smell his cologne
and I smell his scent. As the press was
prodding and probing, that's hard, and have you
ever wanted to divorce him? She said, listen, I would
rather have Billy Graham 50% of the time than any other man
in the world 100% of the time. I thought that
was a good answer. I know what I'm getting into. I know the calling
of God in his life. I know it's not easy
for him or for me, but that's the calling
of God, and I'm willing to share
him with the world. I'd rather have him half time
than anybody else full time. So I think that's sort
of in the language here, as she recognizes what
this marriage is going to be. Now we come, in the wedding,
to the wedding night. This is where some guys
go, I love this part. It's the consummation
of the marriage. It's a very plain description
of the marriage bed. And you know what, I'm
glad it's in the Bible. It might make some of you blush. So be it. Maybe you need to blush. Maybe you need to get over the
fact that God invented sex, and He has it for our pleasure,
within the right context. Well, chapter 4 verse 1-- "Behold you are fair, my love. Behold, you are fair. You have dove's eyes"--
there he goes again-- "Behind your veil, your hair
is like a flock of goats." Now, goats, what color are they? [aUDIENCE RESPONSES] No, not sheep, goats-- OK, the goats that
make the tents of Kedar, what color are they? [aUDIENCE RESPONSES] So what color was her hair? [aUDIENCE RESPONSES] Very good. So your hair is like
a flock of goats "going down from Mount
Gilead," the flowing network of landscape that comes down
from that northern mountain peak. "Your teeth are like a
flock of shorn sheep." He doesn't mean you
have hairy teeth. I just wanted to say that,
hairy teeth, because that's just sounds so gross. So sheep are pretty
gross, especially before they're shorn. And they're pretty
like discolored, and kind of grayish, brownish. But once you cut all that back,
brilliant white underneath. So you have beautiful
white teeth, "which have come from washing"-- so you brush your teeth-- "each one of them bears
twins"-- so you've got symmetry to your smile-- "none of
them is barren among them. So they're clean, white,
straight, and none of them are missing. No partials, no dentures-- you're good to go. "Your lips are like a
strand of scarlet"-- beautifully-shaped red lips-- "Your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind her veil are
like a piece of pomegranate." You have high cheekbones
and ruby colored. You're stoked on that. Somebody was stoked on that, OK. "Your neck is like
the"-- just wait-- "Your neck is like
the Tower of David, built for an armory on
which have hung 1,000, all the shields of mighty men." So he lifts up her
veil, caresses her hair, and you'll see in the
next couple of verses, he, the husband,
undresses his bride. "Your two breasts are like
two fawns, twins of a gazelle, which feet among the lilies. Until the day breaks and
the shadows flee away, I will go to the
mountain of myrrh and to the hill of frankincense. You are all fair, my love,
and there is no spot in you." This is their wedding night. This is their lovemaking. Please notice how
gently he speaks to her. He's not rough. He's sweet. He's tender. He caresses her. He praises her. He is very gentle with her. When it comes to sexual
attraction and lovemaking-- this might help--
men are microwaves, women are crock pots. For a gal, it takes a while to
build up that intimate desire. For a guy, ready
to go right now. They're like, the microwave
just went on and off. For a woman-- and I think
Solomon understands this in the poetry of this book-- romance begins early in the day. Now, once again, if you think
that God is some stuffy prude, just read through this a
couple times on your own. You will see that, wow,
this is God's invention. CS Lewis made that point,
that God invented pleasure. He said it's the invention
of God, not the devil. In Genesis, it says God
made the male and female, and they were both
naked and what? Not ashamed. Adam and Eve were not ashamed. Neither should you be,
husbands and wives, in the presence of your spouse. However, I've told you
the story of my honeymoon, and my wife's
grandfather giving us the honeymoon suite in
Ventura, California, and we opened the door
to see gold cherubs, and pink, and red, and
gold wallpaper that was this weird texture,
and a mirror over the bed. And it was like, [RETCHING]. It was so hard to
just not do that. So a little bit embarrassing. Verse 12-- "A garden enclosed
is my sister, my spouse, a spring"-- shut up-- "a fountain sealed." You know what this means? It means this woman saved
herself for marriage. She put up a wall. Nothing could
penetrate that wall. She was in accessible
to other men. In other words, I
married a virgin. And he's praising her for that. Her body was sealed. Now, we're starting to get a
little bit of frame of God's will in a relationship. Simply put, it's abstinence
until marriage, fidelity within marriage, and then
the enjoyment of marriage. Have at it. The marriage bed is undefiled,
the writer of Hebrews said. Have a great time. Chapter 5 verse 1, the
second part of it-- I just want to show
this to you because it's an enigmatic phrase, and many
commentators skip over it. I don't want to do that. "Eat, oh friends, drink; yes,
drink deeply, oh beloved ones." Who's talking, and to whom? We don't know. Some believe it's Solomon
speaking to his friends, like hey, I'm going
to go enjoy my wife. You go enjoy the meal,
the wedding feast. Drink deeply. Have all the chicken
and steak you want. It's on me. Or something-- it's
his friends saying this to Solomon and his
bride, like go in and enjoy the marriage bed. Here's another thought. Some believe this is the one
place where God is speaking to the couple, saying
I've created this, I've ordained this,
now go enjoy this. "Eat, oh friends, drink; yes,
drink deeply, oh beloved ones." Did you know that there
is plenty of research that says the more spiritually
committed a couple is, the more sexual enjoyment
they have in a marriage? According to Redbook Magazine--
this is just one survey. I have Family Life
seminars and others. Don't have the time to
share them with you-- here's just one-- Redbook Magazine,
borrowing the research-- a sexual pleasure survey
was showing the preferences of 100,000 different
women noted, and I quote, "sexual
satisfaction is related significantly to
religious belief, with notable
consistency, the greater the intensity of a woman's
religious convictions, the likelier she is
to be highly satisfied with the sexual pleasures
of marriages," end quote. Solomon recognizes
this, and perhaps, God is affirming this
in this statement. Can't be sure it's
the Lord speaking, but it is in the Bible, so
as you read it and apply it, you could take this as
the Lord's words to you-- you with your wife,
you with your husband. "Eat, oh friends, drink; yes,
drink deeply, oh beloved ones." Now, we get the
final swath of this-- and I'm going to
move quickly here. This is the marriage. Chapter 5 verse 1 is
still the honeymoon. In verse 2 of chapter 5,
the honeymoon is over. She says, "I sleep,
but my heart is awake. It is the voice of my beloved. He knocks saying, open for me,
my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one, for my head
is covered with due, my locks with the drops of night." This gal obviously is
having a rough night. She's not sleeping. She tossing and turning. Something is bothering her,
some unresolved conflict, it would seem. Because Solomon comes, he
comes home maybe earlier than expected. He's in a romantic mood. Open the door, baby. She's not feeling it. Verse 3, listen to her excuse. This is her husband. She says, "I've taken
off my robe, how can I put it on again"? Really? You couldn't stumble in the
dark to find your bathrobe? How hard is that? That's a big impediment. OK. "I've taken my robe off,
how can I put it on again? I've washed my feet,
how can I defile them"? You would agree this is less
than an enthusiastic response toward her husband. Now, let me use this
as a jumping off point. Men, when there is unresolved
conflict in a relationship, your wife will not be
in a romantic mood. That's not the time
for love to blossom. So in that instance, when
there's unresolved conflict, a sexual advance will not
be well received by her. She wants to resolve
the conflict first. She will not see you as a
hunk a hunk of burning love. She wants you to sit down,
give her eye contact, and deal with the problem. Obviously, that
has not happened. Verse 4-- "My beloved put his
hand on the latch of the door, and my heart yearned for him. I arose to open for my beloved. My hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with liquid myrrh on the handles of the lock. I opened for my beloved, but
my beloved had turned away and was gone." So she unlocked the
door and he bolted. Sorry, pun intended. "My heart leaped
up when he spoke. I sought him, but I
couldn't find him. I called him, but he
gave me no answer." So by the time she gets
around to opening the door and looks around in
the hallway, he's gone. Verse 8-- "I charge you,
oh daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved,
she says, that you tell him I am lovesick." Now, I want you to
understand something. Conflict is so normal
in a relationship that two chapters
of this book are devoted to conflict and the
resolution of the conflict. Chapter 5 and 6 is about a
conflict and the resolution set out in poetic stance. So 25% of the book is devoted
to conflict resolution. That should tell
you that conflict is pretty normal
in a relationship, and resolution takes up a whole
lot of real estate and time to get it right. So I'm just looking
at, if you just look at the map of this
book and determine 25% is conflict and
conflict resolution, you go, wow, that could be an
indication of how much there will be in my marriage. Now, you have conflict in your
marriage for two reasons-- actually, for several. Can I just give
you two to start, then we'll stop and move on. Number one, because
you're human. So you're fallen. A marriage is two sinners
that are committed for life. How easy is that? So you're human. And number two,
you're different. Opposites attract. You are different. It's what brought you together. But because you're a human
and because you are different, you will have conflict. You cannot have two
strong-willed independent people who merge their streams
together without volatility and currents. You're going to have some upset. Chapter 6 is the resolution. Just look down to
chapter 6 verse 3. She's now saying,
"I am my beloved, and my beloved is mine." Chapter 6 verse 4 is
the return of Solomon. From verse 4 onward, they start
not speaking about each other or to the daughters
of Jerusalem. They're now speaking
to each other. And as they're
speaking to each other and the conflict
gets resolved, they end up using the same mushy
language that they used back in chapter 4. So they get back to a good
space in a good place, that they're
obviously fixing it. I would sum it up
by saying they've walked through
their difficulties, they've worked out
their differences, and love has won the day. That's the goal in a conflict. There is a goal. When you have a
conflict, there's a goal. You know the goal is? And don't say to win. The goal is not
to win the fight. The goal is to win a friend. And one of you wins the
fight, you both lost. If you win the
friendship, you've won. It's not to win a fight. It's to win a friend. So it is true-- you can walk hand in hand
without seeing eye to eye. It happens all the time in
good, solid, mature marriages. But you have to
resolve conflict. So the conflict gets resolved. Chapter 7 and 8 is
about committed romance. Love matures, it's a
romance based on commitment, rather than hormones
or a temporary feeling. We don't know, but
perhaps this is a year or so after the honeymoon. She, in chapter 8 verse 6-- "I set a seal upon your
heart, a seal upon your arm, for love is as strong as death,
jealousy as cruel as the grave. It's flames are flames of
fire, a most vehement flame." That could indicate what the
problem was of the conflict. Verse 7, "Many waters
cannot quench love, nor can floods drown it. If a man would give for love
all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised." In other words,
it's worth whatever you have to pay to engender
love, resolve the conflict. And she's, in that poetic
way, saying, let me be your most prized possession. Let our love be your
most prized possession, your treasured prize. Verse 10-- "I am a wall,
my breasts are like towers, and I become in his eyes
as one who found peace." Again, she's kept herself for
him through that conflict. "Solomon had a vineyard
in Baal-hamon"-- perhaps that's the one that
her family rented and leased, and she worked in-- "he leased
the vineyard to keepers"-- that could be her family. "Everyone was to bring for
its fruit 1,000 silver coins. My own vineyard"--
that's her own body-- "is before me. You, oh Solomon, may
have 1,000, and those who tend its fruit 200." So Solomon, you
have great wealth. All I have to give is me,
and I give all of me to you. That's your way of saying that. Look at verse 14-- we're
ending the book on time-- "Make haste, my beloved. Be like a gazelle,
or a young stag on the mountains of spices." She wants him. She longed for him
in their courtship, she longs for him with
the same intensity in their marriage relationship. Getting married is easy. Staying married
is more difficult. Staying happily married
for a lifetime is considered among the fine arts. Easiest thing in the world--
plan a wedding get married. Hardest thing-- stay married. Harder yet-- stay
happily married. Takes work. Takes conflict resolution. Now, there is a corollary. Though it's not about
Christ in the church, there is a corollary. And just like she
says, oh, I long for my groom, and I long
for my groom to return, that's our refrain, is it not? She says, "Make
haste, my beloved." That's what she says in verse
14, last verse of the book. "Make haste, my beloved. Hurry up. Come back." Last book of the Bible, chapter
22 of the Book of Revelation-- "Even so, come, Lord Jesus. We say, oh Lord, come quickly." The bride awaiting
the bridegroom. I want to conclude with
something that Dr. HA Ironside, Harry Ironside, who many of
you do not know or have heard of-- but some of you have-- he was a pastor. He pastored the Moody
Church in Chicago, pastored the Salvation
Army churches before that, wrote books,
commentaries, et cetera-- said this about the book--
he sums up the whole book, I think, nicely-- "King Solomon had a vineyard
in the hill country of Ephraim, 50 miles north of Jerusalem. He lent it out to
keepers consisting of a mother, two sons, and
a daughter, the Shulamite. The daughter was a
Cinderella of the family, naturally beautiful,
but unnoticed. Her brothers were
likely half brothers. They made her work very
hard tending the vineyards, so that she had
little opportunity to care for her
personal appearance. She pruned the vines and set
traps for the little foxes. She also kept the flocks. Being out in the open so
much, she had a deep tan. One day, a handsome stranger
came to the vineyard. It was Solomon disguised. He showed an interest in her,
and she became embarrassed concerning her
personal appearance. She took him for a shepherd
and asked about his flocks. He answered evasively, but
also spoke loving words to her and promised rich
gifts for the future. He won her heart, and
left with the promise that someday, he would return. She dreamed of him at night, and
sometimes thought he was near. Finally, he did return, in
all his kingly splendor, to make her his bride." He beautifully summed
up the whole book. Then he said this-- "This prefigures
Christ, who came first, as shepherd, and won his bride. And later, He will
return as King, and then will be consummated
the marriage of the lamb." I love that corollary. Though the book didn't have
that in its original intent, I think we can retrospectively
look back safely and go, I see the corollary. I see the fit. And all I know is,
like the bride, I say, oh, Lord, come
quickly, Lord Jesus. And Father, that's
what we end with. We end with our hearts' cry-- come quickly, Lord Jesus. Lord, the longer we
live in this world, and we hear the unsympathetic
cries of people around us, the world around us,
we pray that you would help us keep ourselves for you. As we opened up
praying for marriages, we now pray for a spiritual
fidelity among those of us who are believers,
that we would be faithful and true to You, our
great bridegroom, Jesus Christ. May we be a bride without
blemish until the day You return. In Jesus's name we pray, amen. We hope you enjoyed this message
from Skip Heitzig of Calvary Church. For more resources,
visit CalvaryNM.church. Thank you for joining us for
this teaching from The Bible from 30,000 Feet.
