Should I Accept An Engagement Ring If My Boyfriend Is In Debt?

all right Shea is with us in Arizona hi show welcome to the Dave Ramsey show hi Dave how are you better than I deserve what's up how can John and I help you my boyfriend and I succeeding we're going to talk about getting married and I feel a little guilty your phone is going weird kiddo can you speak directly into it yes that's a little better yeah all right my boyfriend and I about a year and they're starting to talk about getting married and I feel kind of guilty knowing he's gonna shoot up and find and take a train when he saws a lot of day my thinking no way you're feeling guilty that he's saving up to buy an engagement ring well he has a lot of debt oh yeah what does he make 44 and how much debt does he have he has about 79 cars and what came to him 17 on a car and what 20 to 22 on student loans and have you guys discussed this ring thing enough that you might have an idea what his budget is no okay well if he were healthy financially he's not I would tell him as an old man to a younger man don't spend more than one month's take-home pay on the ring that's enough there is no statistical correlation between the size of the diamond and the marriage lasting as a matter of fact when the diamond gets to a certain size there's an inverse correlation so meaning that if she needs a rock that big she probably ain't yours and so it doesn't work but anyway so so a good woman like you that asks a question like you're asking is very mature and very kind in spite of the fact that you're scared I'm going to say don't buy a ring because you really do want one unless you're just unless you're just weird and I don't think you're weird so I think you need to get a ring so let's get a ring that has a reasonable budget the guy has a car he can't afford he probably needs to sell that anyway and let's let's talk about you know is a forty four thousand so his take-home pay is probably three grand a month if so if three grand was a normal max you know because he's got a lot of debt let's cut it in half and let's get started with a starter ring right a fifteen hundred dollar ring by the way my wife Sharon got married to me with a the engagement ring was point two three carats it wasn't even 1/4 of a carat and that sweet precious romantic little ring is in the safe and she wears a headlight now on her hand so it's it's a starter ring it doesn't you're not stuck with it it's not you know b85 wearing it probably if you guys go and win but I don't think you need to feel guilty if he spends $1,500 or less in cash honoring especially if he's making other moves John what do you think Shea how big of a ring do you want I mean obviously I want something for you to wear the rest of my life but I mean that's not worth ruining our financial future that's that's that's the question I wanted to hear your answer to so good for you and so I think I love what Dave said I think it's great and I want you to sit down with him and say here's who I want us to be financially moving forward to make sure you'll have that conversation before you get way down the road and like Dave I've been with the same woman for more than half my life now and this is a I don't know maybe thirty five bucks at James Avery something like that back in the day and it works just fine so it works just fine well you're not a lady so that's true that's true you can get away with that but yeah yeah so yeah this is a good shape the good news here is it opens up a great conversation because John and I know that the statistics tell us that number one cause of divorce is money problems money fights money disagreements and this gives you guys a chance to align on that subject and him to hear loud and clear how much you hate that and him to hear loud and clear that you're willing to put your all's the financial good of your future ahead of the size of the rock on your hand you're willing to make good mature decisions together these are really good healthy conversations for y'all to be aligned on before he buys you a ring good for you for asking what a stud Shay that's awesome well done kiddo very proud of you it's gonna work out great and by the way go through Financial Peace University as a couple as our guests will go ahead and give you an engagement gift Kelly I'll sign you up hang on she'll pick up and get you going on that so the all of the data and you've seen you've heard me talk about it but you've seen it from the counseling world as well that if you can get aligned on money it causes you to get aligned on everything else you've got a plan together talk together communicate together and it's just what a gift really good pre-marriage counseling

Channel: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Views: 110,890

Keywords: the dave ramsey show, budget money debt cash, real estate, insurance, how to make money, dave ramsey, save, credit card, compound interest, buying house, buy, snowball

Id: QTe5HLDKFso

Length: 5min 19sec (319 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 29 2020