Series 17, Episode 8 - 'The umbrella wink.' | Full Episode

[Music] [Applause] w w w oh no no yes um yeah Christ wrong way that's how you do it baby okay oh my God [Applause] [Music] hello Andre Davis welcome to Taskmaster tell Nan to stop shuffling around the kitchen we're starting that's it in you come Nan sit down get her a cushion get Nana a cushion sit Nana up now n oh it's okay she's asleep so let's just get stuck into some comedians please welcome John mcnell John Robins Nick Mohamed Sophie will and Steve pton and next to me a man who recently confided in me when drunk that he thinks the pride movement has got a bit out of hand yeah I don't remember that so I've got you uh I've got your coffee just got your coffee then then we'll crack them with a show okay I know how you like your coffee I like my coffee black I know you do with milk on the side it's here it's a black coffee with milk on the side it's got milk on the side ready it's prize task time what's the category please Alex yes well unfortunately it's the thing of yours Greg would most like to squeeze in his mighty hands yes that's where we're at and I'm fine with it Greg will give five points to the thing he'd like to squeeze most in his mighty hands and all five squeezeable things will go home with the winner at the end of the show it's easy squeezy Nick what you brought in that I might like to squeeze in my mighty hand this is a ticket this is Nick's thigh toen and this is basically one thigh squeeze per month and um I'm going to let you s genuinely going to let you squeeze it and the reason why is because there is an element of surprise is go for it oh [ __ ] there you go that's it that's that what a mighty tree trunk you're hiding it's really hard isn't it what's that all about I just walk everywhere fast I was not expecting that I me I feel life you life can you Des was there any give to them at all go on yours I just wonder how is this going to work will you go to them or do they have to come to you that's a good question actually we just meet somewhere Central yeah yeah okay good start unusual hi Steve hi uh I have brought you a device Greg that will allow you to squeeze a filling of your choice into an unpeeled banana he's not lying it's it's similar in in the way that they inseminate pigs um God this is turning out to be a sexy episode we actually have a video of it in action if you'd like to see the video on a banana yeah on a banana we've used chocolate sauce you could I actually have a banana down here that I would like to show you and demonstrate for God's sake Steve this is an un banana yeah yeah and uh so you've sent your kids to school and they've sent who what's the surprise today in my banana and they break it open and inside you get lovely chocolate good sorry St Steve have you got shares in this company I'll read you out just one of the many positive reviews inexpensive enough to enjoy the memories [Applause] made thanks Steve Joan I'm just going to show the picture it's the thing I'd like I think you'd like to squeeze it's my nose so I have no cartilage in my nose what you mean what so it goes all the way flat down what so I used to flatten it that that was my project I'd flatten it down and then like buff it back up after to remold it do you want to try can I yeah you're going to squeeze it in your Mighty hand no you have to it's more like a push down just give me your finger I'll guide you I do s keep the hair out of the face to hold your hair back yeah that'd be great thanks I told you he's a gentleman here we go I don't like it I don't like it don't like it I answered the brief no the brief asked for something I'd like to squeeze in my I feel like I've been forced it's kind of cool isn't it wonder why you haven't got that and I'm adopted so when I was younger you went around pressing people noes are you my mom are you my mom are you sure well Greg I have brought for you to squeeze in your Mighty hands my Farthing collection wow when I was at school I didn't have a huge amount of Friends girls weren't particularly interested so I thought I'll set myself apart through collecting coins I presume they're discolored with your tears of loneliness H do you want to squeeze them in your Mighty hand of course not I want to I want to hold John and tell him it's going to be all right all right who's left uh Sophie yes i' had gone down the body parts theme as well I tried to get my left breast for you to squeeze cuz it's my better one is it detachable well I was going to have it molded I mean it'll s me over the edge so I've already squeezed a thigh in and someone's brain yeah and nipples are not allowed on Channel 4 and I thought what would be lovely to squeeze and what forgot in the dressing room right I thought if I've not got a tip what have I got you know what I mean so this is what's left a bottle of paint you don't mind if I just write down one point while you is there any part of the wants to squeeze that paint in your Mighty hand yeah there was part of me that wants to give it a squeeze yeah and it's not necessarily one point by the way because we have let's not forget John's father I'll give them both one point or both two points yeah yeah give them both two points I like to squeeze both in a way I feel sorry for John yeah they're charity points two to John two to I don't think I particularly want to pump bananas for a s Steve I'll give you three points okay I think it's Nick Muhammad's thigh I want to squeeze the most yeah I'm going to say four points and Five Points mham okay let's get tasking Alex Oh flip off Greg in a good [Music] way is it warm your jacket do you know it's not a CO very comfy yeah it's both warm and fabulous so what more do you need just just like me a flip-flop a flapjack and uh flan flip flop flan Flap Jack yeah flip flan Jack that's not the okay will I just open it yes please flick flip and flap a flip flop FL and Flap Jack you made only flick flip and flap once furthest flicked flipped and flapped flip flop flan and Flapjack finishes first you have 15 minutes uh no right it doesn't say 15 minutes you have 15 minutes you have 15 minutes your time starts now you have 15 minutes not quite you have 15 minutes no so I've got one flick one flip and one flap yes the furthest flap but what's the furthest flap I don't know you have 15 minutes no which bit the old thing the 15 bit do you have 15 minutes your time starts now oh 15 yeah I put an NA in it CU you're right you're a monkey actually aren't you yeah was a trick isn't that [Music] you like a tongue twisted don't you uh that's my favorite everything got all excited bet this whole task was created just so you could say lots of fls I'm going to say more in a minute naughty FL okay well Joan and John are the first to flip flap and flick you're going to be flapping from here yeah how far should I go further than that don't patronize me I'd take go home I'm going to stay here FL the flipflop is he so if I just yes mate so this is the flip-flop okay you ready [Music] ready full [Music] starts I'm happy with that okay that's been flapped is it disappointed with that flap really hard at the nck I curved to the left did a bit and you flck I'm absolutely thrilled I've never used a cable tie before Ready [Music] Steady it's gone quite far Alex so you're flicking that you're definitely going to be flicking flicking it [Music] Jack come on you bastards just go gaffer go gaffer crazy tighter tighter onto the skin yeah yeah yeah onto the skin very happy flop of FL is like turn a flan over basically John you've got one and a half minutes left okay I'm just thinking if I flap like that then that gets a bit of balance in the old Vibe oh [Music] oh that's so bad by John byebye okay you ready oh yeah at least I had something you flocked him right in the face [Applause] I wish there were more Sports people who as they do whatever sport they're play shouted come on you bastard I thought John was very creative I very much enjoyed you turning yourself into a giant human Albatross do you know what I watching back I remember the feeling of Freedom you asked him to gaffet tape your wings on and Alex said do you want me to put it on the skin and he was so genuinely excited show them the face I couldn't believe my luck little things little things keep me going next it's flipping Sophie Willen and flapping Steve pton have you seen cir D they did a very similar thing to this I've always wanted to actually slam time I was wondering when it would be I'm going to go quick okay run out okay is everyone ready you've alerted the key row about the flight path okay the time starts now round okay well I'm going to I'm going to flick a flipflop let just checking that's your attt is it on the flipflop that was yeah flip tip yeah cuz it's furthest winds it didn't go very far furthest winds I missed that forgot about that bit yeah we've done that that's it yeah that went a ctim okay so that wasn't my best work 1 2 [Music] 3 I'm going to measure the height rather than the distance I think you should I'm going to flip this because I think it'd be very fun is that all right to flip a FL of course it is yeah s just St to feel quite rebellious slap ja to flick and am I allowed to use a pen to flick with please be careful oh thank you not sure okay this is a [Music] oneoff happy with that Flapjack flag okay and right with the flapjack I can only do one last thing now just to say you have got 14 minutes left oh I've got FL minutes I've got hes yeah I've not thought this through um how many of my 50 minutes have I got left six six when I get to fly let me know okay flap flip flop what's a flap if we're going to be flapping I think we need we need an owl if you will imagine that this blue blanket is the owl's wing and that is where the flap comes in okay I'd love to I think I'm going to Flap I'd say flap is like I'm oh that yeah that was better that cleared the stage when you startle the owl yep the flap will happen there's a [Music] mouse how was that well you've made the flip-flop disappear it's gone you finished the task right not well though but it was done thank you that was fun what can I say I'm happy with that that's your time up thank you Steve thank [Music] [Applause] you can I just say jumping on that uh pivots and sending that flan into the sky it made me so happy well as you walked at the end with your owl tucked under your arm you look like the happiest boy in the school I was I I don't care whatever else happens this was my moment so Sophie do you feel any sense of shame I definitely didn't grasp the task well you know it was fine because it was done in 2 minutes yeah yeah yeah I didn't know that was supposed to be entertaining well done Steve who's next please everyone's had to go apart from Nick oh he's such an intelligent talented man I just can't wait to see him having a go they only flip flick and flat [Music] once ah [Music] why are you going over there cuz it's the furthest [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay have you finished yeah I could only do do it once yeah I think I've nailed it thanks Nick thank you lovely [Applause] stuff well I presume some of the cheering and Applause there is sarcastic and carrying the table across the Garden in a wonderfully ceremonial way yeah oh it was it was borderline religious thank you uh well just trying to get as far away from Alex as possible yeah he thought F furthest from Alex furthest from Alex was that what it said no Sophie you must be [ __ ] are you watching the other four thinking what are you doing genuinely cuz you saved me to the end I was like I've nailed this I whispered yeah you did you did have you done something extraordinary and I was like did Nick to he did flick some objects off a table sure I've just measured it from where the flick started to where it ended so I've just gone from the top of the table to the floor height of the table is a meter I'm measuring everything in pigeons but just the width of pigeons all stood next to each other so 10 it' be about uh 10 pigeons and Sophie was 56.9 pigeons so that shows how badly you did Nick let's get on to the serious athletes Joanne 197 pigeon Steve 208 pigeons so yes he is in second place but the mighty John flapped flicked and flipped 408 pigeons in a row a huge tile so many 40.8 five to John four to steeve three to drone two to S marvelous scoreboard it's a three-way at the top we have seven points for Joan John and Steve lovely what's next then I'd love to tell you but it's a secret and it's a secret which I'm going to tell you right now hi Steve hi do you mind opening that and reading it please could you take this and read it now yes quietly I'm so sorry you've got something secret well I've got to give you that got a little bonus thing for you but it's very secretive in the next task you must say the word umbrella five times in the next task you must say the word umbrella five times if you say the word umbrella five times and no and no one else says the word umbrella you get two bonus WS your teammates must hear you say umbrella your umbrellas and you must not mention the concept of a bonus task the next task you must lie on other Pap in the next task you must lie on the floor for 30 seconds if you lie on the floor for 30 seconds without anyone questioning why you're lying on the floor you get two bonus points in the next task you must get something from the Caravan the shed the hutch and the toilet before the task is finished if you get something from all those places without anyone questioning why you're getting something from all those places you get two bonus points okay this is getting pretty serious thank you byebye bye I don't mean to be rude but I can't think of anyone less suited to a secret T John literally talks at at the same volume you would use to warn ships away from rocks okay so we know they're secret tasks but what's the team task to test them it's time to find out [Music] hello John Hello Alex hello Steve hello hello Joanne Hello Alex hello Nick Hello Alex hello Sophie hello hello team hello hello team hello woo e I'll take the lead here uh put the watermelon on this table put the watermelon on this table the table may not be moved once you leave this room you you may not re-enter this room also you may not step on the stage and the watermelon may not touch the touch the stage floor or ground finally you must speak into your handheld microphones at all times fastest winds your time started when you said hello for a fourth time you did say hello a lot at the beginning oh God did we yeah I said hello Steve hello ni hello team and then each time you both said hello oh so put the Waterman on this table the table may not into the microphones please they don't [Applause] work that's it MH there's some sneaky stuff of foot okay well here are the team of three with Joan John and good old subtle Sophie there's a watermelon on the stage so who wants to stay in the room to receive the watermelon I'm happy to stay in the room to happy to receive a watermelon are you you seem to know keep you in for now and I'll go and check there's a watermelon out umbrella yeah great okay right I see what's going on there is a watermel on the stage I've got these from the hutch just in case you want to lay them on the floor right or can we could do that we need to think of something to use to get the watermelon off the stage um can you check what does it say put the watermelon on this table once you leave this room you may not reenter this room we can touch the watermel yeah but we can't walk on the stage right okay what's going on here you're here you're ready to receive right I we I feel like an umbrella I've got this from the Caravan oh God I didar step on the stage you may not step on the stage in the water may not touch the stage floor a grant oh but we need something else to Pat to stop it hitting the stage one sec John what if I lie down and then you roll it on to me right I got this from the shed and that from the toilet umbrella you may not step on the stage and W you may not step on the stage well if we step on that are we stepping on the stage ruling please Alex I am unfortunately not the rule maker I don't know what's going on but then to be honest I've not had a clue what was going on the most of this umbrella pass Ser TR to crack yes you might need something to hook it with like an umbrella it's going to be took theug with like an umbrella yeah quick John sorry for trying to tort you great no we got it not an umbrella great St we got the watermelon are you ready to receive the watermelon are you ready to receive I am umbrella I am are you allowed to touch the watermelon I'm allowed to touch the watermelon I'm a not let's check it where's the task the gone where's the task I think I can touch the water well all the information's on the task right all right John it's in your pocket John it's in your pocket you umbrella yeah we can we can touch the water now I just pick it up umbrella take the basket and put it on all right run selfie run run s like carrying an umbrella we did it done I'll stop the clock I thought we really pulled it together there at the last minute there's no umbrella no you didn't use the umbrella I mean many anyways this this task is a sort of metaphor for life really and that none of us are listening to each other really you you only had to say umbrella five times I just wanted to make sure they got it but how many times did she say umbrella 15 50 but by the end she wasn't even trying to slip it in she she was just going umbrella neither of you noticed this woman lying on the floor no no John was standing right beside me and didn't even blink didn't even acknowledge it at all my head was in the mud I was just lying I think the more time I've spent with Sophie and with Joan the less likely I to notice that Sophie has said umbrella 15 times the floor I'll tell you definitely all three of them get their two bonus points oh God yeah so let's see Nick and Steve try to be sneaky and efficient at the same time put the watermelon on this table and we can't move this table right well we we need to get going don't we we need to see where the watermelon is okay yeah come on let's go and find the watermelon I want to find a to stop it and then the end or something and then well we could always take one you green the task no you've got the task I don't have the task there's the watermelon we may not step on the stage we may not step on the sped that's the task that's the task um so should I run back and get the test yes please yeah you keep talking in your microphone uh Steve's just going to get the I can't go back in the room the task again can't go back in the room oh God so we've got to find a way of getting that off there look hang on oh God watch out every all right oh my God would it be better if I Ed the umbrella or the brick that was good okay are we any further forward what about one of these pipes oh yeah we should have done that in the first place go on [Applause] oh yeah oh I've got it I've got it okay now it can't leave the St no it can't leave the stage what did it say did it say Alex remind us can it leave the stage I don't think it's really my job to remind you what the task is all right there was definitely something to do with the watermelon in the stage was it did did it invol an umbrella did it say something about we're not allow why didn't we bring the task with us oh I'm going to get let's go and get the Tas we're not allowed back in the room let's just take it let me just see if I can grab it without going back in using this umbrella should I bring the watermelon cuz this is a Time task that's not going to work I can't remember if I'm can touch the watermelon [Music] can I touch the watermelon I can't remember what the rules are what do you two think the task is we've got to put this on the table know but I don't think it's just that you carry it well we if we don't know what the task is how are we going to solve it well it's was going look to do this umbrella so I'll leave that there right okay so got to put this on the table we can't move the table my way is it might like fall off the edge can't literally go in the room okay okay you ready [Music] yeah there is some on there where is the watermelon on the table on the table and on the bits on the floor do you think you've completed the task should we just cut our losses and say we've completed the task I've stopped the clock can we now go and see what it was I don't think you should oh okay I don't remember being that bad well I thought you both managed your secret tasks you were showboating with the umbrella yeah the umbrella Wink's going to catch on for you okay in terms of the rest of it well this is what I've written down I don't think it's unfair to say that that's the worst task attempt I've seen in 17 series so points wise all five get their two points without question team of three I'm presuming five points for doing the task correct how many points did the team of two get they just get their two bonus points each so it goes two points to Steve two points to Nick all the rest gets seven points there it [Applause] is good let's get cracking with another place okay then but I think you should get a life [Music] hi come on in two men enter the Dome only one will live s very serious do it I do tend to be should we hold hands this is a mannequin but I thought you could call it a janin nice what we up to then ah yes I knew it make this mannequin come alive it's alive does that mean sort of decorate it or or as a sort of performance most alive mannequin wins you have 20 minutes your time starts now what just being alive live me this is steep in it um what's your definition of alive um alive I'd like to see some organs do you like it yeah just trying to get some sort of inspiration from it well that's a good start okay you wouldn't be the first man I know with the rod St up as [Music] hell should I bring the arms yeah maybe okay oh hello hello everyone I'll be seeing you in a bit do not [Music] [Applause] disturb well I'm intrigued to watch them all become Dr Frankenstein scale it back a little bit we're going to start with Sophie and John's mannequins coming to life Wow [Music] hello my name's wolf I'm 36 I'm a Scorpio and I'm looking for [Applause] [Music] love do you have any hidden talents I'm a very very very good dancer for for a sort of puppet woman wolf I can do a few things well I'd like to see that all right uh one two three ooh ooh ooh ooh ah OA OA [Music] [Applause] [Music] oo I can do a Beat Box yes I'd like to see that right [Applause] [Music] thank you can't believe you've been single for so long I know stop that you flirting bye [Applause] byebye John's is quite Haunting in a way just side note you've got two of those jackets have you what I saw there was someone being thoughtful and intelligent and I think that was a really sweet response and you did the uh beat boxing puppet wolfwoman what's more alive than a beat boxing wolf an ashtray she was called party dog 36 years old and a Scorpio I I really enjoyed it Sophie it was so [ __ ] good who's next okay well brace yourself because it's Joan McMan Aly it's Joan it's Joan M Joan McMan it doesn't matter here we go Joan [Music] [Music] do you mind kind of in the middle of something here Alex sorry Jan trying to resuscitate a man Dar come on buddy no you think he's properly gone now well his eyes falling off he doesn't need it where he [Music] [Applause] is what was your T go bring this mannequin to life oh it wasn't jumping on the corpse of a monoid man I don't know what I were doing but what's interesting is you were in control of the narrative and you chose not to save him I literally announced his death myself we're going to see Nick Muhammad's attempt now oh hello hello now I've um I decided to show you some um some magic okay what so what's your name Daniel Paul Daniel Paul is it yeah oh hello Daniel Paul so um what I'm going to do is um I'm going to cut this rope in half I don't know if you've heard of the famous cut and restored rope trick as this is Magic we don't need real scissors we just use magic scissors and uh I can just go snip like that like that and then one like that oh yeah the ends have the ends have come off well if they're the ends then this must be uh the middle and this doesn't even have any ends does it so uh yes there you go that's a little trick and um thank you very much um my name's been Daniel Paul thank you that's been Bing see you what a boring magician he was I know the actual trick was brilliant but him he sort of was alive I kind of wanted him dead right he also occasionally would go hello but then then he would just be my voice yeah one left yes there is just one last attempt and remember remember the fifth is Steve pimber little attempt to fuse man and mannequin man and Manon feel a thing alive man I tell you eyes are the windows to the there we go eyes skin skin attempt to use man and mannequin [Music] ah ask me to dance would you mind dancing are you referring to me what is your name Alex Alex I'm Quinn Quinn Quinn many Quinn I don't know if you can tell from my expression but I feel quite lonely I would certainly love it if you would dance with me oh I see because dancing makes me feel the most alive it's possible to feel got long oh dear am not looking at you yes yeah do you like my scarf yeah don't mind the scarf yeah we going all the way around are we yes y you looking at me yes [Music] yeah I feel alive I feel alive I feel alive I'm going to blow my whistle now and seene [Applause] [Music] you want to give me some back stories your character she wanted to feel alive she wanted she sorry oh yeah yeah sorry I missed that I I missed that too yeah well as soon as I went it's alive then I thought the Frankenstein and then I use what I've got yeah and I think it was the most alive and I should be rewarding it handsomely yeah I can vouch for that it was it was forceful yeah yeah wow do you want some points all right most alive mannequin wins well we're going to start with the least alive mannequin haven't we Joan yeah so one point to Joan and Ali Wolfie was great no I'm not going to be I'm not going to be worned down by public opinion two points oh [ __ ] you I'm temp to give Nick and John three Points each because I have to put a golf between their wonderful creations of this Twisted monsters so three to John three to Nick and five to Steve pton there it is let's look at the scores on play Alex well you won't believe it in the lead it's John with 17 points he's away again please make you wait the stage for the final task of the show [Applause] [Music] hi there good boy who's reading the task John Robinson is going to read the task write down a letter of the alphabet you have 10 seconds when I blow my whistle you got 10 seconds to write one letter of the alphabet nice and clear on it okay we have a t l m b p and that's the end of the task come on you silly boy what's next right John there's the proper task ah every time Greg asks you a question you must write down an answer last correct answer placed on the board is eliminated Greg will ask you a question it will involve your letter the last person to put a correct answer up on the board is eliminated gotcha right okay well the atmosphere is [Laughter] electric ready what is a country beginning with the letter four before yours in the alphabet four before four before a b c d f g h that is incorrect John that is correct Yemen Sophie that is incorrect Yemen incorrect correct Joanne what have you written liia correct it's between Nick and Sophie what oh oh I can keep going right yeah yeah what have you written India that is correct I'm afraid we have lost Sophie willing Sophie the trouble is the fourth before hers is begins with x and there are no countries no countries so have been [ __ ] you four people left as we go to round two what is a food beginning with the letter 25 letters after yours in the alphabet a food beginning with the letter 25 correct he is correct was fast I mean Goan that is incorrect John that is correct Olive correct I'm afraid we have lost Joan MCM okay it's a three man what is something heavier than a cat beginning with a letter 10 letters before yours in the alphabet Oh get fast oh my word Nick correct John incorrect Nick like R man tonight yeah Goose incorrect correct John we've lost Steve pton we've lost Steve pton yeah we were looking for an S there okay it's the big final what is a common lady's name eight letters after your letter it's Tina and that's correct [Applause] he just asked the Tina there so that means the winner of the task Mr John Robins there it is come down here without the final [Applause] scores I tell you what Series wise you wouldn't believe the effect it's had on the scores Nick's at the bottom and John's at the top but there's only 47 points between them you have got a chance of winning the series still if three people die I can do that John won the task and the episode was also won by Mr John Robbins with 22 points oh my God John Robbins wins please go and squeeze your things and would not to please me [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] for more Taskmaster subscribe now [Music]

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 446,328

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster full episodes, james acaster, bob mortimer, channel 4, panel show, uk comedy, comedy, sophie duker, bridget christie, sam campbell, julian clary, pennel show, judi love, ardal ohanlan, lucy beaumont, joannemcnally, john robins, nickmohammed, sophie willan, stevepemberton

Id: Bd7eaxP8xEE

Length: 45min 52sec (2752 seconds)

Published: Fri May 17 2024