You try to cut my team in half so I outsourced your WHOLE department! | r/ProRevenge | #070

hey everybody rob from karma comic chameleon coming at you with another Pro revenge story this one is probably the most brutal probe revenge that I have read on Reddit in the whole time I've been on there you try to cut my team in half so I outsource to your entire department let's jump right in this tale takes place over the course of many months and resulted in over 150 layoffs all to save 22 I T Tech's from losing their jobs I learned a long time ago that no one cares about the IT team at our company they see us as those useless employees always complaining about rules we are a mortgage company and those rules are the rules everyone follows to protect customer data privacy and to prevent theft when your company suddenly loses two full payments for a house to some scammer in Nigeria and the FTC has questions for you then it's time to change your policies this meant cutting legacy access revoking unnecessary access and correctly coding job titles in Active Directory to prevent people from granting their own access what this boiled down to was a meeting that I phoned into a year ago this was one of those meetings where I did not need to be there budget meetings in this meeting the VP over the accounting department played a recording showing times when someone in the IT tech team provided subpar service she tried using this as a reason to fire half of the tech team the trouble was that all of the people she played recordings of were already fired for giving terrible customer service these people were replaced by five-star techs who know what they are doing and give excellent customer service this started the whole chain of events that led to last week since this meeting was every two months VP has tried to use her position and influence to grow her team while shrinking ours every budget meeting I would show up and VP who shall hence be referred to as care would target my team I would pull out the numbers and pull out the log showing how my team received a little over three-quarters of that team's call volume I showed how my team of 22 techs personally received more phone calls than every other inbound call employee by more than double the number I show how with the call volume rereceive we still maintain a 98% satisfaction rating at the third budget meeting the CEO had been tired of hearing the same excuses and wanted hard data he had a point I was merely throwing out basic numbers without providing real data our company was in the middle of a budget crisis and someone needed to be cut these budget meetings were basically a way to defend our own department from the chopping block Karen believed that the best defense was a good offense she was right but not in the way she thought when it became clear that the IT support team was on the chopping block Karen starts to have her employees call into the tech center and have them make requests that she knows we cannot assist with as that is handled by another company entirely we are not able to transfer calls to an external line so the only thing we can do is give the number to call and hang up the negative CSAT started to flood in after this every single call from that team regarding a vendors password reset gets a negative C set our approval rating tank to 72 percent in one day I instantly took action first I contacted a few of the users on recorded calls and asked them why they called the IT tech team when they knew we were not capable of resetting the vendors password she replied that she was told it was policy to do that now I asked why she left a negative satisfaction rating and she said that those no longer count against the employee that those are only used for macro metrics I walked over to Karen's office and walked in Karen why are you having your team call mine to reset vendors password Karin looked confused and stated that she did no such thing she said she would talk to her team and make sure that they call the correct number in the future the calls did not stop now a few of her team were calling in with personal machines that were not an asset of our company they were wanting things done which would violate license agreements with Microsoft or Dell each of these were refused and each of these were leaving negative cset it became clear that Karen was trying to tank our stats before the next budget meeting I let my boss know and he just gives me a sly smile the leash is off sicker this is an inside joke between us as I am someone who is very detail-oriented when I am focused when you try to get my team fired because you want to grow your useless team I am very focused on you now the first thing I do is enable call recording for every corporate employee as to not arouse her suspicions her team did not have call recording enabled because her team handles CDP on a daily basis I pull a live call and listen in this is employee with our company may I have your account number or your name the customer gives the name ok I have your account pulled up are you wanting to make a payment customer says yes are you authorizing me to go ahead and make the withdrawal from the bank account we have on file customer agrees ok payment is processing you will be notified in Ex days when it is complete your next due date is this date the customer thanks her and he hangs up entire phone call was one minute 22 seconds short phone call so I listen to another similar situation I listen to another and get the same thing I start seeing a pattern here so I go through the rapidly building log and see that all of the phone calls are usually less than 1 minute and 20 seconds long it takes well over an hour before an anomaly occurs I see a 5 minute phone call the customer needed an extension and the employee was authorized to give her a 30-day extension to avoid a late fee if she would make a double payment neck month the person on the phone agreed at this point I also turn on the CSAT for her team only I expected a largely similar rating as my team I was not prepared for the nearly instant 50% rating that steadily dropped my boss comes over to my desk as he was getting the email notifications for the sub 75% CSAT rating and was flabbergasted at the sheer volume of negative reports it's now clear that there is no choice but to examine this further I assigned four people to review the negative calls from the other team and have them all the amount of employees being downright rude to customers not other employees but paying customers over the phone was shocking the negative tones in their voice the unwillingness to fully answer questions the extreme lack of empathy and the shocking lack of mute button use was too much then came another shocker the number of customer facing employees was ridiculous 152 employees to handle roughly 30% more calls than my team of 22 I call the CIO what have you got for me I have something for you it's incredibly evil depressingly accurate and can probably save the company a ridiculous amount of money you know this is the second time you have said those exact words to me right yep but there's something I need to know first I am NOT currently authorized to know it and I need to request it in a way that would not set off any red flags what is that the starting pay scale for all account employees tell me your plan the next budget meeting was not a budget meeting it was an IT tech defend yourself meeting the CEO Oh directed it and let Karen speak first Karen pulled out the same stuff as before calls upon calls to our group that were cherry picked as well as listing off dead zone times when we had people working but no one calling in then went on about how they could cut our group in half and hire more account employees to reduce the workflow instead of defending myself or my department I played four of the short call recordings from Karen's Department I then pulled up the excel sheet that was color coded showing how many phone calls each account rep received and the length of time they were on each call and the customer satisfaction rating I explained the lack of high CSAT with my own little recording I like to call a Phil Tosh it's a montage of fail and her team were the stars before you asked I did put music to it the recording starts off with an employee saying yeah I guess I can take your payment then go straight into one where a customer accidentally gave the wrong bank account info and said don't use that one the rep responded with Christ what is the actual account number it only got worse from there this group was unmanaged for so long they were filled with rude and useless employees I then showed them a side-by-side comparison of each tech who received a call I showed how my Tech's were receiving more than four times the number of calls per rep then her team was getting her day I showed how we all were on the phone for well over seven times the amount of time her team was on the phone for and I demonstrated how each tech had double or triple the satisfaction rating overall of her group half of the room that was uninterested in the conversation were suddenly interested when I closed out my presentation in short I saw no reason to defend the IT team today as I have successfully done so in every prior meeting since the last meeting however Charon has crossed the line and has had her team call mine in regards to things we have no access to I played the recording of me calling her minion as you can see here she directed her team to call mine and to leave bad satisfaction ratings on my guys because of it I have since deleted those see SATs as they serve no purpose whatsoever I then pulled out my next flow chart this is the monthly expense taken from the last nine meetings that our company spends on and servicing departments I look at the CEO who was looking at me intently before today I was on the defensive as I saw no reason to attack another group but it is clear to me now that my team has a target on its back that is why I now show you this it was a graph showing the starting pay scale for each IT and servicing employee code as well as their average daily work flow there was one glaring anomaly on this list account Department had the highest starting pay scale with the least amount of work so basically in layman's terms the account department can reduce to one tenth of its current size and we can reduce the pay scale to a little over 1/2 as this department requires very little in the way of problem solving and critical thinking I saw a few raised eyebrows as well as one impressed smile from the CIO the CEO oh uh sure's everyone out of the room except for me my direct supervisor and the CIO he looks at me and said continue further we can cut this department entirely and outsource of them instead of IT since this group merely takes payments and sometimes allows extensions we do not have to worry too much about technical ability outside of simply using Windows we can hire high schoolers if we wanted to this got a laugh from the CIO Tarun was staring through the window with this smug grin on her face the entire time now for my final bit for this meeting I'm gonna play to cherry-picked phone calls these are the two most technical phone calls I could find from the last month for both departments I play a call where a payment fails to process and the rep realizes she typed in the wrong number I then play a call where it starts out with a user stating that her customer submitted a payment to the wrong CD the tech breaks out into our procedure to prevent wire fraud thanks to the quick action of this tech we were able to reverse the CD and save this customer from losing their down payment the final masterful stroke was playing my final card as you all know karen has been coming after my team for months she has been grinding her acts against us because she like everyone else has made the mistake that we are incompetent inept and useless to the company what she did not know was that I have all of the logs showing the truth the smoke she had been blowing for years is so thick that it's ridiculous her team is highly replaceable and we both know my team would require extensive training and effort to replace the CIO spoke up with just 30 people we can outsource her entire department and save the company millions a year the next time we have a major IT issue you would be regretting outsourcing us he then pointed to the graphs and flowcharts brought by both myself and Karen her team is useless the next day I watched in pure joy as a term requests came in for Karen it came in with the double asterisk indicator at the beginning meaning this was a stealth term to be done and coordinated with the person who will inform her of the termination it's not actually double asterisk I changed that for here to protect identities over the next two months the account team was shuttered first they came for anyone with disciplinary issues or attendance issues then they laid off anyone who had been there a really long time then the newest employees the smart ones applied for other positions in the company or left before getting laid off all the while the calls for payments were slowly shunted to the call center in India by the end of last week we only had four domestic accounts people who take escalations that the india call center is not authorized to take do I feel guilty about being integral for a hundred and forty-eight people being laid off yes quite but I know it was necessary to keep my job and my health insurance without my health insurance I am a dead man the entire reason why this happened though was because a division was slated to be cut and sent to India from the outset thanks to the actions of myself and my direct supervisor we prevented it from being a sure thing the our team was going to get cut on top of that we cut out a festering wound in the company that was slowing it down and costing it money my team has not been brought up in the budgetary meetings since that Karen had no idea what she was getting herself into when she tried to take on that IT department IT one accounts zero this is Rob from cama cama chameleon saying thanks for watching remember to subscribe like and share the video with your friends and we'll see you in the next one

Channel: Karma Comment Chameleon

Views: 1,041,274

Rating: 4.2927771 out of 5

Keywords: karma, comment, chameleon, karma comment chameleon, reddit, funny, funny reddit, reddit funny, top posts, reddit top post, best of reddit, comedy, comment awards, r/, rslash, pro, revenge, prorevenge, pro revenge, nuclear, nuclearrevenge, nuclear revenge, r/prorevenge, r/nuclearrevenge

Id: b-SEYRC8rn0

Length: 15min 55sec (955 seconds)

Published: Fri May 03 2019