- Hello. And welcome
back to Jarvis Johnson. Gold. The premium channel that is free. It is free, but if you're watching this your premium. And I'm Jarvis. Before we get into this video
I have a couple of things to mention. One, if you're
watching this video right now, right after the video finishes, so definitely finished watching
it, I'm going to be live over on twitch.tv/magicjarvis. That's me. And I will be opening
up PO box letters and hanging out, answering questions. It's Saturday morning, it's
going to be a good old- It's going to be a old fashioned time. I'm going to be wearing these clothes. My room is hopefully
going to be less messy. That's what I've got to do after this. But this video is not about my room, it's about a bored Panda.
Or a channel, Facebook page. I don't know, called Bored Panda. This video is filmed the
same day as the last video. So you'll notice I'm
wearing the same clothes. Jordan's still there as the voice of God. And we have a grand old time. Had some technical difficulties.
I accidentally made Jordan and the computer audio
on the same audio track. So, can't separate those while editing. So you'll notice some
roughness around the edges, but hey, we're learning. And if you want to keep
learning with me, you can head over to the stream
or just keep watching the premium gold channel because
it is both of those things. Without further ado, enjoy, okay? Can't wait for Jarvis
to discover Bored Panda. I actually have discovered Bored Panda. It's just that so many of
these life hack channels are like the same. This is
about sneaking food into the gym I feel like the only people
buying the stickers that say "no food allowed", "no drinks
allowed", are the people filming these videos about
sneaking food into places. The plan is to lick her arm
while she's like running then. - [Jarvis] I guess. - [Jordan] To lick her sweaty, sweaty arm. - Also. Have you ever seen
like, someone as animated - [Jarvis] Yeah. Correct.
- [Jordan] That's about right. - Yeah. That it the correct response. - Wait, is this a sweet
potato or a corn dog? I guess it's a corn dog
- I think it's a corn dog - [Jarvis] It's too smooth. - [Jordan] Or it's a very strong woman. - [Jordan] Is this a common
problem that needs resolving? How do I get food into the gym? - Yeah, clearly. - [Jordan] But you can obviously say like, some of this stuff's deliberately
crazy cause they just want the clicks and nobody
would actually do it. They're just joking
around. But like, even then in my wildest dreams I
couldn't think of this. - [Jarvis] If you're just
going to take food into the gym and eat it while
stationary, why did it need to be attached to a jump rope? Like, you know, like- - [Jordan] Excuse me, do
you have, oh no. She's just chewing on her jump rope handle. - You are not allowed to eat.
Oh no, no. That's a jump rope. Oh no. A jump rope. You're
chewing on the jump rope handle? That's normal. - [Jordan] (indistinct) - [Jarvis} Fondant? Oh, fondant,
like what you put on cakes? - [Jordan] This is nice
cause it'll it'll have the smell of the old spice too. - Oh God. Why don't- - [Jordan] Don't do it. Wait, is it- - [Jarvis] By the way,
YouTube thumbnail right here. - [Jordan] Oh yeah. - This is also reminding me
of when I was in high school. There's this girl who would take like, eat a like, a package of
frosting, just like spoon it in the morning and it,
you know, no shade to her. No, I'm not trying to shame her but - [Jordan] No kink shame. - It grossed me out, personally. It was like a thing that
I'd never seen eaten by itself before, you
know? It felt like a raw- - [Jordan] It's a challenging choice to be sure. It's also, to do it at school is even more ambitious and admirable. (music) - Is that guy looking
longingly? Like, "ah, I love to watch a man eat deodorant." - [Jordan] (laughs) There he is again. Another European haircut
if I've ever seen one. - [Jarvis] This guy looks like a Beck Bennett character from SNL. (both laugh) - [Jordan] And the server
kind of looks like Kyle. A tall Kyle. - Oh man. This is a good neighbor sketch. Ah, true love. - [Jordan] It looks the same too. - Also yeah. Why is he wearing
the same clothes as this guy? Is that hoodie just
the only wardrobe piece that they had? Were like, we got a- - [Jordan] It's the
only wardrobe available after the bomb dropped. - Toss this up. Yeah, in the dystopia. (laughs) - [Jordan] What'd you
keep showing me this for? - It's my favorite part. - [Jordan] Stop it. - He's like, what are those? (both laugh) - [Jordan] Where'd you get that hoodie? - [Jarvis] Oh my God. Dude, this haircut. - [Jordan] His haircut is wild. Oh my God, he looks like a pervert Peaky Blinder. - [Jarvis] (laughs) Also these posters. Hustle for that muscle. - [Jordan] Does that say fitness boat? (laughs) - [Jarvis] Fitness,
bootcamp. Not fitness boat. - [Jordan] Okay, that does
make a bit more sense. - What's going to happen?
Is he going to be like "jokes on you. These pants are edible." - [Jordan] Yeah. I bet his
leg, the body pay on his leg. Oh no. - Where is this going? - [Jordan] Wait, I've seen this video. - Yeah. Hang on, hold on, hold the phone. - [Jordan] I can't string this. Oh. - What is going on? Like why is- - [Jordan] I'm concerned about,
I just see get a partner. - Wait, was the hack pockets? - [Jordan] Wait, forgive
the turn of phrase, but where did he whip it out from? - [Jarvis] Cause, oh, he
pulled it up from the- I almost said from the
pocket of his dead shorts. But from his shorts,
(laughs) that have been removed. - [Jordan] The pocket of his dead soul. - [Jarvis] This man looks
dramatically different from every angle. Like, I swear to God it's brand new actor. - [Jordan] This guy looks
like his own stunt devil. (laughs) - He's like, I can not
eat a bounty on camera. And they're like, we know
just the guy, me also me. Look at the legs of the
stems on these carrots. They just go harvest these.
(laughs) That's the most European
carrot I've ever seen. - [Jarvis] He went outside
to the carrot patch and pulled on right out of the ground. Also carrots are food. They
aren't supposed to be allowed in this gym. And this is some sort of strange and unusual punishment. No? Now we're not at the gym at all. Now we're at the mind's gym. I love how in these videos,
full-on adults act like children because it's children
who are relating to them. If you just put it on your desk like that, then why do you have
to hold it on your leg? - [Jordan] Yeah, why even
bother? Did teacher leave? He just went home. - He's like, "all right, that's
enough teaching for today. Now remembering to do
the rest of your work for the next nine or so
hours and do not eat candy." - [Jordan] Now we used
Falco Teaching Goods. - We operate here on the honor system and I expect you won't eat
any candy while I'm gone. (upbeat music) - [Both] Oh no. - [Jordan] On, you're going
to kill all your plants. - Yeah, no wait. This is
actually like, harmful. (upbeat music) - [Jordan] Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- [Jarvis] It's him again. - [Jordan] It took place
30 years in the future. - Yeah. He's aged. He's
grayed a little bit. - [Jordan] Did I ever tell you the time- Did I tell you the story of the time I put my mouth in somebody's hoodie? - [Jarvis] Oh, oh, to be young again. I'm glad we can't eat and drink
junk food like we once did. - [Jordan] Before the
government banned it all. - Before the government
militants and Girl Scouts kicked down our doors. - [Jordan] Anyway, no idea
why I brought this up. I'm going to bed. - Anyway, yeah. Enjoy- - [Jordan] Time to take
off this old bad makeup and get back to work at the gym. - (laughs) Please do enjoy
your clean eating and drinking. And I hope your plants are healthy. (upbeat music) Oh no. Don't do that. - [Jordan] I thought they were going to do something with it. They were just, why didn't they put it there?
Why did they put it in there? - They were hiding it
and then he was like, "I know what I'll do before bed. I've got a water the plants." - [Jordan] You can see the M&Ms, right? ( laughs) Ah, another fruitful
harvest of my peanut M&Ms. - Yes. Black water. My sense
is not what they used to be but I do remember the water is black. - [Jordan] What's that mix that we did? I don't even remember the
Coke drink that you had in that old video we did in- - Oh you mean the good drink? - [Jordan] Oh, the good dang,
dank, dark- what was it? - The good dark drink. - [Jordan] What was in it?
- [Jarvis] It was- - [Jarvis] It was soy
sauce, Coke and Sprite. - [Woman Voiceover] This
next school prank involves three of my favorite
flavors. Coke, soy sauce - [Jordan] Oh. It was a prank. - [Woman Voiceover] and Sprite. - Oh, what an evil prank. - [Woman Voiceover]
Pour in some soy sauce. Yep. Heard that right. Once
it turns into that dark color, go ahead and stop. - That dark color. - [Jordan] That dark color. - Getting to that nice, dark color. - Once it turned to that dark
color, go ahead and stop. - [Woman Voiceover] Go ahead and stop. - Go ahead and stop is what we should do. - [Jordan] Jarvis has to go get fixed. - I have to go. What do I
have to do? Oh I have to go- - [Jordan] You have to go
and get your brain fixed. - Oh, my brain is broken. Yeah. I've got to get brand fixed everybody. Well, that's the end of the video. I hope you enjoyed this. Both the live audience and
the audience on YouTube. What else do I say at the end of videos? Stay gold, everybody. That's a thing. Maybe I'll- - [Jordan] Bah-bah-booey, bah-bah-booey Bye. - Thanks for watching it. The video that we made
together, you and I. The audience and the me. Don't eat candy in the gym. - All right. Now you could go to Twitch.tv/magicjarvis. I will allow it. And if you're coming from
the video, I don't know. Let me know, give me
a hashtag premium gang or something like that. I don't really know how any of this works. So, come watch me be bad and the internet. Peace. We're not going to end with me saying peace like that. Goodbye.
