Seth Manifests a Better World

-Welcome back to "Late Night." You know, for a few years now, I've had a friend who's told me that if you take a little time out of your day to visualize what you want out of the world, the universe will make it a reality. Normally, I don't go for that sort of thing, but I thought that maybe it would be nice if I could take some time on the show and manifest the world as I'd like to see it in our new segment, "Seth Manifests a Better World." [ Cheers and applause ] [ Ethereal music plays ] I want a world that is kind. A world where people look after those in need. I want a world that respects nature. A world where people care for our wildlife and environment. And I want a world where I have jewels. [ Eerie music plays ] Lots of jewels. Jewels of all kind! Rubies, diamonds, emeralds. A treasure trove of jewels! Everywhere I look... has nothing but jewels. Jewels as far as the eye can see. [ Ethereal music plays ] I want a world that's empathetic. A world where people take the time to respect our similarities and differences. I want a world filled with curiosity, one where people approach one another with open hearts and open minds. I want a world where I'm swimming in... jewels! [ Eerie music plays ] Jewels everywhere! My home is a veritable kaleidoscope of jewels. Beautiful, shining jewels. And they're mine! You understand me?! They're all mine! ♪♪ [ Ethereal music plays ] I want a world... that's full of self-love. A world where we accept ourselves for who we are and not who others want us to be. And I want a world with more jewels. [ Eerie music plays ] There's not enough jewels anymore! More! More, more! Alvarado's tomb. The famed conquistador buried his fortune with him in the Andes Mountains, just beyond the perilous Sand Spider Ridge. Dozens have been killed attempting to pass, but I must have those jewels! I put together an expedition made up of my financier, Arthur Whitlock III, and a local guide, Dario. Together we have agreed to an equal split of Alvarado's treasure. And we go forth into the jaws of hell, seeking the jewels! [ Laughs evilly ] Beautiful, dazzling jewels! [ Cackling evilly ] [ Ethereal music plays ] I want a world that is just. A world where people are treated in accordance to what is right and fair, such as me... getting my jewels. [ Eerie music plays ] For weeks -- weeks, I tell you -- we have traversed the precipitous Andes searching for the conquistador's tomb. Frostbite gnaws at our extremities, and the thin air strips us of oxygen, leaving our brains consumed...by madness. As we cross the Sand Spider Ridge, I see Whitlock's face. Does he truly believe I haven't noticed his scheme? I can see it in his eyes. He wants my jewels! Mine! We cross the ridge. Dario is far ahead of us. The treacherous Whitlock right behind me. I approach Whitlock, grab him by the collar, and in a flash... [ Dramatic chord strikes ] ...he's gone! It's his own fault! The fool! He made me do it! He tried to take my jewels! My jewels! Mine! ♪♪ [ Ethereal music plays ] I want a world with more equality. [ Eerie music plays ] And more jewels! I look up and see Dario already walking into the mouth of the cave. I follow Dario in. And at last, we found Alvarado's crypt! And the jewels. Jewels everywhere. We rejoice. Our long, nightmarish journey is over. But then suddenly a panicked Dario stares at me. "But where is Señor Whitlock?" he asks, his eyes brimming with accusation. At that moment, I see it in his eyes. He wants my jewels. I look down. A pickaxe! We wrestle on the floor, each trying to get ahold of the sharp tool, and in a flash... [ Dramatic chord strikes ] Dari-o-o-o-o! Why'd you make me do it? Why did you make me kill you, you fool? As the light fades from his eyes, I look around at my jewels. Mine. Finally all mine. No one to steal them. No one to steal them from me now except... [ Dramatic chord strikes ] You there. I see the way you're staring at my jewels. They're not your jewels. You stay away from my jewels! you fool! You're making me do this! Don't make me kill you! ♪♪ [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ They're mine now. They're mine. They're all mine. Mine! Mine! Mine! [ Ethereal music plays ] And lastly, I wish for a world with more generosity. ♪♪ ♪♪ That's the world I want to live in. We'll be right back... with more "Late Night."

Channel: Late Night with Seth Meyers

Views: 143,278

Keywords: late night, seth meyers, NBC, NBC TV, television, funny, talk show, comedy, humor, stand-up, parody, snl seth meyers, host, promo, seth, meyers, weekend update, news satire, satire, Seth Manifests a Better World, manifesting, manifest, comedy segment, seth meyers segment, late night segment, manifestation, better world, brighter future, future, jewels, manifesting a better world, nature, animals, earth, mother earth, bit

Id: 6Cu5MlneEJk

Length: 5min 48sec (348 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 16 2024