Share Your Funniest D&D Story #1 (r/dndstories)

hello and thanks for tuning in real quick we just wanted to let you know that we're doing your collab with our friends over at neckbeard eeeh we'll be launching part 1 on our channel and part 2 over on their channel so please pop over there and send them some love link is in the description tell them rip daddy sent you if you're here from neckbeard ya please let us know in the comments so we can stamp your passport also quick reminder the 50 K sub celebration extravaganza game is approaching real quick and we're all super fired up to play some D&D with you all we just did a session zero to play test our characters and House Rules and it was awesome so pucker your butt with us and stay tuned as we approach the threshold that's all I got thanks enjoy the video share your funniest D&D story part one it's pretty damn juvenile but the frost giant penis always cracks our group up we were on our way to a northern dwarven city and we needed to clear out some Wendigos that were threatening a town on the road we did some investigating and learned that Wendigos could be lured using rotting meat so we headed out to a castle ruin where they were rumored to be rumored is spelled correctly I liked that dragging a bucket of rancid meat along with us as we headed into the castle we found a frost giant blocking our path we had the brilliant plan to lure the Wendigos to the giant and they could take care of each other we spread out the bucket of meat and then I used prestidigitation to make the frost giants smell like rancid meat then the DM said what part of the frost giant no I know the penis I guess laughter the battle plan failed we had to fight the Wendigo which detected us before they got the giant and then we almost got clobbered by the giant as well the Wendigos paralyzed the Paladin and I had no choice but to put him in the bag of holding to stop him being killed and run towards the frost giant now pulled him out on my next turn Pokemon style he had beaten the paralysis safe while in the bag and he killed the Giant in a single blow critical hit 80 plus damage using the dmg overwhelming damage rules we managed to survive but based on the sheer hilarity of the battle we took a trophy the frost giant penis then began the crazy series of events firstly if we snuck it into the bed of our dwarf PC he had been away for that session so we retcon did as him being away and then he used it as a club against us noticing it was rotting I put it out into the snow which of course summoned another Wendigo knowing it needed to be preserved we decided to find taxidermist in the Dwarven city enter beg rolf the possibly autistic taxidermy obsessed monotone speaking half bearded dwarf not only was i impressed the DM was actually allowing us to get a giant penis stuffed but he actually made a hilarious character for it we became obsessed with peg Rolf he agreed to taxidermy the penis saying it would take five days we still visited his shop every single day we were in the city of buying an entire zoo of stuffed animals half a dozen stuffed rats and mice a stuffed snake a stuffed falcon a stuffed owl and a stuffed goat the tiefling Ranger fell in love with him asking him to accompany our party during the big battle to save the city before realizing he would almost certainly die she also had to explicitly proposition him for sex as he simply did not get a hint we saved the city from adware gar invasion and took another fire giant penis as a trophy to be stuffed it turned out that we had given him more business in a week than he'd received in five years and that he had been able to renovate his shop promising us he'd deliver the second penis to our hometown since then the penis was used as a great prop for drama and distractions almost never failing but we decided we wanted to go further enchantment we sought out a wizard to enchant our frost giant penis with the power of flight after a long time haggling we got the greatest line ever I'm going to enchant this penis with the power of flight and you're going to be happy about it we have two months until it's ready and then we have a fire giant penis lined up to be enchanted with fireball it's not much of a story but here goes last session we broke into the red brand's hideout and came across a group playing dice we were dressed like red brains so rather than attack us they just questioned what we were doing there I told them we just got off duty and wanted to pass some time then one guy at the table said you don't look familiar why I've had always seen you before so I said yeah we normally work a different shift but we got moved around cuz Greg went and broke his ankle we're here to fill in I just barely failed my deception check so the DM had them grow suspicious of us and start reaching for their swords the man replied oh no never Greg Eva at this moment I knew I had to think fast or we'd be in for a fight so I blurted out the first thing they came to mind okay okay I'm gonna level with you guys we aren't here to cover for Greg we're actually from HR and we've come to invest rumors of inappropriate behavior in this workplace sadly I rolled low again and after a few confused seconds the red brand screamed out wait a minute we don't have a night John a pop man all in all didn't do much but it did get the table laughing pretty hard edit also our group name is now the HR department so that's cool my player played a scion who had a spell which made his eyes light up like cars headlights he walked around a dark dungeon along with his group killing everything in sight while in the area where he knew there would be a boss nearby he silently walked up to a door and looked through its keyhole while his eyes were still on the monster boss saw the light coming through the keyhole and broke down the door which hit the scions head and knocked him out my very first D&D campaign many years ago our group consisted of a human fighter myself halfling rogue elven wizard human paladin and a very stubborn dwarven monk we were pretty deep in a dungeon at this point and we came across a very narrow section of tunnel leading into what looked like a labyrinth and we could hear noises of creatures down in the maze but could not see them we determined they were hiding in the many offshoots in the tunnels the dwarf monk turned to us with an amazingly stupid idea he wanted to draw these baddies out into the larger tunnel to fight them instead of being forced to fight in the confined space of the maze he took the robe from the rogue and tied it to himself he instructed the Paladin to myself to hold on the other end and said watch this he took off at a full sprint into the tunnels screaming at the top of his lungs instantly we hear terrifying noises of ghouls attacking our great monk the Rope goes taut and he yells pull the Paladin and I roll well on our strength checks in heave the monk and half a dozen ghouls that are attached to him back into the larger chamber we proceed to defeat them and that's how you go fishing for ghouls so one of my groups 3.5 had made it to epic levels all players were like 25th with no multi classing and the next part of the campaign was to break into the inner three layers of hell to free one of the major NPCs that had knowledge that could help them defeat the demon hordes I decided to make a guardian of the inner layers and I fashioned him after one of my favorite game characters Kratos this dual wielder was amazing had to roll 15 to crit vorpal blades etcetera you know the works so the party's fighter Nick leads the way and challenges Kratos to a one-on-one fight to the death before the battle he asks me of his in-game wife cleric level 23 can ready a spell but I can't ask which one I allow it cuz I'm curious and like surprises so she prepares her spell and he goes to fight Kratos now Nick is dual wielding scimitars wins the initiative and they just start annihilating each other he gets kratos for 15% of his health in the first round because Kratos has some d R and then Kratos comes back to take almost a hundred hit points in two hits nick takes his move action to drink a healing potion and then flops his attack role with an at one Kratos laughs crits on two of his attacks and B heads the fighter suddenly the cleric casts true res Nick's hands shoot up catch his head and slam it back on to his neck at which point he screams the severed portion heals up and he jumps back and says nearly headless Nick ain't got nothing on me one of my groups is a bit unusual in their methods it's all good and fun and the campaign definitely has an absurd humor thing going on but sometimes I really do wonder what the hell is happening there wasn't really a punchline but the whole session was just one absurd thing after the other this group fifth edition is made up of an animate halfling skeleton death cleric who worships an entity only known as the Pope a warlock who has the mighty fail or George W Bush jr. as her patron in an actual mouse named old cheeser who wields a 2-meter great sword and describes her mother as mousy so there's a large canyon in my homebrew world and they wanted to go to the other side the only way to do that is to either take a four month detour or to let yourself get thrown over the canyon with a magic catapult so they enter the small village where the catapult is located and learned that there's a serial killer roaming around leaving the village via the catapult or otherwise is forbidden until murderer has been found instead of trying to find out who the murderer is and going after the clues I distributed throughout the village they decided that it's a lot faster to just frame a random person in the village they decided that the daughter of the local mayor a very impressionable youth was the perfect target she and the other young people in the village were looking forward to the concert of a famous Gothic bar named shadow play at the time and most of them were dressed in black and we're talking about the cruel void that is life without actually knowing what that means so my party proceeded to convince shadowplay to let them construct the stage decorations for her as well as convincing the mayor's daughter to hide behind said decoration and jump out in the middle of the concert screaming I did it I murdered them all because they convinced her it was cool and edgy they also convinced another four lads to start biting people murder victims had bite marks on their bodies because my party figured out that framing multiple people is better than framing just one everything proceeds as planned and a major panic and confusion ensues but after clearing it all up it soon becomes apparent to the villagers that these young people weren't the murderers so the catapult stays closed my party is disappointed that their scheme didn't work and follow the clues they soon find out that there's more behind the murders than just a simple killer but they decide to team up with the perpetrators in exchange for them helping my group illegally operating the catapults in a secret night operation so they left the village behind knowing that everyone would soon get slaughtered in order to pursue their main goal of hitting the city said to have the best pizza it would later be led astray by George W Bush in a thinly veiled scheme to secure a region rich in oil afterwards they unearthed and reanimated a skeleton named Hyde Olinda decided that the name is amazing and currently they are trying to elevate that skeleton to godhood I threw away my serious campaign notes long ago I remember one of my groups was tracking down a bandit camp after they stole a bunch of jewelry from some high-end shop they tracked them down in their camp and a bunch are just sitting by the campfire chillin and swapping stories they knock out one of the patrolling bandits and decide the rogue should wear his clothes and try to sneak in he successfully does so and out of interest asks the guys by the fire what they're talking about oh you know just what we're gonna do when we get our money I'm gonna retire to a nice field just farm and have peace after having been a slave and it'll all be nice yeah I'm gonna give it all to my kids so they never had the rough upbringing I did I'd hate for them to find out this is my life I wouldn't be able to stand their disappointment the wife left after finding out and I've had to make an excuse to the kids for her absence I just hope this goes well for their sake yeah I'm in a similar boat I need the money to help pay for my sister's treatment she got poisoned on one of her adventures and well I'm not really skilled in anything or adventurous so I needed some way to get money quick my rogue promptly excused himself and reported back to the party what'd you find out we should uh yeah let's just leave these guys have it rough it's so funny because now the rug hesitates to kill bandits and such because he doesn't know what their life is this is a long post but it's a great story so bear with me big smiley I'm currently the DM for my group of friends none of whom had ever played D&D previously but who were all enthusiastic to try it out our first adventure was army of the Damned which is set in innistrad our party is composed of a Kessinger arcane trickster a gavin ER sorcerer a stenson barbarian and a faylene monk and a kacica ranger our group was nearing the end of the campaign having just reached Siegfried's stronghold they cleverly befriend in the Dryad who happily gave them access to the secret tunnel into the stronghold which exits into the kitchen the kitchen contains four charm breaker devils who are busy trying to cook a meal for an angry and impatient baal Gora in the next room I described the charm breakers conversation to my party which consists of them complaining about the ball Gura discussing their desire to leave and frantically trying to decide what to put into the stew everything ranging from body parts to apples to shoes through this conversation I was trying to demonstrate to my party that the Devils were both intelligent and unhappy with their current situation if approached they would be more than happy to betray their master in exchange for their freedom even providing the party with a sleeping potion to put into the bal giris - however the party member that scouted out the charm breaker Devils was our intrepid and reckless sorcerer Thurgood Jenkins the choice of Jenkins in his character name should tell you all you need to know about his play style immediately upon completing my description of The Devil's in their conversation Thurgood immediately yells I cast Thunder Wave so much for the element of surprise suddenly the charm breaker Devils are under attack and the massive sonic boom from the spell has alerted every creature in the stronghold the party shocked tries to engage the Devils as the ball gora and his crawling claw minions burst through the door to make matters worse although the charm breaker Devils are very weak they do have one very useful combat ability counterspell during the first round of combat the sorcerer arcane trickster and ranger each have a spell counter spelled by the charm breakers the barbara has engaged with thurgood who was in the front and the party quickly realizes they are outmatched most of the party was still in the tunnel at this point including the Barbarian who has finest away from the action within the first round the party reluctantly decides that there is no way to save Thorogood Jenkins and that he must pay the price for his Jenkins ish behavior as the party members all begin using their turns in the next round to run away through the tunnel we reached the turn of thurgood Jenkins who acts right before the ball gora thurgood seeing the darkness of the situation looks at me square in the eye and says I speak abyssal so I want to try and convince the ball gora that I have been sent here by Siegfried to become the head chef for the kitchen since the Devils are clearly so incompetent I explained to him that my Thunder wave was simply a way of punishing them for their ineptitude as a moment of silence as I gave him a long hard look normally I wouldn't allow something so far-fetched to have a chance of success but I was legitimately impressed that he had managed to incorporate the details I gave him about the charm breaker Devils into the lie it was true that the ball Gura was very unhappy with the quality of their cooking so figured he at least deserved a role I told him to make a persuasion check in my head I'm thinking dc25 he's a high charisma sorcerer with the persuasion skills so he needed a 19 to 20 to succeed anything else would inevitably result in his character being torn to pieces by the ball Cora at this point they're good jenkins has a mess grin on his face and everyone at the table is laughing over his Hail Mary attempt to resolve the situation he rolls the dice in natural 20 the entire table erupts and cheers and laughter as he jumps from his chair screaming with pure joy based on his roll the ball gora gave his character a lone discerning look and then grunted approvingly gestured at the stewpot and advised more shoes before returning to the other room easily one of my favorite moments playing D&D a perfect example of why I love this game so much hello my sugary rosy lil gulab jamuns of pure glistening radiant love energy thank you for watching this video to the end we're pissing and [ __ ] and freaking out over how close the channel is to 50k subs and it's all thanks to your sweet tart tartan asses so thank your little poopers for subscribing thank you for sharing your stories with us and thank you for sharing with us your enthusiasm for Dungeons & Dragons rip daddy & BM voices got their first taste of D&D combat in roleplay last night as we play tested our characters and House Rules and as expected everybody rolled hot trash except for me who [ __ ] killed it because drew it although I did burn two instances of lucky in one turn but I really meant it so miss me with that [ __ ] anyway back to business please keep sharing your stories and feedback in the comments check out our discord server say what's up sometime sub for not 20s and hug somebody who needs it thanks again for all that you do you are loved may the dice ever be in your favor and we'll catch you next time [Music]

Channel: MrRipper

Views: 293,568

Keywords: #DungeonsAndDragons, dnd stories, dungeons and dragons, ask reddit, dungeons & dragons, askreddit top posts, reddit stories, dnd, dnd 5e, dnd stories reddit, dungeon master, dnd campaigns, dm tips 5e, dungeons and dragons online, best of reddit, dungeons and dragons cartoon, dungeons & dragons florida edition, dungeons and dragons online classes, puffin forest, gm tips, reddit compilation, d&d story

Id: C1RTeL2rn2g

Length: 16min 11sec (971 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 06 2020