SHOWER THOUGHTS #1

we need a mandatory new show that debunks all the lies of the day more than we need actual news yeah and then the people that actually lie will then say that's lying yeah everyone my name is Jake and welcome to shower thoughts where we're gonna get really think e we're gonna think so hard we're gonna just it's gonna be so thankful I don't know what I'm talking about let's get on with things if one day we cure aging and all diseases we will all die horrible deaths oh that's great to hear I can't wait to die by a falling piano exciting after T was discovered a lot of people probably died trying to make similar drinks from leaves that turned out to be toxic you think people would have probably tried the leaves before they tried to put it in water and drink it but I don't know people are stupid I guess having your body stretched on the rack torture device probably makes your back feel great at one point wait what's the rack torture device I need to see this oh yeah well if you know when to start talking you know when they're squeezing you think you need to talk you need to talk if you know exactly when's right you're getting free chiropractic massages are ya Oh feels good if we have to dump our own household trash in our backyard for one week we would seriously reconsider our own impact of environmental waste I'm pretty sure people do that in some places right like in India they just they just dump it there and I don't think they care the movie requiem for a dream probably convinced more teenagers not to do drugs than the death program ever did I think it's cuz the DARE program tells you like oh this is what they do they're really bad and then teenagers like you know what that doesn't sound so bad I might try that but the movie yeah you don't want to do that during Prohibition bartenders probably wouldn't care about underage drinking since everybody at the bar was already drinking illegally I guess yeah a scented candle stopped burning down would smell amazing probably not now it probably wouldn't cuz there's so many other things in there actually I don't know I don't like the smell of candles in the candle store gives me a headache but hmm I don't know would it if everybody stopped paying taxes that wouldn't be a prison for them to go to since prisons are funded by taxes huh it sounds like communist propaganda to me but okay okay if you're having a bad day at work just remember that someone once accidentally burnt down not returned I kind of forgot about that did they actually like rebuild it yeah I mean they got like billions didn't they did they rebuild it before elements earth water air and fire coincide with the four states of matter solids liquids gases and plasmas wait earth solid water liquid gases air plasma fight copy the logic so many people will die having never touched a pigeon yeah that that's one of my life aspirations is on my bucket list touch a pigeon that's what I aspire to do in my life whoever put two L's in parallel was a genius wait wouldn't it work with just one L as well because there's two out there's three L's in parallel allow what the quickest way to sober up during a night owl is to plant your pockets and not feel your phone to be fair yep I can imagine that just feeling it and just that you're instantly sober calling a kid kid sounds fine but calling an adult adult sounds weird yeah I mean who calls people adult I don't even think kids call adults adult right it's just a grown person in the future rhinos will be as mythical as unicorns if we keep shooting them yeah probably but if we don't shoot them they won't be it's strange how Peach's castle in Super Mario 64 had a flooded basement despite Princess Peach being close friends with two plumbers huh maybe they had other motives you know like Oh Princess Peach your castle is floated again I might have to come over again haha you'll be the VIP attending your funeral that's it you're just the VIP I mean if like someone else came like Drake if he came to my funeral he'd probably be more important yes when incognito mode generation grows up nobody will understand delete your history jokes wait why is incognito gonna go out of fashion what doesn't everybody use that anyway like they're always gonna use that our skin is the only organ we get to personalize and the only organ we can complement without sounding creepy I don't know no I can say up to someone ah nice brain you got there and then sound creepy does it right the world's greatest massage therapist will never experience the world's greatest massage yeah the problem with being faster than light is you can only live in darkness god bless all Lego characters are bald they either wear wigs or head accessories to hide it huh unless you draw on them I mean does that count as an accessory now if you draw them it three counts you know you're introverted when you type up a full paragraph in response to a tweet or post and you don't click send literally me like every single day I'll respond to someone I'll be like I'll say something funny and then I'll be like you know what no no that wasn't that funny so I'm not gonna send it and then I end up never sending any tweets if scientists are able to eliminate aging the first immortals will probably be mice instead of humans you imagine like 500 year old mice just crawling around with these I don't know how long do reckon it'd take after mice probably like 20 years they never do it they say oh we've killed cancer and then it's like a mice and then you can't actually well they probably have cured cancer Lesbia but I won't go into that I won't go into that the fictional language spoken in the Sims is probably how English sounds to non-english speakers there's actually a video I've seen it's like how English sounds to other English like non-native speakers where I'll play it right now cannibals would consider a vegan person grass-fed I don't know how I feel about that one next one when you warm up by the fire you're cooking yourself to a comfortable temperature again with the cannibalism probably not a comfortable temperature to us their comfortable temperature would probably be way higher than what we think the greatest heist in history is one we don't know happened would it be though like surely if it was the greatest heist in history you would have to take loads and loads and if they didn't get caught it's still really good but I guess you could steal really really small amounts and still like steal or loads what was it it's like the office space movie where they took pennies so no one ever noticed that is a heist right there humans are the plastic of the animal kingdom incredibly versatile and good in a lot of situations but generally lacking specialization and slowly killing the planet yeah well we did put the plastic there so I guess we are plastic we associate day time with the light from a single star but nighttime with the light from a million stars yet true but the light that we get from the Sun is a lot brighter right so that's a daytime that's nighttime okay vampires always have great hair even though they can't see themselves in a mirror maybe though every single vampire has a stylist you know that actually can see there and they star them every morning I don't know they could have a lot of money most laws were created because someone decided to be a jerk one day some laws are stupid though like I saw a video of a guy who did British laws and you're not allowed to wear a suit of armor inside the House of Commons or something why is that a law did someone just walk in there with a suit of armor on why the lorax is a story about saving trees that's written on trees it might not be though they could have written it on their hand you're right on your arm I didn't I don't know the guy at some point someone decided that yelling whoa was a pretty good way to verbalize enthusiasm and everybody just went with it oh that guy said whew I'm gonna say woof we live in a time where just by happenstance you can download a chess up on your phone set to grand master level computers against themselves and watch top level gameplay being generated live just for you but do they always like end up in a stalemate because if they always like program to win how did they win can someone explain that I'd never buy a used mattress but sleeping in a hotel is fine yeah I guess you know the hotels clean them like every week or every day but when you buy a used mattress that person could are like yeah I guess you could pee in the hotel mattress I don't know buy use mattresses the first domesticated cat probably just walked straight up to a human and sat on them for warmth those being a strange partnership over 10,000 years ago someone says here they were attracted to human farm residents by mice and small rodents and then it grew from there and that was 8,000 years ago we had farms 8,000 years ago I know nothing about history everything is a weapon it's just how useful you can be with it wait I was trying to think if I got anything on my desk that could be useful and I only have chewing gum and you could probably choke someone with chewing gum right or just hit them on the head with that I don't know if you have to wear a wristband that says it you're not a VIP come on I just wanted to wear the wristband it made me feel special and now you've taken that away from me did you think in that video did you just think at all we'll leave a like and click right here to see more videos that probably not shower thoughts right now but in the future they will be if you like these videos and you should tell me don't tell me you like them if you don't tell me

Channel: WhyJake

Views: 77,905

Rating: 4.9385443 out of 5

Keywords: twitter posts, facebook posts, reddit posts, tinder posts, funny, comedy

Id: 6Fdz5G69nCA

Length: 10min 0sec (600 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 10 2020