Soldiers Talk About The Funniest Punishments By A Superior (r/AskReddit)

military personnel of Reddit what's the best slash weirdest slash funniest punishment you've seen handed down by a superior Ozma clear in our unit we had one guy that would constantly hum songs well one day our Co had enough of his behavior so he tells him to report to his locker so he goes to his locker and stands in front of it co tells him to get inside the locker when he does he shuts and locks the door with him inside he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a quarter and pushes it through the vent holes and tells a guy to start singing and tells him that whenever someone puts a quarter in the slot he was to sing another song this went on for six hours the guy made around 15 bucks in quarters and we were all in pain from laughing at him needless to say he acquired the name jukebox and never hummed again what are they going to do bend my dogtags take my birthday away chuckle chuckle uhm yep apparently a Navy captain did just that once on purpose by deliberately sailing parallel to the International data line then slipping across it right on midnight tomorrow suddenly became yesterday and no birthday for you this year yeah chucklehead during be stats you suffer one of my fellow cadets started laughing at one of our flight NCOs whistling that to the left to the left song Karda went off on him basic cadets no are you laughing yes sir why are you laughing do you know what happened today no see Bruce Willis died today do you hate Bruce Willis no sir then why are you laughing at his death no excuse see today is a day of national tragedy we need to memorialize his death pick up one of those rocks duh so this is now the Bruce Willis memorial Rock what should we name it sir I do not know we are gonna name it Bruce from now until the end of basic you will carry Bruce with you at all times if I ask you how Bruce is doing you will show me Bruce and sound off yep okay I a sir do you understand yes sir how's Bruce yep okay ia sir a new semi basic training one soldier lost his canteen and asked the drill sergeant if he had seen it the drill was angry at this for some reason and made the private wonder around for a few hours asking all kinds of inanimate objects if they had seen his canteen so things like truck have you seen my canteen got caught on basic with my iPod and I ran around the camp for near two hours with my iPad over my head shouting I'm a stupid F asterisk asterisk a for bringing my iPod in the field as the enemy was attacking our camp I then proceeded to put my iPod in a plastic bag then taped it onto my helmet and from there on I responded to private iPod when my instructor shouted clay I had to sing skip I had to switch song et Cie it lasted two weeks even during the night when I had one to two hours to sleep guy in basic drop the biggest turd you've ever seen in the commode so he shows the drill sergeants who then make him suit up in full combat gear weapon and all and guard it all night the whole halt who goes there pretty amusing my brother told me that when he was in basic a drill sergeant yelled at this guy to beat his face meaning to do push-ups said guy had no clue it meant that and promptly punched himself in the face really really hard and fell to the ground the drill sergeant had to walk that one off and my brother said you could hear him laughing hysterically as he walked behind a building not totally relevant that I figured I'd share marine boot camp we had a guy that somehow got his watch through the undock they take all your crap when you first get there well that is found out he had it when they saw him wearing it one day so they put him in the squad bay trashcan and put the lid on it every time they walked by and kicked it he popped out with his watch and yell sir the time on deck is zero 9:45 and then go back into his can like the freaking Grouch from Sesame Street it was really really hard not to laugh at that I was in a gender mixed company in basic third floor of the barracks were split with females on one half and males on the other males were not allowed in the female half and vice versa my platoon was out back practicing throwing grenade bodies and a window on the female side of the third floor opened and a male sneaked out of the window onto the ledge it was immediately obvious to everyone including our drill sergeant that he had been in there messing around with a female and a drill sergeant must have come down the hall forcing him to get out onto the ledge so he wouldn't get caught a drill sergeant looked at the guy for a minute and then yelled really sarcastically don't do it private you have lots to live for then they put him on suicide watch and made him hand over his belts and tie and shoelaces and everything that he could hang himself with and made him drag his newly bare mattress out into the hallway next to the fire guard desk and sleep out there every night until we graduated four weeks later and they made his battle buddy sleep on the floor next to him for the first week a fellow Lance Corporal at the time let out a sneeze huge snot rocket pops out and lands on his cheek I mean just one beast of a thing my surgeon standing in front of him talking to him while this happened let out a what the you nasty bitch put it back and right back up it went funniest I have seen in the Marine Corps when we really up we would go fishing it is where you squat down like you're sitting in a chair and hold a shovel out in front of you in the air like a fishing pole then you just sit there for a long time and if the shovel would start to droop down my sergeant would grab the tip of the shovel and start to shake it and make me pretend I was reeling in the big one one time me and a buddy got in trouble together so they made him fish and me flop around on the deck like a fish he had already caught for almost an hour one of my friends from my first base and I was swapping basic stories and I think he had the scariest on the first day of third week they hadn't performed up to standards and the MT I told them he'd be staying late that night to try to fix them the MDI calls his wife to let her know he'd miss dinner and would be home late and she blew the up she was screaming at the MTR about how he's just using his job as an excuse how he doesn't even care about her and what all this is going on the MTI is just pleading with her she hangs up on him and the MTR looks at the flight with this expression of cold hate and says he was going to his office for a minute to think of an appropriate way to punish the flight for their basic training is a lot of talk them Siskin part you until your body gives out and scream at you but they can't actually hurt you in that moment though as the rim waited for the MTI to come back they weren't so sure that would be the case he was going to make them pay and my friend said that was the only time in basic he felt true fear it turns out it was all an act the MT I had had that genuinely happened during a previous flight and it had terrified them into compliance so well he got his wife to pull it off every flight afterwards when someone got caught going the wrong way or cutting in the chow line in a suit basic for infantry the drill sgts would make them wonder about that random repeating beat beep wrong way it was totally quiet otherwise and they seemed like broken robots on the final FTX of a basic I was teaching a few years ago one of less brilliant troops decided to take his laptop which he'd smuggled into the field for this exact purpose with him into a blue rocket port-a-potty so he could jerk off to obnoxiously loud asian porn the idiot left his c9 on the wrong side of the door though and forgot it there when he came out one of my Jack's junior NCOs found it and brought it back to the CP and I naturally brought buddy in to explain himself the smartest trooper Luke decided it had be clever to explain to us exactly what he'd been doing not that there'd been any doubt in the hopes that we'd be too embarrassed to do anything about it I drew up an access list and made him stand watch on the blue rocket tactical for the next eight hours with explicit instructions not to let anyone in until they signed a visitor's log we all had fun watching the brigade sergeant major tell him to get the out of my way before I in your hat ass mcboot one kid on fire watch failed to notice the D coming on deck which means you immediately salute and report your post so that he ran up to the rifle rack smacked it and yelled BAM you're dead he tried to respond but was cut off by the D you're a ghost now you can't talk Gill act like a ghost then the kid had to wander around the squad bay for the rest of his two-hour fire watch acting like a ghost and he took that responsibility with a stride plenty of ridiculous oh where where where where where where where well I'm a duelist noises and with people's racks we were all laughing our asses off for the next tower tool our senior got pissed another from basic was there a private was caught walking to the showers without wearing his clothes just holding his towel and walking nude the showers were in the same bay and it was just males in the bay but a female drill from another platoon came in and saw him and made him drop and give 50 push-ups while nude we were deployed in Iraq and a guy was pissing in water bottles instead of walking to the bathroom at night this is a common thing but this guy wasn't getting rid of the bottles he'd keep them underneath his cot for some reason when the First Sergeant found this out he made the guy report to the commander while holding all of his piss bottles in a box in front of him they tore into this guy while he was holding a box of his own urine officers can't punish soldiers with any punishment that doesn't follow guidelines that said they can be ordered some stupid things my friend got ordered to move a box weighing about 50 pounds from the barracks to the shower every two minutes for two hours the officers reason for it was because he didn't know where to put it and was trying to decide if it should be at the barracks or the shower in the end he ended up telling him to load it up in the truck week 1 an army basic training we had a soldier asked for an omelet in chow line which was not allowed because there was absolutely no time to make custom omelets for every single basic training soldier the cooks started making the omelet when a drill sergeant asked what the hell was going on the basic training soldier replied go around drill sergeant I'm waiting on an omelet needless to say this was the wrong thing to say and do week one in basic training our platoon motto was henceforth go around drill sergeants I'm waiting on an omelet in the basic training soldier was henceforth named private omelette you Sofia I'm sure there are better ones than this repressed in my memory somewhere but this one stands out as the funniest in basic if you got pictures in the mail that he had to look through them to make sure they weren't corn or whatever so people are handing him pictures to look through and he's looking through them feet up on the desk ray-ban rapper rounds up on his forehead chillin and in one of them it's the trainee in question with friends throwing up Westside tea asks Westside trainee says yes sir tea replies on your face trainee starts doing push-ups he looks through the pictures a little more looks down at the trainee and says Eastside we were acquired to wear Don tags but keep them tucked inside our shirts at all times and some idiot was walking around with his hanging out and got them spotted by a particularly vindictive T vindictive T told him to start pushing no do not put your dog tags away every time they touch the ground and ding you say ding fries are done friend of mine was randomly placed in a spec ops flight which is usually a flight full of aspire and combat controllers para jumpers et si but this one wasn't completely full so they back filled with some non spec ops folk in a how people trying to be in spec ops jobs have to pass what are essentially the regular part standards before they can even show up to basic pass tests so by about week four push-ups is a punishment wasn't doing anything to anyone instead that he would single out whoever messed up go to their wall locker and start unrolling and unfolding their meticulously hand-rolled and wrinkle free t-shirts and socks and things a guy I worked with had a habit of falling asleep at his desk he was a real scumbag unfortunately he was also a one-star general son they made him sit at his desk with one of those exercise yoga bull things the still fell asleep but he would hit his head on the desk or fall over he also decided to tell his supervisor he had an appointment but instead suck a nap in his room they called the cops on him and had him arrested for dereliction of duty fun stuff in basic when going to throw out some trash left my rifle which you are not supposed to do myself and two of my buddies had to hold on to our assault packs in one hand like a shield and long sticks in the other like a spear then we had to stack up and align on a tree and push with our shields for five minutes with our spears raised yelling walkers apparently the Spartans did this for training and apparently if I don't have my rifle in a combat situation I will need to know how to do this I have an opposite story where we punished our superior when I was in South Korea in the mid 2000s we had an absolutely of a left tenant he walked around like his didn't stink thought he knew everything there was to know pretty much like most LTS one weekend a bunch of us were walking back from the PX loaded up with beer and snacks for the weekend like each of us had at least a case of beer and a few bags each hands were totally for our LT walks past us and we nodded and said sir instead of saluting most officers won't make you put down all your just to salute at least the good ones this guy flips out about us not saluting and proceeds to part the out of us for about 13 minutes after that it was on any time we saw this guy we would grab everyone we could form a line with about 20 feet distance between each person and walk towards him he would have to salute every single one of us it didn't matter where he was when we saw him we had about 20 soldiers be lining towards him just to salute the best was when he was on his cell phone cause he would have to put it down every 10 seconds just to salute all of us this went on for about three weeks him saluting everyone all the time every single day he finally got tired of it and asked us not to salute him anymore

Channel: ToadFilms

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Keywords: soldiers, funniest punishments, funniest, punishments, by a superior, funniest punishments by a superior, reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, Updoot Reddit, TZ Reddit, soldier, army

Id: 7ncbDLDxBOY

Length: 14min 50sec (890 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 06 2019