Sisters First: A Conversation with Barbara Bush & Jenna Bush Hager

thank you everybody thanks so much thank you all okay that's plenty thank you all very very much I know that applause was really for our 40th wedding anniversary today and that great good evening and welcome everyone to another sold-out engage event I'd like to recognize the bush center board members who are in attendance Billy Hickey and Mary Margaret Hickey and their daughter Ann Marie Hickey and Jean Phillips and her daughter Maggie I'm especially excited about tonight's engaged program because it features our daughters Barbara and Jenna when I first learned I was going to be a mother I pictured two babies in my mind so when the doctor told George and me that we were having twins my deepest wish was coming true on November 25th 1981 our girls arrived five weeks early small and healthy and feisty from the moment they were born Barbara and Jenna were named for each of our mothers Barbara arrived first Jenna second and from then on George and I each had a baby to hold of course with every wish comes the famous second phase phrase be careful what you wish for George and I had little experience with babies and suddenly we were heading home with two and it's not an exaggeration to say they cried all the time it took a few months of trial and error but at last we adjusted to our twins and they begin to adjust to the world we knew their personalities early on Barbara was a collector of rocks leaves and piles of Easter eggs Jenna was a homebody and a protector when we were selling our little townhouse in Midland Jenna got on her tricycle in red road in tight circles around the prospective buyers feet pinning her to our concrete patio both girls were eager explorers making their way into every nook and cranny of our house and then venturing down this sidewalk and around block both love to use their imaginations creating a cat family and a language of meowing that we've found adorable and their grandparents found hard to understand I loved every single stage of their growing up from the time as preschoolers when they scared us half to death by playing on the rocks above the ocean in Maine to their impromptu theatrical performances to the hundreds of times they danced up and down the hallways in our Dallas ranch house I even loved their teenage years although I'm not yearning to repeat them what I've loved most is watching them grow together as an only child my greatest wish was first history our brother for their entire lives Jenna and Barbara have had each other they've been playmates confidants cheerleaders sounding boards and dreamers they've been partners in persuasion right down to their relentless lobbying to get their ears pierced the only Jenna lobbied me to get a perm any night at any house becomes could become a slumber party and often did when she heard ghostly noises in the White House Jenna ran to get in bed with Barbara Barbara was the one who got Jenna ready for her first date with her future husband Henry and she was the one who was there for the birth of both of Jenna's children Jenna's the one who pushed Barbara to follow her dreams for better health for auld and to start a non-profit global health corps Jin is the one who believes her sister can do anything they can finish each other's sentences and each other's dinners they're teaching Jenna's daughters Mila and poppy the ways of sisterhood how anything is possible if you do it together my daughters have kept me grounded how could I worry about a presidential election when I was worried that Barbara would wear flip-flops to the özkan Austin heis homecoming celebration where I knew she was going to be crowned homecoming queen she wore them anyway together Barbarin Jen and I have moved in and out of houses dorm rooms and apartments but never out of each other's lives tonight and through the pages of sisters first you'll get to know the daughters sisters and friends that George and I know they'll share some family secrets for some family bloopers and some inside jokes they'll tell you about being part of a big family and a small one and they'll share their private memories of heartbreaking events that shaped our nation and what it's like to sit next to Vladimir Putin at dinner as they've grown and discovered the world I've grown and discovered with them we've shared travel movies books and even some occasional advice on how to be a mom tonight is about sisterhood the two girls who crammed into a tiny red car toy car so they could drive side-by-side and for years wore matching outfits have never outgrown their special closeness where once they walked across the hall in a suburban house they're now only a couple of blocks apart in one of the largest cities in the world I'm happy that my two girls have chosen to be sisters first and always now we'll invite George to the stage to introduce Barbara and Jenna thank you thank you so this is really exciting for me and Laura it's been a heck of a weekend yesterday was her birthday which I remembered and but what made his special of course was Barbara and Jenner here it's you know I guess I always thought that they would become authors I don't think they ever thought I'd become president at any rate really looking forward to I've read the book and I hope you read it it's it's really good it's funny they're funny it's it's clever they're clever the English is generally pretty good but it's worth reading and I can't tell you how proud Laura and I are of our girls tonight Meredith land anchor of NBC 5 is going to interview our daughters Jenna Bush Hager and Barbara Pierce Bush welcome [Applause] happy Anniversary pops icky and mom I know it's a big one right 40 40 40 today they said it was 34 get the joke we're 35 oh the Bush twins those wild Bush twins favorite line from the book well you guys in the first page and I love this book because it's a lot about perception and you address that a lot in the book the whole world was watching your childhood right and you kind of clear up the perceptions about your personalities well we we chose the subtitle stories from our wild and wonderful life and when we told the publishers who we loved that we wanted that to be the title they were like well wild they're gonna think you know you're referring to when you were wild and we were like no we we know we know that and it is actually from a Mary Oliver poem that we love our mom and our grandmother Jenna Welch loves and the end says doesn't everything die at last and too soon tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life and really life is wild it's not just margarita wild it's wild that we're sitting you know that our dad was president that's wild unbelievable that we're sitting here with all of y'all in his library in that the work that they have done has helped motivate Barbara to do such incredible work that's wild and that I am a colleague of Meredith lands that's pretty wild pretty well I would never have thought that um ten years ago and so I think that's why and we wanted to take the word wild back and it felt really we didn't do we didn't write a book to do that but it does feel empowering to tell your own story that so did you get together to write it together how was this written well we wrote in silos because we both have full-time so we couldn't actually physically write it together and it took a while for me to agree to do it I have intentionally been more private than my sister and that has been a choice and a decision so we knew that if we were going to write it once we decided to that we did need to be very authentic and vulnerable and share many stories so we would go on long walks with each other and brainstorm about what we actually wanted to write and figure out who was going to write what chapter and then we would go off and write and what was sort of eerie and not surprising though is that we would almost write the exact same paragraphs because we're twins because our viewpoints always been the same there hasn't been one of us that was older and therefore didn't had different memories and so we had to actually edit enormous amounts of the book because we would have written almost word for word the same paragraphs there was a one paragraph that we were fought over because it was about being in Maine with our grandparents and getting into bed with them and it is you know a lot of your memories are based off of things like that story that my mom told in our forward of chasing around I mean I remember being reckless and that that tricycle but I don't remember exactly pinning that person in although it doesn't doesn't surprise me surprised me and I am protective of my family and and of my my house that was being taken away but you know so many of our memories are things that have been passed around by generations before by stories that our parents have told us and really who we are is shaped by our parents by who they make us feel like we can be and that was interesting I think because obviously we also have you know a very similar relationship with our parents and we're the same age at the same time from them and I think particularly our mom tried to both give us both what we were interested in and help us find what we were interested in and give us this one-on-one time that's important when you're a twin to figuring out your you look so pretty there mom even though I know you were tired I can't even imagine but to figuring out your own identity right talk a little bit about who you think the public thinks you are versus who you really are well it's hard for us to answer that just because we don't know what other people those people don't like us yeah some people do tell us so and usually what some people what we hear most often is people come up to us and they'll say you're so normal and we'd like but that's maybe that I think that's a compliment but what we want to hear is you're so exceptional and wildly amazing or you're so you look so fabulous you know even but really we just hear you're normal which i think is a compliment and a tribute and I think in this book a lot of what was fun about writing was this duality between the exceptional which is having a grandfather that was vice president when we were born but obviously we didn't really know that right what we knew was our grandparents in Midland Texas Jenna and Harold Welch who we saw every single day that was much more of our reality and they I think how to even though we adore our other grandparents oh gosh how could you have let me wear that gonna loved that Harbhajan tie yes it's a second I still like mustard a friend of mine is wearing mustard in the front row and I still notice a theme that Jenna has mustard on in many of the photos my mom told me I looked good in mustard but anyway early on did you clearly I don't know what that was but it was it was it took some confidence yeah I don't even know what you asked us well I wanted you I don't either that picture really distracted that derailed us but described Barbara well Barbara and well I think one of the things that people think about Barbara is that she's quiet which is not true I mean any of her friends that are here would say she's hilarious she's an incredible public speaker she's given a TED talk which is complicated and she did it so beautifully she has an incredible heart I was just on a flight with her flying back from and it makes me want to cry from Auburn Alabama we talked at the school and in Atlanta she saw Brian Stevenson who's the head of the equal justice initiative on the plane and of course I know who Brian Stevenson is but I want to be able to see him and Barbara follows his work and she goes there's Brian Stevenson and everybody was getting on the plane still which is like a very high-stress time you know I'm like all right you're gonna get up and battle that that traffic she's like I'm like why don't you just wait a minute she's like no one minute she gets up and she walks up to him and she's like I just want to let you know your work is difficult but in your hardest days it's worth it and I heard her say all this and he looked up and smiled and then she sat back down and I think that really epitomizes Barbara she is a giant heart and she chose us to chose us that's the English my dad referred to we learned it from him so it's Janet yeah he passed it down to him he passed up the slips she chooses to use it to help the world which is such a tiring and selfless thing to do thanks it's a sweet describe Jenna well I think no one will be surprised by this but Jenna is the most funny human I know she has made my life so fun you'll read about it she's always been an entertainer so even though we were all surprised that she joined NBC I wasn't actually surprised because she loves entertaining people in telling story really loves telling stories she loved it all of her life and she loves making people laugh and there's many a chapter but often I was not so I said she pursued this because what she really wanted as a child was to be a Broadway star she wanted to be a performer particularly she wanted to be in laymen's Rob the thing is if you go back to that yellow mustard shirt I never had a chance I was I was like a well-fed Texas you know blond Texan tans and like nothing about that scream French Revolution really on it because that she had a little olden times broom but she would sweep around Welsh coos ping and anyway this is a long way of getting out I would just describe Jana as joyful and so fun and that's also a choice you can choose to be happy and joyful it's the same amount of energy as it is to be negative or not and that has made my life so hilarious and fun okay first memory of the White House because your grandfather was there first what is your very first memory well our first moment we walked and we were cold cuz I don't think our mom put on a strong enough layer for DC's for the inauguration I think if we had one extra layer of Long John has long johns we would have been warm enough that we were cold and so my mom took us back to the White House early I mean another mustard there will be more mustard in this leg show anyway so we and we were just at Target in Alabama and I wanted to buy Mila and puppy some mustard skirts and she was like you need to get away from mustard they were velvet mustard I thought they were so cute but anyway okay so after the white okay we walked in we were too cold so I think our mom sent us back you weren't with us were you no well I mean who walked us home we were first grade they were like you've got it so we walked by ourselves into the White House and the florist the head florist there her name was Nancy said why don't you come in and we'll make a bouquet of flowers and of course I took put on our grandparents bedside there's nothing more magical for two girls and better seven and so we walked and and we made there and flower arrangements and then Nancy was the one that did the flowers at my wedding to Henry and she's passed away since but I think that was the common theme I mean even when I've been able to return sense it's the people that worked there that make it feel like a home and your parents and your grandparents were really careful to keep you you said normal at the beginning of this but were you just like ordering food and sandwiches I know you did the first time you were there and they did it out that's not allowed that is absolutely not allowed especially if your grandmother is Barbara Bush no certainly not I mean our parents did really do their best to keep us normal and we again as Jenna said I mean we lived in Dallas when our grandfather was alive we wrote our bike to Preston Hollow elementary you know we lived in a house that couldn't have been more different than the White House yeah like a 3-bedroom 1950s ranch house you know our maid was at four bedrooms three three I mean so it was like getting into the White House was like this a dream but they did such a good job at keeping us normal and I write about this in the book that I actually believed that everybody's grandfather was president I didn't know that it was our grandfather that was president I thought that you became president when you were a grandfather I found my journal where I asked Katherine Oliver I don't think she's here she was in Delos when her grandfather's inauguration was going to be and I was so excited at the inauguration because there is there's a huge parade that there's balloons there's confetti I mean it's everything you've dreamed of when you're 7 so I think that I'm coming back to Texas and I have many inaugurations that I get to attend because everyone's grandfather is about to have an inauguration she's like America loves grandfather's we just celebrate just celebrate up yes there was a real wake-up call I'm sure and we weren't allowed to order food no our grandmother caught us going into the bowling alley ordering peanut butter and jelly sandwiches we were waiting for them to come and then all of a sudden it was not the sandwiches but our grandmother burst in and said under no circumstance do you order anything this is not a hotel this is a temporary home and we were like yes I mean that wasn't I mean you do you treat it like a house right and speaking of your grandmother you share a name with your grandmother and there are some pretty hilarious stories around that yes well by the way mom knows that she named her Barbara Bush not knowing the Ganey was gonna be famous she was the wife of the vice president at the time that I was born I said so dad I'm yeah dad what's your take did you know she was gonna be famous well you can imagine I again I thought everyone's grandfather was president so it took me a while to realize that people were surprised by my name being the same name as the first lady so I was hung up a lot on when I would order pizza there was sort of imagine like when she was first lady and Barbara had a little like seven-year-old voice and she's like mathletes it for Barbara Bush hang-up they thought she was pranking so I mean and not really took me a long time to figure out I thought that I had done something wrong but I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong for a large part of my life but it's gotten continuously funny email maybe y'all go to the email this is in the book and my grandmother had a great attitude about this being in the book my cousin Wendy once wrote me an email the subject line was bikini waxing or electrolysis question mark and she writes me an entire email wondering should she get a bikini wax electrolysis laser hair removal what should it be and the intro line is yo it up so she writes this she presses send it had not put in my email address it had Auto filled the other Barbara Bush's email address she had sent it to my grandmother but in a classic move my grandmother didn't bat an eyelash she replies she says she doesn't walks she's taste far far away from harsh products like Nair and she can't wait to see Wendy this summer oops oh my goodness all right I want to talk about when your parents set you down and said we're going we're running for president this is happening what was that first conversation like we've actually been we want to apologize we like we talked in unison now at the communis we only talk in unison yes we're D we we apologize for Ithaca we've been feeling terrible about when we cried that we cried when we cried we said you were gonna lose we actually talked we're gonna lose we told him he was gonna lose twice first to end Richards first with Ann Richards we said he was gonna lose cuz she was we heard she was we were like that she's very very puck we were like people at school are telling us that she's very well liked you will probably lose and then we were 12 when he sat us down and the governor's mansion I mean we had a very even high school was very normal for us we didn't have security we lived in the governor's mansion but it was really fun we could walk to restaurants with our parents we went to Austin High School we do have a sort of dramatic you want to talk about the thing and I'll read well here's a dramatic diary entry from by the handful in here 5 to 96 today has been a hard day for me this morning there was a picture of Barbara and me in the newspaper and an article on us going to AHS how dumb is that there are a thousand freshmen going to AHS so what makes me special our last name how unfair is back the thing that really sucks is all be known for Jenna Bush the thing instead of Jenna Bush the person I'll be known as the governor's daughter not as Who I am anyway no I would keep sir there are a lot of people at AHS and I know I won't be friends with them by the time I graduate so to some of those unknown faces I'll still be just the governor's daughter I know it's not my parents fault but I'm taking it out on them I think it's been a hard week I've had a horrible week my best friend Kate and I've had some trouble over the mat picture we had a really normal high school life that was just me getting it out in my journal that was teenage angst but basically so when he said he was gonna run for president it did come as a shock we cried we told him he was gonna ruin our life but then I think we really quickly realized the privilege of living history and we apologize yeah and we're very sorry for saying your reflection and we feel terrible so I guess you were shocked when he won no I mean there was a recount it was let's just say it wasn't a clean sweep I mean once he was in we wanted him to win but it wasn't it was a complicated time in our cup but Chad all I know is I'll never name a kid chat never damn the kids oh my gosh well that was a good one good moving into the White House was it were you excited were you worried about the scrutiny that she'd be under did you know what was coming no but we also never actually lived in the White House you were actually right Gloria Moncrief sorry Gloria - you - but you were you know you're in college yeah we lived in dorm right so you had your Secret Service trail you everywhere right and what was that like being in college with Secret Service well I mean we I write about this in the book we were prickly definitely when we had the beginning great service we did not want them we really wanted to be independent I purposely chose away to chose to go away to school or I didn't know anyone because I love challenges like that and and so it was a lot happening at once definitely because I chose to go to a very liberal campus when my dad was running for president and got Secret Service pretty quickly thereafter and didn't know anyone and I was what's the only person that voted I mean I don't know if anyone voted for him I didn't you know I don't know about anyone elses decision but the so we were prickly at the beginning about having Secret Service because we wanted independence but I write about this in the book it changed quick first of all if you had seen us then you wouldn't have noticed that we had Secret Service they were great and they held way back and our details were pretty young and they dressed like college kids - a fanny pack and they tried really hard to give us space I ended up becoming it all really changed after 9/11 I was with my Secret Service men came to get me when the second twin tower fell because obviously before that we'd all thought it was an accident so they came to my dorm they got me I mean I didn't even bring anything with me because we just didn't know what to do and we got out of our dorm right away and we went first to this random sterile office space in New Haven and then we went to a motel off the highway cuz we needed to go somewhere where no one would think that we were but all of my detail was out of New York and the Secret Service office in New York City at the time was in World Trade Center tower 7 so it wasn't hit but it collapsed and I was with all of them as they were all calling to make sure their families were ok and checking on their own colleagues who had been in that area in that building and we were all basically crying and grieving together and so from then on and I write this they really became my brothers and they were just so amazing they we couldn't get away from each other basically that day and they some of them had their families come from New York to New Haven because they didn't want their kids or their wives to be alone in in New York and so Steve my head Secret Service man his wife and daughter came to New Haven and his and it was so sweet and it's really just kind of a wonderful image in my mind she's fought she was five at the time and she was so excited to have a summer party with her parents in a hotel room and so she was jumping wildly on the bed because she obviously did not know what it has happened a few hours before and it was just such a stark contrast but they went and got my roommates cuz I was by myself and they brought them to spend the night with me in the motel which was such a very generous gesture how about you Oh 911 what was your experience well my experience I was actually at a different hotel I was set up it was this very similar but you know my I was by myself really all day long because I had a room by myself I might talk to my my sister I talked to my mom and then later and the day after my dad had landed had landed he called he got in touch with me but I was you know they Barbara was in an office building I was taken to a hotel early in the morning and was really just in a room by myself for the entire day but so it was real you know Barbara I think had a more different and we all had very right different were you worried about your dad yeah I mean of course but really no because we know who our dad is and how I mean no more than anybody else was worried about their family members and all of our I remember we were in college I remember of course like the sort of the hysteria of young people never seen anything like this before everybody was worried about their families right you didn't have any fun at University of Texas did you know articles were not written I sure did it about your dad I couldn't enjoy it that's one regret that I write about in the book is that I really could have had a more college like experience no we had fun and actually when you asked what we prepared we were not prepared at all for I mean we thought of ourselves is so normal that and I could reach out we walked into a Mexican restaurant and ordered margaritas together as we know right that was stupid what was the headline they did it again well that was one yeah I actually like got when we were on the cover of People magazine that's right I liked gin and tonic although it's inaccurate because I don't like tonic I prefer spell he got it wrong no to think tonic is gross should have been gin and soda gin and soda that's better there's here's a little part that somebody had a writer had me read so like at most colleges one of the big things to do at the University of Texas at Austin where I was a first-year student which for the older girls who had already turned 21 to give the younger ones their IDs of course the reason why you might want an ID before you're 21 was to drink most of my friends had ideas from older girls and I didn't think anything about it and I'll remember this girl came up in G's like everybody says we look exactly alike this is for you and like neither one of us thought you know what this could be a bad idea I remember just like I know a lot of my freshmen not and my college friends I heard like running up and being like somebody gave me this and this great she looks just like me so I never stopped to consider oh wait a minute now that my dad is president people are gonna recognize me I just wanted to be like my friends and I was although when I went wild I ended up in a double-page spread and the National Enquirer with a huge caption reading Pat and Kristi you're in this one too Pawel say she's a hard-drinking party animal the headline get ready America here comes George W is wild daughter now as a 30-something mom of two daughters a mom whose clothes are usually sticky from somebody's leftover juice box I almost can't believe that there were ever photos of me and mid-fall next to one of my girlfriends both of us holding cigarettes about the only thing I'm grill anyway the point is we weren't prepared and when I got in trouble I called my dad the first time and I was like dad I'm so sorry and I think one of the things about becoming president is that you know you don't know what it's gonna be like he he could never have predicted September 11th you don't know how you're what's gonna happen and so you can't you're just gonna all he would say is it's gonna be fine y'all can go you you can be normal because that's all we wanted so of course you're gonna say to your children it's gonna be okay you don't know how it's gonna be and and so when I said I called them and I said I'm so sorry when I got in trouble the first time and he was like yeah the second time it was a little different conversation but the first time and he was like no I'm sorry you know I promised you normalcy and this isn't gonna be normal and then it wasn't I mean you know those and then not and by the way the National Enquirer it's like whatever but the point is is that is that you know I we are unbelievably protective of children of true children of presidential strolled Rijn presidents because it's not like we said to our dad okay we have a great idea you're gonna run for president we're gonna be your first children well be the first children and we'll see how this all goes there's no guidebook and I do really thank my parents for allowing us to make mistakes because I think it's really important for people to make mistakes so that they can learn and grow and I don't know how I could've be a parent myself if I was raised to some expectation of perfection which people are not perfect and so I had a great time you had a great time we had fun watching the press which ironically but you weren't a member I was a member of the pure like night when we're doing the same thing in South Carolina basically I still remember my fake IDs name see but anyway ironically you are a member of the personnel I know I mean who knew right you used to run from the press I know when you run from Savannah Guthrie yeah and Savannah is she's one of my very best friends Henry said today that she was like bring the girls over this afternoon if you need some some help but then papi got the norovirus and I was like please don't take her over to Savannah's I think that's a really interesting lesson in life that one you know you keep your option opens and who knows what can happen I really like my job I think it's really fun and I work with such incredible women in particular I mean everybody's great but the women are the type of people that would say bring your babies over if you need help and I think that's one of the reasons why we wrote this book is that we've always had that in each other but women should have that in every aspect of their lives with their friends with their mothers with their work colleagues we should feel like we're getting lifted up and I want that for my girls I'd be so thrilled if they had the type of colleagues that I have Barbara what kind of father is your dad he's a wonderful father he's the best father in the world and I mean that very honestly he has I'm gonna find something to read if I can find it you want me to fill in for you for a second yes what I'm teleporting something to you okay yeah are do you want me to talk about me or you me me okay she found me I found it her dad has been an incredible father I've I think one thing that's been so lucky for us and probably why we were even comfortable writing a book and knowing that we were putting ourselves out there as we've always known that we were very very loved and always our parents always allowed us to believe that we were enough and my dad is just stable and I think that's what something you were when Janice and she wasn't we weren't worried about our dad having to handle 911 because we've always known that he would take on whatever responsibilities really neither of our parents have ever given us the burden to have to worry about them yeah because they're strong and they've you know they've gave us that freedom to know that they were gonna be ok which is a big gift yes so something that I write about in here is about going through a heartbreak when I was not that many years ago but it's about my dad let's see when I had my first devastating heartbreak in my early 30s I'd ride the subway wondering if anyone could see that inside my chest my heart was torn in two and when my heart hurts so badly I couldn't help but wonder how many other people riding the subway felt the same how many others were wandering the city with broken hearts my dad was the first person I called after that breakup I don't know why I never shared much about my relationships with him I'm private like my mother but through it all struggling to hold the belief that someone could be wonderful well us also understanding you shouldn't build the rest of your life with them I relied on my dad and daily he would call or text just to check in just to show the burden with me he didn't make promises of things getting better or the relationship ultimately working out but he just shared that while my heart hurt no it would not always feel that way every morning I would wake to a text from him just saying hi his usual love you baby and in a small way affirming that heartbreak hurts and that is okay I picked up the pieces but he never stopped texting every morning every night I read a meditation a short modern-day interpretation of a Christian Bible verse meant as a form of silent prayer before I doze off and every morning he reads the same meditation from the same book texting universe which he is illustrated by emojis i text back my own emoji picture it is short and it is daily 5:30 a.m. Texas time 6:30 a.m. New York time waiting there for me when I open my eyes it is so simple and yet it is everything could I get one of those texts one day just just once would you like to add something to your dad well one day one day would be good no I I feel the same way and I feel like it's funny that it's been through text I write about a text there's been certain days where he knows there's been something going on with work or with life that made me feel heavy and I've gotten texts from him that I've read to colleagues that have made me weep at work where he says about you know what's important where he says you know your girls are important in your family who loves you is important I once made a mistake is it and I felt really horrible about it and I got a text from my dad that said here are some thoughts it's no big deal your family loves you which is a lot more important than one slip I made a lot of slip and overall they did not matter the world is full of people who want to take someone down but there are many more people who think you are great so let it go be your charming natural self all will be well love your dad and moments like that there's more that I didn't put every text in the book that would be not bear but there there have been a lot of moments like that where I've where it got in something that has made me all of a sudden feel like I was home or grounded and I think we're really lucky for that I want to talk about your mom too because there's so many neat moments in the book about your mom and watching the stars at night and and she kept your childhood so normal has we've been saying what do you what would you want to say about your mom and your childhood maybe not everybody knows oh my gosh well our mom has been an amazing mother because she had two wild little beasts of us at the same time and and I think we were flattened now that I have two little kids I've reflected on what motherhood really takes and it's not easy because you're you know you want desperately for your children to be happy and she you know we always knew she wanted that for us but also she wasn't only try who what wanted other siblings I think and and had great friends who were like sisters or are like sisters to her but that's what we had and I think even now sometimes I'll be giving the girls a bath and I'll they'll like make some sort of gross noise and I'll be like please don't do that and then they'll both do it and laugh and like to gang up on me or Mila started calling me mister man and poppies it's hilarious and Henry thinks it's hilarious and so like and the thing is I feel like that but I'm like oh that's so Barbara and me and I can relate with that whereas the opposite of twins gosh another questionable choice but twins is an only child because we had each other and we were so close in age and we still even when we're spending the night with our parents my mom's like don't you want to stay in your bedroom Barbara and she's like no I want to stay in Jenna's and I think so only now that we're adults do we realize that I'm sure she loved being our mom but I'm sure that we could have been a pain to be a mother of two so we're sorry what else well mom I mean we really spent a lot of time with our mother and you kind of mentioned what would be surprising I think there are so many things that are surprising and a big part of what was fun to explore in the book is how so many people in our family that we love have been stereotyped in certain ways and like our dad can read I think people I don't know exactly how mom's been stereotyped because of course we only hear certain things and largely what we hear is people saying that our mother beautiful and graceful and they love her yeah but they're in the beginning of the book I write about also how I was fearful that my mom was going to leave my dad for Van Morrison even though she never met Van Morrison but she loved his music so much and talked about how much she loved it so much that I again but there was a disconnect to me really understanding what was going on she didn't in fact leave her dad for Van Morrison but you know what it's not - I mean not that I'm the wife well I'm just know that them were sinestro alive although I think dad's aged better than man mark yeah I don't think don't don't I'm not urging it's 40 years as God let's keep it moving but going but my mom's always loved great music and one of my favorite memories from high school as I heard at school that the Wailers were gonna be playing a secret show in Austin and so I went home and told my mom and we got all dressed up to go to the secret Wailers concert but of course it was a school night so my mom and I show up at the club and there was no single other person there because we show up like four hours too early and then we didn't even wait to hear the Wailers because it was a school night and we had to go but my mom it's just very different than I think people and she's hot you know I think because she's so gracious and graceful and kind and gentle which is something we're working on I'm I'm working on people forget that she uses her voice yeah and and are used and and still uses but when she was first lady she did so much and neither one of my parents needed like the appreciation or the or the accolades are needed people to know what they did that's not the reason why they did it they did it because it was right and we've watched that since she was since we were little girls and I think you know she taught us how to use our voices yeah especially in ways that are authentic to us because she's done it so authentically exactly and you've said Jenna to me before you know people meet us and they think well your dad thinks this and your mom so you must think this but you weren't really raised to think exactly how they do the individuals yeah it was the point our paranoia definitely wanted us to be individuals and maybe I don't know I don't think it was a conscious decision and like they weren't like discussing it or I don't think they even read any books where they were like how can we raise our children to have their own opinions but I know it was something that they did and they wanted us to think for ourselves and be curious and independent and use our voices in ways that we thought were right to help people and to make a difference but it but it was subtle I think it's a really brave way to parent because it's so much easy to just have kids that believe the exact same thing as you believe me I may choose the other way of parenting but I think you know and maybe it's just because we come from a political family because obviously everybody has parents and not everybody believes everything their parents yeah but it does come as a surprise to people I mean I write about this in the book I in 2011 made a video for marriage equality in New York City and after I did that people would come up to me really regularly and say you know thank you for doing that that's so brave of you to betray your family like that and I was so taken aback that that is what the perception was because that's never what it felt like and I in fact had talked to my parents both and especially to my dad before doing it to figure out if I should do it and what he was helping me think through was not my opinion because I already knew what my opinion was and he respected it but was how best to use my voice and would doing this which ended up you know I thought like 12 people were gonna see it on YouTube and it ended up on the front page of the New York Times and then within every single taxi cab throughout New York City yeah on the taxi TV which I never got the heads-up on so it just was a different thing so he was helping me figure out how to use my voice and if it would be effective and what I was comfortable with and we'd had all those conversations well I had well before I had done the video and so the reaction that it was a betrayal was always so surprising to me because in many ways it was actually acting on what we had been raised to do in terms of if our voice can make an impact on something that we care about be thoughtful about it and figure out how you can make an impact but also it's your responsibility as a human to try to be a doer and do things that affect change that are positive was there anything in the book that really surprised your parents a story they didn't know a feeling you had that they didn't know about well I gave my dad the chapter that I read from to read and it was the first time anyone had read it and I was so excited because I wanted dad to be the first to read it and I was staying here so he you know I was like did you read it and he was like yeah it's revealing I was like like good revealing or bad revealing should I edit it is it enough he was like no it's revealing and he just kind of stuck and then I had to go to mom and be like mom dad read the chapter I'd love some feedback now cuz I don't want to release the chapter without it being good and all he's saying is that it's revealing so then mom had to kind of be our translator between us they are parents I mean they let us write whatever were true emotions and I'm sure things surprised them they're more more interested in the editing process my dad was like this and it's too too long tuberose with us both event and mom submitted at it's the last day edits were allowed that's where I get is that where I get it from the procrastination was there something that you didn't include because they said no don't do this no no really every our parents have never really said don't do this I mean they haven't they've allowed us to be ourselves and these these are our voices and our stories I was nervous about my grandmother's chapter because I write about a tennis match that I had and I wish I could tell you that the tennis match happened 10 15 years ago unfortunately it happened two years ago after the birth of two children and I hate late in the match I was I was not playing very well it was a family tennis tournament and I was playing with the tennis pro because he asked to be my the one non family member it has to be my part no anyway it was almost rigged okay but anyway so I was not playing well so I would do certain tricks to make me and mainly my dad was egging me on he would say things like that's my girl yes what were your tricks I did the I shimmy I did the worm she held it playing and then I think the final straw was when she lifted her tennis skirt to our entire family but I had on tennis pants underneath they were large I can promise you I just had a child but and dad was like sitting on the line the sidelines screaming things like that's my girl so we're having fun anyway I was nervous because I got a letter then you know fall came I'd forgotten everything about the summer I get a letter from my grandmother I open it Henry hears me and he's like what has happened I'm like crying candy it's very disappointed he's like what like we haven't even seen Gainey in two months I'm like she says I had bad sportsmanship there was a letter dear Jenna and George the thing that made me feel bad was she said I did I would have disappointed my grandfather which broke my heart into a thousand pieces because we adore him so much but anyway the postscript said don't show this letter to anyone so she published so I published it so I was so nervous about her reaction to it that I was like she was when we were in Maine she said do you have a galley and we had a galley but I was like no we don't have a galley I was like oh gosh Barbara I guess she can't read this and then I sent her the book or actually I didn't the publisher just sent it to her and I was like oh great thank you and she got it and I was like oh no and she wrote me that she loved it and so that was a relief and she also wrote that she was through she was worried we weren't going to include the waxing story that I referred to earlier and she thought that we should because humor is important and then she read the waxing story and emailed us and said oh great you included it you got that one in she's coming tomorrow to Houston she and her grandpa so we'll see how she really feels but so far so good you've lived in Texas DC New York what's home well I think Texas is home when people ask us where we're from we say a Texas and I haven't lived in Texas for 18 years and I haven't lived here for I don't care I remember how long we usually I think home is also where family is our book is very much centered around family where we spend time which is in Crawford and Dallas and Maine and Maine and then in New York for us and we usually end with this and since I see there's a minute left I'll keep it on time cuz you good you know that he likes to leave on time the world has often compared Barbara and me but our parents never did I realize now how easy it would be to quip Jenna your sister never acts that way your sister doesn't impulsively kick a soccer ball into our front window or why don't you make a like your sister and because of that the bond we shared from before birth was solidified I was never jealous of Barbara although I should have been am envious of her near-perfect SAT score and she was not never jealous of me her successes were my successes her heartbreaks were also mine recently Melinda Gates Barbara's ultimate girl crush tweeted an article about Barbara I was riding the subway and saw the tweet during a brief respite with Wi-Fi and I wanted to yell out to all the passengers see my sister is a global health star even Melinda Gates knows she's saving the world when people stop me and inquire about my more elusive sister they typically ask is she married I understand their curiosity but internally I begged them to ask about what she's doing I want to tell them about the work she does about the nonprofit she started all by herself and about all that she's accomplished and recently I did just that a woman at an event asked him to worry too worried tone now why isn't your sister married I mean I've heard it too many times I took a deep breath although I'm starting to take deeper breaths and holding them and holding them and responded she is married to her work Global Health Corps you can google it oh and she has a nice boyfriend too was it too extreme maybe but that is what sisters do they want the best for each other they always protect each other not too long ago I picked up me left from our priests and she smiled her wide smile and said mama a word I will never tire of hearing I know I need to get home to my kids when I start to cry at the word mama but today is a good day to be here when puppy has norovirus great timing don't tell Henry don't tweet that where is poppy I want puppy Lou she sang I picked her up and held her inhaling her silky hair smelling school on her paste paint and oranges it made me long for my sister the way she longed for hers I remembered walking into new schools meeting new kids together walking into spaces where we felt out of place hands entwined as I walked Miele home I thought of my sister now all grown up was she enough she was in Africa what was she doing preparing for bed was she staring into the rwandan sky looking at other stars that created different patterns from the ones we would soon see muted by the brilliant lights of Manhattan that night I held my girls closely and listened to the patterns of their breathing until they were in sync until they were one you have each other I thought to myself you can walk through this wild and wonderful life together you will fight yes and you will adapt to each other's quirks but you will do it together you will make your sister feel like she is enough and for me your mama well that is enough more than enough that is everything [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Applause] thank you Thank You Barbara Jenna and Meredith for an absolutely inspiring conversation I'm Ken Hirsch the president and CEO of the bush Center I've I have the honor of helping to really communicate and bring to this community the legacy and meaning of this wonderful family and tonight it was on full display thank you very much for sharing it with us the in the museum I hope when you visit the museum right outside the Oval Office there's a letter that Jenna wrote to her father about going to work on the campaign and it is just as meaningful as what we just heard tonight it's really one of the most for me it's one of the most touching things that's in that's in the museum there's signed copies of the book in the lobby holidays are approaching we have the exhibit that opens November 16th it's all things bright and beautiful Christmas at the White House as it was in 2005 remember if you're not a member of the bush Center please become a member and you'll get advance notice to great events like tonight and it's an absolute joy again to celebrate this wonderful family with all of you thank you and have a wonderful evening [Music]

Channel: TheBushCenter

Views: 647,182

Keywords: george w. bush presidential center, george w. bush, laura bush, jenna bush, jenna bush hager, barbara bush, engage at the bush center

Id: kMXpiAjZOVA

Length: 57min 11sec (3431 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 06 2017